Silly Chance~

Social Media and Chat Noir are definitely Best Friends and nothing can convince me otherwise.

A condensed list of Things Chat Noir Has Shown Us Through Social Media:

   • Selfies with street performers he just so happened to see during patrols

   • Selfies in general of him making the grossest duck face he possibly can in front of couples and tourists, who are all just trying to mind their own business

   • Videos of him narrating what random alley cats are doing, because he’s a self-proclaimed cat whisperer and needs everyone to know (he doesn’t actually speak cat, he’s bullshitting you)

   • A vine series where the camera is pointed directly at Ladybug’s face as he starts naming off random green-eyed, blond celebrities, claiming them to be his secret identity, and catching all of Ladybug’s reactions. Her reactions become increasingly angrier as the series goes on. (The series ends when Chat claims to be Adrien Agreste and she straight up screams so loudly he drops the camera)

   • A video of him with street clothes over his suit and big ass sunglasses over his mask, arm over certified civilian Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s shoulders, who is also wearing big ass sunglasses. They’re drinking smoothies and shit-talking fashion designers very loudly. Marinette says she loves Gabriel Agreste’s work but she’d punch him in the face bc he needs an attitude adjustment. Chat chokes on his smoothie

   • An interview he does with Alya except he’s wearing a fake mustache the entire time and doing an unexpectedly amazing job at keeping a straight face.

   • Posts of him complaining about how people throw away perfectly good cardboard boxes and how truly offended he is like are you joking—

   • Posts of him gushing over how much he loves Ladybug and wow he’s definitely going to be embarrassed by those 5 years from now

   • Selfies of him in a group of Chat Noir cosplayers, the last selfie featuring the look on their faces as they check their social media and realise holy fuck that’s the real Chat Noir aND HE’S POSTING PICS OF US

   • An hour long video of him explaining why Physics Is Awesome and you should love it too. He somehow does this while cramming puns in almost every single sentence. How does he not get tired

   • A list of his personal anime recommendations, most of them unsurprisingly featuring cats in one way or another. His favourite movie is The Cat Returns

   • An ungodly amount of puns revolving around him being bi

   • An interrupted alley cat video where Marinette calls him over to her balcony and drags him inside because she wants to turn it into a makeup video. He ends up with black lipstick, flawless contouring, and beautiful eyeliner. He comes back for another video because “I really rocked the black lipstick”

   • Unintelligible posts he made while accidentally high on catnip

   • A picture, taken by a kid who found his baton, of him tangled up in a poor old woman’s ball of yarn she was using to knit a scarf. Thankfully she seems amused and not ready to beat him with her purse

   • A vine of him absentmindedly pushing things off the edge of counters, buildings, and desks, filmed by Ladybug herself without his knowledge. He’s always smiling evilly after the act

   • Badly photoshopped pictures he’s made with his and Ladybug’s faces pasted onto infamous movie covers

   • That One Time He Was On A Talk Show And Was Permanently Banned

   • A cute video of him responding to fan questions from a livestream.

   • “I do not pose all the time I don’t know what gave you that ide—” suddenly glitter falls from nowhere, he’s giving his most powerful smoulder, body draped over a gargoyle. Ladybug is staring at him from above, unimpressed

   • Videos of him antagonizing and shit-talking Hawkmoth. Akumas start targeting him viciously and he mentions in a video how fucking amazing it is that his greatest enemy is actually following him on social media, he’s laughing

   • Selfies he’s taken with elderly ladies he’s found around Paris, all of which have captions along the lines of “I met a gorgeous woman today!” or “this young lady was gracious enough to give this tomcat the pleasure of a photo in her presence!”

   • A post of him cursing out catnip and how much he hated that his friends are now drinking tea made out of the stuff like she just had to like gardening, she just had to plant catnip, she just had to share the tea with her friends, he just had to have the worst luck in the world—

   • Memes. All the memes. He likes to bring the oldest ones back, knowing full well just how horrible they are.

   • A video of him reacting to a video of people complimenting him. He’s bright red by the end of the video. (Obviously Nino, Marinette, and Alya are included. Nino and Marinette are the most enthusiastic ones out of the whole lot)

   • “Why are you so active with social media, Chat Noir? Most superhero stories don’t go that way.” “Well, I want everyone to know that I am an idiot. An imbecile. A complete and utter moron. It’s reassuring that you are all fully aware of that fact, yet still trust the fate of the city in my paws. Which, to be fair, is a dumb move on your part as well, Paris. We are all buffoons, apparently.”

Feel free to add to the list in any way you can

‘nuff said

Things Marinette Dupain-Cheng has contingency plans for:

Adrien Agreste is a serial killer

Adrien Agreste is a secret robot

Adrien Agreste is a Fae who wants to steal her soul

Adrien Agreste is the harbinger of an alien invasion

Things Marinette Dupain-Cheng does not have a contingency plan for:

Adrien Agreste says he loves her back

                   the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)

*SPOILERS FOR THE TOTK DRAGON QUEST*

I drew this as an excuse to draw Zelda in her new dress and then that never happened. ALSO THANK YOU @katydoodles FOR DOING THE BACKGROUNDS <3

The saga of “Link eating things he shouldn’t” continues!

[If you enjoy my work and would like to support me, please consider donating via my Ko-fi!]

