Dr. Dan Smith, A Veterinarian In New York, Told BuzzFeed News He’s Not Sure If Buff Cat Suffers From

Other witches: Contact your deities only on the full moon!!! Make sure to ask them meaningful questions!!! Talk to them respectfully!!!

Me summoning my deities in the middle of Walmart: what up my bois I got nervous standing in the middle of the store alone so I decided to summon the gang

The pictures just kept getting better and better

it’s been 3 days and i can’t stop thinking abt these

brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah

1. This has been going on for a long time (the thread)

2. It's okay to not be okay, and I will forever accept you

3. I have to sneeze

Tell me three things

If I don't enjoy talking to you, I won't talk to you

My friend Zy

Nothing is Real (Ch. 1)

Once upon a time, there was a dude. TJ Lane. Yeah you know him. Pops up in the TCC tags. Looks like Sid from Toy Story without a justifcation of being edgy. Sub-bottom. Pretty much all you ever need to know about him.

Anyway.

TJ was chilling on a park bench in Ohio. It was the middle of the day, not too hot, not too many clouds lingering in the sky. One arm behind the bench, one leg crossing the other– his vantablack eyes scanning his surroundings in anticipation. He listened intently for any disturbance.

His upside down Nike™ eyebrows twitched. He heard a rustle in the bushes behind him. TJ whipped his head back as if he wanted to be Willow Smith, but the rustling had stopped abruptly. Turning his attention back to a random tree, he sighed.

“Alyssa, I know you’re in there.”

Alyssa Bustamante walked out of the bushes and sat down next to TJ. “Aight.”

TJ couldn’t believe she was actually in the bushes that time.

After fifteen seconds of nothing, enough was enough.

Alyssa turned towards TJ and leaned forward. Her makeup was so on point that Jeff the Killer was shaking. Her eyes were the color of TJ’s shirt when he ripped it off in court to show his Killer shirt. They held the same lack of warmth that that shirt had held because TJ ripped it off and so he wasn’t as warm after he ripped the shirt off.

“Let’s cut the crap and get it over with,” she said with a mischievous smile.

TJ’s lip also started to curl into a smile. It kept curling. It curled until his lips were shaped like a heart so that you know this is supposed to be romantic.

He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. He brought his hands up slowly, one on each side of his head.

Alyssa did the same, her fingers spread.

They were like a foot apart. Maybe even two.

Her breathing came faster. TJ was sweating. Alyssa started sweating. TJ was hyperventilating. I’m shaking as I type this.

TJ’s eyes were half-lidded. He was getting tired of holding his hands out like this. Alyssa was trembling, her arms on fire as she held them up. She was emitting metaphorical greenhouse gases as her arms were metaphorically burning.

They were leaning back, away from each other. They were so far back, they almost fell out of the bench, but they didn’t.

Then, in a loud slap, they forcefully put their hands together in the raddest high five ever.

It was so loud that Elliot Rodger thought it was an ass clapping in the distance and he got mad.

It had echoed throughout the entire park. A baby had screamed. That was Elliot.

TJ and Alyssa were screaming. Not out of pleasure, but mostly pain because the high five was too hard. There was a small bit of shock because of the amount of human contact was overwhelming for TJ.

When they pulled back, they were red in the face because of the amount of physical exertion both of them had exerted.

After exchanging “adios”’s multiple times, TJ left Alyssa sitting on the bench, each flapping their hand in the air a goodbye.

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone