You Knew What You Wanted And Boy You Got Her 😭

In Jig of Joy. Julie bounces around room, shoes off and arms waving in blurred frenzy after reading reviews that echo the ovations she had heard in the theater [Life Magazine, 1958]

🤍 SAFETY 🤍

Congrats, you made it. I created the safety fic. Wrote this in one day so be kind xx

“Okay, we’ll just go up, change, i’ll pop some advil and we’re good to go. Actually, do you want to order a snack from room service? When I saw the portion size at dinner, I already knew in my head that we might have to try the wings from the menu after all…” 

The elevator doors close behind her and Travis just grins at the woman standing right in front of him. He feels a little buzzed, but far from being drunk. It’s that stage of feeling the alcohol that is nothing but feeling full of energy, letting loose, just… being happy. Happy because the blonde woman in his arms is as bubbly as he loves her to be. She’s light as a feather, as comfortable as she could possibly be right now. Which is something he hasn’t always been able to witness ever since she came into his life and turned everything upside down. He soaks up these moments, witnesses them in their full glory. There’s nothing quite as peaceful as seeing her happy. And it’s slowly becoming the one thing he wants to see for the rest of his life.

“We’ll do whatever you’re up to.” he ensures her once more. His hand wandering to her left cheek, gently stroking a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiles for a moment, her eyes sparkling a little bit as she moves closer to him, signaling him that she needs a kiss right now. Despite Ray standing right next to them, Travis leans down to her height, kissing her lips softly. 

The massive elevator doors open with a ringing sound. Ray enters the upper level first, followed by Travis with Taylor holding his hand. It’s quiet in this part of the luxury Las Vegas hotel, nothing but the noise of Taylor’s high heels audible on the carpet. And Travis knows why. They’re the only ones staying on this floor, renting out a gorgeous suite with a view over the Las Vegas strip for the night. As much as he loves the crowds and the fun of Las Vegas - he’s learned to appreciate the silence, the privacy, the quietness he’s never been able to fully enjoy before. But now, there’s nothing as calming as being alone with her. Just him and her, and the whole world can wait. He’s found a form of peace and safety in the idea of being able to enjoy downtime not just alone, but with another human being. Before her, he could never sit with someone in silence. Before her… a time he can’t quite recall without the ache in his chest of wondering how he ever made it through the ups and downs of life without her by his side, holding his hand through all of it. 

“I will be right outside.” Ray politely lets the both of them know once they get to their room. He opens the suite with a magnetic key card and the door open for the couple. 

“Thanks, buddy.” Travis pats his shoulder, letting Taylor enter their hotel suite first. He closes the door behind them, watches Taylor make her way to the little night stand in the bedroom. In her gorgeous, dark green evening gown she sits down on her side of the bed, starts to rummage through her cosmetic bag. Travis just drops the jacket of his suit over the chair in front of him. Finally. He knows that him feeling warm and sweaty all night is nothing new. But wearing a suit tonight did not make it any more comfortable for him to be a real life yeti. Before attempting to change his outfit for the fun part of the night, he picks up the phone next to the tv remote, just presses a button. The blonde woman looks up at him confused, still trying to find the left over pack of advil that she threw into her little bag after getting back from Big Sur last weekend. 

“Hi, I’m calling from room 1002. I would like to order some room service.” 

The big man with the phone on his ear turns to her, and she smiles thankfully at him. Of course he would make sure she’s got everything she could possibly need in this moment. 

“Yeah, I would like to get some wings. How many are on one plate? 5?” 

“Get two.” she whispers from across the room. 

“Alright, then two plates please. Also can we get another bottle of water and..”

“Diet coke, babe.” she whispers again. 

“And two diet cokes.” he adds. “with ice.” 

“Also, can we add some sauces to that? Do you… yes, great. We’ll go with that then. And a portion of mayonnaise, please.” he says, and she giggles at him, sending him a little butterfly kiss from across the room. She knows how much he hates mayonnaise, but she also knows that he is well aware of how much she loves it. One of the millions of kind gestures she was forced to get used to in the past months of being with this man. 

“Thank you!” he says, then hangs up the phone again. 

“You are just the best.” she says, dramatically, making him laugh. She’s gotten up from her spot on the bed by now, reaching for the half empty bottle of water standing next to him. Her hand lands on his shoulder and he can’t help but put his over hers for a moment.

“Of course I am.” he jokes, confusedly watches her pour herself some water into a glass. She then swallows two of the pills in her hand, emptying the glass of water in just a few seconds. He’s stood up by now, standing right in front of her with his white shirt still tucked into his trousers. His big hands on her shoulders, his eyes a little more longing than they were before. 

“You good?” he asks, and she places the glass next to her again, a little out of breath from drinking the whole thing at once. 

“Yeah, just.. headache. Will be better soon.” 

“How’s your sunburn?” 

“I’ll be fine, Trav.” she says, almost in a giggle because he’s been concerned all night. He gently moves the spaghetti straps of her dress over her shoulders. The fabric has clearly left a mark on the already redenned shoulders of hers. He lets out a compassionate sigh, then moves down to press a few butterfly kisses on her skin. 

She giggles slightly. Partly because his beard tickles her, and partly because this is the third time tonight that he can’t help but love up on her sunburn. 

“Your poor shoulders.” he mumbles in between the kisses. 

“They’ll get through it.” she replies amusedly, as he lifts his head again, just looks apologetically into her face. She can read instantly what is going through his head. He feels responsible for her not feeling at her best tonight, because she stood right in the hot Arizona sun all day for him - watching him golf with Patrick, supporting him as recklessly as she always does. 

“How ‘bout we just skip the party, undress and throw our own little party?” he mumbles, loves feeling her hands on his beard. She gently strokes his skin, a grin on her lips while gently shaking her head. 

“My love, we’re here for work. For a good cause. I’m fine. I would tell you if I wasn’t.” 

He nods, admires her once more for her strength, her commitment in supporting him and the things that matter to him. A feeling he hasn’t had with anybody else before. He doesn’t speak, enjoys feeling her hands in his neck. He leans closer to her, his nose touching hers. 

“I love you so much, baby.” he just whispers, and she giggles, lifting her face to kiss the tip of his nose once. 

“I love you, Trav.” 

“Kiss?” he requests, and she leans in to press her lips against his. He sighs slightly, tasting the cherry flavour of her lipstick once more. 

“Alright, let’s get ready.” 

“What are you gonna wear?” she asks him, starts to go through her suitcase at the end of the room. She slowly kneels down, starts to rummage through the big case. He can’t help but laugh at her. In her ridiculously expensive dress, she just sits on the floor, going through the piles of clothes she was too lazy to move away this morning. All whilst his clothes are neatly folded and hung up in the built-in hotel closet. This clearly is one of their major differences. He likes having control over his possessions. Likes taking care of his things, having a system. Clarity. Neatness. And just like a little beautiful hurricane of joy, Taylor likes to let her things pile up, doesn’t really care about the materialistic things she owns. So chairs become hangers for pants and jackets. TV screens become a storage unit for long gucci gowns. All her shoes are just kicked aside right next to where she sits on the floor. She truly likes to live in a creative chaos. A beautiful, creative chaos.

“Just something comfortable. That’s for sure.” 

“Mhm, this one?” she asks, holds up a little off-shoulder black dress. “or this one?”

“The black one.” he says, slowly unbuttoning his shirt to change. “Gives your sunburned shoulders some room to breathe.” 

~

A big hand in her back, the moving lights on his face, the loud bass of music vibing so loudly, he can feel it in his bones. He can immediately tell that all eyes are on him and the woman in his arm. A normal reaction to being basically anywhere with her. He looks at Ray behind him, giving him a hand to signal clearly that he’s got her. He will not go anywhere without her consent. The next thing he notices is Patrick waving at him from across the room, signaling his friend to join him where they’re hanging out. 

Together with Taylor, he tries to make his way through the crowd, phone cameras in the darkness right in her face the moment she is noticed. He looks down at her, his hand still more than protectively in her back. She’s forcing a smile, suppressing a yawn. He doesn’t care what she’s telling him. He knows she’s not feeling at her best tonight. 

“Say a word and we’ll leave.” he says in her ear, hoping she could understand him through the noise. She looks up at him, a gentle smile on her lips and the little twinkle in her eyes that he loves so much. Her small hand moves to his chest, and she nods, her lips just forming a low “okay”. 

A few moments later they have finally reached Britanny and Patrick, who were just chatting with a few other people through the noise. Taylor immediately goes to hug Britanny and Amber and Travis turns around to look for Ray. Travis then reaches for Taylor’s hands once more, makes her turn around to signal her that he will leave for a moment to get a drink. She just nods, doesn’t really react much and just keeps on chatting to the women in front of her. Travis once more turns around, signaling Ray now that he’s leaving for a moment. The security guard immediately steps up closer to Taylor, keeping his eyes on her surroundings. Only a few moments later, the big football player steps closer to his group of friends again, nodding at Ray who immediately steps aside and loosens up again. Travis doesn’t interrupt Taylor who is laughing with Britanny about something. He just hands her a drink, and she smiles at him thankfully for a moment. Vodka Cranberry. Her favorite. 

Travis now turns to Patrick and Ross, as well as David Brooker who stands right next to them. He’s honored when the man approaches him, gushing to him about how impressed he’s been with his performance this past season. How excited he is for what’s ahead for Travis. He can’t believe David Brooker even knows who he is. Just one of these moments, in which he can’t believe that this is his life. 

