Latest Posts by koorosie - Page 4

This is sooo beautiful. I don't have much words to describe my feelings but the story leaves a certain amount of yearning in my heart. Like the heart longs for a Jungkook, who will heal me from my misery and help me to learn how to live again fully. Much love 💗💗

I love you too. (Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook One Shot)

Requested by @adsku

Summary: You don’t want to love again, thanks to Kim Taehyung and your best friend’s little secrets but Jungkook doesn’t want to give you up. Not when you always deny the three words he keeps telling you.

Pairing: Jungkook×Reader, Taehyung×Reader

His heart beat rhythmically in his chest, your head resting on the expanse of his skin and your hands wrapped around his waist. His fingers drew circles on your back, a smile gracing your lips at how content you felt. 

“I think we should get a seven tiered cake on our wedding.” Taehyung voiced, earning a chuckle from you as you looked up at him. His lips turned into a pout, eyebrows etched together in a frown. “I wasn’t joking." 

You shook your head, picking yourself up and straddling him. Taehyung rested his head on the headboard of the bed, his eyes raking over your body which was covered only in undergarments as an aftermath of the sexual activities you had engaged in, just moments ago. He placed his hands on your hips, smiling at the promise ring that glinted on his finger. "You haven’t proposed to me, Taehyung, it’s only promise rings.” You replied, your voice soft and breathy in the dark room. Taehyung rolled his eyes, getting up and pushing you onto your back before hovering over you. His rubbed his nose against yours, his forehead resting upon yours.

“It’s a promise ring. Which means I promise to be with you forever. I’ve booked you for myself so someday, we’re definitely getting married.” He explained, holding your wrists in place on either side of your head. You bit your lips, your heart racing in your chest as you admired the man before you. Taehyung was simply beautiful. The charming personality was just a bonus. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe that it had been three years since your relationship began, every day being something new with Taehyung by your side. All your friends always told you that he was a gem, especially Jane, your best friend since forever. You treasured your love, knowing that you’ll never be so smitten with anyone else. 

“Okay then, my future husband. What else do you have in mind?” You asked sweetly, laughing when Taehyung’s head fell to your shoulder, a soft groan escaping his lips at the nickname. “You make me absolutely insane. I love you so much.” He mumbled, his lips leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck which had you fluttering your eyes shut. His lips trailed down your body, his hands letting go of your wrists and caressing your skin.

“I love you too.”

____________________________________________

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, running your fingers across the smooth material of the light blue dress you were wearing. Your silver stilettos glimmered in the lights, your hair neatly styled at the back of your head. Your make up was subtle, enough to hide all the flaws that tainted your face. You sighed, concluding that you finally looked perfect to be attending a wedding. 

“And who gave you permission to look so gorgeous? Now I’ll have to fight every man who looks your way.” You rolled your eyes, a faint smile playing at your lips as you turned around to see your boyfriend standing by the door, clad in a dark grey suit. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling fondly at you, a dimple digging into his cheek. “Says the man who has every patient of his swooning over him.” You teased, grinning as Jungkook walked towards you while laughing. It was ironic, actually, seeing as you used to be his patient too. The difference was that Jungkook was the one who started wanting something more from you. 

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I just want to write something. But I don't have the motivation :(

ancient history ➔ jeon jungkook

actor!jungkook x actress!reader angst + smut + fluff + exes to lovers + actor!au warnings: jk is lowkey an asshole + reader is PETTY + break up mention (they are exes so like) + unprotected sex (y’all pls wrap it b4 u tap it) + possession kink + size kink + impreg kink (?) + mention of when zayn left one direction :( wc: 12.8k

➔ there is no way to deny that you and Jungkook have chemistry. the two of you used to be a couple, after all. what happens when after a not-so-amicable breakup the two of you are cast as opposite leads of a movie?

based on ancient history by set it off!!

a/n: ah yes, i wrote this a while back but this is still one of my fave fics ever and one of my fave songs ever too tbh. hope y’all enjoy this one too!! also you might be like omg ive seen this before?? yes, its a repost from my old blog moononthejoon :D AND YES, the tw for when zayn left 1d is vERY MUCH NEEDED

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Oh my god, this is soooooooo cute 😭😭😭😭. The fluffiest fluff ❤️❤️

Utopia | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x reader - Expecting parents!AU

Genre: Fluff

Rating: G

Word Count: 623

Warnings: None

A/N: This is my first contribution for @ficswithluv Bangtan Bingo! I have the song “Euphoria” on my card and this was the first thing I thought of  - I needed some fluffy Jungkook so here you go! I hope you like it 🥺

AND A HUUUUGE THANK YOU to the amazing @shadowsremedy for beta reading this 😍💜 i’m honored to call you my friend and have you as a beta reader 🥺😭

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many moons | jjk

summary: your father sets off to find a way to get you the moon, not realizing he has already given it to you.

> royalguard!jk x princess!reader

> fluff, angst a bit, slightly suggestive / wc: 11.2k

> warnings: brings up death but we r good dw, kisses nd making out, hickeys, they’re jus two lovers in love <3 :] + jk nose appreciation . this is rlly self indulgent fluff i think

note: hello. LOOK AT JUNGKOOK HE IS SO DREAMY OH MYGOD moving on this idea jus came to me very randomly 😭 this is based from the little fairytale many moons by james thurber <3 obv i changed a lot of things but the gist of the story is there mostly in first ¼ hehe :] that’s all . lmk what u think ^__^

—

“my daughter, tell me what i must do for you to be healed from your illness. i will do absolutely anything to bring back my lively daughter who used to live in the garden. my sweet, sweet daughter who loved the children and was adored by the townspeople.” your father weeps pitifully, kneeling on the floor beside your king-sized bed. his hands hold one of yours in a tight grip, scared that you might disappear out of thin air if he was to let go.

he has called all the doctors within your ruling, and even kingdoms from far and wide. he has tried all forms of entertainment. magic, theater, and the arts. he resorted to allowing spells to be casted upon you, but you only grew sicker as the days passed. the bright light in your eyes your father once adored, the only source of inspiration and motivation in his life, has died out. you are his only family left. his most precious treasure. and he would do anything in power as the king to give you a joyful and comfortable life.

you stay quiet the entire time he cries out, your eyes looking far, far away. several royal guards stand on the grounds below your balcony as you wished your father to let you open the door and keep the curtains drawn, providing extra security for you to gaze at the moon longingly every night. the moon, your very best friend. the moon, who watches over you and smiles when you try to catch it in the palm of your hand. the moon, who changes in shape, gradually, from crescent to full - giving you hope that someday soon, you will become full once again. the moon, who you want to take with you everywhere you go.

“i will get you anything your heart desires.” the king says. “is there anything your heart desires?”

“father, the moon.” your voice soft, but weak. “bring me the moon, and i will be healed.”

the king perks up upon hearing your voice. you barely speak these days (it makes the pain worse), therefore it’s a delight for him in the rare occasions that you do. you make it count, he thinks to himself as you’ve given him a glimmer of hope in the brink of him giving up.

he stands up and dusts his knees, fixing his clothes to make himself look presentable again. and because he has many great wise men who have always gotten him everything he asks for, “then, my child, the moon you shall have.”

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Miracle in Room 901 || JJK

Summary: Christmas is never the same when you have to spend it alone.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of child-loss/miscarriage, character in coma, hospitals and machinery.

Note: I don’t do angst a whole lot, so I’m not sure this turned out the way I hope it did.

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“Guess what I’ve got?”

You walk into the room with a large box in your hands. The weight of it makes your arms shake slightly, though your bright smile doesn’t leave your face. You set the box on the closest chair and open it. Colorful shiny decorations spill out over the top. You don’t bother cleaning up the ones that fell to the floor, rather, you dig through the box to find a specific item: the wreath your mother gifted to you a few years back. After you had moved out and gotten married, your mother has helped you create a collection of holiday decorations, most of them for Christmas.

“What do you think, in the window?”

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EUPHORIA | JJK

It’s Sunday. Jeongguk was supposed to be at the gym, serving looks. You were supposed to be at the church, serving the Lord. But you two were at the mall, looking for baby toys. You guessed this was your punishment for letting him stick his dick inside of you instead of just using an adult toy.

Alternatively:

“We share the same painful views. Won’t you please stay in my dreams.”

word count: 2.6k (one-shot) PART OF INTRO SERIES

pairing: husband!Jungkook x wife!reader

genre and content warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff, married au, (forced marriage) mention of premarital sex, pregnancy, abortion, Catholic guilt, death, and mental illness.

Sunday was church day.

This was what your whole family made you believe ever since you were young. They were firm believers of God. In fact, your first word wasn’t like what most babies said.

Jesus. This was your first word and your mom wasn’t even complaining. She loved to brag about it to other lectors and commentators. Your father, a lay minister, also took pride sharing the same story over and over again.

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ever ever after | 01 (m)

banner done by the wonderful @eerieedits​

summary; a disney enchanted!au, where a cynical divorce lawyer’s life is turned upside down when he sees you hanging from a disneyworld billboard. looking for your prince, you shake up jungkook’s life by warming his life and warming his heart. disney cliches, harsh realities and animal sidekicks ensue pairing; divorce lawyer/dilf!kook x princess!reader genre/warnings; fluff, crack, angst, dad!koo, modern fantasy au, fairy tale au, jungkook’s a hot dad but a hot mess, this is absolute chaos, humor in its worst form, sexual exploration, smut in the form of female masterbation in the flowery-est way possible, virgin!reader, a whole lot of disney puns w/c; 11.6k a/n; thank you thank you thank u for yet another supportive and loving year. im happy to end of the year with ever ever after, and to start the year off with ever ever after! bonus points if u find all the disney references! happy new year all, stay safe and stay sweet

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Aww this one is so cute. Bam is just so precious 🥰😍. Somedays ago, I watched a video on YouTube where a dog was behaving just like Bam with his owner. The dog was "protecting" the pregnant woman, barking every time her husband tried just to touch her a little. And that was so funny. I saw the resembles here. It's really a nice, fluffy story that lights my mood 😍💜

A Bam Protected Pregnancy ~ Jeon Jungkook

You instantly felt the weight of the world lift from your shoulders as you laid yourself down across the centre of your shared bed. The comfort of the mattress seemed to mould around you perfectly, taking the pressure off of the small of your back as your hands settled over the top of your growing baby bump, letting go of a tremendously large sigh too.

It didn’t take long before Jungkook’s figure appeared in the room too, smiling down at you as he took in the view of you, leaning against the frame of the door. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he saw the relief in your expression, bringing your eyes across to look at him.

After a few moments, Jungkook walked into the room, perching himself down on the end of the bed, careful not to knock you at all. His hand settled against your ankle, running the pad of his thumb gently across the width of it, pushing down gently too to try and relieve some of the pressure that was beginning to build as your pregnancy went on.

“Are you tired?” Jungkook asked as you readjusted the pillow that your head was resting on to make yourself more comfortable. “Why don’t you have a nap for a bit? I don’t mind sorting out some bits for dinner?”

“I can’t keep sleeping,” you laughed in reply, “it’s the middle of the day too, the midwife told me that I’ve got to keep myself nice and busy.”

His head shook back across at you, often wanting you to focus more on what your body wanted rather than what the midwife told you, knowing that no one knew your body like you.

“What about if I lay down with you for a while?” Jungkook proposed, “I had a bit of a restless night of sleep myself last night.”

You smiled weakly, “I know what you’re doing, and it’s very tempting.”

“Come on,” Jungkook grinned, standing up from the bed and encouraging you to shuffle across to your side of the bed, “I know you can’t resist a nap and a cuddle with me Y/N.”

You groaned loudly as you moved the weight of you and your bump across the room, making just enough space for Jungkook to be able to lay beside you. “I can’t believe I still have a month of moving around with this thing.”

“You’ve got to start taking it easier at some point you know.”

“That’s not me, I’m not used to lazing around.”

He smiled sympathetically as he moved his arm to ret against the small of your back, “for the sake of our baby, I think you might be able to get used to it though.”

“I couldn’t even take Bam for a walk the other day because I was exhausted,” you reminded him, “the two of us used to be able to walk around for miles.”

“And once the baby gets here, the three of you can walk around for miles instead of two.”

As if he knew the two of you were talking about him, it didn’t take long before you heard the heavy footsteps of Bam race up the stairs, following the sound of your voices through into the bedroom, immediately running up to the bed and jumping onto it too to join you both, walking across to the small bit of space that was between you both.

A snort of laughter came from you as Bam began to nudge Jungkook out of the way, stretching his legs out to create plenty of room beside you, leaving Jungkook scrambling to try and stretch his arm out far enough so that he could rest it over the top of your bump.

“Excuse me,” Jungkook laughed, gently patting against Bam’s waist as he sat himself down, without any regard for Jungkook at all. “Can you believe this? I’m being pushed out of my own bed,” Jungkook groaned, trying his hardest to wriggle around Bam, only for his leg to poke out every time that Jungkook tried.

“You know what he’s like, he hates anyone being around the bump,” you smiled as Bam settled right beside you, leaving no distance between the two of you.

Throughout the whole of your pregnancy Bam had been like a security guard by your side, keeping an eye on everyone. If anyone dared to touch your bump then Bam would be straight at them, barking loudly to warn them off of doing any harm to you.

“He’s going to be the most protective big brother in the world,” Jungkook smiled, happy to release his grip around your bump as his elbow began to ache, “he means business too.”

“Even you aren’t allowed anywhere near the bump anymore,” you joked, glancing across to face him with a smile, “he’s certainly not enjoying you being close to the baby either.”

“But that’s my child.”

“That means nothing to Bam,” you teased.

Jungkook’s eyes rolled back across at Bam, “how am I supposed to get through the last month of your pregnancy and take care of you when my dog doesn’t let me get anywhere near the spot where my child is growing?”

“Maybe I don’t need you to look after me, maybe I’m well taken care of enough with Bam just sticking by my side and keeping an eye on things for me.”

“He’d probably do a better job than me too.”

You chuckled quietly as the smile on Jungkook’s face grew, watching as yet again Bam stretched his legs out, digging into Jungkook’s knees, giving him no choice but to move his legs further away from your body, leaving him further away from your bump too.

“I reckon I might just be able to reach from here,” Jungkook whispered, slowly reaching his arm up in the air, keeping the noise quiet in the hope that Bam wouldn’t notice.

Your eyes widened back across at him, “he’s aware to just about every movement, I really think you underestimate quite how aware he has been whilst I’ve been pregnant.”

“Just watch, I’m going to prove that wrong.”

You followed Jungkook’s arm down as he tried to stretch around Bam so that he could relax his hand over your bump. Just as he managed to make contact with the top of your bump, Bam’s eyes opened back up, noticing the unfamiliar hand that was against your bump.

A loud bark soon came from him, reaching his front paw up and batting Jungkook’s hand away from your bump, warning him to keep his distance. Jungkook immediately moved his hand away, leaving you in hysterics by his side in response to how protective Bam was.

