❤️❤️❤️

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Warm Embrace

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[NSFW] ‼ 18+ >MDNI<

Summary: The winter is cold and your boyfriend is very warm

Pairing: Dabi/Fem Reader

Content Warning: Smut, Fluff, Love making basically

Word Count: 1.6k

Disclaimer: Character belongs to Kohei Horikoshi

A/N: This is the 10th part of 12 fics for a 12 Days of Christmas event. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Prompt: Huddling for warmth

My Masterlist

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Winter is in full swing, with snowfall and icy air and you're so, so cold.

The power is out, your heater is busted, the backup generator is too, and you're struggling to light the fireplace with no success.

You've lit candles around the room for light, including a cinnamon scented one, casting a gentle glow and sweet cinnamon scent throughout the room, and gathered all the blankets you can find, trying to get some semblance of warmth, and it's just not enough.

At least you have a walking furnace for a boyfriend to come to your rescue.

~

You

my love, I am dying😔🥀

the power's out, my heater's busted and the fireplace isn't cooperating ☹

it's freezing outside and it is now becoming an inside problem🤩

plz come share your warmth 🙏💕

Bacon Bits💙

I knew you only wanted me bc I'm hot🙄

I'll be there 👍

You

my hero! 😻🙌💋

the door's unlocked 😽

~

You can't help but giggle at the irony every time you call him, a villain, your hero, but that's what he is to you, so he just has to put up with it.

He finds you on the floor, in front of the fireplace, bundled and cocooned in blankets after trying to make a blanket fort and giving up halfway.

You collected and dragged all of the pillows and blankets around your apartment, including the ones on your bed, to make it, but the cold got to you.

He huffs a laugh at your grumpy pout, but strides over to press a kiss to it nonetheless. You try to pull him down to cuddle immediately, but he resists.  "Lemme start the fire first and I'll come warm you up, okay baby?"

You pout some more, but nod through your pile and he moves to light it. One stream of fire from his fingertips later, the fireplace is lit, instantly bathing the room in orange light and already starting to warm the air.

"Thank you, Tou." You wiggle in your blanket cocoon, braving the chilly air to open your arms for him. He reaches for you with a soft smile, gathering you up in his arms, surrounding you in his warmth, and presses a kiss to your forehead.

"You don't gotta thank me for that, doll.", he murmurs, brushing his nose against your cold cheek, placing a gentle kiss to the soft skin there.

You melt into him, turning your face up to peck his lips. "I love you.", you murmur against him, and you feel him grin, before capturing your lips in a slow, languid kiss.

It's gentle and loving, with small nips and licks, gradually turning hotter and deeper as he cradles your face in a large, warm hand, holding you to him as he licks into your mouth.

You lean into his touch, panting softly as his mismatched lips trail down your jaw to your throat, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses along the way. He gently guides you to lay on your back, blankets pooling under you, tangling his legs with yours beneath the blankets.

You kiss and caress each other for a long while, just enjoying the feel of each other, but eventually your petting gets heavier, your touches hotter.

Icy fingertips trail up his spine as he snakes a hand up under your sweater to cup and knead your bare breast, he kisses his way down the length of your body. He pulls the sweater over your chest, exposing them and immediately latching his hot mouth onto a pebbled nipple, while his fingers pinch and roll the other between them.

You arch into his touch, moaning lowly as your hips jerk up to meet his, and he grinds his bulge down against you.

Pulling away from your chest, he considers leaving on your sweater because of the temperature, but decides against it, wanting to feel your skin against his. He'll keep you plenty warm.

He slowly strips you, mouthing at wherever he exposes your skin, sucking marks wherever he can, ridding himself of his own clothes along the way, until you're both a naked tangle of limbs.

His mouth is hot on your inner thighs where he kisses and sucks at the sensitive flesh, and as much as what he seems to be planning would be nice, you just want him close.

So you shake you head, carding your fingers through his snowy hair, and murmur, "Come up here. I want you to hold me."

His eyes glow like jewels in the light when he looks up at you, and he goes easily when you cup his scarred cheeks, guiding him up into a deep kiss.

Heated hands roam and caress your body, gentle and reverent as you press your bodies together and just bask in each other's touch.

