Latest Posts by moon-ttokki-x - Page 3

minty - bf!han jisung x female reader

pairing: han jisung x female reader

summary: when everything bursts into flames, there will always be someone to put it out.

genre: fluff, idol! au, heavy on the angst, panic attack, sensory overload, anger outburst out of frustration, negative thoughts, inferiority complex, feeling left behind. this one is a little sadder, not my usual writing, so read ahead at your own risk.

a/n: kinda having a bad time rn so i wrote this. also my masterlist just deadass stopped working so i have to remake it TT new masterlist will be up soon don't panic guys

You're laying on the floor face-down when Jisung comes home from the company.

He enters your shared bedroom, humming a new unreleased track, and finds you near to the floor-to-ceiling window, curled up in a ball. Your jacket is tossed somewhere behind you and you're not even aware that Jisung is home until he bends down and taps your shoulder.

"Jagi," he says, smiling in greeting.

You don't turn. Your head feels like it's made of lead and you can't seem to find the energy to even twitch a finger. And you feel bad because you know Jisung is tired too, and here you are, ignoring him because you're selfish and lazy and not good enough for anything-

"Y/n," Jisung says again, a little softer.

You do turn your head then. It's not much of a turn, to be honest; more like a slow, sluggish effort to move your head to the right. Your look over your shoulder and he's sitting there, knees to his chest, smiling down at you.

His headphones are slung around his neck as per usual, the headphone cord wrapped loosely around his wrist. His blue hair is flopping attractively into his eyes and the neckline of his band shirt slips a little to the left, revealing a sliver of collarbone.

Some of the skin there is slightly red, and you know it's because he probably worked out his shoulders and torso before coming back home.

You feel even worse at the thought of him working out; why can't you be the same? Why can't you just get up and be productive and multitask and live a good life and be happy like everyone else? Like him? Was that sort of thing not meant for you? Success and friendships and contentment and normalcy?

Because here is Jisung, so many achievements under his belt, so many talents and aspirations and thoughts and dreams, and there you are behind him, struggling to keep up with even the simplest of tasks in your own life.

And it's not just him; lately it feels like everyone else is sprinting ahead, while you're lagging behind, confused. Winded. Out of breath.

Losing energy.

It feels the same even now. Usually making eye contact and being close to Jisung fills you with strength, but today it seems even he can't wash away your thoughts. You wonder how bad it can be if even Jisung, your number one supporter, can't seem to even slightly unclasp the boulder shackles from around your ankles.

And the yet-again nagging thought of always being left behind culminates the peak of your bottled desperation.

And everything is Wrong.

The floor feels rough and uncomfortable all of a sudden, grating against your skin, scratching at the pores, and your clothes are too tight and restricting, digging into the soft curves and peaks of your figure, tightening around you like a python winds about its prey.

Jisung is still sitting there next to you; he must have realised you didn't feel like talking. He's staring out the window, still singing softly to the track, gaze unfocused but content. He understands; he has days like yours too. But right now it feels different, and suddenly you want nothing more than for him to just leave. To just go.

And that thought makes you feel awful.

You feel all hot and irritated like you've been put into an oven on high heat, and you rake a hand through the limp strands of your hair, the tickling flyaways suddenly causing a sudden surge of boiling hot frustration to pour through your veins.

Everything goes up in flames and before you know it, you're shoving Jisung's hand away and storming into the living room, throwing yourself down on the couch and then violently tossing yourself about because even touching the couch feels Wrong too. The leather sticks to your skin and the shuffling sounds are too noisy and sound more like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.

You let out a half-hearted scream and even that feels pathetic. Like you've tried to blow a whistle and all that came out was a sad little wheeze. The noise floats into the air and absorbs into the stillness. You want to scream again but it won't help; no matter how much noise you make, it will never be enough to quiet the wildfires searing across your nerves and seemingly into the core of your brain.

But the flames begin to sizzle, and like all fires do, it begins to die down.

You're left in the smoldering aftermath; the human form of it, anyway, which consists of sobbing like a child face-down in the couch, your body draped uncomfortably across the lounge.

It's almost an hour before Jisung tiptoes into the living room; he peeks over the back of the couch before cautiously moving to sit in front of you, about a metre away. And it's not that he's afraid of your sudden outburst, no, not at all. He knows not to touch you for now, to keep a distance, so as not to trigger you further.

He's silent for a moment; you miserably raise your head, a picture of defeat, eyes puffy and red with tears. You sniff and scrub at your face, wanting to get rid of the Feeling, the one that makes your jaw feel all sour and your head dizzy, the way it always feels after you cry.

Jisung chides you softly, gently reaching out to smooth a singular finger over the irritation you've caused across the delicate skin of your cheekbones. He's testing the water, so when nothing bursts out to bite his hand off, and the temperature seems reasonably cool, he moves just a little closer and gently pats your shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he says softly, almost inaudibly.

"Everything," you sob, the sound causing a terrible racking pain through Jisung's chest. It sounds so hollow, so lonely and desperate.

And yet so filled with hope, but hope that is slowly dying, losing its intensity, like you know in your heart that utilizing it won't really help anything. At least not anymore.

You don't expect Jisung to understand. How could he ever, when the terrible, tumultuous storm of horrible thoughts and feelings in your head is making it hard to understand yourself in the first place?

And you're right. Jisung doesn't understand. He looks bewildered but also empathetic. He looks the way people look when they sort of expect something to happen but it still shocks them when it does.

So he sits, not understanding but also knowing, and strokes your shoulder, keeping the rhythm of it, smooth and constant and flowing, dousing the flames, ever so slowly.

And you can't even try to explain how you feel, or what's wrong, and you can't even find it in yourself to apologise for so violently bursting out at him, but the look in Jisung's eyes tell you that no words are necessary. Not from you anyway.

"I love you," he says quietly after a while, still soft, still a little bit bewildered. But there is no doubt in his words.

And a weak, watery smile manages to tug at the corners of your mouth. At least you think it does; in reality, your face doesn't move an inch, still drawn tensely in rife and despair. But something in your eyes shifts slightly and Jisung knows you well enough to know what that shift means.

The searing flames die down completely, the ash rising and dissipating into a quiet, still, air, and when Jisung draws his hand back, his fingers are stained in still-warm charcoal.

You look at him, still heaving and exhausted; he smiles a tiny bit, like he's not sure whether it might set you off again or make you feel worse. But he does anyway, and the air begins to feel a lot cooler around you as he speaks.

"I brought you something from the company," he whispers, his fingers dancing along the thick seams of the leather couch.

You blink once, slowly, the movement taking a ridiculous amount of energy, which has dwindled to its last stores.

Jisung smiles, almost uncharacteristically shyly, and draws a little rectangular tin out of his dark, worn jeans. He lifts it to your eye level and holds it out on his palm.

On closer inspection, you see it's a little container, the plastic dyed a cool blue-green. There's a small flap on the top for flicking open and dispensing what looks like little sweets.

"Peppermints," Jisung says softly, a little shyly. "They help me when I feel all shaky and irritable. Chan-hyung keeps a pack in his bag for me too, just in case I start feeling anxious at events or concerts... maybe it'll help you too."

You sniff and let him put one of the mints on your palm. You lift it to your mouth and the sensation is immediately refreshing, a growing, almost cool-burn that seems to ease the aching tension that's set itself into your muscles.

It tastes slightly salty from the sweat on your palms, but it disappears as you roll it over your tongue. You exhale a tense breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

You blink again, even slower, hoping that Jisung knows it means thankyou. And he seems to understand, because he tips the container up a little, taking one of the mints himself with a grin.

a/n: hello yes i would like to order one jisung please

yang jeongin - skz fluff headcanons

pairing: yang jeongin x reader

summary: innie headcanons

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, general fluff headcanons, maknae shenanigans

a/n: i haven't written stuff in a while tbh but anyways. thank you for 200 everyone !!

skz masterlist

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

a/n: divider by @cafekitsune

good thing he didn't overreact...

batter up - kim seungmin

pairing: baseball captain! kim seungmin x baseball player! reader

summary: you're struggling with baseball practice until a certain captain steps in to help (or make fun of you. whichever way you wanna see it.)

genre: fluff, college baseball team! au, dry humour seungmin, baseball duh

a/n: seungmin please i need more baseball content... divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

The baseball hits the chain-link fence with a reverberating clang.

You groan and throw your glove down, stomping one foot in frustration. It's childish and dumb, but it helps to dissipate some of the growing irritation building in your gut.

This is stupid.

Surely someone with your skill set should be able to throw a baseball in the right direction. And normally, you would be able to. But for some reason, the throws from the last few weeks have been violently misguided and your usually-accurate hand has somehow forgotten to catch a baseball, let alone throw it correctly.

You sigh and take another from the ball cart; lifting your left knee, you turn before pegging the ball with a grunt at the batter's base. It flies off-target and instead pummels into the ground, to the left of the base. A cloud of dust rises in its wake.

You sigh and take another ball, picking up a stand and setting it up at the batter's base. Adjusting the height, you place the ball on the small cup at the top and position yourself, raising the bat over your shoulder.

Swinging with full force, you bring the bat across yourself and whoosh past the ball, missing it completely. It shifts a little on the stand and you sigh before trying again.

Whoosh. Another miss.

Whoosh. And another.

"Shit," you curse, adjusting your hold on the bat. The grip-wrapped metal is slippery and beginning to warm under your fingers, the rough tape sanding against your palms.

You bring the bat down in a knowingly hopeless, half-baked attempt of effort, hoping to at least knock the ball a few metres away. But when you bring your hands down, the bat is no longer within them.

Blinking at your hands in confusion, you turn and see it suspended above your head, the metal tip several inches from your forehead. Behind it is a snickering grin.

Kim Seungmin.

He'd caught the bat from your grip before you swung. A sudden thought flashes through your mind; had he been watching? All that time, seeing all those miserable fails...

You scowl and snatch the bat off him, almost hyperextending your wrist in the process, because he doesn't let go. You tug on it and he does, and you stumble back a little before glaring at him.

"Shouldn't stand near the batter," you huff at him. "S' dangerous."

"I know," Seungmin replies, not missing a beat. "Should've put that much effort into your swing at last week's game."

You mimic his voice in a whiny, teasing lilt and toss the bat down with a thud into the dusty dirt, your back to him.

"Whatever, Seungmin," you scowl. "I was trying, you know."

"Didn't seem like it. And it's Captain to you."

You throw your hands up, turning to face him. "Play at baseball Captain all you want, but you're not any good at it. Good captains try to help their teammates instead of cutting them down."

Your sharp tone does nothing to intimidate Seungmin, because he crouches to pick up the bat, nudging you aside with it. Huffing, you let him.

Seungmin lines himself up at the base, swinging effortlessly with the bat and sending the still-stationary baseball into the sky. It disappears momentarily and then lands somewhere beyond the fence with a distant, faint thud.

"There," he says dryly, turning to you. "Like that."

You snatch the bat from him, packing as much sarcasm into your words as humanly possible. "And how exactly do I swing like that, oh great Captain Seungmin?" You point the bat at him.

He looks at you for a moment.

Then he grabs the end of the metal bat and tugs, hard. Quite sharply. Since you're still gripping it, you stumble forward, almost into his chest. Your nose brushes his collar as he pushes your shoulder forward, guiding the bat above your head.

Your back is to his chest now, and Seungmin leans down to align his eyesight with yours, levelling his view.

"See that?" He says quietly. He raises a hand, the one not occupied with maintaining your grip on the bat, and points to somewhere in the sky. "Aim there."

You scoff. "I can't hit that high."

Seungmin exhales, a puff of breath stirring the hair by your ear. "You're not trying to hit high. You're trying to hit far. And when you swing, level your grip as the bat comes down. More stable that way."

He says this as his hand places itself over yours, squeezing lightly to firm your grip on the bat. He shifts your hand a little lower and then points again to the sky.

"Right there, okay?"

"Okay," you whisper. He's standing so close.

You level your grip just a tiny bit under Seungmin's hand, suddenly afraid he might take it away from its current position on top of yours, but he doesn't. His hand remains there, oddly comforting. You adjust your fingers a little more, and the bat begins to feel a lot more steady under your shared palms.

"Good," he murmurs. "Just like that."

Seungmin steps back suddenly, backing up a few paces and positioning himself where he can't possibly be hit by the bat if you let go. You glance at him and then at the ball, blinking. He must have put another on the stand while you were busy huffing at his earlier blatancy.

You exhale and then swing, adjusting your hands as the bat comes down. To your tremendous surprise, the ball knocks off the stand with a cling and goes flying into the sky, disappearing. It comes down to the earth somewhere just beyond the fence.

You drop the bat and gape at Seungmin in disbelief.

He looks very self-satisfied; his usual I-told-you-so look is painting the expanse of his face, but there's something warm about it. Like he's proud. Knowing him, he's probably just glad you won't disadvantage the team in future games with your haphazard batting, but you appreciate it all the same.

He stares back for a few seconds, his blue team jersey fluttering in the wind. Yours does the same, but it's disheveled and tucked at the waist where you've been swinging and pitching.

Neither of you move. Then seemingly regaining his bearings, Seungmin flits his gaze away and waves a dismissive hand, his snarky demeanour returning.

"Finally," he drawls sarcastically, though it's a tiny bit less confident than before. "You learned how to swing a bat properly. Congratulations."

You offer a kind middle finger in response, and a sudden, unexpected grin bubbles out of you, a slight laugh escaping your mouth. Seungmin graces you with the tiniest presence of a smile. He checks his watch before waving you off.

"Practice tomorrow, don't forget." He calls bluntly over his shoulder, walking past you and off the pitch. Most likely heading to his dorm room.

You nod and pick up the bat, intending to get a couple more hits in before you pack up for the night. A blush tints your cheeks, your hands buzzing from the brief contact. You feel all floaty and optimistic.

Back in the safety of his own dorm room, Seungmin stands facing himself in the mirror, feeling the exact same way.

a/n: *as we are playing in the distance*

CHANGBIN & HAN for DAZED Korea Edited, Re-coloured, Re-touched, Manipulated

Hi hi! So I’ve like been seeing edits of this one Chan look

Just image your like yapping about how annoying it is and you say something that really gets him into “watch your tone” type mode and gives you this look!

Like agghh I was wondering if I could make this a request. You make it however you like but this is just so like ahhhh.

Love you babes!

-haeso🐨

omg the LOOK... fr send me edits of this chan bc i cant find them anywhere TT

make me - bang chan

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: you pull a prank on chan with minsung and seungmin

genre: crack, idol! au, kind of suggestive ngl but nothing risky lol

a/n: yall are gonna have to use your imaginations for this bc i aint writing anything 18+ it's too cringy for me TT dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

"Y/n, have you heard of that one TikTok prank?"

You look up to where Jisung is splayed over Jeongin's lap, his wide boba eyes blinking up at you from his odd position. Jeongin doesn't look particularly happy with the position and shoves his hyung off, muttering something about a dance practice, then leaves.

Jisung lands on the studio floor with an oof and takes up a new position on Minho's lap, seemingly unfazed. He blinks like nothing happened, the conversation apparently continuing.

You tilt your head at him. "What prank?"

Jisung grins as Minho wraps his arms around his tiny waist. "The one where you purposely piss off your partner by talking smack and then film their reaction."

You shake your head, laughing. "Nope. Seen others like that though."

Minho peeks out from behind Jisung. "You should try it on Chan-hyung. It'd be funny."

You shake your head, rolling your eyes. "He won't fall for that. He's already too used to Felix being chronically online. He'll know if I try to prank him with something I saw on Tiktok."

Jisung whines and shifts off Minho's lap, kneeing him in the process. He flops down next to you, ignoring Minho's groans of pain, and pulls out his phone to show you a video.

"So basically, all you have to do is rile him up and then we'll film him," Jisung grins.

You deadpan. "Then Seungmin will be begging me for blackmail material. He's annoying when he wants something."

"Fine," he groans. "We'll just spectate."

Minho, who has recovered from Jisung's unintended attack, looks up from the floor with a pained grin. "You're gonna do it then?"

You nod and Jisung whoops loudly.

✧

The whole thing turns out quite well, it happens, as there's a whole group dance practice at the end of the day. Most of the boys are sweaty and tired within the first few minutes, with the exception of Minho, with his main dancer core, and Hyunjin, who has had too much caffeine.

You watch from the sidelines, taking note of Chan's current mood and assessing whether it'd be wise to prank him; you don't want to catch him at a bad time, since he's usually stressed. But today, he seems a little more relaxed, dancing smoothly, with his voice soft and quiet, though still authoritative. The members seem more relaxed too because of it.

Jisung makes eye contact with you halfway through the dance, his arms up as he turns to the left. A devilish grin paints his face for a split second and you nod subtly. He slips up on purpose and Minho pretends to scold him, telling everything to take five.

Minho turns away and mouths something to you.

Now's your chance.

You casually walk over to where Chan is, touching his arm as he takes a swig of water from his water bottle. He smiles at you before kissing your cheek, and you almost feel bad for what you'd about to do. But you're curious too, about what his reaction will be like, so you keep on track.

Minho, Jisung, and Seungmin all walk up too. They must have told Seungmin about the prank, because he's clearly interested, though it's carefully hidden behind a straight face. Minho is the same, though Jisung is clearly struggling to keep a poker face.

"Hey, love," Chan smiles at you. "Anything you noticed during practice?"

You shake your head. "It all looks great at the moment, I think. Very energetic."

Chan raises an eyebrow. "Nothing at all? Usually there's at least one thing you say that we could all do better."

You whine a little, smiling. Trying to rile him up, make him huff a little. "Why is it my job and not yours, Channie? You're the leader, not me."

"Because," he says, matter-of-factly, "It's easier for you to notice where we're going wrong, because you're watching. It's harder to notice when you're dancing and moving. You can miss things."

You keep smiling and nod in response. He's not being rude, just telling you how it is. That's Chan for you.

Your mind is whirring, trying to think. He doesn't miss a beat, your Chan. It's difficult to piss him off or even argue with him. Of course, if you were one of the boys, it'd be easier. But Chan talks to you on a 300% softness setting, and apparently it's permanent.

"Well," you say slowly, pretending to think. "Maybe those last few moves, the turning ones? You could have done them better."

Chan tilts his head, seeking feedback. Even though you're not a dancer, he likes seeing it from your perspective. "How so?"

It takes all your effort not to burst out giggling. "Maybe you should copy Minho's dance moves more often. And actually listen to him."

Chan's eyebrow shoots up into his hairline. Minho simply looks at his leader, Seungmin doing the same. Jisung is clearly struggling to contain his laughter, and for a second you worry he might give the prank away. But it's Jisung, so no one bats an eye, least of all Chan.

His voice is a little lower, though still playful. "Are you suggesting I don't listen to him?"

You shrug nonchalantly. "I mean, if you had, you'd be as good as him. But you're not, soo..."

You can see the glint in Chan's eyes. Something swells in your chest, a tidal wave of mischief.

It's working.

"Yeah, hyung," Seungmin adds flatly, his face expressionless. "Listen to Y/n. Maybe if you'd taken her advice to begin with, you'd be main dancer. Must be a shame to be outdone by someone younger."

Jisung loses it then, the studio reverberating with his laughter, and even Minho cracks a tiny grin. Chan, however, is unamused.

Trust Seungmin to piss him off, you scoff internally. Probably why they brought him over here.

Chan says something in Korean then, which you can't understand, and Seungmin immediately leaves, walking away with a smirk. Jisung shuts up too. Must have been a threat.

He turns to you and you almost shrink under his gaze. It's dark and challenging.

"Continue, sweetheart," he drawls, leaning one muscled arm on the long cabinet against the wall.

Minho and Jisung are quiet.

"I-I wasn't saying anything wrong," you stutter suddenly, cheeks pooling with colour.

Chan tilts his head again, slightly raising one eyebrow.

You muster up all your confidence then, feigning nonchalance as best you can. "You'd be a better dancer if you spent more time practicing than shouting at everyone to get their shit together."

You see Minho and Jisung shoot wary glances at each other and you know immediately that you've crossed a line. An unspoken apology and several pleading phrases hang on the tip of your tongue, but your eyes flit to Chan's, waiting for his reaction.

His eyes are narrowed, head tilted, half a smile hanging off his lips. It's terrifying and hot and also scary at the same time. You try your best not to shrink under the intimidating look but it's like his gaze is a laser directed straight at your face.

You can't look away.

Chan steps closer and leans in slightly, his voice dangerously low. You can almost hear the smirk in his tone. "Take that back, sweetheart. Right now."

You fight against every survival instinct you have and keep your mouth pressed shut.

Chan asks one more time, his voice ever lower, and you spit out two words.

"Make me."

Chan's eyes flash with the challenge and he lets out a little, dark laugh. Minho, meanwhile, has a hand up against Jisung's face, most likely in preparation to quickly cover his younger member's eyes if something Chan making you take it back in front of everyone happens.

Chan doesn't even have to look at Minho and Jisung; he waves them off with two fingers, his gaze never leaving yours. You're stuck in position like prey being circled by a predator, waiting for the moment you'll be struck.

"What do you think he's saying to her?" Jisung whispers as he crosses the room with Minho.

He shrugs in response, a shit-eating grin on his face as he sits down, leaning against the floor-to-ceiling mirror. "Dunno. Probably something risqué."

"Minho," Jisung slaps his arm, a hushed laugh escaping his mouth. "You can't say stuff like that."

"What?" he protests. "Technically, it's all your fault because you put Y/n up to it."

"Aw, hyung," Jisung whines. "You agreed too. Should we confess and tell Chan-hyung it was a prank?"

"Nah. I mean, we could, but only if you admit it was your idea."

"That's the highest form of betrayal-"

"CHAN-HYUNG!" Minho suddenly shouts to him from their position on the opposite side of the room. Every head in the room turns towards them, including yours. "IT WAS ALL JISUNG'S IDEA-"

Jisung claps a hand over his friend's mouth, frantically attempting to muffle him. "Minho, shut up! You traitor!"

You take the opportunity to escape, ducking behind Seungmin. He's the only member not afraid of his leader, and both of you watch as Chan apparently forgets about you, instead stalking towards Minho, who is sitting eloquently unfazed against the mirror, and Jisung, who is frantically spewing apologies and pleading phrases, clutching to his friend's arm, eyes wide.

Seungmin lets out a laugh as you watch, poking you hard in the side. He raises his eyebrows suggestively. "Might as well escape before Chan remembers he has to make you take it back."

"CHANNIE!" You shout. "IT WAS SEUNGMIN'S IDEA-"

"Shut it!"

a/n: i know exactly what was going through yalls minds 📸

hi~ would love to request from the prompt list!!

46 + 49 with bangchan seems interesting :D

hihi, sorry for the delay lol TT producer!chan now joins the fic library alongside producer!jisung. i felt like writing something with most of skz bc i think it makes it more fun :] here you gooooo

electrifying - bang chan

pairing: bang chan x producer!reader

summary: a late night with chan in the studio leads to a little more.

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, kind of crack tbh, most of skz is in this fic, hyunlix honourable mention, mutual pining

a/n: producer chan save me. divider by @veonaa

⛓️ prompts: 46. "What if I told you I knew?" / 49. "I have a confession to make."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

"Try one more time," you suggest quietly. "Just the last two lines then we'll move to the pre-chorus."

Minho nods from the recording booth, slipping one headphone back over his ear. He nails it and you replay back the recording, looking to Chan to verify that it's okay.

He's writing down a couple of notes on his lyric sheet, a thin pencil held between his fingers. Looking up, he nods, before his gaze flits to yours and then back again to Minho, who is waiting quietly in the recording booth. You compliment him and give him a sunny smile as he exits the booth.

The process continues with most of the other members; Jeongin and Changbin have already finished recording their parts since they came in early. Seungmin's part takes a little longer, so you and Chan do him next, trying to work productively.

The night ends up running quite late; most of the boys are beginning to get bored, and Chan had initially suggested a group meeting at the end of the session, but after several antics begin to disrupt the process, he dismisses them with a weary sigh.

Hyunjin practically flies out the door, Felix following him with a smile to the dance studio, and the other boys begin to dissipate, thanking you quietly before heading home for the night.

You try not to laugh as you save Seungmin's recording on a file. "Thank you, Seungminnie. You can go."

He nods and thanks you politely before turning to leave. Now it's just you and Chan, who has yet to record his lines. Unlike most of the other boys, Chan's part takes unusually long. He fixes his voice on one line but messes it up on another, dragging out certain words and furrowing his brow.

"Chan, you okay? We can call it a night if you want."

He looks at you through the glass, seemingly surprised. "Yeah, I'm alright, why?"

You set your headphones down. "It's just that it's quite late, and you might do better tomorrow with some rest? You look exhausted."

Chan sighs and nods. Whatever is on his mind, it's clearly bothering him, and you glance sideways at him as he sits back down next to you at the recording table. All is silent as both of you relapse into editing the recordings at your own individual paces.

But you're not so much focusing on the recordings as focusing on your fellow producer. You fight not to look across at him, knowing it'll be obvious, and turn yourself a little away from him in order to not be distracted. You do it subtly, so that Chan doesn't notice, and it works a trick, because half an hour passes and you've almost finished editing the recordings and checking the backing track.

Neither of you have said a word, a comforting silence descending over the studio. Maybe because it's night time and the usual noises from outside the door are beginning to quiet, or maybe it's because Chan is here, bringing with him a sort of safe serenity that you only really feel when he's around.

You lean back in your chair and make to grab a notebook from behind you on the lower table, sneaking a glance at Chan in the process. All black clothes as per usual, his leather jacket slipping off his shoulder a little as he hunches over the desk. His hair is curly and un-styled, a little fluffy under his black cap. He's murmuring to himself as he scrubs a hand across his eyes, smudging a length of pencil graphite across his cheek in the process.

Without turning, he speaks. “You know, Y/n… I’ve been thinking. What if I told you I knew?"

You frown, snapping out of your daze, looking at him slightly confused. “Knew what?”

Chan turns, and there's a gentle smile, almost a smirk painted across his mouth. The world holds its breath and suddenly you find that nothing else matters. Not right now.

He leans a little closer, resting an elbow on the desk. “Knew that you like me. That you’ve liked me for a while now.”

You freeze for a second, tidal waves of reality crashing down on you at his words. Your cheeks flood with colour. “W-What? How—how could you possibly know that?”

Chan chuckles, but there’s a tenderness in it that makes your heart beat a little faster.

He shrugs. “I’ve noticed the little things. The way you smile at me when you think I’m not looking. The way you get quiet when I tease you. I’m not blind, you know."

The warmth in his voice makes your crush’s face turn bright red (more so than it already is), and for a moment, you don’t know what to say. The air between you feels charged, filled with unspoken feelings. Chan reaches over and gently brushes his thumb against your hand.

The touch is electrifying.

His voice is soft. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Also, while we're on this topic, I’ve got a confession to make.”

You looks up at him, heart pounding, as he speaks again, the weight of his words suddenly heavier than expected.

Chan speaks slowly, looking into your eyes. “I like you too. A lot. And I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you without messing things up. You know, considering all of this.” He waves his hands vaguely in the air, but you know what he means.

The confession hangs in the air, and for a long moment, neither of you say anything. But the silence is comfortable like before, like everything both of you have wanted to say has finally found its way out. Chan’s hand stays gently resting against yours, a comforting yet giddy warmth, and you feel your heart flutter at the sight of his hand swallowing yours.

You smile shyly at him. “You really knew?”

Chan laughs quietly, not unkindly. “Yeah. I think I’ve known for a while now."

There’s a pause, then both of you break into shy smiles, both realizing that the thing you were both too nervous to say has finally been said. It's clear neither of you know how to continue, as you're too shocked to process what has apparently just happened, and it seems Chan hasn't planned this far either, his energy simply concentrated on confessing.

You both sit and gaze at each other, mouths opening a little and then hesitating, wondering if the other will say something. But neither of you do, until the door flies open with a bang.

Hyunjin and Felix are standing in the doorway, sweating and disheveled from a nightly dance practice. Seeing how they flew out of the studio earlier, you see no foreseeable reason why they would have returned, until you see Hyunjin's phone on the low table.

"Sorry," Hyunjin drawls, panting. "Forgot my phone-"

He cuts himself off and his jaw drops, matching Felix's. The looks on their faces are comical and you would laugh if you weren't suddenly so flustered.

Felix quickly stumbles past Hyunjin and grabs his friend's phone off the table, shooting Chan a not-so-subtle smirk as he bows hurriedly.

"Sorry for interrupting!" Hyunjin calls, cackling before turning away, a giggling Felix at his side.

The door slams shut before either of you can process, hands jerked back from each other as they'd entered and frozen in the air.

The situation is suddenly so ridiculous that you burst into unexpected laughter. You can see Hyunjin and Felix through the frosted glass of the studio door, hunched over and whispering to each other through hushed snickering and giggling.

Chan groans and drops his head into his hands.

a/n: i love the purple theme, suits channie so much

omg i just saw the prompt list

can you do something cute and fluffy with 21 + 44 for Felix, he is wrecking me again rn🥹❤️

so this is pretty rushed but i think it went okay. omg same btw, he's been wrecking me so hard the past few days with his new hairstyle too. anyway here you go <3

fall for you - lee felix

pairing: lee felix x reader

summary: you and felix are at the library late at night, studying for an exam, until things take a sudden turn

genre: another college!au but you can't really tell ig, soft shy felix, very fluffy

a/n: this fic feels so cosy. dividers by @kodaswrld

⛓️ prompts: 21. "Are you trying to get me to fall for you?" / 44. "I wasn't supposed to say that."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

The library is dead silent this time of night, you note as you walk in; the only sounds come from the faint tapping of keys on laptops and occasional taps and thuds as a pen is set down and a book is closed. No one is here but you and a certain someone.

Felix.

He is sitting with his knees tucked to his chest when you return from the cafe down the street, holding a cardboard tray of two drinks. You hand one to him and he thanks you with a soft, tired smile as you sit next to him, where your own workstation has been set up.

Your shoulder brushes his as you readjust, and you sigh as you reopen your laptop, the ghoulish blue light overtaking the warm glow of the golden desk lamps surrounding the area.

Felix laughs quietly. "Bet you missed that blue light, huh?"

You groan. "No, I dragged my feet on the way back from the cafe so I wouldn't have to face it. It's giving me a headache."

"At least you're prepared for the exam."

You groan and lean your head on his shoulder, exasperated. Your voice is muffled. "I don't feel prepared."

He ruffles your hair. "You say that every time, and then you pass with a great score. Relax, Y/nnie."

You sigh and sit upright, stretching. "I guess."

Bending your fingers to release some of the tension, you exhale and dive back into your work. You assume Felix is doing the same, and when you glance across, he is, but little do you know that he's already missing the familiar warmth of your physical action. His shoulder burns where you rested your head and he rolls it back, trying to alleviate the bittersweet feeling.

You're both already sitting fairly close; it's cold outside, and naturally, you drift closer to each other for warmth in the chilly air of the spacious library, knees tucked to chests and jackets draped over shoulders. Silence descends again, occasionally broken by one of you as you pore over shared notes or point to something on your laptops.

You sit back suddenly, turning behind you to survey the darkened shelves and sitting areas. Felix looks up from his notes.

"What's wrong?"

You grin at him. "We're literally the only ones here, do you realise?"

He surveys your surroundings too with a dazed gaze, then he nods. "Yep. I guess everyone else studied earlier."

You laugh and then hurriedly shush yourself, not wanting to disturb the peaceful, serene atmosphere that has descended like a blanket over the library interior. Felix covers his mouth with a hand, trying to muffle his laugh.

"The place isn't haunted, you know," he snickers. "You're allowed to make noise."

You point an accusatory finger at him. "It might be! And besides, you're doing the same thing."

"No, I'm not."

You roll your eyes. "All the library ghosts are going to come for you if they hear you lying, Lee Felix."

Felix snickers again, eyes widening. "Library ghosts? When'd you get that idea? You're lying now-"

You put on a very self-important expression and interrupt him, pretending to glare. "I made it up just now, 'cos I can. They can hear you, Felix."

He's grinning softly now, and a warm feeling spreads in his chest, thawing the ice beginning to frost over his skin from the library air. “I swear," he says, still grinning, "You always know how to make me laugh. Are you trying to get me to fall for you?”

You grin too and try to hide a blush, thankful for the low light. “What? No, of course not. Just trying to keep you awake.”

Felix’s smile falters slightly, unsure if he meant to say that out loud. His hand scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“I... I wasn’t supposed to say that.” He says uncertainly.

You try to play it off, teasing. “Well, now you’ve said it. So, what are you going to do about it?”

Felix’s eyes widen, and he stammers, not knowing how to answer. His heart races. He tries to cover it up with a nervous laugh, his voice a little shaky.

“I... I don’t know. Maybe you should just... make me fall for you?”

Your heart thuds, almost out of your ribcage, and you turn to him, hoping you look as confident as you sound. You don't.

"How exactly do I do that, Felix?"

He is silent. The atmosphere is charged, not least because of the conversation topic or the proximity. Felix lets his head drop and exhales heavily, like he used to when he had a secret to tell. When he raises his head, there's the faintest ghost of a shy smile on his lips. His cheeks are flushed and he's almost shaking.