“At least I know once this baby is born, nothing will happen to them with Bam around,” Jungkook spoke up, trying to make himself feel just a little bit better. “Although I would appreciate if maybe he would be a little more understanding of the fact that that bump doesn’t just belong to him, but it belongs to me too.”

You stretched your hand back, running your hand through the front of Jungkook’s hair, only able to offer him a smile as Bam settled back down, cosying into your side.

“You’ll get your time with the bump one day, I promise.”

—

Masterlist

It was really sweet and comforting. Yeah OC has insecurities and that's understandable. But Jungkook is such a gentleman. He handled her so nicely. A perfect boyfriend 💜

:/

You were hoping you had a little more time.

"You know, you talk about your best friend a lot but I've never met her," Jeongguk observes, sitting beside you in the booth despite it being just the two of you.

Why do you care is what you want to ask, but you know logically partners meet best friends.  You've met Jimin and Taehyung.

"Yeah, I guess our schedules have just never lined up," you shrug, feigning casualness, cutting into the piece of chicken you're eating.

Jeongguk hums, reaching out to wipe at the corner of your mouth when you get a little messy, "It'd be nice to meet her.  I know she's important to you."

The sentiment is sweet and proves that Jeongguk cares about you and other facets of your life, but the suggestion makes you sick to your stomach.  You're afraid that if they meet…

"I'll see when Yoojung is free, maybe we can all do dinner," you suggest quietly.

Nine months.  You'd gone nine months without them meeting, without Jeongguk realizing he had picked the wrong friend, and now your little bubble was about to pop.

"Sounds good baby, you know my schedule is flexible so just set a time and I'll be there," Jeonggum grins cutely before he leans in and kisses your cheek sweetly.

Your heart breaks.

-

You and Yoojung have been best friends since you were kids.  You're good for each other; you've always been quiet, waiting for the right moment to speak, and Yoojung has always been free with her thoughts; you're a bit of a hot head and Yoojung takes time to process her anger; you're a dreamer and Yoojung is a realist.  You guys balance each other and you don't think you'd be where you are today without her.

Your self esteems are the polar opposite.  Yoojung knows who she is and is confident in that whereas you wish, sometimes, you could be someone else.  It makes you feel guilty, but you harbor a bit of resentment for the easy way she treats herself, something you can't do.

Your fears of Jeongguk leaving you for her aren't unwarranted either; your relationship track record shows that the last three boyfriends you've had had met Yoojung and promptly broke up with you once they realized who they could have had.  Nothing had come of it, Yoojung wouldn't give them the time of day as your ex, but it happens.

And it probably will happen again.  Jeongguk and Yoojung are similar in a lot of ways and you're loath to admit it, but they probably complement each other better than you and Jeongguk do.

You don't know if you'll be able to survive the heartbreak this time around.

-

"Are you okay, love?  You've been quiet," Jeongguk notes, smoothing his shirt down in the mirror.

You both are dressed up, getting ready to go to dinner with Yoojung.

"Hm?  Yeah, I'm fine," you answer, messing with the hem of your own dress.  You don't know why you bother, once Jeongguk sees her he'll forget you even exist.

Jeongguk is quiet for a moment, taking the time to roll his sleeves up even though he's going to have you fix them anyway.

"Are you sure?" He starts tentatively, "it hasn't just been today.  You've been a little spacey this week."

It's because I'm about to lose you, and I don't think I'll be able to cope.

"Yeah, Gguk, I'm okay," you smile at him before you tie some of your hair up, knowing you'll get hot sooner rather than later.

Jeongguk nods and let's it go, going to the dresser where he has a few of his watches laid out to put one on.  You spray a bit of perfume on and slide into a pair of cute wedges you got on sale.

Jeongguk stops you before you leave the bedroom, cupping your face gently to tilt your head to look at him.  Even in wedges he's taller than you.

"I just wanted to tell you you look really pretty tonight.  I can tell you've been practicing with your makeup; your wings are getting really good," Jeongguk kisses the tip of your nose and despite everything, despite this night being the beginning of the end, you melt into him.

"Thank you, baby," you murmur, pushing yourself into his chest for a hug.

"Also, can you roll my sleeves up?  You do it better than I do," he pouts and you can't help but laugh.

I love you.  Please be gentle when you leave me.

-

Jeongguk pulls Yoojung’s chair out, and then yours, kissing your cheek before he sits beside you.  The two of you are facing her.

"Oh, a gentleman, how nice," Yoojung teases.

You smile, picking up your menu as Jeongguk slings his arm over the back of your chair, his fingertips brushing against your shoulder in an act of comfort.

"So, let's address the elephant in the room: you two are best friends and I have to impress you so you'll give me your blessing," Jeongguk starts off, as serious as one can be, and Yoojung throws her head back as she laughs.

"We're not that archaic, babe," you shake your head, "Yoojung trusts me to make my own decisions."

"Now hold on there- oh, yes, good evening, I'd like a glass of white wine, sweet, name doesn't matter."

The waiter nods at her, "Yes ma'am, and for you two?"

"Water, please, no lemon," you smile.

"Do you guys have beer?  I'll just take a bottle, and a glass of water."

"Where was I… oh, yes!  Hold on a second, missy, maybe I should be archaic.  After all, it's been, what, seven months and we're just now meeting?"

"Nine," Jeongguk corrects, before you have a chance to, "to be technical, it'll be nine months in a little over a week."

"Oh my god, are you one of those people?  A counter?  That's so cute," Yoojung coos and you blush, turning in your seat to face him a little more when his arm tightens around you, kissing your temple.

"Shut up," you grumble.

"Oh my god, you're both that person.  Didn't you get matching necklaces for 100 days?  Talk about gag worthy," she teases, good naturedly.

"Shut up," you giggle, but you can't help but reach up for the chain around your neck.

They're simple gold chains, nothing too fancy or ostentatious since neither you nor Jeongguk are into flashy jewelry, but they mean the most to you.  You feel a pang in your heart and decide not to dwell on the future.

The waiter comes back with your drinks and you all order.

"I love cheat days," Yoojung sighs dreamily, "I haven't had pasta in an entire month."

"Oh, are you cutting out carbs?" Jeongguk asks and you swallow heavily, already knowing where this is going.

"Yes!  I've been trying to gain some muscles and so I'm eating more red meat but less carbs.  I haven't had bread in a few months now, but I can't cut pasta out for good."

"Oh, you're trying to gain muscle mass?  I mainly focus on cardio, but I do a bit of strength training.  If you're interested and have time, we should…"

You were prepared for the exclusion and easily zone out, focusing on a painting near you.  It's a pretty sunset, though it seems a little out of place with the other pieces in the restaurant; the others are all abstract flower designs, but this one is a realistic depiction of a sunset over water.  You like it.  It's pretty, despite being an outlier.

"Baby?"

You turn back to the conversation at hand to see Yoojung and Jeongguk both looking at you.

"Sorry, did you ask me something?"

Jeongguk tucks some of your loose hair behind your ear, eyes roaming over your face, before asking you quietly, "Are you sure you're feeling alright?  Do you have a fever?  Are your allergies acting up?"

"Yeah, Jeongguk, I'm sorry, I'm fine," you assure, but he holds your gaze a little longer, so you try to tack on, "it's just… been a week."

"Oof, work been rough?  Wait, don't you guys work for the same company?"

"Yeah, it's how we met," you remind her and she nods excitedly.

"A story of department crossed lovers, right?  Finance meets marketing?"

"I don't think that's really how we would describe it," you mumble, petulant.

"The first day we met was the day your department's copier broke, right?  And you had to come use ours for a meeting you had to go to.  Our copier has different default settings than your department and I remember how frazzled and absolutely adorable you looked, trying to figure out how to work it to get to that meeting on time.  I knew I had to help you, because we're coworkers, but also because I wanted to know more about you."

It sounds so romantic when Jeongguk puts it like that, a modern day meet cute.

"That's stupid cute," Yoojung says bluntly, before she teases you with, "didn't it take you a few weeks to believe Jeongguk was hitting on you?  Didn't you tell me he had to come right out and say "listen, I think you're cute and you're not picking up on my hints, let's go on a date"?"

"Don't say it like that," you can feel the embarrassment as plain as day on your cheeks.

"Baby, you are kind of oblivious," Jeongguk joins in, "but it's cute though.  I love watching your face when you finally realize something, like a literal light bulb over your head."

You squirm a little in your seat at the attention and Jeongguk coos at you, leaning in to kiss your forehead.  He lingers, so you know he's sneakily trying to test if you're feverish.

"Okay, enough about me please," you beg, before you indicate to their drinks, "get drunk and leave me alone."

They laugh at your comment and by that time, your food has arrived.  Conversation dulls just a bit as you all tuck in, but Yoojung starts it back up easily enough like she always does.  You knew they would, but they seem to be getting along well, and it let's you zone out a little again, enjoying the soup you got as you think about your upcoming week.

You wonder how long it'll take for Jeongguk to break up with you.  The last boyfriend had met Yoojung and broke up with you that same night, but you think Jeongguk does genuinely care enough about you that he'll wait at least a little bit.  A week, probably.  Should you start boxing his stuff up now?  He typically stays with you, because it takes a while for you to get comfortable in new environments and it had been easier for you to invite him in.  You don't have too much stuff at his apartment and if things end quickly, you're pretty positive they're things you don't need.

You let out a quiet sigh and Jeongguk immediately looks over at you.

"How's your steak?" You ask, before he can ask you anything.

"It's good, perfect medium rare.  Want a bite?" He asks, but he's already loading his fork up, scooping some mashed potatoes as he does.

He holds his hand under your chin to catch anything that falls and you try not to blush at the way Yoojung is cowing you two.

"Mmm, it is good.  Oh God, those potatoes…"

Jeongguk grins, loading his fork up again with just potatoes, and you grin happily as he feeds you.

"How's yours?  It's the seasonal soup, right?  What was it… butternut squash?"

"Apple pumpkin bisque!  Ggukie, it's so good, you have to try it," you carefully push your bowl towards him, eagerly indicating for him to take a spoonful.

"Feed me," he whines, poking your side, "why do I have to baby you but you can't baby me?"

"I didn't ask you to," you mutter petulantly, but you carefully spoon some up, even blowing on it before tilting it into his mouth.  There's a strange glint in Jeongguk’s eyes, and you can't help the way your heart stutters when he blinks at you as he tries to wink.

"Delicious," he licks ridiculously at the spoon and you quickly draw back.

"Okay, new rule, no kink stuff at the table," Yoojung announces loudly and you want to curl up in a ball and die when a waiter passes by and throws your table a scandalous look, "food play?  Really?  That's not one I expected out of you.  Or is it that gross domesticity you two have going on?  Is that a kink?  Being disgustingly in love?"

Jeongguk laughs loudly as you slide down in your seat, hiding your face.

Yoojung continues to embarrass you over dessert, bringing out the big guns and pulling up pictures from your guys' childhood to go with her stories.

"Oh my God, babe, babe your cheeks!  Why did you get rid of them, they're so cute," Jeongguk declares dramatically, leaning towards you to pinch obnoxiously at your cheek, "grow them back."

It's fun, reminiscing with Yoojung and seeing how excited Jeongguk gets over what seems like mundane moments to you.  It's been awhile since you and Yoojung have just sat down and talked and it's nice to have Jeongguk present, even if there's a bittersweet feeling.

Yoojung isn't one for much fanfare so when it's time to say goodbye she kisses your cheek and waves at Jeongguk.

"Oh, here baby, go warm up the car, I'm going to the bathroom," he tells you and you nod, taking the keys from him.

Jeongguk doesn't take long, sliding into the driver's seat and groaning when he feels the hear in his seat, "Ah, you take such good care of me, that feels so nice.  Are you staying over tonight?  I can just drive us to work in the morning."

"Yeah, that'll be fine.  I should still have some clothes to change into," this'll also give you a chance to start taking things you don't want to leave behind.

The rest of the drive is quiet, with Jeongguk sliding his hand into your lap to hold your hold, thumb rubbing sweetly against your skin.

I love you, he draws against your skin, and you try not to cry.

You've brushed your teeth and washed your face and now you're brushing your hair out as Jeongguk hogs the bathroom.  You're dressed in some of his clothes to sleep in when you notice both of your phones sitting on the dresser and decide to plug them in for the night.

As you pick up Jeongguk’s phone, a message preview pops up and a lead ball drops in your stomach.

From: Yoojung

That sounds good, she's visiting her mom this weekend so it's the perfect time for us to meet up.  I can't wait!

-

It's like you blink and a week has gone by.  If you stop to think about it, you honestly don't remember the finer details of the last few days.  You went to work and then went home.  You think you received some texts but you don't remember from who or if you responded.  You're lucky you even remembered to feed Cobweb, but it would have been difficult to ignore your loud mouth cat.

Friday, Jeongguk tries to catch you in your office to talk about your weekend away, but you bury yourself in extra tasks so you don't have to see him.  It's better this way.

Your mother had been upset you canceled, but you know you don't have the energy to act like everything is okay.  You don't tell Jeongguk or Yoojung about your changed plans; it's not like you mattered to them in the first place.

It's the rejection, you think at first, from Jeongguk that hurts most.  Almost nine months and all it takes is a pretty smile and teasing eyes for him to just throw you away.

It's the anger, next, you have trouble swallowing down.  At him, for having the balls to set it up.  At her, for agreeing.  The betrayal runs white hot through your veins and you have half a mind to confront them.

But then the sadness quickly sets in and you cry.  You cry because you loved them both with your whole being, and they just shoved it aside for momentary gratification.

Jeongguk sends you a cute text telling you to have fun with your mom as you're cleaning out your closet, shoving his stuff into bags.  You're trying to be careful with them, but it's hard to concentrate when you feel like you're drowning.  You don't answer him, just place the bag by the door and flick open another one.

He's left a lot of his electronics and you make sure to be careful with his laptop and camera.  His other stuff you're going to set outside the door and tell him to pick up before its taken, but this stuff you'll make sure he gets back.  Either through work or you'll take it to Yoojung for her to give back to her new boyfriend.

Oh God, what of her stuff do you have to pack up?

-

The sunlight filtering through your curtains momentarily transports you, and you could swear you feel the phantom touch of your lover.  But when you open teary eyes to face an empty bed and a destroyed room, reality sets it.

You have a text from Jeongguk, asking if you're okay and if you've already left for your mom's that you promptly swipe away.  You'll deal with him later.

But later seems to come too soon.  Jeongguk had tried to call, had even left a message that he hadn't heard from you in a few days and he was worried.  The bile rose high in your throat when you realized they were probably together already, that they were shacked up for the weekend under the guise that you were away, stealing kisses like thieves.  It makes you dry heave.

A few minutes after he calls you send your final text.

To: Ggyukkie

I think we should break up.  I've left your clothes and stuff outside my door.  I'll drop your laptop off at work.

