Some Sketches On This Mini Sketchbook I Think I'm Having An Artblock Fml

Shitposting because I don’t have a life

Ok it is december 1st.

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐊/𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 - 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝

warnings: laced drugs, sex pollen, anal sex, hand job(s), overstimulation

nsfw under the cut :)

Kirk wiped his irritated nose—Lars gotten him some coke, and from the way his body was heating up further with each line he did, it was getting more and more clear it had been laced with something extra. He made a mental note to never ask Lars for blow again.

He abandoned the last line, left unfinished, and flopped onto his bed. He felt like he was on fire, skin a furnace and radiating heat. There was that stifling feeling in his jeans as well, his dick throbbing incessantly in his boxers to the beat of his heart.

Jesus, what was in that thing? Kirk unzipped his fly, spitting in his hand and slicking himself up. He fisted his cock, hand sliding up and down his length with haste like it was the last time he’d jerk off. There was the familiar pull at his abdomen, his balls growing tight as he reached his peak. 

And yet, even when he came over his chest, spilling over his fingers, the gnawing ache didn’t go away. It ate at him, and his cock got hard again at an alarming speed. This wasn’t good—they were due at soundcheck in less than three hours, and it was unlikely that the insatiable feelings he was having were going to go away so soon. 

The groupies won’t be available yet, and he doubts any random woman will want to hook up with him—he’s startled out of his thoughts when there’s a loud knock from the door. Quick to tuck himself back into his pants and hastily wiping himself clean, he calls out. “One minute!” When he’s finally presentable enough, he opens the door and peeks through the crack in it. 

“Yeah?” He asks, sniffling. Outside stands Jason, eyebrow raised as if he knew exactly what Kirk had been doing. “We’re heading for soundcheck in 2 hours.” Kirk wipes his nose, making sure there was no white residue left. Any rational thinking is thrown out the window as he reaches for Jason’s arm and pulls him in. 

Jason is taken by surprise, now standing with Kirk’s body flush against his. “Are you okay?” He asks, hand feeling up Kirk’s forehead. It’s near scorching and Jason swiftly pulls his hand back.

“You’re heating up. Do you have a fever?” Concerns swirls in the depths of his grey-blue eyes, and Kirk tiptoes, grinding his erection against Jason’s crotch. “Don’t know—I think my coke has something in it...” He pants out, pulling Jason close. “Has what in it?” He queries, feeling Kirk’s neck, just as hot as his forehead. 

“Don’t know, don’t fucking care. I need you. Now. Please.” Jason furrows his eyebrows in worry, but complies, letting Kirk push him down onto his bed and shove his shirt up, straddling his hips while grinding atop him. “Are you sure about this—“ “Shut up.” The auburn haired man groans, his dick stirring in his pants. 

Kirk grinds against him like a man crazed, face flush from how needy he was. He needed his dick in something—anything, and Jason was so conveniently there to satisfy his urges. Kirk grinds, precome soaking the fabric of his drawls. Jason’s hands rest on his hips, face scrunched up at the friction. 

Impatient and unsatisfied with just grinding, Kirk moves to undo his fly and peel off his skinny jeans. He tugs off Jason’s slightly baggier jeans with ease, boxers along with it. Wasting no time to lube up his fingers and feed them knuckle-deep to Jason, Kirk slots another in and scissors them. Jason merely takes it pliantly, seeing how desperate he was. 

“Fuck…Kirk-“ He hissed as he’s hurriedly fed a third, there’s a bite from the stretch underneath the pleasure. Kirk pumps his fingers a little more for good measure, before they’re pulled out and wiped on his sheets. His lubed up cock prods against Jason’s hole, before pushing past and rocking into the younger man slowly. 

His speed builds up as Jason grows a little accustomed to it, and soon he’s thrusting into him like a rabbit, body hunched over and gripping Jason’s spread legs. Jason fists the sheets as Kirk fucks into him, gasping as his prostate is assaulted with each hungry jerk of his hips. It’s the perfect mix of rough and fast that has him keening, no doubt that someone would hear them from next door, alongside the slamming of the bedframe against the wall.

