Dying Awakens The Memories Of Us

dying awakens the memories of us

I yearn for you on my cruelest days

Your absence feels heavier when I tear my skin apart

Every droplet of blood is a reminder of what I once had

Every scar an evidence of what once hurt me

The aching in my skin almost feels like your arms wrapped around my fragile body

The most comforting yet bitterest touch to ever exist

How could you harm me if I was once so dearest?

I ask as I stare into the mirror to repeat the question to the lifeless reflection glaring back at me

I ache for you when I starve my malnourished body once again

The void in my stomach reminds me of your empty promises

My soul and corpse screaming with the desire to finally let death take me

You were what once kept me alive

Yet you killed me curler than I ever could

I crave your presence as poison fills my lungs

Carrying your addiction like a family tradition

I’ll mourn you with every hit, every drink and every pill I swallow

The high wears off but you’re still gone

No amount of drugs could ever hide your thundering absence anyways

I mourn you the most when I’m destroying myself, inheriting what you did to me

But I lived and thrived in it

You slowly killed me but in the end, that’s what’s kept me alive

I associate you with pain and blood cause that’s where we met and where you kept me

The hurt is all I’ve ever known but with you, I bleed the merriest.

-just wrote my first poem in a long time, trying to get back into writing. what do you think?? x

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