Actually The Funniest Part Of The "neil Definitely Has Kids" Revelation Is That Barry Is Such A Huge

masked brainrot

Ghost's Secret wife.

You were nervous, anxiety pooling in your stomach as you ran around your shared house with Simon.

His friends were coming over, though he only called them his "work buddies" but you knew that was a lie. Mostly because the soft fondness that would roll over his features when he talked about his work days in the evening as you lay in his arms.

There was a smell of Simon's favorite dish that wafted around the house as you frantically fluffed the colorful couch pillows, and straightening the blankets that laid across the back.

The sergeants under Simon didn't know you existed let alone Simon was married. He always kept that part of him a secret. He didn't want them that close to him in fear of losing them someday in the midst of battle.

You were a sweet little thing. Far too good for someone so hardened by life like him. It surprised him how kind you were day after day, helping him clean up after a mission your softness with him baffling. Because never did he have someone take so much care with him like you do

You dressed in your favorite sundress, the one that always had Simon swooning.

The door bell rung right as Simon stepped out of your bedroom. He walked up to you asking if you were ready, with your sweet smile you looked up at him his heart skipped a beat. You nodded and he moved away to open the door but not before pecking you lips with a soft kiss.

The door opened and his friends loudly greeting him but stopping in their tracks then the spot you.

You lift up your hand and wave, and the one you know as Johnny opens his mouth his jaw dropping as he notices the ring on your finger.

Price moves past him greeting you with kindness, the only one of Simons team that knew who you were. Gaz stands next you soap equally as surprised as Simon walks over to you wrapping his arm around your waist.

"You have a wife?!" They both balk.

bed time <3

Thought of this at work today lmao

new toy

Simon motherfuckin Riley

I think all my problems would be solved if I could make out with a mentally ill man

nobody can tell me that young john price wasn’t a fucking whore

this baby faced mother fucker got so much pussy i’m talking real shit

ghost who always have a grey, heavy, uninterested air about him but one day he comes to work, and he's got something behind his ribs clawing to be let loose. his teeth are clenched, his eyes sharp. his orders bite harder, his patience runs thinner, and the recruits feel it but don't understand it.

and it's all because you couldn't lie back and get eaten out like every other morning. it was routine. ingrained. automatic. ghost slips under the covers, dips his head between your thighs, and laps at your sex until you leave the mess he loves best— the slick, saturated spot he'd sniff while still wet. (can't blame me, luvie. it's sweet.)

you'd gotten up, thrown your clothes on in a hurry, and had been out the door, keys in hand, before he could get a word in.

unacceptable.

(kyle later catches him and asks him if he skipped breakfast or something. not by choice is what ghost tells him.)

SOBBING, BAWLING MY EYES OUT, SHAVING MY HAIR, BREAKING MY BONES. I LOVE HIM

Soap's Voicemail for You

Finally, I've made myself a voice model of Soap 🙏

So here is a little voicemail he left for you before he headed on the mission 💖

—————————————— Transcription:

Ah, luv, it's me, Johnny. Just wanted tae leave ye a wee voicemail before I head off. I cannae find the words tae express how much ye mean tae me. Ye're me world, me everything. I love ye, luv, more than ye'll ever ken. Promise ye, I'll be back soon. Remember, me words are a reflection o' me love for ye. Stay strong, me darlin', and I'll be back in yer arms afore ye ken it. Take care and know that ye are cherished beyond measure. Until we meet again, me heart is with ye always. Keep yer spirits high, and remember, ye've got me heart in yer hands. Talk tae ye soon, darlin'.