And then you block him.  And for good measure, you block Yoojung too.

Despite the sun still being out, you call it a day, tired beyond relief.  You curl up on your side of the bed, the side closest to the door because being near the window made you nervous, something Jeongguk never made fun of you for.  The sheets smell like him, though, and even though it hurts you gather his pillow up in your arms to smell it and you cry.

You cry from the betrayal, from your insecurities being fed by their actions, from the sadness seeping out of your pores and staining your sheets.  You just wanted a little more time.  You felt like this could have been it, he could have been the one for you.  You had contemplated the thought at first, letting Jeonnguk have another lover if you couldn't fully satisfy him, but even you think that's too pathetic.

It's easier to just let him go, to accept the hurt now instead of prolonging the inevitable.

Jeongguk, apparently, has a different plan.  You can hear him knocking on your front door and calling out to you all the way from your bedroom.

"Baby... I know you're home.  Open up, we need to talk about this text."

You absolutely do not want to do that.  Why is he making this more difficult than it needs to be?  Shouldn't he be happy that he doesn't have to plan to sneak around behind your back anymore?  You stay resolutely in bed, curled up around Cobweb and Jeongguk’s pillow, listening to him knock for a few more moments.

Finally he says, "Okay, I understand you're going through something, take your time.  I'll wait out here until you're ready."

And that's not really something you expected him to say at all.  He can't seriously be camping out in front of your door, waiting on you.

It takes you a long time to get up and check, body achy and head throbbing from having been in the same position for so long.  Your apartment is cold and you wonder when the temperature started to drop, but you're not surprised you hadn't noticed.

You make your way to the front door, heart pounding.  You've never been the best with confrontation and you had been prepared to write Jeongguk and Yoojung out of your life for good, not face one of them head on.

When the door clicks open, he stands quickly from his seated position, eyes wide as he takes you in.  You struggle to hold eye contact, so you drop your head and step aside, meekly waving him inside as he drags the bags with him.

"Your stuff should all be here," you motion to the bags, aware of the way Jeongguk is intently staring at you, "Let me grab your laptop and-"

"Y/N," he says softly, tenderly, "baby, what's going on?"

You have to hold your breath for a moment, willing yourself to not cry.  Your voice still comes out in a whisper, "What does it look like?  We're breaking up."

Jeongguk steps closer to you, still wearing his shoes and jacket even though those are usually the first things he dumps on your floor when he comes over.  He doesn't actually touch you, but it's like you can feel phantom finger tips running up your arms and it makes you shiver.

"I don't understand, what's going on?" He reiterates, ducking to try and catch your gaze.  You're resolute in the staring contest you're having with the floor.

"I don't know what else to tell you besides that," you snap, just wanting him to leave so you can get this over with.

Jeongguk hums for a moment, before he asks, "Is it something I did?"

You stay silent and Jeongguk nods.  He stands back up to his full height and you expect him to grab his stuff, but now he's taking his outer layers off.  You give him a wide eyed look as he hangs his jacket and ruffles his hair.

He's walking into your living room, heading for the couch as he says, "It seems sudden but it's not.  I should have noticed sooner, the quietness, the way you were spacing out, the lack of texts.  That's my fault, I'm sorry."

You're dumbfounded, watching him get comfortable on your couch, man spreading in a way that you hypocritically don't hate only because he's the one doing it.

"Your stuff," you say kind of helplessly.

"Don't worry, I'll unpack it when we're done," he tells you and you get mad.

"There's nothing to unpack, we're over," you cross your arms, feeling your heart beat like crazy.

He hums again and you click your tongue in annoyance, at the easy and almost lackadaisical way he's behaving.

"What are you even doing here?  Don't you have a date or something?" You bark and his eyes snap towards you, observing your stance.  You're hunched protectively into yourself, still standing by your front door.  You're wearing an old shirt of his, one you stole months ago.

"What date?" He asks calmly, not rising to the bait when you roll your eyes haughtily.

"Don't pretend.  I know.  I-I saw the text," your voice is wavering, hurt washing over you, "'She's visiting her mom, it's perfect to meet up.'  I can't believe you."

Jeongguk makes a quiet ah sound, nodding his head, "You saw the text from Yoojung."

He says it so casually.  You quickly brush a tear from your eye.

"I did.  So, go away.  Take your stuff and g-go be with her," you hiss.  Your throat is so constricted from the effort it takes to not sob that you don't know how you manage to get any words out.

He watches you for a moment, before he sighs and straightens up on the couch.  He pats the cushion beside him.

"Come here, come sit with me," he requests and you immediately shake your head, "Baby, please?  I want to show you something."

"I don't want to see it," you're still shaking your head, "I want you to go, I don't want you here."

You can finally see cracks of frustration on his face but he schools his features quickly, patting more insistently at the couch, "Let me show you this and if you still want me to go, I will."

You debate for a long moment.  You have no idea what he could possibly show you, or why he's still trying so hard when you've caught him red handed.  He patiently waits for you to decide and with a still tightly wound body, you make your way over to him.

You don't sit close to Jeongguk, but this doesn't seem to bother him as he pulls his phone out, scrolling through something quickly.

Finally, he hands you it, shaking it slightly to make you focus on what looks like a text conversation, "Here, read this."

You see Yoojung’s name at the top and your heart lurches as you violently push his hand away from you, "No."

"Baby, please, I want you to see for yourself."

"See you cheating?  Are you out of your fucking mind?" You bite, but he's somehow still staying calm, trying to push the phone into your hand.

"Please, read it," he almost begs.

You struggle with him for a few minutes, in which you seriously debate grabbing his phone and chucking it as hard as you can at the wall, but you don't want to pay to fix either.  With a deep scowl you swipe the phone from him, tears already clinging to your eyes as you prepare to have your heart broken.

To: Yoojung

Great!  Here are a few pictures I've liked, but I know she likes more simple stuff

There are three consecutive screenshots sent, of rings from local jewelry shops, all showcasing beautiful rings.

Yoojung had taken a while to reply.

From: Yoojung

Yeah these aren't bad, but I think she'd like something that matches the necklaces you already have more you know?

Yoojung had sent a few screenshots as well, with rings you admittedly really did like.

To: Yoojung

Those look way better.  Are you sure it's okay for me to use your voucher?  I feel like you should save it for yourself

From: Yoojung

Does it look like I have a partner to buy couples rings with lol it'll just expire if it's not used soon

From: Yoojung

Sorry I have to be there since it's in my name

To: Yoojung

Don't even worry about it, I'm just thankful you're helping me.  I think she'll really love them :)

From: Yoojung

I think so too :)

You blank his phone, letting it fall onto the couch between you as you cover your face and sob.  Jeongguk finally let's himself wrap his arms around you and pull you close, cradling you against his chest as you fist his shirt.

You can vaguely hear yourself apologizing, but it's hard to understand over the way you're crying and gasping, body trembling against his.  Jeongguk soothes you gently, kissing the top of your head and massaging your back as he lets you cry, rocking the two of you.  It seems so silly now, so innocent, and you accused the both of them of something so horrid.

When your tears have rescinded and you're left with red eyes and puffy cheeks, Jeongguk pulls back to look at you, "Baby, why on Earth would you think I'd ever cheat on you?"

You nibble on your bottom lip, ashamed.  Jeongguk doesn't push you as it takes you a moment to answer, voice weak and exhausted, "Because-because they always do."

"They?" He raises an eyebrow, fingers light as he sweeps your hair off your forehead and tucks it behind your ear.

"Exes.  Maybe not cheating but… but they always leave.  For her," you whimper.

He looks surprised and you turn away, unable to face him, as you continue, "I'm sorry.  I-I didn't think you'd stay.  I thought you would go.  To her.  I thought you already had."

Jeongguk releases a long and controlled breath, knotting his hands in the hair at the base of your skull so he can turn your face gently back towards him, "I'm sorry I didn't give you enough reasons to trust me."

You start crying again, unsure of how to respond to that.

"I don't know what else I can do," he continues, "to let you know I love you, and that I'm not looking for anyone else.  Do you feel this way about everyone?  I can't cut off people just to make sure you don't get jealous."

"It's just… it's just Yoojung," you whisper.  Jeongguk knows you well and while he has hold of you so you have to face him, you can at least glance away, "only her."

Jeongguk nods and sighs, "That isn't healthy, baby, you understand that right?  I want to be friends with Yoojung because she's your best friend, nothing more."

"I know," you whisper, but patterns are hard to ignore, "I know.  I tried but- but I just-"

You cut yourself off, biting your lip.  Jeongguk lowers his forehead to yours, resting for a moment before he asks lowly, "Is that why you wouldn't let us meet?"

You sniffle as you nod and Jeongguk nods with you, having already figured it out.

"Okay," he pulls away from you, settling you comfortably on your couch cushion as he pushes himself up.

You watch him with sad eyes, fiddling with your fingers as you say, "I understand if you want to break up now, I-"

Jeongguk gives you a soft look, "I don't want to break up, baby.  This situation hurt, yeah, but I can understand where you're coming from and I understand that your first instinct was to protect yourself."

He smiles as he leans down towards you, "We can work on this, okay?  With time and communication.  But you have to try too, it can't just be me."

Jeongguk chuckles slightly at the shocked look on your face, taking your fingers in his hands and kissing the pads of each one.

"Now, I'm going to make you some tea; it should help with your throat," he stands up and gives you a cheeky look, "and then I have to go shopping for something."

You watch in amazement as he heads into your kitchen, rummaging around in it noisily.

"Oh, and unblock me, would you baby?"

-

Jeongguk left you with a cup of tea and a sweet kiss.

"I'll be back to unpack my stuff, okay?" He teased before he left, wiggling his eyebrows.

You had curled up on the couch, exhausted but feeling light.  You both can and can't believe how much of a fuss you had made, but you feel better now, having talked to Jeongguk.  Or, well, being confronted by Jeongguk.  Good thing your boyfriend is headstrong and stubborn or you would have ruined your entire relationship.

You're dozing off when your doorknob rattles, it having stayed unlocked after Jeongguk left.  He walks back in like nothing had happened, like you two hadn't fought at all, just grabs the bags of his things and heads back to your room.

You stay curled up on the couch, comforted by the sound of him moving around in your room and humming lightly to himself.  In no time at all he's joining you on the couch, changed into a pair of sweatpants from the jeans he was wearing.  He squeezes in behind you, securing a strong arm around your waist when you almost topple off from his jostling, before he's placing his head in the curve of your neck.

Jeongguk is normally affectionate, but he probably feels more needy, like you currently do, in the aftermath of your fight.  You grab the hand around your waist and interlock your fingers, anchoring you two together.  Jeongguk sighs, happy, and nuzzles into your neck, placing small kisses against your skin as he does so.

You don't know what to say, but he doesn't say anything either, just turns the TV on for background noise as you both hold each other.  You both have said enough, you can let your actions speak for a while.

-

On your nine month anniversary a few days later, Jeongguk gives you your not so secret present, and you still cry over it.

He looks supremely pleased as you both slide your rings on each other's right ring fingers, Jeongguk brushing your tears off after.

"You know," he murmurs in between small kisses, as you struggle to calm yourself down, "we should think about moving in together."

Something Wicked This Way Comes

An unexpected visitor arrives on Halloween Night. 

And the Truth shall be revealed. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 6,829

Genre: established relationship, supernatural elements of horror, angst, smut, a liiiittle bit of fluff

Warnings: jungkook is wearing a lot of leather, mentions of death, mentions of depression, verbal insults (not between reader and jk), a little bit of spookiness, clit rubbing, penetrative sex, slight cum play, mild/moderate levels of angst. 

A/N: hiiiiiiii I am back? Sort of? I am in the DEPTHS of my first semester of grad school but I had to release this because it’s for a very special lady aka my best friend @bulletproofbirdy​!!! Today is her birthday and she deserves way more than this riot of a fic but it has Jungkook in tight leather pants and a whole lot of positive emotional development (both of which she is a big fan of). Rachel, my dear, I hope you enjoy this. This is entirely dedicated to you. Love you lots. 

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invisible string  ಌ   jjk  ╱  𝐈.

ಌ       summary: a decade wasn’t enough to rid you of the pesky, silly and not so little crush you harbored for jeon jungkook during your miserable teenage years. even now, when he’s a totally different person from the geek you used to know.

ಌ       back to the series masterlist.

𝐈.   it’s still not over for me.

ಌ       pairing: jjk x reader (f). ಌ       genre: childhood friends to lovers |  high school reunion au  |  angst + fluff. ಌ       rating: pg-16. ಌ       word count: 2,6k. ಌ       content warning(s): swearing/heavy language (a lot!!), angst & co., mentions of unrequited love, brief mentions of bullying, themes of jealousy, passive aggressive text messages, slight depictions of a cold/fever, just a whole lot of miscommunication as a plot & that’s all for now!

ಌ       author’s note: it’s here! and it’s much shorter than i anticipated for a first chapter, but within good reason: it’s very plot heavy and i wanted to save up the next few scenes for the second chapter. plus, nothing like building a little mystery, eh? ;) i want to thank you all for being so so patient, so loving & so warm towards me. bonus mentions to @lavienjin​ for their endless support & @gothbabejk​ for hyping me up! i love you guys. (and again, i’m very sorry for the short first chapter). enjoy!

ಌ       taglist: @fangirl125reader​ @helenazbmrskai​ @babyrosieareroses​ @blue-jade @vantezza @diorejeon​​ @akshstudios​ @queenmasterxx @ggukkieland @daggersandicedcoffee @kookxin @illegurlbangtan​ @supernoonanyc @pinkbubblegumuniverse @bloopkook @bbangtanlove95 @kirbykook  @haeilove @moonchild1 @bbtsficrecs @siadreams @namjeonii @crmyclit @suzysuee @jimilter @girlontheblock @ruruvia @heyitsjesc @stinkyeren @nayaty @taehyungseggs​ @bonobonoyaaaahh​ @hautae​ @shreyuuu​ @captainsjoongs​ @nochuel​ @namkook713 ​ @mageprincess7​ @itsbuffsanta​ @koorosie​ @claricedelune​ @fan-ati–c​

– summer of 2009. –

The foundations of your heart are as rocky as the tiles of the rooftop which holds the weight of your bodies leaning against one another. The midnight breeze hasn’t been gentle in these first few days of summer’s end, not in the way you expected it to.

Hours of sleeplessness began to catch onto you, clinging onto Jungkook’s body for more support. He’s as solid as a stone, holding his gaze to the purple dawn sky awaiting the sunrise. You can’t remember which one of you had the stupid idea to climb onto the roof to watch the first hours of the morning, but it’s not as weird as you thought it’d be.

It’s tempting to close your eyes right as the sun threatens to cross the horizon, reminding you of the last few days of summer, your last high school year and your only one best friend.

