Kaleidoscopechaos827 - The Kaleidoscope System

cats and libraries ۫ ꣑ৎ

"And they were both systems" - A beloved weasel friend

You know what'd be really refreshing to see? A story where every main character just genuinely, openly, and purely loves each other, and nobody has a problem with it or thinks it's weird. Are they polyamorous, just intensely good friends, is it sexual, romantic, platonic? You can't tell where one ends and another begins. And whatever drama there is between the main characters is about genuinely wanting the best for each other, but disagreeing about what it is or how to get it.

Like imagine a scene where a woman sees her fiancé kiss another man on the mouth and later walks up to the man like "I see that he loves you as deeply as I love him, never dare to break his heart."

And the guy, who just put together that this must be his boyfriend's girlfriend, just goes "my lady I would push my sword through my own throat before I'd let him come to harm."

And this is just depicted as a perfectly normal way for people to talk to each other and about each other.

by Kyle Bonallo (ig: @kylebonallo)

the thing is. knowing someone experiences hallucinations or trouble reading facial expressions or communication difficulties or any other symptom CAN help you to understand their behaviour and respond to it appropriately. but knowing someones diagnosis is never as helpful as it is to listen to them when they talk about how they can best be accommodated. and if “can you please speak slower” (for example) sounds like a ridiculous request from someone without a diagnosis and a reasonable one from someone with a diagnosis. well you’re the dick in that situation

I am a firm believer that jealousy is not a thing to be risen above or overcome. Listen to that shit. You WANT something. You feel UPSET about something. You want to advocate for yourself over others. you don't have to get over that. let it tell you what you are not getting enough of and ask for that shit and if you're still not getting it after doing so, you can put your foot down! You can have a fit, say that things aren't working, be an emotional wreck, beg for lots of reassurance, demand quality time, walk away from the relationship. You can be a jealous person!! It's literally okay! Own that shit. Some partners even find possessiveness or jealousy in a partner to be very endearing or attractive and it makes them feel wanted. It's okay to want shit. It's okay to need to be special. You are!!!

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

— Rudy Francisco