“What If - What If I Tell Him I Love Him, But It’s Too Soon And Scares Him Off?”

“What if - what if I tell him I love him, but it’s too soon and scares him off?”

Buck was getting more emotional as the conversation went on. He had come to dispatch hoping for advice from Maddie, and he doesn’t really know what he wants or needs to hear.

“Buck, I think -”

“Buck?” Josh peeked into the break room, a confused smile on his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I uh - I was asking Maddie about - well -”

“He’s in love,” Maddie said for him. Traitor.

Josh’s face lit up. “Ooh, is this the hot pilot? I can see why.”

“But I - it’s,” Buck stuttered, “it’s too soon, though, right?”

Eyebrows creasing, Josh asked, “How long have you been together?”

“Only seven months.”

“Only seven months?” Josh’s eyebrows shot up. Maddie elbowed him in the side. “Right, sorry, um. Well, do you feel it?”

“Feel - what?” Buck asked, looking frantically from Josh to Maddie and back.

“Like you’re in love, Evan,” Maddie said.

“Oh! Well, yeah. I - I’ve been in love before. It’s never really felt like this, but I know it’s love.” When Maddie and Josh shared a look, Buck asked, “What? What was that?”

A gentle smile spread across Josh’s face. “You should tell him.”

“But what if it’s too early? What if I scare him? I always move too fast and jump into things before thinking them through. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Evan,” Maddie said, coming around the counter to lay a comforting hand on his arm, “that you’re even worried it’s too soon is a good sign that you’ve thought this through.”

Josh nodded in agreement. “And you’re serious about him. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

Releasing a shaky breath, Buck asked quietly, “What if he doesn’t say it back? He doesn’t have to, of course, but - but what do I do if he doesn’t?”

“You reassure him that he doesn’t need to say anything. You just want him to know how you feel,” Josh said, sharing another look with Maddie. “But I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

“What? Why?”

Maddie softly squeezed his arm. “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

Buck couldn’t help but think of the way Tommy had looked at him just that morning, lying next to him, the soft morning light catching the blue of his eyes just right. He huffed a quiet laugh.

“Maybe you’re right.” He swallowed roughly, made his decision, and said, “There’s only one way to find out.”

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loulover911

2 months ago

Louuuuu , you wanna post a selfie so fucking bad , yes you do 🙏🙏

luring him onto instagram like he’s a cat psstt

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loulover911

7 months ago

Roll call, guys!! (gn)

Reblog if you’re a tommy-loving ho 💅

context here

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loulover911

5 months ago

Buck likes the weather in LA.

Endless summers, mild winter months; what’s not to love? Sometimes he misses snow, or the way the air feels on a truly crisp autumn morning, but all in all he prefers warmth and sunshine.

But summer is only fun until a heat wave makes the city feel like everybody’s trapped under a glass dome and slowly going insane.

Buck needs to get some sleep before his next shift, but the blackout curtains in Tommy’s bedroom don’t do much against the suffocating heat. The whole house feels like an oven at this point, and the best he managed so far was a short fifteen minute nap.

With a sigh he flops over and snuggles closer to Tommy, who immediately pushes him away.

“Too hot,” Tommy grumbles next to him in the dark.

“You’re too hot,” Buck counters. “I'm a cuddler; you didn’t have a problem with it until now.”

“It wasn’t 99 degrees until now. Just stay on your side of the bed, please.”

Buck tries to find a comfortable sleeping position and closes his eyes. It is too hot, and yet he almost itches to feel Tommy’s skin under his hands.

When Buck wakes up again it’s barely ten minutes later, at least according to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Maybe it’s broken? He watches the bright green numbers change and silently counts along until the clock hits a new minute. Alright, so the clock isn’t the problem.

Buck shifts onto his back, his skin prickling with sweat in the humid air. He’d love to get up and stand in front of the open freezer for a while, but he wouldn’t do that to Tommy’s energy bill.

“We could go to the loft to sleep,” he suggests instead.

There's no immediate reply, and for a moment he wonders if Tommy actually managed to fall asleep.

But finally Tommy says: “You have high ceilings, huge windows and a tiny AC unit. I don’t think we need to drive all the way to the loft to check if it’s less hot over there.”

Buck pouts a little bit, even if Tommy can’t see it. “I rent my place. What's your excuse for not having better air conditioning?”

“It worked fine last summer. And I don't usually have a 220 pound guy trying to sleep on top of me during a heat wave.”

Tommy’s voice is light and teasing, but Buck can hear the truth underneath the words nonetheless. Neither of them is very comfortable in their own skin right now, and if Buck was a simple hook-up or a short-term boyfriend, Tommy wouldn’t want him in his bed right now Not after a long shift, and certainly not in this heat.

But here they are. The knowledge warms Buck in a very different way than the summer heat.

“Sex usually helps me fall asleep,” Buck points out after he catches himself staring at the alarm clock again. He’s pretty sure the glowing numbers are mocking him.

Tommy chuckles. “Subtle. Very subtle.”

“It’s science. Do you need me to find you an article about brain chemistry and happy hormones?”

“No, thank you,” Tommy replies drily. “You know what else is science? We’ll sweat even more. The sheets will be disgusting, and we’ll have to get up and remake the bed, and by the time we’re done, all the ‘happy hormones’ will be gone.”

Buck sighs and snuffles closer to the middle of the bed so he can press his face against Tommy’s shoulder at least. “No snuggling, no sex, no science, no sweat… Do you hate everything that starts with the letter S now?”

“You’re ridiculous.” Somehow Tommy makes the words sound warm and fond.

Neither of them is any closer to falling asleep.

“Did you know the phrase ‘sweating like a pig’ is nonsense?” Buck asks. “Pigs don't sweat at all.”

“Lucky pigs,” Tommy replies and lets out a long yawn.

“They cool down by taking mud baths.”

Tommy nudges Buck’s calf with his foot. “If you rip out my basil to roll around in wet dirt you're sleeping on the porch.”

“At least I’d be sleeping. Totally worth it.”

For a moment both of them stay quiet, just resting next to each other until Tommy breaks the silence: “I guess we could just turn the basil into pesto.”

“I can't sleep when you're all the way over there,” Buck admits very quietly, just in case Tommy is finally asleep.

But Tommy laughs, low and soft. “How do you sleep when I'm not around?”

“Badly.”

It’s not even a joke; Buck really likes sharing a bed with Tommy. Even now, despite being hot and uncomfortable, he wants to be closer, put his head on Tommy’s chest and let the sound of his heartbeat lull him to sleep.

“I sleep better with you too,” Tommy tells him. After a brief pause he adds: “When we’re actually sleeping.”

“We should do more of that,” Buck decides.

“What? Sleeping?”

Buck hums in confirmation. “Sleeping together.”

“Yeah, I’d like —” Tommy pauses mid-sentence when Buck plasters himself against his side. “Evan, we’ll stick together.”

“Sleep,” Buck mumbles.

Tommy sighs, but he pulls Buck firmly against him. “What am I going to do with you?”

The next time Buck wakes up when his alarm buzzes. Tommy is fast asleep, curled around his back.

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loulover911

7 months ago