Bullying Ganondorf In All Timelines

concept #3: Time goes on, and even as he sings sombre ballads everywhere he goes, Jaskier also makes it a point to actively stay out of Geralt’s path. It isn’t easy, especially after knowing his presence so well after years of travelling together (where there used to be times when he could step onto a dirt road after months apart, and somehow still find his way back to the Witcher, no matter where he was or how far apart they were) but he pulls it off. 

People stop knowing him as the Witcher’s companion, and just know him as a travelling bard. 

He travels from town to town, village to village, city to city - and they listen to his songs but refuse to remember them; the heartbreak in every word just too much for them to commit to memory. He then leaves every tavern, every inn, every pub - feeling in his bones how his worship dwindles day by day, and how soon no one will sing for him, and how then he will simply fade from being. 

He thinks. He hopes. 

He goes to bed with a wry smile and a heaviness in his body (age, he presumes, catching up to him) wondering if tonight will be the night - only to wake up the next morning because there’s still some worship left out there, and still some song left for him to sing. So he does. He continues. He travels, and he sings. And day by day he slowly weakens - because, you see, that’s just the way brokenhearted deities go. 

But then, there will be times. Incredibly odd and extremely rare days. When he’ll be walking and suddenly stop in his steps; or he’ll be sleeping and awake with a start in the dead of night - and he will feel that familiar tug in his chest, that used to lead him to a certain someone who used to matter so dearly to him.

Who still matters so dearly to him.

And Jaskier will know that it’s time for him to make a run for it. To pick up his pace. Whatever he needs to do to get out of dodge before Geralt gets too close. Because he just can’t, you see. He just.. won’t. He’s not ready, and he doesn’t think he ever will be. He’ll put as much distance between them as he possibly can, leaving nothing but the faintest memory of ever having existed behind him. After all, travelling bards were a fairly common thing, so most places wouldn’t even give much thought to his comings and goings, let alone care enough to tell a Witcher about him if they should ask.

And he doubts Geralt would ask. Why would he?

So he’ll slip out of rooms in the dead of night, or avoid the next town he had been hoping to stop at, and keep walking until his knees ached and his feet hurt. If he has the coin for it, he’ll ask for a horse; he rarely has the coin for it, these days. He’ll keep going until his chest stops aching, until it no longer feels as if his body is split in two; part of him longing to turn around, the other determined to keep moving onward. He’ll make the next town, or even further, if he can. He’ll find a tavern. He’ll sing some songs. He’ll make enough to eat before going further on his way.

But sometimes, the ache - the tug - persists, and Jaskier knows this means that Geralt has not stopped. He knows this means that Geralt is still moving forward, ever closer. Too close for comfort. And though Jaskier knows he needs to keep moving to avoid him, he also knows his weakened bones would not be able to outrun a Witcher and his horse.

And so, it is during these times, that Jaskier will reluctantly pick up his lute, take a deep breath, then pasting a smile on his face, he’ll pluck out a fanciful tune and sing heroic songs - about a white-haired, golden-eyed Witcher - who saves damsels and fights monsters wherever he goes.

The townsfolk will laugh, and they will sing along.

And Jaskier will feel their worship bring new strength into his bones, new life into his lungs, and awaken the blood running through his veins. He’ll sing, and dance, and feel more alive than ever.

And he’ll hate every minute of it.

Because now he knows that there will be more days ahead of him. More weeks, more months to endure. More life and more time for him to waste away once he leaves this place. More nights to spend hoping that each night will be the night he finally fades from existence. 

And even moreso, he’ll hate every minute because every note he sings to earn those minutes, is a reminder of every minute he used to spend with… 

.…with Geralt.

And it hurts. It hurts to remember. It hurts to realise he’ll never have that again.

So when all is said and done, he’ll take the coin he’s made and make a run for it. Chest aching and heart pounding. He’ll hope the townsfolk somehow forget him once he’s gone. And he’ll hope that they somehow forget his music as well. 

He’ll hope they’ll forget the songs; that they stop singing once he’s out of town. He’ll hope this is the last time he’ll be forced to do this - using his worship to prolong the inevitable. It was wrong, and it wasn’t very deity-like behavior.

But most of all, he’ll hope that this time… he finally outruns Geralt of Rivia.

For the very last time. Every time. Because he just doesn’t know how much longer he can run.

I wish I could call everyone who liked or reblogged this “enablers” and blame  you, but I think we all know I’d be adding more anyway.

edit: fuck this got long. and…dialoguish…

Tarvek’s superhero persona is Storm King; that’s from the other superhero au but really it’s the one true option here. I’m probably going to draw several things from that.

Gil’s is Lightning Bug, ditto(ish.)

I dunno if they’d have kamis like in ML, but for this au I do prefer their powers coming from something like that? They both have rings? Or something around their necks, if we want to echo Girl Genius fashion.

maybe the school they attend is super stuffy and requires uniforms with ties and both boys have magical tie pins. Magical tie pins which they turn or tap to TRANSFORM.

i’m really just here for magical girl boy transformation sequences tbh.