~

Time flies, drinks flow, and people approach him for some small talk. Every now and then, he makes sure to go and check up on Taylor, who has been her chatty self all evening. It’s always been one of his dreams. Having a partner support him at these events. Someone who’s as personable as he is. Someone who can have a good chat with anyone he works with. And he loves her for it. He loves to feel this unimaginable support for the first time in his life. 

With free hands, he steps up behind her. The faces of the women in front of Taylor already wandering to the tall man appearing behind her. His big hands make their way between her arms landing right on her stomach. She immediately melts into his arms, a big smile on her face as she feels his gentle kiss on her cheek. 

“You good, baby girl?” he mumbles right into her ear, making sure no one else hears his words, no one else except her. She just looks up at him, both her hands firmly on his, and she nods. 

“Yeah, you?” she asks to check on him, turns around in his arms, and seems glad to see him nod with a smile on his face. He loves to feel her hands move into the familiar spot on his cheek, a sign that she wants to be close to him. He leans down, kissing her. This time, he can feel her giggle into the kiss, and even through the loud music in the background he can feel her sigh. She pulls back, a giggle on her lips, and fire in her eyes. 

“Not here.” he just mumbles and she starts laughing in shock, unable to process that he thinks this kiss implied that she would ever do something as risky as hooking up with him in a public place. 

“I did not insinuate that, oh my god.” she defends herself immediately, laughing as he presses her closer to him. He kisses her hair a few times, moving closer to mumble into her ear while hugging her closely. 

“As I said, I’m happy to leave anytime. Like, literally anytime.” 

She laughs once more, slowly pulls back from him, pretends to hit him once. But it just makes him laugh more. She just shakes her head, but her eyes are saying something very different. She can’t wait to get closer to him, either. 

“Tay, do you want another drink?” Britanny suddenly interrupts the two, Taylor nods, says something to the smaller blonde woman, which is incomprehendable to him. She then turns around again, facing Travis. He laughs at her, a bit surprised about the fact that she decided to let loose tonight after all. But he’s glad. He’s so glad she’s enjoying herself in his circles. 

~

His phone screen lights up through the dark, and for a moment he’s surprised. 3.12am. He can’t believe how late it already is. And he can feel the buzz slowly turning into something more. He finishes his almost empty glass, making a mental note to himself to not drink anymore tonight. He’s not drunk, but he knows that he will be hung over if he keeps on drinking now. 

Travis places the empty glass next to Patrick’s, checks the text on his phone that he just received a moment ago, then locks his phone again before letting it slide into his pocket. He looks over to where Miranda and Britanny are standing. For a moment, he searches the tall blonde sticking out next to them. But she’s nowhere in sight. Travis moves his head, looking to the other side of the packed night club. She’s not standing next to Amber either. Her security is also nowhere in sight. He feels a wave of worry rise in his chest, slowly stands up. He shouldn’t have that last drink. Trav slowly makes his way over to Britanny. She looks at him, buzzed as well, struggling to understand him as he speaks into her ear. She finally understands then after a few moments, nodding, letting him know that Taylor had made her way to the ladies a few minutes ago. For a moment, he feels the anxiety in his chest dissolve again. He didn’t know this side about himself. He didn’t know this overprotective side, which Taylor clearly has brought out in him. With firm steps, he makes his way through the crowd, people high-fiving him, patting his shoulders. But he’s got a destination this time, and won’t get distracted by the small talk surrounding him. He finally can see the lid up restroom sign next to the bar. That’s when he spots Ray, both eyes on the crowds in front of the door leading to the ladies bathrooms. He’s thankful for him. Thankful to know that she’s always got someone looking out for her.

“Tay’s in the bathroom?” he asks, and Ray nods. Trav just waits next to the security guard, taking out his phone once more. 3.17am. She must be as tired as him, probably ready to head off. After a few seconds of waiting, he then witnesses a swarm of women exit the bathroom. He just stands there, smiling apologetically. After all, he knows how creepy it must come across to stand right in front of the women’s bathrooms just staring. A few moments later, a certain blonde finally makes her way outside. Her hair wavy, her short black dress showcasing her incredible legs, an empty glass in her hand, walking a bit more unsteady than she usually does. He has to let out a giggling breath, his smile turning even bigger when she sees him. 

“Hi baby.” she says loudly, her hands immediately reaching for him. He just laughs at her, placing both his hands on her hips. 

“Are you a little tipsy?” he laughs, gives her a happy kiss and Taylor laughs as well, nodding heavily. He just embraces her in a gentle hug, feels the cameras of people’s phone facing them, yet he doesn’t even care. Presses a few kisses on her cheek before letting go.

“I am and.. I don’t even know why. I just had two drinks, but I can really feel it. How did you notice?” 

He pulls back and nods, taking the empty glass from her. 

“You went to the bathroom with an empty glass, babe. And took it back out with you. That’s how I can tell.” 

She suddenly looks at the glass Travis just took from her, then looks back at him in disbelief and starts to laugh again. This time, she’s covering her mouth in embarrassment. 

“Oh my god, I.. I officially am losing it.” 

“You’re so funny.” he mumbles after leaving the glass on the counter of the bar. “Want to take off?” 

She just shakes her head immediately.

“Noooo, not yet.” she reacts a bit too intense for his taste.

“There’s this guy, who’s hilarous.” she mouths in his ear, and for a moment he feels his churn in confusion. “He claims to be one of your best friends. And I was like..” she pulls back, folding her arms together in a dramatic manner, “okay, sure, babe. You’re Trav’s best friend but you haven’t hung out in a year? Mhm, sure thing.” 

He smiles at her, can’t recall a time he’s witnessed her this loose and funny.

“Also, I was like… sorry, but I’m Trav’s best friend, okay? I am.” she mumbles, almost aggressively, and it makes his heart beat faster for a moment. With his hands on her hips, he pulls her closer. She suddenly looks up at him a bit worried. “I am your best friend, right?” 

He smiles again, nods slowly. 

“You are. You’re my best friend.” he mumbles into her ear in the hug, feeling her head rest on his shoulder. She really is very much drunk tonight, and he’s living for this hilarious version of his girlfriend. 

“You’re my best friend, too, Trav.” she says then, again, a tad too loud than she usually would, but he doesn’t mind. 

“Sure you don’t want to leave?” 

She slowly pulls back, nods with a smile. 

“Just thirty more minutes, okay?” she says, and he nods. He’s glad she got to let loose tonight, even if that’s not something he thought would happen today. He can see very well that she’s drunk, but he wants her to have this moment. Especially her. The person who is always so well put together. He gets to let go like this more often than she does. And he’s happy he gets to be here in the rare occasion that she does let go.

“Alright, let me get you a regular coke, Tay. You need it.” he says with a smile on his face, but a certain seriousness in his tone that she appreciates. 

“Yeah, thank you, baby.”  

~

“And I said to my wife, Travis Kelce. This guy. This guy will make it.” 

Trav just listens to the man in his fifties in front of him gush about him to his colleagues. He blushes a little, pretends to slide a few dollars to the man for his compliments, which makes Patrick, Ross and Harry laugh even more. He turns around for a second, just when he notices Brit approaching Patrick, clearly signaling him that she’s done for the night and ready to hit the hay. He turns around for a moment, finds Taylor still standing next to Amber and Chris. But there’s also another man he hadn’t noticed before. The guy is keeping his distance, clearly, but keeps on talking into Taylor’s ear through the noise. He doesn’t mind to see her chatting to people, men included. But what he doesn’t like is the fact that she seems to constantly loose her own balance in her heels, waddles from the left to the right. He also doesn’t appreciate the man’s hand touching Taylor’s naked arm. A boundary she would never let a stranger man cross. But she’s not moving. Something doesn’t feel right to him. 

Travis slowly leaves the group of people he was just talking to, and makes his way up to his girlfriend. He places his hand on her back but she doesn’t react. The man next to her has stopped talking to her, just nods at Travis with a weird smile. Travis however, looks at Taylor confusedly now, his hand on her back caressing her gently. Nothing. She still hasn’t clocked that he’s got his hand on her bare back. He starts to worry slightly. All she does is hold her empty glass in both her hands, looking into a void. 

“Baby?” 

She suddenly notices him.

“Oh hey.” 

Taylor faces him, and he immediately knows she’s not okay. Her eyes are glassy, her pupils are dilated. She’s very much pale, trying to balance herself on her heels.

“You okay?” he whispers into her ear, ready to take her to her hotel room. It’s been a fun night but her current state is something he hadn’t experienced before since knowing her. The fun is over for him. And it clearly is for her.

“What?” she looks up at him again, struggling to understand any of his words right now. 

“You feeling okay?” he asks again, and she seems to slowly understand through the noise. 

“Yeah, just talking to Amber and Chris.” she responds to him, and he doesn’t believe her for a second. Amber is fully focused on chatting to Miranda who stands right next to her. No Chris is even in sight. Travis looks back at his girlfriend, very well aware that she’s trying to act normal, which worries him even more. He can see she’s not feeling well, and he wishes she would admit it to him. 

“You sure?” 

She nods, both hands still clinging onto the empty glass. 

“Want to leave?” 

