Hidden Feelings PB X Reader

Hidden Feelings PB x reader

WC: 2.8k

men dni, mdni!

description: you kept your feelings for the basketball player a secret in fear of rejection. you did this by simply acting like you hated her. and maybe you did develop feelings of hatred over the course of time. but when paige catches you in the act, you start to question yourself and your motives.

CW: smut, cussing

authors note: this is my first fic.. pls be nice 🙏 reblogs are always appreciated. NOT PROOFREAD. but please enjoy!

you didn’t know why you hated her so much. well, actually, you did. you just chose to ignore it to better your feelings.

its because she was so perfect. she was everything, and you couldn’t get her out of your fucking head.

you and paige became roommates when her recent roommate graduated the year before. you’ve always been attracted to her, even before she started living with you. hell, she was paige bueckers. what woman in this university doesn’t have a major crush on her? maybe it was the same things that made everyone like her, that made you so attracted to her. or maybe it was the simple things that happened around the house. the way she moved her slender fingers on the ps5 controller, or the way her shirt would ride up, showcasing her boxers and abs briefly. you couldn’t help it. but you also didn’t like it. honestly, she had never shown you attitude or hatred. you were the one that started it. you continuously felt bad, but you couldn’t bring yourself to face rejection. you were scared that she wouldn’t reciprocate the way you felt. so, you began to hate her. at first, it was an act. an act to hide your feelings from her and to feel better about yourself. but now, every little thing she does makes you angry. she pisses you off like no other, even her face makes you want to scowl. eventually, she would grow to dislike you too. i mean you were rude even when she didn’t do anything wrong. however, she couldn’t deny that you were quite attractive. despite your attitude, she always caught herself staring when you would drink the water you grabbed from the fridge, or when you would watch tv in a little tank top and shorts. but your appearance doesn’t justify your actions.

your facade began to fall apart at a party. your friends had invited you, knowing you hadn’t been out and about in a while. you decided you needed to get laid tonight. you’ve been pent up and lost in your thoughts recently, and tonight would be the perfect night to be relieved. you put on a tight black dress, picking your favorite jewelry and leaving your dorm. luckily, paige was nowhere to be seen. you didn’t want her asking questions.

when you got there, it wasn’t terribly loud, but it wasn’t quiet. just the way you like it. you could actually hear the music. you met your friends, sitting near them and getting to talk for a little bit. afterwards you grabbed a drink, standing by the counter. after a minute or two you could feel someone’s presence behind you. you put the drink down, looking back. paige bueckers. you scoff, your face now turned to one of disbelief.

“what are you doing here?” she asked you. she stood over you, seeming tense and alarmed but calm at the same time. you couldn’t read the expression on her face.

you roll your eyes, turning back to your drink. as you fixed up the area, you spoke.

“fuck off, paige. i didn’t know you were here. if i did i probably would have skipped.” you knew you were being rude, but she agitates you. regardless, you couldn’t look her in the eye and speak to her in such a manner.

for a moment, you wait for her to respond. when you dont hear anything, you turn back. huh, she already walked away. you realize she left because another girl had caught her attention. she was talking with her, obviously flirting. despite being like twenty feet away from them, you felt like you were watching this unfold directly in front of your face. like a show only meant for you to see. you were jealous. as much as you hated to admit it, you couldn’t help it. you finished your drink, walking away. you couldn’t stare at the two women any longer. while you headed to the living room, one of your friends caught you. she started up a casual conversation, keeping it light before changing the subject.

“hey.. can i tell you something?” she looked at you, and then glanced away from your direction.

your eyebrows furrowed, face flickering with unease momentarily. but you quickly let your face return to a relaxed expression.

“yeah, what is it?”

she finally looked into your eyes, taking a sip of her drink.

“you know, i think your feelings for paige are obvious. all of us see it. the whole friend group. even some of her teammates. you just act so rude, and it obviously upsets her.”

your eyes widened. the fuck?

“i don’t have feelings for paige. is it not obvious that i hate her?”

she shook her head, sighing but then smirking.