His fingers create a trail of fire in their wake as they drag up your thighs, to slip between your wet folds. Your breath hitches at the touch, gasping into his mouth when a finger enters you.

It moves slowly, gently opening you up, and another soon follows. He pumps and scissors them within you, slowly stretching you out for him as he peppers kisses along your jaw and throat, eventually adding a third finger, all while drawing out sweet moans from you. You claw at his shoulders, whining in impatience. "Inside, hurry, please, inside."

He moves to nose at your cheek, smiling as he murmurs, "Hold on, baby. I need to make sure you're ready f'me.",  and he curls his fingers within you, up against your sweet spot.

You moan breathily, rolling your hips and grinding down on the thick digits.

"I'm ready, I'm ready, please." You pant, and he chuckles lowly at how sweet and needy you are, pulling out his fingers and making sure you see him suck them clean, before lining his hips up with yours.

You immediately wrap your legs around his waist, tugging him closer and causing his cock to slide through your slick folds. You both moan at the feeling, and he leans down to capture your lips with his; one forearm rests on the floor beside your head, supporting his weight, and the other hand holds your waist as he grinds against you.

You let out a keen at the pressure, your hips bucking up. 

"Please.", you whine, and you feel him twitch against you before he nods. He presses open mouthed kisses to your neck as he releases the grip on your waist to guide his cock to your hole, leaning back to gaze into your eyes as he slowly eases in, taking in your blissed-out expression and sweet, whimpering moan at the delicious stretch.

“Fuck,” he groans, kissing his way from your cheek to your ear, moaning softly into your ear before running his tongue up the shell of it.

He lets you adjust, gently rolling his hips, before slowly pulling back out and pressing back in.

You pant and gasp hot puffs of air  between you, your breaths mingling as he rests his forehead against yours, pretty blue eyes locked onto yours, rolling his hips gently, fucking you slowly, tenderly, lovingly, with deep, rocking motions, not even an inch separating skin from skin.

A scarred hand cups your cheek gently and draws you into a languid, filthy kiss as he makes love to you, tangled in blankets and each other in front of the crackling fireplace, the light making his staples glint like flecks of embers and your skin glow like the sun.

He peppers kisses to your cheek, your eyes, your forehead, your nose, your chin, pressing praise and adoration into your skin every time, before eventually whispering against your throat, "Fuck, I love you." The raw intensity and passion of his words burn into your skin, like a prayer, like a promise, as he holds you close.

Tears trickle down your cheeks, emotions and pleasure overwhelming you, and your breath hitches as you hold onto him with the same fierceness.

"I love you too.", your voice is wobbly and broken, and you gasp as his lips trail along your jaw, "So, so much, Touya."

"Say it again." He murmurs, demands, pleads.

"I love you." You choke out through your tears, both arms wrapped around him, nails dragging down his back as you cling onto him.

"Again." He presses a kiss to your tear stained cheek, his hand moving down to press a thumb to your clit, rubbing it in slow, firm circles, and you can feel your tummy tightening, the familiar heat settling in.

"I love you, Touya." You moan, your toes curling as your orgasm washing over you in a tidal wave, your walls tightening and fluttering around him, milking his cock, and he's dragged along with you, cumming hard and deep within you, his hot cum painting your walls white and warming you from the inside out; and he kisses you through your orgasms, deep and moaning.

Soaking in the afterglow, you smile between soft pecks to each others lips, cheeks and jaws.

As you come down from your highs, still inside you, Touya rests your sweaty foreheads together and grins cheekily. "Are you warm now, baby?" he asks teasingly.

You huff out a laugh, draping your arms over his shoulders in a semi hug and close your eyes, smiling contentedly. "Very."

And you are, warm in every way that counts.

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Thank you @isabeauwolf and everyone who got me to 250 reblogs!

This actually feels so very fitting to reach this on his birthday 🤭💙

Happy Birthday Touya!!! 🥳🎉💙

Song: 'Heart of Fire' by Black Veil Brides

I made this a while back, my first and only edit/fmv, and idk, I finally like it enough to share, so enjoy! I love Touya, and I love BVB, and this is HIS SONG!!!

LISTEN TO THE LYRICS!!!