She shakes her head again. Something is up. She seems different than the tipsy, drunk Taylor he kissed by the bathroom twenty minutes ago. She’s not just drunk. There’s a kind of apathy filling her eyes that wrenches his gut. He hates seeing her this unstable, unsure. His hand on her back drawing gentle circles. He leans his head down to her again, pressing a kiss into her shoulder. Her skin is still hot from the sunburn she got today. But her confused look after he kissed her makes him feel more unsettled than before.

“I really think we should head out, sweetie.” he tries again, but she doesn’t react. Still stares into nothing, pretending to look at the people in front of her who are clearly drawn to their own conversations. 

“Can you.. can you get me some water?” she says then. Travis leans closer to hear her properly, immediately nods as soon as he understands what she needs. He presses a kiss onto her cheek, clearly worried, reaching for the empty glass in her hands. He has no idea what she’s been drinking, but he surely knows that this is not the same glass from before, when she was nibbling on the full sugar coke he got her. But Taylor won’t let go of the empty glass. It’s only just then that he realizes how tightly she’s clenching it. A bit confused but more worried than before, Travises hand lands on her back for the fifth time tonight. 

“Babe, if you give me the empty glass, I can..” 

“Oh, sorry.” she mumbles, lets go of the glass suddenly. Travis looks around for a bit, trying to scan the room for Brittany. He can’t seem to find her anywhere though. 

“Hey, how about you sit down for a moment while I get you some water?” 

She suddenly doesn’t fight him anymore, almost stumbles over her own feet while walking with him. She then sits down on one of the lounges by the side. He quickly waves towards Ray, signals him to come closer. The security guard immediately looks concerned, but Travis just whispers in his ear to stay here with her while he’s getting her a glass of water. The man nods, remains close to Taylor while being fully focused on her surroundings again. While making his way to the bar, Travis feels worry rise in him. Like a tidal wave, slowly, but with a force he hadn’t experienced before. He realizes in this moment that this is the first time he really cares about someone. More than himself. He wouldn’t mind if anything happened to him if it would mean that the clumsy, tall blonde sitting on this lounge is okay and happy. 

While walking to the bar, he keeps on looking back to where she sits to make sure she’s okay. This is not the first time he’s witnessed her being drunk. But it is the first time he’s witnessed her this out of it. Just sits there like an empty shell, staring into nothing, not talking to anyone, not being chatty or giggly anymore. 

As he makes his way back to her, just a few moments later, is when his intrusive thoughts of worry finally win. This time, she’s not sitting there as apathetic and motionless as she was before. This time, she’s sitting there, looking from left to right like a terrified deer on a dark road. It’s not hard to see how anxious she is. Not hard notice her leg moving uncontrollably. She’s looking around with a lost look on her face. He can’t believe it, but she looks.. scared? Scared of her surroundings, looking down at her hands every few seconds to make sure they’re still there. Her little prada handbag fell to the floor and she didn’t even notice. As soon as Travis sits down next to her again, right after having picked up her bag is when Taylor reaches for his arm, and he notices just now how heavy she’s breathing. 

“Something is wrong.” she mumbles through the loud music of the night club.

“Tay…”

“I don’t feel good. I.. don’t feel good at all. I can’t see properly, and my hands...” she says with panic in her voice , leaning forward to cradle her head in her hands. Almost as if her hands could help her see clearly again. But it’s not working. She panics even more when she realizes that it’s not working, looks back down at her hands again.

“I can’t see and I can’t feel my hands and… I feel really sick.” she whimpers then, is on the verge of crying. 

“I’m really scared, baby. I…” Her hands keep reaching for his, and he manages to place his arm protectively around her. The water glass in his other hand. He takes a deep breath. They need to get out of here. Right now. 

“Have some water, here.” 

He can see her trying to reach for the glass in his hand, but she misses it. Everything she sees, she sees double. Trav looks at her in deep worry. It seems like she lost full control over her hands and once she notices herself, he can see the purest form of panic in her drowsy eyes. She’s close to tears, trying to reach for the glass with shaking hands.

“I...” she starts to take quick and short breaths. For a moment, Travis reaches for her sweaty and cold hand. By no means is he calm in this moment, but he wants to prevent her from collapsing or hyperventilating. 

“Hey, everything’s alright. I got you. You’re safe.” 

He carefully helps her press the glass onto her mouth. With shaking hands, she gulps down the water glass, both hands holding desperately onto his with closed eyes. When she’s done, she opens her eyes again, almost disappointed that the weird feeling hasn’t passed. She still sees everything double, feels like fainting any second. Trav has his arm around her, and she’s holding his hand with both of her hands. But he feels so far away. She’s scared. Scared to loose control. Scared of what is happening to her. Scared.

Travis places the now empty water glass next to him, can see in Ray’s face that the securty guard is starting to get worried, too. There’s cameras pointing at her, and the last thing he wants is for people to notice her struggling. She’s more vulnerable in this moment than she’s ever been in public, he knows. And he will do anything in his power to not cause a scene in here with her. 

“She’s.. she’s not feeling well.” he explains to the security guard. “We’ll leave now but I don’t want people to… can you.. can you just walk first and we..?” 

Travis clearly struggles to find the right words to make sense in this moment but the man in front of him nods, and immediately understands. 

Trav gets up, helps Taylor stand up as well. He pulls her into a hug as her knees are about to give in. 

“I want to go home, please. I want to..”

“I’ll get you home. We’re going home now. Don’t worry, okay. I got you. Just take a moment to breathe, and then we will walk right to our hotel room.” he whispers, knowing that his instructions right now just fall on deaf ears. She quietly cries into his shoulder, her breathing patterns being as fast as before. All she does is whimmer into his ear, begging him for help. He feels sick. Not sure whether she needs an ambulance, an IV or just a whole lot of rest. The only thing that clocks right in this moment for him is the fact that she was drugged. That someone, probably the strange guy from before, has slipped something into her drink to knock her out and make her as weak as she is now. It’s not his first time in Las Vegas, and it’s not the first time he’s witnessed a young woman collapse in some night club because a disgusting guy had something else in mind. He’s well aware about so-called ‘rape drugs’ but never in a million years did he think that it would shatter him this deeply to witness someone as pure and beautiful and strong as Taylor fall victim to this crime. 

It might not be the first time he’s witnessing someone being drugged, but in this moment, while hearing her cries in his ear, is when he realizes that it is his first time witnessing someone he loves soo deeply being abused right in front of his eyes. Someone he swore he would protect at all costs. Someone who came here, to this place, just for him, relying on him to be safe. 

She thought she was safe here with him. 

“Trav..” she cries into his ear again, her arm moving up and down his, almost as if she’s looking for him. But he’s right here. Right here holding her in his arms.

“I’m here, I’m always here. Just close your eyes, and hold on, okay? You can do it.” He whispers into her ear over and over again. Cameras are pointing at them, even more so when the DJ decides to play one of Taylor’s songs as part of his set. The people in this club start singing it to her, yet Taylor is nowhere near being able to react. He doesn’t want her to have to witness this moment in her current state, just lovingly presses her face into his neck, turning his head to kiss her. His left hand is holding her upright while making his way through the crowd with her. His right hand is gently on her head, pressing it against his chest and shielding her from the crowds. It takes two minutes to get to the exit of the club. Two horrifying minutes until they have finally left the busy club and step into the big lobby connecting the club to their hotel. A few drunk people make their way over to them, phones directed at the both of them, asking Taylor for a picture. Travis is glad to find Ray pushing people out of the way whilst he’s busy just getting her to the elevator at the end of the room. He feels her exhausted moans with every step she has to take. Oh, what he would give to be able to carry her in this moment. What he would give to not have any people standing in this lobby, filming their every step. 

With his hand still pressing her head against his chest is when they finally make it to the elevator. Ray presses the button and they step inside. It takes another two seconds and the doors close. Finally. In this moment, he can finally breathe. With one swift motion, he’s lifted Taylor up, now carries her bridal style while standing in the elevator. Ray looks at Travis concerned, who’s just fully focused on Taylor. She mumbles a few anxious, crying, incomprehensible things into his chest. But all he does is kiss her, assure her that he’s here, that she’s not alone, that he’s taking care of her now.

“Does she need a doctor?” Ray says, doesn’t want to overstep Travis but is well aware that it’s his duty to make sure she’s safe. He’s getting paid to keep this woman safe and right now, she’s passed out in her boyfriend’s arms.

Travis looks into Ray’s eyes, and he shamefully nods. He feels so embarrassed to look into the security guard’s face. To know that this man also relied on Travis being there, while he kept his distance. 

“I think someone put something in her drink when I.. when I wasn’t there. I just don’t want to.. to find any tweets about this tomorrow. I’ll call Tree first and get someone to look at her.” 

Ray nods, asking Travis if he needs help. He shakes his head, is way too focused on Taylor in his arms. Her eyes are fully closed now, but she’s not sleeping. Suffering cries are still escaping her mouth every few seconds. Her hand is clawing into his shirt. Almost as if she’s desperate to hold onto him. Travis leans down again, kissing her face once more. He’s sweating, full of panic. All he can do is assure her that he’s here. That she’s safe. That she’s finally safe. For the first time really tonight.

