Y’all I Love Him I Promise He’s Mentally Stable (I’m Lying)

my least favourite turn based strategy game is email

You'll change your name or change your mind And leave this fucked up place behind inspo ↓

ON PERCY’S YEAR OF MARITAL STRAIN.           meta analysis

           i think about this a lot my dudes. this is going to be really long because it includes QUOTES.

“Armand knew that: her impulses and imprudence, knew it still better; but Blakeney was slow-witted, he would not listen to “circumstances,” he only clung to facts, and these had shown him Lady Blakeney denouncing a fellow man to a tribunal that knew no pardon: and the contempt he would feel for the deed she had done, however unwittingly, would kill that same love in him, in which sympathy and intellectuality could never had a part.”

so ok there are a few things here. one is that armand is very wrong in the fact that percy is an idiot. percy is far from slow-witted, but on the other hand, armand is right that in this scenario, percy only listened to facts.  percy DID just take the information on marguerite’s supposed part in the eventual execution of the marquis de st cyr … at face value. which ok yeah is he hypervigilant because he’s the scarlet pimpernel, yes. but also, he decided not to trust his wife. the woman he adores more than life itself ( and no, his love for her never died ) and because of this disaster yes of course there was strain on their marriage, even when — no, especially when percy found out that marguerite was tricked and in the matter she was innocent. 

percy is prepared for basically every situation, he KNEW marguerite had once been friends (?) with chauvelin. even if he didn’t let on how much he knew about her, he’s the scarlet pimpernel, he keeps himself informed on people because there’s also an inherent fear of betrayal. and nothing could’ve prepared him for hearing about this — and so he was suspicious of her for the entire fucking year because he had this kneejerk reaction. for percy, knowing he was WRONG was absolute hell. he hates that more than if he’d been right in thinking he married someone who could betray him. because he hurt her. he was distant and honestly really fake in basically every aspect for the whole year and she was miserable. and she comes to warn the scarlet pimpernel about chauvelin, not knowing it’s percy, and he’s literally punched in the gut because what does he do now, knowing the truth and knowing he’s been an absolute ass, a real idiot, for NO REASON — 

and STILL, his pride stands in his way, he can’t even tell her when they’re in the garden of THEIR OWN HOME? instead, percy is still a goddamn headass, 

“Twenty-four hours after our marriage, Madame, the Marquis de St. Cyr and all his family perished on the guillotine, and the popular rumour reached me that it was the wife of Sir Percy Blakeney who helped to send them there.”

“Nay! I myself told you the truth of that odious tale.”

“Not till after it had been recounted to me by strangers, with all its horrible details.”

“And you believed them then and there,” she said with great vehemence, “without a proof or question–you believed that I, whom you vowed you loved more than life, whom you professed you worshipped, that I could do a thing so base as these STRANGERS chose to recount. […] had you listened, I would have told you that up to the very morning on which St. Cyr went to the guillotine, I was straining every nerve, using every influence I possessed, to save him and his family. But my pride sealed my lips, when your love seemed to perish, as if under the knife of that same guillotine. Yet I would have told you how I was duped! […] I was tricked into doing this thing, by men who knew how to play upon my love for an only brother, and my desire for revenge. Was it unnatural?”

percy gets to know that wow he really fucked up. literally right before this exchange, he accuses her of basically just kicking his affections aside ( as evidently , the marquis was executed a year before they married ), and then. THEN, this dumbass fucks up AGAIN. marguerite tells percy armand is in danger, and he basically tells her ‘ask chauvelin for help’ because good god he’s really just doing HORRIBLY, so we get to this,

“Faith, Madame, since it distresses you, we will not speak of it… . As for Armand, I pray you have no fear. I pledge you my word that he shall be safe. Now, have I your permission to go? The hour is getting late, and …”

“You will at least accept my gratitude?” she said, as she drew quite close to him, and speaking with real tenderness.

With a quick, almost involuntary effort he would have taken her then in his arms, for her eyes were swimming in tears, which he longed to kiss away; but she had lured him once, just like this, then cast him aside like an ill-fitting glove. He thought this was but a mood, a caprice, and he was too proud to lend himself to it once again.

at this point, you’re probably wondering if i’ll ever be done talking about this or if percy’s headassery gets any better and in order yes and … not during this particular interaction. because percy’s a FUCKWIT, he actually CAN’T function if he doesn’t have a plan for a situation. without that absolute control of things from his perspective, he’s truly as stupid as he pretends to be, and it shows. the worst part is uhh as soon as he just tells marguerite ‘it’s late go to bed’, mind you, she’s in tears, HE KNOWS THE TRUTH NOW. HE FLAT OUT WITNESSED IT and HE’S STILL ACTING LIKE THIS. yet, he’s too fucking prideful to show his emotions until marguerite goes into the house and percy … 

Before entering, she paused once again to look at him, hoping against hope to see his arms stretched out to her, and to hear his voice calling her back. But he had not moved; his massive figure looked the very personification of unbending pride, of fierce obstinacy.

Hot tears again surged to her eyes, and as she would not let him see them, she turned quickly within, and ran as fast as she could up to her own rooms.

Had she but turned back then […] she would have seen […] a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and his own despair. Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone: the will was powerless. He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love, and as soon as her light footsteps had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade there, where her tiny hand had rested last.

percy worships the ground marguerite walks on, LITERALLY. and he always has, and the issue is that he let his pride win in those moments and if she hadn’t figured out he was the scarlet pimpernel, who knows if this shit would ever have been resolved? that very thought haunts him. all of this haunts him, and honestly, it’s what he’d consider his greatest failure in life. he hurt the woman he loves more than his own life and even if she forgives him, even when she does, he never forgives himself for this.

you know you’re reaching new lows when you’re reading fanfiction for gothic literature and its making you giggle and kick your feet

I’m a glass half full kinda guy cause then I have more water that way

[L→R] A Wanderer’s Birthday Wish

Sickly dad keeping his kids warm during the winter. Or something. He still has a use for his over-sized clothes

This is the explanation:

loving the new canon outfits

hyde gives me confidence in myself as a disabled cane-using person. i didn’t know i could beat someone to death with a cane

I don’t like being referred to as a boy