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The Next

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jungkook  / Reader

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: this is just a short drabble about dad!Jungkook, based off something which happened in a game of BitLife LOL

Word Count: 1,391

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I’M GOING TO LOSE IT

take my hand

( let’s see where we wake up tomorrow ) 

summary: you lose your memory in a car crash, and Jungkook desperately tries to keep both of your lives intertwined. this in itself proves to be a challenge, especially when you can only remember him as the idol you once adored from afar. 

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: idol au, established relationship au | angst

warnings: a memory loss au, there’s angst but it’s a happy ending don’t worry i would never do that to you guys 

word count: 11k

.

Jungkook never paid too much attention to those moments in life where he would figuratively hit the wall and knock the wind out of himself, until he gets the call from the hospital. And then he’s running, dashing fast and wild as quickly as his legs can take him, his mind clouded with so much fear, so much apprehension that even when he can no longer breathe he forces himself to keep running. He feels as if he might lose his mind, already grappling with deniability over his situation, the only thing that can remain consistent throughout his mind is you.

“Are you Jeon Jungkook, Y/N’s emergency contact?”

Jungkook stills, pausing in his momentary movement to wipe the sweat that has formed across his face in recovery from the intense dance practice session all the boys have just ended. “Uh, yes I am,” He answers, furrowing his eyebrows together at the seriousness of the situation, his disposition changing in such a drastic manner that all the other boys stop what they’re doing as well to watch the maknae. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m letting you know that Y/N was recently involved in a car accident and was rushed here under critical condition. She’s undergoing surgery now but—!”

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM SEOKJIN !

Oh God, who is cutting onions beside me? 😭😭🤧. This is short but written so well. All the emotions have been captured here so beautifully. I love everyone in this fic 😭. Some tears slipped unknowingly from my eyes after reading the final line.

filed under: it’s emo hours

notes: i’m sorry in advance but ya girls an angst hoe 

your daughter, you quickly learn, is her father’s carbon copy. maybe that’s why she loves you so much.

yoongi doesn’t know how you do it, because maya’s at that age where she can sense something is wrong without being able to place it, let alone express it. it’s such a tricky age to manoeuvre but if anyone were to navigate through so seamlessly, it’s you. that’s what worries him.

“i can take her while you’re at your appointment,” yoongi says, not really an offer but a statement. he’s taking her like it or not and he’s going to buy her copious amounts of ice cream one way or another.

you smile at him, a thank you and i love you in one, and it’s moments like that with your hair undone and the house quiet that yoongi thinks his love for you will suffocate him. he watches you twirl your fingers through maya’s hair while she sleeps on your lap. “it’s okay, i cancelled last night. i wanna stay home with you two tomorrow.”

yoongi does that thing where his mouth thins into a line and his cheeks dimple unhappily. “___.”

“mm?”

as much as he revels in that faint cheekiness, remnants of who you used to be, he forces the words out. “no skipping. you promised me you’d go to every session.”

a sigh. “i know.”

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“No, I mean, we usually did the acceptance speech when there’s no one around, and all of a sudden, there are bunch of people and it’s noisy and I was so out of it. My brain circuit completely stopped working” — 211122 vlive, jungkook (trans. cr. eternalsummerjk) YOU DID SO WELL! WE'ARE SO PROUD OF YOU JUNGKOOK!

This is so cute. I am having butterflies in my stomach. Ahhh! There's so much emotions between Jungkook and OC. Loved it 💜💜

what you want

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: post breakup au | fluff

warnings: depictions of alcohol consumption 

word count: 5k

a/n: taken from “things you said while we were driving” on my old blog

.

In a way, Jungkook knows you’re on the other side of the line even before he answers the phone. One could argue that it’s because he remembers your strange and cute and endearing habit of always calling him at ungodly hours of the evening for absolutely no reason at all, or how its been a few months since things ended between the two of you and he still jumps at the notification of text messages and still catches glimpses of you on the street. 

While all those things are true, he probably knows it’s you because he has yet to change the ringtone on his phone that corresponds to your calls. That way, his action of leaping off the couch and making a dive for his phone is slightly more justified as he slides the answer button and presses the device to his ear. “Hello?” He exclaims breathlessly, cursing himself out just a moment later because he didn’t even think to cover up the eager quality in his tone and probably sounds like he had been waiting around for your call—which he has but you didn’t need to know that. 

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Brown-eyed Baby | 01

a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

pairing: single dad!jk x reader

genre: exes 2 (friends 2) lovers, smut, angst, fluff.

word count: 11.4k

masterlist

part ½ <previous | next>

warnings: feelings, handjob (it’s a lo fic what’d you expect), penetrative sex, switch!jk, switch!reader (but mostly slightly dom!jk and sub!reader((((would u believe????)))) uh, breeding kink… possessive/jealous (but mostly insecure) jk, feelings, abandoned koo :(, koo’s cute child.

© brown-eyed baby is copyright jeonstudios 2020, all rights are reserved. this fic can not be modified, re-posted or translated without my permission.

author’s note: for the bts ghostie writers net challenge “dynamite dads.” my alloted trope/genre/member was “exes/old flames,” smut with jungkook. there’s gonna be a sequel.

The newly purchased box of sneakers lies heavily in the plastic bag that swings from your grasp. During yesterday’s surprise storm that you managed to find yourself in, your left foot had gotten suspiciously more wet than the other, and when you got home, you realized there was a big hole in the sole. How it got there and when, you have no idea.

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pov : husband!jungkook deems it okay to unbutton his shirt like this in front of your virgin eyes

i can’t wait to tell you, ‘i told ya.’

summary: Jeon Jungkook is a successful realtor with a big house, nice car, colorful dating life, and a spunky 7-year-old daughter to boot…he’s also your best friend who you used to be in love with. Of course, he was never made aware because you swear it’s all in the past…until it isn’t. But going on a cruise with Jungkook and his daughter whom you adore should be harmless. Absolutely nothing can go wrong…Right?

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader genre: fluff, angst, crack, idiots [i say that with luv for my characters] word count: 16.2k  rating: pg-13 tags/warnings: singledad!Jungkook, bestfriend!Reader, a child [Mai] is present throughout the entire story, implication of absent birth mother, serial dater JK, so much pining, pg cussing like three times, conversation about sleeping around/risking pregnancy, legal-aged drinking and getting drunk, hurtful words, heated argument, isolation, blurb about reader struggling to eat, Mai experiences anxiety [I promise she is okay]..kind of a tongue kiss, lots of cheesey…much fluff and angst all because muster JK wrecked me

credits: the picture of JK is from tearleaves blog [literally love their blog sm] I made the banner [I am not a graphics profesh smh]

Thank you to the realest one, @hyungieyoongi, for not only wanting to beta-read this insanity for me when I enlisted her for help but for hyping me up while doing it. Her editing gave this story clarity ;; I will only allow myself to be bias-wrecked by Yoongi if it’s coming from you :p

a/n: I have to make this disclaimer just due to the warnings above; the portrayal of Jungkook in this story is purely fictional and does not reflect who he is in real life nor do I claim to believe it does. Also, this story is not apart of my dad!bts series, it actually follows his summer scenario. GUYS. I wish I was kidding when I say that this story was simply created because I was under the influence of sowoozoo/muster JK. I am so beyond excited to share this cracked out fic with you, I truly hope you all enjoy it and just have fun reading it. Please drop a line to let me know what you think! It would mean the world honestly. ok les get it~

“You’re doing a great job, Jungkook,” you pat his tattooed arm.

Jungkook looks back at the drawing, giggling to himself. Caught in his stupor and the innocence of his daughter, he comes to, looking at you; “these last seven years would have gone a lot differently if we didn’t have you though.”

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It is so cute. My stomach is full of butterflies !! Ahhh 💜

Sunday Morning

Every Sunday, Jeongguk went to the laundry room. The space was empty, a peace he could only find in the early hours of the day, but the quietude didn’t last long when his heart beat a little faster at the sight of you. 

▸ PAIRING: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

▸ RATING & GENRE: PG-15 / GA ; Fluff, College AU

▸ WORD COUNT: 6,895 words

▸ A/N: A soft, unadulterated tribute to Jeongguk’s obsession with laundry. Story is told in snippets of mornings over weeks in a semester. Jeongguk is a music major and all his covers are linked so please enjoy ♥︎

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Come Home

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst (JK screws up and Reader needs some space, lots of emotions ofc follow) + Fluff + Established Relationship AU

Word Count: 2.0K 

A/N: I just was really feeling like writing some ~angsty~ JK because I have been doing mostly fluff lately, so here we are. 

—

You were silent on the drive home from the restaurant, eyes firmly planted on the view outside of the passenger window. You could feel Jungkook’s eyes on you at the next stoplight, his head turning to look at you. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it and moved his eyes back to the road when the person behind him honked. He hadn’t noticed the light turn green.  

It was your six-month anniversary, and you had made reservations at Jungkook’s favorite place. You had made sure everything would be perfect – the staff knew to let him in through the back entrance and lead him to a private room where a table for two was set with candles and a bottle of champagne.

The two of you hadn’t been able to spend very much time together lately, both of you busy with work. Wrapped snuggly in his embrace a few weeks ago, he had told you that this anniversary was important to him, a priority. He promised he wanted it to be special for the two of you.  

You arrived early and sat alone for 15 minutes. Then 30 minutes passed. Then an hour. You tried calling Jungkook to no avail – it went straight to voicemail over and over again. You were annoyed at first, but it quickly turned to worry, anxious that something bad happened to him. Maybe he was in a car accident or was injured while rehearsing.

It wasn’t until you called Jin in a panic that you got an answer. The boys had finished work two hours ago, Jungkook was in the studio with Namjoon working on a new song. You gritted your teeth in anger as you heard Jin knock on the studio door, presumably poking his head in to tell JK that you were on the phone and that you were worried about him.

“Babe, I’m so sorry, I got caught up in work and completely forgot. I’ll come right now. I promise I’m on my way…just stay–” Jungkook was frantically apologizing into Jin’s phone.

“I want to go home,” your tone was calm, collected, downright chilly.

“I’ll come get you,” Jungkook said after a pause.

“Fine.” 

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Lovely! It was such a lovely fic. Agh the characters, their relationship with one another are just on point. There crazy banters and funny personalities are so gracefully highlighted. A very well - written fic. It's like a full movie. Amazing <3

Quarter Life Crisis

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre/warning: slow burn friends to lovers!au, friend zoning, being dense AF, swearing & sarcastic bantering, a smidge of angst, explicit implications of smut

word count: 25k 

A/N: guys. i’ve never written something this long and in depth before and i honestly don’t know how to feel about it. but i do know i have a newfound respect for fic writers. i poured so much time and effort into this, and can only imagine what other writers go through so please remember to show your fave writers love for all their hard work! 

In the movies, the recently graduated, mid-twenties protagonist sets off on the journey of life and seems to immediately land a fantastic job, find a stellar unit in an even more luxurious apartment complex, gets a fancy car with a name that’s impossible to pronounce, is in a long term relationship from college and is going to receive a proposal within the next few months (but doesn’t know it yet), and basically, has life all figured out. If movies are going to portray young adult life like that, then that’s ideally what your twenties should be like, right? Being young, educated, ready to take on the world, further discovering yourself and finding true love.

This, however, is not what you imagined your mid-twenties to be like.

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Hiraeth (M)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmate/College Au, Light Angst, Fluff, Soft Smut

Words: 18K

Description: We are always yearning for someone, even if that person may not exist in this tangible realm. 

A/N: To whomever stumbles upon this piece of my heart, I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay :)

Warnings: Mildly Explicit Sexual Content

Soulmates.

Apparently everyone had one.

And everyone would have the name of their destined other half inscribed on the tender skin of their inner wrist when they turned 18.

Everyone…minus you.

It had remained the sole most exciting thing about turning 18 ever since you learned about the exhilarating phenomenon, something you had been looking forward to more than the pile of presents you knew you would be receiving on said day, more than the “surprise party” you knew your friends would be throwing you, and more than being the center of attention for a solid few hours like all the other birthdays you’ve experienced in your life so far.

It was supposed to be one of the few things in life that are guaranteed, analogous to a type of promise which does not revolve around uncertainty or a surefire plan that is carried out without fail, an occurrence not influenced by outside forces and has been written in the stars since the beginning of time. Its assurance is assumed, which is also why its ultimate letdown was able to spur so much damage.

Because on your 18th birthday, in place of the sparkling letters of the name you could practically feel on your tongue, painted in the vibrant colors of your most beautiful dreams, you are instead left with a black horizontal line-  dull, ominous, and utterly frightening.

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It was so cute. Like a warm hug. Really loved it <3

please... love me | jjk x reader

title: please… love me

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: emotions are difficult and intense. which you find out the hard way. but sometimes, they can lead to something beautiful.

rating: PG-13

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, slight angst

warnings: none i can really think of

a/n: idk where this came from. but here you go.

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That was intense and sharp. And the twist... Ahhh *chef's kiss*

Stressed and Pressed | JJK

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: 18+ / Mature / Explicit

Synopsis: The job search is already frustrating enough. Preparing for the interviews. Anxiously waiting for callbacks. You really don’t need this smartass competing for the same job and pressing your buttons. Perhaps the most frustrating thing, though, is that you can’t stop imagining what it would be like to have him pressing other kinds of buttons instead… 

Word Count: 4.9k

Genres, Content Warnings, & Themes: office worker!au, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, graphic language, smut (public sex, fingering [female receiving])

Author’s Note: For dear Roomie’s / @mochilatae​​’s ask! Sorry this is so late. Furthering the dom!JK agenda. Hope you enjoy!

Permanent Taglist: @purpleheartsfortae​​ @btseditsworld​​ @greezenini​​ @missbickerbocker​​ @dearbambideer​​ @helenazbmrskai​​ @morti13​​ @skyys-universe​​ @somewhereofftheglobe​​ @imaginativedreams​​ @dreamamubarak​​ @m-yg93​​

​

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Wow it was such a beautiful story. Full of so much emotions and feelings. Beautifully written. Loved it 💜💜💜

how long will we fall

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 14k

glimpse: if it’s fate, it should already be set onto your skin — that’s why jungkook’s initials are already on your finger. he’s always there for you, but not only for you. if you’re his fate, he’d rather not have it.

alternatively, jungkook’s your soulmate, but he doesn’t want to be.

[ soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love (at first), a lot of angst, more fluff n wholesome moments, emotional constipation, yearning, jealousy, swearing, reverse cards that make u cheer, redemption arc, i swear to u that this does not hurt as much as heartburn did ]

notes: i'm back with a big fic!!! :D this was originally supposed to be named something else but i realized that the title was Too Serious and u know what,,, ten listens later as i write this, i realized that i'm obsessed with this song that i received from this ask and wow thank u so much anon <33 although the rec isn't originally for this fic, it fits perfectly and i can't thank u enough <33

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)

There will never be another Jeon Jungkook in this world — that much you're sure of.

You're sure of it because it feels as if it's a universal truth. An irrevocable and irreversible one that you don't bother verifying because Jungkook carries his presence with finality, obvious that he carries security within himself the most.