His voice is so quiet when he speaks, almost a whisper.

"You don't have to try and make me fall for you, Y/n."

You tilt your head softly. "Why not?"

"Because you already have."

a/n: ooooohh *snaps fingers* plot twist

rose part 2 - lee minho

pairing: lee minho x reader

summary: you and lee minho, the smartest student on campus, get unexpectedly paired up to work on an assignment

genre: less angsty, mutual pining, college!au, happy ending hehe

a/n: yayy part 2. dividers by @kodaswrld

⛓️ prompts: 17. "Why are you looking at me like that?" / 28. "You're looking at me like that again."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist | part 1

The next few days are rather awkward.

You avoid Minho as much as humanly possible; more than once he tries to approach you in the corridors, though unsurely, and you find yourself ducking into the next hallway or stopping to talk to someone so that he won't.

Not that you don't want him to approach. Part of you misses talking to him, though most of what came out of his mouth was teasing remarks and judgmental comments. But he does it in a way that lets you know he doesn't mean it.

You know he doesn't mean it, but after you messed up those few days ago, you're beginning to wonder if he might in the future.

You find yourself glancing his way during lectures, subconsciously reaching for your phone to text him before you take control of yourself and tear your gaze away, shove your phone into a drawer. Keeping distance is the best thing to do right now, even if you do miss him.

But still...

Minho and his pretty necklace, his pretty lopsided smile, although it's rare. But it makes it all the more special. It makes him all the more special.

The part of you yearning to see him wonders if there's a slim chance that he reciprocates what you've begun to find yourself feeling, and it tells you to go and find Minho, talk to him, work things out. Maybe you could play it off, say you were on something, plead that you were tired or that there had just been something on his face.

Which is why you had touched it in the first place, though it was on a whim. You'd stroked those precious few strands out of his eyes, touched his pretty mouth on a whim, your fingers brushing against the perfect mask that Lee Minho never lets slip.

The professor calls your name suddenly and you shoot upright, having previously been slouching on your hand, staring down the rows of lecture seats. He shouts out a question and panic seizes your gut like a vice.

"Y/n, what's the answer to question eight?"

Your eyes flit over the screen at the front; you haven't been listening and none of it makes sense. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, and you feel the gazes of other people becoming more prominent by the minute.

Your gaze catches Minho's by chance; he's sitting at the very front of the lecture hall as per usual, all of his materials lined up meticulously neat on the desks. He mouths an answer to you, subtly holding up three fingers.

"Option three," you blurt out. It must be the right answer because the professor turns away, moving onto the next question. You sag back into your seat with relief.

Minho is still looking at you.

You steal a glance at him again, hoping that he's not looking, but he is. You make to look away in haste but not before you see him point to his notebook, gesturing to you and then back at his book.

Staring down at your own folders and papers, you take your black notebook from under the haphazard mess and flip through it. Minho turns back to the front just as a slip of paper falls from between the pages.

You unfold it. Minho's neat, looping handwriting inks the paper in blue.

Meet me at the library at five o clock.

Absolutely not, you think. You toss the paper onto your desk and lean back. There's no way you're going. You might just come up with an excuse and relay it to someone so you don't have to show up. You look back down at Minho's note. It's fallen the other way and there's writing on the other side. You peer closer.

And don't even think about disappearing or making up an excuse. Come on, Y/n. You're not that busy a person.

You roll your eyes, even though you're smiling. He knows, and the realisation doesn't hit you as hard in the gut as you thought it would have.

Five o clock it is.

☆☆☆

When you enter the library, you know exactly where to go; Minho's usual spot is always the far corner, several long tables and chairs tucked behind the shelves. As someone who spends a lot of time in the library to begin with, you've often seen Minho by himself at one of the long tables, with his knees tucked neatly over one another as he reads, or his head bent in concentration as he studies.

You make your way there now; and sure enough, there he is. He's sitting perfectly upright, his posture immaculate. Your back hurts just thinking about sitting the way he does.

Yet again, the only movement is coming from his wrist as he writes something in his books, just like he did when you were at his dorm. He doesn't look up as you approach, hovering near the table unsurely. Like he's a wild animal to be tamed.

He is a little bit, you think.

"Minho..." You begin hesitantly, if not only to announce your presence.

"Hello, Y/n," he says quietly. He sets his pen down in one movement and looks up at you. Like he doesn't have energy to spare, so he's mindful of every move. "Sit down."

You laugh nervously as you collapse into a chair near him, one seat away from where he is. You are a walking tornado in the pristine museum that is Lee Minho.

"So, what is this, a therapy session?" You tilt your head at him, trying to break this ice. Shit, this is so awkward.

"No," he says again, matter-of-factly. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't," you try feebly.

"All you do is lie, Y/n. To yourself too. Stop it."

His comment cuts you unexpectedly.

It hurts even more because he's right. You lied to him and to yourself. You told yourself that avoiding him was the best thing to do. And in addition, suddenly you're irritated and pissed off because of how calm he is.

"Minho."

His tone softens. "Sorry."

You huff and lean back. It feels like when you were a kid, getting into trouble for talking back.

"Why'd you call me here? You've finished your section of the project, so there's no need for us to work together anymore."

Minho shakes his head. "That's not why I asked you here."

You're quiet. Then, "Why?"

"Y/n, I'm not upset about what happened. It seems you are."

He's talking like a fucking therapist, you think. "I didn't mean to touch you like that, it was just on a whim, I was overtired-"

Minho laughs suddenly, his eyes crinkling. It's a surprisingly pleasant sound. "Did you rehearse that excuse?"

You grumble and attempt to wipe the haughty smile off of your face. He's seeing right through you at every turn. "No."

"Well, does being overtired make people want to be close to each other and touch each others' faces?"

You scoff at him, though your heart is pounding. "No. Stop being stupid."

"I'm not stupid. I'm incredibly smart. And I'm right."

"Sure you are, Min."

You freeze. The nickname slips out almost on habit; countless times during the duration of previous project meetings had you called him that purely to irritate him. At first it was a tease. Now it was almost affectionate.

His usual ticked-off reply doesn't come. He looks at you strangely. Then with a slow, deliberate movement, he gets up and sits down in the chair directly next to you. Several of his papers and pens clatter and drift off the table, but he doesn't flinch, nor notice. He doesn't even blink, his gaze entirely, unbrokenly fixed on you.

You gulp.

"I've had a long day," he says calmly. "I missed my lecture this morning because I was studying for my arts exam, and I wasn't able to talk to you these days either, which made it surprisingly worse. I couldn't sleep last night either."

He says all of this with a pure, almost gentle sort of conviction. Like he's a stranger in an elevator, making a polite comment about the weather to fill the silence. It's raining quite hard today. It's predicted sunnier tomorrow, though.

Your throat is dry and it almost hurts to talk. What do you even say to that?

"Okay."

Minho nods solemnly, the ghost of a lopsided grin on his face. His gaze is implicative, almost a smirk. "I happen to be quite overtired at the moment. Do you know what happens when people are overtired, Y/n? I think you do."

Not for the first time in your life do you curse Lee Minho with the eternal role of 'little shit'.

"No," you whisper, unable to speak any louder. "I don't."

"I told you to stop lying."

"I'm not."

He tilts his head a little more. "You are."

You go silent.

Minho's hand comes up to experimentally touch your cheek. You almost flinch at the unexpected gesture but you force yourself to stay still, not wanting to shatter the charged atmosphere. The pads of his fingers are soft and then he draws them back, bringing them to cover his mouth.

He yawns.

He's doing it on purpose now, you think in exasperation. Trying to make me admit that I wasn't overtired at all when I touched him. Even though he already knows what I was doing.

He leans back in his chair, tilting his head to the other side. At this point he's just teasing. He knows exactly what your intentions are. He's playing it up to frustrate you.

Minho brings one hand to his perfect hair and rifles his fingers through it, gaze never leaving you. He messes it up on purpose and you find yourself almost drawn to him, wanting nothing more to reach out and fix it. His gaze is nothing more than an invitation. At least, that's what you're assuming.

You're so close to him, you could just reach out and brush it away like you did those days ago... so you do. It's as soft as you remember, like pinfeathers between your fingertips, and you card it out of his face in gentle, slow motions, not fixing it completely, busy trying your best to ignore his piercing gaze almost burning through yours.

You hesitantly poke his knee, just checking that he's not an apparition and that this is actually happening. It is. And when you look back up, you feel Minho's presence far closer to you than you did before.

This time, when he tilts his head, it is a gentle question. Yes or no?

You nod shakily.

Minho leans in slowly, eyes flitting to yours, checking every step of the way, before his mouth brushes gently against the curve of your cheekbone. Like a bird's wing brushing your face. Colour floods your cheeks and your face burns rosy as his mouth brushes yours briefly, a little clumsy but full of awkward affection, your eyes closing. Minho presses his forehead to yours for a few seconds and then leans back. You open your eyes.

His hair is a royal mess; you suppose your face is a mirror of his expression. His eyes are still fixed on you, the colour high and flushed on his cheeks, mouth parted. You don't think you've ever seen anything, anyone more beautiful.

Minho has the audacity to grin. To grin.

"I think," he breathes shakily, "that I should be overtired more often."

You let out a shaky laugh. "Yes."

"Y/n?"

"Minho."

"Please stop avoiding me," he says softly. "It was lonely."

You stutter out a response, surprised you're still functioning after he just kissed you. "Okay."

Minho brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know that assignment we were working on together?"

You blink, surprised at the sudden change of subject, but you go along with it. You'd handed in your parts together several days ago; you'd scraped through with a decent mark, and Minho, of course, scored with his usual A+. "Yes?"

Minho actually laughs then and you know instantly that it's a sound you want to hear him make for the rest of your life. "I knew you would struggle with it, so I gave you most of the work so that you'd have to come to me for help. We spent more time together because of it."

Your mouth drops open. "Minho, you didn't."

He grins, poking your cheek. "Told you I'm super smart. I pulled an A+ and a hot partner at the same time."

You kick him in the shin.

a/n bonus: i saw this in the tags and i have to admit i laughed

hello 🙊 for the prompt list thing may i request 17 + 28 with lino or jisung pls 😌 excited to see what you'll come up with heheh

i had fun with this request, anon. it's kind of sad so maybe i'll write a little part 2 to it but ig we all need some angst from time to time. i was actually going to write jisung for this fic but i'll save him for another ><

rose - lee minho

pairing: lee minho x reader

summary: you and lee minho, the smartest student on campus, get unexpectedly paired up to work on an assignment

genre: kinda angsty ngl, escalates quickly, college!au, mutual pining, mentions of being thrown out a window (it's a minho fic what do you expect)

a/n: this isn't really how i saw it going but fuck it we ball. dividers by @kodaswrld

⛓️ prompts: 17. "Why are you looking at me like that?" / 28. "You're looking at me like that again."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

"It doesn't make sense," you groan, dropping your head into your hands. Giving up completely, you drop yourself further into the mess of books and papers scattered across Minho's low desk.

Today, the sun is watery and filters weakly through the wide windows of Minho's dorm bedroom, making everything seem pale and slightly colder than usual. You rub your feet together under the desk, your fluffy socks providing some comfort, before it evaporates as you turn back to the part of the assignment you've been struggling over for the past hour.

Minho is sitting across from you, embedded in his own section of the assignment; his head is bent and he sits with his back straight, his elbows positioned so that they just touch the edge of the table. He is pale in the weak sunlight and the only movement he makes comes from the slight flicking of his wrist as he neatly scribes down notes, apparently unaware of your predicament.

He looks like a statue, you think.

"Hey, Minnie," you hum lowly, resorting to annoying him instead of re-attempting your part of the assignment. "Help me out."

"No. And don't call me that."

You groan, pressing your fingers down onto the table and pushing several miscellaneous papers his way. A couple of sticky notes go flying too, and Minho sighs irritatedly as he plucks one off of the collar of his pristine white shirt.

Your eyes follow the trail of his hand as he lowers it, before it creeps back up. His top two buttons are undone and you can see the attractive glint of a necklace, a sleek chain perhaps, against the perfect porcelain skin of his throat-

You sigh. Of all people, why him?

You wish you'd been allowed to choose your own partner for the project. But your professor had other ideas in mind and decided to pair up random people 'to facilitate teamwork and spark new connections' or whatever. Something like that.

Much to your disappointment, you'd been separated from your friends and teamed up with Lee Minho. You knew of him but had never actually talked. Unless you counted that one time where you'd run face-first into him as he'd been coming out of the college library. And all that had been was a rushed apology from you and a slight, huffy glare from him.

He was kind of strange, you thought. He always sat at the front of every lecture, always finished his work way before it was due and scored perfectly every time. Without missing a beat and without breaking a sweat. It was so incredibly irritating.

On top of that, he was popular, usually swarmed by friends and other students whenever he walked the halls. Not that he seemed to notice most of the time. Or maybe he just didn't care. Maybe he was a robot. It would explain his behaviour.

A really attractive robot at that.

You crane your neck a little, peering over the stacks of books between the both of you and see that he's almost done writing up his notes for his section. All without even so much as a glance in your direction. Your page isn't even half-full and you're stuck.

"Why'd you ask me to come to your dorm if you were just gonna ignore me?" You whine.

"Because," he says calmly, "it's easier than having to do it over the phone."

Little shit.

"What about the library?" You retort. "We could have just gone there."

Minho doesn't take his eyes off the paper and he doesn't reply either. Faint colour rises in his cheeks but you're too wrapped up in your own current problems to notice.

"Minho, come on. We're supposed to be working together." You tilt your head and fix him with a pleading gaze, half-despair, half panic. You're not dumb, and maybe not incredibly smart like Lee Minho either, but this assignment is difficult. And it's harder when he's refusing to help.

You don't take your eyes off of him, deciding to keep your gaze fixed on his face until he chooses to acknowledge you. You wait almost ten minutes before he looks up again, and he jolts slightly, like he hasn't realised you've been fixated on him all that time.

He stiffens. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because. I need help."

"You're clever. Figure it out on your own."

Your heart flutters from the rather direct compliment but you choose to ignore it. "Minho, please."

He smirks suddenly, a short bout of apparent confidence, teasing as he imitates you. "Minho, please."

You swear and lift a fist but he doesn't even flinch. He looks at you quietly and his smile disappears, then he gets up and crouches down beside you, poring over your page.

He hums. "You didn't write shit."

You groan. "Yes, I know. Thank you for clarifying."

"You're welcome," he murmurs, unfazed, eyes fixed on the page.

It's then that you realise how close he is; he's not sitting down fully, leaning on the balls on his feet, a temporary sitting position. One hand is on the desk and he's leaning in a little, his mouth moving slightly as he exhales out words, skim-reading your page.

He smells good, you think.

Minho is there for what feels like hours but is probably a few seconds, and then he leans back, fixing you with a stare. You feel the unusual warmth of his presence near you fade, like a mug of hot tea gone cold, and a bitter feeling rises in your throat. You open your mouth a little, maybe to prepare for whatever insult he's concocted, but it doesn't come.

What does come is an unexpectedly gentle explanation of your section of the assignment. He moves a little closer to point things out on your research papers, so close that if you turned your head, the tip of your nose would brush his chest. He's looming over you a little but you feel strangely protected, and you find yourself relishing in the almost-contact of Minho being there beside you.

So much so that when he leans back to clarify that you've understood what he's been saying, you find yourself as a loss for words. All you can do is gaze up at his stupidly perfect face, mind whirring with many thoughts but none as present as the fact that you hadn't been listening and now he will probably throw you out the window.

"Y/n."

You blink once, slowly, stupidly.

"You're looking at me like that again."

And maybe it's the fact that this whole thing feels unreal, or that the assignment has you so dazed, or that you're working with Lee Minho of all people, but you suddenly find your hand reaching up to brush a strand of soft hair out of his eyes. It trails down until your thumb rests gently in the middle of his plush bottom lip. You expect him to move back, chide you, glare, push you away.

But he doesn't.

Later, you will be embarrassed by this memory, and the fact dimly registers somewhere in the back of your mind.

It seems to register in Minho's mind too, because his eyes widen a fraction and suddenly you find yourself falling off the soft, ethereal cloud of fantasy into the real world, where consequences and rational thoughts exist, though they didn't several seconds earlier.

You jerk your hand back and he looks almost disappointed, but you don't notice. A strand of fumbled apologies leaves your mouth as you stand, almost tripping, and quickly collect your belongings.

Minho has his hands out, seemingly trying to stop you, but his face is burning and unsure and you brush past him, fleeing as your eyes sting with tears. You rush through the unfamiliar setting of his dorm and eventually find the door.

"Wait," Minho gasps, seemingly out of breath. From what, you don't know. He still has his hands out, but he doesn't move to touch you, maybe afraid that he might scare you or cause some sort of unwanted reaction. Not that you're not already having one.

"Please," he says, quieter. You're still fumbling with the lock on the door, back to him. And you're not listening, too dazed and afraid to turn and face him. Humiliation washes over you in waves.

You feel so embarrassed.

But Minho has yet to throw an insult or a glare. He's just standing there, his hands out, almost reaching, and an expression of near-worry on his face. It looks strange, like he's not quite sure how to move his features to express it. In other situations, you would have laughed. Now all you want to do is cry.

The lock on the dormitory door finally gives and you rush out, disappearing down the hallway in a blur. Minho lets out a last, frantic 'wait' and considers rushing after you, but his rationality tells him it would just make things worse.

He pushes the door shut in a haze and sinks down against it, his hair ruffling against the smooth, white wood. He finds himself out of breath again, like he's been running, though he hasn't, and his stomach feels funny. Like something is leaping around inside it.

It's not unpleasant, almost a nice feeling, but it's unfamiliar and Minho has learnt to recognise that unfamiliar is usually not a good sign. He's supposed to know things and the feeling won't stop, so he puts both hands on his stomach to try and press it out, maybe.

But it doesn't work. Flashes of you run through his mind and the feeling only intensifies. His face feels like it's burning and he is bewildered, rosy in the weak sunlight. And he has a sudden, strange longing, yearning, maybe, to see you again.

Is it because you touched his face like that and he kind of liked it, maybe? Is it because he enjoyed having you around even though you're not a friend, or is it because you're a familiar face at college, and familiar is good and familiar is safe? He doesn't know.

A rather raw feeling surfaces in his chest and he almost gags at the unexpectedness of it. Suddenly he's on a stormy ocean, waves ravaging and lightning flashing all around him. He falls off his boat and loses his grip on the anchor and sinks into the cold, dark sea.

It runs down his cheeks, staining them wet and salty. And he's not one to be overemotional or show much of it in the first place unless there is a real reason, but he can't stop.

Minho puts his head in his hands and cries.

a/n: part 2?

Can you do something fluffy with 29 and 45 with Changbin? Glad to see you back!! (JJ)

hihi <3 thanks for the request, it's good to be back! this is my first time writing prompts but it's super helpful actually... idk why i didn't do it before. i know you said fluff but i've been itching to write spy!changbin for so long so i just did it quite lighthearted. lmk if you want a rewrite <3

gatecrasher - seo changbin

pairing: seo changbin x reader

summary: you and changbin get sent on a spy mission. look i don't know what the fucking description for this is supposed to be okay

genre: fluff, superspy! au, crack, pretty lighthearted, a few mentions of guns but that's it, kiwi hyunjin surprise appearance

a/n: i mean, come on. changbin as a spy? yes.

⛓️ prompts: 29. "I like the way you think." / 45. "This changes everything."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

Changbin is smirking as you reach the bottom of the red-carpeted stairs, his hands tucked into the pockets of his sleek, dark suit. The top button of his dark dress shirt is undone and he pulls the material away from his skin, fanning himself dramatically as you reach to take his extended hand.

He bows exaggeratedly and you swat at his chest, chuckling. You subtly brush a hand across your thigh to feel that the gun holster strapped to your thigh hasn't come loose. You know the exact model and make of your pistol is also strapped against Changbin's chest, sleek and dark and out of sight.

For now.

Adjusting the comm-link in your ear, you take Changbin's arm as you two subtly blend in amongst the other guests. The ballroom is large and sumptuous, filled with sparkling light and expensive items for auction. The guests themselves are dripping in diamonds and glamourous clothing and you fight the bile rising in the back of your throat. These people are so snobby and oblivious.

Changbin nudges you silently and you both take several steps backwards, disappearing behind a heavy velvet curtain. Part of you wishes you could keep walking through the ballroom and admire everything, but you and Changbin have a job to do.

That's the thing about being a spy. Sometimes you want to do things and then your duties tug you in the other direction, the way an irritated owner might tug their yappy dog on a leash.

"By the way," Changbin whispers from where he's situated next to you, "you look good."

"You too, gatecrasher."

He rolls his eyes. "We're spies. We're allowed to gatecrash. Legally. I think."

He tugs on your arm now, leading you to the curtain. You're both here to acquire a precious item; or rather swipe it and bring it back to your headquarters. Peeking out from in front of Changbin, you notice the target item being inspected by a snobby-looking man and another woman.

"What now?" You whisper.

Changbin hums from where he's looking out the curtain above you. "We just have to wait a while until they leave. Then we'll swipe it."

You groan softly. "I hate waiting. It'll take ages for that guy and his wife to leave. Look how much they're yapping."

He snickers. "Some particular intel tells me that woman with the snobby-looking guy is his mistress, not his wife."

You gasp, equal parts scandalised and delighted. Changbin claps a hand over his mouth to muffle his laugh.

"Or," he says, clearly struggling to hold his mirth in, "We could go now and try to fake-buy the stupid thing first. This is an auction, after all."

"Yeah. One that we broke into."

He rolls his eyes and pokes your forehead. "That's because it's our job to break into places and steal things. It's for the greater good."

You grin. "Greater good, my a-"

"Shut up, they'll hear us. Let's just wait a couple minutes then stroll out all posh and try and win the auction for the item."

You smirk and look back out the curtain. "I like the way you think."

Changbin nods modestly. "I know you do. It's very obvious."

"Just one thing, how are we supposed to walk out of here with the item? You have to pay for it and then show your receipt to the bouncers at the door."

He grins. "We'll figure that out soon enough."

You roll your eyes and turn back to peek through the curtains. A tiny, almost inaudible sound from behind you makes both you and Changbin whip around, guns unholstered and in hand.

Hwang Hyunjin is leaning against the wall, dressed in a sleek white and black tuxedo. His hair is startingly different, now a shorn dirty blonde and you find yourself missing his long, dark locks all of a sudden. Not that he looks bad. He looks good, pretty even-

You gulp as Changbin lets out a small puff of laughter. "Hello, kiwi."

Hyunjin just rolls his eyes, his voice a low drawl. "Hello, Bin. Chief sent me to keep an eye on you two. Swiped that pretty target item yet?"

He looks at you as he says the word 'pretty' and you feel Changbin bristle on your behalf. Not that you mind, though you feign annoyance at Hyunjin's subtle remark.

"I don't see you with the item," Changbin retorts.

"Yeah, because I'm supervising."

You fight a laugh as Changbin turns back to the curtain, huffing dramatically. "Supervising. Totally."

Hyunjin just grins and peeks out the curtain too. "I mean, I could go get the item, since you two are content to hide behind here."

You poke him harshly in the side and he bends sideways, glaring playfully at you.

"This changes everything," Changbin huffs. "It'll look suspicious if two of us came behind this curtain and three of us walk out."

You side-eye him. "What now, then?"

Hyunjin's breath plays across your cheek. "Let's all go."

"No," you and Changbin whisper in unison.

He rolls his eyes. "On the count of three."

"Hyunjin-" You protest.

"Onetwothreego-"

And he's gone, sashaying into the crowd of opulence.

"Fucking kiwifruit man." Changbin swears, glaring through the curtain. "Come on, he'll wreak havoc on his own."

You grin and take his offered arm. "Thought he was supervising."

"Not anymore, it seems. We need to swipe that target item or at least catch up with Hyunjin. We exit from the curtain on three, okay? One-"

"Two three go!"

a/n: if i had the motivation i would have made this into a series

⋆✧ ttokki's skz prompt list ! ✧⋆

all you have to do is request a number and any skz member! if you choose to request, they will be written as oneshots only, unless i decide i want to turn them into a story or write a part 2. please feel free to ask for a part 2 once the original has been released if you so wish :]

"I made us tea."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's okay, I'm here."

"I’ll be right by your side."

"You don’t have to say anything."

"Let’s just sit for a while."

"I’m glad you’re here."

"Take your time. I’m not going anywhere."

"You can rest now."

"Everything will be okay."

"This isn’t what I wanted."

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"I don’t know how we got here."

"We can’t keep doing this."

"I don’t think I can forgive you."

"You don’t even care, do you?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"We’ve been through this a thousand times."

"You don’t understand, do you?"

"You said you’d never leave."

"Are you trying to get me to fall for you?"

"That’s not what you said last time."

"I can’t believe you just said that."

"You’re a terrible influence."

"Is that your idea of a compliment?"

"I bet you can’t do this."

"Careful, I might take that the wrong way."

"You’re looking at me like that again."

"I like the way you think."

"Don’t think I didn’t notice."

"I didn’t expect it to hurt this much."

"I don’t know how to fix this."

"I didn’t mean for it to end like this."

"It’s not your fault, but I still feel... empty."

"How did we get so far apart?"

"I thought you understood me."

"I feel like I’m losing you."

"I wish things were different."

"I can’t keep pretending I’m fine."

"Maybe we weren’t meant to last."

"I need you to listen, just this once."

"There’s something you don’t know."

"You don’t want to know what I just found."

"I wasn’t supposed to say that."

"This changes everything."

"What if I told you I knew?"

"You’re not going to believe this."

"I wish I could take it back."

"I have a confession to make."

"If I were you, I’d run."

"Are you seriously going to act like nothing happened?"

"I’m done pretending this isn’t a problem."

"Why are you so afraid of the truth?"

"You can’t keep doing this to me."

"It’s always about you, isn’t it?"

"You don’t get to decide that."

"I’m not the one who walked away."

"Do you even care anymore?"

"I’m not asking for much, just honesty."

"This has to stop, now."

"I’ve been thinking about it all day."

"Maybe I never really understood what I wanted."

"It’s hard to know what’s real anymore."

"I thought I had everything figured out."

"Sometimes, I wonder if I made the right choice."

"It’s strange, isn’t it? How we end up here."

"I’ve been holding on to the wrong things."

"What do you think it all means?"

"It’s funny how life changes so quickly."

"I didn’t expect to feel like this again."

𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨' 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 ⊹ 𝙮𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙜

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: you go out on new year's eve with chan and the rest of skz

genre: literally just fluff, it's cold ig

a/n: happy new years, everyone! i wanted to do a little special fic to mark the start of a new chapter (ha ha not literally) and even though it doesn't snow here, i wrote colder weather into the fic anyway for that extra vibe 🌨️

skz masterlist

Your breath puffs out in front of you in sharp, frosty clouds as you and Chan weave your way through the busy streets. The air is tangy and cold with the promise of more snow to come, though in the morning, most of it will begin to melt.

Everywhere you look, there are people; weaving through the busy sidewalks, holding hands with their loved ones, streaming out of shops or stores.

Next to you, Chan grins, his cheeks feeling stiff and iced with the cold weather, but slowly thawing with the warmth of his smile. He was in his element; he'd told you a while ago that he had made it a tradition with the kids to go out on the very first day of the new year, spending hours into the night laughing, eating, and exploring.

So, this year, he decided to bring you along too. It's chaos, but for once, Chan doesn't make an immediate move towards Seungmin and Jeongin, who are tossing back and forth creative insults a little way ahead of you on the sidewalk, or to Hyunjin, who's busy scooping up handfuls of snow to put down Felix's shirt.

Minho hovers nearby, his phone camera at the ready, and the neck of his shirt tucked in tightly, secure and cheeky-dongsaeng-proof. The rest of the boys are scattered up ahead, and though Chan hangs back, holding your hand and letting the other members supervise for once, you can tell he's checking in every few minutes anyway. Just in case.

You squeeze his hand a little tighter.

Normally, for you, the new year brings about a sense of loneliness and gloom; you were a storm, overcast with the grey feeling of another year passing by without feeling like you'd achieved anything. And for some reason, it seemed to weigh down on the times when you were supposed to be happiest. Like now.

Of course Chan noticed; yet again, his gentle, perceiving nature had reached out a hand to you, though it was shaking a little with the cold. So you had taken it, and now you found yourself seated next to him at a cosy, steamy restaurant on a street corner, all the other members crammed around the table, packed in tight but their spirits and feeling flying free.

You rub your nose, feeling the inside thaw a little as you inhale steam floating from the kitchen. Everything is soaked in rosy, warm light; your hands, Chan's face, the table in front of you all, and all the other guests chattering away and eating at their own tables.

Chan nudges you. You look up at his face; kind, dark eyes, a flush high on his cheekbones, staining the skin pink. He's a little paler than usual because of the cold, and his hands look the same way, but the radiance of his usual self shines brighter no less.

"You okay?" He whispers.

You nod back and you notice that his teeth are chattering slightly.

"Yeah, just recovering from the cold outside. It's much warmer in here."

Chan nods, puffing out a laugh. "I thought the boys were gonna freeze out there too, alongside us."

You steal a glance at the seven members, who are busy bickering and chattering and being their usual selves. They all erupt into laughter just as Felix pulls out a chunk of snow from the hem of his jacket and shoves it down Hyunjin's shirt instead.

You chuckle. "They move too fast for the frost to catch them."

Chan sighs wearily in agreement and you laugh, feeling the grey, stormy cloud hanging over your head lift a little.

Two hours, a lot of food, and nine full bellies later, you're all walking back down the street to a famous lookout point. It's not midnight yet and it won't be for a while, so Changbin suggested killing time by looking over the city of Seoul before heading back to watch the fireworks.

You all reach the steps to head to the lookout tower and the boys scramble up, skipping stairs. Joking threats of pushing each other down the steps and playful bickering disturbs several other people and Chan bows hurriedly before moving to follow the rest of his band. His hand is still glued to yours, however, and he jolts in his tracks as he moves and you stay rooted to the bottom of the steps.

"Channie," you say quietly. "Wait."

He steps back to your level, looking into your eyes with curiosity. "What is it? Are you okay?"

Though it's cold, you feel your palms sweating a little as you reach into your pocket, closing your hand around something as you keep eye contact with the man in front of you.

"I wanted to give you something," you whisper. "Because you always do so much for me, and I wanted you to know that I love you."

Chan smiles warmly. "I love you too."

You pull out the flat box from your pocket. It's dark blue and about the size of your palm, and you hand it to him with shaking fingers, soothed by the brush of Chan's own fingers brushing yours as he takes it gently.

He opens the box. Inside is a silver bracelet; a chain, just like the ones he loves to wear. There's a pendant at the bottom; a silver love knot threaded with tiny black diamonds, and two smaller pendants either side of that one, each depicting little bold letters spelling out yours and Chan's names.

Chan takes it out of the box with shaking hands and you help him clip it to his wrist. He turns it over and over, his eyes almost glowing with soft, adoring affection.

"I love it," he whispers. "Thank you."

You smile and pull back your own jacket sleeve, where an identical bracelet rests. Where the diamonds on Chan's pendant are black, yours are a silvery white, the colours opposing but still working so well together. Chan's eyes widen at the sight of it. Black and white.

Yin and yang.

You're still holding back your sleeve as Chan stares with unfiltered adoration at the identical chain circling your wrist. Earlier, the cold stung and whipped icicles against the softness of your skin, seeping into your bones and biting with icy teeth.

Now, you don't even feel it. It's like a bubble of warmth has begun to radiate from your shared presence at the bottom of the steps, the snow beginning to fall lightly around you both. You can almost feel waves of it rolling off of Chan's body and you sink into his inviting, cosy warmth, wrapping your arms around Chan's shoulders as his arms circle tightly around your waist.

The cold does nothing to hurt you now, not while Chan is here. The last remnants of stormy cloud dissipate and you feel a warm, pleasant feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. With Chan, it is warm, and safe, and the love between you is known.

You hope it stays that way.

a/n: first fic of 2025 hehe

YALL IM SO FUCKING BACK

you could never understand the relationship between a girl and her four hundred lip products

lonely st. series finale ✧ chapter x : a new dawn

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: mentions of injuries, lil bit angsty, some romance (not saying who but it's a surprise!), sad jisung :(( he's the best, i can't be bothered to write any more warnings. also i have no clue how basketball works so any basketballer stays out there pls don't come for me

a/n: it's done! i cried writing this last chapter but the ending is worth it i swear. thank you so much for all of the love, it means the world, and i'm so glad to have written this series for all of you <3 please read this post before you open this chapter if you haven't already 💫

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Hyunjin leapt and shot a hoop for the umpteenth time; he glanced over at the closed double doors of the gym as the ball thudded against the ground.

The gym was quiet and dark; the lights were turned off, and Hyunjin could only see because of the moonlight that spilled into the room from the high windows, unobstructed by other buildings and illuminating the lines and boundaries of the court.

Retrieving the ball, he sat down in the middle of the court, glancing around the darkened gym. He wasn't supposed to be in there to begin with; it was eleven pm and he was supposed to be in bed, sleeping.