Jason’s back jolts into an involuntary arch off the bed. He can feel his orgasm impending with the pressure coiled around his loins, like a spring soon to snap. The sound of skin against skin echoes around the room, accompanied by Jason’s high-pitched whines and Kirk’s loud groans. Jason finally snaps and clenched tight around Kirk whilecoming over his stomach, his cock twitching weakly. Kirk doesn’t stop, because he can’t. If he did, he might just die from how utterly aroused he was.

The older man doesn’t stop his brutal pace, and Jason flutters around him, his prostate getting oversensitive. He bites back a whimper as Kirk dips his head forward, rutting into him like a bitch in heat. The overstimulation is getting a lot more intense, and Jason squeezes his eyes shut. It feels good, but there’s an almost painful edge to the constant assault on his g-spot. 

But the pleasure outweighs the discomfort, and he finds himself on the edge of another orgasm soon. Kirk can feel the tight, warm heat of Jason still clenching weakly around him, and from the way his cock blurts precome it’s clear he’s going to come again. That’s further proved when Jason grows tighter around him, his shaft pulsing. Jason babbles as Kirk slams his hips into him at such a furious speed that his mind span.

Kirk kindly spits in his hand and starts to jerk Jason off, less than two strokes in and Jason comes again with a loud moan. Only after the second time he’s come does Kirk feel the pulling at his belly, low and warm. His movements get sloppy and he chases his orgasm down. The familiar tug at his balls is getting more prominent. 

His orgasm is starting to grow closer, and Jason’s so overstimulated that he cries as he comes a third time so pathetically, dribbling down the upside of his shaft into the puddle on his stomach. Kirk throws his head back again, he’s so damn close. Jason’s incessant clenching about him finally has him spilling into Jason, hips stuttering to a stop. 

He pants, propping himself up on his hands as he stays in Jason, not wanting to pull out just yet to preserve the warmth. Jason wiped his own tears, sniffling just like Kirk had been. Kirk does the very least to kiss away his tears to soothe him, caressing his face.

“Fuck.” Was all Jason said, breaths hiccuping. “I’m sorry—did I hurt you?” Kirk asks gently, noticing how the pull at his dick ebbed away. “I’m-I’m fine,” Jason says shakily, his cock oversensitive and his hole getting sore, “Just a bit sore.”

Kirk pulls out and gets one of his shirts to clean up the mess on Jason’s abdomen and around his ass. Jason sat up and immediately winced, the soreness kicking in quick after a good fucking. Yeah, that show was going to be a pain in the ass, quite literally. 

“Did you like the coke?” Lars casually asked Kirk in their tour bus. James glanced over momentarily, uninterested. “What the hell was in that thing?” Kirk grumbled, still a little upset at the fact that he couldn’t get a good high. “Just some strong aphrodisiacs. How’d you get it outta your system? Groupie?” Kirk shifted in his seat slightly. James looks over, now interested. 

“Is that why Jase was limping just now?” He mentions with a raised eyebrow. Lars looks over at Kirk, surprised. “I assumed he had a bad time with a groupie or something. You sure did a number on him, lucky bastard.” The Dane nudges him with a smirk. “I don’t think Jase liked it very much after.” Muttered Kirk,  averting his gaze from Jason, who glared at Lars, lying on his side opposite on the couch. 

“Don’t ever do that again you bastard.” Jason mutters, flipping Lars off. “You better have painkillers, or your ass is mine.” Lars stuck out his tongue cheekily, “Well…not a bad proposition…”

heyy im requesting again cus i liked the work you did for me so much :) could you do one with Jason/Anyone based on @hexxeddorm’s drawing on a waitress Jason? (im pretty sure you’ve seen it) the rest is up to what you want to write, just need to have him dicked down in that uniform 👀

again, love your works so much and take your time if you need to :) ❤️

GAHH had to make this into a halloween fic! i love that fanart so much this ask made me SO happy :)

Prove It

1987 • James/Jason

CW - semi public sex, toxic yaoi lmao, cross dressing, dubious consent kind of i don’t know, use of the F slur, internalized homophobia

Jason always looked forward to Halloween.

