Self-deprecating Inner Monologue & Backstory That Involves Several Years Of Lethargic Depression

Arthur: *calls John a Sour Puss*

Me: *proceeds to lose my fucking mind*

You know what?

I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.

I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)

I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.

I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.

I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.

I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.

I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.

I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.

I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.

Did i impulsively spend weeks on rendering after getting hooked on a Batfam fic? Yes.... Yes I did.

for real though guys, the author of this fic is an absolute angel. So... @lulurythmea: Happy Birthday.... thanks for making me cry and go feral.... can't wait to see what the hell you do next you crazy son of a bitch ;)

the fic in question is Across the Sands on Ao3, go check it out if you also want to go feral and get some of that sweet sweet hurt comfort!

Call me out like this, why don’t you?

And I can’t even be mad because this post reads like a gentle embrace as fingers ghost over lines we’ve drawn and sunken eyes and tells you it’s all going to be okay

This probably sounds weird but- I really like drawing scars, making them more exaggerated and sharp. It’s cathartic I think, it makes me feel better about my own scars. By realizing the character I’m drawing has also gone through some stuff, but they’ve healed. They made it through it. And so did I. It makes me happy seeing a character with imperfect skin, lumps and discoloration from scars and how the nerves don’t flare up the way they used to, all of that stuff.

PSA

You fought and you made it. I’m glad to see you here on the other side of that dark tunnel.

Whatever it might be that you’ve gone through, I’m proud to see how far you’ve come. It doesn’t matter if it’s just baby steps, anything at all, that’s what matters

Don’t worry to hard about falling back down. It happens. Shit gets tough. These paths aren’t always smooth. Just take your time.

For me it’s all about how you make the initially awful situation a comfort compared to other stuff, and I don’t mean this in terms of just torture vs worse torture. It’s about the way a cramped closet in the dark feels like hell at first but has since become comforting now that it’s the only place they feel safe because at least here they’re left alone. Or how a whumper can’t help but keep thinking that they’d rather be actively hurt than try to recon with the mind games and forced intimacy because at least when they’re being hurt they feel like they know how to feel about whumper. Or even little things they took for granted like a rag they used as a blanket, or disgusting food that was they’re only option, being taken away.

It’s escalation sure, but in a way that makes recovery for whumper so much harder, because of those constants, and those sources of comfort that make you feel as soon as your snapped back to the reality that it isn’t normal. in constantly choosing between the bad and the worse in their head, wishing things would go back to just being not as awful, they later realise they completely forgot about anything else. And with those few scraps of comfort being the only thing that makes them feel safe anymore, even after being rescued, can lead to some interesting and possibly harmful coping mechanisms as they try to feel normal again.

What feels comforting is often what us familiar, but sometimes what is familiar to whumper can be the furthest thing from comforting to caretaker.

But then again it really comes down to just balancing reader experiences. Too much of the same isn’t fun, you gotta dangle that hope that things can be better even if whumpee doesn’t believe it in the moment. To me they’re stories about how people survive, regardless of how different they come out the other side of it all, and that struggle will always be more interesting to me than everything constantly getting worse with no promise of resolution. Surprises are fun, but the same set up with different unique ways of whumping the whumpee can get tedious.

Idk just my thoughts.

I feel like total discomfort/ constant complete suffering can become sort of numbing for a character, taking away the impact of escalation at a certain point. It's the scraps of comfort the character gets or finds that hit harder then some of the most brutal scenes I've read/seen. That's just me though, what are yalls thoughts on this?

Okay.... in my defense.... y'all really should have seen this one coming...

@nuggdoesart

LIFEHACK TO GET ARTISTS TO DRAW FOR YOU

Find their commissions page and give them money

reblog this if your icon could kill a man

Bruh at this point in the year I’m so burnt out my mind is tugging on my shirt and with such innocent childlike eyes asking me oh so politely with little shining puppy dog eyes if we can ‘pretty please go home now?’ And m8 I do not have the capacity to say no no matter how much shit I’m behind on.

Yes, the next chapter of Blood Born will be coming out at some point. Yes I am aware that it has been almost three months and yes I know nobody asked but I felt like I owed y’all an explanation anyway…

Well damn!! This is new!

Nickname: Jay, J, Jason, Jayce and if you were in my high school drama show, you get to call me Matt

Height: about 5’6 last I measured

Last thing I googled: Japanese Edo Period time keeping systems or refs for old scottish castles, I can’t remember which.

Song stuck in my head: rn it’s Broken People by the Narcissist Cookbook, which is ironic bc it doesn’t even rhyme

Number of Followers: 93, which is insane, but I’m like at least 70% sure most of them are porn bots

Dream Job; head writer, story-boarder or creator of my own animated show :3

Wearing: an ACDC t-shirt, a pair of thongs (or I guess other countries call them flip-flops) and some thick grey shorts, along with my aro-ace rings

A Book/Movie that really summarises you: there’s nothing that really fits cleanly, but I have consistently identified with, binged and cried every time rewatch treasure Planet. At this point it’s like my comfort movie on so many levels. I don’t know what that says about me, but it’s as close to an answer as I can get for this question :/

Favourite Song: this shit changes constantly, but The Narcissist Cookbook is currently continuing to provide my comfort song “Stopping a Garden Hose with Your Thumb”, which also doesn’t really rhyme.

Aesthetic: in person it’s either a light grunge or 1920’s nonbinary mob boss, but it’s mostly just lazy with a side of ‘band t-shirts are just so damn comfortable man!’. 100% in personality it’s swirling galaxies and dragons.

Favourite Author: I don’t read nearly as much “published works of fiction” as I used to, so I’m going with favourite fiction creators, and that’s hands down Jonny Sims, Red (OSP) and Alex Hirsch. yea that’s three, I’m sorry, but for fanfiction it’s IcyPanther bc I’m still addicted to Langst.

Random Fact: I have a small scar on my left hand from back when I was making my-self rich with counterfeit classroom currency just to mess with my high school English teacher lol

@trensu @donnovien @butter-and-too-much-bread @two-children-in-a-trenchcoat @autisticaboutstufflol @nauti-ca @redhhound

15 questions 15 tags

ty @drowninglnstars for the tag !!

-nickname: red

-height: that's good question

-last thing i googled: ''malevolent transcripts''

-song stuck in head: antibiotics we're wonderful pills but dont ever think we'll cure all your ills and willow by tswift

-# of followers: at least 10

-amount of sleep: usually 4-6 hours (begrudgingly)

-dream job: librarian/historian

-wearing: shirt, grey sweater, black coat

-movie/book that summarizes you: all of them

-fav song: too many, right now probably constellations by the oh hellos! and faroe's theme from malevolent

-aesthetic: changes everyday, but personality wise eldritchcore/oddcore

-fav authors: alice oseman and any romantic author ever

-random fact: i can bend almost all of my joints backwards

not tagging 15 people because that is too many but -> @aroaceupmysleeve @galxgal @gothicwolf125 @arakhnee @lesbian-hannibal @transgenre-music and whoever want to join in :P