This Is The Funniest Thing I’ve Read In My LIFE

This Is The Funniest Thing I’ve Read In My LIFE

this is the funniest thing I’ve read in my LIFE

More Posts from Little-soldi3rs and Others

3 months ago

Mustang was very brave to build his team with a chronically-single french man, a guy who was born for IT in a world without, a guy who's definitely from their equivalent of New York, two orphans that are homeless by choice, his not-wife that he has a suicide pact with, and Vato Falman

6 months ago

asking sincerely. do you see a romance between jayce and viktor? do you think they ended up being something romantic at the end?

With apologies I am going to only half talk about the thing you are asking me, since I have something else on my mind and you happened to hit the button that makes me vomit it into words.

Coming at this from an aromantic perspective, I obviously don't experience the state of absurd obsessive delusion that you bizarre romantic freaks fetishize so feverishly*, but I am often annoyed by the idea that friendship and romance are either opposites or mutually exclusive. From my perspective, the boundary between the two is at best thin, and more realistically not actually a boundary at all except by cultural construction.

*i am taking an excessively hostile, crass tone for my own amusement i do not mean this seriously please be normal at me, weird allo freaks

I won't get into my full feelings about the end of Arcane, but it seems perfectly plain to me that the script, the imagery and the animation presents Jayce and Viktor as two halves of a whole, not opposing forces but alike to yin and yang: opposites which each contain the other. And at the climax of the show, the greatest peril to life and peace in the narrative is resolved by these two men literally joining their bodies and souls together, and going into eternity holding one another for comfort and strength. They are quite literally soulmates, quite literally the most important people in one another's lives.

I don't think that that kind of intimate emotional connection between men must necessarily be either romantic or sexual - I am aromantic, and plenty of ace people exist, and there is nothing in our natures excluding us from intense connections of love with other people of any gender.

I also think it is willfully ignorant (and genuinely homophobic) to act as though these deep connections are mutually exclusive with sex and romance. As though if Viktor and Jayce fucked nasty and made out sloppy style, suddenly their intimacy is less pure or valid, or tainted somehow.

"If these two men who are emotionally close to one another also fuck or get romantically involved, then friendship is dead, murdered on the floor by a dick-shaped knife; vile sexuality corrupts and debases the true, pure and virtuous love of ✨friendship✨" <- This shit is homophobic at a baseline, queerphobic in general, and frankly as an aromantic man I find it pretty fucking insulting as well.

What, are my friendships with other men just inherently more pure and divine, more meaningful and true than a gay man's can ever be, because I will never suffer the vile temptation of adding romance to my affection? Is that how I should think of myself? And is an aroace man more pure than me still, the only source of TRUE male friendship that a man can ever experience, free from the pustulant corruption of sexuality and romantic desire?

You get this pathetic defensiveness (especially from men, but other genders aren't immune) wherein sex and sexuality and romance between men is perceived as a threat to men's right and ability to experience deep connection to each other. But the emotional castration of men comes not from people imagining sex and romance as a component of our relationships - it comes from people who insist that our emotional lives must be ruled by strict binaries. Sex and romance, OR ELSE friendship. Deep romantic connection OR ELSE deep platonic connection. Pick one and do not dare to imagine both, nor act as though the boundary between them is something that we built by cultural fiat, and which can be dismantled just the same.

And yes, yes, yes, I know there are cultural forces literally illuminati-style conspiring to systemically erase the entire existence of explicitly romantic, sexual male love from media, and I know that homophobic puritanism is on the rise and there are material concerns and a real necessity for explicit representation in fiction, yes I know. Everything is more complicated than a tumblr post can cover, I am not trying to Solve Rainbow Capitalism™ over here, I am trying to express frustration as an aromantic man that this stupid fucking binary keeps getting culturally reinforced by both my enemies and my well-meaning allies, when I think the binary is what's fucking killing us in the first place.

So anyway. My position is that Viktor and Jayce can be entirely aromantic no-homo friends, and they can fuck nasty in the throes of mutual need and obsession, and I refuse to entertain the idea that there is an irresolvable contradiction between those things. Each of those can contain the other, or become the other given time and circumstance.

What the imagery, storytelling and script of Arcane makes clear is that Viktor and Jayce love each other more than life itself. To say that that love must be shoved into the box of either "platonic" or "romantic" is to miss out on almost everything that is beautiful about love. It can be both and neither! It can be a secret third, ninth or fifteenth thing that they haven't invented a tag for on Ao3 yet.