“you need to figure something out. it’s honestly funny, how much you try to deny it. even when everyone knows.”

you scoffed, fixing your hair confidently before speaking.

“you don’t know anything.”

after that, you walked away. you found your way to a corner in the living room, sitting in an armchair. you debated for the next five minutes if you should just go home. it wasn’t even worth getting laid anymore. you were no longer in the mood. along with the debate, your thoughts lingered with what your friend said. you don’t have feelings for paige. you just think she’s kinda hot. yeah. kind of. its totally not like you’ve touched yourself to the thought of her, even imagining her between your legs.

despite how you feel about her, you wonder how she feels about you. your friend mentioned that your attitude upsets her. does it really? you figure you should at least try being nicer, even if that contradicts how you’ve been acting towards her all this time.

when it gets late enough and you’ve got a few drinks in your system, you go home and get ready for bed. you’re grabbing a glass of water, freshly out of a shower when you hear the door open. paige is home. she steps in, locking the door behind her, and she glances at you, and you decide to not be a bitch for once. you take a sip of your drink, facing away from the fridge and placing your glass on the counter. then, you spoke up.

“hi.” it was short and blunt, not mean, but also not kind.

“hey…” she answered, walking towards the kitchen as well. she stepped behind you, grabbing a glass and pouring some milk in it. then she walked around the counter, leaning over the opposite side and facing you. you looked at her for a solid minute, admiring the way her hair was slightly frizzy and the way she looked at you. maybe you didn’t hate her.

suddenly, you’re reminded of the party. you had been trying to get laid, but lost all interest the second you saw paige flirting with that girl. and the second you realized other people think you really do like her. maybe, just maybe, you have the slightest amount of feelings for paige. but after today, you won’t acknowledge them.

neither of you speak a word. it’s not necessarily awkward, but the air is charged with a vibe you can’t quite put a label on. deciding you weren’t going to sit here any longer, you grabbed your glass of water, heading to your room.

paige didn’t know what to make out of all of this. it was obvious you didn’t like her. you made it very clear, ever since the beginning. but then you have these moments with her, these moments that make her feel like you might not absolutely despise her. these moments that make her feel like you want her. and maybe she wants you too, but she doesn’t tolerate disrespect. she hasn’t spoken to her team members about it, but she knows they all think the same thing. what exactly do they think? paige doesn’t know. they don’t speak to her about it, knowing they’ll just be shut down on the topic.

she was started to go crazy.

she couldn’t tell if you hated her guts or wanted her to rearrange your guts.

and honestly, she was still trying to figure out if she really hated you too.

as always, you wonder how you ended up here. legs spread on your bed, fingers rubbing slow circles onto your cunt as you let out soft pants. your lights were dimmed, thoughts full of the tall athletic blonde who lives across the hallway. you hate her. but she won’t get out of your head. you need it to stop, need this to stop. you can’t keep fantasizing about her while you touch yourself, wishing it was her fingers instead of your own. but she’s the only thing that gets you off. you’ve always been terrible at touching yourself. you don’t usually make yourself tip over the edge. but recently you’ve discovered that paige fucking bueckers is the solution to all of your issues. you think about her eating you out, her wet muscle sinking into your hole, and you find the ability to make yourself cum. you figure that’s how you ended up here. paige stayed late at the gym after losing a game. you texted her asking when she’d be home since you were “ordering food.” she told you to forget it since she’d be gone for a while. so you took advantage of the empty dorm.

currently, your eyes are squeezed shut as your fingers plunge into your sopping cunt. you cry out, curling them to hit the spongy area of your walls. you moan shamelessly, seeing as how nobody is home. well at least that’s what you thought. you moan her name, gasping as you feel the familiar knot tie up in your lower stomach. sweat drops gather on your forehead and in between your tits, showing how hard you work just to relieve yourself. you’re so deep into imagining paige fucking you that you don’t hear the front door open. and apparently,

you also miss your bedroom door opening as well. its quite, almost like she means to silently stand and watch the way you fuck yourself. she leans on the doorframe, arms crossed as she observes. when you moan out her name multiple times, her tongue swipes across her bottom lip. eventually, you reach your climax, back arching off of the bed as you gasp and writhe. you bring yourself down from the high, wincing as you slide your fingers out of yourself. you rest them on your bare stomach, ignoring the juices and wetness coating them. your eyes are still shut as you lie there. although your serenity ends shortly.

