Enter A Suave Prince:

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

Big bird and Bear go skating!

You know what I love about tumbler? I have fifteen other blogs, three of which have twilight fan fiction I wrote. But you’ll never find it. You’ll never make the connection. And now your stuck, knowing that I write twilight fanficton, amongst other fan fics, but you’ll never see it and connect it to me. And I love that.

Oh, oh, you meant--! Haha, you meant that I should become acquainted with the lab members! Oh, see, there's--*stands in front of door, from behind which banging and groaning occurs*--there's been a funny little misunderstanding!

When you said to "make friends", I--*elbows the door to get the things behind it to quiet down*--I may have, aha, um... Misconstrued your words.

Guys, when I say kaeya carry’s my damn team, I mean that if I didn’t have him, every beefed hilichurl I came across would’ve wreaked my shit a LONG time ago

This goes to the bitch who said “You still have kaeya in your team? What are you poor?”

I just figured out why my gay ass likes goth women.

They’re more confident

Let me explain. Almost every goth/emo boy I have ever met is the whiniest little fucker with the biggest victim complex, and purposely ignores people thinking they actually need help, tries to get them that help, just so they can keep upping the whole “nobody understands me” thing even though there parents are doing everything they can to try.

But almost every goth girl I’ve ever met has been shot down CONSTANTLY, always being told they’re never getting a boyfriend, they’re ugly, so on and so forth. And yet they still have the energy and courage to say “fuck you” crush you under their platform boots, deck you in the face, and reapply their midnight rose lipstick afterwards. They don’t give two FUCKS what you think.

Now obviously there are exceptions, but I’m talking generally speaking.

So in conclusion goth women are generally more confident, and confidence is a very attractive trait. Thank you for coming to my Ted-talk

no cops at pride just danny phantom and the fenton anti transphobe stick

Riddler has a twitter account set up so if he dies, it spills all the secrets of people he’s pissed at. Don’t ask me how I know this. It was not a fun experience.

"okay kid, i have a doctors appointment, you can handle this big fuckoff bus, i believe in you, keys are in the ignition, this thing DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE so DON'T GET PULLED OVER, have fun"