going to tell my grandkids what it was like being a hamilton and piastri fan at the 2025 chinese grand prix
⋆ ★ you and rafe having a argument midfuck...
18+ smut (pinv), squirting, cursing, angst, spit kink, high-key toxic relationship, (accused) cheating, Toxic!Manipulative! Rafe, mentions of ocs
a/n: putting this fic out until I'm done writing part two of how I slept with your father. Also thanks for all the love and support 💕
You'd been lying on your side; your leg rested on the curve of Rafe's shoulder. Your hand, the one that wasn't periodically stimulating your clit, had been clenched in a fist with your head resting on top of it.
Your body moved with each hard thrust of Rafe's thick cock, and though the pleasure of Rafe's length never failed to make you feel good, you stayed there emotionless, staring bitterly into the cerulean color of Rafe's eyes.
You couldn't help but wonder how you had arrived at this point, where physical pleasure no longer carried any emotional weight. The once-intense connection between you and Rafe had momentarily faded, leaving only a hollow emptiness in its wake.
Rafe had been staring at your glistening slit and your little hole, outstretched and turning red from the never-ending penetration of his cock.
He figured something was wrong with you because you hadn't moaned, not even when he let a glob of his spit plop down onto your pussy and fucked it inside of you; you usually liked when he did stuff like that.
And though Rafe could have asked if there was something he'd done wrong (which he was sure he did), he didn't risk it; after all, you'd let him fuck you to sleep, so you couldn't be that mad at him.
"Switch." he told you, moving your leg from his shoulder and resting both your legs on his sides, where he slotted his body between you and started fucking you in missionary.
"Do you think Courtney fucks good?" You asked.
Rafe stilled inside you momentarily, taking a moment to match a face to the name "Courtney".
He slowly begins moving inside your warmth, the sound of bodies connecting going "plap...plap...plap".
"Who's Courtney?"
You leaned up to where you rested on your elbows, now your nose, and eyes leveled with Rafe's.
"Y'know, that red-head chick who bartends at the country club." You said.
Rafe had told you 'no,' that he didn't know any red-headed girl named Courtney who bartended at the country club, but deep down, he knew exactly who you'd been talking about. Everyone at the country club knew of Courtney--particularly the guys, having given her the nickname "cherry" for her loud red hair and double d size tits.
"The girl you always give good tips to and always joke with, that's Courtney, that should jog your memory." You said.
Rafe had a feeling you wouldn't let this go, so just as he adjusted himself on his knees, and pulled both of your calfs on his shoulders, He pretends to realize, saying "Ah, that's Courtney."
"Yeah, her." you say.
The both of you stayed silent for a moment, Rafe's cock still plunging deep inside of you. There had been a moment when you'd felt the tip of his cock kiss your g-spot, causing you to roll your eyes to the back of your head and clinch hard around his length.
"Fuckk." he drags, kissing your temples, and squeezing your left breast.
"So, do you think she fucks good?" You ask again.
"Who?" Rafe plays dumb.
"Courtney, who else?"
"How should I know?" Rafe grumbled, agitation wrangling over his face, and as a consequence, his grip on your hips tightened, and he started fucking into you faster, and just for the sake of your comfort, you retracted your legs back to your sides.
You looked down to where you and Rafe connected; it had been a gaudy mess of spit, sweat, and arousal--the result of trying to get yourselves off for hours.
As Rafe pounded into you, you found it suddenly hard to keep your composer. It was challenging to hold yourself up on your elbows and even more difficult to form a coherent sentence that didn't involve long pauses, quiet moans, and panted 'fucks.'
But you had to confront Rafe about Courtney. Now would be the only good time, and he couldn't walk away or turn this into a big screaming match.
He had the serenity of your pussy to keep him calm and rooted.
So you pushed through the immense feeling of pleasure.
"Why'd you ask me about Courtney?"
Rafe may have been cruising on uncharted territory, but he just had to know what you have heard about him recently.
"Well, you know how every fucking kook goes to the country club?" You asked, and Rafe hadn't said anything. "And you know how all of our friends are kooks and you know how people talk?" Rafe kept fucking into you.
"I heard while I was away in Venice for my father's birthday, you were seen with Courtney."
"No shit." Rafe said. "She's the bartender at the Country club, and I go to the bar a lot, y/n."
And as if it was possible, Rafe brought your ass and pussy closer to him, his cock nudging that spongey spot inside of you repeatedly.
And though you wanted to drag this moment for as long as possible, you also wanted that knot in your belly to finally snap.
"Outside of the bar at the Country Club, Ray--Can you rub my clit?"
Your breath hitched at the rough flesh of Rafe's thumb, circling your little bud.
"At one of your parties, to be exact." You panted. "Everyone said the whole night you looked like you wanted to fuck her, so that's why I asked; I wanted to know if you think she would fuck better than me; if so, you can fuck her and not me.” you scold.
As time went on, it felt like the amount of pressure Rafe applied to your clit increased, and the feeling of his cock slotting in and out of your cunt seemed to be never-ending, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
"Shit." He cursed; you assumed he was close to his peak as well. "And who the hell is everyone?" He said over the sound of flesh slapping into flesh.
"My friends." You mewled.
"Those jealous bitches? Trina--isn't she one of your friends? She was practically on my dick all night, but because your friends said I was talking to another girl that's not you, I'm the bad guy? Fuck that." he spat, his thrust getting deeper and deeper--more sloppier.
"Rafe, I'm--I'm." you moaned.
"Shut up, I'm talking now. I'm getting sick of your shit, Y/n. Just because of your insecurities, I can't live my life. How am I going to be in a relationship with someone that constantly accuses me of cheating?"
Just then, as Rafe's hips hitched from him spilling inside of you (unbeknownst to you), you came undone. You'd been a squirter, so you squeezed your eyes tight as your cunt gushed uncontrollably around Rafe's cock.
Some of your arousal soaked Rafe's pelvis, the sheets of your shared bed, and even some splashed onto your stomach.
Rafe had gotten to you.
As he got up and put his disregarded clothes back on, you sat on your knees on the edge of the bed, watching him.
"I'm sorry, Rafe. Don't be mad at me. I should have thought things through." you cried.
"You're always saying that shit." He spat, putting his shoes on.
You brought your palms to your teary eyes as Rafe hovered over you.
"I expect my bedsheets to be replaced by the time I get back." He said.
"Where are you going?" you asked him.
"Don't you have a tracker on my car or some shit? You'll find out." He scoffed, and with that being said, he left.
Truth be told, you hadn't put a tracker on Rafe's car—nor his phone, which he was grateful for because if he had a tracker on him, he wouldn't be picking up Courtney from her shift at the country club, where they would fuck in his car for about an hour, pick up something to eat, probably fuck again, and then he'd drop her off on the south side of the outer banks.
And to be even more truthful, Rafe would feel like him fucking Courtney wouldn't entirely be his fault; after all, he'd gotten the idea from you.
𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠❤︎︎
JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron
Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
➥ series masterlist
summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.
Your rescue just comes with a price.
You gasped when Rafe tightly squeezed your wrist, pinning it down beside your head as his other hand trailed down your sweaty frame. It was only the evening, but after hitting a few balls at the country club, he came back in a mood that resulted in him reaching for you the moment he made it to his room. Any other day, and you would’ve gone played your role perfectly.