He’d dress in a fun costume, drink, maybe play a Halloween show if he was lucky. The Flotsam guys were even bigger on Halloween than he was and dragged him to countless costume parties with hookers hanging around; they’d give him a look, that look, and one of his bandmates would push Jason to go talk to a prostitute with a smirk.

“Cmon man, she’s like, totally your type! Blonde hair, blue eyes, looks like she could kill ya… go get ‘er!”

Yeah. It’s his type.

The girls were almost always wearing a sexy outfit. Skimpy, cheap clothes that accentuated their curves. The costumes were predictable— Sometimes a nurse. Sometimes a slutty witch who wants to trade her potions for your semen. Maybe a particularly naughty angel who decided maybe a little defiance would be good.

Or, a waitress.

Jason stares at himself in the mirror, regretting everything about this. He was still the Newkid, had to do everything the band told him. What James told him. So, when he was ordered to embarrass himself by wearing a very feminine, very revealing Waitress costume for the upcoming Halloween party, he obliged. Jason shuffled to the side to check the rest of his costume. Remembered how these costumes were made to show off ass and curves. It’s not a nice memory. His thighs seemed too muscular for the thin fabric of the light pink skirt, his chest and shoulders too broad and thick for the revealing top. Trying on costumes had been enjoyable in the past; now wearing his costume is the last thing he wants to do.

Jason’s eyebrows furrow as he continues to check himself out in the mirror. Maybe, he thinks, if he was a chick, there was a chance he would look good. But he’s not. No, he’s a guy in a fucking waitress costume too small for him just because James would get a kick out of it. Everyone else had a normal costume— a vampire, a werewolf, an imp. And, fuck, here he is. In a women’s skirt and top. In a shitty halloween store’s changing room where plastic decorations hang from the ceiling and walls. The painted on smiles of the plastic spiders don’t help Jason’s mood.

Jason sighs. He really doesn’t wanna do this. Surely there’s a way he can convince James to have mercy on him, right? Maybe he’d offer his personal stash of weed or Heineken. Embarrassed, Jason stops staring at his masculine figure in the mirror and takes a deep breath. James is on the other side of the dressing room, impatiently tapping his foot, and Jason assumes it’s because he wants to hurry up and get back to the guys.

“James? You’re.. really serious ‘bout this? Don’t wanna like, take my hash instead? This is stupid. Really fuckin’ stupid.”

Jason hears the other man grunt from the other side.

“What, too pussy? If you can’t even dress up in a stupid costume, why should I even keep you around?”

Well. Fuck.

“I- Fine. Whatever. I’m ready.”

A pause, then James is opening the door from the outside, not realizing how tantalizingly slow he’s going. Why did he do this again? To be honest, he wasn’t really thinking when he asked Jason to wear the costume. He was drunk. And, yeah. He’s usually drunk. Caught him there. But it was different. Jason was the one who brought costumes up in that stupid cheery voice, and you couldn’t blame James for wanting to mess with him. Not when he’s waiting for Jason to snap.

Here’s how it happened; the two were sitting in Jason’s room together with the steady beat of Electric Eye. Jason and James left all alone because Kirk and Lars wouldn’t do a damn thing without the other and Lars was tasked with getting the band more beer. Jason eyed James. James eyed Jason. Jason spoke up, blurting out a stupid question about Halloween, earning a groan from James. Like he wanted to make Jason believe talking to him was a chore. The conversation went on— if you count Jason sheepishly blabbering in hopes of entertaining James a conversation. It was when Jason mentioned those parties with his old band, Flotsam, that the blonde got an idea.

That’s when he asked Jason just how far he would go. Jason looked confused at first. The guitarist enlightened him. James asks the brunette what his problem is first, because of course he does, and follows it with something that made Jason determined.

“You always just take everything. All the pranks, all the jokes. When are you gonna snap at us, huh? When are you gonna snap at me? How far can you really take it? Prove to me you’re good enough.”

That’s how they ended up here. Jason showed him how much humiliation he can take by allowing James to lay eyes on him when he’s dressed like this. Because Jason is strong, Jason can take it. He can take all the shit James and the guys give him. In fact, he has to. So the bassist doesn’t hide when the door is finally opened all the way, only looking to the side, his cheeks dusted a light pink.