If he were to slip away from your grasp for any reason beneath or beyond you, you’d know that he leave a vacuum in his wake. Jungkook isn’t yours for you to lose, but he is yours for you to long for.

You know this because Jungkook is the type of beauty you won't ever grow used to despite spending years, with him and around him. You're both seniors in college and yet you don't feel like it, despite being born just a couple months earlier than him (therefore older) which irks him to this day. You don't feel like it because his presence alone makes you feel like you're in elementary figuring out your heart flutters from square one.

If he were to star in a show, he’d be the mainstay character everyone fawns over. He would be the one to stay in the biggest trailer, have the most doting team, and have the brightest lights on him. If Jungkook was a star, he’d rake in all the money by himself.

If Jungkook were to to be yours, you’d never want for anything more.

“Are you seriously — don’t sleep on me!”

Jungkook’s voice is the first thing that snaps you out of your reverie, reminding you once again that you think of him even if he’s already in your presence, an endearingly-type of new low for you.

“I wasn’t sleeping on you,” you snort with a defensive cross of your arms across your chest, the prospect of rest making you yawn in suppression with your mouth closed, eyes tearing up and your nostrils flaring instead.

“Yeah but you were zoning out on me,” he sing-songs in faux irritation, twirling on his chair with an accusing point of his finger, “and that means I have two minutes left to talk to you before you fall asleep.”

The only reason you’re awake is because Jungkook practically begged to keep you up as emotional (and actual) support for the entirety of the assignments he’s been cramming.

You share a spacious dorm and yet the two of you are cooped up in his room because his mind would overload if he’s in someplace else, eyes surely gonna shake if he were to write essays on the coffee table in the living room or at the bar stool in the kitchen.

“What do you need me for now?”

Need.

It’s nice being needed.

It’s nice being needed that despite Jungkook’s initials on your ring finger that tied him to you as your soulmate, and his unawareness of it, Jungkook needs you.

The initials on one’s left ring finger develops over time. Some take mere years after their birth while others take decades. Starts off faint until they become clear red letters right on your vena amoris, inked on the skin above the vein that’s closest to your heart.

It gets fully-developed when it’s fully-realized. Having Jungkook’s bright and clear on your finger didn’t necessarily mean your initials reflect the same condition on his.

It was personal preference, really — whether or not you choose to cover up the soulmate mark or not. You’ve always chosen to cover your finger up with a ring because you didn’t want to freak your best friend ever since childhood that simply put, the two of you are soulmates.

Jungkook, just like you, chooses to wear a ring. In fact, he even wears the same one that you do because he argues that even if you’ve bought the silver signet ring first with the money you’ve saved up for years (it wasn’t cheap at all), he thought about it first.

That’s where the connection ends; only goes so far for the two of you to have matching rings to cover up your soulmate marks.

Jungkook, adamantly and stubbornly since the start, doesn’t like looking at his ring finger.

Even before there were faint outlines of ink, too vague for it to resemble your initials, eight-year old Jungkook would start having things around his particular digit, whether it’s a two-day old ring pop he leaves in the fridge or a piece of yarn that accidentally almost cuts off his blood circulation.

You remember Mrs. Jeon sheepishly explaining to curious onlookers whenever both of your families would go out for trips and that out of the two youngest members of their entourage, the handsome child with the wide eyes would have some sort of cover on his ring finger at an early age, be it an oven mitten or a headband scrunched up.

“I like not knowing who’s apparently meant for me.”

You’ve asked him multiple times throughout your life, all for Jungkook to be consistent and give you the same answer every time.

The same answer when you were kids as you repetitively flicked the tip of his ring finger with your eyes closed as instructed by him, in panic to make him feel something because he’s covered his mark with yet another ribbon too tightly, and in respect because even he himself didn’t want to see the ink.

The same answer when you were teenagers and you’re getting Christmas gifts together and Jungkook just looked too much like your ideal boyfriend with the way he’s lining up for you on the counter and is watching over all the items, pulling you closer every now and then when the prospect of losing you to the crowd gets higher with every rush.

The same answer now while you’re passing the time on his bed as he’s hunched over his desk, a harmless question included randomly into your series of sleep-induced curiosity; the question of why he doesn’t want to know about his soulmate, asked in the same breath of casualness to whether Jungkook preferred his rice better cooked with too much water or too less of it, or if he’d go home for the holidays with presents already prepared.

“Is that a kink?” you scrunch your nose at his unwavering consistency, knowing you would’ve liked it for any other situation besides this.

Jungkook breathily laughs, shrugging his shoulders carelessly as if the two of you are talking about the weather and he’s admitted that it’s been years since he’s last looked at a forecast willingly.

“I don’t wanna know, really. I still breathe without knowing who they are.”

The way he says it is easy, no underlying malice indicated in his tone at all. He says it in the way as if he’s been asked this a hundred times and his response is natural and well-lived, not once changing.

“I don’t believe in fate.”

Hurt doesn’t even explain half the pain in your chest all this time but in this light with the way you’re simply asking him why he doesn’t want a soulmate, why he doesn’t want you by extension — it’s only an ache.

It’s only an ache that pacifies on your bones instead of gnawing on them. It’s drawn-out yet dull, the pain not striking you enough to the point that you even hum at him to elaborate.

“Because what if I don’t end up loving them? What if the one I end up loving isn’t the one the universe apparently destined for me?” Jungkook goes on, lips in a slight pout. “Love doesn’t have initials.”

You sink further into his pillow, playing with your fingers yet retaining your gaze on him.

“You don’t have to love your soulmate.”

Read: you don’t have to love me.

Additionally: you don’t have to love me because having you in this platonic way atleast gives me the semblance that you love me even by a fraction, but if you love me in the same way I love you, it’d be nice.

“You say that now to make me believe in them,” he snorts, twirling a pen between his fingers with a genuinely curious gaze, “but what happens if you aren’t the one they want?”

You haven’t been doing anything and yet you still stop in your tracks, the question echoing in your mind as you repeat his query out loud.

“What happens if your soulmate doesn’t want you?”

What does happen?

You don’t die. You don’t puke flowers.

There’s no catch to it. There’s no grand consequence to having your soulmate not want you.

It makes you think once of your present situation and rethink twice of every decision you’ve ever made beforehand when your ring finger was still plain and devoid of his initials; when the only person you’ve made plans with and for isn’t just yourself, when it wasn’t him.

Jungkook doesn’t want you.

What’s supposed to happen to you?

“I need you to stop zoning out and help me make this essay!” he whines demandingly and it’s the last thing that pulls you out of your thoughts, sitting up straighter.

“If you start asking now, I can actually start helping you, y’know?”

Jungkook’s in STEM while you’re a literary major, the obvious exchange of help being convenient, yet the only difference is that when you make him answer your worksheets, you don’t wait until it’s three hours before the supposed deadline.

He’s giddy now that he’ll get to finish his last assignment due, eyes scanning back to the instructions because his attention span’s already been spent looking at his phone.

“What's love to you?"

You freeze at the abruptness but you move on just as quick as you were surprised, remembering that it’s just the guideline for an essay and not the turning point you’ve expected it to be for a split second.

“How do you want me to answer that?

You ask lightly, humorously even, as you stand up from his bed, running a hand through your hair and working the knots of out of your neck before you get to work.

“I want you to answer it in the sense that I have a paper about love due tomorrow. At 12:00 in the morning.”

“Why?” Jungkook giggles additionally, nudging you with a shit-eating grin and a playful glint on his eyes. “How would you have wanted to answer that?”

“Nothing else,” you smile faintly, scooting him to out of his seat and switch positions so he could sit on his bed while you type for him at his desk. “I’m answering it in the sense that you would be lost without me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

It’s only meant to be a tease but it hits home nonetheless. Maybe it’s because you’re in your soulmate’s room underneath his lights and you’re visible to him. Maybe it’s because your mark pulses just ever so slightly underneath your ring, irritated and itchy underneath the silver as much as you feel hurt.

“Lost without me in the sense that you’d fail your subject if I don’t help you with your essay now."

( ♡ )

Anyone who’d meet Jungkook for the first time is likely to think of three things.

He looks clean. Handsome in a way that he looks effortless even if he wears the same oversized black shirt every guy wears outside, enough to garner second glances for himself. He’s tidy in the facet that he looks like he takes care of himself but not vain, far from annoying prep kids he scoffs at.

Jungkook looks rich and is rich. His family doesn’t come from generational wealth and yet they thrive from their own holdings, learning early-on that they owned a cottage near the beach and rented it out as they moved next-door, and the next thing you know is that at present, they own multiple properties and ventured out into food business that make absolute bank.

He carries himself with the stature that he knows what he’s doing, back sometimes slouched but dignified nonetheless, the air of importance surrounding him. Jungkook was raised in comfort but he’s humble, that much you’d bet your whole life into believing. He was the type to have pocket money whenever he goes out but he spends it in the same way you do, calculating his expenses mentally as if the bills in his wallet wouldn’t pay for the video games he’d want and even have some change afterwards.

He’s aware in the sense that he doesn’t forget where he comes from, admitting to you numerous times that his family having much disposable income sometimes bothers him. Jungkook thinks there’s an itch behind his ear whenever his dad proposes to eat at a five-star restaurant for dinner; that there’s a guilty pout on his face when his mom takes the initiative to buy him new sets of clothes because his shirts look too lived-in, even if he knows to himself that his wardrobe needed a change.

He’s down-to-earth and it reminds you of the way he’d forego all of his Fisher-Price toys just to try and plead to you if he could borrow your hand-me-down stuffies from your older siblings. Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are nothing but humble in the same way that they raised their child, despite the fact that in rare times, they have the taste for the finer things in life.

Mrs. Jeon’s beyond generous during the holiday seasons and you recall her gifting your mother the expensive casserole you’d catch her looking at in adoration whenever both your families had dinners, customized to her favorite color and attached with a heartfelt letter from Jungkook’s mom. Mr. Jeon practically adores your dad and looks up to him like a younger brother would, always taking him to fishing trips just and buying two pairs of the same things so the two of them could match.

Jungkook was raised-well and if it’s even possible at this point, he gets much more endearing in your eyes.

“Why would I not walk you home? We live together, if you haven’t realized.”

He says it when he sees you in campus as he drops everything to walk you home, even if your shared apartment isn’t his destination for the time being. He goes out of his way to ensure that if you stay home while he goes about his plans, there should be food in the fridge and cupboards that you’d actually like. He’d lock the door and try to budge it open from outside, and once he’s assured enough that it remains secured, he’d go about his routine of texting you to call him if you need him.

“You can have mine. I’m full anyway.”

Jungkook says it whenever the two of you end up ordering new items from menus and you end up liking your dish, offering you his plate nonchalantly. He insists that it just tastes average for him, and if he sees you hesitating on stealing some from his portion, he’d go as far as telling you that it tastes horrible so you wouldn’t feel guilty.

“Look! My mom sent you these! I told her you liked them.”

He calls you over every time his family’s goodies for him for the month arrives at the mail, laying the package on the floor as he waits for you to unbox it with him because he knows just how much you like going through things and organizing them. Mrs. Jeon always made sure to include something specifically meant for you in Jungkook’s box — whether it’s the family-sized portion of your recent cravings or your favorite hair treatment in bulk.

“Hey, wanna go on a drive with me?”

He asks you whenever he sees you too absorbed and frustrated in your studies in conjunction with whatever work gig you have at the time, heart panging to see you struggling to take care of yourself because he knows you have the tendency to try and finish everything as fast and as good as you could, not stopping even at personal circumstances. He’d simply put your pair of house slippers on the floor for you to wear, pull you up by your armpits to urge you to come with him, and he’d just drive. Would go through a drive-thru and take off from there, not pressuring you to open up to him at whatever cost.

Jungkook can’t sense you in the same way you do, like a soulmate would, but he cares for you in the way that he can tell when you don’t feel like functioning at all and you’re shutting down; you’re shutting even him off and that’s when he knows that something’s bothering you to no end even if he can’t decipher what is it.

Whatever’s in his power, Jungkook sits next to you, lies on top of you, and does almost everything to invade your personal space whenever you shut down — just because he doesn’t want to give up on you like how you do with him.

If anyone were to meet Jungkook for the first time, they’d know he’s uniquely himself.

He cleans up extremely good as he wears a suit to the grand opening of his family’s café, a dream of her mother ever since she was a teenager that became fully-realized and he can’t be any more happier seeing his parents content.

He greets people left and right with genuine happiness to see all of them ecstatic and supportive, eagerly shaking their hands with a full smile on his face. He draws everyone in effortlessly as if he’s inertia itself, well-aware that it can’t only possibly be you that looks at him with this much reverence.

There’s a red string of pull and you feel it when Jungkook stumbles on his feet on his way to you, feeling your body being slightly tugged downwards but you pull yourself up just as quick, playing it off by pretending that there’s a speck of dirt on your shoes.

He’s been looking for you for the past five minutes because it’s his mother’s fault that she wanted two floors for their café and it’s packed immediately on opening, pointing at you eagerly as he weaves through people. “There you are!”

It’s not your first time meeting Jungkook but you feel the same three things each time, heart swelling in size in familiarity of the person who inhabits it the most.

Jungkook giddily laughs and takes his position beside you, slinging an arm around your shoulders and making conversation with your parents for the umpteenth time, your head instinctively bending to lean against him. He looks every bit the part of the person you love the most in this world, despite being unsure if you even deserve to in the first place. He looks every bit of the guy that makes you realize you can’t deal with having anyone else’s initials on your finger, the words slipping out of you naturally.

“You look like someone’s first love.”

( ♡ )

You’re flawed.

You’re flawed and you don’t need anyone to tell you so in order to give yourself a wake-up call.

You’re flawed in a way because you feel dumb being so lovestruck and devoted with little to no point of salvation. You pride yourself in not being selfish but you’d be lying if you say don’t once hope that Jungkook would look at you in the way that you do. Every now and then would you feel the urge to demand from him insistently every second of the day that he should love you. That he owes you atleast that for the years you’ve spent helplessly trying to put him first rather than your own sanity.

But it feels wrong. It is wrong.

Jungkook doesn’t owe you anything and you know that much.

He doesn’t owe you anything and you shouldn’t expect for him to pay attention to you even if you’re his designated driver for the night, celebrating the end of the stressful semester by unwinding at a club.

He doesn’t owe you an explanation when you see him not fending off the countless girls that go up to him and get their hands on whatever they could; doesn’t owe you an apology when you see him leaning down fondly to kiss someone who isn’t you — someone who isn’t his soulmate.

You would’ve been alone in your booth and the club in general (your soulmate’s out of the equation because he looks like he’s in a different realm entirely) if not for Hoseok, someone who’s perhaps your second best friend right after Jungkook.

It’s merely a coincidence that the both of you are here at the same time, him being the one to easily spot you as he weaves himself in your company seamlessly because he’s been meaning to escape all his frat brothers who annoy him more these days.