Young Touya's plea to his father

(a poem)

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Shiny New Toy

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[NSFW] ‼ 18+ >MDNI<

Summary: You see Dabi and decide that you want a shiny new toy. As a treat.

Pairing: Dabi/F! Reader

Content Warning: Non-con/Dub-Con, Kidnapping, Dabi is the victim, Yandere/Stalker Reader, Smut, Lingerie, Praise Kink, Body Worship, Submissive Top Dabi, Power Bottom Reader, Noncon Bondage

Word Count: 2.8k

Disclaimer: Character belongs to Kohei Horikoshi

A/N: Idk man, I just wanna snatch him up & love him :(

My Masterlist

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The first time you see him, you're captivated.

Maybe it's his unique looks or maybe it's that bird quirk gene from somewhere in your family tree, comparing the swaths of dark purple scars and pretty, glittering staples to patterns and plumage.

But either way, the patterns of his scars along pale skin are a mosaic, the staples holding him together are pretty, shining in the glow of the azure flames that dance like life itself in his matching eyes beneath midnight hair, his smile wide and sharp and bright.

He's so very bright. Like the sun, like the stars, like life.

He's so very dangerous. Like a tiger, like a snake, like a dragon.

He's so very beautiful. Like fire, like the belladonna, like a supernova.

And you know, in that moment, that you have to have him.

*****

It's almost pathetically easy.

All you had to do was go to the bar he frequents, bat your eyes in his direction, and he's all over you.

And though that's nice and all, you know men are fickle creatures, and you know all he wants is someone to fuck for the night and never see again.

You can't have that now, could you?

No, of course not.

He's yours, he just doesn't know it yet.

Though, he will.

He will.

He will know it, and he will accept it, and if he doesn't yet, he'll learn.

He easily follows you back to your house, not caring all that much because really, what could you do to him?

Apparently, injecting him with a fast acting quirk supressant laced with tranquilizer as soon as he enters the door wasn't on his list.

The last thing Dabi sees as he passes out is your hauntingly sweet smile.

*****

After a bit of struggle, because you underestimated how much a tall, grown man would weigh, you finally have him tied to the big, comfy bed in his new room in your basement.

Hands tied on either side of his head to the headboard, his ankles secured just enough so he wont be able to kick, but loose enough to bend his knees, he lays stripped down to his boxers.

Gorgeous.

He looks rather peaceful asleep, face relaxed and hair splayed out like a dark halo on the soft pillow below him.

With your time almost up, you strip down to your underwear, the black lingerie you bought especially for him sits soft against your skin. The intricate lace delicate, the fabric perfectly molding to your body, sculpting your curves while enhancing your natural shape; the bit of sheerness to the bra showing your nipples.

You look delectable and you know it.

The soft rustle of the sheets and a quiet groan brings your attention back to the bed. Seeing Dabi waking up, you sit beside him on his right, legs crossed as you push the hair out of his face where it fell from his movement.

Pretty blue eyes blink open sluggishly at first before snapping open, immediately tugging at his restraints and pulling on his quirk, but all that does is rub at his wrists and make his skin pleasantly heated, like he simply has a bad fever. Molten blue glare at you as he snarls, "Where the fuck am I?!"

Dabi is confused. He's pretty sure you're not with the heroes, this wouldn't be how they restrained him, but he also doubts some other upstart villain group is stupid enough to even attempt to pull this shit, so he needs answers.

You smile sweetly at him, like one would a barking puppy, as you run a finger down his cheek, along his jaw to his chin, tilting his head up to hold him in place. "Your new home."

His expression shifts from angry confusion to amused confusion. Though he is still angry, he's curious to see how this plays out.

Humouring you, he asks, "And what the fuck makes you think I'm staying here?"

"Well, you don't exactly have a choice, hm?" You lean down, chest pressing against his, trailing your lips up his throat to his jaw, muttering into the scarred skin. "No quirk, tied up like a present just for me, and no one knows where you are? I get to have you all to myself." Your voice is a purr in his ear as you nose at his neck.

He schools his face into a mask of indifference, "And what do ya want with me, huh?" he asks condescendingly.