A few moments later the elevator doors opens again and Travis manages to carry Taylor into the suite. Ray opens the door to their bedroom and helps Travis step inside with Taylor on his arm. He slowly walks up to her side of the bed, almost stumbling over one of her shoes she just dropped next to her bed before when getting ready for this night out. Breathing heavily, he slowly lays her down on top of the bed sheets. He just swallows seeing her so weak. Just the thought of this guy from before having exactly this view in mind makes him feel sick. Travis sits down on the bed right next to her, starts to unbutton the clasps of her heels. 

“Do you need help?”

“No, I’m.. I’m just gonna undress her so that she’s more comfortable and then call Tree. Can you… step outside please?” he says. Travis looks into Ray’s eyes and clearly sees him hesitate for a moment. He understands that his job is to make sure Taylor is safe. But in this moment, the only thing Travis cares about is that Taylor feels safe. And he will never in a million years strip her naked in her most vulnerable state, in front of a man who is working for her. 

“Buddy, I’m taking care of her. Please give us some privacy.” he says, adding a slightly annoyed “Please.”

The brown-haired man nods slowly, then closes the hotel door behind him. As soon as the door falls into the lock, Travis stops for a moment, just to breathe. He keeps on fiddling to unbutton the clasp of her high heels, realizing quickly that it’s difficult to open these with his big ass fingers. After a moment he then finally succeeds, carefully sliding the shoes from her feet. He looks back into her face, glad to have finally found her in a somewhat comfortable position. She doesn’t move, has both her eyes closed and doesn’t seem to notice him undressing her. The make up on her face is smudged from crying. Trav feels tears building up in his own eyes, just seeing her like this. He hates to do this to her, but has to reach for both of her shoulders to help her sit up for a moment. She opens her eyes, still seems to be asleep as he pulls her forward to let her fall into a hug with him. She turns her head, nuzzling into his neck as he starts to unzip the back of her black dress. She will thank him tomorrow for not making her sleep in this tight party dress.

“Almost done, baby. You’ll be so much more comfortable when this is off.” he mumbles. She lets out a cooing sound, and Travis carefully lets her fall back onto the pillow. She mumbles something incomprehensible again as he starts to pull down her dress. She’s not wearing a bra, and within a few seconds she’s lying there, on top of her bedsheet, fully exposed, in nothing but her thong. She doesn’t move as he just carefully hangs her dress over the chair behind him. The chair full of her stuff, that he so amusedly made fun about earlier today. Earlier, when she was just her bubbly, happy self. Not another drugged girl getting undressed while being unconscious. 

Travis feels tears building up in his eyes, again, and for a moment he realizes how sweaty he really is. Not because he just carried her to the room, but because the panic and fear on the inside are getting the very best of him right now. 

He reaches for his big red KC shirt that she always sleeps in, manages to pull the shirt over her head, and walk her dead arms into each sleeve, one by one. She just lets out a loud sigh. 

“I know, baby. I know.” 

A few seconds later, after having properly dressed her, he fiddles the blanket under her and manages to tuck her in. Finally. And then, for a moment, it’s finally silent. He just sits there, watching her sleep. His hand moves to her head, stroking gently over her head as he feels a tear run down his cheek. All he wanted was for her to have a fun weekend with him in Vegas. All she did was fly out for him, and ended up getting violated like this, under his own eyes. Trav moves closer to her and kisses her hot forehead a few times.

“You’re safe now. You’re safe. I’m right here, baby. I’m so sorry. So sorry.” he whispers, not sure if his words are meant to calm the blonde sleeping woman or himself. He double checks once more if her feet are properly tucked into the blanket, knowing very well that she gets cold feet quickly. Travis then stands up, reaching for the phone in his pocket and leaves the bedroom to call Tree. 

~ 

With shaking hands, Travis just sits there, leaning against the bed rest, listening to the man in front of him talk while not letting go of Taylor’s head on the pillow. He tries to take mental notes, feels the imminent pressure to make sure to remember everything exactly as the doctor is saying it. It’s okay for her to move in her sleep with the IV still attached. When she wakes up, he can help her remove the tube from her arm. If she wakes up before the IV liquid is fully absorbed, he needs to give her another aspirin tablet. If she starts to feel sick, it’s important to make sure she’s in a stable position. She should regain consciousness in a bit, but it’s advised for her to get another IV drip tomorrow morning. She will be okay. And if she’s not, he’s recommended to call 911 immediately. 

Travis just nods, taking mental notes. Ray is standing there at the other side of the room, still talking to Tree on the phone. Travis just slowly lets go of Taylor, gets up to thank the doctor for everything. He’s still shaking, still trying to make sense of what happened tonight. He’s just glad that a medical professional has looked at her. That her body is now being flushed with lots of nutrients and fluids to help get rid of whatever drug she was given. Ray hangs up the phone, as Travis signals him to come closer. It’s still pitch dark outside, the lights of the Las Vegas strip not looking half as magical as they did this morning. This morning when Taylor was her normal self, standing by these floor to ceiling windows. Her happy self being in awe, excited for a day at the golf field. And him holding her in his arms, appreciating each giggle escaping her lips with a gentle kiss on her cheek. The same morning, in which a certain person was probably already plotting to secretly mix something into her system. Knowing that she would be going out tonight. Knowing that he would give her space to chat with her friends, network, talk to strangers. 

Space to get drugged and taken advantage of. 

“I need to run downstairs and grab some sugary drinks for when she wakes up. Can you please stay here with her for a few minutes in case she wakes up?” Travis asks the security guard and Ray nods, a little confused about Travises sudden change of mind. A few minutes ago he wouldn’t dare to leave Taylor out of sight, but now he seems eager to run downstairs? 

Travis thanks him, leaves everything he owns, including his phone, in this room with her. With determined steps, he leaves the hotel room before the doctor even can, approaching the elevator doors as quickly as humanly possible. 

Driven by adrenaline and aggression, more than he’s ever felt before, Travis enters the night club again, just seconds later. He can immediately spot Ross and Harry, who are both approaching him with worried looks on their faces. 

“Bro, are you okay? Brit said that she saw you and…” 

But Travis doesn’t hear any of it. All he can see is the man from before still standing there, talking to a group of women. His brain is fully shut, and his instincts are taking over. As soon as he approaches the group, the man’s eyes look up to Travis. Within a split second, Travis’ fist lands in the man’s face. A solid punch. There’s blood running down his nose and people looking at him in shock. The women next to them are jolting to the side. The guy is holding his nose with a look on his face that shows Travis clearly that he knew exactly what this was for. 

“You little piece of shit, don’t you ever try that again.”

Both Harry and Ross have witnessed the situation, just gently holding Travis back as a security guard from the night club gets closer to them.

“Man, calm down. I bought her a drink. Nothing more.”

“He fucking drugged Tay.” Travis says to his friends in a rage, who both are trying to calm him. “This asshole is out here drugging women and you guys don’t do anything?!” he says loudly to the security guards who are signaling Travis to leave the club now before things will get ugly. He feels a new form of anger rise in his chest as he is asked to leave, but Ross and Harry manage to not just hold him back, but convince him to leave the club and make his way out to get some fresh air. 

~ 

Travis is used to feeling exhausted. He’s used to feeling drained, tired and knowing he’s spent all the energy in the world available to him. As an athlete, he’s learned to deal with these moments of lacking energy, learned to push through and know when and how to reload his energy storages. But in this moment, while sitting down next to Taylor on this hotel bed, finally alone with her, he can safely say that he’s never. Never in a million years felt a level of exhaustion as severe as this. 

For a third time tonight, he wipes away the sweat standing on his forehead. His gaze falls onto the Las Vegas Strip in front of him. The sun is slowly rising, more and more cars are driving down the streets. The next day is starting, almost as if nothing had happened. It’s all just an endless cycle. The days come, the nights end. No one really cares for you out there. No one really cares about things that happen to you while the world moves slowly on. 

He looks down to Taylor again. His world doesn’t. Her left arm is still on top of the bed sheets, connected to the liquid IV standing next to her bedside. There’s still mascara stuck on her cheek and her long, blonde, wavy hair is all over the place. There’s lipstick stains on her chin, but she looks peaceful. She finally does. Travis swallows, gets up and closes the curtains. Sleep. Sleep is what both of them need after this night. He pulls his shirt over his head, takes off his pants and just drops them on the floor. He likes to be in control of things, like to keep his things neat. But none of the things he possesses matter when it comes to her. Just the thought of losing her, of not being able to protect her, not being her safe haven tonight has made everything else feel so irrelevant to him. From the very first moment he fell for this woman, was when he promised himself and her to always keep her safe. He let her down tonight. He let her security team down too, but mostly, her. 

There’s a deep and heavy pressure on his chest. He’s guilty. He’s failed her.

Travis slips under the blanket too, finally placing his head on his pillow. It’s dark in the room now, but not as dark as he’d like it to be. The daylight is still fighting its way through the curtains. He places his arm protectively over her body, checking that the IV is still properly attached to her arm. He gets closer to her, kissing her cheek again. He sighs, allows himself to close his eyes for a moment then. 

“What happened?”

His eyes shut open in shock and to his surprise, he finds her looking at him. Her eyes are tiny and red, but her face is fully turned to him. He feels a wave of relief washing over him, followed by the need to just cry like a baby. He knew she would be okay, but being able to look into her eyes is giving him endless comfort right now. 

“Someone put something in your drink. How are you feeling?” he whispers. He can witness her eyelids still fighting to stay open. His big hand already on her cheek. 