…but JJ was right downstairs.
All of Sarah’s friends were congregated in the living room, so you made yourself scarce no matter how much you actually wanted to stick around. It’d been hard to avoid JJ’s watchful eye every time you went downstairs, recalling the feel of him on top of you and his hands on you. It was something you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for weeks—even while lying next to Rafe.
You were so conflicted…and not just because you were cheating on your boyfriend.
The whole situation with JJ felt…off. You hadn’t really wanted to go that far, and when JJ kept pushing, you were still unsure if you regretted giving in or not. Was he right when he said you were just scared because Rafe had mentally fucked you up so bad? Had you really just been afraid of the unknown? After all, up until that night, Rafe was the only guy you’d done practically anything with. Those things were very true…and yet you wondered if you should’ve forced yourself to go along with things you weren’t ready for like you had.
…because the truth was that you did enjoy lying underneath someone you felt safe with. When sleeping with Rafe and letting him touch you and returning the favor…you had never not been afraid. Your first time had been a drunk and bloody and violent mess. You didn’t know what it was like to be with someone you trusted and felt wholly comfortable with.
It was an entirely different experience.
Your conflicting feelings were too much, and it was something you wanted to talk to JJ about, but you could just never find the time. Rafe had been especially clingy as of late, and on the off chance he wasn’t, the rest of JJ’s friends happened to be around to where you couldn’t get him alone without arousing suspicion.
Like today.
Unable to get JJ alone, you were forced to basically do nothing but wait for Rafe.
Your boyfriend had been insatiable for almost an hour, twisting his hand into your hair and pulling your face closer the moment he walked into the room. Lying on his bed, you hadn’t had much choice but to slide your lips along the length of his cock, the only silver lining being when he returned the favor. You’d hoped that he would be quick…
“You’re so quiet,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, hips snapping against yours. “What’s wrong?”
When your boyfriend pulled back to look at you, you only shook your head.
“Nothing…”
There was a slight furrow between his brows, and you didn’t like the look that passed over his features.
“You know I like hearing you,” he said, pulling his lip between his teeth. “…and it’s not like we’re at Topper or Kelce’s.”
You swallowed, and his hand tightened on your wrist.
“Is this about Sarah’s dumbass friends downstairs?”
Your heart skipped a beat.
“No…I…” you licked your lips. “Not really.”
Rafe had stopped moving, holding himself inside of you as he looked over your face.
“Not really…?” he repeated, eyebrow raised.
Glancing around the ceiling, you sighed.
“I’d just feel embarrassed…”
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. You would feel embarrassed about Sarah’s friends hearing you, but you especially didn’t want to think about JJ hearing you. Obvious reasons aside, JJ was the only one to know about what your relationship with Rafe was actually like. You didn’t want to imagine what he’d think.
Rafe scoffed.
“Who gives a fuck about them? This is my house,” he said, tone cocky as he leaned in to kiss you. “Besides…”
He slowly pulled his hips back before thrusting back into you just as slow.
“Let them hear what I do to you.”
His tone was sinister, a mocking lilt to his voice as he started to snap his hips against yours again. When you bit your lip, his movements grew rough, and you sharply inhaled. His hair brushed your forehead as he leaned in, and you couldn’t avoid his eye.
“I’ll fuck you all night if I have to.”
The warning was clear, and when he pushed his cock into you again, you didn’t swallow down your moan this time. As embarrassing as it was, the shame eventually left you when Rafe started pounding into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. At some point, you found yourself on your knees, fingers clutching the sheets and the pillows as he thrust into you from behind.
His hands were tight on your hips, and a mewl climbed out of your throat with every push of his hips.
When he leaned over you—chest pressing against your back—his hand snaked its way around your throat. His grip was tight, making you gasp and making your eyes roll. You reached up to cover his hand with your own, flinching when his teeth grazed your ear.
“You like that?” he wondered, and at your nod, he leaned down to nip at the skin of your neck. “Who’s making you feel this good?”
“You,” you gasped.
He hummed, a question in his tone, and he only seemed satisfied when you moaned his name. Pushing you down, he had you pinned, hips slapping against you as he repeated the question. Understanding what he wanted, you moaned his name again. And again. And again. Rafe only seemed satisfied when you were practically screaming his name, hand tight on your throat while the other dug into your hip and thigh.
When you came, you were shouting his name, and you heard him groan yours into your ear when he came too. You shuddered at the feel of him filling you up, shuddering at the stickiness between your thighs and the cum dripping around his cock and onto your folds. Laying you completely down, Rafe kissed down your back as he pulled out of you, telling you he was going to take a shower.
You wanted one too more than anything, but Rafe had a habit of commencing round two whenever you joined him under the water.
Instead, you took the time to roll onto your back, staring up at the ceiling as you pulled the sheet over your chest. As great as the sex was with Rafe—when it was consensual—you couldn’t help but to compare it to your time alone with JJ. Thinking back, you’d always thought your former friends were lying when they talked about other things being better than sex depending on the guy.
…but JJ’s fingers and his lips had sparked more excitement than anything Rafe did.
You knew why, and it made you sigh. Resigning yourself to everything with Rafe had been so much easier when you didn’t know what you were missing. You did now, though, and you weren’t sure how you were going to continue to pretend with no problem. Dealing with Rafe’s abuse didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world when you didn’t know how much better ‘better’ could be.
The fact that the ‘better’ was right downstairs had your heart skipping a beat, and as much as you wanted to go downstairs again just to see his face, you weren’t quite ready to face him after he’d so clearly heard Rafe fucking you.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
You wiped your face, crossing your arms over your chest as JJ pleadingly gazed at you. The pool house was quiet save for your occasional sniffle, and you were still when the blond reached for you—not quite rejecting him, but not quite accepting his advances either. There was still some dried blood under his nose, and the skin under his eye was already beginning to bruise.
All of it was evidence of his actions not even an hour ago.
Against your better judgement, you went along with Rafe to a small party on the beach. You’d texted JJ to see in advance if he was going to be there, seeing as the answer to that would determine your own actions, but you’d gotten no response. Hence, your own slight shock at seeing none other than a familiar blond talking to Kie.
You’d looked away the moment his eyes met yours.
Rafe—and you by extension—had kept his distance, but you hadn’t exactly anticipated JJ to be the one to start trouble tonight. Rafe had been talking to some friends that weren’t Kelce or Topper, his hand tight on your waist as he held you close. Per usual, you’d been quiet, just sipping on a beer you didn’t even like as your gaze roamed over the beach.
Your boyfriend had been shoved out of nowhere.
Before either of you had time to react, JJ was on him, throwing punches and taking you by surprise. No amount of yelling could get him to get off, and even when Rafe eventually got his bearings and started fighting back, blood was already smeared under his nose and on his lips. While Rafe’s friends tried to join in and make it unfair, John B. and Pope only tried to break it up.
You didn’t understand what happened, only able to look on in horror as your boyfriends fought.
