First Ask Hope I Slayed 🙂‍↔️

Realistically I could never get rid of tumblr because it gives me the illusion of a community of strange young women all around my same age, all slowly figuring out how to live too

bestie!kook reader

content warnings: toxic codependency, mutual obsession, discussions of antiblackness in predominantly white spaces, mentions of drugs/drug abuse, symptoms of bpd, discussion of colorism, sexual tension, misogyny, blood, violence, implied underage drinking, maternal issues, fear of abandonment, parental issues, classism, hinted/implied sexual content

bestie!kook is not spoiled, not bitchy, but a secret third thing (knows what the fuck she wants and doesn’t let anyone call her bitchy greedy or selfish). she’s an only child, of course she turned out this way.

bestie!kook lives in a mansion-like beach house and met kelce at the house party her parents threw to get to know their neighbors (flex on them). she and kelce both had the same idea of hiding out on the roof. they watched the stars, talked about school starting soon, and the struggles of being black in figure eight.

she hates her parents for moving her here.

okay hate might be a strong word but she’s not thrilled. she adjusts her halter green short chiffon dress as she sits down on the roof. she may be mad at her parents but she would never hear the end of it if she flashed the party guests. she removes her sparkly green heels and looks up at the stars. she knows there’s no real answer in the stars but looking at them has always helped her. she closes her eyes, ready to wish upon a star when she hears him.

“you mind if i chill with you?”

a dark skinned black boy she saw earlier at the party. kelce. he’s wearing a rose gold three piece suit with brown shoes. great taste in fashion? his parents definitely made him wear it.

“did my parents send you?”

“no.”

“did your parents send you?”

“no.” he chuckles

“huh.” interesting. “fine.”

he looks amused. she hates him already. “don’t jump for joy too much, i don’t know how sturdy your roof is.”

he chuckles, “that’s dark.”

“maybe.” he takes off his blazer and carefully places it on the space next to her. he sits down, arms holding his knees, looking up at the stars.

she breaks the silence when it becomes unbearable. “why are you here?”

he glanced at her and shards before turning his attention back to the stars. “party’s lame, not really my scene.”

“what’s your scene?”

he smiles, “you’ll find out soon.”

“you’re just assuming we’ll roll with the same crowd?”

he scoffs as if telling her not to play dumb. “please.”

she nods, understanding what he’s hinting at. “that bleak huh?”

he shrugs, “i’m not gonna lie and tell you i was the only black kid in school but… it’s no new york.”

“so ten times worse.”

he chuckles dryly, “exactly. before i came up here i was called “surprisingly well spoken”.”

she’s not surprised but it’s not what she wants to hear . especially not after getting her life uprooted by her parents the summer before her thirteenth birthday and moved them to the middle of nowhere.

“can’t say i’m surprised. i mean, not even an hour into the party some lady tried to touch my hair and some boy said “my skin looked good in green” fucking bitch.”

“oh we’re trading horror stories? in third grade my math teacher kept getting me confused with the other black boy in class.”

“let me guess he was light skinned.”

“light skinned. light as the fucking sun.”

they both laugh, not at the situation itself but the predictable action. when the laughter dies down he clears his throat.

“you know i have these two friends i think you’d like them.”

“only two? shocker.”

he sighs, “you ever hear the phrase ‘you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’?”

she raises an eyebrow, “is that what you tell yourself to get you through these parties? go along to get along?”

“basically.”

“there’s no way you actually believe that.”

“and what if i do? is that so awful?”

she looks at him, really looks at him for the first time that night. “i guess not.”

they sit in silence again.

“why?”

he looks at her. “why what?”

“why reach out to me? you could’ve just left me up here alone, let me be an outcast. why didn’t you?”

he stands up and picks up his blazer. he looks down at her and smiles. “i know you wanna look like this lone wolf cool girl but… i see you..”

his words send chills down her spine. she writes that off as the cool night air.

“fuck off.”

he chuckles. “see you monday.”

he later invited her to a party the saturday before school and the rest is history.

bestie!kook is kook princess before sarah. the most popular girl in school and in outer banks, an amazing feat for someone who wasn’t born and raised in obx. she was known for her jaw dropping beauty, affluent family, and strange friendship with the kook boys. rafe, kelce, topper, and her were very popular and not just cause they were the richest. the parties they threw are still talked about to this day

bestie!kook who everyone assumes is sweet because of her bright colored outfits when in actuality she’s blunt, cold, stand-off ish, and at times, a genuine menace. she once planted coke on a girl and got her expelled for distribution all cause she didn’t like the way she looked at rafe at a party

four years after moving to obx and she can’t imagine being anywhere else.

“i guess i’m just trying to understand why and how she could do something like this. she was top of the class!” tiffany pushes a honey blonde french curl braid off her shoulder and behind her back. she brushes down her uniform's skirt and fiddles with her loose tie.

tiffany was bestie!kook’s first black girl friend in outer banks. she moved there a year after her which tiffany thinks was fate. they met in pre-algebra, tiffany helped bestie!kook solve a problem that was kicking her ass. they got to talking and have been best friends ever since. she was genuinely kind and despite popular belief, really fucking smart. academically not socially.

“please, this is totally on brand for girls like her, they think they’re too smart to get caught. did you hear her talking about ‘academic immunity’ when they arrested her? that’s not a thing!”

gianna, was the only obx native in the trio. though she transferred from kildare county high school to kildare private academy in the middle of the semester last year. she was tiffany's complete opposite in every way, she wore the complete uniform with no alterations, was more of a loner than a social butterfly, and rocked bold makeup rather than tiffany's go-to subdued look.

she and bestie!kook got along immediately despite being so similar and horribly blunt. bestie!kook loved her no bullshit attitude and disregard for standard kook faux niceties. she also loved that they were close in skin tone. she adored tiffany but there were some things the light skinned girl just couldn’t understand.

bestie!kook stifles a laugh at her friend’s remark and thanks the heavens that her face is buried in the locker so they can’t see her grin. they’re talking about the scandalous affair that they witnessed less than an hour ago but she’s too hungover to care.

she opens her locker and lifts her sunglasses to cheek herself in her locker’s newly bedazzled mirror.

