Toxic Boymom England Compilation

Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns？

I like thinking about what a check-up at the doctor's would be like for a nation. Like they get their knee hit with that little reflex mallet and the doctor is like "hmm, yes, something is up with the railroads in the south."

No but fr it's probably exactly like a normal physical except the doctor has to take into account the state of the economy or politics or any recent natural disasters. I feel like certain symptoms are like this:

Blizzard/cold wave = low body temp, mild frostbite, hypothermia in extreme cases

Capital crisis= cardiac arrest, fast pulse, high blood pressure

Disease outbreaks = whatever disease is widespread

Drought = dehydration, dry and flaking skin, rashes

Economic troubles/recession = common cold/fever, lethargy and fatigue

Flood = vomiting, kidney issues

Famine = malnourishment, hunger pains, eternal hunger

Earthquake = convulsions, dizziness, muscle cramps

Heatwave = heatstroke

Hurricane = dizziness, nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath

Political unrest = dizziness, nausea, headaches, stomach aches, mood swings, high blood pressure, auditory hallucinations, psychosis if severe

Tornado = dizziness, confusion, nausea, shortness of breath

Tsunamis = vomiting, dizziness, muscle cramps,

Volcanic eruptions = severe burns, high fever, coughing smoke, shortness of breath

Wildfires = burns, sometimes actual fire is visible, coughing smoke

And if there are any fatalities, other symptoms will show up depending on the death toll. symptoms such as PTSD, nightmares, hallucinations, and a profound sense of loss.

Fumikage Tokoyami:

Brother this is embarrassing.

Eclipse: *holding him up like in Lion King*

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

FIFTEEN

YEARS TO DO THIS.

Mezo Shoji:

Why?

Eclipse:

You shouldn’t hold kids that are under 15 like this.

Okay but Alfred just being The Heir; not just to William, not just to François, but to basically all of Europe. Cause goodness they hate him sometimes but if he ain’t a collective result.

Love imagining nations at their meetings. Like oh look at their little assigned seats with their little cup of water and their little name plate with their little flag pin!

Aww they're showing off their little slideshows at their little podium! Oh no! England and France are having a little fight! Oh and America has a little plan to save the planet! And he broke the little podium with his fist!

Oh, and Germany has a little migraine! He's going to count to ten in his head because of what his little anger management coach taught him!

Oh and now they're on their little lunch break! They packed their little national dishes for lunch!

And the cycle repeats.

2p “insidious capitalist“ 😈💰🇺🇸

I wonder how bizarre the US-Spanish War was for observers in Europe? like yeah the US has never been 100% truly isolationist, but Alfred has for the most part stayed to his side of the Atlantic (the Pacific is another story…). all I can imagine is just

Arthur, watching Alfred beat Antonio’s ass in 1898: if I had a shilling for every time I went a few decades without seeing my son Alfred and came back to find him grown and changed significantly more quickly than any nation naturally ought to, I’d have two shillings. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

imo a deeply important part of Alfred’s personality I feel like I should see but rarely do is his desire to be left the fuck alone. yes of course he’s a social butterfly but let’s be real: throughout the entirety of US history, Americans have wanted nothing more than extended Salutary Neglect from beginning of the colonies and we still try to go back to relative isolation now- now as in today, as in America First, etc. I think it’s fucking engrained. Americans expanded via conquest and colonization until we only had to deal with two neighbors (or, if you want to be an asshole about it, one neighbor and Canada, so 1 ½ neighbors) and a lot of people still bitch about not being isolated enough, we tried to keep out of both world wars, and in general we just kinda hate cooperating with others. one of the three main reasons for NATO’s existence is explicitly to keep the US from isolating and abandoning Europe again because boy do we fucking want to literally all the time.

so imo yeah Alfred genuinely loves socializing but his real passion in life is being left the fuck alone to do whatever hobby/business/productive thing he wants to do without being interrupted. this man has ADHD and just wants to hyperfocus in peace.

the happy treason day tweets on july 4th are ok tho