When JJ slammed Rafe’s head into the sand, your heart jumped. There was a look on the younger blonde’s face like he could kill, and for a moment, you thought that he could. You hadn’t forgotten what he’d said to you in Rafe’s kitchen that day, and you didn’t want to acknowledge the way a brief bout of relief filled you at the thought of him actually killing Rafe. The feeling scared you, so much so that it made your stomach turn, and all relief was gone the moment you imagined JJ in jail.
You only wanted Pope and John B. to get him off of him.
When they did, they struggled to hold him back, and Rafe’s friends fared no better, your boyfriend determined to get his hands on JJ. You’d only been able to look between them, eyes lingering on JJ as he was pulled away. You hadn’t missed his brief glance towards you and the venom you saw there. You were only pulled from the trance by the feel of Sarah grabbing your arm.
“Are you okay? You didn’t get caught up in that, did you?”
You’d shaken your head, and she’d angrily tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Kie will drive you home,” she’d said. “I’m sure Rafe won’t take much convincing.”
She wasn’t wrong.
Your boyfriend was huffing and darting his eyes every which way when Sarah proposed she make sure you get straight home. Even if your boyfriend hadn’t said it, you knew what he was thinking. He still had a fight in his eyes, and you knew that whenever he made it to The Cut, if he didn’t find JJ, he would settle for either of his friends.
That was exactly what you told the blond the moment you walked through the pool house, positive as to where he’d found refuge.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I don’t know why…”
JJ trailed off, running his hands through his already messy hair.
“No…”
He chuckled to himself, shaking his head.
“I know exactly why I did that.”
He moved closer to you, jaw clenched as he gazed at you.
“I hate that everyone thinks he’s such a great boyfriend,” he sneered. “I hate that he can just walk into a party with you on his arm like he doesn’t treat you like absolute shit!”
Your face fell, and your gaze found the floor.
“God, seeing you standing there…? Like his little accessory or something? Just hanging on his arm without even being acknowledged like you aren’t even a person?” he wondered. “It made me angrier than expected.”
You sighed at that, some of your own irritation dissipating.
“JJ,” you exhaled, sadly looking at him. “You can’t let that bother you.”
“…but it does!”
His voice bounced off of the walls.
“It’s not fucking fair,” his voice was quieter, now, hand coming up to rest on your arm. “It’s not fair that he gets to treat you like that…and have you too.”
You could see it then—there in his gaze—that this wasn’t just sparked by tonight.
Closing your eyes, you sighed again.
“I can’t exactly…refuse to have sex with him JJ,” you softly whispered, slowly meeting his gaze.
You could see that it bothered him, disgust and anger flitting over his features.
“The rest of them were making jokes and pretending to gag,” he gradually replied. “…but all I could think about was him giving you a black eye…and then having sex with you weeks later.”
You wrapped your arms around yourself.
“So you fought him?”
“What else can I do?” he seriously wondered, giving you a look. “…until I can figure out how to get you away from him…I have to settle for kicking his ass.”
You couldn’t even focus on everything JJ said, lips parting as you blinked at him.
“Get me away from him? JJ,” you lightly scoffed. “I…”
Of course, you wanted that, but Rafe was…Rafe. Rafe Cameron, son of Ward Cameron and equally as rich as you. You didn’t want to imagine the things he could get away with considering what he’d already gotten away with. You recalled Ward’s convincing tone that day you’d called the cops on your boyfriend, telling you everything that you already knew. You especially remembered Rafe’s hands on your throat one night, threatening to kill you if you ever left him.
You’d long accepted your fate of walking on eggshells around Rafe forever.
“Are you telling me you don’t want to get away from him?” the blond wondered, fingers grazing the skin of your cheek.
“I do,” you told him, shaking your head. “You know that I do, but… I have no way of…”
Your words trailed off as JJ shushed you, his other hand coming up to rest on the other side of your face. His nose brushed against yours as he leaned in, foreheads touching too. His thumbs traced circles into your cheeks as he closed his eyes.
“Don’t you worry about that,” he whispered, lips brushing yours as he spoke. “I’m going to get you out.”
He pressed his lips to yours, and you thought about Rafe on The Cut looking for JJ, none the wiser to the fact that he was with you.
“I promise you.”
Ward and Rose’s party was in full swing, and yet you found yourself on your fifth drink of the night on the back porch. Rafe was especially irritating, going on and on about JJ, and unable to take it anymore, you’d slipped away to find comfort in your solitude. Since Topper and Kelce weren’t privy to what went down the other night, Rafe had to let them in on all the sordid details, and you couldn’t stand it.
That same night JJ had kissed you for what felt like hours, eventually letting you go once you reminded him that Rafe wouldn’t be out looking for him forever. It was reluctant, but he eventually kissed you one last time. It was still on your mind when Rafe finally came back, still angry at JJ and choosing to take it out on you, kisses rough as he pulled at your clothes.
He’d only seemed satisfied when you came around him for a second time, exhausted and milking him dry.
This feud or whatever between Kooks and Pogues had always been ongoing, but your relationship with JJ only added another complicated layer to it all. While Rafe thought the other blond was just being an asshole, you knew better. You knew that JJ was angry with Rafe’s treatment of you and saw himself as defending your honor or something.
You would’ve found it flattering if it didn’t worry you so much.
You were pulled from your thoughts by a familiar hand on your elbow, and you hadn’t even heard Rafe come outside. When you looked at his face, you could see the boredom all over it, and so you weren’t shocked when he said:
“We’re heading to Top’s.”
It wasn’t a suggestion, and you didn’t have any choice but to follow along as he pulled you through his house. The two familiar guys were already in his truck when you made it outside, and you could only stare out the window when you slid in next to Topper. You tried to ignore the way Rafe’s words slurred as he got behind the wheel, sipping on your own drink.
You could faintly hear him complaining to the other two about Rose’s ‘awful party’ and needing to ‘hit a few lines’. You rolled your eyes, not enthusiastic to be with Rafe and his friends while they snorted whatever up their noses. Despite his inebriation and irritation, Rafe still helped you out of the truck once he arrived. However, you figured out why when his lips immediately covered yours.
“Maybe you can cheer me up, hmm?” he wondered against your lips before pulling you along.
You almost tripped over the end of your dress, and you watched Rafe loosen his tie as he followed the other two inside. The atmosphere was immediately different, Kelce looking for something on his phone to play while Topper headed to the kitchen for more drinks. If you were going to halfway stomach the three of them at once, you’d need another.
While you went to the bathroom, you resisted the urge to text JJ.
Rafe was drunk—and was about to snort a line or two of coke—so his behavior was going to be extra unpredictable. The last thing you needed was for the blond to inquire about why you were on your phone so much and snatch it from you. You really didn’t want to imagine how that would go, shuddering at the thought, and you pressed your hands to your forehead.
Gazing into the mirror, you thought to yourself that you would’ve never thought this was your life a year ago—hell six months ago.
There was a time where you barely even knew JJ Maybank’s name, and now…now he was…what? Your second boyfriend? Your lover? Your guy on the side? Never mind the fact that you’d been too terrified of Rafe to even entertain the thought, but… There was a time where the thought of cheating on Rafe would’ve made you sick.
You felt your eyes burn, and you pressed your hand to your mouth.
