“what If Kids Identify With Something And It Ends Up Just Being A Phase-?” Good. Stop Teaching And

the thing is. knowing someone experiences hallucinations or trouble reading facial expressions or communication difficulties or any other symptom CAN help you to understand their behaviour and respond to it appropriately. but knowing someones diagnosis is never as helpful as it is to listen to them when they talk about how they can best be accommodated. and if “can you please speak slower” (for example) sounds like a ridiculous request from someone without a diagnosis and a reasonable one from someone with a diagnosis. well you’re the dick in that situation

I once heard somewhere that the opposite of dysregulation is self expression

Any time that our emotions feel like they're out of control, or we feel empty and hollow, or like we're anxious or scared or shaking and tense for some other reason, or we're so apathetic to everything around us that it's hard to get ourselves to do anything, that's emotional dysregulation. A lot of people think that the opposite of that is just nothingness, but I heard somewhere once that the opposite is actually self expression, like writing about it, talking about it, painting about it, anything that lets those feelings be seen and expressed and felt and released.

I wonder if that's why art can be so healing. I wonder if writing just a little something about it whenever I have the energy for it, could maybe help.

I am a firm believer that jealousy is not a thing to be risen above or overcome. Listen to that shit. You WANT something. You feel UPSET about something. You want to advocate for yourself over others. you don't have to get over that. let it tell you what you are not getting enough of and ask for that shit and if you're still not getting it after doing so, you can put your foot down! You can have a fit, say that things aren't working, be an emotional wreck, beg for lots of reassurance, demand quality time, walk away from the relationship. You can be a jealous person!! It's literally okay! Own that shit. Some partners even find possessiveness or jealousy in a partner to be very endearing or attractive and it makes them feel wanted. It's okay to want shit. It's okay to need to be special. You are!!!

flower preservation 💐

Hey, shout out to systems with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

systems who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

systems who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

systems who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

systems who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

systems with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

systems who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

systems who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

systems whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

You are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEANDERTHAL CHILD WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME? Because they're all I've been thinking about when I'm sad for the past few days. Their existence makes me less sad.

solo

instagram @matialonsor

Some pages from my book of pressed flowers