“but still, ashley? ashley who calls weed marijuana expelled for selling coke!? personal feelings aside you can’t tell me that’s not totally sketch.” tiffany’s cheeks are flushed from her raising her voice and screaming about her conspiracy theory. she fans her face, trying to calm herself down. her usual light skin has some more melanin to it after spending her summer outside tanning.

“yes i can. it’s not insane, she acted like she was better than everyone, people like that always have some shit to hide.” gianna frowns at tiffany’s sympathy for the girl.

“but she was always nice to me.” tiffany frowns at the newfound information.

“gee i wonder why.” the dark skinned girl unwraps a piece of bubblegum and pops it in her mouth. “that bitch had it coming. you remember when she wrote that “anonymous” column about how certain students need to ‘speak properly and appropriately at school’. should’ve beat her ass then, pick-me ass bitch.”

“we don’t know that that was her.”

“she’s already been through so much.”

“please did you see the way she looked at rafe? she totally wanted him.”

tiffany frowns, not at the slight directed at her but the new information. “really? i never noticed.”

bestie!kook loved her but she was never great at paying attention to details and believed people always honest about their intentions. she also had certain blind spots like anti-blackness that wasn’t blatantly obvious.

“of course you didn’t.”

“hey!” tiffany's face is red with anger and embarrassment.

bestie!kook slams her locker shut, drawing both girls attention to her. she sighs and punches the bridge of her nose. “it’s too early for this shit.”

the girls apologize at the same time. bestie!kook frowns, “i don’t want you girls fighting over someone so… insignificant.”

they both look like they want to argue their points to her further but are (thankfully) interrupted by none other than rafe cameron.

rafe throws his arm around bestie!kook reader and gives the other girls a semi-friendly smile. “hey ladies.”

“hey rafe!”

“cameron.”

bestie!kook pouts, “what, no greeting for me?”

rafe turns his attention to her. he still towers over her despite her heeled shoes.

he shrugs, “well you ditched me this morning and we saw each other in home room." his tone is nonchalant but she knows him, his real feelings always show in his eyes. his stare is cold, if looks could kill she'd burn under his gaze.

she scoffs, “okay 'ditched' is crazy, i drove myself to school one time and home room was hours ago i want a new greeting.”

“hmm.”

his cold response irks her. she glances at her girls and they get the message.

gianna clears her throat. “we should probably get going tiff.”

tiffany frowns, “what but this is our free period?”

“which is why we made plans remember?”

“we did?”

she grabs tiffany's hand and drags her away. “yes.”

“ooh can we go to chick-fil-a!?”

“sure babe.”

rafe turns his attention back to bestie!kook, "what were you guys talking about?"

she closes her locker and takes off her sunglasses. “nothing.”

he removes his arm from around her shoulder and blocks her view of the hallway. “it was ashley wasn't it.”

of course he knew. "if you knew why the fuck would you ask?"

"well fuck me for giving you the benefit of the doubt."

"benefit of the doubt for what!?"

"to tell me the truth!" they've gained the attention of some students and admin by now. she blushes and grabs his hand, "come on." she drags him away and doesn't stop til they reach the janitor's closet.

"i know this is about last night. you know you can tell me anything right?" his strikingly blue eyes shine with worry.

she nods. “okay.”

she tells him everything. that morning she threw on her sunglasses after donning her uniform with a plan in mind. she hadn’t even carpooled with rafe like they usually do just so she could get there early and set her plan in motion. she had ashley write her a fake doctor’s note for her sunglasses and hugged her to show her appreciation. the girl was caught off guard and that’s when she planted the coke on her.

rafe is stunned into silence. he looks down at her, “you did that for me?” his voice is uncharacteristically soft.

she looks up at him through her eyelashes. “i’d do anything for you.”

bestie!kook might be a nepo baby but she works for her money. she has her own business doing hair and opened up outer banks's first beauty supply store at 19. her grandma thought her when she was young cause she hated having to wait on her to book (mostly home) appointments, with her busy schedule.

bestie!kook and kelce are like siblings in the way they argue. a lot of the figure eight residents also think they’re related but that’s something else entirely. he was her first friend in obx after all and is one if the few black kids in figure eight.

bestie!kook cleans up her diy hair station in her living room as kelce follows her around.

“if you’re gonna be here you might as well help.” she shoves a large container of hair into his hands. he looks down at it and back up at her, she’s already moved onto another location.

he catches up to her easily. she curses his long legs internally. “what about the friend discount?”

“doesn’t apply to you after you broke my fucking vanity.”

he pouts. “how long are you gonna hold that against me?”

“forever. don’t ask me stupid questions.”

“okay if not for me then do it for my sister.”

“that’s not fair.”

“she really wants to look good for her eight grade formal and i know it’s last minute so i’ll pay extra.”

he gives her his best puppy dog eyes. she looks disgusted.

she rolls her eyes and sighs, “fine. but only ‘cause i love your sister.”

“yes!” he gives her his best boyish smiles, “and i know you love me too.”

“please. you’re lucky i don’t gut you with this comb.”

“jesus.”

bestie!kook who puts up a wall to stop people from getting too close because she believes when you let people in that’s when you get hurt. rafe changes that for her

bestie!kook and rafe being so close is a surprise to everyone in town until they get to know her. they’re the same but different. he trusts her more than anyone else, it’s why he tells her everything from his mom leaving when he was young to killing peterkins

bestie!kook whose fashion can be described in five words; bright colors and mini skirts

bestie!kook who is always the best dressed at midsummer and always goes with rafe

year 1

year 2

year 3

year 4

year 5

year 6

year 7

bestie!kook goes to the main land a lot cause the local shops just don’t have what she wants and brings rafe along nine times out of ten

rafe and bestie!kook planned their shopping day to the mainland weeks in advance. it was the perfect date. emphasis on 'was'. topper joined last minute because he was in a bad mood after sarah made him look stupid. again.

bestie!kook runs around the shop like a kid in a candy store picking up dresses, tops, shorts, and skirts and putting them in her cart.