They are giving each other whatever the spiritual mind-ghost equivalent of sloppy backshots are on the ethereal plain forever, they are the most romantic lovers in the cosmos, and they are also the most chaste and platonic life-partner friends you have ever seen, effortlessly intimate and unashamedly tender. They are men who love one another, in every way that love matters.

You can pick whichever interpretation brings you joy, and resonates with what your heart needs, the text of the show is eminently and explicity open to it, and anyone who says otherwise either failed to pay attention, or refused to pay attention on purpose.


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5 months ago
"Remember, Comrade, One Day I Will Conquer The World!"🐳

"Remember, comrade, one day I will conquer the world!"🐳


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1 year ago
Belos Redemption Fics
Belos Redemption Fics

belos redemption fics

7 months ago

My dream for the election is that it’s definitive. I want a 2012-style Election Day where everyone built it up beforehand to possibly be close but then the results start rolling in and it was like “Oh, nevermind. It’s obviously Obama. Everyone go to bed.”

I just want voters to put a stake right through the heart of Trumpism so that it crumbles to ash before our eyes. That’s the dream.


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9 months ago

my headcanons for genshin characters' full names (plus some canon ones lol) ^-^

Travelers:

Aether Sirius Viator

Lumine Spica Viator

Paimon Alycone Merope

Mondstadt:

Albedo Erich Kreideprinz

Amber Ida Hasenkamp-Xia

Astrologist Mona Magdalena Megistus

Barbara “Barbie” Liselotte Pegg

Bennett Anselm Mallory

Dahlia Bram Batz

Diluc Bastian Ragnvindr

Diona Dafni Kätzlein

Eula Babette Lawrence

Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort

Jeanette “Jean” Elke Gunnhildr

Kaeya Rivaan Alberich / Ragnvindr

Klee Käthe Kessler

Lisa Fiorella Minci

Michael “Mika” Clemens Schmidt

Noelle Petra Desroche

Razor Rolf Minci

Rosaria Karoline Nacht

Vanda “Sucrose” Anneliese Hertz

Varka Johann Bahl

Venti Detlef Daiber / Barbatos

Liyue:

Bai Chongyun

Cai Yanfei

Dai Yaoyao

Ding Xiao

Fei Xingqiu

Hu Tao

Huang Zhongli / Morax / Rex Lapis / Deus Auri

Lei Beidou

Lu Xinyan

Luo Ganyu

Luo Shenhe

Luo Xianyun

Mao Xiangling

Xue Baizhu

Xue Qiqi

Yan Yelan

Yao Ningguang

Yip Gaming

Yun Jin

Zhuang Keqing

Inazuma:

Arataki Itto

Kaedehara Kazuha

Kamisato Ayaka

Kamisato Ayato

Koizumi Chiori

Kujou Sara

Kuki Shinobu

Naganohara Yoimiya

Nekoba Kirara

Raiden Ei / Beelzebul

Raiden Shogun

Sangonomiya Kokomi

Shikanoin Heizou

Shikanoin Sayu

Takeishi Gorou

Thomas Oskar Rothschild / Akatsuki Thoma

Yae Miko

Sumeru:

Al-Haitham ibn Jamir ibn Zaid Sader

Candace bint Hamza ibn Ahmar Asim

Collei bint Tighnari ibn Zayd Habib

Cyno Cyrus Bamoun El-Hafez

Dehya bint Kusayla ibn Malek Hashim

Dori Yildiz / “Dori Sangemah Bay”

Faruzan Azimi

Imai Kunimitsu (Wanderer)

Kaveh Roshan

Layla Yildiz

Nahida Ijaz / Lesser Lord Kusanali / Buer

Nilou Golshan

Sethos Cyrus Bamoun El-Abdelfatteh

Tighnari ibn Zayd ibn Kyree Jubran

Fontaine:

Charlotte Benoîte LaFramboise

Chevreuse Cosette Caideux

Clorinde Maëlle Archambault

Emilie Rose Lavande

Freminet Corentin Snezhevich

Furina Regine Babineaux / “Furina de Fontaine”

Lynette Veronique Alarie-Snezhevna

Lyney Valentin Alarie-Snezhevich

Marion Devereaux Neuvillette

Navia Reine Caspar

Sigewinne Elyna Arquette

Warren Gaultier Wriothesley

Natlan:

Chasca Rivas

Citlali Huitzli

Iansan Kẹyinde

Kachina Nanatzcayan

Kinich Huitztlan

Mavuika Whakatāne / Haborym

Mualani Ka’aukai

Oluwatoke Kọlade

Xilonen Nocelotl

Fatui (pretty much all of these will change as the game progresses):

