I Didn’t Plan To Be Here So I Don’t Know How To Be Here

None of this would’ve been an issue if I just killed myself at 16

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

Why do I feel this bad

My parents are okay people

I have money

Education

Everything everyone wants

So why do I still feel this shitty

Tw sui talk and attempt

Me having to support my boyfriend after I tried to kms and apologising.

Am I selfish for wanting to scream that mabye it was harder for me??

Am I selfish for wanting the tiniest bit of support??

Like im sorry I tried to kill myself but obviously im going through some shit.

He then proceeded to dump on me how he was sucicudial and acted like he got it

I'd been suicidal for as long as I can remember

Im sorry me killing myself fucked with him I really am

But I feel like he didn't even bother to consider that mabge it fuxked with me

Mabye I get flashbacks and panic attacks because of it

How about both 😎

Pfft physical pain? Have you ever tried having bpd

You ask why I didn't reply to your text

I wanted too

But the weight of a conversation felt impossible to carry

You ask why I dont text back

I tried too

But I was scared id say the wrong thing

You ask why I never tell you things

I want to

But im scared you'll hate me for everything I do

You ask why I dont talk

I tried too

The words couldnt seem to come out

You ask why I dont wanna be your friend

I want to

But I couldnt handle you leaving

So I left first

Pov you went to select mental illness on character creator and accidently clicked select all whoops.

(Not all I guess. Just-- alot.)

Friend may I propose: The Wisp Sings

I want someone to love me

To choose me, to risk something for me

God knows no one has tried

Me this Wee..

I cant get up without getting spliting headache and vertigo :///

HAVE STUFF TO DO.I want to like be physical and active and keep myself healthy but I took a 30 minute walk 2 days ago right I try to take daily walks and 1 had to lay in bed all day after becuse I was so freaking exhausted. A 30 minute walk. I literally just wondered aroundddd guyyss

Just a poem I wrote..

So let the winds carry my body,

To brighter places, where you might be,

Lift me up above the clouds

I’ll search all of Tennessee

I wish I didn’t have to unlove,

But know, in dreams, you’re still my dove

A love that never quite got to run

We walked, we crawled, and laid to rest under the sun

I wish I didn’t have to unlove

A bottomless black hole I see

Where nothing lives, and sadness feeds

A soul rotting into the other

Decomposing in the depths of eternity

In the vast darkness that entangles me

I’ll always remember you in the fall

That’s where it first began

I wish I didn’t have to unlove you at all.