It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth. You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything. But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures. Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.
David Cain, “Procrastination Is Not Laziness” (via sociolab)
#huh #well shit
(via 85-percent)
Sunset at Hanalei Bay | Trish McGinity
Maybe we’ll meet again, when we’re slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.
(via dude-whered-my-veins-go)
I feel like allowing yourself to fall in love is like physically handing someone your mind and body and soul and allowing them to destroy you at any moment. Like here’s my heart, my brain, my knees, my eyes. Fuck me up. I’m still limping from my previous experience, but I’m doing my best to hide it because you deserve someone brand new. I’m giving you the opportunity to hurt me. I’m giving you the chance to create images I don’t want to see and have conversations I wouldn’t want to hear. I’m going to completely submerge myself in your love, and I pray to God you swim with me.
Oops (via moaka)
ocean