jjlotz

Latest Posts by jjlotz

Tell me why I saw someone say under that new picture of Paige in Sephora “what’s she doing in there” and “if she’s in Sephora you know Azzi dragged her in there”.

She’s a fucking girl.

😭😭😭 i think a lotta people think paige is more masc than she is like she wears makeup y’all

Can you make sedona x reader?

no but i can jump off a building

omg

projectile cumming

separation anxiety is scared of them atp 😭

WHAT THE FUCK HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH

paige made SURE that caption was visible too (popped out means going public with a relationship)

this means so much to me

yall azzi is in dallas… what does this mean

spotted: paige bueckers no. 1 fans cant contain their excitement

yup. you know what i've had enough. i am unwell.

paige madison don't do this to me. 🫠

and the crowd…the crowd is clapping?? THE CROWD IS CLAPPING 👏👏👏👏👏

UCONN GOT THE NATTY

SARAHS SO GOATEDDDDDD

juju take my knee fr i’m not even playin 😔

in new york with it

can q please transfer im tired

YALL AZZI IS STAYING ANOTHER YEAR.

mississippi cheerleaders do not need to be laughing at juju while shes on the ground screaming in pain… that just pissed me off 😐

╾──╼۪࣭࣪꧇ꦿ۫⃟✿⃟۫ꦿ꧇۪࣭࣪╾──╼

So juju officially has torn her acl 😀

I blame Jayden Daniel’s, I’m gonna lose my mind

my heart dropped to my ass when i saw her face after she fell 🙁

juju oh my god im sobbing

juju tore her fucking acl. shoot me.

i mean period

PLS is that Juju at the end saying “bruh I hate UCLA like” 😭😭

I mean we been knew but still

we are an ocean

did anyone listen to her speech😭 lindsay gottlieb is notttt real bro, give juju the mic

right bc 103-34 is insane

a 69 pt blowout is what happens when you stuff the away team into a glorified broom closet😭😭

HELPPP THE EXACT FACE I MADE WHILE WATCHING THIS

WE ARE AN OCEAN

“i feel like i’m in a staring contest with juju right now—“

“you’re gonna lose” LMAOAOAO HELPP

ive been busy guys but i might drop something over the weekend. stick around !!

YESSS

something about you / juju watkins x fem!reader PART OF THE $$$4U COLLECTION ‘ i’m tryna do something explicit. you askin me what i like about you, girl how long you wanna sit in this kitchen? ’

summary a few substances and some conversation has juju realizing that no time apart is gonna stop her from wanting you. warnings sexual content, smoking, fingering from lena “in the morning” yeah yeah i’m a liar we already knew that next 🙄🙄 here’s the first post of my lil collection and my first juju fic because y’all alr know… that’s my lil shit.

The chime of the bell is what causes your attention to shift from your spot behind the counter. You’ve been working at the smoothie bar on campus for quite some time now, any chance to get more money in your pocket and your roommates off your back.

It was a slow day today, luckily for you, the wind of southern California kept majority of your peers bundled up and in their own dorms rather than the commons or in the store.

Until now.

You’re cleaning the counter top, paying attention to every crumb that lands on the floor that you’ll have to sweep— when you see her.

It was hard not to recognize her, the typical baggy jeans and graphic hoodie, her Nike dunks thudding across the floor as she walks in, and a slicked back bun, different than her everyday game bun. Anyone on campus would be able to see her and point her out, the Juju Watkins.

But you recognize her for other reasons, as the only person in the world who knew you like no one else did.

You haven’t seen Juju in a few weeks, all thanks to her efforts in bringing home a national championship. But still, even through all that, she never once made you feel left to the side. You were involved in every moment of her life— texts, calls, FaceTimes— Juju made an effort to show you that she really did like you. That she cared.

She walks towards the counter, one hand gripping her wallet and the other tucked into her pocket.

“What’s up, baby?” She smiles, and it makes you smile at how her eyes scrunch together. Juju’s perfume travels over the expanse of the counter and to your nose, smelling just as good as you remember she did.

“What are you doing here, Ju?” You ask. It takes everything in your body to hide the blush growing on your face. By second nature, you start ringing her up for her smoothie— mango and peach with extra vanilla protein.

She shrugs, digging in her wallet for her card. “We ain’t linked up in a minute. I gotta pay my girl a visit, y’know?”

You nod, watching the way the girl never takes her eyes off you, even as she pays for her smoothie. Her card lazily held in the tips of her fingers. “Your girl?”

“Stop playing.” Juju shakes her head.

