I Needed To Draw This Headcannon About My Favorite Joke From The Entire Franchise.

You know, when you first become obsessed with Hoshi no Kaabii at the ripe age of 13 and are mostly too busy just being excited over how cute Kirby is, sometimes it's not until you sit there 8 years later, at one week away from 21, watching old tributes about your biggest childhood hero on YouTube, where it finally dawns on you just how dark Meta Knight's story is—and just how strong he himself truly is.

This man has been through war almost as long as he's been alive. He witnessed one of his closest friends die before his very eyes in order to reclaim a sacred sword she knew she'd never be able to wield just to toss it toward him in her final living moments, knowing that he was the chosen one; the one worthy of Galaxia's power. He was forced to wield that blade with it undoubtedly carrying those painful memories, knowing that Garlude died for it, just for his sake. Years later, he was forced to kill his own best friend with that very same sacred sword after at first being overjoyed to withess his triumphant return after going missing for an unknown amount of time, possibly years, following Meta Knight helplessly watching him being captured and carried away by a demon beast—only to realize that the one and only remaining person closest to him had been tortured near to death, then corrupted and turned into a mindless, unrecognizable demon by Nightmare.

He was forced to watch his comrades die over the course of what we can only assume is at least hundreds of years in what was nothing but a doomed war from the beginning, falling one by one, until as far as he knew, he was the one and only survivor. In one of the first few episodes, when he chooses to entrust Fumu with knowing just a part of his past, we see him in a flashback, tattered and beaten against an unnatural red sky, staring down from a clifftop where smoke rises from burning ruins where we can only imagine the carnage that lies within and the things he's seen. His eyes don't hold their vibrant glow for the only time in any of his appearances. He's injured, grief-stricken, bereft. Downright heartbroken, undoubtedly.

Years later, he discovers the children of his fallen best friends, the last remaining memory of them, are alive, but both hate him and believe he is responsible for the death of their parents. And even when they're out for his life in the belief that he's a murderer, Meta Knight chooses to attempt to comfort and guide both of these bereaved children so that their hatred and grief does not turn them into demons inside and out, all without being able to defend himself... because he knows that they're right. Even if indirectly, even if unintentionally... all of their anger and hatred toward him is justified.

And yet, through all of that... He never gives up. He never lets his grief, his anger, his sorrow consume him. Despite losing everything he's ever dared to care about, despite watching the cause he devoted his entire life to fall apart before his eyes, despite his entire existence being an endless living hell... he keeps going, because in his words, he has not given up hope.

This is why Meta Knight was my hero when I was younger, and why he always will be.

Based on new canon lore that Tails has a curfew and only on new years he’s allowed to stay up because Sonic being inadequate teen parent/bro/fence learned the hard way of a growing fox need for healthy sleep schedule

It’s gonna be okay

Don't take this too seriously lol

If you didn't play TMOSTH then you might be a little confused

let’s lay flat on our ovoidal mama

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

When I post the sprites for Gummigoo will you guys promise me to behave because if @mauselet who is 99% lesbian and 1% heterosexual

Then I’m horrified of everyone

everyone I’m looking at you @vixenvtuber 🫵

Rumour has it, although the King of Ithaca had returned to his shores, his throne remained empty for the better part of a year.

My human design for Zooble

The GOAT and the b*tch