💓

Rak broken my heart

2020

Today I have this strong khunbam feels after reading a great fic.

BAM’S ALREADY SICK OF HIM

Also obligatory, fuck V

you get soft times

Bam: *limply hugging a pillow on his bed*

Khun: *lays next to Bam, hugging him* One of those days?

Bam, cuddling into Khun’s shoulder: Mhm.

Khun: It’s okay, I’m here for you.

Bam, mumbling with a smile as he closes his eyes: Thank you.

Khun: Of course.

thank u s2 khun

[TW: infanticide, suicide, mental instability]

I think one of the things that screw me up about Arlene Grace is what Rachel said to Baam about how he's not meant to be a hero, but a monster who will 'devour' everything. I know Rachel lies (as does almost every character in Tower of God, hahaha), however I don't think she's lying about Baam in this case.

Garam specifically told Baam that yes, Arlene was the one who 'brought him to this world', which I personally think refers to the Tower. She also explicitly tells him to never think of her as his mother, which if he is indeed the revived son of Arlene and V, is a very strange thing to say regardless of whatever is inhabiting it because the body that this Outside god (whether it is an artificial soul, or the Outside god themselves) is using is the body of Arlene and V's son.

I'm not defending the murder of a baby here, but I doubt that Zahard's main motivation for killing baby Baam is purely jealousy and rage over Arlene having a child with V. Because the thing is, Zahard let them live after the war. He let them get away, which is a pretty weird thing to do from a political standpoint.

When he finally did pursue them, it was to kill Baam. We don't know how he killed Baam, by that we don't know if there was an altercation between these three people (Arlene and V versus Zahard). But we do know whatever that this confrontation ended up with baby Baam dead and it seems like as soon as he killed Baam, Zahard basically yeeted and left Arlene and V alone. I think Baam's murder was a preventive measure, a 'if I let this kid grow strong and reach his full potential, he might just kill me' sort of situation.

Zahard seems to be a very reactive instead of active sort of ruler, he only really moves until he sees something threatening. He tries to kill Baam when he meets him again on the Hidden Floor, but even that is a pretty half-hearted attempt and he let Baam get away. He also says that he doesn't really understand what Baam is, and it seems like he wants to know what the heck Baam is before he kills him. I think that's obvious from the way he gives Traumerei free reign on what to do with Baam and how he let the other Great Warriors discuss what to do with Baam, and didn't immediately agree with Gustang's suggestion of another round of child murder.

I think everything in Arlene's diary needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, because it's definitely a biased point of view. Arlene strikes me as a pretty stubborn person, I mean she wanted to continue climbing and was willing to go to war with her former friends because they wanted to settle down instead (I do realise that it was probably a lot more complicated than that, but I'm working with the information we currently have). She also founded an organisation dedicated to killing them that still continues to this day. Alongside that, people from FUG consider places sacred because Arlene stayed there which is quite reminiscent to the way the 10 Great Families react to their Family Heads.

The circumstances surrounding V's death were also rather odd. Arlene was said to be mentally unstable by this point, she also tried to commit suicide several times but couldn't because of the immortality contract. Yet V is able to kill himself because 'he didn't make the immortality contract', we don't know enough about this contract to be able to define the limitations but we do know that Irregulars are able to bypass contracts. Coincidentally, Zahard and co are all Irregulars, so them being able to kill each other is a possibility.

Baam has a lot of 'messiah' symbolism attached to his character. Born on the 25th night, which I, like a lot of people think, is an allusion to Christmas. His weapons being the Thorn, like the crown of thorns. Baam being killed and then resurrected. Garam has omitted a crucial part of Arlene's tale, a part which she thinks will make Baam hate her for not telling him in the first place. Rachel is bitter and jealous, that's for sure, but I am inclined to believe her when she says to Baam that he is not meant to be the hero most people think he is. Arlene's intention to kill Zahard is made perfectly clear and Baam acknowledges that. I think Arlene's true end-goal is the very thing that Garam omitted, and it is most likely something heinous. And Baam will most likely be the one to commit the act.

Bam is too pretty I love him so much 😭😭

@/the three other aroace people in the tog fandom who are queerplatonic khunbam enjoyers: we are holding hands besties i’m making friendship bracelets rn

bam’s selfishness is one of my favorite character contradictions and is also in general a really good take on the “selfless chosen one” and “hero who wants to save everyone”. people are not going to like me calling bam selfish, but he is. at different times in the series he’s selfish enough to want to save everyone, selfish enough to put himself first, selfish enough to pretend he wants to save everyone, and selfish enough to put first the people he cares about even at the detriment of strangers. the moral inconsistencies caused by the disconnect between his innate compassion and the inherent selfishness that comes with being a human is one of the most fascinating and most nuanced things about him, giving him a depth that’s not really seen in action protags with their moral superiority.