“Judea. You just tipped me 20 for a six dollar drink.” You groan. She was never shy to make a show of how much she liked you, even if you made it clear that money wasn’t the way to do that. It seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, though.

The only lights left in the store are the ones low ones over the tables and the white light over the blenders, dim, but just enough for you to see the red haze over her eyes. “Maybe it’ll make you work faster so we can get outta here. I just wanna see you tonight.” Juju explains.

“I’m closing tonight, love.”

“Okay? When you finish?” She questions. You ignore her briefly, enough to turn your back and start on the athlete’s smoothie.

It gave Juju the opportunity to run her eyes over you. You wear black leggings that hug the curve of your ass perfectly. Your uniform shirt is cropped just enough to give her a view of your lower back. The bright lime green of your apron is nearly blinding, but also looks beautiful on your skin. She can’t seem to take her eyes off you.

“I get off in 30!” You yell over the sound of the blender, looking over your shoulder to see that nothing you said has registered in her head. “Ju?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. You said what, mama?” Juju blots her lips together, glossy and slightly rosy. They look plump and a part of you wants to jump over the counter and kiss them until all the breath in your lungs gives out.

Her eyes meet yours, and just by the look in them you know she’s not lying about wanting to see you. It’s something, almost a sparkle, that you haven’t seen in so long. She wants you.

“I get off in 30.” You repeat, handing the girl her drink.

“I’ll wait right here then.”

You cradle Deuce in your arms, the dog being quite happy to see you in Juju’s apartment again. Her hoodie is long gone, tossed somewhere on the couch which leaves her in a cropped shirt that puts her abs on display.

The seat of her kitchen counter gives her only a few inches over you as you both talk. That seemed to be what you guys did often, picking each other’s brains apart for any and everything.

“How’s school goin’?” Juju asks in between puffs of smoke. The joint rests lazily in her fingers, teasing her bottom lip. Her eyes are already low, raking over you like you were candy. And the slope of her lashes was not helping you keep your cool.

That’s how it always seemed to be with Juju, she could do nothing— but also doo too much— and you still be completely enamored with her.

“It’s alright. Stressful, but s’nothin’ I can’t handle.” You nod, darting your eyes to the joint she passes off to you. “And you? Though I doubt you’re even focused with all this basketball shit.”

You take a puff, the drug swirling through your lungs and messing with your head before you breathe it out. The slight haze traveling through the yellow light of the kitchen.

“What? I’m focused. Sometimes.” She hums and you let out a laugh.

For as long as you’ve known the athlete she’d claim that school comes first, and then as the season continues it becomes pushed to the back burner. She had one goal— or really two— win a natty, and get the girl. You.

“Just sometimes?”

“Why else do you think I play worse when I see you? You’re the distraction, mama.” Blushed. You’re blushed fucking red. And Juju can’t help but smirk at it, she finds you adorable.

Deuce fights in your arms, and you make quick work of setting him on the floor. “Can I ask you something?” You question her, passing over the joint back.

“Of course.”

Your tongue tingles at the thought of the words about to come out of your mouth. You and Juju liked each other, that was clear— but what wasn’t was why things were still kept under wraps. Why she never asked you out officially and honestly why you didn’t do the same.

“What do you like about me, Ju? ‘Cause you keep sayin’ you do, but we’re not moving anywhere.” You trail off, feeling a little small under all six feet and two inches of her.

She ashes the joint, crossing her arms over her chest before making her way over to you. The tension is thick, almost too thick to even focus on anything other than the warmth that spreads through your body.

“How long do you wanna sit here, baby? I could talk about you for hours. It’s just… something about you, got me hooked from the minute I met you.” She explains. You look at how she plays with her fingers, almost like she was nervous. But you know her, Juju doesn’t get nervous. Especially with you.

“I-I dunno, I just feel like—”

“You don’t think I want you?” She wonders. Juju trails closer, hands pressing to the counter on each side of your thighs. “‘Cause I do. I could show you?”

Don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it. The words repeat in your head over and over again. But she’s standing here, smelling like lavender and something else that’s distinctly Juju Watkins. Her eyes are serious, telling you that everything she’s said isn’t a lie. And then you’re thinking about how long it’s been since you’ve even kissed her, weeks, maybe even a full month.

You remember it like it was tattooed in your brain. Just before Valentine’s day. She came to your job with flowers, much to the dismay of your coworkers. You two drove around for hours, Brent Faiyaz and Frank Ocean filling the car until you stopped at the beach. She kissed you with a purpose, so much so that the air left your lungs and all other thoughts left your brain.

