Forgotten, Flexible And Free

Remus Lupin

Unlike Hagrid, Lupin, had a very hard time getting over eveything that happened to him, which is part of why I’m always very sad when I think of him. Similar to Harry and Hagrid, Lupin’s life started out with difficulty and made him more of an outcast than either, getting bitten by a werewolf. 

Going to Hogwarts, he made good, true friends, but had to keep this secret from them; when he tells them, they accept him but then he deals with the guilt of betraying Albus and allowing his friends to break every benefit and precaution that allowed him to come to Hogwarts, along with the reputation and status of the school if anyone else found out. Then the First Wizarding War came but during that time his friends got married and had a child and the war only ended with the murder of his friends, the orphanage of their son, and the betrayal of another. 

The majority of Lupin’s life was between the two Wizarding Wars, when he was all alone. For over 10 years Lupin believed that one of his best friends, had betrayed not only his friends, but for power and out of hate, while he was left all alone. While the truth was similar, considering the bond Sirius and James had, and the possibility that they knew Peter wasn’t always at their level, there was a small reprieve when Lupin learned the truth. But again, the return of his friend lasts only two years before he is murdered and in that time the Second Wizarding War had begun. Again overcome with loss, loneliness and guilt, he holds himself back from love and happiness until he accepts, continues to feel guilt and shame when his child is born and soon after he and his wife are murdered.

There are many things that were so great about Lupin, he was honest, a good man, a good father, great friend and teacher. He was strong, brave, compassionate; he is a man who deserved and should have had it all but whose life was plagued, and spirit his overshadowed by ridiculous judgement and personal grief. Today is Trans Day of Visibility, a day dedicated to celebration of one’s true self and highlighting the cruelty and misguided hated those who are Trans receive. When I speak of Hagrid, I speak of how he was able to overcome his misfortunes, but Lupin was not; this, is not on Lupin. He should have had it all, he deserved to have an amazing life but was never given the opportunity to truly shine or love himself. It was not planned that I’d write about Lupin on Trans Day of Visibility, but the message I would say about both are linked.

Do Good, Be Good. While we can learn so much from Lupin, what the world needs to understand is how much they miss out on by judgement, prejudice, hate and fear. Bullying and discrimination do not bring peace, safety or justice, but they do put people at pause, holding back so much from the world and stealing from us all true love, prosperity and happiness. 

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

There are quite a few things that come to mind when I think about this book. First and foremost, is that I recall this is the edition I was reading (whether for the first time or reread I don’t know) when I discovered JK Rowling wasn’t a man, how I ran back to look at the book and wondered why I thought she must have been from the title, and understood why she wrote her name so as not to be identified and turn others off (oy! how nothing has changed). 

Next, while I was young at the time I do not know what I anticipated but following the events of their first year we expected Harry, Ron and Hermione to either be dealing with Voldemort again or not--and I love how we got both. While in some ways the fact that they were all included again makes no sense, but again it all does. Harry can speak Parseltongue and therefore gets more information and gets Ron and Hermione involved, Ginny comes from a family with morals and is the exact opposite of the Malfoys and Death Eaters so Lucius trying to frame them, being the coward as he is, all makes sense and while seems a bit stretched is just coincidental. As Minerva McGonagall and Ron later discuss, however, why it is always them? Must just be their fate. 

Relatedly, we continue to get depth with our main trio: Hermione, Ron and Harry and the wizarding world in general while they continue to grow. While in the previous year Hermione broke some rules, they were only in regards to emergencies (stopping Snape from getting the Sorcerer's Stone, lighting him on fire) or to stop others from breaking rules (stopping Harry from getting in trouble with the dragon). But in her second year she sees breaking the rules as more of a means to an end; even when the end isn’t as near or dire. She becomes less rule-obsessed or rigid in this sense and tries weighing the options and looking more at the big picture (both with stealing the ingredients of the Polyjuice Potion and just in making it and knocking out Crabbe and Goyle). With Ron, we learn more about who he really is as we see him interact more with his siblings, with Hermione (my uncle caught onto that one, not me) and learn about how he feels about himself overall even if we don’t realize it all in depth at the time. Finally, We also learn more about Harry and, with him, the wizarding world in general; how there is a class system, the downfalls of being a hero or celebrity, what it actually means to be a hero or role-model and many other somewhat small things that create a deeper meaning combined.

Finally, holy hell was this the novel with annoying people; see Myrtle, Dobby and Colin. While Dobby and Colin grew on me, and I believe all of us, they both just wouldn’t shut up or listen and you would cringe with Harry as he deals with all their drama. But on both, Harry changed; growing to be broken by Colin’s death in the final battle and of course Dobby, one of his best friends. Both of these characters represented innocence, kindness, friendship, truth, honesty and so many other admirable qualities before even getting to the fact that they risked their lives for others. 

Myrtle? No, just creepy; I mean she was a younger teenager at the time. Do ghosts get older? Ugh, sorry, no love there. 