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I haven't seen the end of the game yet, but ever since I found all the dragon's tears I was burning with need to draw something from it.

Girl Genius AU where they're in fandom

1. they’re in the Heterodyne Boys fandom.

2. Gil and Tarvek are battling it out for the Most Kudosed story on AO3 but only Tarvek knows that. Gil is writing a really epic adventure/discovery gen story with lots of found family fluff and he once mentioned casually that he wasn’t super into dramatic love quintangles and politics and period-appropriate clothing and kinky erotica. Tarvek took it super personally.

3. out of nowhere this dingbot_heterodyne person shows up with ONE (1) fic and it’s 1. long 2. super well researched 3. badassly actionny 4. politically super sharp yet easy to follow 5. IT UPDATES UNFAILINGLY EVERY THREE DAYS and it takes the top spot from them both in three weeks.

4. tarvek falls in love with the plotline but is still kinda seeting with jealousy a bit so he takes to writing “missing scenes” that are all the sinful porn dingbot isn’t writing. dingbot writes him thanks and mentions how embarrassed they are and it’s totally a failing of their part as a writer but they just Can Not write the porn and they really admire his deft hand in balancing characterization and sizzling hotness. tarvek turns into their n°1 fan and starts chatting them up on discord

5. but. gil notices the email address and it’s his university and meets dingbot in PERSON and they bond on fandom glee but also general fandommy and courses tastes and two weeks later out of nowhere tarvek has to read, with his own eyes, that dingbot is DATING HIS RIVAL. they’ve been sort of co-writing porn scenes for her fic, he was guiding them through it and was so proud of their progress and they were getting to be such intimate friends and BAM. this is super unfair ;__;

6. then gil’s sister lols because hey your gf is writing porn with someone else does that count as sexting and gil is like ??? uhhh *reads the porn* *… dang* do you think your friend could also teach me the ways of writing … well not even porn just. romantic stuff.

7. tarvek ends up tutoring his two rivalcrushes in the art of erotica. how is this his life. but it’s all he will get so he accepts it, very bitterly. and ofc the more they all three talk and the more his crush on agatha grows until he realizes he’s also crushing on gil, and even WORSE he’s crushing on their romantic bond with each other. they’re such a fucking cute couple jfc how can he not ;__;

8. so he writes a modern AU bill/lu/klaus or maybe it’s a lu/bill/klaus where he’s klaus sublimating his attraction to bill into lu until he can’t lie to himself anymore and gently steps away from them both. he writes two endings. one is “lu figures it out and decides both is good” and the the next one is “that was klaus’ dream but then he wakes up to go be best man at their wedding and never says a thing.”

9. agatha isn’t even the one who figures it out first, GIL is. because that lu was way nicer than she’s ever been in canon and usually tarvek is way more deft at juggling bare-bones canon characteristics with emotional fanon filling-out.

10. it’s suddenly hard to catch tarvek to have long conversations because Real Life (or so he says) so gil and agatha decide to co-author a fan sequel where lu and bill come back from their honeymoon and were bored as sin and decide to go get them some klaus.

it’s bar none their least kudosed story ever, because oh man the Bashful does not work well with sensual OT3 seduction and also it’s not what either of their fanbases follow them for, but it does net them a reply.

the first ten lines are bitching gil out about anachronistic pantaloons. but he does get back on discord so they can ask him out properly.

Breath of the Wild Masterpost

So I know that the comics haven’t even started yet, but I already know that they’ll have more than 20 comics so rather than waste time putting the links in the assorted post, I thought I’d just go ahead and make this right off the bat!

If you’d like to read the comics in the order they were posted, click here! If you’re looking for a specific comic, the links below may help!

NOTE: Because of the open world nature of the game, the links below aren’t chronological, if you’re looking for the order, click the link above! Below comics will be listed by category (combat-related, horse-related, korok-related, etc.)

Keep reading

I wish there were different words for the different types of forgetting because  when I say I forgot something, I don’t mean “I forgot we had plans on Friday.” I almost always mean “I forgot today was Friday.” I know my friend’s birthday is on March 20th, but I won’t wish her happy birthday on time because I won’t know it’s March 20th on March 20th. My forgetfulness has nothing to do with not caring about/remembering events and everything to do with my inability to keep up with the passage of time.

Weird ideas I have at 1 in the morning after marathon-reading three emelan books in succession: Girl Genius OT3 circle of magic au.

Agatha is a smith mage, Gil is a weather mage, Tarvek is the thread mage who spins them together. Probably all students at a Living Circle temple, sim to canon. Zeetha can see and hear things on the winds. Klaus is an academic mage, can see magic, and is probably studying ambient magic. 

Social Media and Chat Noir are definitely Best Friends and nothing can convince me otherwise.