"rafe!" she runs over to rafe and shows him her newest find. "isn't this the cutest?"

rafe smirks, "you gonna model it for me."

she bites her lower lip, "maybe if you’re good"

he chuckles as she skips away. he looks to his left and spots his friend frowning. "what?"

topper jumps slightly like a kid who's been caught taking extra halloween candy. "nothing."

his passivity has always irritated rafe, "just spit it out. i don't want you sulking for the rest of the day."

topper takes a deep breath, preparing himself to speak and for rafe's reaction. “i’m just saying man no disrespect to you or her but i wouldn’t let my girl leave the house wearing shit like that.”

“damn this is hard. listen to the man who got cheated on and punked in front of a crowd and called me crying about it and begging for my help at 3 a.m. or keep doing what i'm doing." rafe pretends to be deep in thought, tapping his chin and furrowing his brows. “i think i’m good.”

topper frowns, "you said you wouldn't bring that up again."

bestie!kook and rafe’s relationship is the topic of many discussions, people don’t know if they’re just friends, dating, or friends with benefits. the main questioners are the camerons and topper the topic usually comes up at breakfast which ward mandates a family event.

bestie!kook whose boyfriend best friend rafe has scary dog privileges. he’ll fight anyone, girls included he doesn’t give a fuck.

bestie!kook loves getting high with rafe cause they balance each other out. she gets all deep in thought and philosophical and he gets pathetic and horny.

bestie!kook, smoking leisurely: you know… while i was away, when i felt down… i would climb up to my roof and look to the stars. it was comforting knowing you were under the same stars. 400 miles away with the same constellations, isn't that crazy?

rafe, on his third line, pupils so dilated he looks like an excited kitten: can yuo put that out on me?

bestie!kook loves partying with rafe, whether it’s a party thrown by one of them, their friends, or a boneyard party they’re there one never far from the other

rafe doesn’t dance. it’s not that he can’t he’s just not into it. at parties he’s either selling, drinking, or doing coke. unless he’s with bestie!kook. she's sitting on his lap while he counts money. he's doing a line off her tits and he's placing an ecstasy pill on her tongue. she’s dragging him to the dance floor. slow dancing leads to grinding which leads to one of them dragging the other to a private area and coming back 30 minutes later with ruffled clothes and hair.

bestie!kook who uses rafe’s need for approval and complex maternal issues to combat being on the receiving end of his misogyny make sure she comes out unscathed compared to the other women in his life

rafe comes to her after melting the cross. it's almost midnight when she answers the aggressive knocking and sees a bloody rafe.

“oh my god.” he pushes past her into the house muttering something to himself. she closes the door and follows after him, “rafe.” he continues pacing and muttering like he doesn’t hear her. “rafe!”

“it’s all my fault. everyone’s gonna know. they’re gonna- just gotta- gotta fix it i can’t fix it.”

“rafe!” he snaps out of his daze and finally meets her eyes. there’s blood around his mouth and bruises on his hand.

“what happened?”

“um..” he sniffs and wipes at his nose. “i tried to fix it.” his voice cracks, barely hiding the sadness in his voice. “i tried i did but i- i just made it worse.”

she holds her arms out. he melts into her arms and shrinks himself down to fit in her hold. “i’m sorry.”

she caresses his head. “hey it’s okay. it’s okay.”

bestie!kook is 99% positive rafe does not like women. he’s definitely attracted to them but she doesn’t think he views them as people. over the years she’s noticed that rafe puts women into two categories; caretakers and objects of desire

bestie!kook doesn’t strictly fall into either category so it breaks his brain a little bit trying to figure out how he should treat her which leads to many of their fights

they're at a party a when he pulls her off the dance floor and away from her dancing partner and takes her to an empty room.

"what the fuck rafe!?" she screams as she watches his lock the door.

he stalks towards her, “so what you’re just throwing yourself at any guy who’s nice to you?”

“fuck you rafe! you’re just mad he had the guts to admit what you’ve been thinking all these years.”

he scoffs, “is that what you think? huh?” he chuckles and moves closer, every time he takes a step forward she takes a step back. “yeah i bet you’d like that wouldn’t you? you know i thought you were a nice girl but you’re just like every other slut in this party.”

“i’m not talking to you. not when you’re being like this.”

“like what?”

“an asshole! i don’t like talking to you when you’re being an asshole, rafe. okay?”

he chuckles coldly, “what you think you’re better than me?”

his movements are twitchy, scratching his ear one second and rubbing his head the next and his pupils are dilated.

she frowns, he's really high right now. "look i don't have time for this back and forth bullshit okay?"

he frowns, "it's not bullshit okay and and i just i don’t get you. you lose your shit when i talk to a girl but here you are doing worse. do you know how it makes me look? my best friend dry humping some guy on the dance floor?”

“of course it’s about you. it’s always back to being about you. you’re so fucking selfish!”

“hey!” he grabs her face, squeezes her cheeks with his hand. “you think you’re better than me is that it?”

she scratches at his hand and pushes at his chest but when he’s high he’s like a whole different being. “let go.”

“i’m just trying to figure out what your end goal is.”

“stop it rafe!” she pushes him away, tears in her eyes and fire the first time she looks genuinely afraid of him. that sobers him up real quick.

“i’m sorry.” he reaches out to her but she slaps his hand away.

“fuck you rafe.” she storms past him, leaving him stewing in self hatred and regret.

bestie!kook who lets him in when he apologizes the next day like clockwork saying the usual right things

“i’m sorry. i was high and-”

“you said some really hurtful things rafe.”

“i know.”

she can’t stay mad at him, not when he gets on his knees and begs for her forgiveness. begs her not to leave him.

bestie!kook who is an icon to many of obx’s young women. she doesn’t take shit from anyone. especially not men.

“hey jj, she said she doesn’t want the drink fuck off.”

“well if it isn’t the future mrs cameron. shouldn’t you be busy buying his coke or something?”

“so funny! hey stop me if you’ve heard this one, white trash pogue joins father in jail after forcing sketchy beverage on sarah cameron, daughter of prominent figure of the community?”

“fuck you.”

“byyeeee.” she smiles and wiggles her fingers while waving. she turns back to sarah, “sorry about that.”

sarah looks at her in awe, “thanks, sorry you had to do that.”

