Muahahahahah - Muah-Ha-Ha

From what I’ve read and observed, bipolar symptoms exist on a spectrum. Using these charts inspired by @levianta’s graphics about autism, you can visualize the extremity of every symptom you experience. As an example, here is a chart visualizing how i personally experience hypomania:

The biggest misunderstood thing about BPD

We can feel suicidal/have suicidal ideation and be normal the next day. It’s the nature of the disorder. I’m not being manipulative - I really do feel these feelings.

me: “I have social anxiety”

what people hear: “I am a bit shy”

what the internet reads: “OwO cute shy boi,,must protecc!! hehe so quirky!1!!”

what social anxiety really is: taking months of knowing someone to feel comfortable enough to have a real conversation, your mind going blank during small talk, inability to participate in groups of more than three people, mentally rehearsing “simple” tasks such as ordering food or making a phone call and your heart racing anyway, constantly feeling watched, being afraid of getting places too early or too late, fear of being judged over the most random things (”is this a socially acceptable ice cream flavor to buy?” “what if they think my shampoo is weird” “will they hate me if I get up to throw my trash away?” “what if I emptied the dishwasher wrong!”), having panic attacks when you have to ask a teacher for help, constantly feeling left out or excluded even with friends, your hands shaking when you get called on in class, being overwhelmed in crowds and public transportation, disliking being touched, perpetual fear of disappointing those in authority, overall difficulty forming relationships, missing out on milestones or social events because you either have no friends to go with or know it will be overwhelming, preferring to be in groups of three so that conversation isn’t solely up to you, making so many everyday tasks so much more difficult than they need to be due to a crushing fear of being judged by random strangers you will literally never see again and needing to be seen as flawless

I should have killed myself~

In defense of pre-natal screening

I’ve seen a lot of protests against screening fetuses for things like Down syndrome, autism and so on. Here, I’ll explain why I, an autistic person, disagree fundamentally with those.

(PLEASE NOTE: My reasoning is based on the idea that abortions in and of themselves are morally fine and that a fetus is not a person.)

“In a few years, there won’t be any people with Down Syndrome born anymore, because these days everybody chooses to abort them!” Ridiculously unlikely. There’s always going to be somebody who doesn’t have an abortion. True, there won’t be exactly as many born as there are now, but who’s to say that the current number is inherently better? How, exactly, do you calculate that?

“Well, what if everybody with Down syndrome fetuses gets an abortion, though? Just what if?” I say this with a maximum of respect: While obviously Down syndrome people have the same value as humans that everybody else has, it’s still true that Down syndrome causes a huge risk of poor eyesight, poor hearing Alzheimer’s disease, cancer and an early death. If a condition kills people then we do not need to actively try to preserve it.

“This indicates that people with Down syndrome or autism or whatever are undesirable!” No, it doesn’t. For many reasons.

Simply telling a woman that her fetus has, say, autism is not the same as saying it’s an undesirable fetus.

That a woman aborts an autistic fetus doesn’t mean that she wants everybody to do the same. It just means that she wants to have an abortion. As is her damn right.

All abortions are based on the idea that the potential child is undesirable. That’s why women choose to get abortions instead of having the kid.

The fact that people want to abort Down syndrome fetuses and autistic fetuses and so on might make them seem undesirable, but not whether the abortions are allowed to happen or not.

“If your mom had felt like this, she would have aborted you!” Once again: That’s the case with all abortions, regardless of reason. So unless you find all abortions immoral, this is not a valid argument.

“This is eugenics!” No, it’s not. It’s not a concentrated effort to eradicate black people–or any other people. It’s just letting women make an informed choice about their own bodies that affects nobody else. Lemme use a simile to explain: If a political magazine gets forcibly shut down because it criticizes the government, that’s censorship. If it gets shut down because nobody is interested in buying it, though, then that’s not censorship at all.

“This is offensive to many people!” A woman’s right to choose is her right. Regardless of whether you find it offensive or not.

“It’s discrimination!” If a woman who got raped has an abortion, does that mean she’s discriminating against actual people who were born from rape? No. And this is the same. Actual people cannot be discriminated against by an abortion because we’re not affected the slightest bit.

“Well, what if a woman wanted to abort a black fetus because she hated black people?” Then we still can’t force her to have the child. A fetus doesn’t become a person just because of the reason that a woman aborts it.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t think women should be stopped from making choices about their bodies.” But you do clearly want to stop them from making informed ones. After all, you want to withhold information about a woman’s body from her, so that she won’t make the choice she prefers with, but instead do what you’ve decided she should.

TO FINISH OFF: Since we have info about a woman’s fetus–or at least the ability to easily get it–denying it to her is blatantly anti-woman. It’s saying “We’ve decided you don’t get to know things about your body, because then you’ll do as you want instead of doing what we’ve decided that you should.”

When👏can👏I👏die?

Witches’ Sabbath / The Great He-Goat, 1823, Francisco Goya

Medium: oil,canvas

true.