Where's That "was Anyone Gonna Tell Me" Meme When You Need It Because Holy Shit Did The Bird App Just

Fatigue Pad Thai

Catastrophize Benedictine

Random mansion generator

The Procgen Mansion Generator produces large three-dee dwellings to toy with your imagination, offering various architectural styles and other options. Each mansion even comes with floorplans:

https://boingboing.net/2019/07/12/random-mansion-generator.html

it’s been nearly 2 thousand years since Percy Jackson has died. poseidon has not been seen much after his favorite sons death.

it’s raining and a new camper is being chased by a monster. they get to thalias tree and rip off one of its branches. the child uses it to kill the monster, just before passing out. their father got kidnapped by a god that needs their help. poseidon does not like this parallel

the first person they talk to is chiron, trainer of heroes.

“so what’re saying is that im the child of a god?”

“yes young man, that is correct.” chiron responded while giving the tour to the boy.

“so then it’s my mother that a goddess, correct? do you know who?” he asked as he turned to face the centaur.

“im sorry, but i do not know who your mother is. she could be a minor sea god…” chiron said as he subtly looked towards cabin 3, the poseidon cabin. the cabin that hasn’t been touched in 2 thousand years.

“oh.. well why do you think it’s a sea god? is it because i like water? is it because i kicked the monsters ass while it was pouring??” the boy said as he mimicked punching movements.

“yes, that is why i think that…” chiron said as he continued moving.

the centaur and the boy continued on the tour for a few more minutes before chiron suddenly said, “you remind me of someone.”

this caught the boys attention and he turned to five chiron, “hmm? who do i remind you of?? were they a child of a sea god??” the kid was jumping on their toes and gasped at something they had thought of, “did they come to camp the same way i did???”

chiron turned to look away from the boy, he had dark brown hair, with one sea green eye and on sea blue eye. he had never tried so hard not to cry in his life, he hated how much this 12 year old reminded him of him. he knew if he said this out loud poseidon would not be happy, so he said it wasn’t too important but that, ‘yes you two did come here the same way’ and finished the tour.

—————————a few hours later —————————

“dionysus, they’re so similar it hurts.” chiron said as he sat down across from the god. dionysus no longer worked at the camp, but he had grown fond of it and decided to pop it to help and chat every now and then.

“yea, i know. and if they are a child of a sea god- any sea god, im not too excited to see what barnacle beard would say about that.” the god said as he took a sip of alcohol, “anywho- do you know what the kids name is? cuz i know i sure don’t.”

chiron turned his attention from the ground next to him to the god in front of him, “im sure i had asked his name, but i don’t think i was listening. can’t seem to remember it.”

the two sat in comfortable silencing for a few seconds before they hear the new camper yell, “I GOT CLAIMED!”

chiron and dionysus went out to see who the boys mother was and say a holographic owl above his head, athena, goddess of wisdom and strategic war.

“ah, good’ol war goddess, guess he’s not a sea spawn.” dionysus commented to the right of chiron as the centaur moved forward.

“hello young man, i have a short question for you,” chiron said, then proceeded when they boy said he could ‘ask away’, “what is your name again? many years working here makes it hard to keep track of all the names.

“fair enough for not remembering, i also have memory issues!” chiron laughed at that, “anyways my name is Percy Jackson!”

au with disciple shen yuan and shizun luo binghe is a classic but i need it with luo binghe going through the worst depressive episode known to man when shen yuan transmigrates. he sees this intimidating otherworldly figure he's read about and realizes that his shizun is just a complete mess who's been isolating himself and getting more and more irritable and miserable and depressed. he decides to make it his goal to try and coax him out of the bamboo house because no one ever really sees luo binghe anymore outside of when he travels for peak lord meetings.

in my head everything else is the same except for shen yuan and luo binghe switching roles entirely. shen yuan is a half-demon antagonist meant to be defeated by luo binghe after being pushed down the abyss and returning to get revenge but shen yuan just tells himself over and over that if he gets on luo binghe's good side surely everything will be okay? because the system won't let him leave cang qiong mountain and wander the world as a rogue cultivator and he knows that the immortal alliance conference if where everything is going to fall apart. so he's convinced himself that he just needs to game the plot by fixing shen qingqiu's reputation and his relationship and things will be fine. surely!!