You miss it.

“Show me, Ju.” You murmur, widening the gap between your legs for her to stand there.

Juju doesn’t even waste time. She grips your thigh with one hand, snaking her other into the crook of your neck and pulls you in. Your eyes flutter shut and her lips meet yours. Soft and even sweeter than you remembered.

Her lips glide against your own— slow— like she was savoring the moment. And she was, the tournament was approaching and it wasn’t clear the next time she’d be able to have you like this.

She breaks the kiss and you groan in disapproval, chasing after those plump lips before you can even think not to.

“That’s good enough? Or—”

“More.” You sigh, tugging her back to you by her jeans. “I want you, and I want more.” Juju presses her knee closer to your cunt as the kiss grows hungrier. Her mouth opens further, tongue darting out to slide against your own tongue. Like she was begging for more, begging for entry with a small whine. It’s the kind of kiss that makes you dizzy with need.

Juju digs her hands into the band of your leggings, snapping the elastic onto your hip. “Can I?” She mumbles against you.

It’s your turn to break the kiss, licking the saliva string between you both. Her eyes stare into your soul, deep and full of longing. She’s yearning for you, you see it how she grips your clothes, how her legs just slightly buckle.

“Yes. Please.” You whine, spreading your legs further.

The athlete leans into your neck, sniffing the fruity scent that lingers on you from work. Her lips find your sweet spot as she kisses along your skin. “Smell so good, baby. Taste even better.” She smiles against you.

“Ju, I need—” Your plea is cut off by the feel of her fingers inside your pants. She trails them down to your clothed cunt. Copping a feel of your clit through your panties.

“I know. You’re soaked. Just need me so fucking bad, yeah?” Her voice rings in your ear while her middle finger applied the kind of pressure that made your legs shake. You gush almost instantly, more of your slick drenching the fabric.

You nod fast—anything to get her to speed up—but you mean it. “Need you so bad, pretty girl.” Your hand holds the back of her neck, fingers toying with the flyaways of hair that reside there. “Please?”

“I don’t know, baby. I wanna make you my girl first.” She teases. Her fingers don’t stop, still running up and down your covered slit.

“Ask me.” You pant. Your hips buck up in need, free hand clutching the hem of her shirt.

Juju’s face comes back to view, looking down at you with a smirk she can’t hide, not in the slightest. “Y’sure? Here? Like thi—”

“Fucking ask me, Ju.” You stutter, and she doesn’t miss it.

She can’t miss it. How your mouth hangs open and your pants huff into her ears. You’re dying for it, for more. For anything she can give you.

“Will you be my girlfriend, beautiful? Please?” She smiled. Her fingers hook into your panties, tugging them to the side. Enough for the air to make you shiver, but not enough for her to touch you fully. She was leaving you on edge.

“You make your girlfriend feel good?” “You joke.

“Y’know I will, mama.”

“Then yes. Yes, baby, I’ll be your girlfriend.” Juju’s fingertips brush over your clit. Once, twice— and then the third time, she’s slipping her middle finger inside your pussy. Biting her lip as she does so.

“Take your shirt off.” She orders. Her voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it, at least when she was with you. So you listen. Dragging your hands off her body and to your work shirt. It hits the floor with a thud that is ultimately drowned out by the sound of your moan.

She’s good. Better than you even imagined. Her finger is long, brushing along your g-spot with nearly every stroke. And when she curls them, God, it makes your eyes water.

“You feel so good.” You whimper, gripping the edge of the counter like your life depends on it. Juju relishes in the sounds you give her, not even the moans but your cunt. It’s loud, ringing in her ears as she slips another finger inside.

“Yeah? Who’s makin’ you feel this good, mama.” She asks, holding her bottom lip between her teeth.

Your head falls back, eyes rolling as she speeds up. “Y-you. You, baby. Only you, Ju.” You babble.

“Remember when you used to say you ain’t want me?” She starts, twisting her fingers in and out until your panties are all sloppy and you’re soaking your leggings. “Look at you now, legs shaking. Pussy just screamin’ for me.”

“Juju! Oh, fuck.” You grunt, meeting her halfway with each push of her fingers. Her hand trails up to your chest, squeezing your breast with a haste that makes you want to give her any and everything that she pleases. “I can’t—”

“Can’t take it? Really? ‘Cause I know you’re not a quitter. Ain’t nothing you can’t handle, right?” She hums, pressing her plump lips to your cheek.

You can smell the weed off her breath, the mango of her smoothie. And it’s all overstimulating.