“so you don’t hate me, huh?”

you recognize the voice, immediately sitting up and clamping your legs shut. your eyes trail to the doorway, spotting the blonde standing there. a red hot blush makes its way to your cheeks, and you’re speechless. she looks over to you. her jaw is clenched, eyes filled with a fire you only see when shes on the court. you honestly do not know what to say.

“paige…” you breathlessly mutter, trying to find words to explain what you’ve just been caught doing. she uncrosses her arms, stepping closer to the edge of the bed. and then she opens her mouth to speak. however, your words reach her ears before she lets her own into the air.

“its not what it looks like.” you tried to reason with her. but it was more like you were reasoning with yourself. you had just been caught touching yourself to someone you swore you hated for last 6 months. what do you do with yourself now?

“its not what it looks like? right. as if you weren’t just moaning out my name while fucking yourself.” you avoid her gaze, not ready to face her. theres a moment of silence, but she continues speaking.

“you’re pathetic.”

“what?” is all you can make out as you finally connect eyes. you’re face has now contorted to shock and the slightest hint of arousal.

“you heard me.” she speaks tensely, almost like she’s fighting to say too many words at once. like she’s talking through clenched teeth.

“you can’t handle the fact that you’re attracted to me. so instead of being honest, you just decide to hate me? huh? answer.”

“i’m sorry.” it almost seems like when you say it, it’s a question. like you don’t know what else to say. your breath catches in your throat, and you wait for her to say something. she scoffs, stepping to the front of your bed. she leans against the footboard. her jaw clenches, arms crossing as she stares at you. she checks you out, still angry, but how could she ignore your naked body right in front of her?

“don’t be. i’m just a little shocked. you know, this isn’t exactly what i planned on coming home to.”

“what are you doing here? i thought…” your words trailed off. yes. you thought you could have some peace to fantasize while she was off working hard because of a lost game.

“i tried to stay late, but they locked up the gym early. i thought i deserved some time to think, so i just came back home.” you don’t speak after those words leave her mouth. you’re still filled with arousal and embarrassment. theres a moment of silence before she motions to you, talking again.

“well don’t be shy, please continue. i want to see this.” your eyes widen, debating if she’s being serious or not. when she raises an eyebrow, you figure she’s not kidding around. you’re too horny to ignore her, and she literally said she wanted to watch. what’s the worst that could happen?

so, you slowly spread your legs, putting a show on for paige. her eyes trail downwards, staring at your tits before making their way to your core. you watch her closely as her tongue swipes across her bottom lip, your fingers slowly moving to toy with your clit. you rub slow, deliberate circles, small pants leaving your throat.

“fuck.. so pretty. such a slut for me, hm?” she groans, watching intently as she stands up straight. her breathing turns hallow, expecting more from you. her words and tone make you gush, and you use the extra wetness to slide two fingers into your beat hole. you’ve been going at it for a while, trying to get yourself off. you let out a soft whine, watching paige watch your fingers sink into yourself. you begin to pick up the pace, your chest slightly heaving as you let out soft moans. when you twist and scissor your fingers inside of you, you feel your stomach begin to tighten in knots. you whine and cry out, curling your digits to hit that spot inside of you. you kept going relentlessly, trying to cum, but you sat right at the edge. you couldn’t find the strength to push yourself over, even when paige was standing right there and watching you with desire written all over her face. you decide to plead for some help, thinking she might relieve you.

while your fingers dive and curl inside of you, you whine out.

“paige.. i.. i can’t. please, need to cum so bad.” you babble, hoping your words will convince her to touch you. you watch her closely before her eyes finally pull away from your body and connect with your own.

“no.” it took you a moment to realize what she had said. so… she wasn’t going to help you? why is she standing there then. what does she want. maybe she’s just getting revenge. i mean… you can see the anger and frustration in her eyes, adding to the desire in her blue irises. then, she spoke again. your fingers slightly slowed, eventually coming to a stop as you panted.

