Tips For Writing Those Gala Scenes, From Someone Who Goes To Them Occasionally:

oki i just had a funny airplane headcanon

what if airplane's original body looks like, practically identical to luo binghe's pretty boy phase? like an absolute beauty, but not exactly the most masculine looking

and airplane, who's ideal body type is muscular and tall and masculine and shit, always wanted to somehow achieve that

so yeah, he wrote mobei jun to be his ideal man. the type of body and personality he wished he had. but he wrote luo binghe to be like "what if i went to super hell and came out of it swol as fuck? what if i just had a training arc and then i was sexy and muscular and strong and cool?"

so luo binghe is just, pure wish fulfillment body-type wise

but it just makes for a really funny and uncomfortable situation when/if someone figures out what airplane's og body looked like LMFAO

like, bear with me, but consider like... some sort of wife-plot bullshit that "reveals your true form" or someshit, and no one knows quite what to expect when that beam hits shang qinghua, because "what's it gonna reveal? a hamster? lmfao" but then instead of that, it's a twinky version of luo binghe and everyone is THOROUGHLY confused

shen yuan obvs would catch on first and probably break a fan at the realization lmfao (especially bc now, due to his fondness for this appearance, he's forced to think of fucking airplane as hot. BUT ALSO, THAT FUCKING HACK OF AN AUTHOR WITH HIS FUCKING SELF INSERTING BULLSHIT)

luo binghe having a "what the fuck do i have OTHER long lost relatives?!?!" reaction

mobei jun like "hm... yeah i'd still tap that" bc his only real consideration is whether this change in appearance would change their bed arrangements lmfao

airplane out here like "oh. wow. i'm Fucked" bc he has no explanation for this shit

Luo Binghe doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

how much more terrible(irresistible) would shizun be as a woman

lesbingqiu or whatever floats your boat I need fem Shizun like I need air

You're so real for this.. shen yuan would drive women absolutely insane because you know how oblivious shizun is... now imagine that amped up to a hundred because women are more friendly with each other

Instead of saying a bunch of gay shit in his head and then acting aloof, fem Yuan would be going "your hair is so beautiful, what products do you use?" while she runs her fingers through Liu qingge's hair (Liu qingge uses 3 in 1 and is breezing on good genes. Disgusting.)

She'd be so much more touchy. She'd straddle Binghe’s lap to do her makeup. She'd have sleep overs with Shang qinghua and share the bed. She'd say she's so jealous of Liu qingge's muscles as she feels them up. Dear God, her comp het would be strong enough to take down nations.

There's a lesbingqiu wip I have on the back burner where shen yuan and binghe go shopping together and shen yuan is like "Don't be silly, we're both girls!" And pulls binghe into the changing room with her. Binghe's hand sweating and shaking as shen yuan lifts her hair up and looks over her shoulder back at binghe behind her and says "help me unzip my dress?" Binghe pulling the zipper down slowly, revealing shen yuan's bare back inch by inch. Binghes almost unzipped the dress the entire way before she realizes she hasn't seen yuan-jie's bra band yet because she's not wearing a bra. Shen Yuan kicking off her dress with her back to binghe wearing nothing but lacy panties and she still. doesn't. notice binghe half dying over this.

Anyway heres one last scene from the lesbingqiu fic to really drive home how insane fem shen yuan would be as a woman:

She gone girled irl

To suffer is to progress

I know that this is normal but why have we normalized pain? Why has evolution made pain in such a useless way? If we will not remember the pain in our youth, why must we suffer through it?

I wish to stay by your side forever to comfort you, but I must run away because your screams of agony are simply too much for me to bear.

I fashioned a ring of stars, but when I placed it upon you, it was a crown. Now, you have grown up, and it is once more a ring again.

For now, you are smaller than the rest of your kind, but you will grow to be happy and healthy and safe. I will guarantee it.

These lines will not reach you, nor will you ever find out about them, but here I stand, saying them anyway. One day I may look upon this, and laugh at my silly, foolish self for even thinking to say these words, but for now, I gaze at these letters with fondness.

Me: *reads SQQ gets PR makeup kits*

Me: …

Me: wait until he starts doing his hair

Also me: ‘tis obviously witchcraft, that or the witch can shapeshift.

Liu Qingge barges into Shen Qingqiu's bamboo house to challenge him to a fight as per usual except he runs into Shen Qingqiu wearing a fluffy bathrobe with rabbit hear head up holding his hair back, his forehead covered in some sort of neon green... mud?? Two crescent moon shaped bandages(?) under his eyes, a black strip over the nose, and unnaturally red puffy lips-

Liu Qingge: MU QINGFANG, SHEN QINGQIU IS HAVING A DEVIATION AND IS DOING WEIRD THINGSSSSSSS

Shen Qingqiu using his mud mask, undereye peels, blackhead nose strip, and lip plumper gloss in a mini spa day session: ...

Apparently there’s a website called Public Square where conservatives register their businesses to identify themselves as “anti-woke” so other conservatives can find them. I just thought I would share in case anyone wanted to put their zip code in and learn which local businesses to avoid.

So pretty so fucking beautiful

I've decided to ignore their fate and focus on the good times instead <3

Me when I click on a fic rec and realize that the fic was already marked for later

THE LATER IS NOW LIFE CAN FUCKING WAIT

Help I just need somewhere to put my fanstay au thing that was inspired by a dream if I type it out on a doc I’ll try to actually make it look good

Cass run from the guards you stole something and ur funny

Oh no you slipped down a Sid spath root thingie tree right in front of a shop

Oh no the guards a catching up

Cass run inside the store now there’s a hot person also more valuable things that are actually kinda trash

I keep dreaming of 1942 French guns what does this mean for me

Cass it’s actually a bookstore with a bunch of random shit in the corner. Steal it. Oh fuck you got attached and you kicked the owners out. Oh you let them back in but it’s your place now. Cass I doubt your ethics more and more I swear you were NOT this fucked up when I dreamt you

Turns out the bookstore had something to do with a nature reserve and ppl are trying to fuck that up. Beat their ass nature needs your arsonistic ways

Oh the hot Demi girl wants to do gender fuckery with you. That’s hot. hi Sandra yeah sure I’ll participate in gender fuckery with you *finger guns*