Want Like At Least 15 Mins To Hide And Cry, I Dont It Like Today

okay okay okay

everything will be alright

everything will be alright

everything will be alright

when bts said "i dont have a dream, dreaming is sometimes scary, to live like this, to survive like this, is a small dream to me" in paradise

Feeling so sick of myself and everyone around me these days, I can't wait for this stupid fucking exam to end so I can get lost in the void. And thank God almost everyone's going home after the exam. I hope they don't give much work so I can just have Sunday for myself. I really want it. I want to just exist. I want to cry, I want to sleep, I want to just be.

there’s a special kind of grief you feel towards yourself when you’ve been mentally ill for as long as you remember. you see ppl saying they long to return to their old self but you don’t have an old self, or if there was, you can’t remember it. ur “old self” was a child. this self is all you’ve ever known. then there’s the fear that comes with trying to find out who you are without your mental illnesses, it’s all new to you and you don’t know if you’ll like who you’ll be

you are not here to prove. you are here to take, then run away. don't care. never mind. never fucking mind. just take and go. just go forward. stop thinking for fucks sake. stop arguing. there's no point. this not the place to fight for, you have other places that you have to, but not here. be a fake ass you dumb fuck

please don't speak or be friendly with anyone. please don't let yourself loose again. please just focus on yourself. please don't think anyone's your family. please don't play the savior, when you yourself can't get out of your own hell. please be selfish. please please be selfish. i beg you. please just focus on yourself. don't for any chance speak about yourself, don't give yourself to anyone here anymore. enough. just a year. we'll get out of here. we can. we'll do it. everything will be okay.

not sure if there's anything as getting better in my book

I wish I could have told you I missed you too but I didn't wanna lose my dignity more than I did with you

There's something in me, that I don't know how to word or well I don't even know what it is. But it's swallowing the whole of me

I'm scared i won't be me after this. I'm scared I'll lose myself. my sanity is hanging by a thread for real