Juju curls her fingers, and she knows she’s hit your spot when you nearly fly into her hold, arms wrapped tightly around her neck.

Your breath hits her ear, alongside the pleas of her name. “I’m so close.” You all but cry.

“Imma make you cum?” The question is rhetorical, she knows the answer. The way your body says all the words you don’t. “Yeahhhh, gonna make it feel good for you, baby. I promise.”

“Fuck, don’t stop! Don’t, Ju.” Your moans nearly make the athlete go blind with arousal. Soaking through her own underwear and they thought of having you finish here. On her kitchen counter.

“Lemme feel it. Cum, mama.”

It takes one more push of her fingers to make you nearly fall off the counter. Your legs tremble and your hands clutch Juju’s shoulders like a fucking life line. She works you through it, leaving kisses along your earlobe until she finally drags her coated fingers out of you.

They travel to her mouth, where she makes a show of licking them clean of you. Your eyes make sure they’re fully open to get the view, you’d rather die than miss it.

“Goddamn you taste good.” Juju groans, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Just something about me, I guess.”

🔖 @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch @d3arapril @wbbgetsmewetter @ryywyd @tndaqlwifwy @ykylalex @ohmybueckers @flipthepaige @janaelalfysblunt @cherryswisherz @courtsidewithlani @vamptizm @bdbueckers @makethemhoesmad @omg-imtumbling @avvwritesstufff

absolutely. yes.

⁎⠀┉⠀ $$$4U — SOME SEXY SHOTS 4 U a collection of fluff, angst, and smut wbb oneshots by kalena, for you. based on the album $$$4U by drake and pnd. including: paige bueckers, juju watkins, azzi fudd, kate martin, aubrey griffin & others

while i am also working on putting together another long series, i wanted to release this as well. i dont have a timeline for updates, but i don’t plan to keep you all waiting too long! i would like to let it be known that paige and juju will probably make the most appearances ( they’re my wives… ) but, i am taking requests for who you all would like to see for the rest of the songs and whether it should be smut, angst, or fluff. as usual, i don’t write for cc nor do i write player x player ships.

SMUT

something bout you j.watkins ⸻ coming this weekend celibacy p.bueckers ⸻ deeper a.fudd ⸻

FLUFF

meet your padre d.darius ⸻

ANGST

glorious o.miles ⸻ crying in chanel n.mühl ⸻ raining in houston g.amoore ⸻

** subject to change, masterlist will be updated as new posts drop.

🔖 @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch @d3arapril @wbbgetsmewetter @ryywyd @tndaqlwifwy @ykylalex @ohmybueckers @ohbueckers @janaelalfysblunt @cherryswisherz @courtsidewithlani @vamptizm @bdbueckers @makethemhoesmad

love how you just came out swinging with a good fic, like wtf

-🐹

AWW TY. it was kinda random i admit, i posted a fic before i even posted my intro. 😭

Wicked Games

PB x reader

WC: 4.5k

CW: angst (i guess), cussing, smut (at the end), alcohol consumption

men dni, mdni

description: when you fall in love with paige bueckers, you try to downplay it. you know, to protect the casual situationship you two have going on. but when you can no longer deny your feelings, things get a bit chaotic.

authors note: hey guys… so this was mostly based on wicked games up until the end! and then i got carried away 😛 anyway this is lowkey lacking detail and dialogue but its ok. enjoy 🙏

the truth is, you could never say no to paige. 

you had met her when you ran into her at a bar. you were drunk, and randomly decided to go up to her since you had recognized the basketball player from your school. she took you home that night, gave you her number. how could you resist her? she was hot, and not to mention she was uconn’s golden girl.

after that night, the two of you got to know each other better. but not well enough to be considered “talking.” she told you she wanted to keep it casual. nothing too serious, seeing as to how she was a famous wbb player and she wasn’t quite ready for a relationship. you were fine with that. after all, you didn’t want anything serious either. 

but did it stay casual when you started falling in love?

you tried to ignore it, you really did. it all started when she would let you stay the night without hooking up. you would talk, eat, hang out, and do whatever else kept you two busy. you became friends. friends with benefits. slowly but surely, you found yourself growing closer to her. emotionally and physically. she didn’t notice. she thought it was truly casual. she was fine with you being with others, because it never made her jealous. after all, she didn’t have feelings for you. she just thought you were attractive, and she could benefit from keeping you close.

close, but not close enough to make anything serious. 

