I’m Conflicted Both Of These Men Have My Heart… The Man In The Second Picture Has Broken My Heart

I’m conflicted both of these men have my heart… the man in the second picture has broken my heart so many times I’ve lost count. I started to believe I was the issue. In all reality he introduced me to things I knew better than to do but did anyway and because of that everyone I thought I’ve loved over the span of my life time has abandoned me. I’ve lost my relationship with my kids father. I am being dealt what karma has had in store for me for some time now.

In all honesty I deserve to suffer for the wrongs Ive done to the one person who stuck it out with me at every turn, tried to push me to do better and love me almost unconditionally.

The man in the first picture is separated from his old lady baby mama. He wants us to be a polyamorous relationship but his ex isn’t going for that she knows she can’t compete where she doesn’t compare. If he gets to have both she knows she’s see him a lot less than normal. I can’t say I see something long term with him because he’s so stuck on this old lady. He has a very strong attachment to his daughter which I love but after hearing him talk about her so much I’m kinda over it. I feel like when my kids come over they don’t get the same treatment that his daughter does and that’s okay because our relationship is strictly sex atm so my kids shouldn’t even be involved but they are. There are times durning the weekend were I need a break from my house and I’ll go to his with my kiddos. I feel like he finds my kids annoying. Huge red flag for me. He is a good lay though.