“you can fuck yourself. i’m not touching you.” she stood her ground, speaking harshly with a hint of arousal laced in her words.

“what..? paige.. please. please, i’m sorry.”

you plead for her to hear you out, accept your apologies. but she couldn’t care less.

“good luck with that.” the words were flat, but almost like she was holding back. she sucked in a breath, making her way to the door, and walked out. you sat there confused, needy, and angry. you give up, deciding you will literally never get off tonight. you’ve become too bothered to do so. you clean yourself up, wondering what the fuck to do next.

you weren’t sure what was going to go down between you two after that moment. all you knew was that it wasn’t going to be easy, and you had a lot of explaining to do.

Wicked Games

PB x reader

WC: 4.5k

CW: angst (i guess), cussing, smut (at the end), alcohol consumption

men dni, mdni

description: when you fall in love with paige bueckers, you try to downplay it. you know, to protect the casual situationship you two have going on. but when you can no longer deny your feelings, things get a bit chaotic.

authors note: hey guys… so this was mostly based on wicked games up until the end! and then i got carried away 😛 anyway this is lowkey lacking detail and dialogue but its ok. enjoy 🙏

the truth is, you could never say no to paige.

you had met her when you ran into her at a bar. you were drunk, and randomly decided to go up to her since you had recognized the basketball player from your school. she took you home that night, gave you her number. how could you resist her? she was hot, and not to mention she was uconn’s golden girl.

after that night, the two of you got to know each other better. but not well enough to be considered “talking.” she told you she wanted to keep it casual. nothing too serious, seeing as to how she was a famous wbb player and she wasn’t quite ready for a relationship. you were fine with that. after all, you didn’t want anything serious either.

but did it stay casual when you started falling in love?

you tried to ignore it, you really did. it all started when she would let you stay the night without hooking up. you would talk, eat, hang out, and do whatever else kept you two busy. you became friends. friends with benefits. slowly but surely, you found yourself growing closer to her. emotionally and physically. she didn’t notice. she thought it was truly casual. she was fine with you being with others, because it never made her jealous. after all, she didn’t have feelings for you. she just thought you were attractive, and she could benefit from keeping you close.

close, but not close enough to make anything serious.

currently, you were next to her, awake. she was sleeping, breathing softly as the sun reflected off of her blonde hair. she was beautiful. you watched her silently before you slid out of the bed. you left the room quietly, avoiding waking her up as you walked to the kitchen. you made a glass of water, letting the cool liquid run down your throat to fully wake yourself up. this is how you began your average morning routine. things have been going like this with paige lately. you wake up early, shower, and you most likely make her food. then when she wakes up, you greet her before slipping out of her dorm.

after that, you spent the day withering away, thinking about why you felt so empty.

paige doesn’t know what you’ve been going through.

you’ve stopped seeing everyone else. now, you only see paige. she doesn’t know this. she doesn’t even know that you have any type of feelings for her. as far as she’s concerned, you’re living your best life. your friends say you’re seeing other people, going to parties, and living free. she sees your instagram posts. you in those dresses, drinking and having fun. but those posts were only half true.

you were drinking. not to have fun, but to drown out the feelings burrowed deep inside of you. you lied to your friends, and you lied to paige. you had to end this. you had to move on and get over her. all situationships end the same, and you should have known that this “casual” thing going with paige wouldn’t have been any different. so, you decided that from now on you would have to avoid her. you didn’t text her, and to your surprise, she didn’t text you. that made you feel better. you knew that if she ever did show up, you wouldn’t be able to resist her. so being alone was exactly what you needed. it felt nice knowing you didn’t have to wait by your phone assuming a text would come in. but you still missed her, and you silently wished she would reach out.

for the next few weeks, you cried, drank, and ignored paige. neither of you talked. she hadn’t texted you, and you hadn’t messaged her either. but it wasn’t the no contact that made you hurt worse. it was the small things that happened around campus. you would see her in the hallways, catching eyes with her for a brief second before she looked away and resumed her daily routines. you figured you meant nothing to her. and that made you think you were over dramatic with the way you were feeling.

