Ketusbetus - Formaldehyde Forum

I gotta get lost. I feel like getting lost would be a new adventure. Of course it's just a little voice in my head wishing for more in life. Never being satisfied with what I have, I'll probably lose a lot someday and realize what was lost. I'll realize what is to come is just a new shedding of the old. I'm starting to find that it's an old plot that needs tending to.

Can not tell where my head is now. It's blank, crystal clear and still active. Would this be one of those "moments of clarity" some people seem to have? Beats the fuck out of me.

I catch myself sometimes stare off into the blurred world as my head seems to float off somewhere. Could be a total zen moment. Possibly it's my brain having a break from everything lately, just a small moment where time, space and assholes can't bother me and so I can start sorting out things on it's own. Yeah, could be that.

At a red light tonight, I found myself staring into the lights of cars in front of me. It was like the world was frozen, slowing down and I could feel a certain stillness to my body.

Just chilling there, heart beat slowed down, empty minded and off to another layer of the atmosphere or even the great unknown of space. Just drifting in an ocean of nothing, as the ripples lap over me. I'm not fearing the deepness of where ever my mind is. Though I should question where my mind is sometimes..

Then the light turned green and my body pushed down lightly on the gas pedal and I was off to home. I was in autopilot mode.

I'm not confused by any of this. Just mere parts of silence and peace in my life that happen at times I least expect them to. In fact, great moments tend to happen randomly and die out quickly for me. How I grasped onto that idea is neat, but it's just a fact of my life. When it happens to you a lot, you tend to learn from history. Wise up to what life throws at you.

Though some times, I wish I could have something good to last me a little longer. Life goes on whether I know where my mind is or not.

An odd moment at a bank.

I believe it's from reading too many horror novels or horror movies or possibly even both, but I get these ideas that lead my imagination to run away and imagine the worse possible thing to happen while in public. Like last Wednesday, at my local TD Bank I went in to deposit a check and to fix a problem I have with online account. After depositing my check I asked the bank teller where I can get help with my online account to which I was directed to the area for customer service.

A woman came over and asked me to come back to her desk. When I got there I explained my situation and she then went to the site and whatnot so I can show her that I can't log into the site. After that we had to sit through a long wait for a call to go through to some service to aid me fixing my online account. As I sat there I recalled how crappy my day has been. Especially the part where some empty headed girl spilled Dr.Pepper all over the comic I was lending to a friend. I remembered how she didn't even care and how I wanted to end her life. But, back to the bank.

There I sat, really enthralled in how the day has been going so far. The woman from costumer service mentioned how bad the day has been going so far and how bad the whether's been. I agreed with her. The small chat ended and I sat in silence. Behind me was a bald man from costumer service helping out a mother and daughter (I presume) with someone's account. My mind then went on it's natural course and made a monster out of this guy.

I can see how this would've happened, the man, an employee from the bank one day gets sick, violently sick. Possibly from eating the wrong food or just mysteriously becoming ill from working overtime. if that's even possible. I then thought up how he would be talking to the mother and daughter and cough some mucus up, he'd spit it in a tissue and throw it in the trash can at his desk. As he talked about setting up a new account or something but then he feels his throat crawl, yeah that's right, I said crawl. What comes next is up for debate on what it means. A sudden red growth pushes it's self out of his mouth and slams onto the desk in front of the mother and daughter. The woman who was waiting on a call would scream and I would turn around to see what the freight was about. Then I'd see it and my mind would be messy with an explanation.

The red glob would then lift up and the man would still be attached to the creature and he would most likely be dead or still alive to be the vehicle for the creature. It would then be imposing in the air as the entire bank stared at it. Following natural horror laws, the creature would attack most likely the mother and/or daughter. Possibly for more sustenance or to spread it's offspring like a parasite. At that moment I would run for the doors as the creature attacked the mother and daughter or anything closest to it. Security would fire shots at it and possibly kill it or well...yeah you see where I'm going with this.

As I dissected this whole idea I focused on why the customer service man would have to suffer the terrible fate of being host to such a parasite. I figured that this whole thing would happen since banks are much like parasites and are symbiotic to whom ever has an account with the bank. Or I was just really having a bad day and I figured that would be the most impossible thing to happen and if it did then my day would get worse times two.

DISGUSTED by obscene disrespectful artwork I have repeatedly seen with my own two eyes of Oogie Boogie with a humanlike dicko or vaginia despite the fucking fact we DANG DAMNED KNOW, BEYOND ANY CONCEIVABLE GODFUCKED DOUBT, CARL!!! that his junk would be a snake or a caterpillar or a couple of snails stuck together!!!!!!!!

Shit happens then you die.

My old man