It hits James like a truck. He feels absolutely winded after he first takes the first look. The waitress skirt perfectly hugs his hips like it was specially tailored and crafted for Jason to give the guitarist a boner. His mouth goes dry, scanning the bassist up and down. The boy in front of him wasn’t supposed to look so damn perfect, the whole thing was supposed to be a joke. A stab at Jason, to see how far he’ll take it. To see if he’s good enough to be in Metallica. He is a replacement, after all. However, James would be lying if he said that replacement wasn’t making him short circuit. And James was also a dirty fuckin’ liar, because the waitress gag was more than just a gag to him.

“You. You, uh. You look stupid.”

There’s silence for a few moments. Then, Jason starts laughing. It throws James off, and he scrunches his eyebrows. The bassist giggles for a few moments longer before shaking his head.

“Is that all you have to say?”

James shifts uncomfortably and looks to the side. Walks in, closes the door behind him, then scowls. Like he didn’t just invite himself into an occupied dressing room like a freak. And he wasn’t! He swore. He only shut the door so no one else would see Jason like this. Which, fuck, wasn’t a great reason either, considering that’s the whole reason he’s forcing Jason to buy this stupid costume anyways. So people can see. And laugh. The only one that’s laughing is Jason, though, because he realized he’s got the big James Hetfield’s panties in a twist ‘cause of what was supposed to be a prank on him. Ironic.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me. Be grateful I’m closing the door so only I can see you. I should be the one laughing at you.”

Jason rolls his eyes. He’s not dumb enough to not pick up on what the situation is, though it is much different from what he expected. He really did expect James to laugh at him, to think he looked stupid. Instead he got that look, yes, that look, and a couple stuttered words when James stared at him like a dog staring at a treat. Jason’s no virgin. Maybe surprised, but he won’t let that show. What he does plan to show is dominance over this perverted blonde who was slowly getting closer to him.

“You look conflicted. Got something to say?”

Jason asks quietly, watching James get closer like a cartoon character floating to a pie. Pathetic, he thinks. He’s supposed to be the intimidating one and Jason’s got him hardening in his jeans from a simple costume like a homo. If you asked him, James was not a homosexual. He only liked girls. That was his justification for quickly hardening in his jeans at the sight of Jason. He looked like a girl, okay? That’s it. That’s the only reason.

But it wasn’t. Because James was inches away from the bassist, staring down at him with a hard on.

“I’m not- I’m not conflicted. Fuck are you trying to say?”

“Well.. I can see your boner through your jeans, but you’re trying to make yourself look like you’re mad. How’s that for a conflict?”

The blonde snarls. That was it. James shoves Jason against the back wall, rattling the little decorations in the dressing room. Jason yells with surprise and slight panic as he’s tossed against the wall like a ragdoll. Really hot once the initial surprise wears off, but he keeps that to himself. Jason’s chin is yanked up to look up at James’ flushed face. They meet eyes, the waitress boys’ gaze teasing and hungry while the guitarist’s is angry and lustful.

“I am not a fucking fag. Okay? I’m not. You- you just look like a woman, that’s IT. I don’t like guys. I don’t like you. I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

Instead of a reply, Jason forces his lips on James. Expecting resistance, he doesn’t go too hard— but, instead of being met with a punch to the gut, he feels the blonde hungrily reply by kissing him back like he’s been waiting for this moment for years. And, that’s not true. Because he’s only been waiting for months. Which is, like, significantly less gay. And this isn’t gay. Because right now Jason’s a just a slutty waitress. But, no matter how much James tells himself these things, they both know the truth. Thankfully, James’ worries melt away as they make out against the wall. Jason’s tongue finds its way into the blonde’s mouth and the taller boy whines, hands finding their way to Jason’s hips. It’s an ego boost feeling James fall apart in literal minutes all because of Jason. Jason did this to him. Made him straining against his jeans, begging to be inside the waitress boy. Made him shaky and whiny (to James’ dismay). He can’t think about that too long because everything’s happening so quickly—James’ hips start to rub against the bassists’ clothed dick as he nearly eats his face off with those sloppy kisses. It’s all teeth and spit as they dry hump each other, both sporting a full erection.