Lavender Brown

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

While some may adore this holiday, others find it grotesque, so to honour both the day and the feelings everyone relates to it (both good and bad) today is the perfect day to relate and explore Lavender Brown

Lavender Brown was just so god-damn annoying. I hated her, I still hate her, rewatching and rereading I still hate her and while for some it might be because she was “between Hermione and Ron getting together”--Lavender wasn’t, Ron was; there isn’t that level of dislike for Victor Krum, because he’s not a pain in the ass. In class we saw her barely paying attention or whining (you’re learning MAGIC girl, focus!), was very overdramatic, gullible and influenced (relationship with Trelawney), didn’t trust Harry or Dumbledore about Voldemort, infatuated with Lockhart (weird, that’s what they have in common) and Trelawny, had no independce or confidence and for us who had been growing up with Hermione, Lavender was always a contrast (and a bit of a bully to Hermione) and we just saw more of what we didn’t always like about her in Year Six. With Ron she’s in that (and from what we feel would always be) someone who is having their first boyfriend/girlfriend, OMG I totally love you even though it’s only been 3 days, we’re going to get married, live happily ever after, middle school romance...but at 16/17, and incredibly one-sided. Would they have lasted forever? No, from the beginning it was clear, to those he told, that Ron was more about being in a relationship than the relationship itself (yeah, asshole move). And, while Lavender was right that there was something going on between Ron and Hermione, it wasn’t right to act on it as 1) they weren’t acting any differently than they used to and 2) no romantic relationship should replace any friendships. Yes, over time people split up, but as an ultimatum, it’s the first step of the romantic relationships quick demise (and true with friendships where one tries to rid other friendships). She was just a whiny, petty, privileged American, ugh. 

Now, what did we learn? Regardless of her judgement and attitude she joined Dumbledore’s Army and fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, reminding us that everyone has layers. She also was a great friend to Seamus and Pavarti. Who knows, maybe had Harry, Ron and Hermione not been constantly busy saving the universe they would have all been friends, or at least friendlier and found they had more in common than we thought because we know a lot about Lavender’s annoying traits and her personality, but little else because it was easier to see her more dramatic side. So, Lavender Brown, you do remind us that not everyone is the same, not everyone will get along, not everyone is going to best your very best friend but that everyone still deserves respect, understanding and compassion

Robert California

Robert’s Best Moment: Season Eight, Episode Ten: Christmas Wishes

When he doesn’t sleep with Erin.

Robert’s Worst Moment:  Season Eight, Episode Eighteen: Last Day In Florida

When he plans on firing whoever the VP is of the Sabre store.

Robert’s Best Line: Season Eight, Episode Five: Spooked

“When I was a boy, there was an empty house just up the hill from my family’s. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child.

That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud heinous hissing sound. She walked to the nursey and there in baby’s crib was a snake wrapped around baby’s neck. Squeezing tighter and tighter, the crib was full of dirt, baby struggled to free itself from underneath. Reaching and clawing, gasping for air, embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, learching toward baby-- for they were mummies.

Amongst them was a man, tall, slim-- almost instinctively she turned to her husband, “oh, wait” she thought “I don’t have a husband”. For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night they slept one inch farther apart until one-night Lydia left. It was about this time, she lost herself in imaginary worlds. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse, every time she wanted to act and didn’t another part of her face hardened until it was stone.

And that fevered night she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door “Baby are you okay?”. Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother, and said “I’m fine Bitch. I’m fine.”

Robert’s Most Memorable Moment: Season Eight, Episode One: The List

When he acts as if calling half of his subordinates losers is not a big deal; “it’s on them to prove him right or wrong”.

“The police don’t target black people,” says the white person.

“LGBTQ+ people have plenty of protection,” says the straight, cisgender person.

“Women don’t feel harassed at work,” says the man. 

“Poor people don’t need more government help,” says the rich person. 

“Immigrants feel welcome here,” says the natural-born citizen. 

Please stop invalidating the concerns of people who have problems that you’re not experiencing. Instead, listen to them, and learn what you can do to help. 

Psst, I totally get it, you're by yourself And the last thing you want to do is take a picture But seriously, my little girl loves you She's always singing, "I'm gonna pop some tags" I'm not kidding, my oldest, you even got him to go thrifting And "One Love", oh, my God, that song - brilliant Their aunt is gay, when that song came out My son told his whole class he was actually proud That's so cool, look what you're accomplishing Even an old mom like me likes it cause it's positive You're the only hip-hop that I let my kids listen to Cause you get it, all that negative stuff isn't cool Yeah, like all the guns and the drugs The bitches and the hoes and the gangs and the thugs Even the protest outside - so sad and so dumb If a cop pulls you over, it's your fault if you run Huh?

StellaLuna, Archie, and other picture books

Many "kids books" don't have pictures, many " adult books" do. While an overuse of pictures can dumb-down the story the final picture in A Picture of Dorian Gray and the pictures of some of the mountain climbers and map of Everest in Into Thin Air created emphasis and added to the story. It's important also to note that while not always, "kids books" or picture books aren't actually always just for children.