Something that isn’t really addressed in “It takes a village” is that, while Agatha dresses pretty much like she does in canon while she’s in Mechanicsburg, she has a radically different fashion sense in Beetleburg, where she decided that in order to pass herself as a Very Normal Student, Nothing To See Here, she simply had to crib Vanamonde’s fashion sense. 

Possibly that’s just because the mental image she has for ‘respectable young adult’ is Van, and a general unawareness of the fact that, no… Van is… he’s just a fancy goth. Also these are not her colors.

But also, because she tends towards dark and cool colors, it gives her a much more matronly vibe that does help when it comes to keeping the other students in line.

Later, after they find out she’s a Heterodyne, many of the people who knew her at TPU will think ‘oh, that explains why she always dressed so creepy’, but no. No, that was just her plan for blending in. That was Agatha trying to be subtle. 

I wish there were different words for the different types of forgetting because  when I say I forgot something, I don’t mean “I forgot we had plans on Friday.” I almost always mean “I forgot today was Friday.” I know my friend’s birthday is on March 20th, but I won’t wish her happy birthday on time because I won’t know it’s March 20th on March 20th. My forgetfulness has nothing to do with not caring about/remembering events and everything to do with my inability to keep up with the passage of time.

concept #3: Time goes on, and even as he sings sombre ballads everywhere he goes, Jaskier also makes it a point to actively stay out of Geralt’s path. It isn’t easy, especially after knowing his presence so well after years of travelling together (where there used to be times when he could step onto a dirt road after months apart, and somehow still find his way back to the Witcher, no matter where he was or how far apart they were) but he pulls it off. 

People stop knowing him as the Witcher’s companion, and just know him as a travelling bard. 

He travels from town to town, village to village, city to city - and they listen to his songs but refuse to remember them; the heartbreak in every word just too much for them to commit to memory. He then leaves every tavern, every inn, every pub - feeling in his bones how his worship dwindles day by day, and how soon no one will sing for him, and how then he will simply fade from being. 

He thinks. He hopes. 

He goes to bed with a wry smile and a heaviness in his body (age, he presumes, catching up to him) wondering if tonight will be the night - only to wake up the next morning because there’s still some worship left out there, and still some song left for him to sing. So he does. He continues. He travels, and he sings. And day by day he slowly weakens - because, you see, that’s just the way brokenhearted deities go. 

But then, there will be times. Incredibly odd and extremely rare days. When he’ll be walking and suddenly stop in his steps; or he’ll be sleeping and awake with a start in the dead of night - and he will feel that familiar tug in his chest, that used to lead him to a certain someone who used to matter so dearly to him.

Who still matters so dearly to him.

And Jaskier will know that it’s time for him to make a run for it. To pick up his pace. Whatever he needs to do to get out of dodge before Geralt gets too close. Because he just can’t, you see. He just.. won’t. He’s not ready, and he doesn’t think he ever will be. He’ll put as much distance between them as he possibly can, leaving nothing but the faintest memory of ever having existed behind him. After all, travelling bards were a fairly common thing, so most places wouldn’t even give much thought to his comings and goings, let alone care enough to tell a Witcher about him if they should ask.

And he doubts Geralt would ask. Why would he?

So he’ll slip out of rooms in the dead of night, or avoid the next town he had been hoping to stop at, and keep walking until his knees ached and his feet hurt. If he has the coin for it, he’ll ask for a horse; he rarely has the coin for it, these days. He’ll keep going until his chest stops aching, until it no longer feels as if his body is split in two; part of him longing to turn around, the other determined to keep moving onward. He’ll make the next town, or even further, if he can. He’ll find a tavern. He’ll sing some songs. He’ll make enough to eat before going further on his way.

But sometimes, the ache - the tug - persists, and Jaskier knows this means that Geralt has not stopped. He knows this means that Geralt is still moving forward, ever closer. Too close for comfort. And though Jaskier knows he needs to keep moving to avoid him, he also knows his weakened bones would not be able to outrun a Witcher and his horse.

And so, it is during these times, that Jaskier will reluctantly pick up his lute, take a deep breath, then pasting a smile on his face, he’ll pluck out a fanciful tune and sing heroic songs - about a white-haired, golden-eyed Witcher - who saves damsels and fights monsters wherever he goes.

The townsfolk will laugh, and they will sing along.

And Jaskier will feel their worship bring new strength into his bones, new life into his lungs, and awaken the blood running through his veins. He’ll sing, and dance, and feel more alive than ever.

And he’ll hate every minute of it.

Because now he knows that there will be more days ahead of him. More weeks, more months to endure. More life and more time for him to waste away once he leaves this place. More nights to spend hoping that each night will be the night he finally fades from existence. 

And even moreso, he’ll hate every minute because every note he sings to earn those minutes, is a reminder of every minute he used to spend with… 

.…with Geralt.

And it hurts. It hurts to remember. It hurts to realise he’ll never have that again.

So when all is said and done, he’ll take the coin he’s made and make a run for it. Chest aching and heart pounding. He’ll hope the townsfolk somehow forget him once he’s gone. And he’ll hope that they somehow forget his music as well. 

He’ll hope they’ll forget the songs; that they stop singing once he’s out of town. He’ll hope this is the last time he’ll be forced to do this - using his worship to prolong the inevitable. It was wrong, and it wasn’t very deity-like behavior.

But most of all, he’ll hope that this time… he finally outruns Geralt of Rivia.

For the very last time. Every time. Because he just doesn’t know how much longer he can run.