“Horrible.” she mumbles. He quickly gets up again and walks over to her side of the bed. In nothing but his boxers, Travis sits down next to her. 

“Can you sit up for a moment? You should take this aspirin before going back to sleep. You’ll thank me tomorrow morning.” 

She nods, tries to find her strength to sit up, but struggles clearly. Travis helps her immediately, pulls her upright with both of his hands on her arms. 

“There you go.” he mumbles, already reaching for the water glass next to her. She looks disoriented, confused. Her eyes wandering to the liquid IV in her arm. 

“What..”

“We had a doctor come look at you. This will help you feel better soon, baby.”

She doesn’t react, just nods and opens her mouth for him to place the aspirin pill on her tongue. A second later he then holds the glass of water closer to her mouth and she gulps it down as quickly as she can. 

“Good job.” Trav mumbles, placing the glass on her bedside table again. There’s a drop of water running down her chin and his thumb is quick enough to wipe it away for her. 

“Did.. did anyone see me like this?” she mumbles then in deep worry, while clearly struggling to stay awake. He snuggles himself under the blanket with her again, helping her lay down properly. This time she’s facing him, makes it clear to him that she wants to be close. His hand lands on her cheek and in her neck, his lips finding their way onto her forehead. 

“I don’t think so. I managed to get you up here quickly. Spoke to Tree and the guy who got you the IV signed an NDA. No one will have to find out about this, sweetie. Don’t worry.” 

She nods slightly, her eyes closed. Travis takes a deep breath. She needs her sleep. Badly. He kisses her forehead one last time, then lets go of her. As soon as his hand leaves her neck is when she opens her eyes and her dry mouth once more. 

“Stay here, please.” 

He nods, moves closer and helps her bury herself completely in his arms. Her cold feet are now pressed between his warm legs, and her torso is wrapped fully into his arms. He kisses her head again and again, hoping to get her to fall asleep. 

Suddenly she moves again, sitting up for a moment. Trav looks at her, ready to grab the trash can a few inches away from him in case she's getting sick. 

“You good…”

She turns around and reaches for his hand. She looks at his bruised hand in shock, then back at him. 

“I punched the guy who did this to you. Broke his nose. Also, I’m banned from entering this shitty club ever again. Fucking shit hole.” 

She looks at him, drops her head on his chest in disbelief and closes her eyes. He giggles slightly at her reaction, more than glad that she seems to have regained enough consciousness to worry about his bruised hand. His healthy hand now lands on top of her head protectively. 

“What the fuck.” she whispers and he can’t argue with her. This whole night is a whole lot of what the fuck. 

“I’m just..” he looks at the ceiling, Taylor on his chest, being fully aware of the fact that she’s probably already asleep again. 

“I’m just so sorry for not.. not being there when this happened. I never wanted you to feel unsafe with me. I just..” 

“You’re literally the safest place I’ve ever known, idiot.” She croaks then, and he looks down and swallows. He didn’t expect her to answer him, didn’t expect her to actually hear him and certainly did not expect her to say something as fundamental as this. 

“I think..” she’s tired, struggling to find words and Travis moves immediately, his finger on her lips, signaling her that she doesn’t have to say anything to him right now. She needs to rest. That’s all she needs to do. Taylor understands, her eyes closed again. Travis kisses her forehead one last time before attempting to get some sleep as well. 

“I think I’m so lucky that something like this happened to me when you were there. And even when I couldn’t walk or speak or see or move my hands, I just.. knew you would take care of me. That’s how safe I feel with you.” she says with a broken voice, both eyes closed. Trav moves his mouth closer to her temple, his lips finding her skin. He kisses her on this spot for the longest time, tears streaming out of his eyes and onto the soft fabric of his pillow. 

The Morning After

Because we all need a little AM fluff sometimes lmao xx

A sharp sun ray hits his eyes, forcing him to squint before opening them again. He smiles. Everything hurts. Travis closes his eyes once more, exhaustion taking over his body and mind. There's a sharp contrast in the air: the cold breeze of the bedroom AC in this Vegas hotel, compared to the warm sun ray filtering through the curtains of the floor-to-ceiling windows. He hears a drawer opening and closing, a little spoon rustling. He realizes in that moment that he's alone in bed. The worst way to wake up today.

A strong and exhausted arm moves across the bed, almost as if reaching for the ghost of her. He sighs, having lost all sense of time and place. He won the Super Bowl. He did it. He did it all because of her.

Travis sighs again, feels himself get emotional again. Emotional, and.. drunk. He's forcing himself to pull the expensive blanket from his torso. Fully naked from the night before, he leaves the bedroom of the presidential suite. His entire body aches, yet the view before him makes him smile for the first time this morning. At the end of the room, he sees a tall blonde, wearing nothing but his shirt, fumbling with the coffee machine. She steps on her tiptoes for a second, reaching for one of the coffee pads from the shelf above the little coffee station. She's still not wearing any underwear, clearly having thrown his shirt over her body when she got up. He smiles and keeps on walking barefoot towards her, not hesitating for a moment before wrapping his big, strong arms around her.

She startles for a second, her cold hands and the little familiar giggle he loves so much in his ear. Travis sniffs into her neck, pressing his face as close as possible. Inaudible kisses reach her skin and a few strands of hair from her neck in between. This is where he always wants to be. Nuzzled into her skin.

"Oh my god, I literally didn’t hear you get up," she murmurs, both her hands now on his that are right on her stomach. She sounds tired and exhausted, just like he is. After a moment, Travis lets go of her neck, helping her turn around in his arms. The view makes him smile even more. Her eyes are puffy, puffier than she probably likes them to be in front of him, and her hair from last night is all over the place. But he adores seeing her like this. He adores climbing onto this next stage of their relationship together. She’s probably as hungover as he is. No question. This isn't the best version of herself. And he loves that he gets to experience it. He loves that he gets to love it, with every fiber of his being. Just the way she deserves.

"Good morning, sweetie." he murmurs, and she smiles tiredly, placing both her hands on his cheeks before giving him a proper good morning kiss on the lips. He pulls back and laughs quietly, his forehead meeting hers.

"Are you okay?" he asks gently, feeling clearly that she's exhausted, more than usual. This is a next-stage tired Taylor he hasn’t encountered yet. Her eyes small, her face is pale and her hands cold. She seems off to him, seems a little more quiet than she usually is.

"Yeah, great…" She mumbles with a hint of sarcasm in her voice that makes him smile. "Woke up with a sore throat and my head exploding. I think the jet lag and alcohol just got the best of me."

Travis nods, his lips immediately finding her forehead again. He kisses her right over her bangs, both his arms rubbing her bare arms, almost as if this could make her hangover go away.

"Last week was a lot, baby."

She nods, her hands now on his chest while he holds her securely in his arms. She doesn’t even notice that he's naked. It's all about being close to him.

"Advil?"

"Yeah, I just feel like I need to eat first. How are you feeling?" She asks, looking up at her tall boyfriend. His eyes are tiny and he's a lot paler than usual. But she's not really surprised. He really went hard last night.

"I’m okay. I feel great. Might still be a bit drunk actually, but…"

She laughs. He nuzzles his face into her neck again, almost embarrassed.

"I'm sorry if it was a lot last night. I mean… from my side."

"What do you mean?"

"I was… drunk. In another sphere."

Taylor looks at him and laughs, her hands now gently caressing his face.

"I know. Me too. Trav, you are on top of the world right now. You were allowed to have fun last night,"

Travis looks into her eyes and nods slowly. Sometimes he looks at her and can’t believe she's here, can't believe she's his, through and through.

"Hey, I love you."

She smiles slowly, her fingers on his cheek. The unspeakable things he makes her feel. Things she thought she could never feel again.

"I love you, babe."

He kisses her again. She sighs into the kiss this time. The little counter with the coffee machine still against her lower back. But she doesn’t care. His kisses just make her forget that what she needed so badly a few moments ago was coffee.

Just as they pull back, Taylor takes a good look at him, then giggles again.

"What?"

"I love you, but that beard has to go."

He grins.

"Okay, deal. But first, how about I get you some breakfast and a proper coffee, hmm? And some Advil."

She nods, cuddling herself into his arms again. She loves his smell, and she loves feeling so loved up by his big arms. It's been a while since home was a person. It's been a while since she's felt so safe and seen in someone’s presence.

"Please. I need a large coffee. A large, iced latte with almond milk and vanilla syrup. Please. And a breakfast burrito," she mumbles into his chest, making him laugh a little louder. His voice is still rusty from last night, and he knows why. There's been a lot of singing, screaming, and smoking involved.

"Okay, my love. Coming through. Go lay down for a bit now," he says gently and kisses her cheek a few times. She smiles, nods, then steals another kiss. He closes his eyes, pressing her a little closer. He doesn’t want this kiss to end. He doesn’t want to let go of her either. Her smell, her lips, her little hands on his cheeks. He loves this woman more than anything he's ever loved. It's scary, it's beautiful. It's life.

Taylor slowly lets go of him, smiling at him one last time before stepping back into bed. He looks after her, about to search for his phone in the hotel suite, when she turns around again.

"Hey, Trav."

"Mhm?"

"I’m so proud of you. Did I tell you that today already?"

Travis smiles slowly, a gentleness in his eyes he’s not used to himself.

"You did."

"Good," she answers, grabbing the sheets on the bed and letting herself fall into the soft mattress.

danvotchka:

Blimey!

