Drakengard 3 Was A Good Game I Will Die On This Hill

Children of Men (2006)

Dir. Alfonso Cuarón / DP: Emmanuel Lubezki

Any advice, or links to pages I can get advice, for things like tucking, and getting started trying to pass? I really appreciate any help you can give me! Hope to hear from you soon. Isabel-Lynn

Dear Isabel-Lynn:

Tucking:

To those of you who don’t know what tucking means, it basically means to hide the fact you have a ‘malehood’ as some call it. Some find it incredibly uncomfortable and others are completely okay with it. My recommendation is that you read here…

http://www.racked.com/2010/8/3/7792181/how-to-tuck-dolls-stepbystep-guide-to-packaging-and-panties

And -only- in the section predated by “in RuPaul’s book Lettin’ It All Hang Out she outlines the perfect tuck.” I’m not too much of a fan of the rest of the article given it feels kind of… Uncomfortably worded.

If tucking hurts, don’t do it. It’s not worth damaging your body.

Starting to pass- THE VOICE:

Voice training voice training voice training. I struggle with my voice because I am abhorrently tone deaf, however it is important that you start to try. There are many places to look or to try to look for voice training help, though professional voice trainers exist and I’ve heard miraculous things about them before. 

If you want to try it at home, there’s a wonderful reddit post. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/

You *may or may not be* comfortable with taking a voice recording program and playing back how you hear. While it can be uncomfortable it can also help you piece out what your issue is. Many DMAB [designated male @ birth] women struggle with their voice because they think pitch is everything. My biggest struggle is learning to not speak with my throat and chest, which causes the deeper ‘rumbly’ parts of your voice. Keep at it, hon, it’s something we all struggle with.

Starting to pass- THE LOOKS:

Find what works for you. I have found things that do work for me or don’t work for me whatsoever, for example eyeliner works great for me. For me, Target sells cheap but good makeup to get started with. It won’t cost you $100 for a single piece, but it’s still not cheap! Straightening my hair works great for me– get haircuts! Don’t be afraid to find androgynous ones if you feel safest not going straight to fully feminine. It’s totally understandable. 

Things that shape your face in ways you like are important. Scarves in the winter can help hide your adam’s apple if it’s prominent. Take care of your hands– use moisturizer, take care of your nails, the likes. 

Starting to pass- THE CLOTHES:

You’re a girl! Find clothes you like. Don’t be afraid to wear guy’s clothing if you want– it’s your choice– but I’ve personally found that it’s difficult to not frame my shoulders in an obvious way. I’ve seen some people recommend waist cinches (basically a corset) but I recommend being cautious about this. I don’t know the health risks. Below are two highly rated women’s waist cinches.

https://www.amazon.com/Flexees-Instant-Slimmer-Waistnipper-6868/dp/B0007UOLIK/ref=pd_sbs_a_17

https://www.amazon.com/Squeem-Magical-Lingerie-Shapewear-Compression/dp/B000QWA2GY/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1326843132&sr=1-1

Find colors and shapes that work for you. Frilled skirts can break some of the image.

OTHER THINGS- HORMONES

Hormones! If you’re a transgender woman, hormones are important. They do a lot for you. They make your body redistribute fat, soften the facial features, slim certain areas, (apparently they shrink your shoe size), reduce hair growth in certain locations (not the face), and in general soften the skin and hair. Try looking for local doctors regarding hormonal replacement therapy [HRT]. 

OTHER THINGS- SHAVING

Shaving your face is one of the important things. Sadly an obvious beard or shadow is a pretty good giveaway. If you’re going for guaranteed full-time, laser procedures (while requiring many visits) are able to almost permanently remove your facial hair. It can be somewhat painful and sensitive after (I’ve heard it be compared to having a rubber band be snapped against your face). 

OTHER THINGS- BE YOURSELF

Don’t ever, ever think that you can’t be yourself. Be the person that you want to see yourself be, don’t sacrifice interests or passions for the sake of trying to pass. If you like to skateboard, skateboard. Videogames– play them! Be yourself. Confidence is key and you won’t be confident if you forego every interst you’ve had that’s masculine. Love yourself and treat yourself like you are who you want to be– but don’t forget that you don’t have to leave everything behind.

I hope this helps you and everyone else on here that needs help, Isabel-Lynn. The future will be bright. While things may be scary now, there is always a light in the darkness to move towards. 

We need to get back to work…

I have to believe there was a purpose.