“please, we girls gotta look out for each other. plus you could put in a good word for me with your brother.”

“my god.”

bestie!kook whose relationship with the camerons is all over the place. rafe is her favorite but sarah is her biggest supporter (after rafe of course). she often lends an ear to her when she fights with rafe though she’s not the most helpful and her bias shows.

it’s 1 a.m. on a saturday when bestie!kook sees topper’s instagram story and spotted rafe in the background with his tongue down some girl’s throat. she sits on her bed crying while gianna and sarah comfort her.

“i told you he wasn’t shit.”

sarah nods, “gianna’s right, you deserve better”

gianna sobs harder, “why didn’t i call tiffany?”

“because you wanted the truth not to be coddled.”

bestie!kook continues crying as sarah rubs her shoulder.

“hey he’s a dick.”

“he’s your brother sarah.”

“which is why i know it better than anyone.”

bestie!kook who treats wheezie like the little sister she’s always wanted. rafe says she spoils her but she doesn’t care she finds the girl absolutely adorable.

she takes wheezie out for a girls day filled with ice cream, shopping, and fireworks watching. all good things can’t last long though which is why rafe calls her while she’s out with wheezie. she answers the phone cheerfully, “hi rafe.”

“i miss you.” she can almost hear his pout over the phone.

“i miss you too. but i promised wheezie i’d take her out for ice cream.”

“you spoil her. it’s why she acts like that..”

she rolls her eyes. “look i gotta go, my favorite cameron’s calling me.”

“haha. wait do you really mean that? hello!?”

“bye rafe.”

bestie!kook and ward’s relationship is a bit strained, he likes her but he worries about her impact on his son’s fragile state and her hold over him. he’s like a wise father figure with a sketchy past and present.

bestie!kook who is actually sweet to rafe. everyone notices the way she is seeing others vs the way she acts around him. goes from ambivalent god to schoolgirl in love

he comes to her often crying about ward’s mistreatment and distrust. when ward kicks him out he goes to her.

“you shouldn’t be just tell me to fuck off. i’m more trouble then it’s worth.”

she frowns, “don’t say that that’s not true.”

he sniffles and shakes his head. she doesn’t know how to help him, she hates seeing him in pain like this. she slowly and gently reaches out to him and grabs his hand. she feels him tense and gives his hand a soft squeeze,. “you’ll always have me. i’m on your side.”

that’s exactly what he needed to hear.

bestie!kook and rose don’t get along much. rose is very passive aggressive and bestie!kook is very blunt. unstoppable force immovable object.

bestie!kook notices rafe’s coke use is becoming more frequent ever since he came back from the bahamas. she wants to help rafe get better but there’s only so much she can do. people (ward and rose) often forget she’s just a kid, she loves rafe but love isn’t enough to save him.

“mrs. cameron-”

“please no need for formalities you’re practically family. call me rose.”

“okay rose. i’m not gonna beat around the bush cause i respect you. i think rafe should go to rehab.”

“what?”

“it’s on the mainland and i know it seems sudden and all but i’ve noticed him getting worse and i’m scared that- that if we don’t act now. before we know it- it’ll be too late and i- i don’t wanna lose him.”

her voice catches in her throat as she thinks of rafe’s declining mental state and growing drug use. rose hugs her and softly rubs her back.

“hey hey it’s okay it’s okay. you really love him.”

she sniffles and nods. rose nods, “then don’t mention this to him. forget about it.”

“excuse me?”

“he’s going through a lot right now.”

“yeah no shit that’s why he needs this.”

“why now? hm? why the sudden change in heart?” when she doesn’t get an answer she scoffs, “you spend all this time going to parties, coming here at good knows when high out of your minds and now you care? why? cause it’s affecting you now?”

“that’s not true. i care about him.”

“then don’t do this to him. not now not while he’s in such a fragile state.”

she scoffs, “please. like you care. we all know this isn’t him its about preserving great cameron name and its bullshit legacy.”

“keep your fucking voice down.” she glares at the girl. “you have some nerve coming to our house with this holier than thou bullshit. especially in our time of grief.”

she marches over to to the door and opens it, “i think it’s time for you to go.”

bestie!kook scoffs but walks to the door, not wanting to give the woman any more of her time. she glared at the woman, “if anything happens to him it’s on you.”

bestie!kook finds renfield’s dead body in the truck

she didn’t mean to truly. she was just worried about rafe and went looking for him in his own. he hadn’t been home for a while she wasn’t expecting him to be there, much less there with a dead body.

“it’s not what it looks like.”

she gasps, “rafe.”

“don’t scream.” breathing heavily, he looks at her lips then her eyes. “i didn’t kill him.”

she meets his eyes. “i believe you.”

his eyes widen in relief and shock. the upper corner of his mouth twitches up, the ghost of a smile. “i don’t why i ever doubted you.”

she looks back at the body and frowns. “what are we gonna do?”

“we?”

“if you think i’m gonna let you do this alone you really don’t know me.”

bestie!kook who is crushed when rafe leaves for guadeloupe. she stays in her room and cries believing that he’s gone for good. her friends and parents are worried at

bestie!kook who gets a knock on her door on her balcony window when she wakes up and runs to grab the gun she got after everything that went down with rafe and barry

she slowly approaches her window and opens her curtains with her gun drawn.

“hey.”

“rafe?” to say she’s shocked would be an understatement. “what the fuck are you doing here?” her tone hurts his chest but it doesn’t surprises him.

“i understand you’re mad.”

“understatement of the year.”

“but i can explain everything.”

“okay go.”

as far as explanations go. it’s not the worst excuse she’s ever heard. he pulls her into a tight hug. she could never stay mad at him for long.

“don’t ever leave me again.” it’s muffled into his chest.

“i won’t.”