it didn’t seem reasonable. getting drunk over a dumb crush. but it wasn’t a dumb crush. you were in love. and drinking was how you solved most of your issues before they went away.

you lived mostly the same for the next few months. you tried to work on your schoolwork to distract yourself, even though it didn’t help. you have no idea how paige is doing. you don’t know her thoughts. god, you wish you did. but you don’t. and you’re forced to deal with it.

paige figured you had gotten tired of her, and that was why you became distant. she was upset, of course. she thought you two were close, and she thought she could trust you. but after you disappeared, she decided to give up. it wasn’t worth chasing you if you didn’t want her. paige went on anyway. she saw her other flings. yet every single time, she had this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that none of them were you. that none of them could do it like you did. she ignored it, telling herself that it was just her getting over you. telling herself the feeling was just filling the space you had left in her life. you weren’t that important. it was just a casual friendship.

if it was so casual, why does she feel like she can’t go without you?

she can. she knows she can. but she wants to see you again. she wants you in the palm of her hand, for her to control. she hates not feeling in control, not feeling like she knows whats going to happen before it actually occurs. because that takes away her power. it takes away her ability to predict things. you were becoming unpredictable. disappearing and ghosting her? it was unlike you, and she hated that. she decided that she needed things to go back to normal. no, she wasn’t ready for a relationship. but she wanted to feel stable. and you used to be the most stable thing in her life besides basketball. she commonly saw you and you two would hang out. for months this went on. she needed you back, even if you were tired of her and hated her. she knew you couldn’t resist her because you never have been able to. she was going to get you back.

luckily for her, it’s a small town.

you went to a local bar. mainly because you were invited, but also because it gave you a chance to focus on something other than paige and the stress of school. you were sitting at the bar, waiting for another shot as you talked and laughed with a few friends. for once, you felt good about yourself. you weren’t thinking about paige and the stress of your school work had now lightened. you were just having some light hearted fun, away from the outside world. however, the universe seemed to hate you. just when you were letting loose, you spotted a few uconn wbb players by the entrance. your smile slowly faded after you spotted a certain blonde.

this cannot be happening.

you looked away, deciding to just ignore her. even though you could feel her burning stare crawl up your spine. you kept talking with your friends, drinking more and more as the night went on.

it wasn’t long before you ended up drunk.

you stumbled around the bar, ending up outside as you sat on the steps. you needed a break from the chaos. but as soon as the door opened, you realized the chaos had followed you. the blonde walked slowly towards you before lowering herself on the steps next to you. she glanced at you, before looking up at the stars. she was also clearly tipsy. not as drunk as you were, but it still gave her more motive.

“so…” you heard her speak. she was trying to start up a conversation. why? you ghosted her. why would she want to keep talking to you? obviously she didn’t get the memo.

“what do you want, paige? you didn’t say it rudely. it sounded as if you genuinely wanted to know why she approached you. and you did.

you heard her sigh, and then she glanced at you.

“i wanted to talk to you. you know, we haven’t done much talking in the past few months.”

you feel bad for ghosting her. but it was what you had to do. you couldn’t let go of your feelings for her. they ran deep. too deep. after all, why would you get blackout drunk often trying to drown out your thoughts if it was a small crush? no. it wasn’t just a crush. you were in love with her. and you knew you had to get away before she broke your heart.

“im sorry.” was all you could make out. you weren’t going to bring it up. however, if she asked, you figured you would just be honest. if it went badly you could just pass it by as drunken words.

paige watched the parking lot, examining the few people littered around.

“why? i mean its fine. you can do what you want. but at least tell me why.” she seemed genuine, like she was curious to know why you had disappeared. and it was reasonable. she deserved to know.

“because paige. i had to get away from you. you said you wanted things to be casual without feelings, so im doing you a favor by not complicating things.”

it was almost like she put her guard up at your words. why was she getting defensive? it shouldn’t matter to her.

her body tensed and her eyes flickered with a hint of anger.