You pull back to look at him, amused, because even through the adorable facade of fearlessness, you can see the nervousness in the sweat beading at his brow, the shifting of his eyes, can hear it in his voice and the beat of his heart.

Humming, you gesture to yourself clad in lace. "Isn't it obvious, baby?" At his silent glare, you cup his cheek and coo, "I just want you, silly."

"Ah, of course, you're fuckin' insane." He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

You giggle, because, well, obviously.

You decided that the perfect one for you is one of the most wanted villains.

Obviously.

At his bewildered look, you just smile and slowly drag your hand from his cheek down his throat and chest, familiarizing yourself with the feel of his skin, as you purr, "Maybe. But I do want you.", before gripping his cock through his boxers, making him jerk. "All of you."

A pause.

"Oh?"

Your little darling is already getting excited.

How adorable.

A sly smile spreads across your face as you feel him hot and heavy in your palm, not fully hard yet but getting there.

Palming at his clothed cock, coaxing him to hardness, you coo, "Now what's got you this excited already, hm? Is it seeing me like this, or being tied up?" You can't help but tease him, and oh what a treat the result of that teasing is.

He grits his teeth, turning away in embarrassment, though it did nothing to hide the sweet blush on the healthy skin of his cheeks.

"Aww, don't be shy. I'll even help you with it. Aren't I generous?" You giggle, freeing his now fully hard dick from its confines.

He lets out a hiss as the cool air meets his hot flesh as you bite your lip and supress a shudder at the sight of him.

About seven inches long, deliciously thick and curved, hard and flushed a pretty pink...Yes, this would do nicely.

Truly the perfect choice.

"Sure, so fuckin' generous. Look, I don't fuck crazy. So—" He sneers, but you cut him off, running your thumb over the head and smirking lopsidedly at the way Dabi's hips jolt and the words catch in his throat.

"I'm crazy for wanting you? Don't be like that baby." You know damn well what he means but, well, it's fun to tease him.

"You're fuckin' crazy for tyin' me up in your basement, you psycho bitch!" He spits, glaring, as though he isn't thoroughly trapped and painfully hard; and though he tries to pretend he isn't, he can't hide it, his dick and eyes both betraying him.

You just hum dismissively before making a show of leaning down to press a kiss to his cockhead, before lolling your tongue out, letting your saliva drip down onto his erection, and spreading it; coating his shaft with it for an easier slide.

Dabi groans, bucking up into your touch as you squeeze gently, twisting your wrist.

"There you go," you coo, your tone equal parts fond and patronizing. "Isn't that better, sweet thing? No need to kick up a fuss..." Dabi snarls and tries to jerk his hips away, but you just giggle softly.

And then, like the psycho bitch you are, you pull out a fucking knife.

He freezes at the sight of the sharp blade, staying completely still as you slowly cut his boxers off, the knife only a few inches from his skin. He's careful not to struggle or even breathe until you're done.

Breathing a heavy sigh of relief when the knife is set aside along with the scraps of his underwear, he glares when you chuckle under your breath, before his breath hitches as you grip him again.

You stare directly into his eyes as you stroke his length, murmuring softly, "Such a pretty cock."

Dabi moans at the praise, eyes slipping shut, twitching in your grasp, before he chokes back his sounds, and stills his hips; nails digging into his palm as he clenches his fists, biting his lip to muffle his noises.

And that just won't do.

"No, no, baby, I wanna hear you." You breathe. "You're so pretty baby, you know that, don't you?"

His expression contorts, brows furrowing as his hips give an involuntary jerk; a pearl of precum beading at the tip of his cock and he barks out a harsh laugh.

"So you're crazy and blind. What, you gonna say I'm not scary either?" He says sarcastically, jaw clenching.

"Scary? Fuck, you're perfect, sweetheart..." you murmur, cupping his face in your left hand, thumb caressing his cheekbone.

He ignores you, wanting to light you up with his flames, see if you can still spout your bullshit while you're burning alive. You're just another psycho who doesn't know what you got yourself into.

You pout, "Look at me, baby, please? Let me see those pretty eyes, hm?", all while your hand languidly pumps him.

Dabi squirms under your touch, knowing he should want to escape from the pleasure, but rolls his hips up into your fist instead and complies, eyes slowly peeling open.