A slightly over spun Dame Julie.

can’t believe it took 30+ years (10 for me personally) to figure out the real issue between david duchovny and gillian anderson was never that he was aloof and temperamental while she was green and ingratiating but rather that she could not remember nor care about a single thing she’d said or done a moment after she’d said or done it due to having four thousand things more important than her coworker’s emotional state on her mind as a single mother 20something divorcee tv star meanwhile every time she breathed weird it hurt his feelings for a decade

Julie Andrews at the original My Fair Lady recording session, 1956

In the Blink of an Eye | Bucky Barnes (Mafia AU)

mafia!bucky barnes x f!reader ✧ oneshot

Summary: With Bucky Barnes, the mafia lord of New York, as your boyfriend, you're usually safe from any and all harm. With a date night gone wrong and your boyfriend distracted, though, anything can happen in the blink of an eye.

A/N: Another one of my favorites because come on, who doesn't love mob Bucky? If you couldn't tell by now, angst is my thing lol, but I'm working on some fluffier oneshots! True to my word, this one's a reader insert for all you lovelies, enjoy and as always keep dreaming 🤍

Warnings: mafia!Bucky, violence, angst, kidnapping, drugging, language, mentions of torture, fluffy ending because I just can't help myself.

Word Count: 5,896

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦

I knew the dangers when I started. I knew the risks. I welcomed them, I embraced them. They did not scare me and they haven't even now, so many months later.

We always seem to think we know ourselves so well, that we know what we'd do in every situation. I thought I knew.

Then I fell in love.

When you're in love, well, everything changes. For the first time, there's another person that you cannot live without. For the first time, you begin to realize just how far you'd go to keep that love, to strengthen it. I used to avoid love, used to think it was worthless.

Then I met Bucky Barnes, Wolf of the North and mafia lord of New York, and I fell harder than I ever have before.

I love him more than anything else in my life, and so I took on the risks willingly. When you love someone that deeply, that ardently, nothing is a risk. Besides, I knew that he would do everything in his power to protect me. Bucky would never let anything bad happen to me.

That's where I went wrong. Not in overestimating him, but underrating what can happen in the blink of an eye.

"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"

He acts as though he's heard me, but his eyes are glued to the phone in his hand as we weave through the crowds in the New York night. He never usually ignores me like this, and even though I'm growing annoyed, I'm hurt by his lack of attention too.

"We'll be fine, even if he is he wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything" Bucky brushes off, not even looking up from his phone. I let out a small huff as we approach the front of the bar and nightclub he owns.

Before we make it to the doors, I grab his well-muscled arm and gently tug him to face me. He looks up now, his usually softened ice blue eyes plagued with business and stress.

"I thought tonight was just for us, my love" I remind. Something softens in his gaze but he ices it down and doesn't as much as touch me.

"It is, but I have some business to attend to first" his gravelly voice replies.

"Business?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow and smiling softly at him, "You can get business any night, but I-"

"Just give me ten minutes, Y/N." my boyfriend interrupts, and if it were any other day I'd say something back. Too exhausted from work to want an argument, though, I simply sigh and decide to show him patience.

"Alright, you have 10 minutes."

We walk inside, but before we do I cast one more glance back towards the man who I saw following us. My heart hits the floor when my eyes connect directly with his across the street. His mousy brown hair and disheveled brown leather jacket and white shirt set me on edge, so I quickly turn around and follow Bucky into his club.

As soon as I'm back by his side, he presses a gentle but burning hand to my back, his touch, however small, still intoxicating me after all this time. Normally, he'd lean over and whisper sweet nothings or promises of love in my ear and I'd shiver at the whisper of his voice so near, but now he barely even touches me. His mind is so preoccupied with work, I know that, but it has been all week since this weekend is his rival's gala.

But I feel ignored and unappreciated and it's killing me.

The pounding music of the club wraps around me, making it harder to keep my thoughts straight. Bucky and I walk straight to the back of the club, where his business no doubt waits. He pulls away from me without so much as a goodbye, and my heart tugs. Quickly I grab his hand, making him glance at me.

"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out," I repeat, and I know he said I'll be fine but I need him to be here with me, "Please, stay with me."

"Doll, you're gonna be fine. Now-"

I cut him off, getting frustrated.

"No Bucky! I can fight, sure, but if he-" I interrupt, only for him to cut me right back off.

"Drop it, Y/N. Just go to the bar or something" Bucky growls, pulling out of my grip and walking into the office without a single glance back at me.

My heart cracks.

He's never like this, ever. He's usually so protective it's overbearing, and yet the one time I need that to feel secure, he refuses. I can take care of myself, but I'm not stupid. And no matter how capable and independent I may be, Bucky brings a level of safety to me that I can't describe.

And yet here he is, leaving me alone in his bar with someone following us.

I huff out a sigh and try not to look too forlorn as I traipse over to the bar. Almost as soon as I've arrived and sat at an open bar stool, the bartender who has become somewhat of a friend over the last few months approaches me.

"And how is my favorite customer?" He asks, his hands busy preparing a drink. I shrug, offering him a soft smile.

"I'm alright, Lee," I respond, playing with the edge of my sleeve, "Just a whiskey please."

"Sure thing, Y/N," Lee says, his brows furrowed as he steps away to make my drink. When the glass slides in front of me, I grab onto it with tired fingers.

"So, do you want me to ask what's really going on or do you want me to believe the lie?" The bartender asks, making me raise my gaze from the amber liquid and to my friend's face. He must see the tears gathering in my eyes because a hint of concern grows. I never break like this.

"Believe the lie, please" I nearly whisper, desperate to not have this conversation right now. Lee stares at me for a second longer before nodding.

"Let me know if you need anything else."

When he walks away to take care of another customer, I'm left feeling alone and forgotten in my boyfriend's bar. I sip on the alcohol and seconds turn to minutes, and ten minutes soon becomes twenty. I feel patience slipping and am seconds away from barging into that room and giving my boyfriend a piece of my mind when another voice pipes up beside me.

"I thought tonight was date night," The voice says, and I can't put a face to it. When I turn, the haze of alcohol clears instantly and my spine snaps straight. The music dulls into a hum. The lights grow darker. The color leeches from my body. My hand trembles around the almost empty glass.

It's him. He's got the same messy hair, the same brown jacket. The same hungry eyes.

Instantly, I clamp down hard on my rising panic. I refuse to fall into hysterics of any kind right now. This is the safest place for me to be right now, so I should have nothing to worry about. Instead, I simply shake my head and turn forward, downing the last of my second whiskey.

"You're another kind of stupid if you think anything is going to happen to me in here," I inform, my tone even and calm despite the throbbing, tearing panic within me that makes me want to sprint for Bucky.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to do anything," the man responds, his tone just as even as mine.

I furrow my brows at the ease of his response, but all at once it hits me. My head begins to spin and with each second that passes, my mind begins to fog. No. No. No.

He drugged me.

How did he get it into my drink?

How did I not see it? Smell it? Taste it?

I shove out of my chair so fast that the stool screeches against the hard floor. The sound is absorbed into the mass of the club, though, and an arm snakes around my waist.

"No," I manage out, but the connection between my body and brain seems to be almost severed. The words come out sluggish and far away and when I try to pull from the stalker's hold, my body barely moves.

Instead, I'm left stumbling like I'm drunk with this man guiding me towards the exit as if he's helping me to a cab. The bouncers. Ed and Damien, they won't let him take me. They'll stop him, they'll get him away from me.

"Don't make a scene, Y/N. Your boyfriend isn't even out of his office." My kidnapper's voice slithers into my ear, making my stomach church with nausea.

My boyfriend. Bucky. Oh God, where is Bucky? Why can't I seem to remember where Bucky went? Why he's not here? Why I was alone?

"Bucky, Bucky's gonna-" I slur out, sounding absolutely wasted to the unknowing ear.

"I know, Mr. Barnes going to be so glad I got you home safely," he says suddenly, his entire body shifting tone. I furrow my brows and manage to look and see us just passing Ed and Damien at the door. Even though I can really see straight, I see the two bouncers block the exit when they see me.

"Hey man, what's going on?" I hear Ed ask.

"Nothing much to see, Boss just wanted me to take his lady home," the stalker says, his grip on me tighter than it must appear, "She had a little too much to drink."

Too much to drink? Did I? Why can't I remember what's happening? I didn't think I did but...but maybe I did. Who is this man? He said he's taking me home, maybe Bucky had to cancel date night. It was date night, right?

Both Ed and Damien furrow their brows and look to me, immediate concern drawing on their features when they see the state of me. Some lucid part of me screams to alert them of something, anything, but the thought doesn't come to fruition. It dies somewhere along a neuron and leaves me tripping over my own feet and speechless.

"I've never seen you before, man. How do we know that boss told you to take her home?" Damien asks. My escort doesn't miss a step.

"The Wolf is in states nowadays, isn't he boys?" The stalker replies, and that lucid part sparks up again in protest at the familiar words. That's the code phrase to ensure safety in moments like this.

He knows the code phrase.

They're going to let him take me.

I do what I can to struggle as Ed and Damien step aside, but it only comes across as trying to walk on my own, because the bouncers chuckle slightly.

"Relax Y/N, don't overdo it" Ed quips.

"Rest up, miss. I'll let boss know you got home safely." Damien follows up.