————————————-———————————-

i really hope y’all liked this one it took me a minute. comment your thoughts, criticism is welcome as always but keep it classy. <3

accepting it- c.leclerc

summary: charles has been a bit too distant during your pregnancy, and what max said about his own child brought some ugly truths to the surface, hurting you in the process. charles realises his mistake, but it's just too late for you to believe him.

pairing: husband! charles leclerc x fem! pregnant! wife! reader

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

The quiet unlocking of the door was what had woken you, Charles was sure of it. He hadn’t wanted to, mostly because he knew he’d say something stupid and piss you off. He wouldn’t mean to, but he would. That’s what the start of the season was, that’s what becoming a father was, that’s what the stress did to him. 

“Hey handsome,” you smiled sleepily from the coach, all bundled up in blankets as some random Netflix series played on the screen. 

“Hey beautiful,” he exhaled harshly, then turned to you, (fake) smiling. “You alright?”

You nodded. “Just tired,” you yawned. “Want to head to bed?”

He nodded with a groan. “Yes, please.” 

He helped you up off the couch and it hit him how close you were to giving birth. You were in the third trimester, heavily pregnant with a slightly complicated pregnancy. He grimaced when he saw you grabbing your back in pain. 

“Alright?” he asked as you winced. 

You took a deep breath and continued on to your bedroom. “Fine,” you said through gritted teeth, the pain easing. 

He led you over to your side of the bed and helped you lie down. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and turned out the lights, ready to sink into his side of the bed after his exhausting day. 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

He woke up to the sound of vomiting. It wasn’t usual to hear, but it had gotten less frequent as the pregnancy went on. “You alright baby?” he called out. 

His question was met with more vomiting. He huffed as he pulled himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom, looking at you hunched over the toilet. He frowned and knelt beside you, holding your hair. After another few minutes the vomiting stopped and you looked up at him, exhausted and sick. 

“Feels any better?” he asked. You shook your head and he frowned again, pulling you into his chest. He smoothed a hand through your hair as you leant against him, trying to calm yourself down. “It’s alright,” he soothed. “You’re alright.” 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

Brunch was going to be hell on earth for both of you, but you still both dressed up and got in the car, pretending to be excited about the family luncheon. 

“Can you believe Max said he wouldn’t miss a race for the birth of his baby?” you scoffed, scrolling through your phone as Charles drove to his mother’s house. “Poor Kelly.”

Charles gulped beside you. He’d been dreading this conversation for weeks, unsure when to have it. It’s not that he didn’t want to be there for the birth of his child, he did, badly, but he couldn’t throw away championship points for anything. He’d make an exception if it was a sprint race, but other than that… he couldn’t chance it. “Well, he has a good reason to,” he shrugged nervously. 

You turned your head to him, shock painting your features. “Are you joking right now?” 

Charles shrugged. “Not really. He’s the World Champion and he needs to stay on top this year, especially if it’s his last year, which he’s thinking it might be. I understand where he’s coming from.”

You were both quiet for a minute, taking in what he’d said. 

“So what about us?” you asked in a small voice. 

“You’re due on a non-race week,” he shrugged. “We just hope she doesn’t come earlier than that.” 

He didn’t dare look over at you, scared of what he might see. He knew this was selfish, but he couldn’t piss away his chance at being champion, not when he’d worked his entire life for it, not when his parents, family, and friends gave up so much.  

“Oh,” you breathed out, trying to stop yourself from crying. “Alright then.” 

The rest of the car ride was silent, you watched the streets of Monaco whip by you as Charles drove up to his mother’s house, and you thought. Thought about giving birth alone. Thought about how Charles had promised you he’d be there. Thought about how shitty it felt to be second to his job. You wiped your unshed tears away before you walked inside.

When you walked inside, Pascale instantly knew something was wrong. Charlotte immediately took you away to chat together, and Lorenzo was too busy giving out to Arthur about breaking up with Jade to notice, but Pascale noticed. She saw the way Charles watched you from across the room, trying desperately to catch your eye, to gauge your reaction, something. 

She pulled him aside. “What’s wrong?” 

He sighed. “Maman, it’s nothing-”

“What did you say to your wife?” he demanded. He looked down, ashamed. He knew he was in the wrong, but he still felt justified, though that justification was slowly dwindling. 

“We were talking about how Max wouldn’t miss a race for his baby, and I said I’d do the same,” he admitted. 

“Excuse me?” Lorenzo inserted himself in the conversation. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Arthur was even looking at him in disgust, Arthur. “Charles, that’s not right-” 

“You don’t get to talk, alright?” he shot at his younger brother, who quietened out of shock. “And what else am I supposed to do? Every single year in Formula One I feel the championship falling away from me! Y/n understands-”

“She shouldn’t have to,” Pascale interjected. “Do you want that little girl? The one your wife has been carrying without complaint for 8 months?” 

Charles nodded vigorously. “Of course I do-!” 

“So you should be there for the woman who’s carrying her! She has been pregnant basically on her own for the past 8 months, either you were racing, or training, or enjoying your break - which meant doing extreme sports that she cannot do! That woman loves you too much to see how you’ve been treating her, and it’s sad, Charles. She does everything for you, and you’re even entertaining the idea of not being there for her while she goes through possibly one of the most painful experiences of her life? Are you insane?” she argued, shocked at her own son's selfishness. “If you cannot see that the woman you love is more important than a race win, you should really just let Y/n go and find a man that actually loves her. Not one who is more focused on his personal goals than the goals of his family. Your father and I raised you to be a racer, yes, but first and foremost we raised you to be a good person. And being a good person means being a good husband and father to your family, which is just starting.” 

Charles stood there for a moment in silence, ashamed of his behaviour. “You’re right.” 

“I know I am,” she scoffed. “Go make it right with Y/n, now.” 

Charles scurried off to find you in the garden with Charlotte, she had her arms around you as you explained everything that had happened, how distant Charles had been, what he’d said about the birth, everything. Charlotte sent him a particularly withering look as he stepped out into the sun, and he knew he deserved it. 

“Can I talk to my wife?” he asked, standing behind you. 

“She’s busy right now Charles,” Charlotte scoffed. “I’m just trying to calm her down from crying. Come back later.” 

His heart broke slightly, he knew you’d been taking the burden of the baby a lot more than he had (obviously), and he thought he was being gracious by not bringing it up. He thought he was doing the right thing by giving you space, but he was just subconsciously trying to ignore the fact that his life was going to change drastically and that he was scared. Still, he never thought he’d be the one to make you cry. 