You should be terrified of him, with his looks and reputation, with the inherent danger that he is.

And yet, you're staring at him like he's the most beautiful thing you've ever set your sights on.

His eyes are glassy and hazy and gorgeous. You smile and can't help yourself, leaning in to press a kiss to his mismatched lips, muttering, "Good boy."

Dabi whimpers against you, and you swallow it, moaning into his mouth before pulling back and releasing your hold on him.

You can't take it anymore.

He lets out a bitten off whine, but you just kiss him again before you move to swing your legs over his hips, straddling him.

You slowly rock against his hot length, the texture of the patterned lace of your panties rubbing against him making him curse as his hips twitch up.

Leaning down, you whisper in his ear, voice a purr, "You're gonna be a good boy for me and let me make you feel good, aren't you? Make me feel good, hm? "

"Fuck, yes, just let me fuck you already." He pleads, almost whining and you sigh happily at how obedient he is for you.

Though his manners could use some work, it can wait for another day.

Sitting up, you pull your panties to the side, lining up the thick head of his dick to your hole, before sinking down, inch by delicious inch, deliberately, slowly impaling yourself on his fat cock.

You moan in delight as you feel the sweet, accommodating stretch of your tight cunt, the preparation you did earlier almost not enough as he fills you up; Dabi lets out a choked groan as your tight, wet heat wraps around him like a vice.

Closing your eyes, you take a moment to get used to it, to savour it, knowing you're already addicted; shivering and clenching down as you take deep breaths, listening to Dabi struggle to do the same. Bracing yourself with your hands on his shoulders, your wiggle your hips in an attempt to find the best angle.

"Fuck." Dabi bites out, breathless and strangled as you sigh happily, sliding a hand up and tugging the man's head back gently to kiss at his scarred neck.

"Mm, there we go, that's it..." you mumble against him, shifting up and down in experimental little bounces as your thumbs rub soothingly into the villain's shoulders when his breathing picks up.

You feel almost high off of the feeling of Dabi inside you, hard and deep and hot. The thought that one of the most powerful, dangerous and wanted villains in Japan, tied up and at your mercy; panting and achingly hard in bed on his back, because of you, sends a surge of smug pride through you, right alongside the burning arousal.

Your head lolls a bit as you search for the perfect angle and speed, breathing beginning to speed up. The sharp jolt of pleasure shooting up your spine tells you exactly when you find it, making you let out a shaky moan as you slam yourself back down to repeat the motion.

"Fuck, right—ahn—right there." You whine, blissed out.

Your pace, though a little fast, is deliberate and even, your expression content and your breathing unsteady at the heady sensation of Dabi's cock fucking into you, dragging against your insides and stretching you so perfectly.

"Shit, you—" whatever Dabi was about to say is cut off with a strangled hiss as he throws his head back with a moan.

You let out a noise between a pleased hum and a soft giggle, as you lean in to drag your tongue up the man's throat just to feel him shiver.

"Mm, you feel so good baby, so fucking good.", you mumble into his neck, before surging up to capture his lips in a searing kiss and Dabi doesn't even hesitate to return it. You moan happily into the kiss, pace faltering a bit as you get caught up in it.

You devour him eagerly, swirling your tongues together and exploring every inch of his mouth. He tastes like whiskey, smoke and something sweet, and you can't help but smile into the kiss and savour his flavour, knowing you're already addicted to that too.

Clenchimg around him, you roll your hips sinfully, swallowing the delicious whine Dabi lets out when you nip at his bottom lip, his hips jerking up as his hands twitch and clench where they're restrained.

Speeding up, panting, you whisper against his lips, "Look at you, you're so perfect, you're gorgeous ..."

"Shut up—" Dabi chokes out, almost whining, turning away, eyes clenched.

You just hum, giving him another, softer kiss. "I can't help it, you just look so—", you lift yourself up  before slamming right back down,"perfect."

Dabi jolts, squeezing his eyes shut. You bite your lip to supress a giggle at that, leaning back to prop yourself up with your hand on the bed behind you, giving you a better angle to roll your hips and grind Dabi's cock against your sweet spot; your free hand pressing two fingertips to your neglected clit, rubbing in quick circles, making you moan and pant.