You and Rafe were so far from how you’d started out, and while the abuse had certainly made you realize that, your recent actions only drove it home. You’d been sneaking around with someone that wasn’t your boyfriend. You’d been spending the night with him and kissing him and letting him touch you. The reality of just how far your relationship had fallen made you want to cry…
…and now JJ was talking about getting you out.
The thought was terrifying because…how? How was JJ—with his limited resources—going to do what you couldn’t? The thought of not being with Rafe anymore felt so relieving…but equally as scary. Rafe was all you’d ever known, although, you supposed that was no longer the case, and you reminded yourself that JJ told you not to worry about it.
It was easier said than done.
When you made it back downstairs, music reached your ears, and the sight of Rafe snorting a line off of the coffee table met your eyes. Ignoring him, you made your way to the kitchen, quickly finding yourself a drink. The night was going as it usually did, and for once you were happy to be ignored until Rafe remembered your presence.
You had too much on your mind.
You were on your third drink since coming to Topper’s when you finally found a seat on the couch. You tried to ignore how you stumbled, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as Rafe’s words reached your ears.
“…and the piece of shit just pushes me,” he scoffed. “For no reason.”
“What else can you expect from Pogues, man,” Kelce chimed in, shaking his head.
“The next time I see JJ, I swear to God, I’m going to make him swallow his fucking teeth.”
At that you did huff…and Rafe noticed.
The room grew quiet, but you figured that all the alcohol in your system made it hard to notice.
“Problem…?”
When you glanced up, Rafe’s familiar blue eyes were on you. Kelce and Topper were conveniently looking anywhere else, and you gave a humorless chuckle at their cowardice. You didn’t miss how blown your boyfriend’s pupils were.
“I just think it’s stupid…all of this fighting and back and forth,” you took another sip. “You find him and beat him up? Then what?”
You shrugged.
“He starts another fight the next time he sees you, and so on?”
“I wouldn’t expect you to get it.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” you agreed. “It’s stupid.”
At that, Rafe’s face twitched, and you watched him sit his drink down.
“You almost sound like you’re defending him…”
You were way more drunk than you’d intended, but his tone and the glint in his eye warned you off—your inebriation not making you lose your common sense.
“I’m not defending anyone,” you said after a tense pause. “It just seems unnecessarily violent.”
You thought about how angry JJ had been the other night, the look in his eyes, and you shuddered. You really didn’t want to see JJ and Rafe fight again—ever again if you had any say. Rafe only scoffed at your words before standing and making his way over to you. When he reached for your drink, you held it out of reach, and it was his turn to huff this time.
“You’re embarrassing yourself,” was all he murmured when he leaned in.
“…because I think it’s stupid to not just let this go?” you wondered with a frown. “God forbid you decide to act your age.”
His hand was circling your chin before you realized it, and you heard Topper lightly murmur his name. Your boyfriend stared you down, both of you just holding each other’s gazes as his fingers pressed into your skin. The room felt too quiet and too tense, and you searched his eyes, almost daring him to do something in front of his friends.
Listening to Top, Rafe let you go.
“Maybe I should take you home,” he sneered. “You’re ruining the mood, and nobody wants to hear your Kumbaya bullshit.”
His hand was on your arm, yanking you up, and he paid little attention to how you swayed. Rafe only cared about pulling you along, telling his friends he’d be back. You stumbled a few times in your heels, almost tripping over your dress, but Rafe just continued to force you outside. He practically shoved you into his truck, uncaring if you even pulled your dress inside of the vehicle all the way.
The moment he was next to you, you were unsurprised by the feel of his hand digging into your arm.
“What the hell is your problem? Huh?”
“I don’t have a-.”
“Bullshit!” he spat, shoving you away and starting the truck. “You’re practically defending JJ—telling me to let this go when he’s the one who snaked me.”
You knew that he wasn’t entirely wrong to want retaliation against what he believed to be an unprovoked act of violence, but you just couldn’t get that image out of your head. That glint in JJ’s eyes. If Rafe and JJ fought again, you were worried that someone was seriously going to get hurt, and if it was Rafe, there was no doubt in your mind he’d make JJ’s life hell.
Despite the alcohol and coke in his system, Rafe managed to safely pull into your driveway.
“You should probably drink some water when you get inside,” he mockingly said. “Sloppy drunk isn’t sexy.”
“Fuck you,” you sighed.
The slap was loud in the truck, and your cheek burned beneath your hand when you touched it. You didn’t know if the alcohol made the pain less or worse, and you blinked away tears. Some still escaped though, and you pulled your lip between your teeth as you sniffed.
“Hopefully you’ll have pulled yourself together by the morning,” Rafe murmured, unlocking the truck. “You know I hate when you get like this.”
Stumbling out of the vehicle, you made sure to slam the door behind you.
Rafe didn’t even wait around to watch you go inside, backing out of the driveway just as more tears fell. Your face stung more when the air hit it, and you sniffed, searching in your purse for your keys. Your parents were still at the Camerons’, and considering it was actually still pretty early in the night, you figured they would be for a few more hours. When you dropped the clutch, you cursed, and you were just about to bend down to get it when another hand beat you to it.
“Jesus!”
You might’ve fallen if he hadn’t reached out to grab you.
“No, JJ,” he teased, but his face fell as he really looked at you.
His hand tightened when you swayed, keeping you from falling, and his other hand reached out to hold you too.
“Hey…hey, are you okay?”
You touched your forehead.
“I’m fine,” you sighed. “Just the average night with Rafe Cameron.”
You wiped your face again, and JJ pulled you against him.
“Did he hurt you?”
The question made you laugh, and you reached for your purse again with a shrug.
“I don’t even know if a slap counts anymore,” you choked out with a bitter smile. “Ending the evening with only a slap is considered a good day.”
You could feel yourself crying again—you blamed the alcohol—and you didn’t protest when JJ took your keys. Rafe was long gone, so you let JJ guide you inside, a hand on your waist as he closed the door behind him. When you stumbled in your heels, it was a reminder that you were wearing them, and JJ bent down to help you take them off. You swayed when you put your foot down, and JJ steadied you as he rose.
“Let’s get you upstairs…”
You let him lean you on him, moving towards the staircase.
“It takes almost nothing to get him mad,” you murmured after a few moments, recalling his ire. “I don’t even know what I was thinking drinking so much tonight.”
You always had to be on high alert with Rafe—always had to be hyperaware and hyper focused on every single expression and word and change in body language. There was no relaxing around Rafe ever, and the thought made more tears fall. When you made it to your room, you immediately sat on the floor, dropping your face into your hands.
JJ softly called your name.
“You know that he grabbed me tonight…and Topper and Kelce barely did anything?”
You looked up at the blond as he sadly looked down at you, jaw clenching at that.
“…and I’d like to think that they would do something if he did much worse,” you slowly said. “…but the truth is…”
You shrugged at him.
“I don’t know,” you confessed. “They never speak out against him, so I don’t know why I’d ever expect that where I’m concerned.”
JJ moved to sit down next to you.
“Especially since they barely even acknowledge me on a regular basis.”
“Y/N…”
“I’m sorry,” you tearfully told him, shaking your head when he protested. “I don’t…”
“Don’t apologize for talking to me about this—any of this,” JJ firmly told you, taking your hands. “I wanna hate him for leaving you alone this drunk, but…”
JJ pressed his lips to your cheek.