“not complicating things? you complicated things by just disappearing. we were fine, and we would’ve been fine if you didn’t leave. god you just— you don’t make any sense.” she looked at you while she spoke. as always, when she’s trying to state her case, she speaks with her hands. she’s always done that. in basketball and in her day to day life.

“paige, i have feelings for you.” you muster up the courage to say it, and your drunken state causes it to slip out a bit unexpected. you can basically hear her freeze, and of course she didn’t respond. taking in her silence, you start to pour your feelings out. it’s been too long without an explanation. being drunk and emotionally confused is not a good mix. you start to talk again before she can even open her mouth.

“you’re so confusing! you know that right? this is all your fault. you look at me like you love me, and you hold me like im the only thing that matters to you. and then you just dump it all away, pretending like it meant nothing. maybe it didn’t mean anything to you paige. but it means everything to me. its your fault i fell in love. at least be happy im distancing myself. please, don’t make this any harder for me and just leave me alone.”

paige basically gawked at you. you didn’t look at her, afraid you might break if you did. she turned away, slowly standing up and walking back inside.

wow.

no. you told her to leave, you can’t be angry.

that’s what you told yourself. and yet you were still so pissed that she left. now you know how she really feels. although its obvious she doesn’t care about you, she’s really just scared of the truth. she’s complicated, and when things get too hard for her, she runs. thats why she likes stability and casual flings.

she didn’t care about you, is what she told herself. but if she really didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

paige waddled back inside, baffled. part of her was glad you told her. and then another part of her felt broken. upset. why did it hurt so bad to leave you? its too late now, you want nothing to do with her. she respects you for telling her and distancing yourself mainly to protect her wishes. she should be happy, and yet she’s not. she’s undeniably discouraged. as the night went on, she couldn’t enjoy herself. she needed a distraction, so she went to the bar to find some pretty girl to start something up with.

this is what paige did when she didn’t know what else to do. she found another girl. after all, she could have however many she wanted. she’s paige bueckers.

despite how many women she’s spoken to over the past few months, she can’t help but compare them to you. none of them could beat you even if they gave all they could. she didn’t understand why you were so good. she didn’t understand why you knew exactly what to say, or why you always made her feel so loved and important.

but it makes sense now. you love her. of course you’d treat her like that. what’s even worse is that she retaliated against those actions with actions very similar. but she didn’t love you, right? no. she didn’t. she was just confused. she’s tipsy, and she needs to distract herself for a little bit to calm down. then she can really figure her shit out.

surprisingly, things weren’t so bad after that night. you were still getting over it, but at least you weren’t behind on school work or getting drunk almost every day. you were stable, and you felt like you might finally be able to heal. however, emotions were still raw.

every time you pass one of her teammates in the hallway, they looked at you almost with pity. like they know things about the situation that you don’t. but they never spoke up, so you just ignored it. you were in a good place. you didn’t want anything to mess up your progress, and you believed nothing would.

that was until you saw the name light your phone screen up.

paige.

what does she want? you had settled things. at least for the most part. you considered not answering. but that little sliver of hope inside of you made you pick up the phone. to you, it was worth it. even if she ended up hurting you, the fact that there was hope made it worth the risk.

you were sitting on the couch in your dorm, relaxing before you pulled the phone to you ear.

“paige?”

you heard her lightly breathing on the other side of the phone. she waited a second to talk. when she finally did, her voice was shaky. it almost sounded as if she had been crying.

“i’m sorry. can we talk? we need to talk.”

you were worried. she sounded upset. and it had to be important if she came to you about it.

“paige? talk to me. i’m literally on the phone with you.” you waited for her to keep speaking. there was a long pause before her words started flowing out.

“look, i should have never went back inside that night. i’m sorry. I’ve felt like shit recently. i’ve been playing like shit too. we lost our last game and it’s all because of me. all because i can’t stop fucking thinking about you. i know i didn’t say anything that night so i’m going to say it now. even if it changes things, and even if you’re mad at me. i think i have some feelings for you. i honestly don’t know. i try to act normal and act like you not being with me doesn’t bother me. but it does. it bothers me so much and i hate it. i can’t see another girl without thinking about you.”

she took a breath, and just when you were about to speak she cut you off.