currently, you were next to her, awake. she was sleeping, breathing softly as the sun reflected off of her blonde hair. she was beautiful. you watched her silently before you slid out of the bed. you left the room quietly, avoiding waking her up as you walked to the kitchen. you made a glass of water, letting the cool liquid run down your throat to fully wake yourself up. this is how you began your average morning routine. things have been going like this with paige lately. you wake up early, shower, and you most likely make her food. then when she wakes up, you greet her before slipping out of her dorm. 

after that, you spent the day withering away, thinking about why you felt so empty. 

paige doesn’t know what you’ve been going through. 

you’ve stopped seeing everyone else. now, you only see paige. she doesn’t know this. she doesn’t even know that you have any type of feelings for her. as far as she’s concerned, you’re living your best life. your friends say you’re seeing other people, going to parties, and living free. she sees your instagram posts. you in those dresses, drinking and having fun. but those posts were only half true. 

you were drinking. not to have fun, but to drown out the feelings burrowed deep inside of you. you lied to your friends, and you lied to paige. you had to end this. you had to move on and get over her. all situationships end the same, and you should have known that this “casual” thing going with paige wouldn’t have been any different. so, you decided that from now on you would have to avoid her. you didn’t text her, and to your surprise, she didn’t text you. that made you feel better. you knew that if she ever did show up, you wouldn’t be able to resist her. so being alone was exactly what you needed. it felt nice knowing you didn’t have to wait by your phone assuming a text would come in. but you still missed her, and you silently wished she would reach out.

for the next few weeks, you cried, drank, and ignored paige. neither of you talked. she hadn’t texted you, and you hadn’t messaged her either. but it wasn’t the no contact that made you hurt worse. it was the small things that happened around campus. you would see her in the hallways, catching eyes with her for a brief second before she looked away and resumed her daily routines. you figured you meant nothing to her. and that made you think you were over dramatic with the way you were feeling. 

it didn’t seem reasonable. getting drunk over a dumb crush. but it wasn’t a dumb crush. you were in love. and drinking was how you solved most of your issues before they went away.

you lived mostly the same for the next few months. you tried to work on your schoolwork to distract yourself, even though it didn’t help. you have no idea how paige is doing. you don’t know her thoughts. god, you wish you did. but you don’t. and you’re forced to deal with it. 

paige figured you had gotten tired of her, and that was why you became distant. she was upset, of course. she thought you two were close, and she thought she could trust you. but after you disappeared, she decided to give up. it wasn’t worth chasing you if you didn’t want her. paige went on anyway. she saw her other flings. yet every single time, she had this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that none of them were you. that none of them could do it like you did. she ignored it, telling herself that it was just her getting over you. telling herself the feeling was just filling the space you had left in her life. you weren’t that important. it was just a casual friendship. 

if it was so casual, why does she feel like she can’t go without you? 

she can. she knows she can. but she wants to see you again. she wants you in the palm of her hand, for her to control. she hates not feeling in control, not feeling like she knows whats going to happen before it actually occurs. because that takes away her power. it takes away her ability to predict things.  you were becoming unpredictable. disappearing and ghosting her? it was unlike you, and she hated that. she decided that she needed things to go back to normal. no, she wasn’t ready for a relationship. but she wanted to feel stable. and you used to be the most stable thing in her life besides basketball. she commonly saw you and you two would hang out. for months this went on. she needed you back, even if you were tired of her and hated her. she knew you couldn’t resist her because you never have been able to. she was going to get you back.

luckily for her, it’s a small town.

you went to a local bar. mainly because you were invited, but also because it gave you a chance to focus on something other than paige and the stress of school. you were sitting at the bar, waiting for another shot as you talked and laughed with a few friends. for once, you felt good about yourself. you weren’t thinking about paige and the stress of your school work had now lightened. you were just having some light hearted fun, away from the outside world. however, the universe seemed to hate you. just when you were letting loose, you spotted a few uconn wbb players by the entrance. your smile slowly faded after you spotted a certain blonde.

this cannot be happening.

you looked away, deciding to just ignore her. even though you could feel her burning stare crawl up your spine. you kept talking with your friends, drinking more and more as the night went on. 

it wasn’t long before you ended up drunk. 

you stumbled around the bar, ending up outside as you sat on the steps. you needed a break from the chaos. but as soon as the door opened, you realized the chaos had followed you. the blonde walked slowly towards you before lowering herself on the steps next to you. she glanced at you, before looking up at the stars. she was also clearly tipsy. not as drunk as you were, but it still gave her more motive.

“so…” you heard her speak. she was trying to start up a conversation. why? you ghosted her. why would she want to keep talking to you? obviously she didn’t get the memo. 