Yet again, he hadn't been able to.

Feeling so restless that even sleepy Jeongin began to become disturbed by his tossing and turning, he'd decided to take a walk and figured that it wouldn't have hurt to shoot a few hoops to try and tire himself out. The last game of the tournament was tomorrow; they'd be heading back to school early and competing there.

Hyunjin contemplated his performance so far; he'd done pretty well, and worked harder than he'd thought he could. Every game except one which was a draw, they'd won so far.

There was one match left and Hyunjin had no intention of breaking the winning streak. Not when he and his teammates had worked so inexplicably hard.

He touched the bandage on his wrist, deep in thought; the friction burn was healing, and the bruise was beginning to fade, little by little, but after five whole days, there had been no real improvement. His wrist still hurt when he moved it too far to the left and it ached dully when he flexed his forearm.

He'd been told to leave the bandage on so as to prevent infection; at first, he hadn't minded, but soon the addition of the wrap to his body had become nothing more than a constant nuisance, something he'd had to stop and adjust during games.

The nurse who had wrapped it to begin with had given him a sling, or brace of some sorts; it was sleek and black, wrapping up his forearm and securing at the base of his thumb. He didn't wear it during the night, but he smiled at the memory of when he'd shown it to his teammates.

"It looks like a spy glove," Jeongin had told him with a grin.

Hyunjin wasn't sure what that had meant, but at least it had made little foxy Innie smile. He flexed his fingers absentmindedly, realising that the younger member hadn't been as happy as he had been at the start of the tournament.

They were doing just fine in terms of the competition, but Hyunjin knew his team members well, and if the evidence of overwhelming, strained practices and sleepless nights was enough to go by, he could tell they all just wanted to go home.

He felt the exact same way; the last few days had stung more and more without Y/n. He'd told her everything that had happened as often as he could, whether it was over the phone or through text.

He found he liked calling her better; it was nice hearing her voice, especially when he put it on speaker and let her tone float around him. It was like she was sitting right beside him as he talked about everything that had happened.

Deciding to get up and head back to bed, he put the basketball back into the netted ball bins near the door and slipped out of the gym, pressing the large flat button to raise the hoop. It ascended into the ceiling with a soft whirring sound and Hyunjin slipped round the corridor, walking towards his dorm.

He checked the time; he'd been gone for about an hour and a half. Hopefully the other members were asleep by now, and if he was lucky, he would be able to dress down and slip into bed before anyone even stirred.

Checking round the corner for any potential adults or figures of authority, Hyunjin hurried silently down the hallway to his dorm. It wasn't like anyone was out this time of night, but he still felt wary, and he couldn't help but think what might happen if any of the coaches if they caught him sneaking around in the dead of night.

Quietly opening the door to his dorm room and flinching at the click of the lock, he slipped inside and shut it as quietly as possible. The room was dark; he froze for a second, trying to determine whether anyone was awake. Hearing nothings but soft breathing and the occasional shuffle from Jeongin's bunk, he tiptoed over the his corner of the room, toeing off his socks and gently placing them down next to his sneakers.

It was completely dark in the room; Hyunjin stretched a hand in front of his face and saw nothing. He squinted and tried to adjust his watering eyes to the pitch blackness of the room as he slipped off his hoodie, then his shirt.

It was freezing cold; the dorms usually became cold by night, therefore they'd been supplied with extra bedsheets and blankets, and been told to dress warm for the night, but Hyunjin quite liked not having layers on when he slept. He liked the feeling of the coolness against his skin; it seeped through his skin and made him feel light, airy, and clean.

It was especially welcome as the sweat cooled and evaporated off of his skin; it meant he didn't have to freshen up. Now standing in nothing but his usual shorts, he felt his way to his bottom bunk, clumsily settling into the sheets and turning to face the wall.

He jolted and let out a muffled yelp as someone rolled over and slung a warm arm around his middle. Recognising the size and build of it almost instantly, he let out a shaky breath.

"Shit, Felix," he whispered. "You scared me."

From behind him, Felix smirked so hard Hyunjin could almost hear it in the dimness of the room. "Sorry."

"Why are you in my bed and not yours, sleepy chicken?"

Felix tugged him closer, nuzzling his face into Hyunjin's nape and whispering into the skin. "I got cold and Innie told me to leave him alone. Jisung's dead to the world and he tends to unknowingly thwack me if I sleep next to him, so I came to your bunk. Surprise, you weren't there."

Hyunjin let out a soft scoff. "My bad."

"It is your bad," Felix agreed. "Out talking to Y/n again?"

Hyunjin stiffened slightly and lightly pinched Felix's hand, resting on his hip. "No. I couldn't sleep, so I went to shoot a couple hoops."

Felix hissed. "You could have gotten in so much trouble."

His friend let out a soft, exasperated noise. "I can't help it. Besides, I've had a lot to think about."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Felix's voice was soft and thoughtful, though a little teasing. "Like what?"

"The winning streak our team has. My forearm injury. Y/n. You. The mess with Jisung. Also, my hair's growing longer and I don't know how to cut it myself." Hyunjin blew a strand of it out of his eyes as if to demonstrate his point.

Felix chuckle softly, murmuring. "Maybe you should ask Y/n to cut it for you when you get back."

Hyunjin was silent for a moment. "I really miss her, Lix."

"I know. I miss her too."

Hyunjin turned and shuffled, facing his friend. Felix tangled their legs together for warmth, shivering. Noticing his discomfort, Hyunjin pulled him gently closer and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, his voice becoming even softer than before.

"Do you think she really might like me?"

Felix nodded softly, the quiet brushing sound of his head against the pillow being Hyunjin's only confirmation. Quickly getting up to reach for his phone, which he'd thrown on the floor (Hyunjin swore he would never treat his own device like that) he settled back into his friend's bed and opened to his homescreen.

The sudden brightness made both boys hiss and Hyunjin let out a muffle groan. Felix, however, was undeterred, and navigated with watering eyes to his messages, where he opened up the chat he had with Y/n.

Turning his phone to Hyunjin, Felix pointed to several messages from her that had been sent not long ago.

"She sent these to me after I called her to check something back at home," he whispered. "It was really late, and she was crying."

Hyunjin's eyes widened as he realised the date. It was the almost exact same time and the same date from when she'd told him to look in his bag. Where he'd found the bandaids, and the little note she'd left for him inside the innermost pocket.

The exact same date, where she'd texted Felix crying, and the exact same date where Hyunjin had sat in the middle of the lamplit dorm, tears streaking down his cheeks as he'd cried to himself.

He cried because he had missed her, he wanted to see her, and he couldn't help the tidal wave of emotions that had surged over him after Y/n had ended the call; overwhelm, tiredness, longing, sadness. On top of all of that, she was just really sweet and the sentimentality of the gesture had brought tears to his eyes. Jisung had always joked about how soft he was for affectionate gestures, and Hyunjin was grudgingly beginning to see how he had a point.

He took Felix's phone and read through the messages from after the phone call with her had ended.

*call with 'y/nnie ⛓️' ended. call duration 00:01:43* lix 🌻: he'll be back soon, y/nnie. don't worry! y/nnie ⛓️: is he doing okay? lix 🌻: he's good i think lix 🌻: he was kinda upset a couple days ago because of all the pressure that's been heaped on him lix 🌻: and he's been a little tense y/nnie ⛓️: i could tell after we talked on the phone y/nnie ⛓️: he sounded really tired too lix 🌻: if his voice is anything to go by, you sound exhausted lix 🌻: but please don't cry y/nnie ⛓️: i'm sorry for calling you and disturbing you from whatever you were doing, lix lix 🌻: nonono don't be sorry!! i understand lix 🌻: i think he misses you too lix 🌻: ...but you already know that

Hyunjin turned the phone towards the real Felix laying beside him and glared at him pointedly.

"You gonna keep exposing me like this?" He whispered.

Felix whispered back accusingly. "I didn't say anything exposing to her. You literally told her you missed her."

"Oh, right. My bad."

Felix scoffed and it turned into a quiet laugh, muffled by Hyunjin's large hand over his mouth.

"Don't wake the others," he huffed out, though a smile teased the corners of his mouth.

His friend nodded, both of them bathed in the bright blue glow of Felix's phone screen, which was still held aloft between them in Hyunjin's hands.

"I really do miss her, Lix."

His friend's voice was soft. "I know. Are you planning to tell her, though? How you feel?"

Hyunjin sighed. "I want to, but I just don't know."

Felix propped himself up on his elbows and began stroking Hyunjin's hair out of his face. "If you don't tell her, she might go a long time without having you by her side. In that way."

"But I'd rather have her friendship than nothing at all," Hyunjin glanced at him desperately.

"Well, we're heading back tomorrow, for the final game, so maybe you can tell her then."

Hyunjin sighed and settled down further into the sheets, feeling heat radiating off of Felix's body. "Maybe."

From the other side of the room, Jisung, who had been silently listening from his bunk, closed his eyes, and slept.

Hyunjin sighed and pushed the ball bins back into the gym's storage cupboard. The boys' teams had spent the entire morning helping to clean and pack up the courts for the end of the tournament, and though it had initially sounded like an easy task, it turned out to be quite the opposite.

Hyunjin was sweating by the time he'd packed up his assigned area; he'd been told to check all of the storage cupboards and count the balls, before scouring the courts for any strays left over. He'd been running back and forth through the gyms all morning.

Wiping his forehead with a sweaty hand, he wondered where all of the others had gone. Each member had been given a set of different tasks, and though they had initially planned to leave for the school campus early in the morning, the date had been changed so that they were leaving later that afternoon.

Hyunjin didn't mind; he'd grown quite accustomed to the polished courts and the dorms where he'd spent so much time. He sat down in the middle of the court and leaned back on his hands. His wrist was almost healed; there was still a noticeable burn mark, and the inside of his forearm was painted in shades of fading purple and green.

He chuckled as a shout snapped him out of his thoughts; Jeongin had been sent to the gym next door to organize the basketball gear, and Hyunjin thought he heard a faint thudding, most likely the basketballs he'd spent all morning collecting tumbling out of the bins and onto the courts.

"Shit, Innie," he groaned aloud to himself. "That took me all morning."

Getting up, he stretched his hands far above his head, letting out another groan, and decided to go check on his younger member to see what kind of chaos he'd managed to cause this time.

Stepping out of the double doors and wincing at the sunlight that just so happened to be shining in his face, he shielded his eyes with a hand and began walking through the pathway that led to where Jeongin was. He passed another gym and paused as he heard a familiar laugh from inside.

Curiosity, or perhaps nosiness getting the best of him, he peeked into the gym, noticing two figures sprawled out on the polished wooden floors. Checking left and right, and then cautiously poking his head into the gym, he looked around, trying to find something he could hide behind.

Noticing a storage cupboard to the right, which had been left ajar, he braced himself and dropped to his hands and knees, glancing across to make sure he wasn't seen. He took off his sneakers too; the last thing he wanted was for Felix and his little girlfriend to hear him squeaking his way across the court.

He hoped the storage cupboard was empty; a quick glance around showed him that it was. Satisfied with his hiding spot, he poked his head a little around the door to spy on his friend.

He felt a little bit bad; after all, they assumed they were alone; but he couldn't help it.

Besides, Hyunjin thought with a grudging grin, It's about time he gets a girl.

The girl in question, who Hyunjin had previously assumed to be a volleyballer, was leaning against one of the basketball bins at her back, legs stretched out in front of her. Felix was leaning on one hand, nodding along attentively to something she was saying. Hyunjin bit his lip to keep the smile from his face; it was honestly really cute.

He watched as Felix reached up a hand to run it through his hair, his eyes not leaving the girl's face. She didn't look away either as his hand came down, suspiciously close to her own. She made to fake-stretch and rested her hand closer to his friends.

He rolled his eyes. Get on with it already, man.

Felix apparently must have heard his telepathic message, because he inched his hand forward, just barely touching hers. Hyunjin's smile grew as he saw her hand inch forward too, til their fingers were loosely laced together against the polished floor of the court.

Even though Hyunjin was a short distance away, he could see Felix's cheeks heating up, taking on a soft pink hue matching the girl's ears. If he was being honest with himself, Hyunjin was halfway through wanting to clap and cheer and halfway through wanting to throw up, but he kept quiet and hidden nonetheless.

Felix adjusted himself so he was a little closer; his fingers moved to lightly run his thumb along the back of the girl's hand. He was smiling as sincerely as Hyunjin had ever seen it. Even brighter than the sun. Was that possible?

He was busy pondering that thought when his vision came back into focus, just in time to see Felix press his mouth to hers.

Hyunjin's jaw dropped and he knew he should look away, give his friend privacy, but he was so enamoured by the sight of his forever-bitchless friend finally getting some game that all he could do was stare with his mouth open.

Felix tilted his head a little and brought a hand up to gently run it along the side of her face; the girl's hands were clutching at his shoulders and she was beginning to lean back. Felix blindly reached beside her head, still kissing her, and pushed the ball bin that she was leaning on away, sending it rolling back a metre. He leaned forward just as the girl leaned back, propping herself up on the floor.

O-kay, time to stop watching them now-!

Hyunjin turned and covered his mouth as he leant against the wall of the storage cupboard, in disbelief. He'd just seen his friend kissing a girl.

Hyunjin now had two choices; stay until they had finished with the lovey-dovey notions, or risk being seen as he left. He decided to stay in the storage cupboard after a moment of strategic thinking. If the faint sounds of kissing and sighing were anything to go by, they wouldn't be done for a while.

Looking around the small, dark room while he waited, Hyunjin noticed another door hidden behind a small rack of tennis equipment to his left. Getting up as quietly as he could, he moved to the door and turned the handle, wondering whether it led to a smaller cupboard.

It didn't. It led out into the sunshine, and Hyunjin realised it was the back door to the gym. He sighed in relief and shut the door behind himself.

Deciding to actually go and find Jeongin, and see if he needed any help, Hyunjin set off towards the other gym opposite, peeking inside just in case he happened to walk in on anyone else.

Jisung and Jeongin were inside, much to Hyunjin's relief, and he walked to them, feeling a bit shaky on his legs. They were sitting in the middle of the court, playing some sort of game on Jisung's phone, and apparently finished with their tasks. Hyunjin sighed thankfully; at least their jobs were done. He'd already decided not to tell them anything for fear of upsetting Felix.

Jeongin looked up as he approached, smiling. It dropped as he tilted his head at the older boy in concern.

"Captain, why is your face so red?"

The bus ride back to the school campus was long and uneventful; the boys had started off chattering and laughing, throwing snack wrappers at each other, and teasing other endlessly, but had eventually fallen silent as the ride progressed. Hyunjin sat next to Jeongin this time, Felix having decided to sit with Jisung.

Looking through the gap in the seats, Hyunjin noticed Felix smiling at his phone, his cheeks still a bit red. His hair was a little disheveled too and Hyunjin smiled to himself as he turned and leant back against his seat, closing his eyes.

At least someone had the guts to confess.

He looked out the window, contemplatively intertwining his hands as his brow furrowed, wondering what he should do. He had followed through with his plan so far; he'd grown closer to Y/n through texts an calls, and he had a slight feeling that she might like him, but he still wasn't any closer to finding out whether Jisung harboured any sort of affection towards her or not.

Truthfully, he hadn't been talking to him much, only when they were on the court. Otherwise, they'd only been talking when absolutely necessary, and as Hyunjin reflected, he began to feel guilty for how much he'd been neglecting his friend. He wondered if Jisung had any idea about what was going on. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

He could only hope it was the latter.

He knew for sure that Jisung had caught onto his avoidant behaviour; he'd overheard him talking to Felix about how he felt like he'd done something wrong, or perhaps said something that might have upset Hyunjin, and as a result, made his captain avoid him.

He'd felt pretty bad after that; Hyunjin kicked himself for letting the negative feelings fester in his heart for so long. He should have just talked to him about it. But there was still a part of him that felt that Jisung liked Y/n too, and if he knew that he had competition, things could have turned nasty between them.

And yes, Hyunjin liked Jisung, and he was a close friend, but Hyunjin had finally found a potential other half in Y/n, and he wasn't sure what he was willing to put on the line if it meant being on the receiving end of her affection.

Was it worth losing Jisung for Y/n?

Hyunjin groaned softly and let his head fall against the window, the vibrating sensation of the bus's movement reverberating through his head, shaking up his thoughts. It was still sunny outside, and he closed his eyes, letting the sunshine filter through onto his skin, painting the insides of his eyelids in a coral sheen.

He jolted as Jeongin's head fell slowly on his shoulder; looking down, he realised the younger boy had fallen asleep. Brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes, he kissed his friend's head affectionately and he decided to attempt to fall asleep himself, trying to get comfortable in his seat.

Maybe some rest would clear his mind.

"Okay, so you two can play defence for the first half, because we've watched some of the other team's plays and they always go for the left side, so you two block them there. Innie, make sure you get in front of the other team's shooter, so we have a clear view of the net."

Jeongin nodded. "Okay."

Hyunjin stood and regarded each of his teammates in turn. They were prepared. For once, he felt focused, sharp, and fire ran through his veins as he took his position on the court, the center.

The final game.

The court was packed to the brim; the school had even hung several banners in the boys' team colours to encourage them. They could win a home game.

Students, teachers, and even the principal had come down to spectate the game, filling out the bleachers. Those who couldn't find somewhere to sit were happy enough to watch the game from the side of the court, provided they didn't distract any of the boys playing.

Hyunjin had previously felt rather nervous upon entering the court, seeing that everyone was there, but he'd told himself to focus, putting all thoughts out of his mind while he zoned in. The game was his only priority right now; everything could be dealt with after.

Including Y/n.

He hadn't seen her in the crowd; he hoped she was in there somewhere, spectating. He wanted her to be here, but he didn't have time to scan the bleachers and the crowd, instead deciding that the team should run through the tactics one more time. He'd enlisted Felix to tie his hair back; it hadn't worked the first time. His bangs were too short to be tied back, but too long and distracting to have in his face.

Grudgingly, he'd allowed Felix to loosely braid it, so that he had one of either side, his hair in a tiny little bun at his nape. It felt a little strange; it'd been so long since he had a haircut. He was used to having no hair against his neck, since he liked it short, but he found that he didn't mind the longer length either.

Also, Y/n had teasingly told him she liked the style on him when he'd sent her a picture of the group over text.

So he'd kept it.

Shaking his head, Hyunjin kept his eyes on the ball as the referee held it between them, poised to blow the whistle. There was gradual silence as the crowd settled down, waiting in anticipation to see who would get the upper hand first.

To no one's surprise, and to the enormous annoyance of the other team's center, Hyunjin's fingertips brushed the ball, sending it almost halfway down the court, where his teammate intercepted it and began dribbling towards the hoop.

Hyunjin landed lightly and quickly adjusted the black sleeve protecting his injury, before racing down the court.

Twenty minutes later and Hyunjin was beginning to become weary and exhausted; his coach called a timeout and went through a couple strategies, much to the team's relief. It'd been one of the toughest games so far, and as Hyunjin glanced up at the scoreboard, he realised they were currently at a tie.

He exhaled forcefully as the game started up again, moving to defend an opponent as Felix moved down the court with the ball. He noticed two of the other team's members moving towards Jisung as Felix passed the ball to him, and shouted out a warning.

One of the opponents budged Jisung hard with his shoulder, attempting to take the ball, and he spun, leaning over with the ball to his middle to stop them from taking it. Jisung looked up as the other opponent covered the closest team member; there was nowhere for him to pass. He glanced up at the clock as Hyunjin began to move towards him. Thirty seconds.. he could either wait it out and keep the ball, or risk passing.

If they take the ball, though, he thought. I have to keep it on our side.

Desperately, he looked to Hyunjin, who was currently being marked by an opponent. The clock began to count down, the crowd's cries becoming increasingly loud and frantic.

Twenty seconds.

Jisung barely managed to pass the ball to his friend, almost tripping, and Hyunjin exhaled as he moved towards the hoop, faster than he'd ever done in his life.

Much to his dismay, an opponent to his left brushed his arm as he reached for the ball, and nudged Hyunjin's injury, sending a shooting pain up his left arm. Crying out and dropping the ball, stumbling, he made to recapture it before someone whizzed past and stole it.

Jisung.

He had three opponents marking him now, and a clear shot of the hoop. They caged him in and Hyunjin fell unsurely, clumsy on his feet. His arm was beginning to throb sharply and it became hard to focus on anything else. He could only stand as Felix hoisted him from the ground and watch as Jisung dribbled the ball where he stood, looking for an opening.

Ten seconds.

Jisung made to move towards the hoop and was shoved roughly in the side. Hyunjin let out an outraged yelp but Felix held him back, just as Jisung fell down, shooting desperately at the hoop in a last-ditch attempt.

The buzzer rang as the ball hit the floor.

Everyone turned to look at the referee; they'd all missed the opportunity to see if the ball had gone in, and that too during the ending buzzer. There was silence as he debated the verdict, before lifting his left hand and signaling a point to Hyunjin's team.

The crowd roared in ecstasy, but Hyunjin was distracted; Jisung was on the floor, back to him, clutching his right leg.

Skidding to his knees beside his teammate and raising a hand for the medic, he glanced down desperately at his friend.

"Jisung," he gasped, panting.

His face was twisted in pain, his lips parting as he groaned softly, chest heaving. Hyunjin let the hair tie slip from his locks, his bangs falling into his face as he cradled Jisung's head.

Their coach and two medics came to assess his friend; one of them moved to take off Jisung's shoe. His ankle was already beginning to bruise severely, the swelling evident against his pale skin. Jisung cried out just as the medic attempted to move it gently to the left.

"Sung," Hyunjin whispered, the guilt flooding his system all of a sudden. "I'm so sorry, I- I got jealous, and I hurt you, and I didn't meant to ignore you for the entire tournament, it's just-"

Jisung was being helped into a sitting position, still managing to shoot Hyunjin a pained grin as he panted. "I know, Cap. Relax."

"Sung, I swear, I should have-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know you like her, by the way."

Hyunjin's head snapped up. The medics took no notice, and their coach stood to direct the others off the court. The crowd was now chattering amongst themselves, and Hyunjin was glad they weren't dead silent, staring at Jisung and his now-hurt ankle.

"Y-you knew?"

Jisung rolled his eyes despite the pain. "Yeah, I knew. It wasn't hard to tell. Besides, I decided to let you be mad at me for a while because I figured you had enough going on. You're welcome."

Hyunjin's eyes filled with tears despite the public situation. "Thanks. I'm so sorry, Jisung."

His friend waved a hand, his head lolling back a little as he hissed, the medic moving to cushion his foot. "Ah- shit, yeah, it's all good, man. I don't like her, by the way."

Hyunjin blinked at him. "You don't?"

"She's nice and all, but nah."

Hyunjin let his shoulders sag in relief. Touching Jisung's hand, he smiled at him just as a tear ran down his cheek. He felt overwhelmingly happy all of a sudden; they'd won the championship, he'd made up with his friend, and now he could finally relax now that Jisung didn't like Y/n. Of course, there was still the matter of whether Y/n liked him, or anyone for that matter, but Hyunjin brushed that thought to the back of his mind, letting it sit quiet and forgotten for the time being.

Jisung smirked at his friend, his face sweaty and flushed. "Felix has a girlfriend now. That volleyballer chick. He confessed to her before we left and they're planning to meet up. Think it's about time you did the same thing, Hyunjinnie."

Hyunjin's eyes met his friend's a little sadly. "I don't know where she is."

"Felix said he saw her walking down the corridor by her form class earlier. Apparently just chilling out by herself since we don't have classes because of the game."

Hyunjin squeezed Jisung's hand. "I don't want to leave you."

His friend waved a hand. "Go. I'll be fine, they're probably going to take me to the infirmary. We'll see you later, okay?"

Hyunjin nodded and stepped back, letting the medics lift his friend and sling an arm over each of their shoulders, carrying him off the court.

He congratulated his team briefly and shook hands with the other team before slipping out of the gym. An increasing sense of urgency settled in his stomach, each step he took fueling the fire that had been burning in his heart since he'd realised what Y/n meant to him.

Please, he thought desperately as he broke into a run. Please let her be here. I don't care that she didn't watch my game, I just want to see her.

He skidded around a corner and saw a figure sitting in one of the window alcoves, a sketchbook laying open beside them. The page was blank. Hyunjin's heart leapt so high and hard he thought he might lean over and throw it up.

Y/n.

He cried out her name and broke into an even faster run, skidding to a stop beside her. His sneakers screeched against the floor and he doubled over. It wasn't for long, though, and as he hauled himself upright, he felt a pair of arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders.

He clung to her, burying his face in her neck. She didn't seem to care how sweaty he was; her hand came up to cradle the back of his head, undoing the braids from his hair, fingers shaking.

"Hyune," she said quietly. He realised she was crying as he pulled back.

"I missed you so much," he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I missed you too. It felt like forever, I was so alone-"

Hyunjin shook his head, an unexpected tear running down his cheek. "You're not alone. You said it yourself, you never have been."

She nodded vehemently, still holding onto his shoulders. Hyunjin stepped back a little, his arms still wrapped around her waist. He took a deep breath steeling his resolve.

"Y/n, I have to tell you something."

Her voice was quiet. "Me too."

Hyunjin's heart was thudding so hard it hurt. Now that he finally had the opportunity to tell her how she made him feel, he suddenly found he didn't have the words. It all rushed out of his head in an instant as Y/n looked up at him with wide, wet eyes.

"I don't know how to tell you," he whispered.

"Show, me then."

Hyunjin inhaled sharply, his eyes not leaving her gaze. Taking her chin in a shaking hand, he stroked it affectionately across her jaw.

"Close your eyes," he whispered, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

She did.

Hyunjin leant forward slowly. Surely she knew what he was doing, touching her like this, talking to her so softly. But she didn't back away, didn't back down, just stood close to him, held in his arms, and let Hyunjin kiss her.

She tasted salt and sweat and affection and she tilted her head a little, letting her hands touch his face, though shakily and experimentally.

Pulling back after a minute, Hyunjin rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. He was still holding her waist, and her eyes were still closed. Hyunjin watched a tears slip down her cheek and brushed it away with a warm thumb before it reached her jaw.

"Please don't cry," he murmured to her.

"I'm not..."

Hyunjin chucked softly, feeling so overwhelmed he could do nothing but hold her as if she was an anchor in a stormy sea. "Am I that bad of a kisser?"

Y/n opened her eyes, looking away from him. This time, there was no teasing remark, no playful insult, and it made Hyunjin's heart soar so high he felt like he was floating. He stroked her cheek as he looked back at him, both their tears falling freely.

"You're not alone," he whispered. "You'll never be alone, Y/nnie. I promise."

Y/n nodded, running a hand over her shoulder as Hyunjin pressed two fingers to her cheek, wiping away her tears.

"I know."

Hyunjin chuckled quietly, still holding her. "Yeah? How do you know?"

Y/n smiled up at him, eyes wet. She felt a little embarrassed, but to Hyunjin, she was the most beautiful person in the world, even if she was crying.

She touched his cheek.

"Because now I have you."

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow @hhwangsmoon @steddie-steddie

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

Hey there! I’m new in Tumblr but I love your writing ❣️ So this is kinda my first time asking for a request and I was having a little idea but if you don’t like it you’re free to not do it. So…. I’m a lover for cats and I was thinking if you could have written something with the reader being a neko (I know it’s so strange) and Felix being their boyfriend. You can decide the rest of the story. That’s all. Thank you so much (at least for taking a bit of your time to read my long message). ❤️❤️❤️❤️

hi! this is a pretty unique request and i couldn't really think of a way to make it a story, so i did headcanons... hopefully that's okay. thank you for reading my writing haha, i like writing for felix. here you go!

felix x neko!reader headcanons

he loves your ears and tail

he's always stroking them in fascination

he loves how soft the are and he likes watching your tail flick back and forth

is always running his fingers through the fur and likes playing with your tail when's he bored

sometimes, when you fall asleep, your tail wraps around his wrist

it's a sign of trust

he always stays still when you do that so he doesn't end up waking you

also likes when you fall asleep on him

you curl up on his lap usually

bc it's so comfy

and just nap with your head on his thigh

he likes stroking your hair too

you have a penchant for fish dishes

so felix learned to cook all these good fish recipes that minho taught him

though quite reluctantly

but minho also loves cats so it didn't take much persuasion

felix also likes trying new styles on you

ones that match your ears and tail, whatever colour or colours they are

most often, it's a little pink or white ribbon around the base of your tail

or the tip of it

and your ears too!

he loves searching up accessories online and trying to think about what would make you look ever better than you already do

he thinks it isn't possible

honestly if we're gonna be kinky he'll have bought you a collar too

one that matches your ears and tail

you probably have two if we're gonna be real

one with a silver bell

the other with a little plaque with felix's name on it

help

anyway

you also love blanket forts and lots of pillows or basically anything you can burrow into

felix loves them too

so it's a win win situation, because you both just like to lie inside them and just sleep together

NOT LIKE THAT

i mean not unless you want it to be like that

he likes buying little cat toys too

even if you don't take to them too much, he thinks they're cute

and if you do like them?

felix would happily sit for hours watching you bat them around

he loves little strings too, waving them above your head

and watching you try and catch it

he pretty much melts in his spot

he also likes painting your claws

think enid from wednesday

again, matching the colours of your ears and tail

or just any colours

once he did them metallic

he watched in fascination as they glinted in the sun

got blinded afterwards

never again

oh well it was fun while it lasted

it also depends on whether you're an active type of neko or just a chill neko who likes to stay stationary at all times

if you're active, felix likes to take you on lots of walks and do other active things that require lots of movement

so it keeps you happy

if not, then expect lots of just chilling and sleeping around the house

either way, felix wants you to be happy

and he'll do anything to make sure you are <3

a/n: interesting...

lonely st. ✧ chapter ix : healing

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: mentions of panic attack, lots of crying, hyunjin collapses from exhaustion at one point, mild mentions of injuries and blood/bruises, hyunjin is kinda mean, best boy felix

a/n: one to go! thank you for all the love <3 please read this post before you open this chapter if you haven't already 💫

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Felix poked his friend on the shoulder. "You excited for the tournament games, Hyunjin?"

"W-what?"

"Are you excited for the tournament games?"

Hyunjin blinked blearily, trying to clear his fuzzy head. "Sure."

He was trying to focus on what Felix was saying, truly, but he just couldn't get the events of the past two days out of his head.

Sitting with Y/n in class, having her fall asleep on him at Felix's place; it was all constantly at the forefront of his mind, and he hadn't been able to sleep. Or focus. Or keep his head in the game.

Or do anything, really.

Coupled with the realisation of his newfound (or perhaps just realised) love for her, all in all, Hyunjin could do nothing but sleepily follow his friend to the bus stop, where their coach was waiting to take them down to the basketball tournament.

It would be seven days away from home; the tournament was a week long event, and normally Hyunjin would have been excited, but today, he felt off. Like he had forgotten something.

Maybe he had forgotten something.

Jisung had come over to help him pack his suitcase just the other night, since he'd forgotten about it in the bustle of having to finish homework, wrap up errands, and the neverending preparations for the upcoming games.

"Normally it's my job to forget to pack my suitcase," Jisung had said to him as he'd helped Hyunjin fold his clothes into his bags. "Feels strange seeing you so unprepared, Hyun."

Hyunjin sighed and pulled out his jacket, setting his duffel down for a moment to pull it on. Him and Felix were currently walking across the field to the coach, which was waiting at the stop a little further ahead. The sky overhead was a milky purple, streaked with light orange and the faintest shimmer of blue, gleaming through the clouds to highlight the early-morning sun, which was still halfway through rising behind them.

Hyunjin glanced at Felix, walking to his left; the blonde haired boy was walking with his head down, watching as his sneakers spread little droplets of dew across the freshly mowed grass. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were a little swollen; it wasn't uncommon for Felix to look like a sleepy chicken in the mornings, especially when they had to travel somewhere early for games.

Hyunjin assumed he probably looked the same way; he hadn't bothered to brush his hair that morning, vouching for a quick shower to wake him up instead. He'd turned the handle after stepping in and had been hit on the back with a flurry of cold water, and his spine still tingled as he relived the memory with a wince twinging at the corners of his mouth.

He hadn't been able to sleep that night, either; he'd been debating for several hours on whether to tell Y/n he was leaving for a week, and he had kept struggling with the decision as the stars had risen higher in the sky.

The night before...

Hyunjin lay in his bed, the sheets rumpled and messy, his hair in the same state. He pressed a hand to his chest, where Y/n had lay a few days earlier; he found he suddenly missed her warmth and the comforting weight of her body against his. A flush painted his cheeks suddenly, his ears dusted pink. But it faded as he picked up his phone, biting his lip.

He had to tell her about the tournament; would she be upset that he'd left it so last minute? He'd told Jisung and Felix not to mention it too much around her; they'd asked why, and Hyunjin found he didn't have an answer.

Perhaps he was worried that things would be different after he came back from the tournament; would she have had some sort of personality transplant by then? Would she have decided that he wasn't good company after all, or that she would much rather be friends with Jisung, or Felix?

