Me When I Love Somebody So Much I Write Them Porn For Their Birthday (targeted)

Canon: They’re roommates! Best friends! Siblings! Colleagues! Sidekicks!

Fanon: They’re in love.

canon: they died

fanfic: fUCK YOU

Sirius literally towers over everyone. He’s like 6’5 and super broad. He’s not touchy, but his favourite form of physical contact is putting his chin on people’s heads (only his closest friends). Remus (5’10) likes cuddling up as close as possible to gather heat, like a little warmth-sponge, and will worm himself so far into Sirius’ personal space that he ends up inside of his jumper with him. James, being the second tallest Marauder (6’0), doesn’t fit unless he hunches over, but he enjoys it the most out of the whole friend group, partially because James is also pretty broad and Sirius is the only one who can make him feel dainty. Peter (5’3) likes it, but feels really short whenever Sirius does it, which is annoying. Lily (5'5) thought it was weird at first, but got used to it and started to find it sweet when he began doing it when she got close after getting with James.

Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”

Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.

Little Teddy doesn’t know what Daddy’s name is, but they figure it must be either “Moony,” “Love,” “ma Lune,” “Amour,” or “Chéri,” because that’s what Papa always calls him. They assume that at a few of the names must be nicknames, because, as far as they know, people only have one name. They’re pretty sure his name is Moony, though, because that’s what James and Peter call him, too.

Papa laughs for five whole minutes when they tell him their conundrum. Daddy just smiles like he does when they show him their cool jumps and tells Papa something in Welsh.

EXACTLY! But like… only with Remus + James + Peter when nobody else is around. Anybody else comes and he very rapidly becomes one of those massive dogs built to guard farms and shit

Remus Lupin calls Sirius Black baby!! It doesn’t matter that Sirius is 6’5” and 300lbs with a strongman build, covered in tattoos, heavily pierced, and insanely strong (in all ways possible), he is Remus’ baby. He sits on the ground between Remus’ legs and rests on his thighs while he works. He curls up against Remus’ side, arms around his waist, nuzzling into his neck when he feels too vulnerable. He routinely lays on Remus’ lap and silently begs for forehead kisses and praise. Remus refers to Sirius as “baby” in public and then this massive bear of a man walks over and wraps his arms around Remus and pulls him into his chest and people are terrified. But Remus is just like “yeah that’s my baby! Hi baby!” and Sirius kisses his head and calls him the most heart-wrenchingly touching and beautiful names ever… I love them to death omg

Okay, I actually have to correct this, but no hate or anything! Fanon has made it seem like James harassed her, but he didn’t! In canon, he asked her out one (1) time, during Snape’s memory, and, presumably, a second when they got together. There was no harassment. He was 15 and dumb, but he canonically changed for the better. On top of that, the Marauders never bullied Snape. Snape had a very large death-eater friend group who had a rivalry with the Marauders. It went both ways! The Marauders hated them because they were horrible people and Lily hated most of them, too. Point being: Jily isn’t toxic! They were young and did things a little quick because there was a war going on. I love Jamie I will die for him omg

I ship fanon jily but I do not ship canon jily. You're telling me a guy who bullied a girl's best friend, harrassed her, wouldn't take no for an answer when she made it clear she wasn't interested in him, told her he'd stop bullying said friend if she went out with him, ended up marrying said girl? And she had a baby at 21? Sounds pretty toxic to me (even if said 'best friend' was also a dick).

♡ asks ♡

 Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

James starts fights, Sirius ends them.

James calls the shots, Sirius does the shooting.

James makes the enemy, Sirius holds the grudge.

I literally have posts about trans/female Sirius and I just posted a oneshot about genderfluid Sirius but THAT WAS NOT IT??? The point was so missed good lord

Also I’m both trans and homo so like. Y’know

I think I hate people because on my fic about Sirius struggling with societal norms and wanting to dress feminine but not wanting to be perceived as weird I explicitly stated TWICE that he wasn’t trans (in that fic) and somebody STILL commented about how it was a great female Sirius fic??? I’m so sorry are we illiterate? Are we dumb? What happened? I literally told you he’s a cis guy. He made a big deal out of it. It’s a fic about how society puts people into boxes based on appearance and he didn’t want people to do that. Where do I go wrong? Did they just not read part of the fic? Did they just close their eyes? It was literally tagged as “boys in skirts” what do you mean female Sirius???

Entirely correct. You get it

guess who's back LMFAOO

do you have any wolfstar headcanons? if so pls share <33

read together. sirius reads the books remus annotates and adds his own thoughts

great duelling pair because remus is a very good defender and sirius is very aggressive and powerful while duelling

sirius is the only person remus can stand smoking and will sit out with him in the cold when he smokes just to spend time with him

affectionate but very delicately so. the kind of affection that either goes unnoticed or can be brushed off as friendly affection

(sirius' favourite way of touching remus is putting his arm around remus' shoulders and rubbing his thumb against his neck and remus' favourite way of touching sirius is holding his hand)

sirius is not used to verbalising his feelings (especially love) so when he told remus he loved him remus’ face broke into the biggest dopiest smile

snog in broom closets between classes. remus is always pressed against the door so no one can actually open it and walk in on them

the kind of couple that judges everyone around them. but while you can see it on sirius’ face, remus is more subtle and polite about it