“I have something to say to you.”

Hoseok breaks into your worrisome silence, beckoning you over even if the two of you are sat right next to each other with your shoulders bumping.

“No. no. Come closer,” he insists and it makes you roll your eyes at what he could be playing at this time, indulging him by putting the side of your face right against his playfully.

Hoseok’s even more rational and realistic than you could be. In fact, he’s followed your gaze the entire night and he wonders how you haven’t grown tired. He knows about your helpless pining for your soulmate who doesn’t even want to know about you nor your existence, and all he can do is watch.

“You’re insane if you think this whole thing wouldn’t end up anything but extremely painful.”

His words are in a harsh whisper but it feels as if he’s yelled at you right to your ear, making you flinch away from his softly with a defeated pout on your face.

His words come out of nowhere but the rational part of you, the one that disappears whenever you’re vulnerable in this state longing after Jungkook, already knew that you’ve had this coming for a long time.

Hoseok doesn’t sugarcoat his words and it’s what you need almost all of the time. He’s harsh and unforgiving and it reminds you that you have a friend who isn’t Jungkook — someone who isn’t as gentle or kind; someone who grounds you rationally whenever you get too far up your head.

“Let me live, Hobi.”

“What you’re doing isn’t living, Y/N.”

He thinks for a second that he’s being too harsh but he realizes that maybe, just maybe, you need the truth no matter how cruel it could be. He figures that maybe you’d need someone to call you out instead of pitying you over what they could clearly see. “Tell me,” he murmurs, crossing his arms as he looks at you whose eyes are avoiding his gaze.

“Do you live for yourself first?” he nudges you by the shoulder, lightly tapping your ring with his finger. “Or do you live for Jungkook?”

Do you live for yourself first,

or do you live for Jungkook?

You’re dead silent and it’s the type that Hoseok doesn’t want to hear, mumbling to yourself before leaning to his neck to sniff whatever remnant he has on.

“God, what are you on?” you’re deflecting and you know it, cracking your knuckles at the process. “Let me have a hit of it.”

“I’m serious over here.”

Hoseok sees right through you and you feel like crying, recognizing the familiar solemn look on his face because like everyone else who has even the faintest idea of your situation, he pities you.

“And I’m telling you this as someone who cares for you,” he lightly swipes underneath your eyes that are welling up with tears before they even get to fall, effectively prying them out. “Let go of him while you still can.”

“How do I do that?”

You’re breathless in exhaustion but it’s not as if you’ve done anything physically strenuous to be in such a state. You haven’t done anything but it feels as if the wind is knocked out of your lungs and it doesn’t come back to you even if your sail blows.

“How do I do that if Jungkook asks me what do I want for dinner?” there’s trepidation underneath your tone and Hoseok recognizes it, the tremble in your fingers visible even if you have them clenched. “How do I do that if he holds my hand when we cross the street and shields me in crowds?”

“How do you expect me to do that when he calls my parents on weekends and tells them that he’ll always look out for me?”

You’re not scared of letting Jungkook know but rather, you’re scared of your inevitable fall. You’re not scared of the white hot pain you anticipate to feel when the moment finally comes that he says it straight to your face that he doesn’t love you; you’re scared of what happens to the two of you after and what’s left of it.

“How do you expect me to stop loving Jungkook when he acts like he loves me back?”

“He doesn’t.”

“And I know that.”

You’re flawed in the way that you’re self-aware. That you’re painfully mindful of your own emotions and multitudes. You hate that you’re as logical as you are emotional and for once, you just wish you didn’t know better.

You wish that you’re insensitive and reckless. You wish you were more cunning in the sense that you disregard Jungkook completely and stop at nothing to try and get him to look your way with a different gaze.

You wish that you’re anyone but yourself, someone who’s deserving of Jungkook.

“What do I do now, Hobi?” you lean into him because you can’t support yourself and he knows it, the weight of your heart being heavier than your head on his shoulder.

You’re flawed because you suppress a coo at the back of your throat when Jungkook stumbles over to your booth and immediately wraps his arms around you, drunken babbles leaving him as it’s a sign for you to take him home.

You’re flawed because you hear your soulmate speak as you bid goodbye to Hoseok for the night, only smiling when you hear his words. It’s a pain that doesn’t encompass you, rather, it’s a pain that’s hot enough to burn your flesh yet just warm enough to quell the pain in your bones.

“You're my best, best friend in every universe. Y’know that?” he hiccups, eyes completely glazed and rubbed raw as he looks at the side of your face while you haul him to your car. “I hope you know that.”

( ♡ )

Your door opens up before you even realize it.

Actually, Jungkook opens your door before he even realizes it.

He’s woken up in a rush with a single text from his dad that they’re coming over to visit and normally it wouldn’t bother him. Waking up abruptly in the morning isn’t a problem to him and so is making a game plan in cleaning everything up to make sure it’s spotless to his mother’s standards.

What is a problem is that when he entered the bathroom to brush his teeth without a shirt on, he sees the reflection of his hickies from the night before glaring right at him.

However, what an even bigger problem than that is when he tries to wake you up by knocking on your door with the pleads of helping him cover his marks up, it automatically opens when he twists the knob.

“Y/N, no! Why’s your door unlocked?”

His eyes widen in panic and worry, wondering why it wasn’t even locked in the first place. Better yet, has it never been locked ever since? When he leaves you alone in the apartment, do you go out of your way to unlock the main door that he secures closed on the way out?

“And why aren’t you even moving out of bed when someone’s inside your room? What if it isn’t me? What if it’s someone else who did the exact things I did?”

Jungkook’s more worried than he is mad even if his tone’s jittery, hands on his hips as his mind makes up for the whole nine yards. Seriously, does he regard your safety more than you do with your own? Leaving your door open is beyond unsafe. Were you being more forgetful these days? Does he not look over you enough?

You’re oblivious to his panicked state as you burrow yourself deeper into your sheets, eyes remaining peacefully closed because it doesn’t surprise you anymore when he suddenly inserts his presence into your vicinity.

“But it’s you,” you sleepily mumble, half-coherent with the way you hug your pillow closer. “Aren’t you the one who kept knocking at my door?”

He scoffs because you do make a point even if he refuses to admit it, but it just ticks him in a way that you regard his concern for you so lightly. “That’s different and-…”

“And now you’ve opened it yourself and invited yourself into my room.”

“Yeah and that’s okay because it’s me!” he gestures out but he forgets that you’re not even looking at him, unaware of how he looks genuinely upset and worried at the moment. “But what if it was someone else, hm?”

“Like who, an intruder?” you suggest even if you don’t know where this conversation is taking you, your careless words leaving you before you even realize because you don’t have half the realization to think about them deeper. “You’ll protect me if there is one, right?”

Jungkook freezes in his tracks and he suddenly feels no point in trying to berate you further, the stark suggestion that was only meant to be light-hearted painting him a grave image he wasn’t even trying to conjure, trying not to snowball for the worst possible scenario.

He should always be there for you, that much he knows.

“Fucking idiot, of course I would,” he huffs that you even doubt his prioritization for you and it makes you snort because you clearly hear it, turning to face the other side as you make no move in shooing him away and instead try to go back to sleeping. “But starting now, promise me you’ll lock your doors and wake up immediately when someone knocks, alright? You hear me?”

“Hmm.”

“Cross your heart on it,” he says it out of habit even if he knows you wouldn’t do it anyway, sitting on the vacant side of you bed as he tries to shake you awake. “Anyways, I need a favor from you.”

It’s never been lost on you that unlike every other time, Jungkook wouldn’t willingly come to you this early into the night without needing something from you for his own benefit. You don’t get your hopes up that perhaps this time, he comes to your bed just to hold you in warmth amongst his embrace because it’s something only a fever nap could do for you; clearly not sick enough to see that image.

“What do you need me for now?” your eyes start blinking open as you shift to look straight up at the ceiling, casting a glance on Jungkook who has a sheepish pout on his face.

“Please cover up my hickies. I’m begging you."

You don’t even flinch once and he’s nervous at how it seems like you didn’t even hear what he said, prompting to explain himself further. “Mom and Dad are visiting and they’re already on the way.”

You’re used to this.

There shouldn’t be any surprise factor to know that the time Jungkook wakes you up outside for the purpose of not making you late to your classes or to your errands, it would be for his sake. He wakes you up for the sake of himself, asking of you to cover up his hickies because he’s ever the angel to his parents and he can’t do it himself.

Jungkook wakes you up for you to see marks that link him to another woman, even if it’s just for a night, while he covers up the only marks he has of you on his finger and he doesn’t even know it, completely devoid of the only linking thing you have with him.

“Get me my makeup bag.”

He immediately knows where it is and he manages to mumble out a rushed thanks, sprinting back to where you lay. In fact, you have a separate concealer in Jungkook’s shade already that you don’t even need to turn the light on to know it’s a perfect match.

You sit up lazily and cover up his hickies like it’s routine. You see him everyday as he belongs to everyone but yourself, and the physical proof of it doesn’t hurt you as much as you expected it to be.

He lays down on your lap and neither of you talk.

You skim past the hues of pink and purple on his neck as if you were born simply to see them on your soulmate’s neck, as if you were conditioned all your life to be the one to cover up hickies on Jungkook’s skin as your sole purpose. You do the process of covering it up over and over again until you get rid of the marks that remind him he isn’t yours at all, right until he sits up to admire your handicraft.

“Woah, it’s like it wasn’t even there! This is so-“

“Now get out.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he gets whiplash from your hostile tone, but he probably chalks it up to you being sleepy, him interrupting your rest, and you desperately wanting to get back to it.

He’s out of your room to now clean up the entire place but your tone doesn’t leave him still, making him sigh out loud while he tries not to overthink it.

You’re just sleepy.

You’d never get mad at him.

Jungkook’s eyes blink once, twice as he resumes wiping down the counters, slower and more thoughtful this time.

You’d never get mad at him, right?

( ♡ )

The day is slow and so is the pain in your heart.

You can’t put a finger on it exactly, but being with Jungkook in any other form besides a soulmate doesn’t hurt you as much nowadays. The hurt is there but it’s never really left anyway. The vacuum in the shape of Jungkook from within you has been there for so long that the hurt you feel seems like a routine at this point.

You look for him in the way when there’s a misplaced decoration on the shelf; a single magazine missing amongst a row of books. You look for it, but you come to accept it. You don’t look for Jungkook in the way when you realize that an heirloom is missing from your possession and you tear around the whole place to seek it.

Having Jungkook away from your grasp feels as normal as you have him within yours platonically, the two weighing the same amount of harrowing.

“I have an idea,” Jungkook proposes to you over the couch when he’s shouldered dinner and it’s just yet to arrive, passing the time by being around you even if your attention isn’t on him. “What if you look at my soulmate mark?”

You’ve only been endlessly scrolling through your feed and as much as you expected Jungkook to bother your silence with one conversation or another, you didn’t think it’s be this.

Rarely does it cross your mind nowadays that you’re soulmates before you’re best friends turned roommates. In fact, not once did you wander about him today and admittedly in realization, it scares you before it relieves you.

“What for?”

“Shit and giggles, I think,” he replies with much amusement but the determination in his eyes tell you that he’s more than insistent. “Don’t tell me about it though. Don’t tell me even a single clue.”

You will yourself to look back at your phone, to ignore him as if he hasn’t said the stupidest yet simultaneously brightest proposal he’s ever given you because it’s too sudden. You’ve waited for years but now that Jungkook’s asking you to look at his mark in behalf of him, simply for shit and giggles, you worry that it’s too sudden. Too early. That the moment you’ve waited for years is too abrupt and now you’d rather wait for another lifetime for it.

“What’re you doing this for?”

You repeat the question again but you’re equally as serious the first time around, seeing his brows furrow because he feels like you’ve changed the atmosphere without him knowing.

“I suddenly got curious.”

“You don’t get curious.”

“I know, I just get easily influenced,” Jungkook sheepishly admits, scratching the back of his head because it seems to him that you’re cornering him and shutting him down for no reason at all. He doesn’t necessarily know why he feels intimidated by you, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to ease the tension by explaining himself. “Remember when I asked you to cover up my hickies last week?”

“What about it?” your eyes narrow in genuine wonder, prompting you to think just how long Jungkook’s been meaning to ask you this.

“You weren’t wearing a bra that time.”

The words tumble out of Jungkook’s mouth continuously and he only has the mind to look embarrassed by it when you sputter out loud, averting his gaze to suppress a laugh,

“Jungkook-!” your pupils dart wildly, appalled and embarrassed at the same time when you defensively cross your arms across your chest even if what he’s pertaining to has long been finished. “Of course I wasn’t wearing a bra! It was 5 AM and I was still asleep when you kept knocking on my door!”

“And I wasn’t looking!” he defends himself with a laugh, head automatically shaking as he tries to reach out to you but you only swat him away. “I just glanced once because I realized it but I didn’t look again, I swear!”

“Well sometimes, you should keep your mouth shut!” you squeak, rolling your eyes as you try to get away from his further by moving to the opposite end of the couch. “I would’ve been able to live in peace without knowing you saw my boobs through my shirt.”

“It’s normal! Just like you seeing me without a shirt! We live together, stupid. It was bound one way or another,” he argues, earning yet another frustrated groan from you.

You power through the embarrassment because you’d look like such a sore loser if you walk away from him now, hiding your face to a throw pillow as Jungkook gathers his wits while he tries to get closer to you, abandoning his spot on the other end of the couch.

“Not only weren’t you wearing a bra-”

“Watch it,” you seethe when he gets close enough for you to flick his forehead harshly, earning a whine from him in the midst of laughing as he gets choked up.

His cheeks are tinted pink and it’s clear he can’t breathe well with how much he’s entertained, clearing his throat a few times and having to look away from you because your face alone apparently sends him into a fit of giggles.

You think this is the end of it. You think Jungkook’s effectively forgotten about his previous proposal and you’d be able to end the night with a good dinner and no confrontations at all, but your expectation gets spoiled as soon as you started hoping.

“You weren’t wearing your ring too.”

Your heart drops before you even get to digest all of the words, the hurt hitting you before the impending realization.

“W-what?”

Jungkook’s face twists in worry to see you so shaken up when he barely did anything, certain that you wouldn’t look this pale over a few minutes of teasing and banter. He tilts his head at you and it prompts you to straighten up and fix the worry in your features, good enough for him to continue.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t look. Besides, your mark was turned away from me the entire time because you were dabbing on my neck and I was getting sleepy while you did it,” he shrugs carelessly and it’s the first time you could physically feel the relief in your shoulder that melts all away the tension, the feeling so fluid that it feels warm.

“It was still dark too,” he adds in recollection, a faint smile on his face as he gestures to you and motions at your chest vaguely. “All I saw were just like… peaks and shadows.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jungkook,” you snap but there’s no real bite to it. In fact, it even sounds sweet but he doesn’t know how to read between the lines and therefore nestles to your side in rising worry.