The worries swirled in Hyunjin's mind and he opened the chat with Y/n, deciding to tell her anyway. Even if she did decide to hate him, he couldn't bear the fact that while he was away, she might be all alone and be wondering where he had gone. He couldn't do that to her; she deserved to know.

drama king 🏀: hey drama king 🏀: you awake?

He waited silently, his phone held over his face as he relaxed against the pillows, waiting for a response. His arm began to hurt after a few minutes so he rolled onto his side, eyes strained and watering as he glared at the screen.

y/n 🌸💫: hyunjinnie y/n 🌸💫: why are you awake its like 2 am y/n 🌸💫: are you okay?

Hyunjin exhaled in relief, feeling suddenly guilty for waking her with his impulsive actions.

drama king 🏀: sorry. i'm okay drama king 🏀: just, i wanted to tell you something y/n 🌸💫: which is?

Hyunjin let his cheeks puff up as he exhaled harshly, his head spinning slightly at the forceful puff of breath. He typed out a reply.

drama king 🏀: you know the basketball tournament i mentioned to you a while ago? y/n 🌸💫: yeah, what about it? drama king 🏀: it's tomorrow y/n 🌸💫: yeah? y/n 🌸💫: and

Hyunjin let out a little noise of surprise, running a hand through his hair. Was she baiting him, trying to catch him out? He couldn't see any other resolution; how could she have possibly known when the tournament was? He'd never mentioned the dates to her, not that he hadn't wanted to. Again, he found himself struggling to grapple with a conclusion as to why he had been so hesitant to tell her about it.

drama king 🏀: wait- you know about it? drama king 🏀: you know that i'm leaving tomorrow? y/n 🌸💫: of course i knew y/n 🌸💫: it was hard not to know, when it's all jisung talks about in math class with me. you know, when he's not busy listening to g-idle and drawing on my hands y/n 🌸💫: he's a lot of fun

Hyunjin's heart sank for some reason and a mild feeling of irritation settled in the pit of his stomach. Why did he suddenly feel so downcast? Was it because he'd been expecting her to not know about the tournament, and therefore be upset with him for not telling her beforehand? Had he wanted that?

But despite all of that, why was she directing the conversation to Jisung of all people?

Don't be stupid, he chided himself. She's just mentioning how she found out about the tournament. Don't be mad at her, or Jisung.

He typed a response, thumbs flying over his phone screen.

drama king 🏀: oh y/n 🌸💫: just 'oh'? y/n 🌸💫: what's wrong

Hyunjin switched his phone off for a few minutes, pondering her question. What was wrong? He'd been feeling so different lately, and not just because of the fact that he'd discovered his true feelings about her.

No matter how hard he tried, there was always some sort of feeling or thought just out of his reach, and it was beginning to tick him off. Usually he was composed with his feelings; he hadn't even been feeling this stuck after he'd cut Yeji off for saying nasty things about Y/n to him. No, he felt worried.

Why am I worried? Is it about the tournament? It could be. Is it because Coach told me after the last practice that I'd have to step my game up if we wanted to win the championship? Or am I doubting my skills even though I've practiced till I ached?

Am I just worried about leaving her?

y/n 🌸💫: hyunjinnie?

Her notification snapped him out of his spiraling, confused thoughts.

drama king 🏀: yeah, sorry drama king 🏀: i just drama king 🏀: i'm gonna miss you

Shit!

He hadn't meant to type that! Frantically, he propped himself up on his elbows and fumbled to navigate to the settings icon, where he switched the wi-fi off. If he was lucky, the message wouldn't go through...

Of course, no such luck.

The 'delivered' icon sat proudly on top of the risky message and Hyunjin fought to keep his phone by his side even though he felt like throwing it out the window. Y/n's typing bubble popped up and he clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to fight the urge to scream and wake everyone else in the household.

y/n 🌸💫: i'll miss you too y/n 🌸💫: but i'm not going anywhere y/n 🌸💫: you can still text me even when you leave for the tournament, you know, if you have time...

Hyunjin stared at the messages, mouth agape in disbelief. Another message popped up under the previous ones.

y/n 🌸💫: if you want to, of course

Hyunjin let a soft, relieved chuckle escape his lips. He could almost hear her frantic, shy tone as she hurriedly reassured him there was no pressure in the matter.

Even though she was saying something that was completely a choice to him, Hyunjin found it endearing that she was making sure he knew he had a choice in the first place.

He typed a response quicker than his fingers could coordinate it.

drama king 🏀: i'd like that. y/n 🌸💫: good y/n 🌸💫: now go to sleep, you maniac

Hyunjin laughed at her response, his eyes crinkling cutely at the corners as he clutched his phone tighter.

Y/n reacted to his previous message with a little black heart, signaling the end of the conversation. Hyunjin froze for a couple seconds before tossing his phone onto the bedside.

Burying his face in his pillow, he kicked his legs, unable to keep the increasingly widening smile from stretching his face til he felt it would split from the force of his happiness.

The butterflies in his stomach fluttered up and out of his throat in the form of a light, bubbly laugh that he hardly recognised as his own.

She really was sweet.

"Alright, boys, line up and I'll count you onto the coach..."

Felix took Hyunjin's arm as they lined up behind the other boys waiting to get onto the coach. They were all dressed in the same, dark tracksuit, with the school logo on the back and white stripes running down the sides of the sleeves and pants.

Hyunjin felt so sleepy he though he would drop where he stood. He looked up the front, where his basketball coach was counting on the boys in pairs.

Everything had been loaded onto the bus; in his daze of reliving the memory of Y/n the night before, Hyunjin hadn't realised that Felix had taken his stuff to be loaded, realising that he was too tired to do it for himself.

He turned and lifted Felix's hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to it in a soft, affectionate gesture. Felix smiled sleepily at him just as Jisung wrapped his arms around Hyunjin's shoulders.

"Hi!" He grinned, nuzzling into Hyunjin's neck.

Hyunjin groaned despite himself. Jisung was about the only one who was awake at the moment; Felix nodded to him subtly and sneaked the half-empty can of Monster from his bag, taking a sip and wincing at the strong, caffeinated flavour. He waved the can in Jisung's face.

"You shouldn't drink this stuff so early, Ji," he chided lightly, handing the can back to his friend, who shoved it into his bag, apparently unaware of the possible dangers of drink spillage.

Hyunjin sighed and looked ahead as Jisung whined a reply to Felix; normally, his friend's boundless energy and comedic antics would have cheered him up.

But for some reason, the pang of irritation he'd been feeling in his gut since he'd found out that Y/n had been sitting with Jisung every math class began to settle in, and this time, it was a lot faster than it had been previously.

But he wasn't sure why.

Hyunjin clenched a fist as Jisung accidentally knocked him in the back harmlessly as he re-enacted something to a friend behind them, sending him forward a step. Their coach was still counting the boys onto the bus, and Hyunjin turned just as Jisung spoke.

"Lixie pixie, wanna sit with me?" Jisung poked Felix's cheek, grinning.

"Sorry," Hyunjin cut in suddenly, aware of the suddenly brusque, cold tone in his voice. "He's sitting next to me."

Felix looked at Hyunjin in surprise, then looked back at Jisung, who had paused, his grin fading a little.

"Oh," he said, his smile returning. "That's okay. I'll sit with Innie instead."

He dropped behind them to clutch at Jeongin's arm, and began talking with him about the latest update to the game they played together, apparently unaffected.

Felix nudged Hyunjin's shoulder just as they were counted onto the coach.

"Jinnie, what's wrong?" He whispered.

Hyunjin gritted his teeth as they walked down the coach aisle, and he settled into the back corner next to the window. Felix sat down beside him, touching his knee worriedly. He made to speak, but was interrupted as their coach called out a few instructions, some of which included 'No sticking your hands out the window to flip passing strangers off' and 'No throwing chewed gum at each other'.

"Standard procedures, really," Felix murmured in Hyunjin's ear. "I wonder if the other boys' basketball teams at the tournament get instructions like that."

Hyunjin smiled despite himself, and propped an elbow against his knee as he tucked it up to his chest. Letting his head rest against the window, which was vibrating slightly with the movement of the bus, he closed his eyes.

Felix stared at him pointedly, eyes flitting to Jisung before fixing themselves on Hyunjin's figure.

"Jinnie."

"Mmm."

"What's wrong? Why'd you snap at Jisung?"

Hyunjin opened his eyes, glaring defensively at his friend. "I didn't."

Felix's voice was low. "Yeah, you did. What happened?"

Hyunjin sighed in exasperation. "Are you gonna laugh at me?"

Felix shook his head vehemently, swaying with the motion of the bus as it headed onto the freeway.

Hyunjin sighed and adjusted himself so he was more comfortably facing his friend. "It's just- I found out that Jisung sits with Y/n every math class."

Felix tilted his head. "So? I thought you didn't mind."

Hyunjin sighed again. "I didn't mind. But- now they're so close, Felix. What if- what if Y/n decides she likes Jisung more than me?"

Felix leaned his head against his friend's shoulder, tucking his knees up to his chest as he rested. "Why would she like him better?"

"Because he's funny, and easy to talk to, and a better basketball player than me, and Y/n gets along so much easier with him-"

"That's not true," Felix looked at him, taken aback. "Y/n gets along well with you. Why are you so worried? You were fine a couple days ago, Jinnie..."

"Because I like her," he blurted out suddenly.

Felix hurriedly clamped a hand over his mouth as a couple of the boys in front of them looked back at Hyunjin in interest, smirking to each other. Glaring at them, Felix waited until they turned back to the front, and lowered his voice, moving closer to Hyunjin. His eyes were wide.

"Took you long enough, man."

Hyunjin tugged on a strand of his blonde, messy hair, pouting. "Don't be mean."

Felix rolled his eyes in response, sighing dramatically. "I knew the second you started talking to her you liked her. Everything was confirmed after you both fell asleep on my couch a couple days ago."

Hyunjin whined, shoving him, trying to tone down the scarlet flush on his cheeks. "Felix!"

"It was cute!" his friend protested. "Besides, you two are adorable together."

Hyunjin groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Do you think she knows?"

Felix shrugged, looking at him pointedly. "Do you think Jisung really likes her?"

"I don't know, but he draws on her hands all the time, which has to mean he likes her, right?"

"Jinnie, he draws on your hands too most days."

Hyunjin looked down at his hands and sighed; true to his friend's word, there were faded, inky doodles of anime characters and cutesy hearts and stars all over the backs of Hyunjin's hands, worn by hand-washing and natural wear.

"Okay, fair point, but still-"

"Jinnie."

Hyunjin threw his hands up, digging through his duffel for his water bottle. His throat had gone suddenly dry. "Okay, fine. Even if Jisung doesn't like her, how am I supposed to fix this?"

"Tell her how you feel, pabo."

Hyunjin spluttered and drew the water bottle away from his mouth, water running down his chin. He thwacked himself in the chest repeatedly.

Glaring at Felix, he protested, his voice suddenly pitching several octaves higher than before. "I can't do that!"

Felix deadpanned at him. "Why not?"

"Because, then it might ruin everything-"

Felix pressed his fingers and thumb together and apart repetitively in a talking motion, rolling his eyes.

Hyunjin flicked his neck, his friend recoiling dramatically, clutching at himself.

"Oh, I am wounded-"

"Shut up." Hyunjin settled back into his seat, crossing his arms. "I just have to wait until I'm ready to tell her. If I tell her."

Felix stopped his dramatics suddenly, poking Hyunjin's shoulder. "Jinnie, if you wait til you're ready, you're gonna be waiting a long time. And who knows? Maybe she feels the same way."

Hyunjin shook his head. "She doesn't. Well, I don't know."

"Do you know that for sure?"

He shook his head again. "I don't know that either."

Felix sighed, settling back into his seat and moving his shoulders, getting comfortable. He slipped his sneakers off and tucked his feet further underneath himself.

"At least talk to Jisung about it. He'll understand."

"And what if he likes her?"

Felix grinned. "Fight to the death."

Hyunjin groaned and let his head thud against the window. The passing scenery outside faded and blurred as it began to rain lightly. A sudden downpour drew surprised explanations from some of the boys, and Hyunjin closed his eyes, hoping to try and catch up on some sleep before they arrived. It was a long bus trip anyway. He'd have plenty of time to sleep, and think over what Felix had said.

Glancing across, he noticed Felix had plugged in his headphones, and was busy listening to some sort of music video he'd downloaded on his phone.

Turning back to the window, Hyunjin traced the droplets of rain sliding down the glass pane, and thought hard. The last championship game was back at school; sort of like the finale of the tournament. Their opponents would travel to the school to verse them in a final game of basketball.

It was during the school day, too; it went from the lunch break to the end of the day. If he had time after the game, maybe he could catch her and tell her how he he felt about her.

But she'd have to show up, he reasoned. She's never not at school, though. I don't think I've ever seen her take a day off. Maybe she just likes being at school better...

He bit his lip. Could he possibly tell her over text? No, he couldn't do that. She might misunderstand something and take it the wrong way. Then everything would be ruined.

Or maybe, he could tell her over a phone call, when he got a chance alone. But there was always a risk that she would forget about the confession once he returned.

Why is this so hard?!

Hyunjin sighed and rested his head on his folded arms, moving so he was leaning onto Felix. He was far more comfortable than the window sill anyway. He lightly scratched Hyunjin's head before resuming the video on his phone.

Hyunjin shut his eyes and made a plan.

First, he would try and focus on the first few games of the tournament; that would surely guarantee an easier path to the championship title.

Then, when he had a free moment, he would find out somehow if Jisung liked Y/n.

Then, he would talk to Y/n over text when he had time, just to sus out whether there was a chance of her liking him.

Finally, he would decide whether to confess to her.

Foolproof plan, he thought to himself sarcastically as his eyelids began to droop.

What could possibly go wrong?

The dorms were wide and spacious; the boys were split into groups of four and sent off from the bus with their things. Hyunjin stopped to help Felix take his suitcase down from the bus well; in his other hand, he held the schedule for the rest of the day.

There was a long, outdoor corridor with a corrugated roof that led down to the boys' dorms; most of the schools in the prefecture had already settled into their respective rooms. There were about 20 schools competing in the tournament, but Hyunjin and Felix didn't see anyone walking around besides a couple of rowdy teenage boys bouncing a basketball.

Most of the teams had arrived several days before, and Hyunjin figured they were most likely out practicing in the main courts behind the dormitory buildings. The sun had finally risen fully, though it was hidden behind a sheen of grey, overcast clouds.

Jisung and Jeongin were already inside when the boys entered. The room smelt faintly of wood and fresh linen, and Jeongin was busy rifling through the cupboards for fresh sheets as Felix set his bag down on the nearest bunk.

There were two bunk beds, set on either side of the wall, and a door one side for the bathroom, the other door being the one they had just entered through.

Hyunjin pressed a finger to the frame of the bunk beds; it was hard steel, set in black. He shivered slightly; the room was cool.

Jisung and Jeongin had already claimed the top bunks, and Felix had sat down on his bed under Jeongin's, leaving Hyunjin the other bottom bunk under Jisung's. Not that he minded; he much preferred the bottom bunk anyway, since he was so tall. He'd had a few extremely close, unfortunate encounters with the ceiling more than once when he'd claimed a top bunk for himself in the past.

The pang of irritation he felt towards Jisung settled down for the time being as Felix handed round the schedule. Jeongin had finished making his bed and he moved to sit beside Hyunjin, reading over his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Hyunjin relaxed into the much needed comfort.

They had two hours off to unpack and freshen up, as well as explore the campus. Then they'd eat quickly in the main hall and begin stretching, warming up, and training for the rest of the evening. He looked sideways at Jeongin, who already looked exhausted.

"Today's gonna be so long," he murmured, pouting.

Hyunjin chuckled and ruffled the younger boy's hair, making him squint like a fox. "It's okay, Innie. It'll be over before you know it."

Jeongin pointedly glanced across the room at Felix, who had fallen asleep on the bed. Jisung moved and climbed off the top bunk, settling down next to Felix and wrapping an arm around his torso. They looked as tired as Hyunjin felt, but he knew that if he fell asleep, he ran the risk of missing the practices scheduled for tonight, and he knew Coach would be upset.

So he stood up, with some effort, and moved to the small bathroom to splash water on his face. It was a simple little room; with a bathtub and shower in the corner, hidden by a sliding frosted glass door, and two sinks with a large mirror hanging above it, a towel rack to its left. There was a smaller door to the right, which Hyunjin assumed to be the toilet.

He leaned over the sink, letting his hands dangle in the cold stream of water, attempting to wake himself up a bit more. He looked at himself in the mirror; he was tired and pale, the bruised colour under his eyes prominent and speaking measures to how hard he'd worked in the past few weeks, or how little he'd slept. Turning the tap off with great effort, he touched his lips with a wet finger; they were chapped and split.

"You look like shit," he told himself quietly.

"Innie, pass!"

Felix caught the ball and weaved his way down the court, effortlessly evading the blockers. The thumping of the basketball and the squeaking of shoes reverberated around the court as Hyunjin took his spot near the hoop.

His eyes flitted to Felix before checking both sides for any attackers, and he caught the ball effortlessly, years of muscle memory kicking in. He looked up and leaned onto the balls of his feet, ready to shoot; the blinding white lights overhead glared off the court and made his eyes water, like the sun was coming closer to greet him.

He jumped and shot into the hoop, his palm slapping the net. Flicking his wrist, he watched in satisfaction as the ball slipped through the net, landing on the ground with a pleasing thud.

He high-fived Felix and let Jeongin tackle him in a side hug; looking straight past Jisung, he glanced at his Coach, who nodded and turned away.

Things were looking up.

The rest of the evening practice went smoothly enough; Hyunjin managed to shoot a few more hoops and he was beginning to feel stronger with each resistance drill they went through. He tried to control his breathing as Jeongin held his feet while he did situps.

They were supposed to do forty in four sets; by the third set, Hyunjin began to feel a little dizzy. Jeongin had already done his sets, and Hyunjin could see his chest heaving as he leaned forward, holding firmly onto his sneakers as he bent his middle up and down. His abdomen ached but he pushed forward.

Just a couple more...

It was like someone had switched him off. He collapsed back onto the court, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes from the blinding white court lights. His chest heaved and his torso ached, his abs burning. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn't get up, the energy draining out of him like a broken sandglass.

"Hyunjin, you okay?" Jeongin asked in concern, letting go of Hyunjin's shoes and moving to his side. "Captain?"

He could do nothing but heave; everything hurt so badly and all he'd done was a few situps. He could see Felix and Jisung looking on in concern to his left, and he hated the sympathetic looks the other boys gave him as his coach moved to assess his state.

Stupid, he thought, tears welling in his eyes. You're so weak. Innie did the set just fine. Why can't you?

He moved to get up, gritting his teeth, and pushing Jeongin's hand off of him. But it was replaced by the larger, veiny hand of his coach, who pushed him back down onto the courts, pressing a cloth to Hyunjin's forehead.

"Take it easy," he said. "Just give yourself a couple minutes. Might need to sit tomorrow's game out."

"No," Hyunjin gasped, struggling.

Jeongin rested his hand on the captain's shoulder. "Please, Captain. You've been at it all day, even before the tournament."

Hyunjin sighed and let himself be helped up with some difficulty. He felt humiliated being helped off the court by his coach, Jeongin under his other arm.

Like he was incapable of doing it himself.

But he grudgingly accepted the waterbottle one of the other boys passed to him and he found he was glad to be sitting down, even though he'd much rather have been on the court, shooting hoops and working hard.

It felt strange to sit on the bench and watch as his teammates coordinated perfectly with each other, passing and shooting and communicating, and a strange feeling of affection and pride settled in his stomach, quelling the nausea rising in his throat and the ringing in his head.

Hyunjin knew he was prepared; he'd checked the game strategies over and over, practicing layups and his evasive techniques until he had felt like he would drop. He knew it would bear fruit, but even still, he couldn't help feeling like he could have worked harder. His teammates seemed to be doing fine in regards to the physical exertion, and he was one of the fittest on the team, so why had his body just given up on him all of a sudden?

"Jinnie, you good?"

Felix sat down next to him on the bench, gently bumping his knee with his own. He was sweaty and there was a towel around his neck.

Hyunjin hummed, not taking his eyes off the floor. "Yeah."

"You just sort of- collapsed."

"I didn't. I just felt so tired all of a sudden."

Felix took a swig of his water, exhaling. "You look really pale, man. Give yourself a break."

"I want to play."

Felix leaned back on his hands and laid one over Hyunjin's hand, which was gripping the side of the bench. "I know you do, but if you keep working so hard, you're gonna give out even worse. What are we gonna do if you drop to the floor in the middle of the game?"

Hyunjin grumbled. "The team can play without me then."

"We need our captain."

"No, you don't."

Felix looked taken aback, and perhaps a little hurt. "Jinnie, come on. Is this all because of Jisung?"

He scoffed. "No."

"Then what?"

Hyunjin gritted his teeth. "It's nothing."

"Hwang Hyunjin."

"I just don't know whether I'm good enough!" He threw his hands up. "Okay? I don't know. I haven't been doing my best."

Felix looked sad. "Hyun, you've been working harder than any of us."

"I just don't know whether it's enough."

Felix put a hand on his shoulder. "It's not about how much you can do. It's about what all of us can do. Together. You can't play basketball solo, or do anything else alone for that matter."

Hyunjin sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Then what? I know you're trying to help, but I still feel so- stuck."

Felix's voice was soft as he gazed at his friend. "Coach gave you the rest of the evening off. Take a walk or go back to the dorm and rest. Or go and talk to Y/n. Maybe she can help."

"Do you think so?"

Felix nodded. Hyunjin made to get up, nodding once to his friend in sincere thanks.

He dialled Y/n's number as he left the gym.

"So, how is it?" Y/n's voice was teasing through the phone. "Is it everything you ever dreamed of?"

Hyunjin scoffed and leaned against the railing. He was on the upper floor of the boys' dorms, leaning over over the metal bars and letting the evening breeze ruffle his hair. The lights were off too, currently, so he was bathed in a dimness that brought a strange comfort to his heart, relaxing the ache he felt in his muscles and blanketing a sense of peace over his being.

Or maybe that was just Y/n.

"Yeah, it's good."

"Just good?"

"I feel so tired for some reason," he said quietly, switching his phone to speaker mode. "I'm just worried I'm not doing enough."

Y/n's voice floated around him as he replied. It was like a warm hug. "I mean, you are captain. That comes with its own burdens and responsibilities. But you have the rest of your team to rely on too, if things go wrong."

"Felix said the same thing."

Y/n's tone became insistent. "And he's right. You don't have to do it alone."

Hyunjin scoffed again, blurting out something rather nasty. "You're one to talk."

He regretted it as soon as he'd said it; his eyebrows creased at the realisation of his own stupidity and he noticed the line had gone silent. He bit his lip.

Y/n's voice came through, softer this time. "I'm not alone. I have you, and Felix, and Jisung."

"I'm sorry, it came out so harsh, just-"

"I know, you're exhausted. You sound exhausted too. It's okay. Have you slept?"

"Not much," he said quietly, running a finger along the edge of his phone.

Y/n let out a little chuckle. "Do me a favour."

"Yeah?"

"Are you in your dorm, or your room or whatever?"

Hyunjin glanced out over the railing, the night breeze lifting his hair from his forehead and providing some much-needed relief. "No."

"Go to your dorm."

Hyunjin did as she said, letting himself fall silent save for the sound of his footsteps as he headed to his room. Shutting the door behind himself, he glanced around the dark, empty room. He switched Jeongin's little portable puppy lamp on, bathing the room in a soft, golden glow.

"Okay, I'm here."

"Open your bag. The red and black one."

He did so.

"Go to the left pocket."

Hyunjin paused, feeling suspicious. "There better not be something alive and kicking in my bag, Y/nnie."

She laughed, the sound high and pretty, though a little manic. "Nah, you're good. Go ahead, open the pocket."

Hyunjin put his phone down beside him and unzipped the inner pocket. Inside was a sleek cardboard box with a pull tab at the top and a paper of some sort. He could hear Y/n giggling away on the line.

Bringing both the items to his face, Hyunjin realised what they were. A box of Y/n's trademark colourful bandaids and a little note. He unfolded it and set the bandaid box down gently.

Good luck with the basketball tournament, Hyune! Cheering for you, just make sure you don't fall over too much. The bandaids are just in case you do. For the love of everything, make sure you take care of yourself too.

Y/n

Tears welled up in Hyunjin's eyes. "Are these for me? How- how did you do it?"

Y/n chuckled. "I got Felix to sneak them into your bag for me. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I love it. Thank you so much. I lo-"

He froze. Taking a deep breath, he fought to stay composed. His voice had gone quieter.

"I really miss you, Y/n."

"It's been a day, Hyune. Can I call you that?"

"Yeah, but still. And sure."

There was a pause on the other side of the line. Then Y/n spoke in a quiet, hesitant voice.

"I miss you too, Hyune."

Then she ended the call.

Hyunjin blinked for a few seconds, stunned. He sat down heavily and picked up the bandaid box. Y/n had doodled his signature little ferret next to the brand label and drawn a tiny heart and star next to it.

Hyunjin sat in the lamplight and cried.

"Lix, time to get up."

"Nauhh.."

Hyunjin sighed, adjusting his feet on the steel ladder of the bunk bed, and leaning over the top to look at Felix. All he could see of his friend was his fluffy, messy head of blonde hair and a stray foot poking out the bottom of the bed. He tugged lightly on a strand of Felix's hair and climbed onto the bed entirely.

Laying down next to his friend, he ignored the shouting and whining coming from the bathroom, most likely Jeongin and Jisung fighting over who got to use the bathroom first.

"Lix," he murmured, pulling the covers away. "Come on. First game of the tournament."

"I don't want to.."

Hyunjin sighed. "Would you rather stay here and sleep?"

"Duh."

Rolling his eyes and feeling no irritation whatsoever, Hyunjin brushed a gentle finger down Felix's cheek, whispering sweet nothings to him until he woke up entirely. He really did look like a sweet, sleepy chicken.

Once Felix had climbed down from his warm nest on his bunk with some gentle coaxing and promises of a biscuit from the breakfast in the main hall, Hyunjin freshened up himself, slipping on a plain dark shirt and shorts. Jisung had already left to catch them all seats and Jeongin was busy making a phone call to someone outside. Hyunjin took Felix's hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and told him go ahead to Jisung at the main hall.

"I have something to do," he said quietly to him.

Hyunjin shut the dormitory door and sank down against it, the floor cold against his bare feet. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. All he had to do was get through the day and do his best in the game.

He was the captain and the star player.

He could win one basketball game.

Exhaling, he stood and took his jersey from his bag, slipping out of his plan shirt and pulling his shorts on. He took his sneakers from their bag and opened the door of the dormitory. He began walking down the hallway, letting his bare feet pad against the concrete, socks shoved in his pocket. He rounded the corner and immediately ducked behind it, almost hitting his head on the wall. His heart pounded as he processed what he'd just seen.

Felix was standing next to the entrance to the gym, talking to a girl.

A girl.

What the heck? I thought it was just the boys' tournament here!

Peeking around the corner, he stared curiously at the girl. She was of average height with long, sleek, dark hair and a blonde streak through it. She was wearing a sleeveless jersey and a pair of shorts. There were black arm and knee pads on her joints, and some of the blonde streak in her hair was falling into her face.

She must a volleyballer. Jeongin told me a while ago that their tournament included a short stop here. Maybe that's it.

Hyunjin watched on nosily as the girl teasingly hit Felix on the shoulder, nothing more than a testing touch. He smirked as his friend blushed, laughing and responding in what looked like a shy, shaky way. The girl laughed in the same manner.

Awkward idiots, Hyunjin thought with a grin. He checked his watch; he had a couple minutes before the game commenced. Hopefully Felix would come to his mind and realise he had a team waiting for him.

Hyunjin turned and took the long way around to the court.

The gym was a hustle and bustle of different teams and coaches in a variety of different colours of uniforms, some on the court, some off. Most of the teams were split amongst their assigned courts, most training and warming up with their respective coaches. Hyunjin navigated to the back court, where his own team was, and began to help the younger members stretch and go over game tactics.

Felix came in just as everyone began to line up to bow to the other team, skidding into place next to Hyunjin, who shook hands with the other team's captain before stepping back into place.

"Forgot about the game, hmm?" He murmured, smirking.

Felix scoffed. "Forgot about breakfast, did you?"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, keeping them then trained on the opponent's captain. "Shut up. Make sure your little girlfriend doesn't make you late next time."

Felix went red, not looking at Hyunjin as the referee went through the standard procedures for the game. "Could say the same thing about you and Y/n. But sure, I won't be late next time. Sorry, Captain."

Hyunjin playfully patted Felix's back as they took their positions on the court. Hyunjin stood, poised and knees bent, eyes fixed on the ball that the referee held between him and the opponent's power forward. He'd done this plenty of times; the ball toss was one of the reasons he was the star player of the team.

The whistle blew and Hyunjin leapt, almost feeling his opponent's chest brush against his own. He slapped it out of reach and Hyunjin landed lightly, sprinting after it and beginning to weave his way down the court with Jeongin.

Four hoops and thirty minutes later, Hyunjin sat down on the bench, congratulating his team members on their performance so far. He took a swig of water and wiped his face with a towel. The note from Y/n was tucked into the pocket of his shorts, zipped up, and Hyunjin reached a finger inside to touch it lightly.

It was like his little lucky charm.

The red numbers on the clock read five minutes left as the game resumed.

Four.

Hyunjin passed to Felix, who ducked from an opponent and passed to Jisung, who made his way down to the hoop, where Hyunjin was sprinting.

Three.

Eyes fixed on his friend and ready to receive the ball, Hyunjin took a step back, almost crossing the boundary line.

Two.

Stumbling, he ducked under his opponent's arm and stepped in front of him, eyes fixed on the ball as it flew through the air to him.

One.

Catching it and almost slipping, he leapt and shot into the hoop above him, his torso twisting awkwardly to accommodate the shot.

The buzzer rang loudly as the ball fell through the hoop. Landing, Hyunjin slipped as his opponent shoved him harshly in the ribs.

He fell hard on his side and found a smile gracing his sweaty face, though he felt winded. Trying to suck air into his lungs and almost laughing at their first victory, he struggled into a sitting position, cradling his left forearm.

Felix and Jeongin tackled him in a hug, Jisung lifting him up. Hyunjin didn't even notice, overwhelmed by the realisation that they'd won the game and the slowly increasing throbbing pain in his forearm.

Ten minutes later, Hyunjin sat in the gym infirmary, cradling his arm as the nurse wrapped a bandage around it, throwing the bleeding tissues in the bin. He'd fallen and scraped it, resulting in a nasty friction burn and an even nastier bruise. His wrist hurt a little but the nurse assured him it would fade.

Felix sat grinning in the corner, having walked him to the infirmary in the first place. He was as sweaty and exhausted as Hyunjin felt, though a disapproving glare twinged his features.

"That guy shoved you really hard," he stood and stretched after the nurse had left.

"Yup," Hyunjin grinned. He wasn't even angry, flushed with the sheen of victory. "Oh, well."

Felix peered at the bandage. "Gonna use one of Y/n's bandaids?"

Hyunjin nodded, turning his forearm over and stroking a finger along the interior, feeling the rough bandage under his fingertip. It had looked pretty bad and had bled even more, but he knew he could push on til the end of the tournament. Until he saw Y/n, he was going to work as hard as he could.

He could hold out til then.

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lonely st. ✧ chapter viii : the breaking point

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: y/n has a bad panic attack, mentions of ed, y/n has trouble eating, felix and his mom, mentions of throwing up, medication, and racing thoughts

a/n: this chapter is really long i can't lie. i got carried away *laughs in obsessed, traumatized writer*

series masterlist | skz masterlist

"Oh, it's so warm in here," Hyunjin groaned, flopping into a chair. Y/n took a seat next to him cautiously, settling down warily and glancing around the store.

Bbokari's was exactly as Felix had said; a convenience store lined with rows and rows of snacks, household items, hygiene products, and even pet food. Not that it was uncommon, but sometimes it still threw Y/n to realise that people actually owned pets. Since she'd never had one of her own, she found herself wondering what owning an animal really entailed.

It can't be much different from taking care of Jisung, she reasoned idly.

The store lights overhead were golden, casting a warm glow over the four teens. The store was bigger than it had initially looked from the outside, with the main part of it being taken up by the shop items. A wall fridge ran along the left side of the store, filled with frozen products and treats, as well as a small, separated section for antibiotics and over-the-counter medications.

There was a small staircase up the back, lining the wall and leading up to what Y/n assumed to be Felix's house on the upper level. A countertop sat in front of it, where there were several automatic checkouts and a manual cashier box. Currently, no one was manning the cashier station.

She looked around from where she was currently sitting; this part of the store was set out like a little cafe; mismatched chairs and tables sat upon the polished, recently-cleaned wooden floors, sectioned off from the shiny linoleum of the convenience aisles.

There was a high bench with tall stools and a large window that ran the length of the wall, giving Y/n a view out into the street beyond. She could see little flowers and plants bobbing their heads and leaves against the glass, moving in the cold, post-storm wind.

