Iwanttohugsigma - I Want To Hug Sigma

Don't try it. I make traps that kill people for a living

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

Atsushi: Why did you cut my leg off!?

Akutagawa: Because you made me mad!

Atsushi: All I said was “Do you want ramen tonight?” And then you cut my leg off!

Akutagawa: I don’t want ramen I want pork buns!

Atsushi: Then tell me like a damn human being not some damn rabid animal! This is why you don’t have any friends!

Dante: Okay Verge. Let’s play a game. Take a sip every time you see something stupid.

Vergil: *looks at his brother and takes a sip*

Dante: I hope you get fucking plastered and get robbed again.

Noctis: I can't find my phone!

Ardyn: allow me *calls Noctis' phone*

*"F*ck you" starts playing*

Ardyn: I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or an invitation, either way I do believe I am out of your league *walks away*

Ignis: alright Gladio it's your turn.

Gladio: I'll take the rapist for $500

Ignis: that says Therapist-

Gladio: who is Ardyn Izunia!

Ignis: you're horrible.

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Ignis: on the board we have "famous titles, the number 10 and current kings of Lucis"

Gladio: I'll take famous Titties for $1200

Ignis: that is famous titles..... this movie was named after a game "assassin's creed"

Gladio: ARANEA HIGHWIND

Ignis: I hate you...

Chuuya: I just want to be held and loved.

Akutagawa: Didn’t you just punch Dazai after he hugged you?

Chuuya: I said I wanted to be loved, not assaulted.

Oh my gods yes!

If Ignis was sucked into a horror dimension

“Goodness your hygiene is horrendous!”

“Oh please I’ve ridden with Noct driving. This doesn’t scare me.”

“If you plan on cooking the man use the right seasoning for gods sake!”

“It smells like Gladio’s room in here…”

“This place is filthier than Noct’s apartment!”

“I was asking for directions. Put your chainsaw down and communicate like a normal human being!”

“Do you even know how to use that knife correctly?”

“This is why you shouldn’t have sex.”

Dazai: *Flirting with Sigma* You still a virgin?

Sigma: Does me getting fucked over by life count as sex?

Why Ardyn has banned Alice from drinking.

Ardyn: Alice its late, come home.

Alice: f*** off I'm fine.

Ardyn: I just watched you walk into a light post.

Alice: You can't see me.

Ardyn: I'm right next to you

Alice: liar.

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Alice: (texts) I found your family!

Ardyn: (texts) please don't tell me you dug up another grave....

Alice: (sends him a picture of a bunch of pigs)

Ardyn: (texts) where are you?!

Alice: (texts) wif yor famly

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Chuuya: Alright Akutagawa. I’m going to teach you about dating.

Akutagawa: I’m not dating the weretiger!

Chuuya: Not with that attitude.