Ajax Klimentovich Melnik / Tartaglia

Ceylse Aurelia Valerian / Columbina

Cosette Margot Bourreau / Sandrone

Crepus Arnfried Ragnvindr / Brighella

Jin Chaoxing / Pantalone

Peruere Genevieve Snezhevna / Arlecchino

Raiden Kunikuzushi / Scaramouche

Rosalyne-Kruzchka Lohefalter / La Signora

Rurik Vadimovich Vorobyev / Pulcinella

Ulrik Agnar Ingolf / Pierro

Tatiana Snezhevna Agapov / the Tsaritsa

Tlacelel Itzcuintlan / Il Captiano

Zandik Nazeri / Il Dottore

Hexenzirkel (again, will change):

Alice Thekla Kessler / "A"

Anya M. Andersdotter / "M"

Astromancer Barbeloth Oda Trismegistus / "B"

Inessa Ivanova Nikulina / "J"

Nicole Reeyn-Ragnvindr / "N"

Octavia Campana / "O"

Idun “Gold” Rhinedottir / "R"

NPCS!!!

(I HAVE A CLEAR FAVORITE NATION)

Mondstadt NPCs:

Adelinde Nett

Adelram Kreideprinz / Durin

Anna and Anthony Heilbrunn

Charles Schenck

Callirhoe Dupuis

Chloris and Flora Diefenbach

Cyrus Laukkanen

Donna Fenimore

Draff Kätzlein

Edith Rayne / Dr. Edith

Ella Musk

Ellin Sheridan

Elzer Boivin

Eury and Nimrod Poirot

Glory Taggart

Godwin Cross

Grace Kappel

Herrik Huffman

Hertha Bonamy

Maeve Livingstone / Dr. Livingstone

Margaret Winfrey

Marjorie Brightwen

Mellan König / Decarabian

Neven Gale / Dvalin

Patchi Driscoll

Patton Schüttmann

Sara Küchler

Siegfria Knochenmus

Timaeus Kloet

Vennessa Aguilar

Victoria Strohkirch

Vile Gagnon

Wagner McGowan

Liyue NPCs:

Gao Haixia / Beisht

Gao Shui / Osial

Huichen Guizhong / Haagentus

Mao Chaoxiang / Chef Mao

Mao Guoba / Marchosius / God of the Stove

Qui Tianlong / Azhdaha

Yi Nuo / Havria

Inazuma NPCs:

Arataki Takuya

Hinoyama Enjou

Raiden Makoto / Baal

Sumeru NPCs:

Amun Al-Ahmar / Deshret

Lilavati Trygve Alberich (post-marriage)'/ Lilavati Kartik Mishra (pre-marriage) / Kaeya's Mom

Nabu Malikata

Parisa Rukkhadevata

Fontaine NPCs:

Alouette Désirée Dupont / Egeria

Elynas Arsène Auclair

Fanchone Océane de Fontaine / Focalors

Remus Berceuse Adagio

all melusines (aside from sigewinne) have the surname "Auclair"

Snezhnaya NPCs:

Aleksander Klimentovich Melnik

Andronika Klimentevna Melnik

Anton Klimentovich Melnik

Teucer Klimentovich Melnik

Theodor Klimentovich Melnik

Tonia Klimentevna Melnik

Khaenri'ah NPCs:

Anfortas Asgeir Alberich

Caribert Alvar Alberich

Chlothar Flosi Alberich

Dainsleif Olan Asketill

Halfdan Munin Lien

Trygve Einar Alberich / Kaeya's Dad

Vedrfolnir Asketill / "the Sinner"


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7 months ago

make your bed this morning. eat breakfast. wear clothes that make you happy. hug your loved ones. be kind to yourself.

do it, and be selfish about it, because only you can do it for yourself.

2 months ago

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

2 years ago
Precious Man (not In Black!) Sighted ❤ (x,x)

Precious man (not in black!) sighted ❤ (x,x)

Neil Gaiman: Hi, I'm Neil Gaiman. I'm wearing the first red T-shirt I've worn since 1987. Because I'm a member of the WGA. I'm on strike. I care so much for the things that I've written but I'm out here right now not working and here until we get a good contract because I care about the future of the WGA, the future of young writers. I want a world in which no AI writes scripts or attempts to. I want a world in which young writers get to learn how to make television. And I want a world in which we are fairly compensated for the things that we put up on streaming.

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ace ♡ she/her ♡ FE, Pokémon, DMC, Ace Attorney, and much much more lmao

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