On the opposite side from the window, there was another wall and a long wooden countertop, on which sat several microwaves, a kettle, a coffee maker, and a small cupboard containing tea and coffee additions. Y/n noticed there was also a large biscuit jar with a little scribbled drawing of a chicken on the glass, with 'FELIX' written underneath it.

She settled back in her chair; Felix had gone upstairs to fetch something, and had told them to wait downstairs. Jisung and Hyunjin were busy fighting over the last chip from the bag they'd nicked from Felix's lunchbox, and Y/n sat quietly and observed them, not having much else to do apart from survey her surroundings.

She turned just as Felix came down the staircase, weaving amongst the shelves before standing in front of them, breathless.

"Sorry, I had to go check where my mom was. She's out the back but she'll be in soon, so we can go upstairs."

The boys moved to get up, Jisung snatching the chip from between Hyunjin's lips, and followed Felix. Y/n did the same, weaving through the shelves and standing beside him in the middle of the snack aisle. Felix turned back to her as Jisung and Hyunjin began taking food from the shelves, clearly comfortable with their surroundings.

"Take whatever you want," he smiled at her kindly. "You don't have to pay because it's your first time here."

Y/n waved her hands, stuttering. "N-no, it's okay, I'll pay."

Felix opened his mouth to protest before a gentle, warm hand found its way onto her shoulder. Turning, she locked eyes with a taller, older woman with kindly eyes and dark hair tied up in a loose, messy knot. She smiled down at Y/n and it was immediately reminiscent of Felix's easygoing, casual grin, albeit tinged with a motherly kindness.

"Please, feel free to take whatever you like. No need to pay," she said, her voice soft and hospitable. "I insist."

Y/n's head buzzed. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting when Felix had said his mom, but it hadn't been this. She was so nice, and- normal.

"H-hi," she stuttered up at the woman, feeling like a small, lost child in the presence of this motherly figure.

Felix stepped up beside her, placing a gentle hand on Y/n's upper back. "Mom, this is Y/n. She's my new friend."

The woman nodded kindly at Y/n, her eyes crinkling at the corners in a warm smile. "Nice to meet you, Y/n. Please, call me Auntie. Everyone does."

"Okay," Y/n whispered, feeling suddenly warm at Felix's choice of phrasing. New friend.

The older woman smiled, nodding. She glanced behind the two of them to Hyunjin and Jisung, who were busy fighting yet again, this time over a packet of ramen buldak noodles.

Someone called out something from a door in the corner near the fridges, which Y/n assumed led out to the back supply area.

"Auntie, someone's calling for you," Jisung shouted cheerfully, his hands still tangled around Hyunjin's as they fought for the ramen packet.

She laughed, ruffling Felix's hair. "Thank you, Jisung. I need to go now, but have fun, Y/n. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

She leaned down to Y/n and patted her shoulder, giving her a conspiratorial wink. "Maybe you can teach my son some manners while you're here."

"Mom," Felix protested, fighting a laugh. His mother brushed past him with a laugh even softer and went out the door, shutting it behind herself.

Felix took Y/n's shoulders and turned her towards the shelves, stocked with a variety of tasty snacks and colourful packets.

"Go on," he said encouragingly, before turning to wrestle the ramen packet out of Jisung and Hyunjin's hands.

With Felix's attention off of her, Y/n gulped, frozen in the middle of the aisle. The packaged foods seemed to taunt her with their cutesy cartoon characters and colourful patterns, and their shiny plastic coverings and packages made her eyes hurt as they shone against the golden lights hanging overhead.

She began to feel a bit sick.

Felix and his mother had insisted she take something without the need to pay for it, which meant she had to eat something. In front of Felix and his friends. And he would certainly pinpoint that something was off if she insisted she wasn't hungry. Not for the first time did she half-heartedly curse his unusually perceptive nature.

She swallowed a thick wad of saliva, trying to quell the growing grumbling in her stomach. Sucking her stomach in a little, she exhaled with some difficulty, feeling like she'd been punched hard in the gut all of a sudden.

Trying to suck air into her lungs, but feeling winded, she looked around, eyes darting increasingly quickly around the room. She looked everywhere but she couldn't see at all, unable to focus on anything but the growing buzzing sensation spreading up her neck, settling into the crevices of her hands and ankles.

She suddenly felt wobbly on her feet and her hand moved to fidget frantically with the strap of her bag, unfocused and shaky.

Hyunjin and Jisung were still whining and arguing loud enough that Y/n's frantic, uneven breathing couldn't be heard over the din. She stood, mouth parted, unable to do anything but stare at the shelf and hyperventilate, feeling absolutely stupid and pathetic.

Felix finally managed to disengage the now-crushed ramen packet from the boys' laser-tight grip and shoved them both down the aisle, scolding them lightly. Both of them disappeared around the corner to the fridges, bickering lightly about some nonsense.

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Felix deposited the colourful packet back onto its rightful place on the shelf before turning around. His eyes widened at the sight of his friend. He gazed at her in mild confusion, not understanding.

"Y/n?" He asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

Felix's panic grew as Y/n shook her head shakily, unable to speak. He looked around for something that might help her calm down, finding nothing but wanting nothing more than to help his friend.

Jisung's had panic attacks before, he told himself firmly, composing himself. He always said that anything cold helps to ground him. Or physical contact... But I might scare her if I touch her suddenly. Should I go get Mom? Or would that make it worse?

Hyunjin, who had come round the corner again, presumably to complain about Jisung, noticed Felix standing motionless next to a hyperventilating Y/n, his hands out, unsure and worried.

"Y/n," he whispered, his mind going blank. Dropping his bag onto the floor, Hyunjin rushed down the aisle, moving to stand next to Felix. He placed a gentle hand on Y/n's arm, her body turning slightly to seek out his touch like a drawing magnetic force.

He enveloped her in a firm, warm hug, letting his chin rest on the top of his head, him having always been taller than her. Felix touched Hyunjin's shoulder and padded down the aisle, his mind set on distracting Jisung so Hyunjin and Y/n could have some privacy.

"It's okay," Hyunjin whispered to her, feeling her hands ball in the fabric of his blazer. "Don't worry."

"I'm sorry," she gasped into him, her voice faraway and timid, broken through with heaving pants.

Hyunjin shook his head, eyes closing as he stroked her hair in a reassuring, constant pattern. "Don't be sorry. It's okay. Can you take a deep breath?"

Y/n leaned back slightly and took in a shaking, hesitant draw-in of breath, Hyunjin encouragingly patting her back.

"There you go," he cooed at her, fighting the urge to kiss the top of her head.

'I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"Don't be. What happened, hmm?"

Y/n bit her lip, face still buried in Hyunjin's chest. He was so warm, and he smelled good. In the quietest voice, so small she was sure he wouldn't hear, she spoke.

"I can't eat," she said helplessly. "It's so difficult and my mind won't stop-"

Hyunjin peered down at her, glancing over his shoulder as Jisung and Felix went up the stairs. Felix shot him a subtle wink and Hyunjin nodded, turning his attention back to Y/n.

"That's okay. Have you eaten today?"

Silence.

Hyunjin sighed. "Let's get you something small to eat, okay?"

"No," Y/n protested fearfully, stomach churning.

"Just a little bit, hmm? Maybe you should rest first. Should I walk you home?"

"No," Y/n repeated instantly. She clutched tighter at him, her face burying further into his chest. "No, no, I can't go, I-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he quieted her gently. "Let's go upstairs to the others and you can just rest, okay? They won't say anything, I promise."

Y/n's voice was sad and subdued as she replied. "I ruin everything, Hyunjinnie."

Hyunjin's heart constricted and he tilted her chin up at him, feeling affection course through his veins at her vulnerable expression. "You don't ruin anything, Y/n. I need you to know that. And I'm proud of you."

She sniffed. "But I didn't do anything."

"I'm still proud."

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Can you walk?" He asked her gently. She shook her head, taking an experimental step.

She could walk, but she felt that any sort of effort-draining movement like walking or going up the stairs would probably make her disintegrate into little Y/n-shaped pieces on the linoleum. And if she was being honest, she didn't really feel like letting go of Hyunjin. She expected him to step back and tell her that she would be fine, and that she could walk up the stairs herself. Either that, or if he was feeling kind, he would take her arm and guide her up the stairs.

What she hadn't expected was Hyunjin looping an arm around the backs of her knees and putting the other around her shoulders before lifting her bridal-style from the ground with little to no effort at all.

"Hyunjin," she squeaked, clutching his shoulder, deathly afraid of falling.

He just chuckled and began walking up the stairs, holding her close to his torso. Y/n looked up at him, feeling the buzzing in her hands and feet subside as it was replaced with Hyunjin's warmth, bleeding into her body and caressing her skin through her uniform.

She leant her head cautiously on his shoulder, and Hyunjin was glad her head was laid on the right side of his torso, so she wouldn't be able to feel his heart practically beating out of his chest.

He set her down at the top of the stairs, pushing her gently into the large, open-plan living room. There was a small countertop sectioning off a kitchenette in the far corner, and two doors led into what Y/n assumed to be Felix's and his mother's separate rooms. There was a door on the opposite side that presumably led to a bathroom.

Ahead of them, Jisung and Felix sat on a plush couch facing a TV on a long, low cabinet, and sunlight spilled in great amounts through the mid-to-ceiling length window next to it.

There was a smaller, low table in front of the couch and Jisung was eagerly leaning on it as he pressed the buttons on his controller, apparently playing some sort of game with Felix on the TV. There was a fluffy, creamy, well-worn rug under the coffee table, matching the colour of the walls.

All of the furniture was cream, beige, or a light shade of brown, save for the mismatched cushions on the couch, making the room seem as bright, comforting, and cheery as Felix's warm smile.

Jisung groaned as his character took damage, sagging back onto the foot of the couch. He looked across and gestured Hyunjin and Y/n over.

"Wanna play?" He asked, offering the controller to Y/n.

She shook her head, suddenly exhausted, and Jisung nodded understandingly, turning back to the TV. Felix smiled empathetically at her over his shoulder, nodding his head at her in a silent question.

Y/n nodded back and a grateful smile ghosted her features as Felix moved to turn the video game's volume down. Hyunjin took a snack from the haphazard assortment on the coffee table and passed a little packet of sweets to Y/n, collapsing comfortably onto the couch.

She took the packet and sank down onto the cushions next to him. letting out a soft groan as it enveloped her body. Closing her eyes, and glancing across at Hyunjin, who was apparently busy watching Jisung play on his controller, she hesitantly took a sweet and put it in her mouth, letting the tangy flavour burst on her tongue.

A momentary surge of energy filled her and she moved to take her blazer off, leaning into the cushions. Her shoulder brushed Hyunjin's and he turned to her, his voice low and reassuring so only she could hear.

"You okay?"

She nodded, unable to stop her eyes from drooping. Hyunjin let out a soft chuckle and pulled her gently closer, guiding her head to rest on his shoulder. His heart jolted in his chest, though he'd been the one to initiate the contact.

The butterflies in Y/n's stomach slowly settled down to rest as her eyes sank shut with exhaustion.

Hyunjin sleepily opened his eyes.

The sunlight filtering into the room had dimmed slightly, taking on a warm, rosy glow, the kind that came with a late, slightly cloudy afternoon. He relished its warmth for a few moments before looking around the room.

He was alone; where Jisung had been sitting with Felix, playing a video game on the TV, there was only a small patch of ruffled, creamy rug to show that he'd ever sat there. Felix himself was nowhere to be seen; he was most likely downstairs, helping out his mom with the store.

Hyunjin moved to stretch an arm over his head, suddenly feeling a great weight on his chest. He was draped over the plush, comfortable couch, long legs bent as he slouched against the arm. His head was cushioned against a pillow which he recognised to be Felix's. He must have put it there after he'd fallen asleep.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, looking down to see why he felt so weighed down. His heart jolted suddenly and began to attempt to escape his ribcage altogether.

Y/n was fast asleep against his chest.

Hyunjin gulped before laying his head back against the pillow, shuffling slightly under her as he readjusted. He hoped she wouldn't be woken by the banging of his heart inside his chest.

Gathering his wilting courage, he looked down at her; Y/n's face was as serene as he'd ever seen it, untroubled and at peace, with the relaxed expression that came when one slept.

Her hand was resting against his lower torso, fingers tangled into the fabric of his sweater vest. He realised his blazer was draped over her; Felix must have put it there, or Jisung. He didn't remember taking it off himself.

He wondered for a second what she might look like wearing his blazer; would the sleeves be too long for her? Would it hang past down her hips, or would the scent of his cologne weaved into the fabric mix with her body spray?

Hyunjin shook his head, feeling a little dizzy. He considered attempting to move her off of him, but decided against it; she needed to rest. And he had no intention of ruining the quiet, serene moment he'd somehow found himself in.

His hand shook as he lightly traced the curve of her head, feeling the soft, fluffy strands of her hair brush against his fingertips. His heart thudded so loud he could hear it in the quietness of the room, and he brought his hand up to his face, rubbing it tiredly against his cheek. His elbow accidentally bumped her head in the process and he froze, wondering if he'd woken her. He hadn't.

Phew.

Hyunjin let his head fall back onto Felix's pillow, mind wandering. Was it weird that he liked having her close like this? Or was it crossing the line? They were friends, after all...

And besides, she'd just had a panic attack. It wasn't wrong of him to stay close to her and comfort her. That was what she needed; comfort, and affection. All he was doing was taking care of her.

He let his lips part, a soft exhale puffing out of them. Letting his hand rest gingerly on her back, he drew absentminded patterns on the fabric of his blazer. Y/n shifted a little and Hyunjin's head snapped up to look at her, before settling back down with a sigh of relief.

Was it wrong to be this comfortable around her? Surely, as friends, it was fine. He wasn't doing anything wrong. It was normal.

This is normal, he told himself firmly. It's like if Jisung fell asleep on top of me. Which he has. But just because she's a girl, it doesn't mean it has to be any different.

He jumped a little as his phone buzzed. Checking quickly to see if he'd jostled Y/n, he pulled it out from the pocket of his blazer. It was a notification from one of the sports websites he followed.

Noticing a message alert, he distractedly checked his texts, forgetting about the sports site. There was one new message, which had been sent over half an hour ago.

He clicked on it.

sung 🎧: did you get home good? i did

That's right, he remembered. Jisung left early, and alongside Felix, the boys had made it their tradition to check if the others had got home safe. Suddenly, Hyunjin felt bad for not replying. He typed quickly, hoping he was still online.

hyun 🤡: sorry, i fell asleep. i'm still at felix's.

Jisung replied characteristically quickly; a knowing smile graced Hyunjin's elegant features. Jisung was always quick to respond to texts.

sung 🎧: ahh i see sung 🎧: i thought you got murdered sung 🎧: i was hoping to get your inheritance 😔

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, typing back.

hyun 🤡: how kind of you hyun 🤡: also, change my damn contact hyun 🤡: you're the clown here, not me *'sung 🎧' changed 'hyun 🤡' to 'hyun bun 🍑'* hyun bun 🍑: jisung, ew! sung 🎧: i can't lie man sung 🎧: all those squats at basketball practice did you good

Hyunjin groaned, cheeks scarlet, and turned his phone off, tossing it onto the creamy rug below the couch, where it fell face-down, unharmed.

Resting his hand behind his head, he tilted slightly so he was looking up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. He could rest for a little longer. Not that he was able to get up; Y/n was still fast asleep, and he was losing feeling in his legs, which felt all staticky, but he didn't mind.

His mind wandered back to his previous train of thought; was it wrong for him to be holding her like this? She needed the comfort, and Hyunjin didn't realise it until he stopped and really thought about it, but he needed the comfort too.

When was the last time he'd been held for this long?

Rather, when was the last time he'd felt so loved? So seen?

Sure, he loved Jisung and Felix, and his family and everyone else who held a shred of meaning to him, but with Y/n, it felt different. Like his whole life, he'd been standing behind a steamed-up mirror, where people had only been able to see him distantly, and now Y/n had wiped away the condensation and seen him for who he was. Who he really was. And it scared him.

What if she didn't like him for who he really was? She'd been quieter around him lately; maybe it was a sign that she wished to pull away, that she didn't want to be friends with him anymore... Just the thought made his heart constrict. He couldn't lose her. She meant so much to him now, with her quiet but interesting nature, her amazing sketches and creative talents, her cool collection of keychains and pins and badges...

And he felt safe around her, like he could tell her anything and she would just listen. Without judging or making fun of him. He was sure, if she extended a hand, he'd take it without a singular shred of doubt in his mind. Even if he didn't know where she was leading him, he knew it would be somewhere warm, somewhere safe, somewhere where he was totally, unequivocally loved.

And it wasn't just that, either; Y/n understood him. More than he had initially realised, she'd been picking up on his body language, on his little habits.

Just the other day he'd seen her in the gym, tossing a basketball around the court by herself. And he'd wanted to join her so badly, but a part of him feared that if he got too close, Y/n would walk away. She would leave the same way she feared he would do to her.

Like a tug of war, you could never win until the other person gave in. And Hyunjin wanted it so badly. He wanted to tug on the rope and pull her closer and closer, and he wanted her to want it.

He wanted her to feel loved by him, but if he pulled too harshly, she would fall. And Hyunjin knew that if she fell, everything he'd worked so hard to build would all come crashing down on him like a colossal tidal wave, washing away any evidence of what was and what could have been.

Was it possible to become closer than they already were? Or was he already pushing it? It was the last thing he wanted, after he'd toiled so hard to bring her close, was to be the reason to push her away. He was grateful for the fact that she wasn't as wary around him as she had been, but he wanted more.

Was it wrong to want more?

Or was it too risky? He didn't know how much longer he could stay in this stalemate, torn between pulling back and pushing further. What if he became the reason she went over the edge? What did he want so badly, anyway? Was it her attention? Her affection?

No, he reasoned. She's given me both of those things before and I never wanted more of it like I do now. It's something else.

But what? What did he want so badly? Did he want her all to himself? Or was that just him being jealous? But why would he be jealous in the first place? Surely, if you loved someone, it wasn't possible to be jealous of them in the first place, since they were already yours-

Wait, loved?

Hyunjin's heart dropped out of his ribcage and plummeted until it reached somewhere around his knees.

He didn't love her, right? Surely not. He hadn't even known her for a long time. Usually you were supposed to be close friends with someone for a long, long time before you liked them... That was the only way it worked.

Love, Hyunjin concluded to himself, was only something that could be achieved through years of close friendship. And then the famed symptoms would kick in; feeling nervous around the person, increased heartrate in their presence, dreaming about them, not being able to think straight when they did something like brush your shoulder or walk home with you or fall asleep in your arms-

Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling a lot hotter than he had a minute before. The realisation slapped him in the face, as if someone had slapped him hard across both his cheekbones and punched him in the gut for good measure.

He was in love.

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow @hhwangsmoon @steddie-steddie

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

lonely st. ✧ chapter vii : the people who care

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: usual warnings (see masterlist for all), descriptions of a panic attack, nightmares, fainting, jisung cries, mentions of eating, mentions of feeling isolated

a/n: this chapter starts off a little darker so please read the warnings before continuing ! <3

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Hyunjin woke with a jolt, covered in sweat.

His hair was plastered to the back of his neck, bare chest heaving with exertion, like he'd just run a marathon. His hands clenched the bedsheets beside his hips as he tried to calm himself down, processing what he'd just dreamed.

Glancing across to the mirror in the corner of his room, he noticed his cheeks were rosy in the reflection, his ears burning scarlet. He took a deep breath and he stood shakily, feeling unusually unsteady on his feet. He felt sick.

He moved to the mirror and inspected his reflection before turning abruptly on his heel, unable to bear the sight of his own face, reflected back scared and pale in the darkness of the room.

Sighing and moving to the bathroom, he noticed how dark it was outside. He'd woken ridiculously early, though he didn't notice, too focused on splashing cold water on his face, trying to cool himself down.

Inhaling shakily, he leant over the sink, trying to forget the images burnt into his mind. Feeling a wave of nausea pass over him, his knees gave out without warning and he awkwardly hit the tiled floor with a thud, head lolling back against the sink cabinet.

Hyunjin closed his eyes.

Everything was quiet and dark.

Hyunjin felt serene, like he was underwater, surveying the lights and chaos going on above the surface. The sounds around him felt muffled and distant, like the feeling of water seeping into his ears.

He stretched an arm out, feeling hazy and disconnected from his limbs. He moved his fingers faintly, feeling numb, like he was watching someone else's arm move instead of his own. He was just a presence floating delicately in the air, sinking til he met the ground.

He saw Y/n above the surface; her outline blurred and faded by the ripples of water. He thrashed wildly, though he had no strength, trying to reach her. But it was like a boulder had been tied to his ankles, and he sank further into the abyss...

He screamed underwater and a stream of bubbles left his mouth, water gurgling in his lungs as he screamed with everything he had left.

Y/n, come back!

He felt himself being lifted out of the water, the water dripping off him and leaving him feeling heavy and saturated. Someone tugged on his arm as he began to sink back down, into unconsciousness. A faint burst of sunlight broke through the hazy, foggy mass surrounding him like a cloying perfume. He heard voices, calling out to him, frantic and strained.

"Hyunjin! Hyunjin, wake up!"

"Hyunjin!"

"HYUNJIN!"

He took a heaving, shuddering breath, his cloudy eyes opening to meet Jisung's.

He looked as worried as Hyunjin had ever seen him; through the fog hanging over his head, he noticed his friend's face was pale and his eyes were rimmed in red, like he'd been crying. His voice sounded faraway.

"Felix, he's awake!"

The blonde haired boy rushed in, holding a bottle of water. Though the sink was directly above them, Felix knelt down and uncapped the bottle, jerking it so a gush of the water hit Hyunjin squarely in the face.

He coughed, some of it going down his throat. Leaning over, he propped himself up on his elbows. His lower half was spread across the tiles, and he felt numb; he wasn't sure he could stand. His head throbbed suddenly and he let himself be pulled into Jisung's lap, gasping weakly.

Jisung scoffed despite the singular tear streaking down his cheek. "Felix, I said he was awake. You didn't have to splash the water."

Felix shrugged worriedly, looking at Hyunjin.

Jisung stroked his friend's hair, trailing a hand down his shoulder in a soothing pattern. His voice was low and cracked.

"Hyunjin, what happened?"

Felix followed up his friend's concerned question.

"Yeah, man. We were supposed to hang out this morning, and Jisung kept calling you because you didn't show up. And I tried contacting you too, but when you didn't respond after forty minutes, we got worried and came here.

We knew you were home alone because you told us your parents were away for a couple weeks on a trip, so we figured something happened."

Jisung whispered, his voice echoing in the silent space.

"We found you passed out right here and both of us freaked. You've been out for who knows how long..."

Hyunjin coughed and sat up. True to Jisung's word, he was still in his boxers, which he'd slept in, and his upper back hurt from where he'd slumped against the cabinet. His head hurt a little too and he was fighting to stay awake.

Felix shared a worried glance with his friend, biting his lip. "Hyunjin, can you stand?"

He weakly shook his head.

Both boys slipped an arm around Hyunjin's torso, lifting him from the tiles and through to his bedroom. Felix knelt in front of his friend, keeping a hand on his knee to ground him.

His voice was soft. "What do you remember, Hyunjinnie?"

Hyunjinnie.

Wasn't that what Y/n called him the other day? Hyunjinnie.

The images from his nightmare flooded back into his mind, flashing and searing, tossing him under waves, making his head spin. He saw Y/n's smile, her hands delicate and pretty as she held her pencil, sketching image after image. She looked up just as he threw a basketball to her, grinning.

His left hand ached suddenly, his fingers closing around nothing, missing the feeling of her warm hand in his, like when she'd held it in the classroom. A singular, whispered phrase swum between the racing thoughts and flashing images in his mind.

I missed you too, Hyunjinnie.

"Don't leave me," he cried weakly to her, gasping, though she wasn't there, much to his distress.

Felix's voice was shaky as he moved to comfort his friend. "Hyunjin, it's okay. We're not going anywhere, just breathe-"

"I can't-"

"Shh, it's okay, we got you. Don't worry, just in and out, okay? You can do it, just breathe with us..."

Jisung murmured to Hyunjin in soft, soothing tones, Felix rubbing his knees, trying to calm him.

Felix tilted Hyunjin's chin up after a while, wiping away his friend's tears, though they were immediately replaced.

"Y/n-" Hyunjin cried weakly.

Felix and Jisung shared a surprised, worried glance. Piecing the events together, Jisung rubbed his friend's back, whispering to him reassuringly.

"Hyunjin, it's okay."

Felix nodded. "Y/n's not going anywhere. Did you dream about her?"

Hyunjin nodded, a hiccupping sob escaping his mouth.

"I want her to come back.."

"Wait, so he thought I died?"

Y/n's voice sounded through Felix's phone speaker as he paced, feet padding across the sunlight-dappled floor of Hyunjin's living room.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "He's not telling us what happened, but we figured he probably had a nightmare, something involving you."

"Oh. Is he okay?"

Felix glanced across at the couch, where Hyunjin sat with his knees tucked up to his chest, face buried between them. Jisung had his head leaning on his friend's shoulder, whispering sweet nothings and quiet reassurances to him in a constant, unending stream.

Felix bit his lip. "I'm not sure."

Y/n sounded worried, her voice becoming quieter over the phone. "Can I talk to him?"

Felix sighed, walking a little closer, and covered his phone with his hand. "Hyunjin, do you want to talk to her?"

The boy looked so dazed and out of it that Felix immediately brought his phone back to his ear.

"Yeah, I don't think he's up to it..."

Y/n let out a worried sigh over the phone, feeling anxiety creep up on her. "Just- keep an eye on him for me, okay?"

Felix nodded, forgetting he was over the phone and she couldn't see him.

"Felix?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure."

Felix ended the call, looking to Jisung, who still had his arm draped over his distraught friend's shoulders.

"Let's get you something to eat, Hyunjin."

Walking into the classroom, Felix set his belongings down on the desk, before turning to Jisung who was a couple desks away.

"Is Hyunjin coming in today?" He asked.

"He is, actually."

Both boys looked up at the sight of their friend; Jisung immediately stood up and threw his arms around the boy, squeezing him tight around the middle.

"Hi, Sung," Hyunjin wheezed, clapping his friend on the back. "I'm feeling better, don't worry."

Felix scoffed, getting up to hug his friend anyway. "You're lucky we didn't tell your parents."

"Yeah," Hyunjin chuckled. "They would have freaked. But I'm okay now."

Hyunjin sat down in his usual spot as the teacher began to call the roll. He checked his timetable; usually he knew off by heart what classes he was due for the day, but the events of the weekend had left him feeling unusually forgetful. Jisung had told him it was nothing to worry about, just some lingering aftereffects.

Checking in his bag, Hyunjin dug inside for a pen to mark off something on his schedule, and his fingers closed around a ballpoint. Drawing it out, he blinked in surprise.

It was Y/n's, the one he'd stolen almost two months ago.

He smiled ruefully to himself. I bet she hasn't forgotten about it all this time. She's not forgetful like me.

Realising he had a class with her next, he slotted his timetable and notebook back into his bag, wondering if she also remembered his offer for her to sit with him. He mentally facepalmed; he shouldn't have asked her to sit with him over text. It would just make it awkward if he had to ask her again face-to-face. Especially if she wasn't planning to sit with him at all.

Glancing up as the bell rang, he stood unsurely as the other students filtered out of the room, brushing past him while laughing and chattering.

Felix accompanied him on the walk, since his classroom was just a few doors down from Hyunjin's and he kept up a steady stream of excitable chatter, talking about this and that, not letting Hyunjin get a word in edgeways.

Which suited him just fine, since he was preoccupied with other thoughts. So he let Felix ramble on without interruption, only stopping to quickly say bye before slipping into his class.

He sat down in his usual spot at the back, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. His eyes darted about the classroom, trying to spot the telltale shimmer of her keyrings and pins on her bag, but it was nowhere to be seen. He relaxed with a sigh of relief. Spreading one leg slightly, he pushed it under the leg of the chair next to him, inconspicuously saving the seat. Hopefully for Y/n.

A familiar scent filled the air, vanilla and cinnamon, and Yeji pulled out the chair next to Hyunjin, almost catching his foot in the process. She dumped her belongings down before moving to sit next to him with a grin.

"Hey, Jinnie."

Hyunjin stuttered, his plan falling apart. "Hey."

Yeji peered down into his face, still standing, one hand planted firmly on the back of the chair. It moved slowly to the back of Hyunjin's chair til she was leaning almost over him, her knuckles brushing his back. A shiver went down his spine and he straightened a little, trying to redirect his focus to the classroom door.

"Sorry," he said quietly, bracing. "You can't sit here."

Yeji's smile dropped. "Why not?"

"Just can't."

Yeji's grin returned, wide and pearly, and it reminded Hyunjin of the Cheshire cat-style bandaid Y/n had given him. He rubbed his knee subconsciously, where the bandaid sat stuck neatly to the skin.

"Oh, I see," she teased. "Saving it for someone?"

Hyunjin nodded mutely before speaking up. "Y/n's coming soon, and I asked her to sit with me. Sorry."

Clearly Yeji was not expecting this response, because she spluttered, flicking her hair over her shoulder haughtily.

"Fine," she huffed suddenly, her tone laced with savagery. "Save it for your little loser friend."

Hyunjin made to nastily retort back at her, before his eyes flitted to the classroom door and Y/n walked in. He shoved the anger down inside him before smiling at her. He sat back down and looked up at her expectantly as she walked up to him.

Y/n glanced at the seat next to him shyly, pointing a finger.

"Yeah," he nodded, his tone soft. He couldn't keep the smile from his face.

Y/n slid into the seat and the class commenced. The teacher announced the content would be on the term exam and normally, Hyunjin would have zoned in, writing down notes and organizing his schedule (usually much to Jisung's disgust), but all he could think about was the girl sitting next to him.

They were sitting together.

He looked out the window, relief and happiness settling over him like a pleasant, dreamy cloud. His plan had worked. He felt a finger poke lightly into his bicep and he looked across as Y/n slid him a note.

Felix told me you fainted on the weekend. Are you feeling better?

He took the note and wrote a reply, his pen feeling slippery and unsteady in his hands.

Yeah, I'm okay. I had a nightmare and I must have gotten freaked out.

He slid it back to her, their fingers brushing momentarily. Her next reply was quick.

Nightmare? About what?

Hyunjin bit his lip. Should he tell her? Would she think it was weird or perverted that he'd dreamt about her? It had no romantic or suggestive connotation about it, but he still felt that there would be a chance that she thought it was kind of disgusting. Who dreamt about their friends? Maybe she would take it the wrong way.

But it wasn't like that, he told himself firmly, scribbling his reply.

You.

He heard Y/n make a little, almost inaudible squeak, like she was surprised, and he propped his head up on his elbow, putting his hand across his mouth to hide his smile.

Her reply came back.

Damn, am I that much of a horror to be friends with?

Hyunjin scoffed quietly.

No, of course not.

She wrote a response.

Then what happened in the nightmare?

Hyunjin took a deep breath, trying to stop his knee from bouncing rapidly under the desk. Should he tell her? He decided that she wouldn't mind. Besides, he was already this far in. He couldn't back out now.

I dreamt that you left me. And I kept calling for you but you weren't there. I felt like I was drowning...

He passed the note back across the desk with shaking fingers, biting the inside of his cheek.

Y/n passed the note back quickly, and Hyunjin's heart sank. Now his suspicions were confirmed. She thought it was weird..

Opening the note and moving to glance back at the sentence he'd written that had supposedly ruined everything, he was surprised to see that there was a small reply written under it.

I'm here now, Hyunjinnie. I promise I won't leave. Not if you don't want me to, of course.

Hyunjin felt his cheeks tingle, and moved to tug lightly at the lobe of his ear, which were now painted a shade of rich cherry red. She'd shown him time and time again that she was sweet, and honestly rather sentimental, but it had continued to surprise him. And with each time, his felt his heart swelling more and more, and expanding to accommodate her affection, coupled with his own. So much that he felt his heart would burst if they continued the way he did.

The bell rang for the end of class and Y/n moved to pack up her belongings, sparing Hyunjin a soft nod and a glance before moving to leave. She stopped to turn back, assuming he would get up and walk with her, but he dismissed her with a small, nervous smile, murmuring something about extra homework from another class. She nodded again and left.

So maybe she wasn't much of a talker, but oh, how she could make him feel.

"Y/NNNNNNN!"

Said girl let out a squeak as Jisung collided with her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in a hug. She exhaled a laugh, patting his forearms, and kept walking, taking smaller steps so as not to trip both herself and Jisung over.

He kept his arms around her, waddling awkwardly behind and spouting his daily nonsense straight into Y/n's ear. She didn't mind, looking up to see Felix and Hyunjin waiting outside the school gates. Jisung steered her from behind towards them, almost colliding with the iron bars of the gate.

Y/n let out a small sound as she put her hands against the wall. "Oof, be careful- Ew, it's wet."