“Please,” he begged. 

You gave Charlotte a nod, and she smiled at you sadly, then left you to talk. He took the seat she had been sitting in and placed a hand on your thigh. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m ruining the whole day.” 

His heart actually broke then. He was being a dick, he was in the wrong, and you were apologising. What the actual fuck? He shook his head, squeezing your thigh. “No. If anyone ruined today, it was me. My selfishness has been ruining this entire pregnancy for you,” he admitted. “And I’m sorry.” 

You stared up at him in shock. 

“You’ve been doing this on your own since day one, and that’s my personal failing. I’m sorry that I was so… distant. I was busy getting in my own head about my career, when the most important thing was right in front of me. I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll forgive me,” he took your hand and squeezed, looking at the ground. 

“Charles, I know what I signed up for when I married you,” you admitted, dropping his hand. “I know you’re ambitious, I know you want to win, and I know you won’t stop until you’re the best. Sometimes it just… gets to me that I’m not enough for you, that our family isn’t enough for you. It’s just… hard sometimes, alright? And if I’m being honest this is a bit too much too late. I know my place in your life, and I’ve accepted it. I just hope you prioritise our daughter more than you prioritise me,” you tearfully explained before getting up and going back inside. 

Was that really the standard he’d set for the love of his life? Surely not?  He had to fix this, and quick.

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

navigation for my blog :)

ferrari masterlist

i fear the old meme of “put george russell on pole and his teammate in p20 and they will finish next to each other” has resurrected itself

when my two worlds collide 🙂‍↕️

favs 😍

#jude bellingham #charles leclerc #lovedem

i love you i'm sorry, charles leclerc + jude bellingham

summary : y/n y/ln and charles leclerc are the it couple in the f1 universe and when they aren't spotted together for some time hell breaks loose all over the internet. it's not long before y/n starts soft launching a new relationship but unbeknownst to her charles is still keen to get her back. faceclaim : cindy kimberly a/n : pls lmk if u want part 2 because i have so many ideas hehe

y/nusername a girl who is going to be just fine because she has her two boys.

liked by charlesleclerc, kikagomez, landonorris and 2,729,920 others.

charlesleclerc forever mon amour ❤️

y/nusername forever and always x

f1fan829 this is who i want to be when i grow up

user9292 no wag has ever wagged like she has

y/nfan91 crying because why are they acc the cutest ever 😭😭

user_0082 mom and dad

f1lover4eva id acc die if they broke up

username127 the hottest couple to ever exist and i will stand by that ✋️

kikagomez you have me too girl ;)

y/nusername love uuuu

forzaferrari56 love themmm

user11133 idk who im more jealous of actually

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

text messages between y/n and charles

yk i love u right ? charles

ofc i do you only tell me like a hundred times a day 😭 y/n

ik ik i just don't want u to ever forget it, god im going to miss you sm over the next few weeks charles

oh baby we'll be okay and besides the monaco gp is less than a month away y/n

ik but i'm really going to miss you charles

such a simp y/n

🙄 charles

i'm really going to miss you too y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

charlesleclerc tough race for us as a team, hopefully we can bounce back at the next one 💪

liked by f1, y/nusername, carlossainz and 1,182,929 others.

user182 it's okay pookie we still love you 🫶

f1fan totally not your fault ferrari are to blame again

username67 wtf was that strategy....

f1lover plsss a podium in monaco we believe in you <3

user728 stopp he looks so sad

y/nusername love you always x

charlesleclerc 😘

forzaferrari they are actually just screwing up this whole championship for him

y/nusername 🌟🐇

liked by charlesleclerc, carmenmundt, lewishamilton and 2,018,528 others.

username_89 oh charles i get it

user00 she is literally the prettiest everrrr

f1fan it's giving disney princess

ln4_7 WE NEED Y/N IN MONACO OH PLS I BEG

charlesleclerc i'm so lucky

user116 atleast he's aware f1lover 😭😭

carmenmundt the prettiest angel <3

user728 omgg i need that lip combo rnnn

f1lover yes i am indeed jealous of charles leclerc

f1 monaco gp this weekend !!

liked by charlesleclerc, y/nusername, maxverstappen and 1,302,628 others.

user88 the girls that get it get it

f1fan this is my superbowl

user7202 i've waited all year for thissss

f1lover hoping that charles can acc get the winnn

user728_7 yesss ferrari pls don't mess up his strategy i beggg

user11 hehe can't waittt

y/nusername monaco ✈️

charlesleclerc it feels like a fever dream bit i couldn't be happier, the best weekend on my life. i love you all so much thank you for supporting me.

liked by y/nusername, maxverstappen, carlossainz and 5,728,929 others.

maxverstappen congrats :)

charlesleclerc ❤️ f1fan never beating the lestappen allegations

user78 so we can all collectively agree we all cried when charles crossed the line??

y/nusername so incredibly proud of you my sweet boy i love you so so much

user728 i can't im so emotional rn

username y/n's comment omg im sobbingg

f1fan never ever getting over this

f1updates highlight of my year actually

user266 his smile 🦋🦋

*y/nusername has just uploaded a new video*

》 oh my queen

》 her vlogs are acc my comfort

》 stopp the clip of charles playing piano to her im sobbing

》 her reaction to charles' win is everything

》 her voice is so soothing

》 i got the notification and screamed

y/nusername a quick stop in paris 🥐🇫🇷

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, pierregasly and 1,819,729 others.

pierregasly are u happy to be in paris

y/nusername oui

user845 "a quick stop in paris" oh girl u rich rich

username ugh to be leo leclerc like that dog has a better life than me and it's sad honestly

f1fan awww the cutest family

landonorris where was my invite :,(

f1lover whenever y/n posts ik it's going to be good

user78 i don't think i'd be okay if they ever broke up

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between charles and y/n

was this whole relationship just a joke to you y/n

did i ever even mean anything to you y/n

fuck of course you did baby i love u charles

you love me?!?! y/n

yes yk i do charles

we have been together 6 YEARS 6 YEARS CHARLES y/n

if you are not ready now, you are never going to be y/n

thats not true charles

yes it is charles y/n

if u don't want to marry me after 6 years of being in love with me you never want to it's as simple as y/n

i'm sorry but i just can't be with someone who doesn't want the same things y/n

charlesleclerc summer

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, danielriccardio and 7,192,111 others.