“what do you want, paige? you didn’t say it rudely. it sounded as if you genuinely wanted to know why she approached you. and you did.

you heard her sigh, and then she glanced at you.

“i wanted to talk to you. you know, we haven’t done much talking in the past few months.”

you feel bad for ghosting her. but it was what you had to do. you couldn’t let go of your feelings for her. they ran deep. too deep. after all, why would you get blackout drunk often trying to drown out your thoughts if it was a small crush? no. it wasn’t just a crush. you were in love with her. and you knew you had to get away before she broke your heart.

“im sorry.” was all you could make out. you weren’t going to bring it up. however, if she asked, you figured you would just be honest. if it went badly you could just pass it by as drunken words. 

paige watched the parking lot, examining the few people littered around. 

“why? i mean its fine. you can do what you want. but at least tell me why.” she seemed genuine, like she was curious to know why you had disappeared. and it was reasonable. she deserved to know.

“because paige. i had to get away from you. you said you wanted things to be casual without feelings, so im doing you a favor by not complicating things.” 

it was almost like she put her guard up at your words. why was she getting defensive? it shouldn’t matter to her. 

her body tensed and her eyes flickered with a hint of anger.

“not complicating things? you complicated things by just disappearing. we were fine, and we would’ve been fine if you didn’t leave. god you just— you don’t make any sense.” she looked at you while she spoke. as always, when she’s trying to state her case, she speaks with her hands. she’s always done that. in basketball and in her day to day life.

“paige, i have feelings for you.” you muster up the courage to say it, and your drunken state causes it to slip out a bit unexpected. you can basically hear her freeze, and of course she didn’t respond. taking in her silence, you start to pour your feelings out. it’s been too long without an explanation. being drunk and emotionally confused is not a good mix. you start to talk again before she can even open her mouth.

“you’re so confusing! you know that right? this is all your fault. you look at me like you love me, and you hold me like im the only thing that matters to you. and then you just dump it all away, pretending like it meant nothing. maybe it didn’t mean anything to you paige. but it means everything to me. its your fault i fell in love. at least be happy im distancing myself. please, don’t make this any harder for me and just leave me alone.”

paige basically gawked at you. you didn’t look at her, afraid you might break if you did. she turned away, slowly standing up and walking back inside.

wow.

no. you told her to leave, you can’t be angry.

that’s what you told yourself. and yet you were still so pissed that she left. now you know how she really feels. although its obvious she doesn’t care about you, she’s really just scared of the truth. she’s complicated, and when things get too hard for her, she runs. thats why she likes stability and casual flings. 

she didn’t care about you, is what she told herself. but if she really didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt this bad. 

paige waddled back inside, baffled. part of her was glad you told her. and then another part of her felt broken. upset. why did it hurt so bad to leave you? its too late now, you want nothing to do with her. she respects you for telling her and distancing yourself mainly to protect her wishes. she should be happy, and yet she’s not. she’s undeniably discouraged. as the night went on, she couldn’t enjoy herself. she needed a distraction, so she went to the bar to find some pretty girl to start something up with. 

this is what paige did when she didn’t know what else to do. she found another girl. after all, she could have however many she wanted. she’s paige bueckers. 

despite how many women she’s spoken to over the past few months, she can’t help but compare them to you. none of them could beat you even if they gave all they could. she didn’t understand why you were so good. she didn’t understand why you knew exactly what to say, or why you always made her feel so loved and important.

but it makes sense now. you love her. of course you’d treat her like that. what’s even worse is that she retaliated against those actions with actions very similar. but she didn’t love you, right? no. she didn’t. she was just confused. she’s tipsy, and she needs to distract herself for a little bit to calm down. then she can really figure her shit out.

surprisingly, things weren’t so bad after that night. you were still getting over it, but at least you weren’t behind on school work or getting drunk almost every day. you were stable, and you felt like you might finally be able to heal. however, emotions were still raw.

every time you pass one of her teammates in the hallway, they looked at you almost with pity. like they know things about the situation that you don’t. but they never spoke up, so you just ignored it. you were in a good place. you didn’t want anything to mess up your progress, and you believed nothing would.

that was until you saw the name light your phone screen up. 

paige.

what does she want? you had settled things. at least for the most part. you considered not answering. but that little sliver of hope inside of you made you pick up the phone. to you, it was worth it. even if she ended up hurting you, the fact that there was hope made it worth the risk. 

you were sitting on the couch in your dorm, relaxing before you pulled the phone to you ear.