It had been raining earlier, and the smell of petrichor hung in the air, laced with the smell of watery mud and the rain-soaked blazers of the students filing out of the school campus. She'd heard a couple girls in her class complaining about the rain, but she found she quite liked the weather. It was much more familiar to see the sky all grey and overcast than to walk out and be blinded by the sun.

Groaning in disgust, she waved her hands at Felix, who ducked, whining.

"Y/n! Go dry your hands."

Sighing nonchalantly, she wiped her right hand on Jisung's sleeve, the boy gaping at her in open-mouthed horror. He glanced down at his sleeve, checking that it wasn't stained, before skipping past her, down the street. Having seemingly forgotten about Y/n's damp hands, he turned back and seized Hyunjin's hand, telling him about the latest drama he'd heard in the hallways.

Y/n discreetly wiped her hands on the tail of Jisung's blazer before dropping back to walk alongside Felix. He smiled at her before calling out something to Hyunjin.

"Yah, Hyunjin! Wanna go to Bbokari's?"

The dark-haired boy checked his phone before turning his head and nodding. Felix let out a hum before asking Jisung the same thing. He readily agreed and turned himself so he was facing Y/n, walking backwards and clinging onto Hyunjin's arm to talk to her.

He grinned at her eagerly. "You should come with us!"

Y/n felt a silent stutter escape her lungs, her mouth opening just a little bit as she was thrust into the spotlight. All three pairs of the boys' eyes were trained on her, waiting for her response.

"Sorry," she said inaudibly, suddenly unable to speak.

Felix leaned forward a little as he walked, nudging her gently with his shoulder and sending a rush of heat radiating into her skin through her blazer.

"Come on," he said gently to her, smiling. "It'll be fun. Just like when we played basketball together."

Y/n found her eyes drifting to Hyunjin; he'd been looking at her while Felix had been talking, but at the eye contact, he suddenly busied himself with checking his pockets. Y/n felt her spirit sink a little and she considered making up a lie so she wouldn't have to go with them.

Not that she didn't want to. But it was difficult, and she knew she would end up feeling downcast and isolated if she told them she couldn't go. But if she said yes, she risked being left out; she risked being a spectator to their animated conversations, and honestly, Y/n couldn't stand the thought of being an invisible presence in yet another friend group. Just the lingering feeling made her visibly blanch, but she was snapped out of it when Jisung poked her shoulder.

"Pleaseeee?" He dragged out the word, pouting at her, his eyes wide and dark like boba balls.

Y/n glanced at him, unsure.

Jisung continued to drag the word out, his voice getting higher and higher and his face becoming redder and redder with the constant, forced exhale of a word.

Felix let out a low whistle. "If you don't give him an answer, he'll just keep going. No offence, but I don't feel like dragging a passed-out Jisung to Bbokari's."

Y/n let her eyes drift to Felix, the group still walking. Her voice was quiet, hesitant, like she was afraid she would scare him away if she spoke too loud. "What is Bbokari's?"

Felix beamed at her. "It's my parents' shop. Like a convenience store, but there's a seating area where there's a microwave and a coffee maker and stuff. We always buy food and my parents give Hyunjin and Jisung friend discounts because they come round all the time. Also, I live upstairs to the store."

Y/n nodded subconsciously, taking in all the information.

"She nodded!" Jisung screeched, jumping up and down and almost dislocating Hyunjin's arm, still in his grip. "She said yes!"

Y/n yelped as Felix took her arm, Jisung letting go of Hyunjin to take her hand, leading her forwards at an alarming pace down the street. The sudden flurry of movement around her meant she almost tripped, Jisung and Felix's combined grips on her being the only thing stopping her from falling.

"W-wait!" Y/n protested, struggling against their grip. "That's not what I meant! I was nodding to Felix-"

It was useless; they were far stronger that she had previously assumed. She felt like a twig in their firm but gentle grip.

Jisung cackled, his laugh floating up and mingling with the last few spatters of rain falling from the grey, cloudy sky.

"Too late. You're coming with us."

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

lonely st. ✧ chapter vi : broken mirrors

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: introducing a new character! jisung is the bestest ever and the biggest babygirl, sweet hyunjin, my nervous shy boy, very very fluffy, very soft, hyunjin keeps being clumsy

a/n: writing jisung is so ridiculously fun you have no idea

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Y/n glanced across at Jisung, trying not to smile. He was busy bopping his head to the beat of whatever was playing in his headphones. His textbook was open in front of him, his laptop propping it up. His headphones were plugged into it, the excess cord wrapped loosely around his wrist.

Y/n put her pen down and leaned back in her chair, trying to see what he was listening to. She'd been finished with the assigned math work for the double lesson and she was watching Jisung. He was perfect entertainment.

Leaning back just a little further, she noticed his work was half-done. He was doing it at least; for the past couple of lessons he'd done nothing but bother her; asking for help on miscellaneous questions, not listening when she explained them to him, whispering rude jokes to her, doodling on her hand. Or all three of them if he was hyper enough. Y/n had learned to identify when he'd been gulping those sugary energy drinks Hyunjin refused to touch under any circumstances.

Now she knew why.

Not that she minded. It was fun to finally be able to sit next to someone. And Jisung didn't seem to mind that she wasn't much of a talker, excitedly filling the space between them with whatever happened to be occupying his mind at the moment.

Y/n failed to keep the smile from twitching at the corners of her mouth. His Spotify was open, a half-window, playing some song on full volume.

Queencard, she thought, smirking. Isn't that some popular (G)-IDLE song?

She leaned forward and tugged loosely on his sleeve. He pulled one tangled earphone out of his ear and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Whatcha listening to?" she asked, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, this one really good girl group song. Here," he shoved one of his earphones at her and she took it, grinning unconsciously as the beats filled her ear.

Jisung was doing the dance to the song in tiny, haphazard movements, completely focused. His eyes were trained on his math notebook but Y/n figured his head was somewhere else entirely. If she listened, she could hear him singing under his breath in the low chatter of the classroom.

Y/n huffed out a tiny laugh. A boy with freckles and blonde hair turned back from the seat in front of them to face Jisung. He was grinning ear to ear.

"Jisung, I know you love that song, but Mr Yang said he'd give you a detention if you didn't finish the classwork."

Jisung swore and hunched over his math book. There wasn't much class time left, and Y/n saw his pen scribbling messily over the paper, scrawling equations and diagrams. Her eyes widened. She'd never seen him write that fast in her life.

"There," Jisung said, clearly satisfied as he put his pen down. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with a grin.

The blonde boy deadpanned. "And we have to show Mr Yang that we finished it before we're allowed to leave. Why do you think Y/n got up, like, half an hour ago?"

Groaning, Jisung tugged out his headphones with a sigh and snatched his book from the desk, marching up to the front of the classroom. Y/n watched with an amused smile as he practically shoved his book in their math teacher's face, clearly eager to show his finished work.

The blonde boy turned to Y/n. "I was lying to him about the detention part. But I get tired of having to explain everything to him when he could just do the work in class," he grinned.

Y/n brought her hand up to cover her smile. He had a point; Jisung never finished his work, no matter how much the teachers nagged him.

"Clever tactic," she mused.

The boy huffed out a laugh as Jisung came back down the desk aisle with a self-satisfied smile. He pushed his bleached fringe out of his eyes, his freckles changing positions as he smiled at Y/n again.

"I'm Felix, by the way."

Y/n laid her head on her folded arms, trying not to fall asleep. Breaktime seemed so long ago, and Y/n glanced at the clock above the board, wondering when the bell for lunch would go. It currently read 5:33 PM. It was midday.

They should really get that replaced, she wondered idly.

She'd sat through three mind-numbingly boring lessons, having already gone ahead and finished most of the work for the classes. Not that she found the content very riveting anyway. It was amazing how boring the teachers could make a curriculum.

She blew a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and let them droop shut, fighting the urge to close them completely and succumb to a deep, dreamless sleep. She let out a little squeak as someone poked her in the side.

Turning her head and prepared to snap at whoever it was that had disturbed her, she locked eyes with a familiar, smiling face.

Hyunjin.

She huffed at him anyway, glaring at him in mock disapproval.

"What?" she whisper-shouted at him.

Hyunjin bit the corner of his lip and leaned forwards, eyes flitting to the front of the room to check that the teacher was occupied. Which he was, scrawling unintelligible diagrams on the board.

Hyunjin grinned at her and passed her a slip of paper, folded over three times. Raising an eyebrow, Y/n turned back to her desk and unfolded the paper. He'd written a single sentence at the top.

It's been a while since we talked.

Y/n side-eyed him and picked up her pen. She scribbled a reply and handed it to him, eyes not leaving the teacher.

It's been a day, Hyunjin. You're such a drama king.

Y/n saw him fight a laugh in her peripheral vision. He wrote his reply and held it out to her.

So? I missed you.

Y/n felt her heart drop to the bottom of her stomach. She wasn't really sure what that meant. Did he miss talking to her? Or being around her? What did he mean?

She knew one thing for sure. Tapping her pen against her knuckles, she paused, hesitating, before writing out a shaky reply and passing it back to him, biting her lip nervously.

I missed you too, Hyunjinnie.

Y/n didn't dare turn her head, fighting to keep her gaze locked on the much-less-interesting view of the diagrams on the board. Which she had no intention of copying down, by the way.

Would Hyunjin think she was weird for saying it back? Maybe it had just been a casual, chill sort of thing, not a sentimental 'oh, how I missed you so much' thing. She began to panic, her knee bouncing rapidly under the desk. She ran her fingertips along her pen, feeling the ridges and bumps of it as she fretted silently.

Y/n didn't know how long she sat with her eyes locked on her work, though it was finished. She didn't dare look across at Hyunjin, though all she wanted to do was gaze at his stupid face and gauge his reaction to her reply.

Maybe he would think she was just saying it out of pity. Or for the politeness of it. Or maybe he would think that she was a weirdo for calling him a nickname. Shit, she hadn't even asked him for permission to call him Hyunjinnie... Would he mind?

But we've been friends for long enough, right? I mean, we pretty much spend time together, alone, just the two of us, in the library every day. Maybe he won't mind. Oh no, maybe he might. Shit, why did I write that? He might think it's weird...

Hyunjin held the note out to her again between two long, slender fingers, not looking away from the front. Y/n kept her gaze trained on the front of the classroom too, reaching blindly across the aisle. Her fingers brushed his and a sudden chill ran down her spine. Taking the note, she pressed her fingers together around it. Like she could make it disappear if she just squeezed her fingertips together on the paper hard enough.

Biting the inside of her cheek, and trying to calm down her heart, which was racing suddenly for no foreseeable reason, she unfolded the note.

I passed by your math classroom on an errand for my teacher earlier. I saw you sitting with Jisung, listening to his music.

It was cute.

Y/n felt her cheeks tingling, her heart thudding so loud she was sure he could hear it. She swallowed, the action almost hurting, her throat was so dry. Like she'd been wandering for days in a desert.

Glancing down at the note, she noticed his handwriting had changed on the last sentence, like he'd paused before writing it. Her mind became a mess of jumbled, mushy thoughts.

Does he mean Jisung's cute? Or I'm cute? Or the fact that we were just sitting together...? I feel so hot of a sudden. Is the AC on? Wait, he probably wants me to reply...

She thought hard for a second, pen flicking between her fingers, palms unusually clammy. She let her tongue push into the hollow of her cheek, wondering what would be a reasonable, rational response to his reply.

Before the tip of her pen could touch the paper, Hyunjin outstretched his hand, letting it hold in the space between them. They were at the very back of the classroom, so he clearly wasn't concerned about anyone noticing.

Y/n's mind short circuited as she saw the movement, his fingers flicking back and forth in a 'give me' motion. Wait, what did he want? Something from her pencil case? Her pen? Maybe her book?

There was only one conclusion.

Reaching out her hand, Y/n shakily interlaced her fingers with Hyunjin's in the space between their desks. He froze for a second, hand limp in the air, before his fingers closed around hers.

All of the breath whooshed out of Y/n's lungs, leaving her surprised and breathless. She couldn't think; all she could focus on was the warm, dry feeling of Hyunjin's palm, and his long, slender digits lacing with hers in what felt like the perfect solution to a puzzle. The missing piece.

Hyunjin squeezed her hand softly before letting go. He made the flicking gesture with his fingers again. Y/n was looking at him through her peripheral; all she could see was his hand. He was doing the same.

The realisation hit Y/n like a slap in the face as her eyes locked onto the unfolded note on her desk.

Fuck.

He wanted the note.

Feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment, Y/n quickly withdrew her hand, taking the note from her desk with fumbling fingers and shoving it into his hand. Her heart sank.

You idiot.

She'd just held his hand. Hwang Hyunjin, the star basketballer, the school's it boy with his perfect charm and stupidly handsome face.

Wait, handsome?

Unable to stand being within a metre of him any longer, and feeling increasingly confused about her sudden change in attitude towards her friend, Y/n raised her hand, asking some question about the nature of the umpteenth diagram currently being drawn by their teacher on the board.

The action reset her mind a little and she focused intensely on her teacher's reply, trying to block out everything else. And her mind, and her swirling mess of emotions and thoughts, and the strange tingling sensation in her palm where Hyunjin had held it. Her stomach felt all swirly and fuzzy too.

The teacher finished answering Y/n's question and turned to flip through his textbook. Y/n's heart jolted as Hyunjin held out the folded note to her again, not looking at her.

Her heart sunk even further and she braced herself for an insult or a rejection as she took it, making sure not to brush his fingers again.

She unfolded the note again, eyes flicking across the row of numbers he'd scribbled down.

Jisung told me he gave you his number. Thought I'd do the same.

He'd doodled a stupid drawing of some cartoon ferret next to it. Y/n peered at the drawing, noticing how he'd added a little mole under its left eye, just like his real one.

Y/n kept inspecting the drawing, tilting her head to make sense of the doodle. It was sort of cute. She liked it.

She didn't notice the way Hyunjin's cheeks were dusted in pink.

Y/n made her way down the hallway, eyes fixated on the beams of sunlight spilling into the corridors from the large windows. The sun was always nice at this time of day; all warm and golden. She hoped she'd get home later just before the sun turned to its usual setting; blistering, bright, and glaring.

She didn't feel like going to the library today. Her routine with Hyunjin wasn't definite; sometimes she would sit down at the usual table and he'd already be there, or he'd come in a few moments later, setting down his belongings and scooting his chair a little closer.

Today, he wasn't there.

Y/n was beginning to feel a little braver in not going to the library during all of her breaktimes. It still felt strange to wander around the hallways, hands in her pockets, but it somehow felt more appealing than spending another forty minutes in the dim bookshelf corner by herself, like she used to.

She felt a little guilty for some reason; the library had sort of been her home for most of the year, and now that she wasn't showing up there as often, she worried the place might lose some of its charm.

Pondering this as she passed by the lower levels of the school, her thoughts were sidetracked by the faint sound of thumping basketballs and squeaking shoes.

That's right, she remembered. Hyunjin is practicing today.

Peeking inside, she noticed first the brilliant sunlight streaming in from the high rafter windows, reflecting off the walls and casting a lovely, warm glow across the polished court floor. She noticed Hyunjin's smile emitting the same radiance.

She spotted Jisung and Felix with him too, the three boys the only occupiers of the space. They were tossing a basketball between them. Jisung's tie was undone, his shirt untucked, and so was Hyunjin's. Both boys were missing their sweater vests. Only Felix was wearing his, though it was slipping off his left shoulder as he tossed the basketball back to Jisung.

The boys weaving their way down the court with such precision and fluidity that Y/n could do nothing but watch. She stood, transfixed, hands pressed against the wall, fingers gripping the threshold.

They were amazingly, breathtakingly good.

Y/n watched as Jisung took a shot, but he was too far away to make it. The ball rebounded off the hoop backboard, sailing through the air, and rolling to a stop near the door, right near Y/n's feet.

She peeked through the gap in the double doors before timidly stepping into the gym and picking the ball up. It felt textured and unusually heavy in her hands.

Felix waved a hand at her, grinning ear to ear. Jisung let out a happy shout and Hyunjin smiled.

"Yah, Y/n!" Jisung shouted at her, beaming almost as bright as the sunlight filtering into the gym. "Pass it back!"

Y/n blinked at him, then back down at the ball, feeling awkward and unsure. She tilted her head at him, confused. She glanced at the ball again. Did he want her to throw the ball to him?

"Yeah, come on, throw the ball back!" Felix called kindly, clearly sensing her uncertainness. He held his hands out.

Taking a deep breath, Y/n mustered her strength and tossed the ball back, her wrists flicking out. It was a short throw, much to her embarrassment, and Felix jogged forward, catching the ball effortlessly, seemingly not minding.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

Felix smiled at her kindly. "It's okay. Throwing takes some time to get right. You need conditioning."

Jisung jogged up too. Peeking behind him, Y/n felt a pang of disappointment as she saw Hyunjin walking away, moving to his bag that was shoved up against the far wall next to his friends' bags. Maybe he was upset with her for some reason... or maybe it was because of how she'd mistakenly held his hand during class earlier.

"Did you wanna play?" Jisung asked her eagerly. Felix looked at her expectantly, and Y/n took a step back, not wanting to make herself look stupid in front of these stupidly talented players.

"No, I'm okay-"

"Nope! Come on," Jisung took her upper arm and marched her to the middle of the court. Y/n weakly protested, Felix pushing the ball gently into her hands as Jisung positioned her right before the hoop.

"I don't think you have a choice," Felix whispered to her apologetically before smiling cheekily. "We could do with the teaching practice. It'll be fun."

Y/n sighed as Jisung stood several metres away from her, holding out his hands with a cheeky grin.

"So, you push the ball forward and then flick your wrists out," Felix stood beside her, making gestures with his wrists.

"Like this?" she copied his motion, tossing the ball about half a metre.

Felix nodded. "Yep! Then put some force into it."

Y/n glanced at Jisung before doing as Felix said. The ball flew in a perfect arc and Jisung caught it easily, cheering. Hyunjin watched with an amused smile from the far wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Felix clapped her gently on the back.

"Now you just gotta do that while dribbling. You know how?"

Y/n nodded. Hyunjin had regaled her with training tactics and basketball tricks during their library sessions, so she knew how.

In theory.

Fifteen minutes later, Y/n let the ball fly from her hands, tossing it to Jisung. It made sense now, and the feeling of the basketball's textured material felt natural and familiar under her palms. She liked the thumping sound the ball made as it hit the court, again and again and again.

She felt slightly sweaty, but exhilarated. She understood why the boys always seemed so alive whenever they played. There was something exciting about being on constant alert for the ball, catching it and passing it, and feeling the anticipation hanging in the air as the ball skimmed the hoop before dropping inside with a soft whoosh.

They'd been playing what was called 'two-on-two' for around fifteen minutes. Felix and Hyunjin were on one team, Jisung and Y/n on the other. Felix had proposed they flip a coin to decide the teams, but Jisung had seized her arm as soon as the words had left Felix's mouth with a frenzied, eager shout. That had settled it.

Y/n felt tired and her arms were beginning to ache, but it was the satisfied kind of ache that comes from doing something you enjoy. Grinning at Jisung as he shot a hoop, she moved to sit down, attempting to catch her breath.

She felt so free. Like a bird that had lived its whole life in captivity, the cage door had unlocked and she was allowed to soar through the sky, no limits, no rules. Just her wings airing her up against the current. She wondered if the boys felt the same way.

Felix flopped down next to her, and Y/n panicked briefly. Had Hyunjin told him and Jisung about what happened with the note in class? She subtly pressed a hand to her blazer pocket, where she'd tucked the note inside it. She glanced at Felix, but his eyes were trained on the court, where Hyunjin was currently dribbling down the side, trying to stop Jisung from taking it from him.

"Hey," he panted.

"Hi."

Felix grinned at her, sweaty and gasping. "You're not bad at basketball, you know? Pretty good for a first try."

Y/n flushed at the praise. Coming from someone as talented as Felix, that meant the world. And it felt genuine. She tried convincing herself that maybe he was just saying it to make her feel better about her awful skills but the thoughts wouldn't come, and somehow she refused to believe it. The thought made her smile, a hand coming up out of habit to cover her mouth.

"Thanks."

Felix batted her hand away. "Don't cover your smile."

"W-what?"

"Don't cover your smile," he repeated. "It's nice."

Y/n was sure her face was scarlet by now, but she appreciated his gentle honesty nonetheless. She lowered her hand.

"There you go," Felix grinned. "Just like the sun."

Y/n huffed a little, shy laugh and looked away, feeling suddenly vulnerable. Fortunately, it didn't last long, because she was disturbed by a shout from the court.

Hyunjin was on the floor, Jisung straddling his waist. Both of them had their arms wrapped around the basketball, tussling for ownership amidst accused shouts and loud whines.

Felix slumped back against the wall, rolling his eyes. "This happens every single practice."

Y/n chuckled. "Must get old, huh?"

Felix smiled. "Nah. It's a bit irritating sometimes, for sure, but they're my best friends, so I don't mind that much. And it's funny, to be honest."

Y/n glanced across the court just as the ball slipped from Hyunjin's grip, rolling away. Jisung let out a shout and scrambled for it just as Hyunjin did. There was a brief kerfuffle.

She chuckled. It was funny.

The bell rang.

*texting unknown number* y/n: hello? y/n: is this hyunjin? unknown number: oh hey! unknown number: i was worried you'd forgotten about me haha y/n: no, i just had tutoring after school so i didn't get time. sorry... y/n: but i have time now unknown number: oh, cool, all good unknown number: hey, so do me a favour y/n: ? unknown number: change my contact number to something really cool and awesome

Y/n chuckled and sat upright on her bed, letting her phone rest on top of the duvet as she thought hard. The sky outside was fading, streaking cotton candy across the clouds and melting into a deep shade of ocean blue to the left.

An idea popped into her head and she picked her phone up, clicking on the contact and editing the name.

*y/n changed 'unknown number' to 'hyunjinnie 🏀'*

y/n: i changed it hyunjinnie 🏀: alright, cool hyunjinnie 🏀 i like it :D y/n: well now you have to change mine so it's even hyunjinnie 🏀: hmmm hyunjinnie 🏀: let's see *hyunjinnie 🏀 changed 'y/n' to 'y/n 🌸💫'* hyunjinnie 🏀: there. how's that? y/n 🌸💫: a flower and a star? hyunjinnie 🏀: yeah, because i saw you doodling flowers in your book earlier during class hyunjinnie 🏀: and you always draw a star next to your name whenever we get worksheets

Y/n blinked at his message. He was right. She was doodling flowers earlier and she did always draw a star next to her name when she received class work. Flushing at his keen observation, she typed out a reply.

y/n 🌸💫: i like it hyunjinnie 🏀: i'm glad hyunjinnie 🏀: aren't i so smart? y/n 🌸💫: whatever makes you feel better hyunjinnie 🏀: ouch, okay hyunjinnie 🏀: fine, i see how it is... i thought you were my FRIEND

Y/n laughed and set her phone aside, momentarily getting up to open the window, since it was getting dark. It had been hot lately, humid and temperate, and Y/n wanted all the cold air she could get, even if that meant letting in some unwelcome insect visitors. Her fan was broken, so she had to make do.

Flopping back down on the bed, she picked up her phone, smiling cheekily.

* y/n 🌸💫 changed 'hyunjinnie 🏀' to 'drama king 🏀'* y/n 🌸💫: there y/n 🌸💫: now it's perfect

On the other side of the line, Hyunjin chuckled and shook his head. He brushed a strand of dark hair from his face and rolled to his side, resting his phone on the pillow and propping it up. He typed out a reply.

drama king 🏀: very creative. speaking of, it was nice having you playing basketball with us at lunchtime y/n 🌸💫: yeah, it was fun y/n 🌸💫: you guys are so unbelievably talented drama king 🏀: you're talented too, i've never seen anyone who can sketch like you can y/n 🌸💫: thanks, hyunjinnie drama king 🏀: maybe you could show me during class drama king 🏀: i mean, i do sit across from you drama king 🏀: so

Hyunjin bit his lip. Would it be weird if he asked her over text? Would she forget by the time she actually walked into class? Why was he so nervous? She was his friend, so why did his heart race faster at the thought of spending so much time next to her? Nothing had happened when they were both alone at the library.

So why did it feel so different?

He let out a soft groan, vying with his rationality.

Fuck it, he thought, eyes fixed on the screen as he typed out a message.

drama king 🏀: did you wanna sit together next class?

He waited anxiously for a response. How long had it been? Two minutes? Two hours? Why wasn't she replying?

Gritting his teeth, he chucked his phone onto the bedside. She'd just denied him and now he felt like an idiot. He went too far and now she might hate him for all eternity. Hyunjin felt somehow winded, like the one time he fell over during a tournament game and one of his opponents stepped on his middle for good measure.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Hyunjin swung his legs up, pressing a hand to the firm, flat expanse of his stomach. He'd just have to explain himself to her the next day. The thought of having to see her disapproving glare at his clingy offer made him feel surprisingly disconsolate.

He laid back down and tried to occupy his mind, attempting to forget about the blameworthy device resting on the bedside table. Failing miserably, he huffed and swiped a hand across the table, sending his phone skidding under his bed with a thud.

He'd just try and forget about it for the time being.

A distant ting made him shoot bolt upright. His head spun and he pressed a hand to his forehead, hissing, before frantically checking the floor for his phone.

Dropping to his stomach on the floor, he scrabbled around under his bed and tried to reach his phone. His fingers brushed the device and he stretched, grabbing it with a sigh of exertion. Forgetting half his torso was stretched out under the solid wooden bedframe, he made to get up, hitting his head solidly on the wooden slats.

Hyunjin groaned, wincing, and opened his phone, shuffling out from the dark, enclosed space. Climbing onto the bed again, he opened the message bar and swiped into the chat.

y/n 🌸💫: sorry, the wifi's been cutting out here a lot so i couldn't reply straight away y/n 🌸💫: but if you want to sit together during class next time... y/n 🌸💫: sure

Hyunjin collapsed into the pillows with a sigh of relief.

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow

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“i just like my alone time” i say as if loneliness hasn’t been all i’ve known since childhood

lonely st. ✧ chapter v : behind closed doors

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: han jisung in the building, the usual stuff, hyunjin is confused poor baby :( yeji is a dick

a/n: chapter fiveeeee

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Y/n watched as a butterfly fluttered past her, wings flapping haphazardly. Sighing and leaning against the rough, sanded brick of the school wall, she took a breath and began to walk home.

She'd been stalling for no particular reason; it was just that going home felt mundane and unexciting without the walk with Hyunjin. He'd told her in their last class that he was staying back for basketball practice that afternoon and she'd nodded, watching as he'd apologized for not being able to walk home with her.

Then he'd run off.

The sky seemed a little dimmer than usual, and Y/n clutched the strap of her bag as she made her way down the street, trying to become an inconspicuous presence amongst the throngs of students milling past her. She inhaled deeply as she put one foot in front of the other, the smell of the fresh, post-storm air soothing her lungs and cleansing her insides.

Y/n let her arms relax, her sketchbook slipping out from under the crook of her elbow and dropping to the pavement. Reaching to pick it up, her hand collided with someone else's, large and veiny unlike her own.

"Sorry, Y/n."

Y/n shook her head and took the sketchbook without looking at who it was, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She suddenly tilted her head in confusion, quickly checking the book for any damage.

"Wait- how do you know my name?"

"I'm in some of your classes. I don't think we've talked before, but I'm one of Hyunjin's friends. I play basketball with him too."

Y/n looked up hesitantly. The boy had a friendly, wide grin, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, much like the way Hyunjin wore his school shirt. His slightly fluffy hair was parted messily down the middle. He wasn't wearing a blazer or sweater vest, and Y/n noticed a pair of colourful sneakers on his feet, thick and chunky. Basketballer shoes.

The boy extended a hand. "I'm Han Jisung. Nice to meet ya."

"So, how's it going with Hyunjin?" Han asked casually, almost skipping alongside the path next to Y/n.

She glared at him warily, wondering if he was fishing for details, or trying to find out if she liked Hyunjin. But Han's face was open, not expectant or eager. Not a hint of malice showed in his features, just a casual, easygoing demeanour that Y/n sort of liked. He was quite the talker, so it suited her perfectly to walk in silence while Han talked about this and that.

"It's good," she said quietly.

Han nodded, jumping up to tug a random leaf off an overhanging branch. He'd offered to walk her home, and Y/n figured that if he was one of Hyunjin's friends, he was probably trustable. But she kept an eye on him nonetheless, not wishing to risk anything.

The walk had been nice, though, with Han keeping up a constant stream of cheerful chatter along the way. He's a bit like the sun, Y/n thought to herself.

She watched silently as Han leapt up to slap a sign with impressive height, a metallic thunk ringing out as he slammed a palm against it. He landed easily on his feet and turned back to Y/n, grinning.

"You try," he said.

Y/n shook her head and Han whined.

"Come onnnn, just one go. I reckon you can reach it."

Y/n sighed as Han excitedly took her bag, holding it for her. Mustering up the nonexistent strength, she ran a few steps, swinging her arms up for momentum, and jumped. Her palm hit the middle of the sign with a satisfying bang, the same thunking noise ringing out into the street.

Landing, she stumbled a little, before glancing up at Han, breathless. He cheered, clapping wildly, and handed her bag back to her. Y/n smiled without even realising. That was the fastest she'd moved in a long time. It felt good.

They reached the willow tree five minutes later, Y/n's smile fading unexpectedly. She'd actually really enjoyed walking with Han, and the rest of the walk home without his constant chattering and antics made Y/n's heart sink more than she would have liked to admit.

Han glanced up and let a hand trail through the low-hanging fronds of the willow. Thoughtfully tugging off a couple leaves, he let them flutter to the pavement before looking across at Y/n, who was seemingly lost in thought.

He turned and dug through his bag, hand reaching past the mess of pencils, uncapped pens, crumpled worksheets, and- oh, that's where his wrist brace went- to pull out a scrap of paper and a pen.

Scribbling down his number, he glanced across at Y/n, who was still staring into the distance, and recapped the pen. Shyly, he poked her arm and held out the piece of paper.

She took it hesitantly and glanced at the messy writing. Her eyes widened a tiny bit.

Han shook his hands frantically at her surprised expression, afraid he'd gone too far. "U-um, I just thought it'd be good for you to have my number- you know, since we're both friends with Hyunjin and all, it might be good to stay in contact.. if you want to, of course-"

Y/n nodded, butterflies taking flight in her stomach. "Thanks."

"That's okay. Maybe we can text tonight? Again, if you want to..."

Y/n smiled a tiny bit, the expression feeling strange and unfamiliar. She'd only known Han for 20 minutes, but he already felt like a friend. Maybe they already were friends.

Was it possible to be friends with someone even if you hadn't known them for a long time? Or was that just something people said all the time, but wasn't actually true?

She bid Han a quiet goodbye and he turned and walked back down the street, pausing only to give her a grin over his shoulder. He gestured a texting action with his hands and mouthed 'tonight' before turning the corner and disappearing.

Y/n glanced down at the piece of paper between her fingers. He'd scribbled his number haphazardly across the paper. Next to the last digit was a little smiley face and a messy rendition of a basketball.

The strange, warm, fuzzy sensation came back, settling in Y/n's stomach like a warm, chocolatey drink on a cold winter's day.

For the first time, Y/n welcomed the feeling.

Y/n sighed in relief, shutting her textbook. Her teachers were really dishing out the homework this week for some reason. She'd told herself to finish it before texting Han, and her fingers had been itching to touch her phone throughout. She'd ended up shutting it into her bedside drawer so she wouldn't get distracted.

Looking out her window thoughtfully, she put the textbook neatly to the side and moved to her bed, pulling out her phone from the drawer. She bit her lip

What if it was all just a joke? What if Han had just given her his number so he could clown her for thinking that he really was her friend?

Shaking her head, Y/n entered Han's number and hit the texting application. Thumbing out a short message, she hit sent before she could second-guess herself.

*texting unknown number* y/n: han? unknown number: y/n, hey!

Y/n blinked, wondering if she was seeing things. She wasn't. That was fast.

unknown number: i was worried i'd written my number down wrong. i'm not good at remembering stuff, so i'm glad i got it right 👌 y/n: yeah y/n: thank you for walking with me today unknown number: of course unknown number: it was fun, actually unknown number: and a nice change from having to listen to felix scold me about eating things i shouldn't y/n: ... unknown number: don't question it unknown number: by the way, you can call me jisung. we're friends now, so you don't have to be formal 😁 *y/n changed 'unknown number' to 'jisung'* y/n 🎨: there, i changed it jisung: cool jisung: i already changed yours to 'y/n 🎨' y/n 🎨: why the paint palette emoji? jisung: hyunjin told me and felix that you sketch. he said you're really good. jisung: you being an artist is really cool. i can't draw to save my life

A warm feeling spread across Y/n's cheeks, the same way it had when she'd shown Hyunjin a snippet of one of her sketches during their daily lunchtime library sessions. She wondered when Hyunjin had told his friend about her passion for sketching.

