Pilot Girlfriends Trying To Shoot Each Other Down

yelena to kate “stay out of my way”

the next day

yelena “oh my god your mom is satan”

what eye fucking with someone who 'reeks of Jedi' does to a mf

Just an everyday conversation between the two Hawkeyes...

On the phone...

Kate, dramatically flings herself onto the couch: You would not believe what happened today, Clint! The most awful horrible thing that I have ever seen in my entire life…and that’s saying something considering that I have lived in the city my entire existence and have actually-unfortunately-witnessed on several occasions people just pull their pants down and take massive dumps in extremely public places…like you’re just sittin’ on the subway and then-bam!-suddenly someone is doing their business and you can’t even leave because you are on the SUBWAY. MOVING. UNDERGROUND. And it’s like really man?—

Clint, exasperated: Kate! Kate! Get to the point, kid. What happened?

Kate: So, I took Lucky and Fanny for a walk today. A long walk, which we haven’t been on in a while because I’ve been soooo busy with the end of the semester and everything and Lena usually takes them out for their long walks. We were strolling down the sidewalk…it’s just starting to warm up here and I was thinking about how Lucky’s fur looks so gold and shiny…and then. IT. HAPPENED. He walked right past a half-eaten piece of pepperoni pizza! I’m not kidding, Clint! RIGHT. PAST. IT. Like it wasn’t even there! His favorite food! His damn namesake! And he walked right past it. Like STRUTTED past it with his nose up! Normally he would run so fast to get to it that he would knock down everyone on the block and myself included—there would be shouting and people flippin’ us off—and today nothing—it was so sad.

Clint: Let me get this straight. You’re upset that people weren’t shouting and flipping you off?

Kate, continues dramatically: No, Clint! I’m upset—no, disturbed, yeah disturbed is the word—that Lucky STRUTTED past a piece of pizza. He didn’t even glance at it. It is so sad what she has done to him. Corrupted him. He is so obedient now.

Clint: Kid, a dog can’t live on pizza. 

Kate, groans and proceeds to attempt at imitating Yelena’s accent: No, Kate Bishop. Do not feed him human food.

Clint:…

The door opens…and Lucky and Fanny bolt to greet Yelena.

Kate, sits up quickly: Lena! Hi! You’re home! Is that my hoodie? Lucky was so good on our walk today! Weren’t you buddy?! So good! I don’t know how you did it! It’s a miracle! He’s so well behaved!

Clint, rubs his hands over his face, exhausted: wOw. Just. wOw.

Yelena, leans down and kisses both Lucky and Fanny on the head, before she takes a seat next to Kate on the couch.

A few seconds pass...

Kate, pouts: Don’t I get a kiss too?

Yelena, turns to her with a frown: No, Kate. That accent was shameful.

Kate:…Shit.

Clint: Kate? Kid, you still there?

Natasha: You know, when I was your age—

Kate: You know, when I was your height…

Natasha:

Natasha: Now listen here you little shit—

I see the fucking vision. Stay tuned, because this will not be the last manip I do with those Outfits. Remember you can use this handle for your stories, just don't forget to give credits

Kingpin: Did you take out Kate Bishop like I requested?

Yelena: Kate has been taken out, yes

Kingpin: You have my grat-

Yelena: It was a great restaurant

Kingpin: That’s not-

Yelena: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Stormtrooper: Here are your howlers.

Shin: I want a white one

Stormtrooper: That's what we have

Shin crossing her arms and pouting: I won't get on that if it's not white.

Stormtrooper: You can tell your Padawan that...

Baylan: That's not the same shade of black as my clothes.

Stormtrooper: But sir...

Baylan: Do we speak in Ewok?

Shin taking out her lightsaber : Go and look for some that match our outfits or they'll have to get other mercenaries.

i’m down bad for 2024 rejanis enemies to lovers

Bishova will always be superior

The cosmos are aligned (second art by @lizzieblopaz24)

Bishova idea: The first time Kate saw Yelena drunk, because I imagine that's not easy to happen

I don't know, it's a silly thought. Kate seeing Yelena laughing at things that don't make sense but still having an aim and balance that no drunk person should have. Having ideas like adopting several ducks and training them to dance the Swan Lake and Kate almost accepting it but knowing she can't because the sober Yelena will kill her later for letting this happen

omg wait I love this

——

“Hasn’t she drank like two handles already?” Kate groaned.

“Yes she has. I don’t know where she puts it all,” Natasha said.

“Kaaaate! Katie Katttt,” Yelena whined.

“Yes baby?” Kate said, holding an arm around the Russian’s waist to help her stand.

“Letsss do the darts Kate Bishop!”

“Oh no you don’t. We don’t need someone losing an eye because you’re drunk!” Kate said, steering her girlfriend away from the dart board in the bar.

“I am not drunk,” Yelena pouted. “It is simply a buzz, sestra,” she said, crookedly pointing at Natasha who was sat on a bar stool. “Watch me!”

Kate stared in awe as Yelena had somehow gotten her hands on darts anyway, throwing multiple bullseyes in a row. “If I was drunk could I do that?!”

“Hmm maybe not…” Kate thought aloud. “No! You’ve drank too much!! You’re drunk!”

“Whatever Kate Bishooop!”

Kate sat down at the bar next to Natasha, rubbing her head as Yelena mingled around the bar, the other patrons giggling at the blonde assassin stumbling around.

“Kate! There you are. You have to stop hiding from me Katie Kat!” Yelena said, trying to be seductive as she trailed her finger crookedly across the archer’s face.

“Lena I’ve been sitting her next to Natasha the whole time!” Kate said, looking at her obviously drunk girlfriend.

“Natasha is here?! Oh my Natalia I’ve missed youuuu,” Yelena cried, her face softening at the sight of her older sister.

“Yelena, I took you here!” The older assassin whined.

“Lena baby, let’s get you home where we can go to bed,” Kate said, rubbing Yelena’s back.

“No!! I promised that nice gentleman that I’d adopt his ducks and we could train them to do ballet!” Yelena said frowning. Kate thought about it for a second and then shook her head quickly, knowing sober Yelena would probably take her out if she agreed.

“Baby, the man told me he already gave the ducks to someone else. We have to go home now, okay?” Kate said, rubbing Yelena’s shoulder.

“Where is he? I will fight him for my ducks!!!” Yelena said angrily.

“We have to get her out of here before she does something we have to clean up!” Natasha said. Kate nodded and walked her girlfriend towards the door.

“C’mon Lena we have to go,” Kate pushed gently.

“No! I need to find that man!”

“Okay he’s out this door, I promise!” Kate said, getting an idea.

“I’m gonna show him what I’ve got!!” Yelena said, swinging her fists haphazardly.

Kate quickly opened Natasha’s car door and she sped off to their apartment to drop off the two lovebirds. “Is she always this wild?” Kate asked Natasha quietly as the small blonde assassin had finally gone quiet and fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“Honestly it’s one of the few times I’ve ever seen her drunk, so I’m not sure,” Nat said, smiling. “But I’m glad she has you to look after her.”

Kate beamed, brushing some wispy hairs off of Yelena’s face as she snores lightly on her shoulder. She knew she was lucky to have the blonde’s trust, but she was even luckier to have her love as well.