landonorris ☀️

user828 i'm speechless

username11 looks like charles got leo

f1fan i miss them

user718 this breakup just can't be real

f1lover he's already replaced y/n with lando 😭

username_55 unless i see a statement or them dating other people i'm just going to try to convince myself it's rumours

anon delulu is the solulu

y/nusername i've never been happier :)

liked by charlesleclerc, carmenmundt, kikagomez and 5,299,551 others.

username_67 👀

user28 this is so petty of her and i love it

f1fan help not charles in the likes

f1_wag i refuse to believe they broke up....yes i'm that delulu

user727 that post breakup glow 😍

f1lover oh charles defo regrets losing her like omggg how can someone be this gorgeous

charlie_7 these pics are so aesthetic i could cry

user51 ik everyone only cares about the drama but GUYS Y/N IS SERVING CUNT

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between charles and y/n

please y/n charles

please charles

i can't take it anymore charles

i regret everything i said and i wish i had never even said it i wish i could take it all back charles

fuck i love u sm charles

i don't deserve you one bit charles

yeah you don't y/n

leave me alone charles y/n

we're done y/n

move on y/n

but i can't

*this user has blocked you*

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

judebellingham

liked by y/nusername, football728, realmadridfc and 7,929,728 others.

user828 he fine asfff

f1fan guys y/n is in the likes....

username728 what a player 🤍

user_27 great game today jude keep it up!!

f1lover waittt are y/n and jude like dating

user25 omgg stop she just liked his post get over it weirdo

anon charles is better

username_12 great game, but y/n y/ln come on man

y/nusername finally found someone who treats me right 🤭🫶

liked by judebellingham, oscarpiastri , maxverstappen and 4,729,519 others.

user727 BRO WHAT

username i just opened instagram-

f1fan im shooketh

oscarpiastri glad you're happy ❤️

y/nusername thanks x user828 I KNEW IT I KNEW OSCAR WAS TEAM Y/N

user999 oh charles

f1lover f1 wag to football wag is crazy like girl what crystals are u using?????

user_27 ik this was probably supposed to be a soft launch....but girl you just broke the internet

username616 ik y/n is giggling just reading all these comments

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between lando and charles

did you see y/n's post? lando

yup charles

are you okay? lando

ha i mean no not at all charles

like its only been like 5 months and i have told her that i want her and i love her and now she's with him charles

sry mate but jude is actually sound lando

shit ik he is that's what makes this worse charles

maybe he is better than me charles

oh charles mate don't be thinking like that lando

lando she's never going to take me back charles

you don't know that lando

she blocked me charles

oh lando

like how am i supposed to sort everything with her charles

maybe you still can lando

how....wdym? charles

write her a song lando

......are u being fr charles

well yes i was but forget it just trying to help lando

no no wait you might actually be right charles

ha your welcome lando

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

vogue model y/n y/ln confirms relationship with footballer jude bellingham

liked by f1fan7282, kikagomez, georgerussell and 5,910,011 others.

user9292 ik we all knew BUT WHAT

f1fan charles is probably dying rn

user0 imagine fumbling the y/n y/ln

user0101 jude is one lucky guy

username78 she's still the IT girl in my eyes idc what ya'll say

f1lover girl it's only been a couple of monthssss like chilll

user627 ugh if only i was a rich model living in monaco

y/nlover wait this is acc so iconic

charlesleclerc my first single "i love you i'm sorry" from my debut album comes out tomorrow at 12pm est. i have put alot of work into this and i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed making it. music has always been an escape for me and a way for me to express my feelings so i felt that it was right to put this album out. love you all ❤️

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri and 10,729,819 others.

user879 this is actual insanityyyy like sir wdymmm

f1fan oh he's hurtttt

user929 okay okay ik we all know its about y/n but can we talk about how that is literally SIR LEWIS HAMILTON IN THE SECOND PIC TF?!

f1lover i feel like im living through a moment of history rn

lewishamilton love u brother had the best time working on this with you 🙌

16_charlie what can't u do???

user000 my divorced parents

anon screw y/n what a bitch

landonorris your welcome everyone (i encouraged him to write this album)

user727 ha this is why we love u lando !! username22 omgg no wayyy f1fan pls this is so on brand for him

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@llando4norris

@hadidsworld

@sweetestgirlintown111

@mxryxmfooty

@heavy-vettel

𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠❤︎︎

: ̗̀➛ toxic relationship with Rafe Cameron .

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

👏🏾‼️

not to be that bitch. but if you, as a fellow white person, go and send hate or condescending messages to poc writers or artists bc they write poc reader or draw poc OCs or whatever, I'm gonna hunt you for sport. "I can't picture myself as a poc reader" fuck do you know how poc feel with how fucking racist a lot of fandoms are?? with how little inclusivity there is in stories written by white people? and they don't come to you bitches and shit on you, because they are decent human beings and know that you bitches actually don't care, because if you would, you would at least try to be more inclusive. also, how come you bitches are okay with the descriptions of reader that don't correlate with your own body (hair length, boob or ass shape, eye color, whatever it is) but as soon as reader is described to have features that are more distinct with poc you suddenly lose all your capabilities for imagination. yk why? because you're being racist like that. and you can say whatever you want about how you're "an ally actually" and all that crap bc at the end of the day, as long as you do this shit, you still are acting in racist ways, probably with racist mindsets deep rooted inside your brain. so go and work on that shit. no one is unfailable, but you should at least do your fucking best to not be a piece of shit every fucking day.

ferrari bottling the first race will create a satisfying underdog winner story and create an exciting trajectory and that's why we are the best team in the sport actually

hiii i was just reminded of this song & thought it was v angsty rafe coded so if you’re still accepting requests for your 5k celebration (congrats sm again btw!!!) may i req a 🍪 with sober by elita?