“paige?”

you heard her lightly breathing on the other side of the phone. she waited a second to talk. when she finally did, her voice was shaky. it almost sounded as if she had been crying. 

“i’m sorry. can we talk? we need to talk.”

you were worried. she sounded upset. and it had to be important if she came to you about it. 

“paige? talk to me. i’m literally on the phone with you.” you waited for her to keep speaking. there was a long pause before her words started flowing out.

“look, i should have never went back inside that night. i’m sorry. I’ve felt like shit recently. i’ve been playing like shit too. we lost our last game and it’s all because of me. all because i can’t stop fucking thinking about you. i know i didn’t say anything that night so i’m going to say it now. even if it changes things, and even if you’re mad at me. i think i have some feelings for you. i honestly don’t know. i try to act normal and act like you not being with me doesn’t bother me. but it does. it bothers me so much and i hate it. i can’t see another girl without thinking about you.” 

she took a breath, and just when you were about to speak she cut you off.

“i dont know why its so serious for me, its not like i’ve felt this way before. because i haven’t. nobody makes me feel the way i do when i’m with you. and i didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you were gone. it was all good until you left.” she paused, continuing—

“tell me it isn’t too late. tell me i can be with you.”

she stops talking finally, and you can feel your eyes burning. can you trust her? what the hell is going on.

this was so random. you haven’t spoken since that night at the bar, and now she just randomly decides to call you and confess? 

“paige.. are you serious? this is so odd. you’ve always said you wanted something casual and what-not. neither of us are ready for relationships and you know it. so why?” 

you hated to face the truth, but you knew what was going to end up happening.

“baby i know we aren’t ready. but we can still try, right? things will be rocky, but we’ll be with each other. please. i love you.” the pet name and those three words at the end make your chest tighten. tears slowly fall from your eyes, and you wipe them up. you don’t sniffle, you just stay silent. was it worth a try? could you guys really figure this out? you decided you wanted to see if she meant it.

“okay.” you say quietly over the phone. you were willing to try.

“okay? okay. yeah.” she speaks almost relieved. you were glad she came to you with this, even if it wasn’t in person. 

“so what now?” you ask, not really knowing what else to say.

“im on my way to your dorm.” she said, clearly moving around. she didn’t give you a chance to reply, she just hung up. you sat up quickly. if she’s really on her way then she should be here in like five minutes. 

or less, because just a bit later you already heard knocking on your door. you swallowed a gulp in your throat, before you stood and slowly walked to the door. you opened it, and paige stood there. wide eyed and panting, she looked at you.

“paige, what are you doing here.” you tried to sound firm but the words came out as weak anyway. you couldn’t help it. something about this entire situation made you vulnerable. it made her vulnerable. and emotions were raw. she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. then, she faced you and placed her hands on your cheeks.

“please.. i need you. im tired of acting like i don’t.”

with that, she pulled your face in. the first kiss was sweet, but it definitely felt like she was holding back. it was more like a trial peck to see what she could get away with. and then she packed on the next one. it was deep and hungry, her hands sinking into your hair while you gripped at her shirt. she groaned into your mouth, giving you an opening to slide your tongue in. your cheeks flushed as she tugged softly at your hair. it was almost like you two were fighting for dominance. but when she bit your bottom lip and then swiped her tongue over the dent, you knew you were in for it. she pulled away, a string of saliva attached to your lips while the two of you caught your breath. 

“paige. it’s too soon, we should give it a little bit so we can talk and calm down.” you spoke out of breath, silently hoping she would turn you down. even though the reasonable resolution would be to stop and talk.

“fuck, i can’t. i’ve missed you too much. we can talk later.” she sounded like she knew it was wrong. like she knew you should stop, and that you should talk to each other before indulging in something further.

but you know neither of you were going to stop. it was so sudden, and you had missed each other for so long that you just felt like you needed it.

she let go of your hair, grabbing your wrist and tugging you to your room. you’re lucky your roommate is out for the night. she closes the bedroom door behind you, immediately pulling her hoodie off along with her shirt. you bit your lip, seeing her in just a black sports bra and low hanging sweats. she moved towards you again, pushing you softly down onto the bed and having you back up to the headboard. she took her sweatpants off, following you and hovering above you. in a flash, she had maneuvered you to sit on top of her. you were whipped around, trying to balance yourself. you straddled her, your hands resting on her chest. her hands gripped your thighs hard as she watched how they formed underneath her hands. she silently admired you for just a moment before beginning to strip you.

you loved the way she looked at you. 

before, it felt meaningless. like it was just a look in her eyes.

but now, it made sense. you felt appreciated, and somewhat loved. exactly the way you made her feel. 

and you were eating it up.

she pushes your shirt up, licking her lips as you pull it off and throw it along with the rest of the clothes along the floor.