“He’s probably the last person you should be with,” he whispered, pulling away slightly.
His blue eyes searched yours, and you blinked at him. You could see so many emotions pass over his features, anger being the most prominent, and JJ’s gaze hardened.
“I should kick his ass again-.”
“JJ,” you admonished.
“I should,” he said with a smile, kissing you. “I should do to him exactly what he does to you.”
Your drunk brain knew that JJ was in your bedroom and kissing you, but you couldn’t quite make sense of it. Your face still stung, and your chest still felt heavy, but all you could really focus on was the kiss. JJ kissed you like he missed you, and you supposed that you missed him too. When one of his hands rested on the back of your neck—the other on the zipper of your dress—you touched his chest.
“JJ…”
He gently shushed you, leaning in towards you more.
“It’ll be okay…”
“I don’t… I don’t think this is smart,” you told him, pulling away. “Rafe could easily decide to come back, and I…”
You bit your lip, eyeing him.
“I don’t want this going too far.”
JJ brushed his thumb along your bottom lip, pulling on it a bit.
“Trust me,” was all he said, kissing you again.
You did, but you knew that this wasn’t something you were prepared to handle yet. You wouldn’t be able to take anything back, and you weren’t mentally nor emotionally ready to walk around looking Rafe in the eye and pretending like you hadn’t had sex with someone else. You were already cheating on him, this was true, but sleeping with JJ just felt like the point of no return…and not just because of Rafe.
Rafe was unfortunately the only man you’d ever been with, and you weren’t able to get past that mental barrier.
“JJ,” you protested, words slurred. “Wait…”
Your back was pressed to the floor, JJ’s frame pinning yours down as he kissed you. Your movements were sluggish and weak, the alcohol in your system hindering them. It was hard to tell if you were actively trying to push him away and was just failing, or if you simply weren’t trying, at all because you didn’t want to.
Everything was so confusing.
The sound of the zipper on your dress was loud in the otherwise quiet room, and you shuddered when the air hit you. When JJ kissed you again, your thoughts halted momentarily, and you blinked up at the ceiling when his lips trailed down to your throat. The room was tilting, and you squeezed your eyes shut. The feeling of his lips on your chest and then your stomach made you shudder, and you pressed your hands to your forehead when you felt him yanking your underwear down.
Your next protest was forgotten when he tasted you.
Your chest arched, and you gasped, wide eyes on the ceiling. JJ’s tongue slid between your folds and across your clit while his hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place. His mouth on you was making your head spin, and too many thoughts were racing around in your head. You wanted to push him away…but you also wanted to pull him closer. You wanted to moan, but some part of you also wanted to swallow down every sound that threatened to come up.
Alcohol completely settled in your system, your vision went in and out, and the next time you blinked, JJ’s lips were touching yours. You could taste yourself on them, and you drunkenly hummed. The blond was saying something to you, but you could only halfway focus, slowly blinking at him.
“You’re okay,” he softly repeated.
You realized why when all of your senses came back into focus, and you felt yourself pushing against his chest. It was weak, anyway, positive that JJ could bat your hand away if he wanted to. Instead, he only kissed you again, deeply inhaling and reaching between you. When you felt the tip of him grazing your thigh, a shiver crawled up your spine.
You turned your head when he pressed open mouthed kisses along the expanse of your throat, shifting as he completely got rid of his pants, now. One hand kept himself hovering over you while the other reached behind his head to pull at his shirt. You shuddered again when his bare chest met yours. It was only just hitting you that you were about to have sex with someone that wasn’t Rafe…
…and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.
JJ was slow when he entered you. He took his time in pushing his cock into you inch by inch, and you didn’t know if he was giving you time to adjust or simply savoring the moment. Maybe both. You heard him sigh—you did too—and your nails pressed into his arm. When his hips firmly rested against yours, he held himself there, pausing and just basking in the feel of you wrapped around him.
You were also getting used to the feeling.
While he seemed to be just as long as Rafe, you weren’t prepared for the stretch, and you involuntarily moved your hips. The action made JJ hiss, and he pressed his forehead to yours. His breathing—like yours—was uneven, and he only started to move once he calmed himself down a bit. Pulling his hips back until only the tip of him remained, JJ swiftly thrust into you.
You softly yelped, hanging onto him, and JJ adopted a slow and steady pace. Your dress and the carpet beneath you were soft against your back, and JJ hummed as he sank into you. Your entire body felt abuzz with energy, and it fought with the alcohol in your system. Every push of his hips had you gasping, and when JJ lifted his head, his blue gaze held yours.
You were still really confused—the room tilting around you—but you trusted JJ way more than you ever trusted Rafe. Despite the fact that this was not what you wanted for your evening, your body slowly relaxed underneath his with every thrust. Despite everything, you weren’t scared, and those feelings heavily conflicted with your uncertainty surrounding this.
You hadn’t wanted this…but now all you could think about was JJ’s smooth thrusts and his efforts to push you both over the edge. You hadn’t wanted this, but you forgot why when JJ trailed his lips over your throat, sighing when you threw your head back. Your lips parted, a choked moan escaping as he curved his hips against yours.
JJ was being so gentle with you, and it was what stood out to you the most.
Then again, maybe everything felt good because you were drunk. You felt so light, like you were floating, and your lashes fluttered. JJ’s hand curved against your waist, holding you as he continued to fuck you, while the other ran up and down your side. He was saying something to you, and it took you a moment to focus.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against your lips, kissing you again. “Do you feel okay?”
When you gave him a nod, he smiled against your lips.
“I told you,” he whispered, cock stretching you out and sliding along your walls. “It’ll be okay.”
You moaned his name, chest arching up into his. He cursed as he held you tighter, and you wrapped your arms around him.
When you came around him, JJ kept moving against you, fucking you and plunging his cock into you. You clung to him as you shuddered, gasping and toes curling. When you squeezed your eyes shut, you saw stars, and JJ murmured soft praises into your ear. His movements prolonged your climax, the overstimulation making you shudder, and JJ only slid his hand under you to fist the hair at the nape of your neck.
When he forced your head back, his teeth grazed your neck, head drifting towards your collarbone.
“I want you to think about me every time you’re with him.”
In my ferrari horse girl era
me reposting this 🫡
me reposting all jude x black reader fics
why has no one written anything for my boy flo wirtz. he deserves some good, fluffy, angsty, heart wrecking yet so comforting content like no one else!😌
: ̗̀➛ toxic relationship with Rafe Cameron .
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Warnings: mentions of NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
➥ series masterlist
summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.
Your rescue just comes with a price.
~
The first thing you registered was the most painful pounding in your head.
You didn’t drink often, and when you did, it certainly was never to the degree that you did last night. Your throat felt scratchy, your mouth felt dry, and your eyes felt tight. However, you felt like that last one had nothing to do with the drinking. Bits and pieces from the previous night came back to you, and you remembered crying into JJ’s arms about Rafe.
At the thought of your boyfriend, something tugged at the back of your mind.
You were lying down on an unfamiliar surface, both the fabric beneath you and the smell of the room foreign. It smelled like a mix of weed and ocean water and burnt wood, making your nose twitch, and when you finally peeled your eyes open…you paused.
Kie was knocked out on the chair across from you.
