He Is Smiling Because He Got A Cool New Hat

if i see a group of men laughing i just know its not funny

r/stupiddovenests features so many mourning doves which is insane to me i didnt know they were so bad at this. always thought the bad nests was a feral pigeon thing

There's not a single "lifestyle" you can live that will make you immune to ill health. Stop using "lifestyle" as an excuse for bigotry.

i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named "captain hook". hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like "you. it's always been you. ever since you were born i've known we were meant to be" captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don't WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!

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i like how american stores sell pickles suspended in their special nutrient fluid like mech pilots

they need to invent a skin that doesn't itch all the fucking time

searching for that fine line between “i need to stay informed” and “i can’t take any more of this.”

just got fired from my job reading erotic fiction for audiobooks because i kept pronouncing “penetrates” like it was a greek philosopher

Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you?