“I’m sorryyy,” he drawls out and the moment he feels you pat his nape with your confirmation that it’s okay and doesn’t really matter in the first place, he springs up back to his straight posture against the cushions of the couch, an eager smile evident.

“Anyways, that’s why you have me wondering what’s underneath my ring,” he connects seamlessly, obviously unaware of the way you’ve tensed up beside him. “Now come on, it’s okay! Think of this as me making it up to you. You can go look.”

Jungkook turns his position on the couch to face you, his left hand raised right in front of you and he’s laughing with unknown nerves, the feeling being akin to being tickled because he anticipates it fully, but the sensation feels different every time.

Your mouth dries when you’re faced with the same signet ring that you wear yourself, right on Jungkook’s digit. The shiny silver stares back at you in the eye and you can’t take your gaze away from it, the familiar piece of jewelry looking more unrecognizable the longer you look at it.

You don’t know what you expect from it when he teasingly starts to pull his ring up without any big movements to reveal the ink that’s underneath, but as much as you don’t know what you want to see, the trepidation blooms fully in your chest for you to have the mind in stopping him.

“Don’t.”

Jungkook’s confused and shocked to why you suddenly refused, recalling that just two seconds ago, you were all for his fun little proposal but now you’re no longer on-board.

He’s familiar with the conflict in your eyes, he just doesn’t recognize what’s it supposed to be. He sees the cracks of your hurt, he just doesn’t know the focus of it,

“Why not?” he frowns, genuinely curious to see you avoiding his gaze.

“I shouldn’t be the first one to see it.”

“I trust you, though.”

It’s what hurts all the more because he trusts you to see the initials of what would lead him to his soulmate, to you, but not in looking at you face-to-face for you to become the very thing he doesn’t want.

“Maybe next time, Jungkook.”

The mood is somber and he doesn’t know what to make of it besides the fact that you worry him deeply, bending downwards to have a glance at your face. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

He looks down on his ring but now he suddenly feels off-put looking at it, obscuring his mark that makes him curious.

“Does it have to do with your own soulmate not wanting you?” he jokes around lightly to ease the mood and if only he knew that he’s hurting you right where it hurts, he would’ve shut his mouth int the first place.

You’re bitter, harshly biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from crying, voice straining as you try to bring back the playful atmosphere.

“I’ll have you know, I’m easy to love, Jungkook. Try it sometime."

He giggles right to your face — laughs at your hurt, right to your vulnerability and the little pride you have left.

“Silly,” Jungkook ruffles your hair in much amusement, eyes crinkling in giddiness because you’ve bounced back from the minor inconvenience in his eyes just as quick. “I can’t love you.”

( ♡ )

Jungkook’s family has a new house.

What’s different this time is that the house they had built isn’t for business purposes to be occupied by long-time tenants nor short-term guests. The spacious three-floored house is wide in technicality but it feels quaint and warm with all the furniture and personality inside it. Most vacation houses and cottages they had built are neutral, the life of the space completely dependent on its future inhabitants. But this house of theirs is clearly their own, the evidence of the three-member family visible from floor to ceiling.

Your family’s at the top of the guest list for their housewarming and it’d be a lie to say that you don’t feel fold seeing your parents and older siblings’ reaction to the welcome that the Jeon family gives. They’re nice hosts with the way they usher their visitors to the catering tables but they’re even more warm and familial with the way they give you your plates themselves, taking you by the arm as they tour your family around their house way ahead of everyone.

Mr. Jeon gushes to your dad how they have a pond out back and invites him to accompany him next week to buy fish for their deck, Jungkook’s dad insisting that he drives the two of them and they can go for street food right after.

Jungkook takes pride in touring around your mom and your older siblings by proudly introducing them to the other visitors, all along the lines of how you’re all basically like family ever since they’ve moved in next door to your family, their humble beginnings in the form of their original house where they started from scratch.

You stand meekly by the corner, against one of the towering pillars as you watch everyone interact with each other. One thing about the Jeon family is that they’re just the type of successful no one could ever be bitter of because they’re immensely kind and genuine, not a trace of bitterness being seen in any of the faces you see.

You know the last thing you should be feeling at the moment is displacement because as far as you knew, your family’s the talk of the household right after the hosts’. You should know out of all people that you belong in this environment that’s nothing short of familial and supportive, but it’s unavoidable.

It’s unavoidable because you see exactly why Jungkook doesn’t need you.

It’s inevitable to feel out of place because in yet another house that serves as a home for Jungkook, you realize why he finds no need nor significance in having a soulmate because he has everything he needs and more.

He has everything that completes him and balances him perfectly. He stands on his own two feet and is able to be happy without knowing who the universe has assigned for him. He lives and breathes without knowing you and it’s perfectly okay.

It’s perfectly okay for him to not want you and only live for himself because he doesn’t owe you at all.

Jungkook doesn’t owe you the love that you give him and that’s perfectly okay.

Everything should be perfectly okay because he is and yet you don’t know why your eyes are downcast despite everyone else around moving on without you. No one owes you anything and you should know better than to even voice the tiniest bit of sentiments you’ve been repressing all this time because the hurt you feel should only be yours.

All the while, you’re oblivious to how you’ve gained the attention of the woman who knows Jungkook the most before you.

“It’s Jungkook, isn’t it?”

Mrs. Jeon stands before you and your eyes flit to hers in an instant, pupils trembling to see what she could possibly mean.

You think you could salvage the pitiful situation she’s caught you in because of course, there’s no possible way that she could know, right? Even your own family doesn’t know of the initials that are inked on your finger and they’re your own flesh and blood. If anything, they should be the one who’d figure it out first.

The lie you were supposed to tell her gets caught in your throat because from her gaze alone, the same gaze you receive when Hoseok speaks you the truths you always try and make excuses for, you know that she knows.

Mrs. Jeon sees right through you before Jungkook and the realization crosses her face that the two of you only stand parallel.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, the dots connecting in her head much faster even if it’s years worth of all her intuitions, the gravity of it only hitting her now. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

You quickly shake your head even if she holds your hands in hers, her eyes wide and glassy to see her son’s soulmate in this light. She’s always treated you as a daughter and at first, she thought it’s because she only has a son. That maybe it’s because Jungkook’s an only child and she’s always wanted a daughter figure in her life. That maybe, she just happens to love you more than any of the daughters her friends have because she’s known you the longest.

She feels so remorseful that she should’ve listened to her instincts more and not just glaze over the fact that perhaps, you were her son’s soulmate. She feels that maybe she could’ve protected you better by saying that sooner or later, Jungkook would outgrow his phase of sleeping around.

She’s not blind to see the makeup that covers her son’s neck whenever she comes over, no matter how seamless it is. However, she’s blind enough to not see that it’s you all this time and how you’ve been hurting far longer than you should’ve.

“But what about you? What happens to you?”

“I’ll be okay, mom.”

She told you to call her that, much like how your mother insisted that Jungkook calls her that too. You reassure her endlessly that she shouldn’t feel sorry at all because it’s no one’s fault, and if it’s anyone whose blame should befall on, it should be you.

“Why did it have to be you?” her lip blubbers and it reminds you of her son, seeing her clench her eyes at the second wave of realization that you must be so hurt beyond salvation. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You don’t deserve the apology but hearing it makes you awed, your own tears welling at your eyes because for once, even if it’s the person you’ve least expected to say it to you, you feel seen. You feel remorse and pity without being looked down on; something you haven’t been able to experience in a long time.

“You deserve someone better than Jungkook.”

She looks up as if it would resolve anything. Mrs. Jeon looks like she’s begging for the universe to befall and it catches you off-guard with how she’s hugging you so tightly.

If she prayed to the universe for a short second, then the universe must’ve loved her enough to grant whatever it is that she wished for. The universe doesn’t befall on you but rather, it marches up to you with a furrow in his brow and his jaw clenched.

“What do you mean better than me?”

Jungkook didn’t mean to eavesdrop in the first place but he couldn’t hold himself back from inserting himself into the conversation that two of the most important women in his life were having, thinking it would be something he’s familiar with given the way the two of you looked shellshocked at each other.

“What are you talking about?”

He harshly whispers and neither of you meet his desperate gaze, not one bit of reassurance trying to confirm nor deny what he had just heard. He looks at his mother clutching your hands, thumb particularly rubbing your signet ring like how she would with a wound to soothe.

The realization and the heaviness that come with it are unlike no other.

“In my room now.”

Jungkook seethes as he doesn’t wait for an answer, pulling you desperately upstairs. He’s fuming even if his grasp on your wrist is gentle. He’s furious at you even if he nudges you inside his room, closing the door behind him firmer than he’d ever think of.

“Jungkook-“

“You are so fucking evil.”

What you could only see at the surface is that he’s mad, the maddest you’ve ever seen him. You don’t know if he’s mad at you directly but you feel the bite of his words nonetheless, catching you in surprise that you stutter.

“W-what?”

His expression can’t be gauged and neither can he discern what he feels. All he feels is that he’s in the dark and he’s disoriented with how blinding the light is that’s focused on him now, voice turning hoarse with how overwhelmed he feels.

“How long have you known? How long were you lying to me, huh?” he has his hands on his hips, looking at you as if he’s never seen you before and all he knows is that he’s angry at you. It feels like he doesn’t know you besides the outline of you that blindsides him. “How many people know that it’s me? How did it happen that my mother knew that I’m your soulmate before I did?”

You’re mad at him too. You’re angry at him because he speaks down to you in the way as if he doesn’t know you and all you’ve done to him is hurt him when not once did you betray him to be treated hostile as such. All you’ve done is give and it feels like Jungkook’s asking you to give him the satisfaction of being angry at you, one that he feels entitled to.

“I didn’t let you know because you didn’t want to. You’ve said it yourself a hundred times!”

“How would I have known that my fucking soulmate was standing in front of me the whole time?” he raises his voice, eyes widening. “Almost my whole life, Y/N! You knew and you didn’t even question my beliefs once?”

“And I know you don’t love me for almost as long as my whole life too. Even if I told you, it wouldn’t have made a difference. You wanted to be free and I let you!”

He scoffs, throwing his head back to mock you. He’s never the one to cry when arguing but the frustration wells up in his eyes because it all feels too much.

“So now you’re holding your heroic act against me? You already know how I feel about soulmates. You already know what I don’t feel about you! You could’ve just left and I would’ve understood!”

“No, Jungkook. You wouldn’t have understood,” your finger points at him and you don’t feel the slightest bit of remorse that you’ve offended him. “You wouldn’t have understood because not once were you in my shoes. I didn’t leave you because you didn’t want me to leave!”

Jungkook would make you cross your heart multiple times for you to never leave him. You were older than him by a few months and at one point, Jungkook must’ve looked up to you. He would’ve made you cross your heart to not leave him in the playground as kids and to not leave him to eat alone at lunch as students. He made you cross your heart to not leave him for longer than necessary as roommates, and cross your heart to lock your doors so he’d be able to sleep securely at night that nothing and nobody can harm you.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t have wanted you to leave,” he grits his teeth, looking at you menacingly with stray tears on his cheeks. “But when I said that, I meant that in the sense that you shouldn’t ever leave your best friend.”

“You could’ve left me as a soulmate and I would be okay, Y/N,” Jungkook emphasizes and it’s not lost on you what he’s asking from you now. “But you’re still here! You’re still around me and it’s like you’re expecting me to love you back!”

You’re flawed but you know better than to let Jungkook construct his own truths that the both of you know are lies, persistently shaking your head as your eyes prick in frustration.

“I would never force you to love me back and you know it, Jungkook.”

You mean it with every fiber in your being because it’s tattooed into your mind that he doesn’t owe you anything at all. You love Jungkook simply because you do and you don’t expect it to be requited.

You mean it genuinely when you say that not once have you ever pressured him to love you back but it falls on deaf ears because he goes on, no matter how much you try to get it through his mind.

“I don't have to love you. Goddamn it Y/N, atleast give me a choice here. Don't just chain me to you!"

You resist the urge to grip at your hair as you cry, sobbing frustratedly. His words no longer hurt but what instead hurts you is that he makes you out for someone who isn’t you, the little pride you have left forcing you to stand up for yourself and become rational. “Hey, hey. Listen. Two people can be soulmates and not be in love with each other, y'know? That's possible."

“It’s not-“

“I’m already in love with you, Jungkook! That's the problem!”

You burst as you raise your voice and the little moment of calm gets washed away because Jungkook retaliates even louder, his chest heaving as he points at himself.

“I’m the problem now? You've been begging me all this time to love you back, and now I’m the problem?"

“You're not getting my point, Jungkook!"

“I’m really not getting your point here because you're making it sound like it's my fault that you love me!"

You try to breathe deeply, running your hands through your hair as the words slip out of you. “Maybe it's your fault, have you ever thought about that? You act as if you love me-"

“What the fuck? I’m kind, Y/N. Being kind is different from-"

“Best friends don’t-“

The words get lost on your tongue.

You stop yourself and it’s as if one seed of clarity plants itself in your mind, the sudden silence making Jungkook cease the heaving of his chest as none of you speak a word.

You’re flawed but this is the only time you feel that it’s fine to be as such, figuring that if you want to salvage the tiny bit of whatever compassion you have for yourself, you should no longer try. The tensions melts away from your shoulders and Jungkook feels the way the atmosphere once again changes before he knows it, wide eyes trying to gauge what exactly is happening.

“I’ll stop — cross my heart.”

( ♡ )

Jungkook doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s your university’s semestral break for the holidays and throughout the entire time, you haven’t contacted him.

You don’t contact him even when it’s the day before Christmas and there’s two minutes left on the clock before it’s the 25th.

The two of you are apart this time. You’re in your childhood home while his family stays over in their new vacation house. His parents miss your family beyond measure but they’d overheard your fight and decides that maybe having a different celebration this year, one that’s only the three of them even if it’s not as boisterous and fun being with your household, is for the better.

The wound’s still fresh. The sting’s still there and it’s barely healing.

That’s why Jungkook sends you a quick series of texts before his family feasts without you.

i’m sorry for the things i’ve said, i was really rude

i don’t want to lose you

happy holidays btw, we miss you

see you after break :)

( ♡ )

It’s like it never happened.

It’s like Jungkook didn’t cry himself to sleep and feel extremely lethargic because as soon break was over and the two of you are back into your shared apartment, you act normal.

You act as if nothing changed and it drives him out of his mind for you to be so casual despite everything because it’s like this time, he’s the only who’s affected by the entire situation that’s unfolded. The two of you’ve already exchanged apologies and reassurances that you’d move on collectively but now that he thinks about it, Jungkook never should’ve agreed to move on.

He never should’ve agreed to move on because out of the two of you, you’re the only one who isn’t on a standstill.

He’s distraught that even if it’s the same scenario and scenery before the two of you even blew over, you move on from him faster than he thought you could. Jungkook almost cried himself to sleep when you weren’t home by 9 PM from your classes and you looked genuinely confused to see him pacing by the kitchen, waiting for you to come home.