Y/n thought that Jisung was honestly really sweet for not being afraid to compliment her on it.

y/n 🎨: thanks y/n 🎨: you said you played basketball? jisung: yup jisung: we have a championship tournament coming up soon too y/n 🎨: that's cool y/n 🎨: are there positions in basketball? like offense or defence jisung: yeah, i play power forward jisung: hyunjin plays center since he's pretty much the designated captain, plus he's really good y/n 🎨: i haven't seen him play, but i can believe that jisung: yea, he's amazing. wish i could be as good as he is y/n 🎨: i bet you're a great player too jisung: you know, you're actually really nice y/n 🎨: thanks...? jisung: nonono not like that jisung: i just meant that i didn't expect you to be so sweet, you usually sort of come across as... y/n 🎨: cold? jisung: ...yeah. but it's not a bad thing. jisung: it just means that when you do show emotion, you mean it with your whole heart

Y/n rolled over onto her back and looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling. She'd never thought of it that way. It made sense.

A thought occurred to her suddenly.

y/n 🎨: hyunjin usually walks home with me jisung: yeah, he told me about that. when you gave him the bandaids too. jisung: what about it? y/n 🎨: he said he had basketball practice. you're on the team too, so how come you didn't know jisung: i thought you were y/n, not some sort of super detective, jeez! y/n 🎨: haha, it just occurred to me jisung: hyunjin sometimes stays back by himself so he can practice. though i do think he overdoes it sometimes y/n 🎨: he seems like he loves playing basketball a lot jisung: sometimes i think if i asked him to choose between me and his beloved basketball, he would choose basketball 🥲

Y/n let out a quiet laugh as she read Jisung's message. No wonder him and Hyunjin were friends. They had the same easygoing demeanour, the same effortless style of humour.

y/n 🎨: i doubt hyunjin would choose basketball over you, if that makes you feel any better jisung: i wish 😔 he spends a lot of time practicing by himself after school most days jisung: speaking of, did you want his number?

Y/n put her phone down and bit her lip. Would it be weird if she said yes? She didn't want to come across as clingy or overly attached. She typed out a reply.

y/n 🎨: no, it's okay. jisung: you just gonna wait til he gives it to you himself?

Y/n must have paused for a bit too long after reading his message, because Jisung followed up.

jisung: don't sweat it if that's what you were planning to do jisung: he could do with the push

She huffed out a laugh on an exhale and typed back.

y/n 🎨: maybe don't push him too far, he might fall over y/n 🎨: i think he's injured enough... jisung: at least he has you and your bandaid supply to keep him going lol y/n 🎨: yup jisung: super sorry dude but i have to go finish my overdue math homework tonight or my teacher might actually throw me out the window y/n 🎨: who's your math teacher? jisung: mr yang y/n 🎨: we have the same math teacher. i never realised jisung: oh we do, that's dope jisung: we should sit together next class y/n 🎨: sure, if you want y/n 🎨: just curious, but how long is your math homework overdue by? jisung: ... jisung: three and a half weeks y/n 🎨: that's actually crazy y/n 🎨: no wonder mr yang is so stressed all the time jisung: shut up jisung: anyway, we have math tomorrow, so i'll see you then y/n 🎨: okay. see you later, jisung jisung: byeee 👋

Hyunjin slumped down onto the bench, sweaty hair mussing against the wall. His shoes squeaked against the court's polished wooden floor as he stretched out his legs in front of him.

How long had he been practicing for? An hour? Two? A whole day?

The bell that went at the end of the school day felt like it had gone a long time ago. All Hyunjin wanted to do was head home, take his sweaty basketball gear off, shower, and eat something good. Then he would collapse into bed and feel the soft, soft pillow against his cheek...

His phone buzzed. Sighing, Hyunjin reached into his bag and pulled it out. He flicked open the notification bar and saw that he had a new message from Yeji. Groaning, he swiped the chat open.

yeji 🍭: you coming over tonight?

Hyunjin pursed his lips and blew a strand of sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes.

hyunjin: huh? yeji 🍭: for tutoring, silly hyunjin: oh

If he was being honest with himself, he didn't feel like going. He felt exhausted. But Yeji would never let him hear the end of it if he backed out. And it had been a while since they'd talked. He was sort of missing her.

hyunjin: sure hyunjin: give me half an hour yeji 🍭: see you then, jinnie

Hyunjin slurped up a mouthful of ramen, gulping down the noodles and broth. He groaned. Food always tasted better after practice. It tasted even better after he was all cozy and cleaned up.

Yeji had opened the door as soon as he'd knocked. Her parents were often out at night time, since they both worked late office jobs, and she was only too happy to have the house to herself and Hyunjin.

He'd taken a shower at hers and changed into his spare set from his duffel bag before heading into her room. It felt so good to wash off all the sweat and grime he so often collected during intense training sessions. He'd stood under the hot water for a long time, letting it soothe his muscles and relieve the aching.

Walking into her room, Hyunjin noticed she'd set the lighting low and easy on the eyes, gold and pink hues shining out from the lampshade to cast patterns around the room.

Currently, he was sitting on her bed, slurping ramen from an instant noodle cup. Yeji was sitting on her desk chair, deep orange locks tied back messily in a bun, doing the same thing.

Countless times they'd done this. Their parents were close friends and the result of that growing up was a lot of time spent at the other's place. Now, the routine felt comforting and familiar.

It was a little awkward at times, considering they were both older now, but Hyunjin was grateful for her company. What with all the stress and hustle from schoolwork and basketball practice, it felt good to slow down and just relax.

Yeji glanced across at him as he set the empty ramen cup down on her bedside. She chuckled as he flopped back onto her bedspread, almost hitting his head on the wall.

"Careful."

Hyunjin only groaned in response, too exhausted to do anything else.

"Do we have to study?" He managed to get out.

Yeji laughed and set her own cup down, moving to flop down into a beanbag on the floor. The sky outside was dimming in shades of orange and lilac.

"Not if you don't want to. But what happened to wanting to pass the semester, Jinnie?"

Hyunjin sighed and propped himself up on his elbows, gazing at her blearily. "I can do that when I'm not completely exhausted."

Yeji got up and turned the lamp up a little higher before moving to sit next to him. She poked his leg.

"Come on, don't fall asleep."

Hyunjin simply rolled over, turning his back to her. Sure, Yeji could be fake and irritating and more than a bit of a drama queen if she felt like it, but she was Hyunjin's childhood friend. A close confidant, and good company too. Sometimes he wasn't sure what to think of her, but sometimes he liked her a lot too.

He found his heart thudding as she leaned over to poke his cheek. Her airy perfume filled the space between them with a soft, vanilla scent.

She smells so good...

"Jinnie," she said softly. "If you fall asleep here, where am I supposed to sleep? On the floor?"

"In my arms," he murmured, feeling hazy and pleasantly drowsy.

She leaned closer, having not heard what he'd said. "What?"

"Nothing..."

Yeji sighed, lying down behind him and putting her hands behind her head. She stared up at the ceiling, letting her legs dangle off the bed.

"How's basketball?"

"Busy," he whispered in response. "How's dance?"

"Busy."

Hyunjin rolled over, propping his head under his elbow. "Your competition is soon, isn't it?"

Yeji nodded, not taking her eyes off the ceiling. She'd taken her hair out, but there was a little star barrette she'd left in on the right side of her head, near her ear. She must have forgotten about it. Hyunjin could tell she was tired like he was; there were slight bags under her eyes now that she'd removed the concealer from them, and her eyes were drooping shut.

He took a deep breath and reached out to gently unclip the barrette from the locks, his heart pounding so loud it hurt. She didn't move. Hyunjin's eyes flicked to her face and he realised they were shut.

She's asleep, he thought in relief.

Glancing outside, he checked the time on his phone; it was getting late, and he'd be expected to get home soon. He set the star hairclip next to her before reaching out with a shaky hand and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, light as a feather.

He could stay a little longer.

Through his exhaustion, Hyunjin could feel guilt suddenly nagging at his consciousness. How could he be lying her next to her, crushing on her and touching her hair, knowing what she'd said about Y/n? That she was an outcast, that she was only friends with Y/n out of pity...

It's not like Y/n knows about it, Hyunjin desperately reasoned with himself, fighting against his moral compass.

The little sensible voice in Hyunjin's head spoke up. You know it's not right, Hyunjin. Even if you're close friends with Yeji, it's not worth it to throw Y/n under the bus... right?

Hyunjin grit his teeth. Was he willing to lose Yeji in order to become closer with Y/n? Or would he just mess everything up with Yeji? She was his childhood friend. He'd only known Y/n for just under a month's worth of time.

Hyunjin tugged at his damp hair in agitation.

Do the right thing.

Picking up his duffel, he quietly checked he'd gotten every one of his belongings before heading out the door. His desires fought him every step out of her room. He glanced at her sleeping figure before taking a deep breath and continuing away.

He headed quietly down the stairs, and across the living room, before opening the front door. Confusion, agitation, frustration, and indecision tugged at his heartstrings and settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, like he'd eaten something that had gone bad.

A tear ran down his cheek as he started off down the street.

Hyunjin lifted his head from the pillow as his phone let out a ding, signalling a new notification. Groaning and wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands, he reached across and glared at the bright screen.

yeji 🍭: hey, where'd you go? yeji 🍭: i woke up and you were gone

Hyunjin sighed and flopped onto his back. He'd fallen asleep as soon as he'd gotten home, but not before having a little cry. He'd never tell any of the boys, but he liked the feeling of crying, the feeling of the weight lifting off his shoulders. He typed out a reply.

hyunjin: sorry, i had to go, i was expected home yeji 🍭: could've left me a note, jinnie yeji 🍭: i thought you would have stayed the night yeji 🍭: it would have been nice, just the two of us hyunjin: what do you mean? hyunjin: i mean i've stayed the night before, but it seems like you're saying something different this time... yeji 🍭: i mean yeji 🍭: you know yeji 🍭: it is different hyunjin: how so? yeji 🍭: you know why it's different, jinnie.

Hyunjin's hands fumbled and he dropped his phone on his forehead at her reply. He winced and rubbed the red spot on his forehead.

She knows. She knows. She knows.

He shoved his phone under his pillow and buried his face in it, trying to erase the whole evening from his mind. Regret washed over him. He should have just denied her 'tutoring' invite and gone home. He could have saved himself all the time and trouble.

And all of the tears.

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lonely st. ✧ chapter iv : falling

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: lonely reader, school!au, hyunjin's knees are finally healing, someone else is kinda mean to y/n, swearing, descriptions of panic attacks and forced isolation, hyunjin is the sweetest softest boy ever

a/n: ...this took a while

series masterlist | skz masterlist

"Yah, Hyunjin, what the fuck did you do to your knees?"

Hyunjin looked across at Jisung, pulling his basketball jersey on.

"Oh," he said calmly. "I fell."

Jisung tutted at him, waggling a finger in Hyunjin's face. They were the last three boys in the changing rooms, having been split into smaller teams for longer, more individualized training. Felix watched the interaction with interest, piping up.

"You fall over a lot, you know," he observed. "Surprisingly often for the school's star basketball player."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, turning back to his locker, tying the cords of his shorts. His gaze flitted down to his knees, where he'd stuck the bandaids Y/n had given him. They were quite sticky considering the designs; Hyunjin had seen Jisung buy colourful bandaids that didn't last more than ten minutes.

Two of the bandages were stuck to his left knee, one yellow with a smiley face across it, and the other solid stripes of light pink and purple, like a Cheshire cat. The one on his right knee was lime green, with solid black writing that detailed 'I'M OKAY' in wobbly writing. He loved them so much.

The fourth bandaid he'd stuck to his face, replacing the little chicken one that had peeled off. It was white, with a little pink and black spider in the middle, his favourite one so far. Truthfully, the little cut on his cheekbone had practically healed by now and didn't need anything covering it, but Hyunjin liked wearing the bandaids. It made him feel connected to Y/n, and he felt brighter somehow, as if he was one of her colourful keychains or pins.

Shaking his head, he turned back to Jisung and Felix with a smile. "Just a clumsy spell, I guess. It should heal before the championship."

Felix side-eyed him from his own locker. "It better. Jisung is hopeless on offense-"

"I'm not!"

Hyunjin let a small laugh escape his mouth. He looked across at his friends, neatly folding his uniform and placing it neatly on the shelf. He paused in his actions.

Jisung was holding his shirt above Felix's head, clearly attempting to hit him, the other boy's arms braced against his temples. They were both frozen, staring at Hyunjin with gaping mouths.

Hyunjin blinked, cutting himself off. "You know, I- what?"

Jisung whispered. "You laughed."

Hyunjin frowned. "What? Is it illegal now?"

Felix scrambled up from his position. "No, no, it's just- you've been so downcast lately. We thought something was really wrong."

Jisung chimed in. "Yeah. First it was the falling over at practice, then the being distracted during class. We were pretty worried, dude."

Hyunjin felt a little guilty at having worried his friends. His cheeks flushed and the bandaids on his knees and face suddenly felt like burning beacons. Jisung had promised not to tell anyone about his attempts to befriend Y/n, but he hadn't approved or disapproved of it. And Felix was a close friend too, but Hyunjin felt there would always be a possibility that they might not like it. Either that, or they would think he liked her. Most likely the second option.

His voice was quiet as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "I just felt stressed the last few days. I've just had a lot to do."

Felix's eyes narrowed. "You're literally never busy...?"

Panic set into Hyunjin's gut, frantic and buzzing. He stuttered a little, trying to come up with a quick lie to fool his friend.

"It's because of Y/n," Jisung blurted out suddenly.

Hyunjin threw his hands up in exasperation. "Jisung! I told you not to say anything!"

Felix's eyes bounced between them. He walked closer to Hyunjin, his gaze confused. "Y/n? You mean the weird loner girl in our class? The one who always disappears at breaktimes?"

"She's not weird," Hyunjin snapped at him, voice echoing in the locker room.

Felix's eyes widened a little, clearly taken aback. Jisung shut his mouth immediately, his friend's unusual outburst blanketing the room in a thick, heavy silence.

"You don't have to be such a jerk, Felix," Hyunjin flared at him again, well aware of the nastiness in his voice.

"Alright, man. Sorry."

Felix's voice was quiet, subdued, and Hyunjin felt a rush of remorse settle heavily in his stomach, the feeling sour in his mouth. He exhaled and sat down on the bench, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Just- she's not weird."

Felix gingerly sat down next to him. He was shirtless, having been halfway through taping his shoulder, and Hyunjin could feel the heat radiating off his skin. Felix placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as Jisung moved to sit down on his other side.

"I didn't mean it, Hyunjin," Felix's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

Hyunjin exhaled, running a hand through his dark, sleek hair. "It's fine. Just- she's not mean and intense and cold like everyone thinks she is. She gave me the chicken bandaid after I fell that time at practice, and all of these too." He gestured to his knees.

"I was wondering where you got those from," Felix chuckled, touching the one on his friend's face. "They're cute. Did you ask her for them?"

"No," Hyunjin replied softly, the ghost of a smile on his face. "She noticed both times and gave them to me. Felix, you don't understand, she's really sweet. Maybe a bit shy and awkward, but not cold. Not at all."

Felix smiled across at Jisung as Hyunjin talked. Jisung pouted cutely, pressing a hand discreetly to his heart in an 'aww' gesture.

"I wonder if she carries them around," Jisung said thoughtfully. "Maybe she's clumsy just like you, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin nodded silently in response. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't actually recall seeing her wear any of the colourful bandaids, not even on her hands or under the hem of her skirt. He wondered what she could possibly need them for.

Jisung leaned his head against Hyunjin's shoulder as Felix spoke up.

"Are you gonna get mad at me if I ask if you maybe, possibly, sort of like her?"

Hyunjin shook his head. "No, I don't. But there's no harm in being her friend. I don't know her that well, like, at all, but if I can make her life a little easier, then I should."

Jisung smiled. "That's sweet, dude. Maybe, once you get closer with her, we could start talking to her too."

Felix grinned, agreeing.

"Thanks," Hyunjin said softly. "I'm just going to be cautious around her from now on because I don't want to scare her off again. But maybe, once she opens up a little bit."

Jisung stood up, slapping his friend on the back. "Alright, that's settled, then. Let's go out to practice now. Oh, and Hyunjin, don't worry us like that again, man... It was weird not hearing your 1000 decibel laugh."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, Felix snickering in the background.

"Don't worry," he said. "I won't."

Y/n kept her head down as she weaved throughout the students laughing and shouting in the hallways. The corridors were always busiest at lunchtimes. She ducked her head to avoid a tall senior who was wildly gesturing his arms in an animated retelling to his friend.

Looking behind her to make sure she wasn't about to get hit in the head, Y/n came up short just as she almost bumped headlong into Yeji. Her heart sank.

"Hey!" she greeted, smiling. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Y/n's fingers tightened around her sketchbook, fingers digging into the smooth, sticker-bombed surface. She gulped, palms beginning to sweat as she stared at Yeji. She'd been friends with her for almost three years, and there were not grudges between them, but for some reason Y/n found she couldn't reply.

"Um, yeah," she replied rather stiffly.

Yeji tilted her head, waving a hand in Y/n's face. "Helloooo? Anyone home?" She giggled.

Y/n flinched as Yeji's perfectly manicured hand waved in her face. She felt a searing pang of frustration and irritation shoot through her. Stepping back, she clutched her sketchbook to her chest, not knowing how to get out of the situation. The air around her suddenly felt hotter, and her shoulders were tense, like stretched rubber bands.

"Hey, Y/n!"

Y/n let out a tiny, gasping breath as Hyunjin jogged up to them. His hair was mussed and slightly slick, his tie loose and shirtsleeves rolled up messily. He must have come straight from playing basketball on the courts. Y/n saw Yeji subconsciously reach up to fix her hair, drawing a pale, pretty hand through the dark orange locks, pressing her lips together to even out the sparkly pink gloss smeared across them.

But Hyunjin paid her no mind, his smile directing its force towards Y/n. She noticed a textbook under his arm.

He tilted his head at her, inviting. "Did you wanna go to the library?"

Y/n was taken aback. There was a look in Hyunjin's eyes, some sort of layer to them that Y/n had never seen before. They were sort of slitted, his eyebrows slightly raised.

He's trying to get me out of the situation, she realised.

"S-sure," she stuttered, cursing herself inwardly.

Hyunjin gave Yeji an effortless smile and gestured for Y/n to walk alongside him. Yeji's smile dropped as he walked a few paces past her to Y/n.

Dropping her head, Y/n shuffled to him and he began to make casual, friendly conversation as they walked down the hallway. clearly attempting to distract her.

Yeji glared after them.

Hyunjin glanced across at Y/n as she slumped down into her usual seat, the table hidden from the rest of the library by the tall, slightly dusty shelves. He sat down delicately next to her, shuffling his chair a little bit away from her so as to give her space.

Her head was down on the desk and Hyunjin sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, wondering if he'd messed things up. But she hadn't looked exactly comfortable when he'd seen her talking to Yeji. He'd calmly observed from a distance, until Yeji had waved her hand in Y/n's face.

He knew she probably meant no harm, but it was clear that Y/n was beginning to panic after she flinched, so he had jogged up to her to try and give her an excuse to leave.

Hyunjin wondered if Y/n and Yeji were really friends. He'd seen them together a few times, talking, usually in a group with Ha-eun, Aeri, and Sangmi, but for some reason Y/n always seemed like she wasn't enjoying herself, usually quietly listening to the others talk excitedly or with her face buried in her sketchbook.

Hyunjin frowned a little, running his fingertips along the side of his closed textbook. If she had friends, why did she choose to be alone? Were they bullying her?

"Hey," he whispered. "You okay?"

He could hear tiny, short gasps coming from her side of the table and he fidgeted desperately, not sure what to do. He was pretty sure she was panicking. He'd heard Jisung do the same thing a couple times, usually after really important basketball matches. But he didn't understand why it happened, or what it was. Jisung kept it quiet, and Hyunjin didn't wish to intrude, so he'd patted his friend on the back and fetched his coach.

Then he had left.

You can't do that to Y/n, Hyunjin thought. I can't leave her, but I'm afraid if I stay, I might make it worse.

He scooted his chair just a tiny bit closer, keeping note of her breathing. His hand hovered unsurely over her back, wanting to offer some sort of comfort. Jisung had told him that different people liked to be comforted in different ways. He wondered how Y/n preferred to be treated when she was upset. He made a mental note to ask her later.

Leaning down to her level, Hyunjin placed one arm on the table, turning his head towards her. He exhaled and the warm breath stirred Y/n's hair. She didn't move. Hyunjin could see one hand pressed to her mouth, covering it. The other was hidden by her blazer lapel, pressed against her chest. Her knee was bouncing up and down rapidly and Hyunjin bit his lip, reaching out a feather-light hand to gently still it. Her knee stopped bouncing.

Hyunjin whispered to her worriedly. "Y/n, are you sick?"

A slight shake of the head. Hyunjin looked around for someone who could help, but he couldn't see past the library shelves. He stood up slowly, bending down to whisper to her.

"I'm gonna go find someone, okay?" He told her determinedly. "They can help-"

"No," she whimpered, almost inaudibly.

Hyunjin's eyes widened. Sitting down again, he leant close to her. Her hand, much smaller than his, moved to grip his wrist. It didn't even go all the way round. Hyunjin blinked, taken aback, but Y/n's tiny, hiccupping voice directed his attention to her instantly.

"Don't leave me," she gasped, a tiny sob leaving her mouth. Her head was still down on the desk. "Hyunjin, don't go, please-"

Hyunjin's brow creased in worry and he couldn't hold himself back any longer. Placing a gentle arm around her, he shuffled closer and leaned his head on the table next to hers.

"It's okay," he said as comfortingly as he could. "I won't leave. Just try and breathe, okay?"

He suddenly became aware that telling her to breathe wasn't really helpful advice, but he didn't know what else to do. What were you supposed to do when things like this happened? Was he supposed to stay? What was he supposed to say to her?

Tears pricked at the corners of Hyunjin's eyes.

Help her, Hyunjin. Do something.

Not knowing what else to do, he quietly began telling her about his day. About how he had to do his homework while the teacher was collecting it because basketball practice ran late last night and he didn't have time. About how he had seen Jisung, his friend, inhale half his food the second the bell went so he could go talk to a girl he liked from his English class.

"They spent literally the whole first breaktime flirting," he told her quietly. "My friend Felix had to grab him by his collar because we all share a class. Jisung always makes us late."

Hyunjin fought a relieved smile as he saw Y/n turn her head just a little, indicating she was listening. Her breathing was evening out and Hyunjin kept talking in a low, reassuring voice until he was positive she had calmed down completely.

"We had practice again this morning, and championships are soon, so we got split up into teams. Coach also told me after practice that he liked my bandaids. See?"

Y/n turned her head a little more as he shuffled back in his chair, facing his legs towards her. He pointed to the lime green one on his right knee, with the 'I'M OKAY' wobbly black writing.

"That one's my favourite," he said softly, sincerely. He pointed to the pink and purple striped one. "And this one reminds me of you, because it's like your bag, all these cool, colourful pins and keyrings."

He tapped his cheek, where the white bandaid with the pink and black spider symbol was stuck. "This one's my favourite, so I put it on my cheek. The cut's actually healed now, but I like it. I feel all decorated."

Y/n lifted her head slightly, a tiny sniff coming from her. He still couldn't see her face, so he brought his arm up a little, giving her comfort. He knew people didn't like to be seen crying.

"Hey," he whispered to her sincerely. "Are you feeling a little bit better?"

She nodded, lifting her head. There were tear stains down her cheeks, and her nose and eyes were red. Hyunjin dug in his pocket and produced a tissue, handing it to her. He always carried them around, finding them useful at random times, but he'd been secretly keeping one in his pocket in case his new friend needed it.

He silently congratulated himself as Y/n took the tissue with a tiny nod of thanks.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Hyunjin met her eyes with a soft, worried gaze. "Why would you be sorry?"

"I wasted your time and now you have to sit here with me while I be a drama queen and cry-"

Hyunjin cut her off determinedly. "No, Y/n... I saw you were uncomfortable, and I did it because of that, but also..." His cheeks flushed, feeling warm. "I wanted to spend time with you." He finished quietly, admitting.

Y/n's gaze flitted to him, confused. She sniffed. "Why?"

He smiled back, a little embarrassed, but intent on telling her his intentions.

"It's actually really nice here. Besides, sometimes I don't feel like hanging out with my friends Jisung and Felix, or playing basketball, or talking at all, to be honest. Especially when I'm tired. But I always did it anyway because I didn't have anywhere else to go during lunchtimes."

He poked her shoulder gently, smiling. "And now I do, and I've got a new friend to do it with as well. Or classmate, who likes talking to me... At least I hope you do."

Y/n looked anywhere but him, feeling that strange, warm feeling settle in her stomach again. For some unknown reason it only happened around the dark-haired basketballer.

Hyunjin let out a little cheer of joy just as a tiny, reluctant smile cracked Y/n's mask.

Felix turned to Hyunjin as they walked down the little path leading to the bus stop. Jisung was walking ahead, seemingly in a better mood than usual; for Felix and Hyunjin, that meant supervising him while he bounced off the walls and stole random leaves off the trees on the sidewalk.

Felix huffed and called out a warning to Jisung who had almost tripped up ahead, before turning to Hyunjin.

"You catching the bus with us today?"

Hyunjin shook his head. "I found out that me and Y/n pretty much live really close, and we both go down the same street, so I asked her to walk with me like I did yesterday."

Felix grinned. "Seems like she's coming around."

"I hope so," he said quietly. "Sorry about leaving you with Jisung. I think he had one of those sugary energy drinks earlier between classes."

Felix rolled his eyes. "I'll be lucky if I get him onto the bus without him tripping and starting a fire of some sort."

Hyunjin laughed and squeezed his friend's arm just as the bus rolled up. He waited until Felix and Jisung had both entered and sat down, then he began turning and walking back the way he'd came. He'd asked Y/n to come with him while he walked his friends to the bus stop, but she had shyly declined, shaking her head before he had even finished his question. She seemed avoidant of being around large groups of people, Hyunjin observed.

She'd settled to wait at the school gates while he had walked the short distance to the bus stop. Looking up, she noticed Hyunjin approaching with a smile.

"Hey," he greeted. "Thanks for waiting for me."

Y/n nodded and they began to walk in silence. Hyunjin kept up a constant stream of cheerful chatter as they walked, skipping over stones. They passed the spot where Hyunjin had fallen and scraped his knees, and Y/n took his arm cautiously, eliciting a small, affectionate smile from the boy.

Reaching the willow tree, Hyunjin rounded the corner, gesturing for Y/n to follow him with a smile. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Let's go for a while longer, down to the shops," he told her. He hurriedly corrected himself at her expression. "Y-you don't have to. If you want to, though...? It doesn't have to be for long-"

Y/n nodded solemnly. "Okay."

Hyunjin let out a breath of relief as they continued walking. It felt new and different walking past the usual route to his house. He glanced sideways at Y/n, who was busy looking up at the sky. He let one of his hands fall from his pocket and dangle at his side so he could catch her just in case she fell. Looking down at the pavement as they walked towards the shops, he let his other hand fall from his pocket too, mistrusting his own steps, though he was being as careful as he could.

He had enough bandaids on his body already.

Y/n's phone buzzed. Setting her sketchbook down, and slightly jarred at the interruption, she crawled across the bed and picked it up from the bedside. Turning the screen on, and hissing at the brightness, she slammed it down on the pillow.

Staying up late at night was one of Y/n's favourite things to do. It was the reason her eyes were always dark and strained, but the night brought a peace and serenity the daylight could never give her. She'd been sketching in her pad by the light of a little pocket torch when her phone had gone off.

Sighing and turning the torch off, she squeezed her eyes shut tight, adjusting them, before picking up her phone once more. Swiping into her home screen, she noticed several message notifications. Her heart jolted unpleasantly.

It was none other than Yeji. The last message had been sent a minute ago.

yeji 🌷: you up?

Y/n gulped before texting back.

y/n ⛓️: yeah y/n ⛓️: what's wrong? it's late yeji 🌷: i was just wondering something... i couldn't sleep so i thought i'd ask you anyway. sorry if i woke you y/n ⛓️: no, it's okay. what is it? yeji 🌷: today, when we were talking... you and hyunjin yeji 🌷: are you dating him?

Y/n buried her face in her pillow, letting out a muffled groan. She knew this was bound to happen. Not that she didn't appreciate Hyunjin's help for getting her out of the situation. She had no clue why she had become so upset when she'd run into Yeji. Maybe it was the fact that Yeji was smart, pretty, funny, loved by most of the girls in their grade. She was just so normal.

Y/n was well aware that she had no reason to really hate Yeji. After all, they were friends.

Then why did Yeji irritate her so much?

y/n ⛓️: what makes you say that? yeji 🌷: you guys have been hanging out a lot lately... yeji 🌷: i didn't think he would be into someone like you

Y/n frowned, turning the screen off suddenly. What did she mean, 'someone like her'? Someone as quiet or lonely as she was? Someone who was the outcast of the school?

She turned the screen back on, flicking into the messages.

y/n ⛓️: we're not dating yeji 🌷: then why does he keep talking to you? y/n ⛓️: because he's my friend, and he's in most of my classes too. why? yeji 🌷: just wondering, haha

Huffing, Y/n glared at Yeji's reply message. Just wondering, totally. Anticipating an argument building, Y/n exhaled before typing out a final message.

y/n ⛓️: my phone's about to die. sorry.

Then she turned it off.

Hyunjin absentmindedly tossed his basketball between his hands, watching as the sunlight cast patterns across the vibrant orange material. It was pretty early, with some students milling through the halls, but mostly the corridors were empty. Basketball practice had finished pretty early that morning. His knees were healing well, and he was feeling ready and prepared for the upcoming championship matches.

Jisung and Felix had stayed behind to run some training drills. Hyunjin knew that 'training drills' meant messing around and trying to hang from the hoops by their arms while their coach wasn't there. He appreciated the opportunity to quietly walk by himself nonetheless, smiling as he thought of the way Jisung would excitedly tell him about the morning's antics in form class.

Turning a corner, he ran directly into someone, dropping the basketball in surprise.

"Yeji," he said, blinking. "Sorry, I didn't see you."

She grinned at him, teasing. "Am I that short, Mr. Hwang?"

Hyunjin chuckled. Him and Yeji were somewhat close, having been in the same inner circle of their old friend group before it had eventually split. Hyunjin went with the boys on his basketball team and Yeji stuck with the other girls, some of which he'd seen with Y/n. Or around her, to be more specific. They usually ignored her, chatting excitedly, while she was left in the dust. Maybe they thought that there was no need to talk to her unless she talked first. The thought made his fingers tighten around the basketball as he moved to pick it up.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Yeji."

She smiled back, clearly pleased to have ran into him. "Yeah. How's basketball?"

"Good." They began walking down the hallways in silence. Yeji was seemingly expectant, and Hyunjin wondered if there was a group event or hangout he'd missed that she was about to pester him about. Maybe she was just waiting for his reply.

"So," Yeji began, eyes glinting as she looked up at Hyunjin. "You and Y/n, huh?"

There it is. Hyunjin fought the urge to roll his eyes as he replied.

"No, we're friends."

"That's what everyone says. Why else would you befriend her?"

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, basketball slipping a little under his arm. He frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

Yeji flicked a long strand of orange hair behind her shoulder, looking up at him innocently. "I mean," she said breezily, "she's kind of an outcast."

Hyunjin fought the urge to snap at her, or throw his basketball in her face, or tug her hair out. Or all three, preferably. But he kept his cool with some effort, masking his anger with the fake guise of coughing suddenly. His breath suddenly caught in his throat and he actually started coughing.

Yeji placed a manicured hand on his back in concern, leaning closer to him.

"You okay?" she said gently, in concern that Hyunjin had a feeling was entirely fake and most likely an excuse to get closer to him.

"Yeah," he said wheezily, knocking a fist against his chest. "All good."

Yeji tilted her head and they kept walking. Hyunjin wanted nothing more than to slap her in the face, but something in his gut told him to play along and see what Yeji said.

"So, about Y/n," he started hesitantly. "What do you mean, 'why else would i befriend her'?"

Yeji sighed. "Hyunjin, literally no one likes her. I'm only friends with her because she hangs around me like a fly. I was just wondering why you were friends with her."

Hyunjin's mouth pressed into a thin line. Yeji had always been pretty upfront and honest with him. But it was still jarring listening to her admit that three years of friendship with Y/n had been a lie. That she was just a pity friend. Hyunjin was disgusted.

But he couldn't tell Yeji that. Otherwise she would tell everyone and perhaps make up a few lies along the way. He'd seen her do it to another guy from the soccer team and it hadn't ended well. He'd left the school.

"It's just that I need help to pass English this semester," he said to her as honestly as he could. It was surprisingly convincing, considering it was a complete lie. "She's pretty smart."

Yeji blinked up at him through long lashes. "Is that why you keep going to the library with her? So she can tutor you?"

Hyunjin nodded.

Yeji continued, a hint of suspicion in her voice. "Y/n's pretty socially dumb, but not that much. What did you offer her in return for the tutoring? I doubt she would've done it for free."

Hyunjin blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "A date with me."

Yeji let out a short, high-pitched laugh. "No waaayyy, Hyunjin. That's so sneaky of you. I bet she didn't suspect a thing."

