I Love R/seattle Subreddit . This Is Fucking Crazy Please Read This Please Please Please

The neurodivergent urge to do this

if im being totally honest, the biggest reason I wish people on this website had paid more attention in english class and had reading comprehension is so that they would understand when and why jokes are funny. Maybe if y'all understood that a line like "None of these words are in the bible" is only funny because its totally unexpected. Or maybe if y'all understood how to construct jokes for yourself, we wouldn't have so many comments like "OP check your carbon monoxide detector" because you'd ALSO know how to build a joke. but anyways its the weekend so im fine about this. I'm normal about this. im NOT bothered.

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

🎰 • 📜 • 👑 • 🎲 • 🔥

“Pharoah’s fire”

white pharoah meme stimboard

(this is a joke)

i hate whenever theres a paladin/knight/generally gruff protector-type character in an alternate or historical time period, and when theyre adapted to the modern day or theres a popular modern AU headcanon theyre ALWAYS a cop. you fools. you fucking fools. a good aligned paladin wouldnt be a cop they would be a drug sponsor. a domestic cleaner. a child support worker. a sanitation worker. its not about cutting people in half with a zweihander its about serving the goddamn community

this will never not be funny to me

Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.

hwat is the difference between witch and wizard? surely it cant be gender... what is your thinking oh evil one? what makes you a wizard?

if the universe is an ocean, magic is like the tides. witches, being wise, sail in the direction the tide is flowing—wizards, being far too clever to be wise, sail directly against the tide; just to see what happens