and, like, it gets off to a rocky start. luo binghe throws him out of the bamboo house for about two weeks straight before finally snapping at him and asking what his deal is, to which shen yuan lets him know that the other disciples just haven't seen him in so long and they've all been worried and shen yuan just wants to make sure he's okay. and shen yuan knows he's playing the scum villain disciple but he isn't aware of the fact that this sounds so out of character coming from shen qingqiu that it snaps luo binghe out of this dissociative state he's been in for the past few months.

all of a sudden shen yuan's a sort of pet project for luo binghe. his shizun keeps inviting him into the bamboo house and probing him for seemingly benign answers to random questions, getting to know him, etc. and shen yuan thinks that wow his plan is working so well all the other disciples are saying this is the most they've seen him in the past few years. showing up to classes and everything! (of course, they're only shen yuan's classes)

eventually the investigation on luo binghe's part calms down and he hasn't figured out the truth of the matter but shen qingqiu is, all of a sudden, so much more interesting and alluring than he was when he first dragged himself up to qing jing peak a few years ago!

and what starts as a morbid obsession with a puzzle piece that seems out of place slowly moulds into like. genuine fondness on luo binghe's part. because even after the appropriate amount of time where shen yuan could go back to his regular routine and forget about needling luo binghe without seeming rude, he sticks with him anyway! always pulling him away from paperwork after hours to remind him to eat, offering to brush his hair, painting him fan's and landscapes under the guise of practice for class.

(of course, shen yuan's just! fanboying a tad! luo binghe was probably his favourite protagonist he's ever read about, only downside being the unfortunate novel he happened to be written into with the world's most unnecessary harem)

but yes. luo binghe goes through the five stages of grief before becoming inexplicably obsessed with his cute disciple and shen yuan is more than happy to dote on his favourite protagonist under the guise of getting on his good side.

there are still bumps in the road. luo binghe is stubborn and unwilling to look past the somewhat simple view of the world he's constructed in his head of demons being evil. he knows cultivators aren't all angels but the former is common sense, obviously. and he has a temper that flares in a way that makes shen yuan's body flinch in a well-practiced way. shen yuan has his bouts of intense anxiety and depression and brief near-psychosis at remembering the fact that he will have to lose all this if his crackpot half-plan doesn't work. and even if it does he'll still have to go down the abyss and he's just not ready for it, he doesn't think he'll ever be ready, not when his shizun won't be there with his kind eyes and steady form of comfort and command keeping him safe and anchored to the world. but the world keeps turning and so they both keep going until the day comes.

it's a shitshow. shen yuan's seal gets removed and luo binghe watches the demonic energy pour out of him, so numb it feels like he's been stuck in a winter snowstorm for an hour. shen yuan is pleading, desperate, forgetting half the words he tried scripting years in advance because he's at the edge of a cliff to hell and the one person he hoped would believe in him enough not to push him down there is staring at him like he's a stranger. and disciples are still screaming in the distance and the earth is quaking and the system is screaming at him while shen yuan's resolve crumbles and he starts to come to the conclusion that luo binghe will kill him here. he will. and luo binghe is just trying to breathe while he watches his kind and clever, mischievous disciple break down into tears in a way he has never seen before in his life. it sends icicles through his heart. and shen yuan is pleading but when luo binghe comes forward, sword in hand, he can't stop himself from grabbing the blade with his bare palms out of some sort of desperation. hoping and praying that just holding onto the metal means luo binghe won't try to cut his head off.

and it doesn't even matter in the end because luo binghe barely gets a word out before the ground crumbles beneath shen yuan's feet and luo binghe flinches forward, reaching out for him only to push him backwards into the gorge because of the sword that still solidly held by shen yuan, slicing through his skin.

and shen yuan falls. and luo binghe watches. and when liu qingge and yue qingyuan find him after the dust has settled, he looks too much like he did all those years ago, eyes blank and his prized disciple's spirit sword held in his hands, limp. alone again, after a taste of a life that could have been brighter.

title: nonviolent communication

tags: post-canon and post-airplane extras, fluff and humor, humor, or attempt thereof, established relationship

rating / word count: Gen / 842 words

relationships | characters: moshang | mbj, sqh

summary: shang qinghua asks a question that’s been plaguing him. mobei jun is all too happy to answer — even if he thinks the question is a stupid one.

