i’m looking at his natal chart. even though we aren’t together anymore, i can’t help myself. i’m still struggling to make sense of everything that has happened, but i’m slowly accepting distance as the reality. there’s just something about him.
we both have five planets in retrograde. his are the outers. i have venus, no saturn, plus chiron or something. i’ve always liked the fact i have a lot of retrograde planets, and most people don’t have more than one or two. our charts really are like a mirror.
i found the source for his violence and emotional power games. it’s his mars conjunct saturn, both in twelfth house. i admire him for that. since my sun is there, i’m no judge of the chaos the 12th house brings. i seem to live in it and enjoy it. our relationship was quite twelfth house after all.
but supposedly mars & saturn connections can bring a penchant for harshness and cruelty. quite frankly, that kinda turns me on. i do have a bunch of squares to my moon & pluto after all. i thought the arguments we had were fun. i have a gemini stellium and he has a gemini moon. it wasn’t fun and games for him though unfortunately.
i remember when i saw his qi energy one day in his back yard. qi energy is something i see on people sometimes, like their spirit energy. for him, it was a quick glimpse like the right side of his face was rotting. his eyeball was missing and it was like creepy. it was quite scary come to think of it, but somehow it transferred a light to me. and i don’t recall feeling too scared by it.
but after that, i began seeing a light in other peoples eyes occasionally. it was like a “hey, i’m here for you. i’m not judging you” kind of light. i think me seeing his qi energy gave me that light, to help me move forward when i get so depressed. and as i would come to find out, the 8th house is the house of “rot”. and he was my eighth house sun.
Bonjour everybody,.
I've gotten a recent fascination, maybe even obsession, with Ethel Cain. She is probably the first musician that I've really felt like /gets me/. Like her songs, her lyrics, her vibes. Like it truly speaks to my soul. I actually discovered her from a youtube video suggested to me from the algorithm, but it wasn't even one of her songs. It was just a video of her talking about divinity and music and stuff and I just listened to it one afternoon and picked up strange, familiar resonances. Soon I'd listen to her music and fall in love with her. I feel like she gets it. She gets where I come from, growing up working class in the South.
I got the idea to do an analysis of her natal chart. I've been studying astrology for almost ten years now, so I'm just gonna spitball my observances for y'alls entertainment and consideration.
Alors, c'est parti.
Ok, so immediate impressions, we should start with her sun moon and rising, which are Aries Sun 5th house, Aquarius Moon 3rd house, with a scorpio rising. A 5th house sun makes sense to me, as well as all the other planetary energy here. The 5th house is the house of creative expression, leisure, children, recreation, and just like how one expresses their own ego and swagger through art or whatever. Think Leo. The fact she's a famous musician would make sense. She's expressing herself through her music. I think the Aries energy here probably made it come rather naturally to her. Fire signs just are themselves unapologetically in a way that I, a water/earth sign, admire. The Scorpio ascendant also makes sense to me. Y'all Ethel fans know a b**** scary. She's my little scorpio slytherin princess tbh. We love her for that. That's so scorpio. Intense, but refreshing. Another thing that sticks out to me is the North Node in Virgo 10th House. The north node is your life's destiny point, and the tenth house is the house of one's career, public image, and public life. It's like she was destined to be a public figure. Another part that sticks out to me is the fact that it is in Virgo. We all know a heavy theme in Ethel's music is growing up with a rigid, conservative religion. I feel like Virgo is a rather rigid, stiff sign. I have my moon in that sign so I would know ;) Having energy in the sixth house, or the house of virgo, also supports this. To speak on her moon, I don't have too many impressions other than maybe her moon being in the third house, the house of communication, would explain why she is so well spoken. She seems to articulate and express herself very well. Moon being in the sign of aquarius, which is a very far reaching sign, cast a wide net etc etc, would explain why she rose to fame so quickly with the Internet. The internet is a very aquarius thing.
Here are some clippits I got from the internet. I hope y'all enjoyed reading my interpretation. If you're reading this Ethel, I love u <3 and it's my dream you use one of my poems for a song one day. Feel free to check me out on instagram, @kedwardcook
XOXO
Paris
safari disco club
Anaïs Nin, Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1939-1947
Ku ren he
酷栠盒
他的爱心被很大
从来没想,
你现在会不这里
怎么做呢
如果没有你
我还吸烟,所以
记得你的记忆
我不会忘我们的生活
我心疼
酷栠峆