Longboat-boatlongson - Intrepid Dumbass

ɪᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ, ʀɪɢʜᴛ?

Range of the coconut crab

Gonna name myself after a seasoning to get revenge on my family

Bunjy, do you have any fun/cursed facts about sturgeon? They are my favourite fish

sturgeon are probably responsible for most of history’s “lake monster” sightings around the world! these giant fish do sometimes cruise around just under the surface, and from a distance their primordially scaly spines can look like some kind of fantastical serpent, or something. 

“STAY OUT OF THE WATER”

these freshwater fish are generally huge, sure, but some individuals have been recorded as north of 20 feet long, which is frankly ridiculous.

add that to the fact that a single sturgeon can live for more than a century and you’ve got a lake-monster hypothesis!

(or sometimes “jesus christ how did a shark get into the Great Lakes?”)

When your DM does the dialogue for the monsters but can’t do the voices.