Meltinglow - I Want More Out Of Life Than This
More Posts from Meltinglow and Others
The Sacrifice (1986) dir. Andrei Tarkovsky
offkuts all tied up in bows skirt ౨ৎ
the only thing more embarrassing than cringy poetry is being so afraid of feeling embarrassed that you don't even try to make anything at all
the vocabulary of loss is the dictionary
Takahito Yamanoue: A Timeless Life (1994)
FALLEN ANGELS ‘墮落天使’ dir. Wong Kar-wai
Gaspar Noe's Love, 2015. Final ending scenes
fuck
i feel like i don't really know what love is
like all the time i searched for it and craved it in every girl that was nice to me or even wasn't but now after i watched this movie i don't think i know what love means. it seems so unconditional and pure and i always thought that i know what love is and what it feels like and that i've been in love with people even if they didn't share the same. i look at my brother and his girlfriend and i see such purity and unconditional love in their eyes. but when i think back i don't know if i ever really felt that for a person. all the "love" i felt for people always had a mildy fear of pain. the fear that they don't love me back and if i act like that now that they won't like me anymore and i lose them. and in fact it mostly ended like that everytime. people get so sick of me and seem to forgot me quickly that i already had forgotten me. i think love will come but i don't know if i'm capable to really feel it or if i'm really getting irritated then. love is such a complex emotion. i always thought i had it but now i don't know if my feelings will ever got over the "you're my crush please notice me" phase. or is this already the love everyone is talking about because it sure doesn't feel like it.
actually i should go to sleep i'm really tired and i propably just think to much into it right now and tomorrow i will wake up and think what have i written yesterday? and the thought will fade away like real love does
or does it?
3:41 AM
— Clarice Lispector, from “The Hour of the Star.”