“Why do you even like me?” Shang Qinghua asks in the wake of Mobei Jun’s confession. “Why must Qinghua pose such a stupid question?” Mobei Jun answers, tone light and affectionate despite his words. “I don’t just like you. I told you, I love you.” “Yeah, I don’t get that either.” “What is there to be confused about?” He takes Shang Qinghua’s face gently into his hands and lays featherlight kisses all over. “Besides, what is not to love?”

note: this is a direct sequel to ‘say what you mean, mean what you say’ a few days give or take after the confession scene at the end part of the final chapter, but this can be read as a stand-alone.

Shen Jiu was forced to play accomplish to a number of Wu Yanzi’s scams, playing lookout or distraction and occasionally the retrieval of the treasure as well. But the weirdest and most embarrassing one he had to do was that time he had to take the place of some woman getting married into a noble family. He wasn’t sure how Wu Yanzi learned the route of the bridal procession nor how exactly the switcharoo was pulled off with no one the wiser - the poor bride to be was dumped in the middle of the forest unconscious since even Wu Yanzi didn’t want to take the risk of having her rich family gunning after him for murder - but he was forced into her red wedding gown and veil, did the three bows with the groom, and was promptly sent to the bridal chambers while the groom went off for the feast. In that time of being unattended, Shen Jiu snapped up all the treasures that Wu Yanzi instructed and anything that looked expensive - which was near everything encrusted with gems and made of gold - and ran out of the manor before the groom came back to lift the veil. Wu Yanzi was pleased and needless to say, Shen Jiu tried to forget about that terrible memory immediately.

So imagine his shock and horror when one day, a noble lord comes to Cang Qiong asking for his runaway wife to please return home and not stay anger at him anymore and the man is staring directly at him, the Qing Jing peak lord, making it clear for all just who he’s referring to.

Yeah you're absolutely right, it WOULD be pretty fucked up if a scorpion was literally so held back by its own nature that it would kill both a frog and itself on a whim. It would be insane to think that a being would have destructive habits that are highly harmful so deeply ingrained in its core identity that it would default to that at even the most delicate situation, especially since said habit is actually usually a defense response to danger. But the danger in that situation was the river, and the frog was helping the scorpion overcome it, but said self defense response was something the scorpion leaned into so much that it fired off the handle on someone trying to help it, dooming an innocent frog and making the river kill the scorpion in a self fulfilling prophecy. The scorpion essentially killed itself, it caused its own problems by having a nature that's harmful by design, it could have let the frog pass through and survived, it could've just avoided crossing the river altogether. But the scorpion didn't do anything wrong, inherently it too was a victim of its actions as much as the frog, their nature wasn't a defense but its own doom, and it did not regret it at all, it knew it would happen all along. It is in its nature, after all

Man, what a weird and fantastical story, I'm so glad that there are NO real life equivalents to this WHATSOEVER

We are going to bake a rainbow cake!

I know that this is normal but why have we normalized pain? Why has evolution made pain in such a useless way? If we will not remember the pain in our youth, why must we suffer through it?

I wish to stay by your side forever to comfort you, but I must run away because your screams of agony are simply too much for me to bear.

I fashioned a ring of stars, but when I placed it upon you, it was a crown. Now, you have grown up, and it is once more a ring again.

For now, you are smaller than the rest of your kind, but you will grow to be happy and healthy and safe. I will guarantee it.

These lines will not reach you, nor will you ever find out about them, but here I stand, saying them anyway. One day I may look upon this, and laugh at my silly, foolish self for even thinking to say these words, but for now, I gaze at these letters with fondness.

a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted

their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"

"Every writer"?

come on