Hyunjin let out a short, forced laugh. "Yeah. I just really need to pass English, otherwise I might get kicked off the basketball team..."

They reached the end of the hallway. Yeji stopped and turned to him, tilting her head and smiling. "You don't have to rely on that loser to tutor you. I'm doing pretty well in English right now. I'll tutor you instead."

Panic seized Hyunjin's gut. "Oh, uhm- I'd hate to trouble you. Wouldn't wanna take up any of your time."

Yeji shook her head eagerly. "No, it's fine," she pulled out her phone and waved it in Hyunjin's face. "Text me a time and then you can come over to mine tonight, okay? It'll be fun."

Hyunjin had no choice but to nod. "Um, sure. I guess."

Yeji giggled, touching his arm. "And remember, this conversation stays between us. Don't tell your little friend Y/n, okay?"

Hyunjin nodded, forcing a smile onto his face.

"Sure, Yeji."

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

lonely st. ✧ chapter iii : the walls

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: mentions of injuries, hyunjin is clumsy, sad y/n, mentions of blood, nothing too graphic, descriptions of a panic attack

a/n: chapter three hehe, still going strong >:)

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Y/n trudged into the library, slumping down into her usual chair. Placing her forehead over her folded arms with a huff, she closed her eyes and tried to rest. It had been a particularly rough day, with the usual feeling of isolation eating at her more than it usually did. It wasn’t unusual for her to go whole school days without so much as saying a word, but it felt stranger today for some reason.

She figured it must be because of Hyunjin.

They had talked yesterday, when she had slipped him the little chicken bandaid, but she hadn’t seen him in the morning before school, or in form classes either. She found she strangely sort of missed him. It was like walking outside one morning, expecting it to be sunny, but instead it was raining.

No, pouring down.

Sighing, she nuzzled further into her arms and dozed for a while, inhaling the scent of her jumper. Turning her head to the side to get more comfortable, she noticed a pair of white and black basketball shoes under the table next to her own polished black shoes. Her heart thudded and she raised her head sleepily, her eyes meeting Hyunjin’s.

He was busy working on something yet again; some sort of essay. Y/n realised it was the one that had been handed out in class earlier that day. She swore she’d seen him finish it halfway before shoving it into his backpack and practically bolting to the gym. He’d been scribbling incessantly then, clearly in a rush, but here he was, sitting quietly next to her, writing with precision, his pencil pausing every few words to think out his next phrase. Y/n had never seen him so focused.

Resting her head cautiously on her forearms, Y/n watched him mutely, the sound of his pencil scratching against the paper the only sound in the otherwise silent library.

“Hi, Y/n,” he said quietly without taking his eyes off the paper.

Y/n flushed, not expecting him to catch her out. Her face flushed red and she sat up, unnecessarily adjusting the oversized sleeve of her dark blazer.

“Hi.”

A gentle smile graced Hyunjin’s lips. “Were you watching me?”

Y/n glared at him coldly.

He laughed, his eyes slitting. “Okay, alright, chill. I thought you fell asleep until you turned your head.”

“I did fall asleep.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry if I woke you.”

The question that had been in the back of Y/n’s mind suddenly sprung from her lips before she could hold herself back. “Why do you always sit here, Hyunjin?”

His head snapped up, pencil stilling in his fingertips, looking surprised and a little hurt. Y/n immediately regretted it, realising how harsh she’d sounded. Not knowing what to do, she pressed her mouth into a line, waiting for him to reply.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. “Do you not like it when I sit here?”

Y/n blinked, taken aback. “It’s- it’s just that you’re one of the most popular people in the grade, but you choose to sit here every lunchtime instead of playing basketball with your friends, or, I don’t know, being anywhere else except here. Hyunjin, I- it just doesn’t make sense.”

He sat up straighter. “It does make sense.”

Y/n shook her head. Hyunjin grabbed the bottom of her chair, turning it forcefully towards himself, so that he was eye-to-eye with her. Y/n’s shoulders tensed, her hands clenching the seat as Hyunjin leaned forward. His eyes were dark, captivating. Y/n gulped, her back straight against the chair, as Hyunjin’s arms rested on the sides.

“It does make sense,” he whispered sincerely. “I want to be friends with you.”

Y/n slammed the cubicle door shut behind herself. Sliding all the way down to the floor, she gasped, head falling into her hands.

Why did I run away?

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to forget the past few minutes. He’d just been talking to her, telling her he wanted to be friends, and she’d pushed him away, bolting from the library.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You’re so stupid.

Maybe it had been the forced proximity. Maybe it was the way Hyunjin had locked at her, dark, slitted eyes gazing into hers with the most kindness she’d been treated with in a long time. And it had scared her, felt so bizarrely unfamiliar, that she couldn’t stand to be near him any longer.

It was too risky. Hyunjin was too risky. All of it was.

Y/n’s back began to hurt from the curled up position, so she stretched a leg out and rested it on top of the closed toilet seat, eyes idly tracing the stitching on her shoes. A hot tear slipped down her cheek, followed by a few more, each one making her sink deeper into her thoughts. The only sound that could be heart from the otherwise quiet bathroom was muffled sobbing and gasping, echoing from the cold, lonely cubicle at the end of the row.

Hyunjin was probably just pulling some elaborate dare, trying to get her to open up so he could expose her and make her look like a total idiot. He was popular, sporty, handsome, so it made no sense for someone like him to be hanging around someone like her.

Y/n wiped her tears, and made a mental note to keep her distance.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin stood in the library, frozen. He’d gotten up and tried to stop her from leaving, but she’d fled like a wild hare, and now he wasn’t sure what to do. He was standing, hand outstretched, and now there was no Y/n to take it.

Stupid, Hyunjin thought. What was I thinking? I scared her off and now she might never talk to me again.

He leaned against the solid wooden table with a sigh, his hands clenching the edge. Dropping his head, his mind whirred as he tried to think of a way to make her understand that he wasn't a threat, he wasn't making fun of her, he wasn't trying to pull off some stupid, popular boy dare.

Hyunjin stumbled as the table behind him shifted and his lower back knocked against the solid surface. Wincing at the dull pain, he put a hand over the ache and hissed out through his teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut, sinking down to the floor, and tucked his long legs to his chest, grumpily blowing a bang out of his eyes.

What Jisung had said earlier in the day began to make sense. What was it he had said?

I'm just worried about you getting caught up in something you don't understand.

And he was right. So, so right. Hyunjin had to admit it to himself; he had no clue what Y/n was going through. If he was being honest, he didn't even know what sort of person she was. Maybe Jisung was right; maybe she chose to be alone, maybe she didn't mind the whispers behind her back, or simply chose not to pay attention to it. Maybe it was just a lifelong thing, and she was used to it, or perhaps didn't even realise how alone she was.

But surely, no one wants to be alone for that long.. He had no clue. His head spun with the possibilities. Maybe it was something at home, or a mental thing. Or she had trauma, or maybe she just didn't mesh well with most people. But Hyunjin had seen her with some of the girls, Sangmi and Ha-eun for sure, and Yeji too... if she had friends, why didn't she hang out with them? Why did she spend every single breaktime in the library alone, and avoid talking to anyone

"Maybe she's just scared," he said quietly to himself.

The bell rung.

"See you later, Hyunjin!"

Jisung jogged off to catch the bus, Felix at his tail. Hyunjin watched the chaotic pair shove each other onto the bus, fighting to scan their cards first, and simultaneously clashing heads. Hyunjin chuckled, rolling his eyes, and then turned and walked away in the opposite direction, down the street.

He trudged a little as he went, still feeling remarkably downcast. He wasn't sure why Y/n's rejection of the offer of his friendship had stung so much. Maybe it was just because he wasn't used to having people reject him. If anything, it was usually the opposite.

He pondered this as he walked. He couldn't really remember a time where people hadn't wanted to talk to him, or had at the very least rejected his attention. Girls liked him, and vied with their friends for his attention, his teachers and his basketball coach liked him very much, singing his praises, and he was a popular figure both in his friend group and at home. He wondered if it was all going to his head.

No, he told himself firmly. If it had all gone to my head, I wouldn't be thinking about it in the first place.

Hyunjin was so distracted by his thoughts that his foot caught on a stray tree branch lying near the edge of the pathway. He stumbled unceremoniously, arms flailing, scraping his knees painfully on the concrete.

"Shit," he swore. "Fuck, ow..."

Groaning, Hyunjin looked ahead, calculating how far he had left to walk home. He spotted a familiar figure up ahead, trudging into the distance like he had a few minutes earlier. His heart lifted.

Y/n.

Wincing, he stood up, his knees crying a sharp protest. Chiding himself for the unexpected fall, he took a tentative step forward, trying to ignore the stinging pain radiating from his joints. How was he supposed to play basketball like this? The championship was soon. He didn't have time to be messing around with knee injuries.

Hyunjin inhaled sharply and braced himself for the pain, beginning to run. Forget about the scrapes. He had to fix things with Y/n, let her know that he actually wanted her around, and meant no harm.

Probably not the best idea to chase after her like a psychopath, his rationality told him sensibly. But it sounded so far off, and frankly, Hyunjin just wanted the logical voice to shut up. Even if it meant his knees would be screaming for the rest of the night.

Being a basketballer, Hyunjin's footsteps were light and agile, so Y/n didn't hear him coming. She stopped and turned around just as Hyunjin did, so that they nearly collided, his nose brushing hers.

Y/n recoiled sharply, flinching, and Hyunjin immediately took two paces back, not wishing to scare her. Her hands lowered themselves slowly and pressed themselves over her heart like she was in shock.

Hyunjin stopped dead in his tracks. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes puffy, and her nose red from presumably rubbing it repetitively. Without a word, Hyunjin reached into his pocket and drew out a tissue, holding it out to her slowly.

Y/n glared at him. She looked about as defenceless and intimidating as an angry kitten. She turned and began walking away, her hands gripping the strap of her bag tighter, knuckles turning white.

"Y/n, please. Just wait."

Sighing, she stopped. Turning around, she regarded him with a wary, suspicious glare. Her voice was cracked and broken. "What?"

Hyunjin sighed, holding out the tissue and stepping just a tiny bit closer.

Y/n took it with two fingertips like she was afraid he was going to jump on her. Her eyes never left Hyunjin's face, and it reminded him strangely of the way birds at the park would cautiously take a breadcrumb if you scattered it near them.

She blew her nose, sniffed, and then scrubbed a hand under her eyes, the skin red and raw.

Sniff. "Happy?"

Hyunjin nodded. "I'm sorry I scared you at breaktime, grabbing your chair like that. I just- I really do want to be friends with you."

Y/n sighed dully. "I know this is some stupid dare, Hyunjin. Can you just leave me alone?"

Hyunjin spluttered, taken aback. "W-what? Dare? No, no, I mean it."

Y/n's brows furrowed. "That makes no sense, like I said earlier."

A pang of subconscious affection coursed momentarily through Hyunjin's veins. His eyes softened.

"Like I said too, it does make sense. Just because we're from different friend groups doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"It's high school, Hyunjin. That's exactly what it means."

He shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

Y/n huffed, still glaring. Hyunjin was almost impressed with how long she'd managed to retain the same laser-focused, disapproving gaze.

"Don't you have enough friends?"

"You aren't the only one who feels lonely, Y/n."

She went silent. Hyunjin bit his lip in slight panic, wondering if he'd overstepped a boundary. Was he making too many assumptions? Had he made her uncomfortable or worse, come across as someone who 'knew' everything about her? His heart sank, already knowing what her reply would be.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, almost inaudibly.

Hyunjin's head snapped up so fast he was sure it would be sore later. His head swum for a second as he fought to register her words.

"What?"

Y/n repeated herself, though a little irritatedly. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise that you were- you know. Feeling alone or whatever..."

She's choosing her words so carefully, he realised. She's so wary around me, and she still thinks that I'm faking. That all of this is some elaborate dare. Y/n, I would never.

Hyunjin's rationality piped up in the back of his head.

Tell her that, idiot!

He continued. "I, um... I mean it. It's just that- I've seen you, um, by yourself a lot, and I wanted you to know that my door is always open... and maybe we could be friends. Or at least classmates who talk to each other..."

Y/n raised a cautious eyebrow.

Hyunjin rushed to correct himself, waving his hands frantically back and forth. "S-sometimes! We can talk sometimes, or, I don't know, as much as you want if you're not that much of a talker-"

Y/n's brain whirred. Either Hyunjin was being genuine and he actually wanted her around, or he was just a really good actor. And Y/n was perceptive, knowing exactly when and how someone was lying, but the suspicion just didn't kick in as easily with Hyunjin as it normally did with everyone else.

Maybe he meant it.

But being friends, or acquaintances with him is still incredibly risky, Y/n reasoned stubbornly. It gives him an opening to hurt me. He could potentially strike as soon as he realises that I've let my guard down.

She glanced at him. A sorry sight, with his hair ruffled from the wind, and the chicken bandaid across his cheekbone beginning to unstick a little at the edges. His eyebrows were creased in worry and anticipation, his eyes slitting a little with the expression.

His bottom lip was caught between his teeth and she could see him wringing his hands, the faint sheen of sweat making them slip together. His bag was halfway off his shoulder, uniform shirt disheveled. One shoelace was untied and oh, fuck, Hyunjin, what did he do to his knees?

Y/n exhaled slightly, perhaps a little desperately.

It's not like I've got much left to lose.

Every instinct she'd build up over the years screamed at her not to reply, but the words fought themselves out of her mouth anyway, hesitant and shaky.

"Fine. We can be... classmates. Who talk, or whatever."

Hyunjin smiled so brightly Y/n thought his face would split in half. She felt an unusual warm, fuzzy feeling settling suddenly in her stomach. Maybe she was ill. She never felt like that.

"Thanks," he grinned. It softened to a little smile. Clearly his relief at her grudging agreement was profound. He must have been really hoping she would say yes.

A few stones crumbled down from Y/n's walls, letting in a ray of sunlight.

"So, um.. your knees."

Hyunjin winced, hauling his bag a little higher on his shoulder. The other strap hung, pressed against his back as he walked. Y/n wondered idly why backpack companies didn't just manufacture bags with one strap. It's not like anyone used both straps, not even Y/n herself.

"Yeah," he said, huffing it on an exhale. "I, um, fell."

Y/n looked up at him. "When?"

"Around ten minutes ago. I got distracted and tripped on a tree branch."

Y/n sighed, glancing at his knees, then his shoes.

"Your socks are stained."

Hyunjin swore and swiped a tissue from his pocket, dabbing at the stream of blood dripping from his knees. Y/n frowned in concern.

"You should really get that checked out."

Hyunjin glanced up at her, exasperated. "I have to make it home first. Speaking of, I didn't realise you lived around here."

Y/n nodded warily. "I think it's a few streets down from where you live. I think."

Hyunjin nodded quietly in reply. There was silence but for the sounds of their pattered, slow footsteps and a soft jingling. Hyunjin realised it was coming from Y/n's bag. She had so many keyrings. A couple Sanrio characters, a coupe anime-related badges and pins, and a silver chain pinned to the top of her bag, hanging down to be pinned again at the front pocket. There were safety pins and beads and Hyunjin found himself wondering how long it'd taken her to collate all of the items.

"That's really cool," he said quietly to her. "All of the badges and pins and stuff."

Y/n stuttered, clearly not knowing how to respond. Truthfully, she'd been nudging it more to her right side, away from Hyunjin's gaze as he walked on her left side. She was half-afraid he would judge her or think she was trying to be quirky or something like that.

She cleared her throat and looked down at the pavement as they walked.

"Thanks."

Hyunjin tilted his head curiously. "How long did it take you to put on all of the stuff?"

Y/n hummed. "Don't know. I just add them whenever I feel like it."

Hyunjin gave her an admiring smile. "I bet you'd have to be really careful since it's fiddly. It probably took a lot of focus."

Y/n let a tiny, rueful smile escape. "It took a lot of pinpricked fingers too."

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, the sound joyful in the afternoon light. Y/n's depressed spirit lifted just a tiny bit.

He really was interested. But she toned it back, not wanting to scare him off, or worse, come across as overenthusiastic or cringy.

They kept walking until the end of the street, where it rounded a corner in front of a large willow tree. Y/n stopped walking.

"My house is round that street," she said vaguely, still a bit wary.

"Oh," Hyunjin said, feeling suddenly downcast. Had the walk really been that short?

He gave her another smile anyway, hoping to ease her worries. "I, um. I'm gonna keep walking. My house is just round that corner and down the street there."

Y/n nodded, apparently having nothing more to say.

Hyunjin nodded back awkwardly. He turned and began walking away from her, the leafy, soft strands of the fallen willow leaves chasing at his heels. The throbbing in his knees suddenly became more apparent; he hadn't even realised he'd been in pain, too distracted with talking to Y/n as they had walked.

Magic, Hyunjin thought. His hand gripped the strap of his backpack a little tighter as he tried not to look back.

"Hyunjin, wait..."

His hopes lifted suddenly and he turned back, looking at Y/n. He took a careful step towards her, a little pace. She gestured him back awkwardly. Approaching her, he noticed she was holding out a little paper, folded in half.

"Here," she said shyly, not looking him in the eyes.

Hyunjin took it from her gently, their fingertips brushing. He carefully unfolded it, the small weight inside turning out to be four bandaids. His cheeks warmed with affection at her hesitant gesture.

"Thank you," he said gratefully.

Y/n nodded stiffly, whispering a quiet 'bye' as Hyunjin turned and walked away. She watched him go, still registering the whole interaction. Was he lying? Was he faking? Or did he mean it, mean all of it?

Y/n couldn't decide. Her brain logically filtered out conclusions, each thought a brick building up the battlements, but she couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach. He'd noticed her and she hadn't even needed to reach out first. Despite Hyunjin's apparent amiable nature, she couldn't help but feel that there was still some sort of catch. She made another mental note to keep an eye out for any sign that his interest in her could be fake. Because there was always a chance it was some sick little game.

Having to be cautious all of the time was exhausting but she told herself firmly to keep her guard up around him. After all, he was just another person in her class, another person who could hurt her, another person who could take her heart as soon as she offered it and smash it to pieces on the floor.

Or the could be classmates.

Who talked, or whatever.

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

lonely st. ✧ chapter ii : the first glimpse

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: lonely reader, school!au, hyunjin gets a minor injury ft. concerned basketballers jisung and felix, awkward y/n

a/n: i had so much fun writing jisung's dialogue, he is truly best friend goals

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Hyunjin leaned against the lockers, his long, lean frame sagging onto the slightly dented metal surface. Early morning sunlight filtered in through the school windows. He held a basketball in his hands and was turning it thoughtfully, lost in his own mind.

"-and then she said to me, like, all whiny, Jisung, you can't eat that, I need it for my science dissection- Yah. YAH. Hyunjin! Have you even been listening to my story?"

Hyunjin's head snapped up, wide, unfocused eyes meeting his friend's. He shook his head lightly.

Jisung groaned, slamming his locker door shut and snatching the basketball from Hyunjin. He tossed it up in the air a couple times and made to fake-pass it to his friend.

Hyunjin flinched, his hands coming up unsurely.

"Man, you're really out of it," Jisung said in half-concern, half-wonder. "You never fall for the fake-pass thing. What's up?"

Hyunjin sighed, shaking his head. "I- um, just haven't been sleeping that well lately. It's fine."

Jisung scoffed as they both began to walk to their morning basketball practice. He absentmindedly tossed the ball up in the air, catching it with a smooth, practiced ease.

"Nice try, dude. You sleep like a dead log. Come on, just tell me."

Hyunjin sighed, for once feeling a little irritated towards his best friend and his unusually perceptive nature. But he shoved it down without a second thought.

He's only trying to help.

"I, um- there's this girl," he began unsurely.

Jisung let out a highly overexaggerated gasp, his breath catching in his throat. He dropped the basketball and doubled over, thumping his chest. Sighing and patting Jisung's back firmly, Hyunjin jogged to pick the ball up.

Jisung stood up, gasping as he cleared his throat loudly. He was grinning ear to ear, a sly smirk twinging at the corners of his mouth.

"Ohhh, I see. No, no, I get it. A girl," he drew the last word out, smirking at his friend.

Normally, Hyunjin would have shoved him playfully, teasing and laughing. But his face didn't betray even the slightest hint of a smile. He just couldn't feel cheerful if he tried, too buried in his thoughts to do anything but the smallest and most necessary of movements.

Jisung tilted his head at him, looking genuinely worried. Hyunjin was staring at the floor, plush bottom lip caught between his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in thought. Or distress. Or in mad, uncontrollable love.

Or all three, Jisung thought.

"Hyunjin, do you think Coach will split us into training teams for the championship rounds? Because he did that last time, and I got stuck with your idiot friend here."

Jisung whined, tossing a half-empty can of deodorant at Felix, who caught it effortlessly.

"I'm not that bad," Jisung huffed. Felix just rolled his eyes, turning back to his changing locker with a subtle mutter of 'yes you are'.

The locker room was unusually quiet; most likely due to the early hour. No sane teenage boy wanted to be at school this early, and not for basketball practice at the very least either. Not that Hyunjin noticed, still lost in his thoughts.

Felix tugged his shirt off tiredly, digging through his bag for his jersey and shorts. He moved next to Jisung, picking up his clothes where he'd left them lying on the bench. Slipping his jersey on with a disgruntled huff, he leant in to whisper discreetly to his friend.

"Is Hyunjin okay? He's been standing like that for, like, fifteen minutes."

True to Felix's word, Hyunjin had been standing at his changing locker for a while. His usual white shirt was half tugged off, his jersey hanging limply from his hands. He was staring down dimly into his bag, where unbeknownst to his friends, he'd hidden Y/n's pen.

"I don't know," Jisung whispered back. "He's been like that all morning."

Felix's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Do you know what happened?"

Jisung sighed, slipping his own jersey on. "Some girl. I don't know. But he's been super down for some reason."

Felix's voice was low and conspiratorial. "Do you think he got dumped by some chick?"

Jisung shook his head. "Nah, I would have known. He won't talk much, though, so I just left him to it, I guess."

"Maybe he just needs time."

Jisung nodded somberly. He watched as the other boys filtered out of the locker room in yawning, hair-ruffled groups to the indoor courts.

Felix glanced at Hyunjin sympathetically before shrugging and moving away.

"Come on, boys, pick up those feet! Felix, Changbin is open, pass, pass! Like that!"

The squeaking of shoes against the polished courts and the thud of the basketball bouncing were the only sounds in the spacious, sunny gym.

Jisung wiped his sweaty forehead, tossing the ball back to Changbin as they weaved their way down the courts. They'd been playing a lot of practice games lately in preparation for the upcoming schools' championship. Glancing back at Hyunjin, who was still dragging his feet and definitely not on his usual game, Jisung sighed before running to catch up and defend his team member, who was attempting to shoot.

Hyunjin looked up just as the ball flew towards him; he caught it reflexively and began dribbling down the court. Felix, who was on the other team, made to snatch it; Hyunjin stepped back just as Felix stepped forward.

Making to dribble around his friend, Hyunjin dodged to the left, his foot catching, and fell to the floor with a sickening thud, the air whooshing unpleasantly out of his lungs.

Felix knelt down immediately, asking if he was okay, and Jisung jogged over just as Hyunjin rolled over, heaving. Felix gasped. Struggling to his hands and knees, he let his friends pull him upright. Coach blew his whistle, brows furrowing in concern, eyes zeroing in on his star player's face.

"Hyunjin! Take five. And go wash your face."

Groaning, he dragged himself off the courts and to the side, sitting down heavily on the bench. Pressing a hand to his stomach, he fought the urge to shout in frustration.

Jisung and Felix glanced at each other worriedly before resuming the game.

Hyunjin couldn't stand it anymore. Getting up with a huff, he muttered something about getting a drink and headed out of the gym, pushing the double doors shut behind himself. He wandered down the corridor, trying to ignore the slight throb in his chest. He'd fallen a lot harder than expected.

A sudden thud to his left made him look across into the opposite connecting corridor. He slipped back just in time, peeking into the hallway.

Y/n was on her hands and knees, trying to gather a stack of books, which had been scattered across the floor. Hyunjin wondered if she'd fallen over, or tripped maybe.

A group of girls from their grade were walking past, giggling and chatting about the latest whatever. Hyunjin's hands tightened on the wall just as they pointedly looked away from Y/n as they passed by, who had looked up for help.

Hyunjin stepped back into the corridor just as the girls disappeared down the hallway. Checking that they were gone, he began walking as casually as possible down the hallway, kneeling in front of Y/n. He picked up one of her books, a sleek, dark sketchpad.

"Hi," he said cautiously.

Y/n glanced at him warily before taking the sketchpad from Hyunjin's hand. She gathered the rest of her belongings and stood up, her eyes flitting to him, still kneeling.

"You're bleeding," she said hesitantly, quietly. Then she turned and walked away.

Hyunjin pressed a hand to his cheek, his fingertips coming away lightly stained in red.

Y/n leaned back in her chair, a pencil flicking between her fingertips. Scribbling down a few notes in her notebook, she set the pencil down and picked up her novel, flipping to the latest page. She smoothed out the folded corner before settling down to read.

The library was pretty much empty at lunchtimes; hardly anyone came in besides the few senior students looking for study references. Y/n thought it rather a shame; it was a lovely place, all tall, dark shelves and little hidden corners to read in. Sunlight filtered in through the arched glass windows and drew patterns across the long, polished tables.

At the same time, she was grateful; it was both a blessing and a curse that she had the opportunity to be alone. She liked being in the library, spending her spare time delving into books and sketching little drawings in her pad.

No distractions, no drama, no friends, no company.

Y/n had learned to accept the fact that she was a loner, a social outcast. Sure, she had a sort of friend group, with Sangmi, Ha-eun, Yeji, and Aeri, but they never really included her. They did try, Y/n supposed, but she never felt the spark of a social connection, never felt like she was truly part of the group.

And besides, Y/n reasoned, they always talked about things Y/n either didn't understand or wasn't a part of. The latest song release, their love lives, Sangmi's amazing achievements, the newest drama in their grade. They had all been friends since primary school, while Y/n had sort of become a pseudo-member only a couple years ago. She was a weird growth stemming off to the side, not a stranger but not exactly welcomed either.

At least, she felt like she was unwelcomed. Maybe it was just her head getting to her, but Y/n just couldn't shake the feeling of alienation. And it ate at her more and more every day. It was just easier to keep her head down and pretend like she didn't care. It was just so much easier to be alone, even if it hurt.

A sudden shuffling of footsteps halted her spiraling thoughts. Y/n hastily buried her face in her book.

Hyunjin sat down cautiously opposite her, sliding into the seat. He opened his notebook and began scribbling something.

Y/n blinked in surprise, the feeling quickly overtaken by half a scowl. Why was he always everywhere? The pen-borrowing in class, the falling over this morning, and now here. Speaking of, he still hadn't given her pen back. What did he want?

He's probably sitting with me out of curiosity or pity, Y/n thought. Or he thinks I'm trying to get his attention. Stupid, sporty boy.

Y/n huffed and slid further down in her chair, glaring over the rim of her book. Hyunjin hadn't looked up; he was quietly working on something, brows furrowed slightly in concentration. He wasn't disturbing her, or being pushy, just- sitting there.

But why here, of all places?

Y/n noticed the little cut across his cheekbone. He must have washed it out after she'd told him. She wondered what had happened; maybe he got hurt at basketball. After all, she knew he played, and he had been in his jersey when he'd moved to help her pick up her books.

He was dressed in his usual white shirt, the sleeves half rolled up his forearms. His dark tie was slightly loose under the grey sweater vest, which was a tad too big. Y/n grudgingly thought that the oversized style suited him much better anyway. He was missing his usual dark blazer.

Hesitantly, she set down her book, eyeing Hyunjin across the table. He didn't look up, still writing. Reaching into the front pocket of her bag, she pulled out a bandaid, a little cutesy chicken face detailed in yellow across it. She slid the paper-packaged item across the table to him.

"You shouldn't leave injuries uncovered, stupid," she said to him disapprovingly. "It'll get infected."

Hyunjin smiled at her warmly despite the quip, carefully undoing the adhesive strips and sticking the bandaid over the cut.

"Thanks. At least it's covered now."

Y/n nodded awkwardly, still half-glaring at him. She picked up her book, trying to focus.

"Do you always carry around bandaids?"

Y/n looked up at Hyunjin. "What?"

"You know," he gestured to her bag. "D'you keep a stash of them?"

She nodded.

"How come?" he said quietly, curiously. His face brightened suddenly. "Do you play sports too?"

Y/n scoffed. "No."

"Oh. Then why?"

"I- I just fall over a lot."

Hyunjin nodded, settling back into his chair with an effortless smile, effectively ending the small conversation.

She's lying through her teeth, he observed. Y/n never stutters.

"How's your little friend, Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin glanced over his shoulder at Jisung behind him, who was leaning on the desk with one hand, head propped up. The worksheet they were supposed to be filling out in groups was blank under his forearms.

Hyunjin scoffed just as Jisung smirked. He leaned in so no one could overhear, the chatter in the classroom masking his low voice.

"Don't be like that," he said quietly. "It's not-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Jisung's voice tilted to a whiny, high-pitched lilt. "It's not like that. Heard it before, dude. C'mon. You like her, right?"

Hyunjin scoffed. "No."

"You sure?"

"She just seems really alone, so I thought I'd sit with her."

Jisung's smirk dropped in realisation. "Oh."

They both glanced behind themselves to where Y/n sat in the corner by herself, diligently filling out the worksheet. It had been ten minutes and she was already almost done. As per usual.

Jisung winced. "Hyunjin, as your best friend, I say this from the bottom of my heart; you can do a lot better."

Hyunjin slapped his friend sharply upside the head. "I told you, it's not like that. It's not a crime to talk to someone who seems really lonely."

Jisung rubbed the back of his head, huffing. "Alright, sorry, sorry. It's just that she seems really intense."

Hyunjin tugged at his tie thoughtfully. "She's pretty upfront and honest, I guess, but not mean like most people think. You know how I fell over at practice this morning?"

Jisung nodded, straight faced. "It was a very graceful, elegant fall."

"Shut up. Anyway, I went to the library to finish my essay at lunchtime and I went to sit with her. She gave me this bandaid."

Jisung tilted his head, smiling slightly. "I was wondering who gave you that. Felix will be jealous. He loves chickens."

Hyunjin saddled a leg over his chair, crossing his arms and leaning on the back of it to face Jisung. A long, dark bang fell into his face and he pushed it back impatiently.

"She's really not that bad. And besides, maybe all she needs is a friend. It can't be easy being so alone all the time."

Jisung hummed, balancing his pen on a finger. "Maybe she wants to be alone."

Hyunjin went silent. Maybe she did. But he figured there was no harm in at least becoming an acquaintance.

"Yeah, maybe," he said quietly. "But she kept looking at me curiously when I sat with her in the library earlier. She seemed really surprised that I chose to sit with her. And like I said, she wasn't being mean, just- a little awkward. Like she wasn't sure what to do."

Jisung absentmindedly ripped off a corner of his worksheet. "I feel really bad for her, to be honest."

"Then help me become friends with her."

Jisung spluttered, tossing the ripped corner off the side of the desk. Hyunjin rolled his eyes, picking the scrap up and shoving it into his friend's hand.

"Don't litter. Anyway, maybe she could do with some company."

"You have no clue about what kind of person she is, Hyunjin. Maybe she's just going through something."

"Sung, come on. How would you feel if everyone at school ignored you and you were a complete loner?"

"Well, first of all, I am a totally sick person, so that would never even happen in the first place-"

"Jisung."

"Oh, okay, fine," he threw his hands up. "Just keep talking to her and being nice and whatnot. See if she opens up or starts talking. Step up. I'm just worried about you getting caught up in something you don't understand."

Hyunjin shook his head vehemently. "I won't get caught up in anything. I promise."

Jisung huffed, twirling his pen. "Yeah, okay, we'll see. Now, let me copy your worksheet answers. I've already had five detentions this week."

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone

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hiii do you have a taglist for lonely st.?

i do not currently but i can start one! would you like to be added ? chapter two comes out soon ><

lonely st. ✧ masterlist (hyunjin x reader)

summary : Y/n has been struggling with depression for months, but the isolation she feels at school makes it feel even worse. It’s relentless, and no matter how hard she tries, she can’t escape the constant whispers, taunts, and loneliness. But then there’s Hyunjin—her curious classmate and a popular figure at school. Slowly, he begins to see the pain behind Y/n's eyes. With the help of his best friend, Han, Hyunjin offers Y/n something she didn’t know she needed: a lifeline.

warnings : depression, all characters are of high-school age, loneliness, bullying, school!au, mentions of injuries, literally nothing is proofread, more warnings will be added as chapters are released ! see the warnings at the top of each chapter for more information .

chapter i : invisible

chapter ii : the first glimpse

chapter iii : the walls

chapter iv : falling

chapter v : behind closed doors

chapter vi : broken mirrors

chapter vii : the people who care

chapter viii : the breaking point

chapter ix : healing

season finale - chapter x : a new dawn

a/n: guys i actually thought this one out