“i missed you…” she spoke quietly while panting. she slightly sat up so she could be closer to you. you rested your arms on her shoulders, leaning in close.

“i missed you too.” you spoke against her lips, before pressing another slow kiss on them. she tugged at your shorts through the kiss, and you moved around a bit to help her get them off. she ripped off your underwear with them, too lazy to take it off separately. when everything was gone and thrown around the room, you were left in your bra. she broke the kiss, her hands roaming around your body.

“fuck, you’re so pretty.” her hands reached around to your back, unclipping the bra and throwing it away. her hands immediately came up to grope your tits, squeezing and massaging them. her hands were large, completely covering them. your head threw back slightly. you let out a few whimpers, and her mouth came down to attach to the hardened peaks in the middle. you let out a soft moan, your nails digging into her shoulders. you brought your head up, connecting eyes with her. her eyes were glossy, and she looked needy.

god, you could stare at her for hours. you couldn’t say just how many times you’ve imagined her like this.

her right hand sunk down to your core, circling your clit slowly. you whined, your forehead now resting on her left shoulder.

“soaked for me, huh?” you nodded quickly, pressing quick kisses against her neck. you sucked, leaving marks solely to distract yourself. her left hand squeezed your ass, and you heard her let out a soft whine due to your mouth on her neck.

you felt her fingers sliding through your slit. gasping, you grind yourself onto her hands. 

you were tired of waiting. 

after all, you haven’t seen anybody else ever since you started avoiding paige. and touching yourself was never the same. nobody could do it like her anyway. you knew nobody could fuck you the way she did.

and paige felt the same way. every girl she saw, even the ones she actually had sex with; none of them were like you. she tried to resist it, but after a while, she couldn’t take it anymore. she had to have you. even if it would change your “friendship” completely. even if it would complicate things and confuse the both of you emotionally. she was willing to try for you. 

she sunk two fingers into your cunt, and you squeezed around her. you relaxed into her touch, moaning out her name. 

it’s been so long. maybe too long.

“baby you’re tight. nobody fucked you since me?” she spoke in a low tone, smirking like she knew exactly what she was doing to you. and she did.

you shook your head, blabbering your words out while she pumped into you.

“no… no paige. nobody does it like you.” you whined almost pathetically, biting your lip. moving your hips against her hand, you let out borderline pornographic moans when her fingers curled. she hit that spot inside of you easily, just like how she used to. 

she kept increasing her pace, and you brought your head up to rest your forehead against hers. you moaned and gasped right in front of her, making sure she heard every noise. making sure she heard the way she made you feel. 

your slick was basically dripping off of her hand at this point. and god, she loved it. every once in a while she would glance down just to watch her glistening fingers disappear between your legs over and over again. 

she began to allow the palm of her hand hit your clit, even rubbing small circles on it when she curled her fingers relentlessly. she kept going, not giving up despite the cramp that rose in her forearm. she was focused on your face twisted in pleasure, and her name that seemed to leave your mouth multiple times. 

eventually, the familiar but yet missed coil in your stomach began to form. she took her left hand and pressed on your lower stomach, causing you to let out a guttural moan. she knew when you were close. she could always tell.

“paige… fuck. gonna cum, please don’t stop” you whined and blabbered, shutting your eyes tightly while you chased your orgasm. your moans continuously got higher pitched as you neared the edge. she smirked, looking up at you as you shook against her hand.

“yeah? go on baby. wanna feel you on my fingers.” 

immediately at her words you found yourself releasing, clutching her wrist with one hand and digging marks into her shoulder with the other. you felt the pleasure rock you from your core and up your spine. you let out loud moans, her name slipping out in between as a gasp. she slowed her pace, but she didn’t stop until you were pulling yourself up off of her lap. 

her face was smug, and she was definitely proud of herself.

you plopped down next to her, your body clad with sweat and your thighs wet with your slick. she didn’t bother wiping off her fingers, instead she brought them up to her mouth and licked them right clean. 

after you slowly came down and came back to reality, all of the emotions came rushing in. 

you were confused, happy, horny, and yet still somehow upset. 

things were still fresh. she had just up and confessed her love, and here you were.

the two of you still had a lot of things to figure out. but for now, you let her clean you up and pamper you with make-up kisses.

my baby goat