You stared at her for a good while in confusion before it registered that Kie wasn’t asleep at your house because you weren’t at your house. Your lips parted as you slowly lifted your head, eyes roaming over the inside of a house you’d only been in twice. You were still at John B.’s, and there was that tugging in the back of your mind again, something important—yet still unknown—nagging at you.
Much more awake, now, the rest of the night came back to you.
You’d drunkenly confessed the true nature of your relationship to JJ—something you were still conflicted about—and he’d kissed you again. You didn’t know if it was the kiss or the full weight of your confession hitting you, but you remembered stumbling away. You remembered drinking some more, throwing them back at an alarming rate, and ignoring JJ’s concern as he discreetly tried to get you to stop.
You recalled throwing yourself into another drinking game with Sarah and her friends, something that resulted in your head in the toilet. Your attitude had been contagious, Sarah and Cleo and Kie sharing a similar fate. John B. and Pope were high, you weren’t trying to listen to a word JJ said, and you’d passed out on the couch.
You’d passed out on the couch.
You hurriedly sat up at that thought, eyes wide and stomach turning.
You’d briefly wondered what time it was, but it only now registered that light was bleeding in through the window, and it wasn’t the light of the moon. Within seconds your entire body felt overheated, and your heart felt like it was in your throat. Stumbling to your feet, you almost tripped over Sarah on the floor, the loud thud of your foot making her groan.
“Oh my God,” you breathed, frantically looking around for your phone.
You heard Sarah mumble something as you rushed around the room before pausing.
You’d left your phone at Kie’s to make Rafe think you were still over there. You pressed your hand to your mouth, feeling like you were going to be sick, head spinning. It was the next day, and you didn’t doubt that you probably had hundreds of missed calls from Rafe, knowing your boyfriend well enough to know he would only call so much before just getting in his truck.
“Oh my God,” you mumbled again, and by this point, Sarah was waking up.
“What?” she groaned. “What time is it?”
Your stomach wouldn’t stop jumping, and you frantically blinked back tears.
“I need to call Rafe,” you forced out, trying to not be sick.
Sarah wasn’t reacting fast enough for you, sighing and sitting up, blonde hair going every which way.
“What…?”
“I need to call Rafe!”
You hadn’t meant to sound so shrill, Kie making a noise of disapproval as she was forced to wake up. You didn’t even consider that you’d be waking up the whole house, quickly wiping your eyes. Sarah was fully lucid and awake now, hurriedly standing and worriedly eyeing you. She swallowed, pausing for half a second before looking around for her phone.
You only just noticed that JJ was sleeping on the floor closest to John B.’s room, the blond standing as Sarah spotted her phone on the table. You pressed your hands to your face, trying to slow your breathing, but nothing was working. The air felt too thick, and your head felt too spacey, and your fingers wouldn’t stop trembling.
“Y/N…”
You ignored JJ, snatching Sarah’s phone as she handed it to you.
“Hey, I’ll talk to Rafe,” she gently offered. “You just got drunk and passed out. He’ll…”
You didn’t hear the rest of Sarah’s words, quickly making your way outside to the porch. You heard her sigh, Kie’s voice just barely reaching your ears as she asked something. Your hand wouldn’t stop shaking as you held it to your mouth, the other pressing Sarah’s phone to your ear. Your back was pressed to the wall as you sat down, knees pulled up onto the bench. You took a deep breath to try and calm yourself again, but it was in vain.
…because Rafe answered on the first ring.
“Where the hell-?”
“Rafe…”
You softly cut him off, swallowing at the silence that met you. Any remnants of a hangover were long gone the moment you realized you’d slept at John B.’s. The fear of what waited for you when you went home had sobered you up, mind going a mile a minute as you wondered what you were thinking last night. Rafe was so quiet—you couldn’t even hear him breathing—and you felt a few tears escape.
“Rafe-.”
“Where are you?”
The question was simple enough, but you actually felt bile rise in your throat at the thought of the answer. You briefly closed your eyes, pulling your lip between your teeth.
“I’m with Sarah and Kie and-.”
“I didn’t ask you who you were with…” you sank in your seat. “I asked where you were.”
You pressed your fingers to your lips, staring out into John B.’s yard. Your gaze focused on his van as the door opened, Pope scratching his head as he stepped out, and you surmised that he and Cleo had slept in there. Your eyes passed over them and focused on the dock out near the water, memories of what you did out there last night plaguing your thoughts.
“I’m already pissed, so…don’t make it worse by having me repeat myself.”
You pressed your hand to your face, fighting back tears and so angry with yourself for screwing up so bad.
“I’m… I’m at John B.’s.”
The immediate disconnect made more tears escape, and you squeezed your eyes shut. You heard someone step outside onto the porch—joining you—and the silence told you exactly who it was. You didn’t acknowledge him, looking away, and you weren’t sure why. He’d already seen you at your worst last night, but last night was different.
Last night you were drunk and running from your problems by chasing a bottle. Today you were sober and ashamed and wholly afraid of what was going to happen. Someone finally knew, but yet you felt no relief. You didn’t know how to handle someone else knowing why you were so afraid and quiet, right now.
“Is he coming here?”
JJ’s voice was clipped, and you could only nod. Recalling that you had Sarah’s phone, you handed it to him, avoiding his gaze.
“Can you give that back to Sarah?” you sniffed. “…and tell her I’m sorry for snapping like that.”
He didn’t respond right away.
“Y/N…”
His tone had you shaking your head, looking back out into the yard as Pope and Cleo made their way to the house.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you whispered.
You both greeted them as they went inside the house, and from the corner of your eye, you could see JJ lean in.
“Just let me take you back to Kie’s, and then you can wait for him at home.”
You let out a bitter laugh, nodding.
“He’s already on his way…”
That you knew for a fact.
“As bad as things already are, trust me that it’ll be much worse if he gets here, and I’m gone,” you told JJ, finally meeting his eye.
You couldn’t place the look on his face, but you didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched as he stared at you. There was a huge elephant in the room between you, and for once, it wasn’t the kiss nor your complicated feelings for the blond before you. For two years, you’d been utterly alone in dealing with Rafe’s wrath, and you didn’t quite know how to feel at the worry bleeding into JJ’s gaze.
“You should go inside,” you quietly told him with a shrug. “I can’t imagine what would happen if he knew you guys were here too.”
JJ looked as if he didn’t want to listen to you, but eventually he did, and you were alone again with your thoughts. Even if you wanted to savor the memory of kissing JJ again, you couldn’t. The whole thing was tainted beyond belief, and if it weren’t for him periodically sleeping in your pool house, you would be sure that you’d never have the chance to see him again after today.
It was some time before you heard the familiar rumble of a truck, and you knew that Rafe had wasted no time and had probably run every stop sign just to get here. You glanced over when Sarah joined you on the porch, gaze apologetic as you stood.
“Let me talk to him,” she offered again. “What can he possibly say to a few girls having too much to drink and crashing?”
There was a silent agreement that Rafe couldn’t know about the guys’ involvement.
“You’d be surprised,” was all you said, sighing at Sarah’s pleading look. “That’s nice of you, Sarah, but I doubt it’ll make him feel any better.”
