Becoming An Adult Cheat Sheet!

I just was reading through some tags of this story on ao3 and then there are these two tags, and one is right below the line that the original tag continued, but I didn’t realize that, so I read it as:

Implied Sexual Cancer Baby

The second tag was actually luo binghe is a cancer baby

The fic is The Third Heart by EvanMin for the svsss fandom

Thank you for providing me with this halarity

Me: *reads SQQ gets PR makeup kits*

Me: …

Me: wait until he starts doing his hair

Also me: ‘tis obviously witchcraft, that or the witch can shapeshift.

Liu Qingge barges into Shen Qingqiu's bamboo house to challenge him to a fight as per usual except he runs into Shen Qingqiu wearing a fluffy bathrobe with rabbit hear head up holding his hair back, his forehead covered in some sort of neon green... mud?? Two crescent moon shaped bandages(?) under his eyes, a black strip over the nose, and unnaturally red puffy lips-

Liu Qingge: MU QINGFANG, SHEN QINGQIU IS HAVING A DEVIATION AND IS DOING WEIRD THINGSSSSSSS

Shen Qingqiu using his mud mask, undereye peels, blackhead nose strip, and lip plumper gloss in a mini spa day session: ...

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian knows: his next job is going to be a pain in the ass, he needs to figure out what (if anything) he's going to do for his twenty-two birthday, he has a video call with his sister tonight to discuss the mural he's going to paint in Jin Ling's nursery, and that the little bunny he just picked up from a dingy alley is definitely not a normal animal. No animal has bright golden eyes and a pissed off expression quite like this one. Will he still take it home? Of course.

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian maybe knows: half a dozen purification potions and some talismans for repelling nightmares will likely do, he wants his siblings to be there, his nephew definitely won't get a peacock, he can't just upload a picture of the bunny to the MagiNet and hope that no one comes knocking with the intention of sacrificing the little guy—yeah, he checked—in some strange ritual. So he tells Jiang Yanli and trusts her to spread the word to sensitive people. Meanwhile, he makes sure the bunny is warm, full and rested, and only threatens to eat him a few times. Who can blame him! It's so fluffy, it triggers his cute agression. Also, it could easily be made of cotton candy. No one can really know with magical animals.

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian definitely doesn't know: his job is about to be interrupted by a strange ass man accusing him of stealing his familiar, that is going to be interrupted by his brother calling him because guess what! His nephew is being born, and the little bunny that has been sleeping in his bed and hearing every thought that crosses his head and following him into the shower is actually a shape shifter. And not even any shape shifter: Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian's old high school crush that turned him down so many times his story still gets told in the School of Magic for Young Practitioners. One Hundred and Thirteen Rejections Wei Wuxian, that's him.

Right up until Lan Zhan accompanies him to the hospital along a magically stunned Su She, who apparently had drugged him to make him stay in his animal form and try to force a familiar bond—which, yes, it's as heinous and illegal as it sounds. Dude is so going to jail. But whatever. The important part: why is Lan Zhan by his side while Wei Wuxian is holding Jin Ling for the first time? And why is he going home with him after? And why is he... confessing... his love for Wei Wuxian... and saying he wants to be his familiar...?

Oh. Oh.

And so they magically bound their souls for eternity. And Su She gets his wand broken as well as his hand by Lan Xichen!

Reblogs > Likes | It truly does make a difference for us

Yolo

reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube

Apparently there’s a website called Public Square where conservatives register their businesses to identify themselves as “anti-woke” so other conservatives can find them. I just thought I would share in case anyone wanted to put their zip code in and learn which local businesses to avoid.

Reblog this if you want a slightly ominous compliment in your inbox

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it’s just… Social media. That’s it. Social media and news sites. And I’m tired of social media and I’m tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?