A condensed list of Things Chat Noir Has Shown Us Through Social Media:

   • Selfies with street performers he just so happened to see during patrols

   • Selfies in general of him making the grossest duck face he possibly can in front of couples and tourists, who are all just trying to mind their own business

   • Videos of him narrating what random alley cats are doing, because he’s a self-proclaimed cat whisperer and needs everyone to know (he doesn’t actually speak cat, he’s bullshitting you)

   • A vine series where the camera is pointed directly at Ladybug’s face as he starts naming off random green-eyed, blond celebrities, claiming them to be his secret identity, and catching all of Ladybug’s reactions. Her reactions become increasingly angrier as the series goes on. (The series ends when Chat claims to be Adrien Agreste and she straight up screams so loudly he drops the camera)

   • A video of him with street clothes over his suit and big ass sunglasses over his mask, arm over certified civilian Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s shoulders, who is also wearing big ass sunglasses. They’re drinking smoothies and shit-talking fashion designers very loudly. Marinette says she loves Gabriel Agreste’s work but she’d punch him in the face bc he needs an attitude adjustment. Chat chokes on his smoothie

   • An interview he does with Alya except he’s wearing a fake mustache the entire time and doing an unexpectedly amazing job at keeping a straight face.

   • Posts of him complaining about how people throw away perfectly good cardboard boxes and how truly offended he is like are you joking—

   • Posts of him gushing over how much he loves Ladybug and wow he’s definitely going to be embarrassed by those 5 years from now

   • Selfies of him in a group of Chat Noir cosplayers, the last selfie featuring the look on their faces as they check their social media and realise holy fuck that’s the real Chat Noir aND HE’S POSTING PICS OF US

   • An hour long video of him explaining why Physics Is Awesome and you should love it too. He somehow does this while cramming puns in almost every single sentence. How does he not get tired

   • A list of his personal anime recommendations, most of them unsurprisingly featuring cats in one way or another. His favourite movie is The Cat Returns

   • An ungodly amount of puns revolving around him being bi

   • An interrupted alley cat video where Marinette calls him over to her balcony and drags him inside because she wants to turn it into a makeup video. He ends up with black lipstick, flawless contouring, and beautiful eyeliner. He comes back for another video because “I really rocked the black lipstick”

   • Unintelligible posts he made while accidentally high on catnip

   • A picture, taken by a kid who found his baton, of him tangled up in a poor old woman’s ball of yarn she was using to knit a scarf. Thankfully she seems amused and not ready to beat him with her purse

   • A vine of him absentmindedly pushing things off the edge of counters, buildings, and desks, filmed by Ladybug herself without his knowledge. He’s always smiling evilly after the act

   • Badly photoshopped pictures he’s made with his and Ladybug’s faces pasted onto infamous movie covers

   • That One Time He Was On A Talk Show And Was Permanently Banned

   • A cute video of him responding to fan questions from a livestream.

   • “I do not pose all the time I don’t know what gave you that ide—” suddenly glitter falls from nowhere, he’s giving his most powerful smoulder, body draped over a gargoyle. Ladybug is staring at him from above, unimpressed

   • Videos of him antagonizing and shit-talking Hawkmoth. Akumas start targeting him viciously and he mentions in a video how fucking amazing it is that his greatest enemy is actually following him on social media, he’s laughing

   • Selfies he’s taken with elderly ladies he’s found around Paris, all of which have captions along the lines of “I met a gorgeous woman today!” or “this young lady was gracious enough to give this tomcat the pleasure of a photo in her presence!”

   • A post of him cursing out catnip and how much he hated that his friends are now drinking tea made out of the stuff like she just had to like gardening, she just had to plant catnip, she just had to share the tea with her friends, he just had to have the worst luck in the world—

   • Memes. All the memes. He likes to bring the oldest ones back, knowing full well just how horrible they are.

   • A video of him reacting to a video of people complimenting him. He’s bright red by the end of the video. (Obviously Nino, Marinette, and Alya are included. Nino and Marinette are the most enthusiastic ones out of the whole lot)

   • “Why are you so active with social media, Chat Noir? Most superhero stories don’t go that way.” “Well, I want everyone to know that I am an idiot. An imbecile. A complete and utter moron. It’s reassuring that you are all fully aware of that fact, yet still trust the fate of the city in my paws. Which, to be fair, is a dumb move on your part as well, Paris. We are all buffoons, apparently.”

Feel free to add to the list in any way you can

Most Mandalorians don't have the most comprehensive understanding of the force, but after Luke becomes Prince Consort, the Mand'alor's advisors quickly figure out its uses.

Advisor: Your Highness, the leaders of the trade and merchant guilds that border Hutt space will be coming to treat with you.

Paz: Fuck those guys, are we planning on fucking their slaving asses over?

Advisor: Yes sirs.

Din: Excellent, what's next?

Advisor: Sir, we would like to request The Bad Vibes Detector for the meeting, to weed out lies and omissions.

Din: No.

Bo-Katan: Do you want to fuck those little shits over or not?

Din: *deep sigh*

Din: *leaning into his comm* Sweetie, can you come here please? We need a wizard to scare some assholes.