She merely ran her hand through her hair as Rafe’s truck came into view. The sight of it made your heart skip a beat, and the blonde teenager huffed.
“You know you deserve better, right?”
Her comment threw you, and unsure of how to respond, you only sent her a shaky smile.
“I’m serious,” she sneered, walking outside with you close behind. “He treats you like he doesn’t trust you, and instead of just going to therapy…”
Her words became louder once Rafe opened the driver’s side.
“…he’d rather take it out on you.”
“I’m not in the mood, Sarah.”
Rafe was talking to his sister, but you didn’t miss the cold look he fixed you with as he approached you. You shuddered when he placed a hand on the back of your neck the moment he reached you, lips grazing your forehead as he leaned in.
“…and you really have no reason for that. I took care of your girlfriend just fine,” she told him. “We just had too much to drink, and we fell asleep.”
Your boyfriend just hummed, pulling away to hold your gaze.
“Was that before or after the movie?”
His question came out low, so you knew that was solely for you, and when you merely pressed your lips together, Rafe’s nostrils flared. His hand was still on your neck as he guided you to the passenger’s side, only making the odd hum here and there as Sarah tried to plead your case. When he closed your door, your gaze traveled to the house, eyes lingering on the window as if you could see JJ inside.
“Give it a rest, Sarah,” you heard Rafe say as he opened his door. “You don’t think I know that you hate her being with me? Hmm?”
There was a heavy pause.
“I think you could treat her better, yes, but… You make it seem like I’m doing these things on purpose, Rafe!” Sarah hissed. “It was just girls having fun, and we lost track of time! You’re acting like she committed some grave offense instead of just behaving like a normal twenty-year-old.”
Your boyfriend didn’t respond to that, shutting the door in her face, and you reluctantly put on your seatbelt as he started his truck. You leaned your head back as you stared out of the window, savoring the view because this would be the last time you’d ever be on The Cut. At this point, Rafe was never going to let you out of his sight again if he could help it.
Reluctantly, you glanced at him, and your heart sank at the way he absolutely refused to look at you. Even if his knuckles weren’t completely white as his fingers clutched the wheel, you could almost feel the negativity radiating off of him. Against your better judgement, you said something.
“Rafe…”
You were cautious, unsure of how to proceed.
You’d never fucked up this bad before.
“Rafe, I…”
Your words died in the air when he held a hand up, not sparing you a glance. Mentally preparing yourself for what awaited you, you told yourself not to push your luck, sitting back and turning towards the window.
“Please, say something.”
You closed the front door behind you as Rafe made his way to the kitchen, basically ignoring you. Sarah was still at John B.’s, Ward was probably out taking care of business, and there was no telling where Rose was. Wheezie was probably the only one home, and you were only mildly sure of that only because she rarely left her room.
“Why? So you can give me some more excuses for you not coming home?”
You watched him grab a pot, opening the fridge.
“They wanted to smoke a blunt, and Kie didn’t want her parents’ house smelling like weed.”
It was technically the truth, only you didn’t specify who ‘they’ were. Rafe softly laughed to himself, but it was dry, lacking in humor. You watched him place a pack of hot dogs on the counter, filling the pot with water.
“Why should I believe you?”
His question came out quiet, and you swallowed when he glanced over his shoulder.
“You left your car and your phone at Kie’s,” he murmured, back facing you again. “Almost like you wanted me to believe you were somewhere you actually weren’t.”
You touched your forehead.
“That’s not what happened,” you whispered. “We were in a rush, and I wasn’t thinking.”
“Convenient,” you heard him drawl. “Just as convenient as you ‘knocking out pretty early’ the other week too when I went to Charlotte.”
Your heart dropped at that, and you pressed your lips together when Rafe fully turned around, leaning against the counter. He stared you down, and you frowned at him.
“I mean, what are the chances that you’ve done this twice, now?”
“Rafe-.”
“You see where my head is at though, right?” he wondered, gently touching his temple. “You see why I’m looking at my girlfriend and wondering if she’s actually a sneaky bitch.”
You flinched at the insult.
“…and what if it wasn’t even just you girls?”
“Rafe,” you started, stepping towards him.
“What if John B. and Pope were there? JJ?” he sneered, lip curling over his teeth. “What if you and your new little sidekick are lying to me?”
You took a deep breath.
“You don’t believe that,” you whispered. “…because if you did…”
You threw your hands up.
“We wouldn’t be standing here…talking…”
Rafe crossed his arms over his chest, lips downturned as he nodded. He stared at you for a nerve-wracking amount of time, blue eyes intense and unmoving. You didn’t know what he was thinking, and that always scared you more than knowing. When he let out a small sigh after some time, you didn’t allow yourself to feel relief just yet.
“Come here…”
Resisting the urge to hesitate, you did. There was no escaping whatever Rafe wanted to do, only prolonging it, and you expected a slap or a harsh tug on your arm or even a hand around your throat. You did not expect, however, his hand in your hair and another on the back of your neck. A pained gasp was all that escaped you, the events happening so fast that you only gathered your thoughts in time to press your hand into the counter.
Your face was hovering above the pot of boiling hot water, the steam and heat hitting your skin and making you wince. Your other hand came up on the other side, pressing into the stovetop, and Rafe only pressed down harder on your head. You cried out in pain as you fought to push against his hand, and Rafe only moved closer.
“Do you think I’m stupid?”
You squeezed your eyes shut, the heat making them water.
“It’s interesting how when I’m around or just around the corner, that phone of yours is glued to your hip…as it should be…”
He pushed your face further down, the sound of the bubbling water reaching your ears.
“…but the moment I give you an inch, the moment I try to be nice,” he hissed. “…all of a sudden you barely give it a second thought, and you just leave it wherever you told me you’d be.”
“Rafe,” you gasped, peeling your eyes open and staring into the hot water.
Your hand slid along the counter, hands clammy from fear and nerves.
“How fucking convenient,” he spat, pressing harder against the back of your head.
You could feel tears spilling over just as Wheezie’s voice reached your ears from the stairs. Rafe let you go, and you stumbled away from him, backing up into the fridge. Rafe’s entire visage was taut, eyes venomous and jaw ticking as he stared you down. Your eyes were wide, and you tearfully blinked, hurrying to wipe your face just as his youngest sister strode into the kitchen.
She scoffed.
“You’re not done with the hotdogs yet?” she practically whined. “You just put them in the water and boil them, Rafe.”
When he looked at her, his face softened some, and he chuckled.
“My bad, Wheezie,” he smiled. “Y/N keeps distracting me.”
They both looked at you, and you swallowed just as she sighed.
“He owes me hotdogs,” the younger girl told you. “You can have some too, but neither one of us will get any if he doesn’t actually cook them.”
She threw him a look to which he lightly laughed, turning back to the stove. You eyed the pot of hot water, pressing your nails into the counter as you cleared your throat.
“Sorry, Wheez,” you breathed. “I’ll try to keep him focused.”
Your voice was shaky, and when Rafe simply glanced at you, dropping the hotdogs in the water, you pressed your hand to your cheek, trying to cool your skin down.
You rinsed out your tub with trembling hands, watching the pink water swirl down the drain. You hadn’t stopped crying since last night, mostly quiet sniffles the moment Rafe rolled off of you, but you hadn’t been able to keep as quiet the moment he left this morning. With one look at the blood on your sheets, you wanted to throw up, but all you’d managed to do was break down.
