In a day that is so hot and sunny---a day in summer.... Children get to go out and play, Dogs get to go on short walks, and I get to stay at home and study physics. đ«€đ
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned âforeverâ into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like⊠if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, itâs a âfailedâ business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you donât actually want to keep doing that, youâre a âfailedâ writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, itâs a âfailedâ marriage.
The only acceptable âwin conditionâ is âyou keep doing that thing foreverâ. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a ârealâ friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a âphaseâ - or, alternatively, a âpityâ that you donât do that thing any more. A fandom is âdyingâ because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And itâs okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success⊠I donât think thatâs doing us any good at all.
I am happy and lazy most days. Less sad days but when day come , they are here to stay longer. Recently I have been wondering if my sad days are meant to last
I get really quiet, when my mind is too loud.
The scariest thing for me right now is that , I'll lag behind my friends or even my own expectations. I don't know how to equip myself resilience. I have a fear that it won't work out or won't be enough, I wouldn't be enough.
Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.
one day I woke up and realised all the waiting and yearning was actually me living my life and itâs happening right now and itâs still good even if itâs not perfect and there is no moment when all your dreams get fulfilled and everything makes sense. like⊠this is it. this is life. youâll waste away your youth waiting for some imagined future if you donât love life for what it is now and make the most of it