“i dont know why its so serious for me, its not like i’ve felt this way before. because i haven’t. nobody makes me feel the way i do when i’m with you. and i didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you were gone. it was all good until you left.” she paused, continuing—

“tell me it isn’t too late. tell me i can be with you.”

she stops talking finally, and you can feel your eyes burning. can you trust her? what the hell is going on.

this was so random. you haven’t spoken since that night at the bar, and now she just randomly decides to call you and confess?

“paige.. are you serious? this is so odd. you’ve always said you wanted something casual and what-not. neither of us are ready for relationships and you know it. so why?”

you hated to face the truth, but you knew what was going to end up happening.

“baby i know we aren’t ready. but we can still try, right? things will be rocky, but we’ll be with each other. please. i love you.” the pet name and those three words at the end make your chest tighten. tears slowly fall from your eyes, and you wipe them up. you don’t sniffle, you just stay silent. was it worth a try? could you guys really figure this out? you decided you wanted to see if she meant it.

“okay.” you say quietly over the phone. you were willing to try.

“okay? okay. yeah.” she speaks almost relieved. you were glad she came to you with this, even if it wasn’t in person.

“so what now?” you ask, not really knowing what else to say.

“im on my way to your dorm.” she said, clearly moving around. she didn’t give you a chance to reply, she just hung up. you sat up quickly. if she’s really on her way then she should be here in like five minutes.

or less, because just a bit later you already heard knocking on your door. you swallowed a gulp in your throat, before you stood and slowly walked to the door. you opened it, and paige stood there. wide eyed and panting, she looked at you.

“paige, what are you doing here.” you tried to sound firm but the words came out as weak anyway. you couldn’t help it. something about this entire situation made you vulnerable. it made her vulnerable. and emotions were raw. she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. then, she faced you and placed her hands on your cheeks.

“please.. i need you. im tired of acting like i don’t.”

with that, she pulled your face in. the first kiss was sweet, but it definitely felt like she was holding back. it was more like a trial peck to see what she could get away with. and then she packed on the next one. it was deep and hungry, her hands sinking into your hair while you gripped at her shirt. she groaned into your mouth, giving you an opening to slide your tongue in. your cheeks flushed as she tugged softly at your hair. it was almost like you two were fighting for dominance. but when she bit your bottom lip and then swiped her tongue over the dent, you knew you were in for it. she pulled away, a string of saliva attached to your lips while the two of you caught your breath.

“paige. it’s too soon, we should give it a little bit so we can talk and calm down.” you spoke out of breath, silently hoping she would turn you down. even though the reasonable resolution would be to stop and talk.

“fuck, i can’t. i’ve missed you too much. we can talk later.” she sounded like she knew it was wrong. like she knew you should stop, and that you should talk to each other before indulging in something further.

but you know neither of you were going to stop. it was so sudden, and you had missed each other for so long that you just felt like you needed it.

she let go of your hair, grabbing your wrist and tugging you to your room. you’re lucky your roommate is out for the night. she closes the bedroom door behind you, immediately pulling her hoodie off along with her shirt. you bit your lip, seeing her in just a black sports bra and low hanging sweats. she moved towards you again, pushing you softly down onto the bed and having you back up to the headboard. she took her sweatpants off, following you and hovering above you. in a flash, she had maneuvered you to sit on top of her. you were whipped around, trying to balance yourself. you straddled her, your hands resting on her chest. her hands gripped your thighs hard as she watched how they formed underneath her hands. she silently admired you for just a moment before beginning to strip you.

you loved the way she looked at you.

before, it felt meaningless. like it was just a look in her eyes.

but now, it made sense. you felt appreciated, and somewhat loved. exactly the way you made her feel.

and you were eating it up.

she pushes your shirt up, licking her lips as you pull it off and throw it along with the rest of the clothes along the floor.

“i missed you…” she spoke quietly while panting. she slightly sat up so she could be closer to you. you rested your arms on her shoulders, leaning in close.