The kiss doesn’t last. James is pulling back, chest heaving, face red, and hard as a rock. His cock still rubs against the brunettes, and he can’t help but look at their strained cocks brushing against each other. Jason notices this and looks at the erotic scene too. He silently wonders if this costume will be ruined before he can even wear it for the party.

“If.. If you tell.. anyone about this.. I swear you’re a dead man..” James promises, trying to catch his breath and keep his desperate moans down at the same time.

“Won’t tell a soul.”

For some reason, that’s believable enough. ‘Cause James doesn’t miss a beat rubbing his length on Jason’s slightly shorter cock. Both are impressive. James thinks Jason’s is impressive. It’s got a pretty pink tip and girth that would make any girl drool— it’s too bad Jason’s using it on the Mighty Hetfield. Don’t ask James how he knows this. But, really, it is a beautiful cock, because all James can think about is how perfect and (probably) delicious it is as he ruts against Jason who is now leaning in to lick and suck at the blonde’s neck.

Shuddering, James’ grip on Jason becomes tighter as the tongue on his soft skin glides over him before picking a particularly sensitive spot and sucking. The bassist smirks against the taller boy’s neck as he sucks a hickey into the crook of James’ neck. Probably not a good look to have purplish marks all over your neck after you just walked out of a changing room with another man, but that was a worry for future James. He could always just say it was a vampire. And, ouch, Jason bites down on his flesh just like one, making James shiver and stutter. His hips trembled against the flushed cock below him and he bites his lip to hold back the moan that threatened to spill from his lips. It was already shameful enough he was doing this with another man, he doesn’t need the whole fucking store hearing it.

With a slick popping noise, Jason removes his tongue from his neck, leaving James dizzy. He stumbles back slightly, which he realizes is actually from Jason pushing him back to remove his skirt. The brunette’s fingers slowly push down that delicious pink skirt along with his boxers to reveal his weeping cock, and James swears he could’ve came right then.

“Don’t worry big boy, you can fuck me soon.”

Actually, he changes his mind. He could’ve cum to that. While he’s busy losing his goddamn mind, Jason’s fingers soak themselves in his wet mouth before dipping down to his hole, making sure James knows he’s teasing himself by circling his rim before dipping in. Jason makes a breathy noise as he works two fingers in and James can’t help but wonder if he’s starting with two because he’s done this before. His chest swells with jealously but he’s quickly distracted by realizing his hand made its way down to his cock to rub himself off while he watches his bandmate finger himself. He’s so goddamn horny his body’s doing shit on its own.

“‘S gonna feel so good, James. Just wait a- fuck- minute..”

James doesn’t respond. He can’t. His mouth feels like a desert. A third finger is added. When? It didn’t matter. James’ burning hot desire made everything feel like it was moving in both slow motion and high speed. Like he’s drunk, but really it’s just Jason making him feel like that. Because he can do that for some reason, which is really frustrating. It’s usually not very acceptable to fall for your bandmate, let alone fall for your male bandmate as a male.

But when Jason’s fucking himself on his fingers up against the wall, curls sticking to his forehead with sweat as he moans like a girl quietly in his very much girly costume, it’s different, okay? It’s different. Not, but Jason will have to get James to realize that a different time, because now he’s focused on getting James inside him and doesn’t really care if it’ll haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. James almost seems angry when Jason reaches to undo his jeans, like he’s trying to make himself angry so he’s not embarrassed. Typical James behavior. Typical James behavior is also fucking people till they break, which Jason is a little too excited for.

A position change and a few desperate kisses, and they’re back against the wall with James’ cock pressed against Jason’s hole. The guitarist twitches against the tight rim and he goes to bite his lip again, which does not go unnoticed. The bassist almost wants to laugh again at how badly James wants this.

“Desperate, huh?” Jason teases.

“Fuck you.”