₊˚⊹ᰔ 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

pairing: dark!rafe x bambi!reader

summary: ❝when i'm with you i float on a cloud, but you cover my mouth and leave my legs bound. i'm scared that i gave you all of the control. i can't get up, i've dug myself into a hole.❞ — a back and forth match about rafe’s sobriety ends with him between your thighs.

warnings: dark themes, drug use, mentions of addiction and sobriety, arguing, yelling, rafe drugs you, dubcon (?), rough sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, slapping, choking, crying, dacryphilia, no aftercare whatsoever :(

word count: 1.2k

a/n: this is out of the norm for me to write, pls read warnings carefully and don’t read any further if you’re not comfortable <3 participate in this poll if you’d like!

“what are you doing?” you froze, eyes puffy and red from crying. rafe looked up from the small bag of blow between his fingers, his eyebrows knitting in irritation. “what the fuck does it look like?” he sneered, his knee bouncing as he itched for his next bump. you watched him take the white powder on his finger, wasting no time in rubbing the substance on his gums. your heart broke for him. “you said you were going to stop..” you stepped closer to him, the tears flowing once again.

“yeah? well, what else can i do?” he pushed you back, your hands catching onto his arm. “you promised me, rafe! you said it!” you cried, your boyfriend getting up before slamming you down on your shared bed. you released a breath, his manic eyes burning into yours. “look at you.” you whispered, his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. “how did we get here?” you croaked, panic settling in the pit of your stomach. rafe gritted his teeth, squeezing you tighter.

you started struggling against him, only being able to get out of his grip when you raked your nails down his chest. “you did this to yourself!” he shouted, punching the wall. “you choose to stay here, so i don’t ‘wanna hear shit.” rafe spat, turning around to shoot daggers at your crying form. “i just want you to be healthy. ‘n not high all the time.” you whispered the last part, your heart dropping when he narrowed his eyes at you. “what did you just say?” rafe stalked towards you.

“you know it’s true.” you scooted further up the bed, your heart hammering in your chest when he started laughing. “your eyes get so big, you scare me.” you flinched when he gripped the bedsheets, pulling them so he could get you close. “i scare you?” he laughed harder, “i’ll really give you something to be scared about.” you attempted to run, but he ultimately had the upper hand in caging you between his arms. “where the fuck do you think you’re going, huh?”

you shook your head, cupping his face. he looked like he was on the verge of going off the deep end. “no where! no where..” you were panting, afraid of what he might do. you had to be careful and watch your every move when rafe wasn’t in his right mind. any slip of tongue or the wrong movement would send him spiraling. “you trying to leave me?” his voice dropped a few octaves, his fingers shaking against your skin. “no. i could never leave you, remember?”

the fear in your eyes were as clear as day, and rafe knew you were lying out of instinct to stay on his good side. that only pissed him off more. swallowing thickly, rafe sat back on his heels, taking the small bag out of his pocket. “i didn’t want to do this to you, baby..” he took the tip of his finger and dipped it in. “but i promise you’ll feel so good.” with the powdery drug on his index finger, you started thrashing against him as he forced his digit inside of your mouth.

“no!” you screamed, but it was too late. rafe wore a wicked smile, popping the same finger in his mouth to get off the residue that didn’t smear against your tongue and gums. you stayed frozen underneath him, looking up at the ceiling as rafe got up from on top of you. not knowing where he went, or what he went to do, you laid there until you found it impossible to be still. getting up from the bed, you walked into the bathroom where you stared at your reflection.

your pupils were absolutely blown, a pang of hurt pulling at your heartstrings. you had given rafe so much control, that he did the unthinkable to you. speaking of the devil, you looked up at him as he emerged from behind the door, his eyes meeting your matching ones. he wore a smug look on his face, like he was proud of himself for corrupting you. “feel like you could run a marathon?” you were breathing fast, a thin sheen of sweat adorning your skin.

“how could you?” you turned around, his hands planting themselves on your hips. he felt hot, like his flesh was on fire. “don’t worry, bambi, you’ll be fine.” he kissed you, his taste just as intoxicating. if it wasn’t for the endorphins running through your veins at a million miles per minute, you would’ve pushed rafe away. instead, you felt like you needed to move, and fast. you kissed him back, the fervor between the two of you growing until he picked you up and carried you to your room.

nipping your bottom lip, you whimpered, the stinging sensation only making you cling onto rafe with more desperation. “gonna fuck you so good, baby. ‘have you coming down from that high around my cock.” he pinned you to the mattress, forcing your legs open as he slipped his shirt off in one swift movement. you gasped when he held both of your ankles in one hand, pushing down so your knees met your chest.

the sound of rafe’s zipper was the last thing you heard before he thrusted into you without warning, eliciting a piercing scream from your lips. he hadn’t got you ‘ready’ for him the way he normally did, your walls fluttering around the intrusion that was his throbbing cock. your back arched off of the sheets, your eyes watering as rafe merely used you to get himself off. he worked with precision, having no regard for you as he relentlessly slammed his hips into your own.

your nails dug into your skin, forming crescents as you cried underneath him. “rafe!” you tapped on his arm, which only agitated him. “shut the fuck up.” he said through gritted teeth, landing a slap to your cheek. holding your face, rafe looked down and groaned. he knew it was wrong to get off on you crying, but with lust and blow running through his system, he didn’t care. “you’re so mean.” you whined, your muscles aching as he started toying with your clit.

“i’m not mean. i’m the one who fuckin’ takes care of you,” he pressed a kiss to your calf, “so just lay there and take what i give you.” your eyes rolled back, your thighs trembling when his thrusts became sloppy. you hated yourself for falling into his ministrations, your orgasm ripping through you as rafe collapsed on top of you with a moan. “oh, shit.” he spilled inside of you, the thick ropes of his cum coating your velvety walls. he wiped your eyes before kissing your cheek.

you were coming down from both highs when he left you, the sound of the shower turning on in the nearby bathroom. you felt scared, not knowing what to think of your reaction to the drug you grew to hate so much. when rafe got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, he didn’t spare you a glance before changing and plopping down on the edge of the bed. “you make me lose my temper when you wanna argue about shit like that. keep your mouth shut next time.”