You let your head fall back as your eyes slip shut involuntarily, before you force them back open to take in the vision that is Dabi beneath you.

A shiver runs through you at the look in Dabi's eyes, hot and hungry and sinful, glazed over with lust, and you can tell he's close, because he's fucking up into you seemingly unknowingly, mumbling a string of filth under his breath.

And you want nothing more in that moment than to see him come undone by you.

You note every twitch he gives against and inside you, every little sound and shudder.

"Dabi, Dabi, Dabi," you chant, speeding up your hips and fingers; your body alight with the pleasure of not only the feel of him, but the sight of him. "Show me, show me, baby, wanna see it, wanna see you cum for me—" your voice is shaky with your lust, eyes lidded and trained on him.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, I—" he manages, his words shaky and uneven, voice husky and cracking, thrusts sloppy and deep.

"Yes—ahn— fuck yes, baby, fill me up." You whine, clenching around him, coaxing him to flood your insides.

Dabi cums with a full body shudder, writhing beneath you, his hands clenched in a tight fist as he pulls against his restraints, groaning, almost sobbing, eyes squeezed shut, as he fills you up with his hot cum; and you continue to ride him, even as your own orgasm washes over you, mind whiting out in ecstasy, clamping down on him, milking him, until he begins to gasp and shudder in overstimulation.

Finally, you slow to a stop, letting you both catch your breaths.

You can't help but smile at how beautifully debaunched he looks under you, and you cup his cheek. Your smile widens when he automatically leans into your touch, nuzzling into the your palm.

Dabi is....conflicted. On one hand, he knows you're batshit insane. On the other, you want him, you feel good, and if he's being honest with himself, you're fucking hot.

He looks up at you, seeing the pure adoration on your face and he.....doesn't feel like burning and killing you anymore....

Maybe if he did, he would've been able to actually escape you.

Maybe.

But he didn't, so now...well...

He's all yours.

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rip dabi you would've loved Kendrick lamar

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

Oh wow it somehow got worse! I'm gonna go sob into my pillow now thx ✌🏾🥹

Here are some bnha ending implications about the League of Villains that drive me crazy:

We don't know if Touya thought Spinner and Mr. Compress were dead too.

Tomura never knew Twice was dead.

Touya and Tomura never knew that Toga tried to shapeshift into them and cried 'cause she couldn't :(

Mr. Compress last saw the LOV while he was trying to save them / help them reach a safe place. Next thing he was told is that most of them were dead.

Even if Touya was still alive long enough for Spinner to publish his book/comic, I doubt someone read it to Touya.

Since Toga showed up as Twice in the final battle, we don't know if Giran was aware of Twice being dead previous to that occasion or if he thinks Twice died at war there.

Although Kurogiri said that Tomura's friends were waiting for him, Tomura never saw his friends again.

They don't even know Tomura considered them his friends.

They don't know that part of the reason why Tomura died is because between the offer to change and forget his friend or stay behind and keep their memories, Tomura refused to be anything else but the villain's hero.

Most of them didn't get to hear Compress revealing his identity.

Toga "died" happily to save a friend, just like Twice did for her.

The last time most of the LOV saw Tomura, he wasn't himself / was possessed by AFO.

While the LOV's job was to sacrifice their lives for Tomura, it ended up being the other way around. Tomura died in their names and they got to die however they wanted.

Touya doesn't know Toga kept his words in her heart and got to smile again <3

All of them were doomed by the narrative.

The League of Villains has by far some of the most painful or torturous deaths in the whole series.

The villains have far better healing technology 'cause they somehow managed to save Dabi from being almost completely burnt, while he was doomed to die after the bnha finale.

Being part of the LOV was the highlight of most of its members lives.

Tomura probably doesn't know how much Kurogiri saw him as his own son.

Kurogiri probably doesn't know how much Tomura loved him, despite hiding it.

Spinner was probably never told Tomura's real story, so his version of the story will be forever incomplete. Even when he's Tomura's canon best friend.

Tomura saw his family die in front of him as a kid, but he died far away from all his friends.

Touya probably thought he was the last one of them to die.

Despite being called weak all his life, Spinner has to carry the burden of being the one and only last survival of the LOV.