“That’s a yes, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

Jason smiles lopsidedly, and James wants nothing more than to wipe it off his stupid, pretty face. So he grips Jason, white knuckling, and forces his hole down on his swollen cock, making them both groan. Jason’s eyes are wide as he’s stretched out and his legs shake and tremble . Hurts like a motherfucker, but damn, he knows it’ll be the best he’s had so far.

James doesn’t wait to prove that. He’s immediately ramming in and out of Jason, trying so desperately to hold back his embarrassingly girlish moans. It’s cute to Jason. He knows the poor guy is in the tightest hole he’s been in to date, because Jason knows himself, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. James can only tremble and watch his masculinity fade away as he’s being pleasured so immensely by a man, no, not a waitress, not a woman, no matter how much James wants to tell himself. James can’t control how fast he’s shoving himself in and out of Jason’s hole and the smaller boy almost feels bad— he’s really falling apart like a virgin. It almost reminds Jason of the first time he touched himself to a man. Except teenager Jason was exploring hormonal wants and James is fucking the prettiest guy around.

The bassist brings his hand up to the blonde’s face to gently caress it, the juxtaposition between the gentle touch and the rough sex below almost hilarious. His grayish eyes look into James’ blue ones, and he sees how vulnerable the boy is. He may be the one in Jason, but Jason’s done this before. With the Flotsam guys. With groupies. It’s not new. This is new to James because he’s denied himself for so long, and despite how awful James has treated the brunette, he feels the need to make the best for him.

“You’re doin’ so good- mmghh-, so good for giving in for me. Good boy, good boy-“ The bassist praises, tightening around him.

“S-stop-“

Jason pants, being cut off by a particularly hard thrust to his prostate. He seizes up, panicking, realizing he’s gonna cum. He’s gonna cum all over this costume he hasn’t bought and, well, it’s gonna be hot as fuck. James must’ve realized he’s gonna cum too, because he speeds up and goes even harder if that was possible. Jason cries out softly, trying to grab on to James as he feels his climax approaching. The humping the fingering, the fuck— it’s all gonna come crashing down into a brain numbing orgasm.

And that’s what happens when James stutters his hips and spills into him with no warning. Jason tenses, legs shaking and eyes watering, cum spurting out of him in thick ropes. It’s almost embarrassing how much he cums, and, James didn’t even bother to touch his cock. So why is he coming like a bitch in heat? And, funnily enough, James still isn’t convinced he’s gay despite cumming in another man’s ass. And liking it.

The two ride out their orgasms and catch their breath, thoughts spinning in their head. Am I gay now? What does this make us? Can we do that again? Did I seriously just cum in 5 minutes? The various hickeys become forgotten.

Questions left unanswered, because all that really matters is that Jason proved himself.

“…I still hate you, Newkid.”

dave mustaine gay little applestore monkey

enjoy your break!! you deserve it :) <33

thank you 😝❤️

results of the last poll:

since it was a tie there’s gonna be a second poll :)

results of the second poll:

okay thanks I’m gonna go write now

jason, if you even care.

hey vic, i really like your writings and i'm here to request something. so, could you write about hetstaine ?? 'm thinking about fwb hetstaine, they were fighting over something and james was about to leave dave, but dave stopped him from leaving him, shaking and desperate. it's like a they fight and they make out afterwards kind of thing, thank you tho!

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒/𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 - 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞

warnings: fwb, arguing, making up & making out, makeup sex, anal sex, anal fingering

nsfw under the cut :)

This is stupid. 

They’re arguing over something they’ve both already forgotten, and the whole situation is spiralling out of control. Hurtful words are thrown carelessly, angry shouts fill the once comforting silence. 

Dave wonders how it all came down to this.

Him and James had been friends with benefits. No strings attached, just casual fucking like good friends would. Only Dave’s let James too close into his heart, because the blonde knows all the sore spots to poke at to make things worse.

Dave should’ve never agreed to this in the first place. He should’ve cut it off the second he felt that knot in his stomach twist anxiously whenever James would smile. 

Now he’s here, in his apartment, yelling in his bandmate’s face and being yelled at in return. And Dave hates how he can’t ignore the way the tears in James’ eyes are tugging at his heartstrings.

