What Up Witches

by licciyoc

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

I love talking to kids about disability bc

1. they often just Get It, and

2. they have 0 concept of disability as a tragedy or something pitiable.

I've watched kids get into an argument with a teacher bc they thought wheelchairs were cool. I told a kid that I can't stand for too long sometimes and they replied, "That's okay, I can't do cartwheels sometimes, but I just do other stuff then. You can sit down with me if you want". Today a girl asked me what the headphones on a classmate's desk were for and I told her that headphones are important for some kids because noises bother them, and she said she wished she had headphones at home, because her baby brothers make a lot of noise and it makes it hard to think. The idea that different people could use tools at different times is intuitive and simple and when accessibility aids are explained neutrally, kids don't see them as bad or unfortunate, they're just things that are useful.

Even mental disability!! In Kindergarten the other day one of the kids asked me why his table partner got stickers when nobody else did. I started off by saying, "Well, when you do your work well, it feels good, right? That's your brain giving you a reward," and the kid just right away went, "Oh, and the stickers are like his reward?" YES! You are 5 and have a better grasp on ADHD than most adults! Kids blow me away every day.

every mother who’s critiqued her daughter’s appearance based on ~what men do or do not like~ owes that child an apology

to have failed is a sign you tried…. the mistakes, the relationships that didn’t make it, the job you didn’t get, the plans that fell through…. you tried, you lived, you loved.

No shade to op, in fact I understand and respect where you're coming from. I personally would just be careful with the phrasing here, because it sounds like what you're saying is that some systems are faking which, even if they were, saying so causes a lot more harm than good

Instead, how I personally would go about this particular topic is that if you are a system, then there's probably something you don't remember, or something that you haven't recognized as trauma, or you have a lot of processing ahead of you, so maybe be gentle with yourself, and be open to the possibility that maybe things actually were that bad, and you weren't being dramatic, and you were hurt that badly

But that's just my thoughts. I wish everyone the best of luck on their journeys through this tangled world

PSA

This is your reminder that OSDDID and systems cannot form without trauma, endogenic systems are not a real thing. If you do not have trauma, then you do not have a system.

-Barty&Marlene

Honestly, people generally don't want much... They want to eat their favorite food. They want to go to the seaside and smell the fresh air. They want to nap on the grass and listen to music. They want to hold their loved ones in their arms, and be held in return. They want warm clothes, be occupied with a profession/a hobby that does not smother them. They want to feel safe and unafraid. Mostly, they want to live without being ridiculed, manipulated or being forced. And this is why capitalism/modern life overall is so upsetting, depressing and even destructive. Because thinking about how small and simple things you yearn for & how hard it is to even be able to have them really wears you off

one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 

part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.

and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.