He feels like he’s losing it by the minute when you wake up by yourself and not without his incessant knocking that you’d be late for class if you stay in bed for a minute longer.

His heart feels like it’s about to break down when you don’t call him over to say hi whenever your parents call you, only getting to hear your conversations through the door as he suddenly feels that he’s excluded from all the things he shares with you.

He reminds himself that he wanted this. He reminds himself that he said he wanted you to leave during his family’s housewarming party, that he then retracts his statement and said he didn’t want to lose you over the holidays, and that all throughout the years he’s been with you — he’s never wanted you.

Jungkook reminds himself that he’s still with you.

He’s still with you, that much he knows.

He just isn’t sure if you’re still with him.

( ♡ )

Jungkook didn’t expect for this to hurt so bad.

He didn’t expect to be so lost into his thoughts that he couldn’t sleep in his room and marches right outside the living room wearing a new pair of socks that he didn’t expect to be this slippery, not registering into his mind that he’s done household chores the whole day to keep his mind preoccupied and that the hardwood floors are squeaky clean with wax.

He didn’t expect that he’d slip and fall on his arm painfully that it makes him wince, groaning at the impact of his body weight crushing his arm and for such a striking pain to travel to his elbow all the way to the tips of his fingers.

Jungkook didn’t expect for it to hurt this much because you don’t come out of your room to help him and he can’t take it, frustrated as he can’t get up that he does nothing but yell out your name multiple times.

All his calls for you effectively summoned you out but you’re more confused than you are panicked, a gasp leaving your lips when you see him lying in pain on the floor.

“What happened to you?” you ask in worry as you try to pull him up without hurting him, making him wince while trying to answer your question nonetheless.

“Huh?” he lets you carry him up to sit him down the couch for the meantime, assessing just how bad his fracture looks like to see if you’d have to drive him to the hospital. “What do you mean? Didn’t you feel the pain?”

Jungkook knows about the red string of pull and his eyes blink twice in confusion because you only realize what he’s talking about belatedly, the genuine confusion in your face making him swallow the lump in his throat.

“Oh. I didn't feel it. There wasn't a pull."

“Stop joking with me."

He clenches his jaw at how you could manage to play with him over such an important matter, even more baffled when you defensively shake your head and even breathlessly laugh.

“I’m not, Kook! I swear, I really didn't."

“Bullshit,” he rolls his eyes casually, deadpanning at you with a gasp emerging from his lips. “You knew I broke my arm and intentionally didn't help me!”

“Jungkook, I swear on my life,” he sees you hold up your hand in the air in a promise, tiny giggles of disbelief leaving you as he genuinely can’t understand where exactly is the humor you find in this.

He purses his lips and tries to look deeper for anything in your eyes that give you away even the slightest bit, pointing at your ring. “Take it off."

He watches intently the way surprise sweeps across your features and he thinks for a second that you’re just lying to him — you wouldn’t really take off your ring because doing so would confirm his hopes that it’s his same initials with the same vivid shade of red, right?

But you do it nonetheless.

Truth be told you’ve only removed your ring once since the incident because you didn’t want to be reminded of whose initials were underneath it, but it surprises you that your compliance gets the better of you and you take it off from him.

Jungkook’s stare falters to see the very thing he’s asked for.

What he could only make out clearly now is the J in the middle of his first and last initial, the two other letters clearly not as prominent. You’re shocked to see the difference from when you last saw your mark, the first J and K by your ring finger fading in contrast.

“You can’t — is this true?” he finds himself swallowing the lump in his throat painfully, taking your finger into his own hands that he barely winces using his other arm, rubbing his thumb against your skin to see if it was just some trick. “Surely you can’t spell my name without the jeon and the kook, right?”

His breathing is too heavy and you don’t speak either. The two of you have heard about this once when you were children from both of your mothers, all blissfully too young and unaware to consider the possibility that it might just happen to the two of you.

“About the mark-…”

“My mom said-…”

The two of you pipe up at the same time but Jungkook lets you go first because even if you haven’t spoken at the same time as he did, he wouldn’t have been able to finish what he was supposed to say.

You say your next words honestly, in a gentle and soft voice but it lands loud and disruptive to Jungkook’s ears, making him want to clamp his ears shut because he refuses to believe.

“It could be because the universe is reassigning me a new soulmate.”

“Y-yeah,” he clears his throat as if it would stop the tears that are threatening to fall on his cheeks, looking down on his lap as he unconsciously hunches on himself. “I remember our moms saying this when we were kids.”

“Mhmm,” you hum in recollection, pointing to him eagerly because the two of you are at the same page. “I asked my mom about a week ago then an hour later, I got put into a groupchat with all the moms of the friends that I have."

Jungkook weakly snorts to match your energy because he’s weak. He’s too weak to raise his head to face how you’re so nonchalant about this and this time, it’s him who’s hurting so badly.

“Everyone's bets are on PJM — Park Jimin! Who would’ve known, right? The J initial makes sense."

Jimin, a family friend of a family friend.

Jimin, the one kid in preschool that always wowed the parents and the teachers because he talks like how a fourth-grader would and knows how to do addition with the carrying.

Jimin, a distant friend who studied abroad for college and whose news broke out that he’s coming back home during his break and plans to settle here in your city.

Jimin, someone who’s theorized to replaced Jungkook.

“Don't even joke about that. I’m serious,” he mumbles under his breath and the croak of his voice gives him away, suddenly standing up from the couch and forgetting about his physical pain entirely, bidding you a quiet good night that he could only know is not something that he’d be getting underneath this dark.

“I’m gonna go to sleep."

( ♡ )

Jungkook wishes that his eyesight wasn’t so clear.

He wishes he didn’t heed his mother’s warnings of not looking at screens for too long too closely and his father’s insistence that he takes his vegetables and vitamins.

He wishes that his vision is poor because in that way, he wouldn’t be able to notice how the silver that’s against your skin looks different; how he couldn’t tell that it’s shine isn’t the same that he’s used to seeing and how it’s no longer the signet ring that looks like the same piece that he wears on your ring finger.

“Did you change your ring?"

He asks you one morning when you’re making breakfast. He memorizes seeing the furrow in your brows and the realization in your face as you look down on your hand, his words clicking into your head in understanding.

“Oh yeah, I did.”

Your ring’s now of a thicker design with intricate details and swirls, the band of it seemingly molded into decorative crosses. It looks heavy and of high-quality and Jungkook’s certain that your ring’s more expensive this time, clueless to where and when you got it.

The groove of the silver reminds him of the letter P, and his mind goes to Jimin’s family name instantaneously — and it makes Jungkook pray that he’d rather have his vision tainted than to ever see it on your skin.

( ♡ )

“Where are you going this early in the morning?”

Jungkook can’t bear to sleep in his bedroom anymore nowadays because it feels to confined, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts and insecurities which is why he chooses to sleep in the living room where it’s open and he has everywhere else to look at besides his ceiling.

He hasn’t even been sleeping well in the first place which is why he’s alert from his shallow nap when your door clicks open and he sees you already bathed and dressed.

“My dad told me to join him fishing,” you answer when you move on from the surprise he’s given you, releasing the hand from your chest as you calm down. “He’s fishing with Jimin’s dad.”

You’re too busy packing snacks that you don’t register how there’s pillows and blankets on the couch because Jungkook sleeps out here nowadays, compared to your assumptions that he’s just gaming or doing his assignments. Your back is turned to him which is why you don’t notice his face that looks crestfallen at your further explanation, heart sinking in thought.

“Oh,” he stabilizes his voice as best as he could, eyes set at the back of your head as he tries not to give himself away. “Would Jimin be there?”

“Not sure. I’ll see when I get there.”

He nods once, biting on his lip as he tries again.

“Is my dad coming with?”

“O-oh,” the realization crosses your mind that your dad’s companion when it comes to fishing and perhaps any other activity is Mr. Jeon, only hitting you now that you haven’t heard the mention of his name. “I honestly don’t know.”

That’s the thing of both your dads and Jungkook aches at the thought if his time is over. If his family’s time is over with yours. If it’s too late and the ink on your finger can no longer be traced back to him.

If it’s still him.

“Drive safe, m’kay? Call me when you need me.”

You don’t approach him for a goodbye hug and he feels too odd to only keep to himself as you leave out the door, not looking back even once.

Call me even if you don’t need me.

The words only remain on his tongue because speaking it out loud is pointless. It’s pathetic to be said out in the open because you aren’t there for him to look like a fool in front of. He looks pathetic as he waits for you.

It’s because you don’t call him throughout the day to ask if he’s already brought out the meat to defrost for his lunch or what he wants for dinner because you’re ordering on the way home. It’s because you don’t tell him to text you repeatedly so you wouldn’t fall asleep in traffic and miss out on your dad’s banter. It’s because even if he doesn’t need anything from you; even if you aren’t willing to give and he’s eager to take —

Jungkook will always need you.

( ♡ )

The pain Jungkook feels in his bones simmers before it bubbles over.

It marinates and lulls into his skin warmly before it stings. It’s a soothing type of heat that he mistakes for tension before it starts to sting. The pain he feels in his heart all the way down to the pit of his stomach stings before it boils and bubbles at his skin.

The pain he feels burns him unlike no other.

It’s the type of hurt he feels that no matter how much he rubs at his skin and cries his eyes out, it doesn’t relieve him even the slightest bit. He doesn’t feel the calmness when he goes through every single thing that used to soothe him before, every chance at salvation only for the pain to burn deeper making him more frustrated than the last.

Jungkook cries his eyes out every night and he thinks he’s exhausted all the tears out of himself because he finds himself knocking on your door, waiting for you to grant him entrance as he keeps his breathing at bay.

It’s late at night when you’re buried into doing your requirements that you tumble out of your chair to open the door for Jungkook, figuring that it must be an emergency with the way his knocks are desperate.

His eyes land on you the moment you open the door for him, words crawling out of his mouth as he pleads.

“Let me kiss you."

He’s no stranger to the confusion in your face and it feels as if nothing from the two of you would surprise each other at this point. He knows you’re tired and busy but he can’t stop himself to just reserve what he feels tonight and save it for the morning.

Your mouth flounders in wonder, closing it when you figure that nothing else would be lost from you.

You let Jungkook kiss you.

You taste as sweet as Jungkook thought for you to be and more and he cries. He cries as you allow him to kiss you for the first time and let him knock his forehead against yours as his cheeks are damp with despair, eyes looking down on your finger instinctively.

You know exactly what he’s looking at and it makes you sigh solemnly, pressing your knuckles against your sheets so he wouldn’t be able to see.

“Jungkook-…”

Jungkook refuses to give up because this time, he interrupts you with an even deeper kiss that you accidentally moan into, lost into your senses by the surprise that it makes your eyes close.

He tastes you deeper and longer and he feels like he can’t breathe, inhales feeling heavier and his exhales being fewer that you have to put a hand on his chest to nudge him away from you, a pitiful look spanning across your eyes that makes him shut his.

“Kissing me harder isn't gonna help.”

His initials on your finger don’t magically turn more vibrant, more alive. He thinks he’s exhausted every single tear he could possibly cry but it’s seemingly not over, sobbing into his hands right in front of you.

“Why are you not freaked out that your mark's disappearing?! It's changing! I-it might not even be me anymore!””

Jungkook sobs brokenly when he used to not be able to even have his voice tremble at your presence. His shoulders hunch and give out and you have no choice but to catch him with your hands, fearing that he’d tumble out of the edge of your bed and fall on the floor.

“I thought you wanted this. I’m not consciously controlling this, Jungkook. It's just the same when you had no control of your mark not appearing on you."

His words haven’t left you but so is the remaining little love you have for him, knowing realistically that a single night of confrontation isn’t enough to undo years of loving.

“It's on me now. I-It's showing up on me, but it's disappearing from you."

His sobs wrack his own body and you think for a moment that he’s about to pass out with how much he coughs from getting choked up, springing more tears into his eyes as he feels like puking.

“You started to accept it when I started revoking it."

You mumble to yourself in realization and what pains him is that he’s heard it loud and clear, crumpling into your figure as you unconsciously realize that your hand soothes his back.

Jungkook cries the most in his lifetime, tucking his face into your shirt as he shakes his head back and forth like it was a nightmare he’s just forced to live out, words repeating over and over again.

“Don't shut me out."

He clings onto you more than he’s ever had.

Jungkook looks for you in everything and tries to weasel his way into every day that passes, not the least bit of embarrassment creeping up to him on how he looks like a fool every time you leave him hanging and alone.

He apologizes to you day and night until you grow tired of him; until you roll your eyes at him to give it a rest and just shut up at that point onwards.

He endures the hurt and the rejection you give him over and over again; not even going up to par with half of the hurt he’s unknowingly given you all this time.

Jungkook knows he’s flawed — but he’s certain that he’s not flawed enough to stop trying.

He wakes up to the morning light and goes to sleep at the evening glow with only the prayer that he becomes better, better enough to be deserving of you and better enough to be someone the universe would shift connections for.

He’s flawed, but not flawed enough to think that you owe him your love, regardless of his efforts.

The days are warmer and the gaps are fuller when there’s an incessant knocking on your door. The lights are softer and the nights are kinder when there’s a figure that wedges itself beside your bed, a quiet hum to his voice.

“I told you to start locking your doors.”

Jungkook feels the tiny exhale of breath that leaves you before it turns into a giggle, hugging your pillow closer.

“But it’s you.”

He smiles.

“But it’s me.”

Jungkook lies next to you a little closer, his arms bigger compared to the last months that he now manages to cage you fully and have his hands be able to cup yours without having to stretch further.

There’s nothing cool to the touch because nowadays, you let your ring finger breathe as much as he lets his own mark to be seen.

“There are three types of love, y’know?” he hums to your ear when he knows you’re just about to be lulled back to your sleep, able to see you clearly in the dark because no matter what light the both if you are underneath in, he only sees you.

“I was your first, right? Jimin's the second, I’m sure,” he breathily laughs, taking away the hair from your nape because he knows that it bothers you. “I can be the third. I-I can be your third love. I’ll work for it."

For only a second too long that it’s quiet, your voice cutting through the air.

“You can't be my third love, Jungkook,” you hum just as long as his heart stops beating. “You're my only love."

Your eyes are still closed when you silently profess the love that’s never left you, oblivious to how Jungkook is as stiff as concrete behind you that you feel his shoulders lose the hurt immediately. “I’ve loved you three times through."

Jungkook could only hope that it’s not the sleep talking.

He knows you’re real beyond anything and anyone. You’re tangible and fragile and he’s come to learn it a thousand times more. “I’ll love you three times more."

For the longest time on end did Jungkook feel that he’s been falling but the impact never comes. He would’ve wanted to feel it either way, but either way, he’d know that it would be fine. That he would be fine. That the two of you will be fine and it’s you who he entrusts to spend all of his infinites with, no matter the hurt.

“I love you more than you'll ever know.”