Lauracal78 - Slice Of Freedom

Gurls Night OUT!

A well written letter. Thank you Amanda. Such true words.🥰

So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

🏳️‍⚧️❤️💯

REBLOG THIS IF YOU WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH A TRANS PERSON.

Im trying to prove to my friend that a lot of people will accept him as the gender he is just as they would the gender he was born as. He is afraid to come out especially because he is a polysexual trans.

Maria Rodrigues

Ladies, Encourage Your Men to be Girly

I share often that my wife is tolerant of my dressing girly, often supportive of me in my girliness, and sometimes encouraging.  We have a great relationship and my girliness does not hinder that.  I wish that it enhanced it, but I don’t think I can make that claim.  Less frequent are the times when my wife suggests that I be girly.  Most of the time, she accepts it when she sees it.  Rarely though, does she propose that I put on feminine clothing.

There have been those moments when I dressed and we went out.  There’s a whole episode of her buying me a pair of Keds and us walking around the mall together without a stitch of male clothing on my body.  It was a fantastic evening!  And there are have been some times when she bought me something girly for “fun”.  But perhaps the best moments are when she asks me to wear something feminine.  Again, it’s very rare, but it has happened.  “Why don’t you put on a bra and some panties, get comfy, and let’s watch a movie together?”  Now, that was an incredible night in more ways than one!

There are certainly times when I wish my wife would be more forthcoming in asking me to wear something girly.  I fear to push it, though.  I don’t want to scare her from it and I’ll take what I can get.  I’ve expressed many times to her that I have no desire to be a woman or even to try and pass as a woman.  Even still, I don’t push it.  Perhaps someday, she will be more suggestive.  

I’d like to say something to the cis-gendered girls out there, if by chance any of them actually follow my blog: Encourage your guys to embrace the feeling of girly clothing.  Encourage them to wear bras and panties, sexy lingerie, cute shoes, and anything else that can bring out their girly side. Suggest late night romps as girlfriends, propose a shopping trip and insist that he must wear all girl’s clothing, or have a girly spa-like day filled with leg shaving, pedicures, makeovers, etc.  Prod him to accept his feminine feelings, emotions, and actions. Make it fun for him and for you too. You’ll be surprised what embracing femininity could do for him, for you, and for your relationship. I think that you’d also be surprised that outside of his girly moments that you encourage, he’ll still be the man you love.

Girliness is happiness.

CandieHart

Quite a few.☺️

Reblog if you love to dress like a girl. Sissy only!!!