Dave steps back to take a breath and wipe away the few tears stubbornly falling down his cheeks. 

He glances over James, eyes landing on the bruise now forming on the blonde’s cheek and guilt washes over him instantly. He’s never lost control like that before, but it’s like a flip was switched inside his brain and all the rage and frustration and heartbreak all just came bursting out all at once. 

Dave’s heart clenches at the sight. 

“God, James, I’m-“

He takes another step towards James, hand reaching out but he stops himself. He wants to hold James, wants to comfort him and tell him how sorry he is, but he doesn’t think his touch would be welcomed. Not with the way James is now staring at him as if he’s the antichrist incarnate.

“I didn’t mean to-“ Dave stammers out anyway. James cuts him off with an unamused scoff and Dave flinches at the cold glare.

“Save it, Dave. Just….” James huffs, pushing his bangs out of his face with frustration as he tries to find his words. “Just don’t.”

Dave shuts his mouth and clenches his teeth together. He wants to protest, wants to apologize and grovel and beg for forgiveness, but James’ expression is hard and unforgiving. And Dave knows he’s pushed past the point of no return and he’s just going to have to deal with the inevitable consequences.

There’s another moment of silence as James rubs his temples. Dave doesn’t dare to speak. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” James mutters after a while, so low that it’s almost a whisper. Dave’s heart sinks and James doesn’t even need to elaborate any further because Dave already knows exactly what he means. 

Dave’s body goes cold. 

“James… No, wait, come on,” Dave whispers. He moves quick to James’ side again, fingers grasping at thin air when he’s met with a step back. 

James shakes his head and sighs out a shaky breath. The tears are falling freely from his eyes now and it hurts Dave so much just to see how broken the other looks. It’s all his fault.

“You said this was casual,” James says and Dave’s not quite sure if it’s a statement or an accusation, “Neither of us were supposed to get hurt. You promised, Dave. You promised.”

“James, please. Just , listen to me-.” Dave reaches for James again, hands landing on soft skin. He carefully caresses the blonde’s face, making sure to avoid the spot he knows will bruise tomorrow. 

James doesn’t shy away from the touch, but he doesn’t lean into it either. It feels distant, cold, unfamiliar.

“What else is there to say?” James asks, voice rough and low. But Dave catches the brief flash of something in his eyes. Something tender and vulnerable and Dave just wants to wrap his arms around the other and never let go.  

“James, I….” Dave swallows thickly, finding comfort by gently rubbing his thumb across James’ jaw. “I’m sorry. I won’t- I won’t lose my temper like that ever again, I promise. I’m so, sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

Dave lets his thumb run across James’ cheek, wiping away the tears. It doesn’t get the response Dave wants, it doesn’t elicit the same laugh and grin he’s used to seeing whenever he’d do small gestures like this but he can’t bring himself to pull away. 

“Don’t leave me,” he repeats, “I love you too much to let you go.”

James’ expression crumbles but he doesn’t push Dave away. One of his hands tentatively moves up and Dave holds his breath as fingers clutch at the edge of his shirt, pulling his body forward. He tries to ignore the way his heart leaps in his chest as he brings his other hand up to gently cup the other’s face while his shirt is now gripped with two sweaty palms. 

James leans his face into Dave’s hand, closing his eyes before letting out a small sob. 

“You can’t just say that,” James says in a shaky voice, so vulnerable, and Dave’s never seen him like this before.

Dave’s heart breaks all over again but he keeps his hands gentle and soft on James’ face, thumbs softly wiping away the tears. He leans closer, their foreheads bumping together. He can smell his own cologne on James’ skin.

Dave tries not to cling on too tight in case James changes his mind and pulls away. 

“Don’t leave me.”

“It’s not fair,” James mutters, his grip tightening on Dave’s shirt. He opens his eyes and Dave almost loses himself in the watery blue of them. “I never asked for… I didn’t want…” James chokes on his words a few times before he finally manages to say what he meant. 

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”

Dave’s breath hitches and he moves his hands to cradle the other’s face in his hands, heart racing and throat dry. There’s an overwhelming need to close the space between them and Dave fights every urge to just lean down and kiss James like he’s been wanting to do for months. 