And the lucid part of me fades into the drug haze as my kidnapper guides me out of the safest place on earth without so much of a gun fight. The cool night air slaps me in the face and I whisper, trying to struggle again only to forget why I'm struggling in the first place. My body feels like I'm running through neck-high mud, anyways. Any sharp movements I try to make end in my hands barely moving.

"Bucky," I breathe, an urgency in that word. Beyond the haze and the forgetfulness and the confusion, there's a deep and piercing need to scream out that name. I can't figure out why, but I need him. I can't...I need...

My head's spinning, or maybe it's the world. My stomach is twisting and turning and twisting and turning and tw-

"He can't save you now. He didn't even put up a fight to protect you," that ugly, slimy voice says as a car door opens, "What a shame. A treasure like you should be guarded. But I guess finder's keeper's."

Then I'm shoved into a car and everything goes black.

||| James Buchanan Barnes

Y/N's going to actually kill me. As in my liver on a plate kill me.

The meeting that I promised would only be ten minutes has now gone for forty, and by now she's probably restless, hungry, and a little tipsy.

Great, and I pissed her off earlier so tonight is going to be so much fun.

I pull a hand through my dark hair with a slight groan as the man I was doing business with finally leaves my office. I sit for a second in the semi-quiet of my room, the pounding of music and laughter dulled by the walls. I know I shouldn't have gotten short with her earlier, but damn she wouldn't let up on me with the whole "stalker" thing.

My club is the safest place for her. I would never let anything happen to her, so for her to even think that...I sigh again, shoving it from my mind. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is finding my girlfriend and making all of this shit up to her. I rise from my leather chair and walk out of my office, the dulled sounds roaring into full force.

My eyes immediately shoot towards the bar to find my girl only to see an absence of her. With furrowed brows, I sweep my gaze towards the dance floor. Even crowded with people, I don't see her. I roll my eyes instantly, knowing what probably happened. She probably went home, probably's pissed as hell at me. I brush off my suit jacket and walk up to Lee at the bar, immediately garnering his attention. He smiles at me.

"Hey boss, can I get you anything?" He asks.

"No I'm good, thanks Lee," I respond, leaning on the bar with one arm and pinching the bridge of my nose, "Have you seen Y/N? I think I pissed her off."

There's a pause that makes me look over at my bartender. He's looking at me weirdly as he slides a drink to a customer and laughs slightly.

"Real funny, boss," Lee says, cleaning out a few glasses. I straighten up slightly, my brows furrowing deeper and my jaw setting.

"What's so funny, Lee? Have you seen her or not?" I ask, quickly losing my patience. I always thought he had a thing for her, always was too-

"Are you fucking with me right now?" Lee asks genuinely, cutting off my thoughts. When I don't respond, he realizes I'm not joking and his face goes grave, "So you didn't send her home twenty minutes ago?"

The world tilts around me and every ounce of anger, annoyance, and frustration leaves me in an instant. My heart drops like an anchor at sea and I don't dare to believe what Lee's words mean.

"She left twenty minutes ago," I begin slowly, trying desperately to hold myself together and not jump to a conclusion, "With someone who said I sent them to take her home."

Lee's face is slowly falling as he realizes the situation at hand. I feel so sick to my stomach that I can barely stand when Lee gives a faint nod. My world stops and then starts and then stops again.

"I never gave that order." I breathe.

"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"

I brushed her off.

"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out. Please, stay with me."

I ignored her. I snapped at her. I prioritized work over the light of my life. I told her she'd be fine.

I left her.

Lee is saying something to me but I don't hear it as I shove away and storm over to Ed and Damien, my bouncers. My face is a painting of fury and shame and worry and panic and it's a storm that catches Ed and Damien's attention. They stop what they're doing and look to me, their brows furrowing.

"Boss, what's-"

"You let her leave?" I strangle out, my heart slamming in my chest and my fists balled by my sides, "You let a stranger take her away?"

The two share a confused glance before looking back to me.

"A stranger? Boss, the man who took Y/N home knew the code," Ed informs.

"Did you not send him?" Damien suddenly asks, his face tightening in instant panic.

He knew the code. He knew the code and he somehow got my doll, my fighter, out without so much of a warning.

And it's all my fault.

"Shut the club down, get everyone out. Call together all of our forces. Tell them-" My voice breaks, raw emotion clawing up my throat, "Tell them Y/N's been taken."

I don't wait for a response and shove out into the cold night, gasping for air like a fish out of water. I was so obsessed with the gala this week that Hydra, our arch nemesis, was putting on, that I stopped paying attention to the only part of my life that matters. I have a lot of things, all of which I could live without, but I cannot live without her.

And I left her.

I left her and now she's gone.

She tried to warn me, she tried to tell me someone was following us. She tried to get me to stay with her, to not leave her. And yet I walked away. I just walked away like she didn't even matter and I left vulnerable and alone the only person in this entire fucking universe I love. It's all my fault, and I'll spend every second of the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.

If I can even find her in time, before she-

No. I will find her and she will live. I will burn down this whole damn world if I have to, and I will not stop. Not until every person who laid a finger on my girl is dead. I will paint the world crimson with their blood until I find her, and once I do I will never, never, ignore or leave her again.

That's not a threat. It's a promise.

||| Your POV

The collar secured to my throat is too tight, the metal no doubt leaving red grooves in my skin.

It hurts worse when Alexander Pierce, the mafia lord of Hydra, tugs the matching chain leash attached to it, pulling me closer to him and almost making me stumble mid-step.

The gala is glamorous, and my gown is nothing short of it as well. Pierce even went through the trouble of having someone do my hair. What he didn't do was my makeup.

That way anyone could see the dried blood and bruises littering my skin.

It's a scare tactic, I know that. A way to signal to everyone here that he's in charge and that he can't be defied. But I think he's got a bigger reason in mind for it all, the collar and the hideous marks on my skin.

And that reason is my boyfriend.

I can practically feel people's eyes follow me as I walk as steadily as I can at the end of Pierce's leash. Despite the radiating, excruciating pain that each step incurs, I keep my body steady and my chin high. I let the policemen and officials that are on his payroll and all of the members of his mafia see my bruises and cuts. He's parading me, so I'm going to put on a damn show.

A show to hide how mind-numbingly terrified I am right now.

Behind my set jaw and my cold eyes, I'm fighting back tears. The pain is mixing with the fear of the last few days to make a perfect storm within me. I'm terrified that any moment could be my last, that more pain could await me, that Bucky might never come for me

Or worse. That he doesn't even care.

Regardless of whether or not he cares, I'm still not going to give a single detail out. Even when Pierce himself tortured me until all I knew was blood and pain and fear, I said nothing. He didn't get a single word out of me. I just sat there, strapped to an iron chair, and took it. Every blow, every slice, every shout. At times my mind spared me and allowed me to slip into the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness, but it wouldn't be long after that I awoke to my head shoved into cold water to revive me.

And here I am, now taking a seat at the Dias of his gala room beside the mafia lord of Hydra, my boyfriend's sworn rival, with a collar around my neck tied to his wrist.

The music that wafts from the live orchestra is disturbingly jovial and light, filling the air with a sense of peace that provides such a stark juxtaposition to my insides that I almost puke. I sit ever so stiffly in my chair beside Pierce, my back burning with each movement because of the new stripes across its tender flesh.

As I feel warm liquid slide down my skin, I suddenly understand why Pierce insisted my dress be a dark maroon. I thought it was as at first just a beacon to everyone to show who I was with because it was his signature color, but I know better now. It's to hide the blood that seeps from my still-healing and probably infected wounds.

"Exquisite, isn't it?" Pierce asks, and I don't even have to turn towards him to know he wears a devilish smirk. A cruel man's trademark of victory.

I stay silent.

I hear him click his tongue as he sits back in his ornate chair, "All this quality time together and all I've heard from your voice has been your screams. No matter how pretty they are, doesn't seem polite to me."

This time, I can't hold myself back.

"Neither is kidnapping another human being and treating them like a prisoner of war," I announce, my voice raw and hoarse from the screaming and shouting of the past few days, "So pardon me if I'm not feeling too polite."

It's a bold move, but I make it anyways, gambling that he wouldn't lash out in the midst of his party. A little breath of relief escapes me when he chuckles.

"And here I was under the impression you were a sweet, soft-spoken sort of woman. My sources misjudged you." Pierce responds.

Of course he's been watching me. A scheme like this doesn't happen overnight. He's been planning this for a while, now. Pierce knew exactly when Bucky would be most vulnerable, when the defenses would be the loosest. It makes me want to scream.

"You're going to die for this," I whisper, quietly but not softly. There's his laugh again.

"Oh honey," Pierce starts, his voice condescending as if I were a toddler, "Careful with blind faith. What makes you so sure Barnes will make it out of this alive?"

His words unsettle something so deep within me that if I spend more than a few seconds touching on it, I'll shatter. Instead, I turn to look at Alexander Pierce for the first time since we've sat down. My eyes are cold and harsh upon him and the shining metal of the collar that tethers us.

"What makes you so sure it will be Bucky who kills you?"

He has the good sense to look the slightest bit unnerved, and I give him a smirk of my own, "Like you said before, your men sorely misjudged me."

Before he can respond, one of the guards that stands behind us steps forward and whispers something in the mafia lord's ear. Whatever he says makes Pierce grin fiercely as he looks back to me and gives the collar a tug.