“i missed you too.” you spoke against her lips, before pressing another slow kiss on them. she tugged at your shorts through the kiss, and you moved around a bit to help her get them off. she ripped off your underwear with them, too lazy to take it off separately. when everything was gone and thrown around the room, you were left in your bra. she broke the kiss, her hands roaming around your body.

“fuck, you’re so pretty.” her hands reached around to your back, unclipping the bra and throwing it away. her hands immediately came up to grope your tits, squeezing and massaging them. her hands were large, completely covering them. your head threw back slightly. you let out a few whimpers, and her mouth came down to attach to the hardened peaks in the middle. you let out a soft moan, your nails digging into her shoulders. you brought your head up, connecting eyes with her. her eyes were glossy, and she looked needy.

god, you could stare at her for hours. you couldn’t say just how many times you’ve imagined her like this.

her right hand sunk down to your core, circling your clit slowly. you whined, your forehead now resting on her left shoulder.

“soaked for me, huh?” you nodded quickly, pressing quick kisses against her neck. you sucked, leaving marks solely to distract yourself. her left hand squeezed your ass, and you heard her let out a soft whine due to your mouth on her neck.

you felt her fingers sliding through your slit. gasping, you grind yourself onto her hands.

you were tired of waiting.

after all, you haven’t seen anybody else ever since you started avoiding paige. and touching yourself was never the same. nobody could do it like her anyway. you knew nobody could fuck you the way she did.

and paige felt the same way. every girl she saw, even the ones she actually had sex with; none of them were like you. she tried to resist it, but after a while, she couldn’t take it anymore. she had to have you. even if it would change your “friendship” completely. even if it would complicate things and confuse the both of you emotionally. she was willing to try for you.

she sunk two fingers into your cunt, and you squeezed around her. you relaxed into her touch, moaning out her name.

it’s been so long. maybe too long.

“baby you’re tight. nobody fucked you since me?” she spoke in a low tone, smirking like she knew exactly what she was doing to you. and she did.

you shook your head, blabbering your words out while she pumped into you.

“no… no paige. nobody does it like you.” you whined almost pathetically, biting your lip. moving your hips against her hand, you let out borderline pornographic moans when her fingers curled. she hit that spot inside of you easily, just like how she used to.

she kept increasing her pace, and you brought your head up to rest your forehead against hers. you moaned and gasped right in front of her, making sure she heard every noise. making sure she heard the way she made you feel.

your slick was basically dripping off of her hand at this point. and god, she loved it. every once in a while she would glance down just to watch her glistening fingers disappear between your legs over and over again.

she began to allow the palm of her hand hit your clit, even rubbing small circles on it when she curled her fingers relentlessly. she kept going, not giving up despite the cramp that rose in her forearm. she was focused on your face twisted in pleasure, and her name that seemed to leave your mouth multiple times.

eventually, the familiar but yet missed coil in your stomach began to form. she took her left hand and pressed on your lower stomach, causing you to let out a guttural moan. she knew when you were close. she could always tell.

“paige… fuck. gonna cum, please don’t stop” you whined and blabbered, shutting your eyes tightly while you chased your orgasm. your moans continuously got higher pitched as you neared the edge. she smirked, looking up at you as you shook against her hand.

“yeah? go on baby. wanna feel you on my fingers.”

immediately at her words you found yourself releasing, clutching her wrist with one hand and digging marks into her shoulder with the other. you felt the pleasure rock you from your core and up your spine. you let out loud moans, her name slipping out in between as a gasp. she slowed her pace, but she didn’t stop until you were pulling yourself up off of her lap.

her face was smug, and she was definitely proud of herself.

you plopped down next to her, your body clad with sweat and your thighs wet with your slick. she didn’t bother wiping off her fingers, instead she brought them up to her mouth and licked them right clean.

after you slowly came down and came back to reality, all of the emotions came rushing in.

you were confused, happy, horny, and yet still somehow upset.

things were still fresh. she had just up and confessed her love, and here you were.

the two of you still had a lot of things to figure out. but for now, you let her clean you up and pamper you with make-up kisses.