I was probably too young to read the Archie comic books when I read them, as with most things I did with my parents. But at 11 or later at night there was little else at the newsstand, that's what was available and it worked to keep me occupied at a time long before smartphones or portable DVD players. A few years later books were used again as part of a reward system: 100 books and I could get a pet. These were good moves, while there is a fine line between bribing and inspiring, in this case I was inspired with that list being one of the biggest factors into reading all the very adult books I read today, even thou most of those books were ones that I knew were kids books even then when it took me less than an hour to read some.

StellaLuna was a story about a bat, and long story short, it’s about how who you love determines your family, the harms of trying to fit into a mould and is a stuffed animal that remains on my bed to this day. So really, let's stop hating the picture books, stop thinking those that do are dumb or bland, let's just stop being book-snobs. Picture books aren't low brow, and Shakespeare isn't the holy grail.

so metropolitan museum of art has a register of books they’ve published that are out of print and that you can download for free! they’re mostly books on art, archeology, architecture, fashion and history and i just think that’s super useful and interesting so i wanted to share! you can find all of the books available here!

The Presitge

I was originally going to highlight Unbreakable (2000) today, but given the ending of the trilogy is getting released on Friday, I postponed. The Prestige (2006) will always be a film marked as one of my favorites as it’s a suspense film I can handle and I love when there is a bit of thinking and question as opposed to pure terror (see Cape Fear—the most frightening moments of the film being when literally NOTHING happens but it’s 5 straight, pure minutes of agony).

I like this film because it taps into a lot, struggling for success, secrets, devotion, mystery and it’s related suspense. While we mostly follow Angier and root for him to succeed for his redemption against Borden, we also delve a bit more into Borden and want to root for him sometimes as well. It shows and tests the very complex journey of our aspirations and what may happen when things get out of hand. The fake and true deaths of Angier and Borden show both the worst that comes in us destroying ourselves and how when we lose track of ourselves we can lead others to destroy us.

PS—plus the Borden switch—damn

Best Friendship Moments

1. Season Two, Episode Twelve: The Injury

When Pam tells “Oscar” how Dwight’s doing in the hospital so that she can discreetly pass the information to Angela who was just eavesdropping on her phone call with Jim.

What adds to this moment is that Pam went out of her way to allow Angela to continue to believe no one knew about their relationship and keep her privacy.

2. Season Two, Episode Fifteen: Boys and Girls

When Jim gets upset with Pam for not going for the Graphic Design internship in NY and telling her “You gotta take a chance on something sometime Pam” and asking if she really is ‘fine’ with her choices. While we feel it’s more related to her engagement to Roy and not just the job, in both instances it is truer friends who push you to do more and be better for yourself.

3. Season Two, Episode Eleven: Booze Cruise

When Jim tells Michael he “used” to have a thing for Pam and describes her as funny, and warm and Michael responds” BFD--engaged ain’t married. Never, ever, ever give up”.

4. Season Nine, Episode: Couple’s Discount

When Darryl tells the homophobic Nail Salon worker how Oscar and him work as a couple, grabs Oscar’s hand, and how “Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More in love than your small mind can comprehend. And we have two disposable incomes and no kids, and we’re taking our business elsewhere”.

5. Season Four, Episode Four: Money

Jim and Pam throughout the episode trying to help Dwight feel better in relation to his breakup with Angela; especially at the end when they smile to each other after Dwight uses his ruler to knocks anything of Jim’s hanging over his desk because to them it means ‘Dwight’s Back’.

Pam signing up for just about everything when staying at Beet Farms.

When she won’t help set up Andy with Angela because she doesn’t “see them together”.

Their detailed and positive but not too much review on TripAdvisor, following up with the fact that they really enjoyed their stay.

Jim goes and tries to talk to Dwight after Angela agrees to go out with Andy and tells him how he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t taste food and how it’s something “he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy” and that includes Dwight.

6. Season Three, Episode Four: Grief Counseling

When Pam and Dwight both go out of their way to prep the bird funeral; Pam creating a decorated casket out of a tissue box and Dwight playing a song on his recorder.

7. Season Three, Episode Twelve: Traveling Salesman

When Angela asks Pam to go out for a coffee so she can gush about “Noelle and Kurt” aka her and Dwight. Even if Angela was unsure if Pam knew who they were really talking about, it doesn’t matter; Angela had great personal news and she wanted to share it with Pam.  

8. Season Seven, Episode Ten: China

When Dwight “lets” Pam win in regards to the standards of the building after he overheard Pam telling Him how she felt like a failure as she failed art school, and being a salesman.

9. Season Nine, Episode Sixteen: Moving On

While driving Toby home from the doctor after getting strangled by the Scranton Strangler, she calls him brave, twice.

“You offered your neck in search of the truth. The proud neck of justice—isn’t that the expression? Well, anyway, it was—it was very brave. It really was quite brave.”

10. Season Seven, Episode Twelve: Classy Christmas, Part 2

When after Michael storms away from Holly because he’s upset that Holly would have a long-distance relationship with AJ and not with him, Holly does to follow Michael but Erin blocks her.

Good friends know when you need your space and will help and protect you to get what you need.