“David Bowie was an inspiration. As a songwriter, he had this intense vitality throughout his entire career. He mad e aging as a recording artist seem totally doable in a vital way. I remember seeing the Ziggy Stardust album everywhere when I was a kid. People used to have all their vinyl in their living rooms, like part of the decor. You would see Let It Be and the faces of the Beatles everywhere, in a corner. At some point, I’d seen Ziggy enough that it piqued my interest, so I probably stole it from somebody. Listening to that record was a bit like going to college, like the Beatles. The songwriting is incredible. I didn’t know anything about him, and it was a bit past when that album was a moment in pop culture, but I didn’t care. I was interested in the songs and loved every single song on the album. When Scary Monsters came out, I saw him performing on a talk show, and I saw the "Ashes to Ashes” video where he dressed in some strange European clown costume. That had a huge impact on me. Because my first interpretation of him was the red-haired, androgynous Ziggy Stardust character, and seeing him like this made me think, “Oh, you can be whoever you want. You can live a hundred lives. You can create you and you can recreate you, and it’s viable.” He was the one that proved that that works. I finally got to see him live on the Serious Moonlight Tour, around Let’s Dance, in 1983. I was a huge fan by then and I really didn’t want to go to that show, because it was at the Tacoma Dome, and I didn’t like big crowds. But I went anyway. It was somewhat uncomfortable for me, but the show and the sound and everything about the set and the songs were incredible. The theatrics stood out to me. The Simms brothers were on that tour as backing vocalists, and I remember when they weren’t singing, they would stay onstage and sit in the corner at a table and play cards. Nobody ever left the stage. It was an atmosphere where it was theatrical, but relaxed. When you’re a kid from Seattle, you’ve never seen anything like that before, and it was in the context of a pop record, so he didn’t have to do that. He could have done anything he wanted. I saw the Police at the same dome, and they just came out and played Police songs and that was that. He didn’t leave it like that I was super impressed. He was like one of those actors that fully embodies the character that he’s creating. He was extremely transformative during different periods of his career. There was something about it that was very European and very not American. American rock bands would walk out like, “This is us and this is who we are and that’s what we do,” which I think is great, but Bowie was not like that. Later in my life, I was part of a Vanity Fair music issue, where there were a lot of pretty amazing people there for a photo shoot. He was one of them. That was the first time I met him. I’d almost rather not meet someone I’m a fan of because I’m afraid that they’re gonna say or do something that’s going to then change how I feel when I listen to their music. But he was an incredible guy, super inclusive and warm. I’m always uncomfortable in most situations, and he made everybody comfortable. He was this bright light. Our conversation was very much, “How are you doing?” and “Isn’t this fun? Isn’t it exciting to be in the same room with Stevie Wonder and Joni Mitchell at the same time?” It was just normal conversations. It’s like he saw I was uncomfortable and went out of his way to alleviate that discomfort and make me feel happy about it. It was a compassionate moment for a guy that didn’t necessarily have to be that way. Despite my worries, I walked out more excited to listen to his music. I’ve played his song “Lady Stardust,” from Ziggy Stardust, live in my solo shows over the years because I always loved it on the album, and, for some reason, it reminds me of Andy Wood. I wanted to play it in tribute to him, but then I ended up writing a bunch of songs for Temple of the Dog and those took precedence. When Soundgarden split up in ‘98, I came across that song, and I remember sitting in my car in the driveway listening to it, and there’s that lyric, “He was all right, the band was all together,” and it’s so hopeful. My band had just broken up. And it really gutted me. So that was when I started doing it. I haven’t played it more than a couple times live, but it’s like the one song of his that I’ve always been drawn to. I just really love it. When I woke up yesterday, I was already thinking about David Bowie. I was checking out his new record a couple of days ago; I was reading about it, I’d listened to a few songs. Then I saw the news. Hearing he’d died was just a really sad thing. I was very happy with Blackstar. I was really happy with his last album, The Next Day, too. Both albums show an ongoing evolution. I need people like David Bowie, people who are always moving on and not in a frustrating or slovenly way. It encourages me because I want to be able to write music and create albums until I drop dead. I’d heard about him being ill over the last couple of years, so it wasn’t a huge surprise, but just reading about his album a couple of days ago, I’d been thinking, “Oh, he’s better. He’s fine.” It was sad to feel like that’s not going to happen and we’re not gonna see him again. You don’t know how important someone is to you as an artistic influence until suddenly they’re gone. I’ve certainly been having that experience. It’s kind of equal parts sad and celebratory to think, “Awesome. What an amazing career he had and what an amazing legacy he’s left for everybody." 

 - Chris Cornell’s tribute to David Bowie.

“Feel, he told himself, feel, feel, feel. Even if what you feel is pain, only let yourself feel.” ― P.D. James, The Children of Men

Goodbye, friend.