"Your White Wolf is here."

My heart jumps so hard that I forget how to function. For a moment, everything else fades and dims away, even the biting pain wrapping me like a blanket of thorns. I snap my head back forward and when I see him I swear I almost break right then and there.

Because his eyes are already on me, and they're coated with fury.

It takes every ounce of strength I have to not dissolve into tears, to not let my fear show.

He's here.

He's here.

Bucky found me.

When our eyes meet, something so primal and raw ignites in his features. He looks seconds away from shattering as his chest heaves, his eyes scouring every inch of me. I feel undone before him, as if the dress doesn't hide a single thing that Pierce and his men have done to me.

"James Barnes," Pierce announces, snapping the connection between us swiftly, "I thought you'd never come. I hope you don't mind, I think I've stolen your date for the evening."

Then he wraps his palm around the chain leash and yanks it so hard that I nearly tumble out of the chair. His hand is there to stop me as it grabs my jaw in a bruising grip. Pierce hums, turning my face side to side before forcing it forward to the crowd that now watches. Bucky is painted with dark rage and looks seconds away from ending Pierce's life.

"She makes quite the pretty pet."

Bucky begins to storm forward only for two of the guests who belong to Pierce's mafia to grip onto his arms and prevent him.

"Take your fucking hand off of her, Pierce, or I swear I'll-" Bucky growls, and hearing his voice is enough to ease some of the knot that's wound in my chest these last few days.

"You'll what?" Alexander asks, releasing my chin but remaining ever so calmly in his seat beside me, "You must not care that much for my pet, after all you were the one to ignore her."

There's a bone-crushing silence and I see that same something shatter in my love's gaze.

"You shoved her off, you left her alone," Alexander cuts out, reaching out and running a hand through my hair, "You so carelessly let her slip through your fingers and here you are pretending to care."

"What I did was unforgivable, I know that," Bucky says suddenly, and I see even from here the silver lining his eyes as he speaks, "But she is a good person. She doesn't deserve this. If you need to punish someone, don't let it be her."

"You don't deserve her," Pierce says, and I want to scream that he's wrong but Bucky cuts me off. His eyes clash with mine and I fall in love all over again.

"I know," he says so softly that I almost miss it. I try to shake my head 'no', but Pierce tightens the collar, making me whimper.

Bucky shoves off the two men holding him, composing himself and standing stiffly a good ways before us.

"Let her go, Pierce," Bucky reiterates, his tone harsh once more and his stare pure murder, "I won't ask again."

Pierce clicks his tongue beside me, letting up on my leash to let me relax slightly.

"Oh Barnes, did you really waltz in here thinking you'd walk back out?"

There's a deadly silence and I swear you can hear my heart smash into the floor even though I expected this. With every second between his last words and his next, I grow more panicked.

"I have you surrounded, Barnes. You're not getting out of this," Pierce announces. Bucky doesn't look the least bit unnerved, though.

Pierce reaches you to an ear piece I didn't know was there and touches it, "Guns at attention."

From my spot next to him, all I hear is static. There's no response coming back, and the confusion becomes evident on Alexander's face at the same moment I realize what's going on. Hope like a new sunrise breaks in me and I look over at Bucky to find him smirking. He winks at me once before furrowing his brows at Pierce.

"What's wrong, can't reach your men?" Bucky taunts.

And then all Hell breaks loose.

Guns are firing and people are screaming and within seconds, Bucky's mafia that's already infiltrated the gala hall appears from the woodwork, their guns raised and keeping the few mafia members left under gun point. Bucky just stands coolly in the midst as another deadly silence blankets the room. I can practically feel the rage draining off of Alexander.

"Get him!" Pierce suddenly shouts, and what few men are left charge at Bucky. Including the personal guards around us. The gunfire begins again, and the classy event is soon painted crimson.

I take the brief moment of chaos to my advantage and shoot up from my seat. As soon as Pierce registers that I'm moving, it's too late. Despite the screaming of my body, I sprint behind Pierce's chair and brace one heeled foot at its back. Then, before he can reach for a gun, I wrap the leash he's collared me with around his neck and pull back, strangling him with the own device he subjected me under.

His hands claw desperately at the chain and I feel my exhausted muscles trembling, but I refuse to let up. I keep holding the chain tighter and snap my gaze up in Bucky's direction just in time to see him shoot a guard between the eyes.

"Bucky!" I shout, gaining his attention instantly.

I know I can't hold Pierce off much longer, so Bucky will need to help me take him down while I've got him strangled to the chair. The metal is cutting deep into his skin when Bucky begins fighting desperately to reach us. Before he can, though, Pierce gets a purchase on the chain and yanks with such force that it sends my body flying over him and the chair. I land flat on my back so hard on the tile that the air rushes out of my lungs and every cut and tear rips open.

"Y/N!" Bucky roars, and it rattles my very bones

I gasp and groan in pain simultaneously, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. The second I can breathe again, Pierce is dragging me backwards by the chain.

"No!" I shout, reaching up and gripping the chain before yanking it.

We tug back and forth as he drags me, but I manage to hook my foot around one of the overturned chairs and use the leverage to yank the chain so hard that I hear a snap followed by a shrill yell.

I just broke his wrist.

When I pull again, the chain comes free and a weight lifts from my shoulders. I scramble to my feet, about to sprint away and towards where I last saw Bucky when Pierce's hands grip my shoulders and rip me back. I don't even have time to scream when my back is slammed into a hard wall and Pierce is before me, a knife in his unmangled hand that's pressed to my cheek.

"You little bitch" he seethes.

My chest is heaving with breath and panic as I read back and spit in his face as hard as I can. He recoils slightly and I relish in it. My happiness only lasts a second, though, because his knife is pressing into my cheek. I try to squirm but his body is pressed firmly to mine and pins me to the wall.

"I so didn't want to end you this quickly," Pierce whispers, his voice slithering against my skin.

I keep trying to be strong, to be so strong, but it's getting harder to keep up. I try to not show my fear, but it's getting harder and harder to hide. I feel myself finally breaking after the hell that these last few days have been and just when I think he's going to end it all, he's gone. In a moment, he's off of me and unconscious on the ground.

And Bucky is standing before me, his chest heaving and his eyes wild.

"Bucky," I breathe, already feeling my strength slip away.

I don't have to be strong anymore.

Bucky drops the gun he just rendered Pierce unconscious with, every inch of his face softening upon my bloody, trembling form. He looks a minute away from crying when I stumble forward and crash into him, letting myself break down in his arms that already wrap around my waist and keep me upright. He keeps me so tight to himself that there is no room between us. I bury my face into his neck and let out a sob, my tears mixing with the blood on his suit. I can't tell which of us is shaking harder, but all I can tell is the warmth and security that Bucky's hands bring me.

"Oh doll," Bucky whispers, sending a shiver down my spine, "You're alive. You're alive."

I mumble some sort of affirmation, but I can barely think straight.

"I'm so sorry, doll. I'm so sorry." Bucky repeats it over and over again, "God, Y/N I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Buck. It's alright," I whisper, but he keeps shaking his head. He pulls back far enough to meet my gaze.

"I've been shitty to you. I should've listened to you, I should never have left you. I am never leaving you again."

"It's okay, I forgive you," I repeat, brushing a bloody hand against his jaw, "Of course it's gonna cost you at least four new pairs of shoes."

At my joke, a laugh of pure relief to have me back in hands escapes his lips. I chuckle softly too, taking in every inch of his breathtaking face. A tear drops down his cheek and he leans his forehead against mine.

"I love you so much, I love you more than life." he breathes.

"I love you too. That's all that kept me breathing, loving you,"I respond, and his lips are on mine in an instant.

Even though it's only been a few days, kissing him feels like I've been in a drought and he's my water. The kiss is desperate and pleading and consuming. It steals whatever strength is left in my knees and I link my arms around his neck to support myself. When he finally pulls away, he leaves a trail of kisses to my nose and then my forehead before tugging me to himself again.

"I'm going to tear him apart for this," Bucky vows, and I know it shouldn't but I still let out a breath of relief at that.

"Is that why he's not dead yet?" I ask, chuckling softly. He does the same, kissing the top of my head.

"That's exactly why," Bucky agrees, pulling back and rubbing a finger along my cheek. He becomes serious again and I feel my heart flutter.

"When I found out you were gone, I lost myself." He says, his throat bobbing as he Cho's my face with his large hands, "Y/N, there is no me without you"

I turn to kiss his hand before leaning into it more.

"I'll always find my way back to you. You're all I have, James"

Another tear works down his cheek before he finally steps to the side. The gala is trashed, but the gunfire is over. Apparently, his men were here hours before anyone else got here. I feel my strength abandoning me, so I lean my weight onto Bucky. He feels this and immediately scoops me into his arms, holding me close to his chest.

"I'm going to kiss every one of these scars when we get back" His voice rumbles, and I smile as I lean my head further into him.

"Let's go home, my love"

And he held up his promise. He never left me again.

how to say "I love you" in x-files [148/?] ⤷ 2.17 — “End Game”

Scully — when you get this message, I’ll be too far away for you to stop me. But where I’m going I can’t allow you to follow. I won’t let you jeopardize your life and your career for reasons purely personal to me. You were right, Scully. You said a line has to be drawn somewhere and I’m drawing it for you here. I’ll contact you when I can.