You couldn’t take any more pain killers, so all that was left was a warm Epsom salt bath. It was far from relaxing, your sobs echoing around the bathroom as you scrubbed off semen and blood. One look in the mirror had you flinching, and you were never more grateful that your parents were out of town until Friday because you were sure this was the worst you’d ever looked. To make matters worse, you just knew the discoloration under your eye was only going to darken.
You tied your robe tight around you as you left your bathroom.
Only to stop short at the sight of JJ.
Your eyes were wide at the picture before you, the blond man standing in your bedroom. Your lips parted, and you opened and closed them, unsure of what to say or do. However, you quickly decided on something once you realized that he wasn’t even looking at you…but instead the sheets you hadn’t managed to pull off the bed.
“JJ…what…?”
You hurried across the room, throwing your comforter over your bed and facing him, gaze questioning. When his blue eye met yours, it wasn’t the warm welcome you were used to, and you hoped that he would ignore what he saw, but he didn’t. His eyes flitted over your face, drinking you in.
“What did he do to you?” he spat, teeth clenched.
You crossed your arms over your chest, looking around him and eyeing your open window.
“Did you break into my room?”
His expression didn’t change, and accepting that he was going to ignore your question until you answered his, you sighed.
“I don’t want to talk about that, JJ,” you whispered.
“Well, that’s too fucking bad,” he whispered back, moving closer. “…because you’re going to, or I’m telling Sarah.”
You blinked at him, disbelief filling you, and you scoffed. Shaking your head, you rolled your eyes towards the ceiling, falling to sit on the edge of your bed.
“What do you think happened?” you tearfully wondered, shrugging. “I screwed up…and I will be lucky if I can even go pee in a public restroom without him standing over my shoulder.”
Your lips trembled, and you looked away, tears falling. You could feel the blonde’s eyes on you, and you wiped your face.
“What are you doing here, JJ?” you asked in a small voice.
The other guy moved closer, looking down at you, and you swallowed under his scrutiny.
“After the other night and yesterday morning, I had… I had to make sure that…”
He trailed off, no point in finishing because it was visibly obvious that you weren’t okay.
“I saw when you both came home last night, and I climbed up as soon as he left this morning,” he continued. “I really wanted you to be okay.”
His tone sounded defeated, and you wiped your face again. When he touched your face, you winced, and you didn’t miss the way his nostrils flared. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into his hand, eyes falling closed when his other hand gently found a home on the back of your head, pushing you to rest your forehead against his torso.
“Where is he?” he asked, voice hard.
“He went to the club with Kelce and Topper,” you murmured. “He’ll be calling every hour or so.”
The ‘or so’ was to keep you on your toes. It was late into the night when he drove you to Kie’s, closely hovering as you got both your phone and your car, truck tailgating you the entire drive home. The moment you’d made it inside of your house, you’d been pushed onto the floor. What commenced was just a blur of harsh kicks and harsh words, and a manhandled journey up the stairs.
The moment Rafe got you into your room, he’d wasted no time in tearing at every article of clothing you had on. Every action—every thrust—was done with the sole purpose to punish you. You hadn’t meant to scream—you rarely did anymore—but it had just hurt so bad that you couldn’t help it. When JJ pulled you to your feet, you curiously eyed him.
He said nothing to you as he pulled your sheets off of your bed, throwing them into a pile on the floor. The look he gave you held a silent question, and you pointed to your closet. You wrapped your arms around yourself as he grabbed a clean set, fixing them on your bed for you, and you felt your throat tighten.
“JJ, you don’t have to…”
You trailed off when he looked over his shoulder at you before continuing the task. When he was done, he moved closer to you, gently taking your arms. He stared at your face with a frown before exhaling.
“You not wanting me to tell Sarah or anyone about this is crazy,” he forced out, jaw ticking. “…but I get it, now. I understand that he’ll…”
JJ took a deep breath.
“I get what’s at stake,” he whispered, eyes looking between yours. “…but you can’t tell me to sit back and do nothing. That’s the tradeoff. You want me to keep quiet, then you let me be here for you.”
You understood where JJ was coming from, and you looked down. Asking JJ to keep quiet about Rafe’s abusive nature was asking a lot, and expecting the younger blond not to worry or help or be there for you in whatever way was asking for even more. It wasn’t really fair, and you reluctantly nodded.
You sat back down on your bed when he left your bedroom, and your mind spun over the predicament you found yourself in. Did…did you have two boyfriends? Is that what JJ was? Or was he simply the guy who treated you well and snuck into your bedroom and kissed you sometimes? It wasn’t right, but then again, the whole situation wasn’t right.
No, you shouldn’t be cheating on Rafe, but Rafe also shouldn’t be hitting you and raping you and hurting you in whatever manner he could whenever he wanted. JJ treated you good, proven in the way he returned upstairs with something cold he’d found in your freezer. His gaze was apologetic as he gently pressed it to your face, and you were unable to stop yourself from wincing.
When JJ sat down next to you, he tugged on you until you were lying down in his lap, looking up at him as he gazed down at you. His free arm made itself comfortable around your waist, and you reached down to cover his hand with yours. You were so used to Rafe’s treatment that you paid no mind to the dull ache between your legs, just thinking about when JJ kissed you again the other night.
It was the last thing that needed to be on your mind, and you closed your eyes.
“You can’t stay long, JJ,” you murmured.
You heard him sigh, although it sounded more like a huff.
“Yeah, I know.”
You felt your eyes burn.
“I don’t think I’ll be going to The Cut again,” you said. “I kind of ruined that.”
You felt and heard JJ lean down, and when his lips brushed over your swollen ones, you opened your eyes. When he pulled away, the blond held your gaze, expression thoughtful.
“That’s okay,” he eventually said. “You don’t have to to see them. We’ll find a way, and…”
He took your hand with his free one.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered to you. “You know exactly where to find me.”
Your chest felt warm at that, and you found yourself eyeing his lips. When he leaned down again, you closed your eyes, ignoring how conflicted you felt. You couldn’t go on like this forever, but JJ and his possible place in your future wasn’t something you wanted to think about. In the moment, after being brutally raped by your boyfriend, you just wanted to feel good.
It is so sad to see a lot of writers experiencing burn out at the moment.
We create and create and create trying to keep up with our own demands or pressure from readers but no one can leave comments or reblogs. Smdh.
Don't matter if the fic is "old", or hasn't been updated, or already has 50 comments, or you feel silly, leave one. Reblog. How did you find the post in the first place? Someone you know reblogged it.
Leave comments. "Enjoyed this, this was great, omg my chest, *long analysis*, whatever. Fandom is a community and it thrives on sharing ideas. Instead of taking your thoughts to the group chat, comment under the fic! Have discussions under the fic! Stop excluding the author from being able to engage in this labor or love they produced.
your fic is shorter day by day, could u make an effort for it not just writing little paragraph
Hey but I don’t write fics I write blurbs from the anons requests, if you actually went on my masterlist and went through all of them they’re all kind of the same length except for a few. Maybe in the future I will start to write fics but I won’t right now.
Hope this cleared a few things up x