Dave can’t take his eyes off of James, drinking in the sight of those eyes and the way the blonde glances down at his lips every few seconds. It’s taboo to the both of them. They’d made it clear that they would never kiss.

Dave tries to find his voice, but all that comes out is a strangled whimper.

James must see the desperation in Dave’s eyes because Dave knows he looks completely helpless and vulnerable. But he doesn’t give a damn right now because the person he had been yearning for for over a year was standing right in front of him, looking at him like he actually meant something more than just a good time. 

Dave’s thumbs gently caress the other’s cheeks. Fingers move across the skin, tracing the fading marks and lines and blemishes he’s grown so familiar with over the months they’ve spent together. James lets him, leaning into every touch like a cat to its favourite person.

James’ hands slowly move to the back of Dave’s neck, fingers tangling into the soft blonde hair. The hair he used to pull and tug on without a care in the world while he held Dave down to the mattress and fucked him like there was no tomorrow. And James knows all the buttons to push and all the spots to touch and all the words to use on Dave to make him shiver and whimper and moan. 

But right now, the only thing James can think of doing is holding on.

“I hate you,” James mutters after a few silent minutes, but he doesn’t pull away. 

If anything, the grip on Dave’s hair tightens and James uses it to tug his head upwards, forcing Dave to look up at him. Dave’s fingers run down, tracing the outline of James’ chin and his throat and the top of his collarbones. 

Tanned hands move to the other’s hips, hesitating for a moment, before pulling him closer. Their lips almost touch.

“Then hate me some more,” Dave replies, his voice barely above a whisper as he feels James’ hands grip the his hips, pulling him even closer and James’ breath stutters. James’ hands wander to Dave’s shirt, bunching up the fabric in tight fists as his eyes scan the ginger shakily, anger and so many more emotions swirling in those beautiful blue eyes. 

“Hate me if you’re going to let me love you.”

Dave doesn’t know who leans in first but a second passes and James’ mouth crashes against his lips. It’s rough and messy and their teeth clang against each other more than once but Dave can’t find the energy to care. He kisses back with just as much force, hands reaching up to clutch the other’s jaw as they both try to reclaim each other’s mouths in a bruising kiss. 

“I hate you so much,” James mutters between kisses as he holds him right against him. They’ve said many times that this wasn’t allowed between them—they were just friends. But now it felt so right.

Dave can’t help the quiet whimper that rises when he feels James pull him down by the hips until their lower bodies are pressed together tightly. He desperately pushes his tongue into the other’s mouth, letting his own hands roam down, grabbing and pulling and just trying to bring as much contact as possible. 

He’s got James’ lower lip between his teeth, biting and sucking the skin as his tongue invades the others mouth. His body is aching to be pinned down and touched and marked with the familiar bruises the other has left on him countless times before.

They collapse on the bed, limbs tangled together and chests heaving as they finally pull back to catch their breath. Dave lets his hands settle on James’ hips, fingers tracing the sharp jut of his hip bone, desperate to feel as much of James as he can before it’s taken away from him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says once his breathing has come down to a steady pace. He gently pushes the bangs out of James’ face and he can’t help a small smile when James turns his face to lean into his touch once more.

“It’s okay,” James tells him and Dave feels his heart skip a beat at the small, sad smile on the blonde’s face. 

The expression quickly dissolves back into a scowl and Dave can’t help the nervous shudder that goes through him, but his heart skips a beat again when James crawls on top of him and pins his wrists above his head. Dave looks up at the blonde above him wide-eyed and breathless.

“You’re insufferable,” James mutters as his hands release their grip on Dave’s wrists and move to tug at his shirt, “And stubborn. And annoying. And stupid. And—” he yanks the fabric up, discarding it somewhere on the floor. Dave lets out a surprised noise as he’s flipped over onto his stomach and he can’t help arching his back at the way James’ hands run down his spine.

Dave’s breath stutters, his mind already fuzzy and he can barely focus. He almost misses the way James moves away from him but he can’t miss the sound of a bottle uncapping and it makes his head swim with dizzying thoughts. 

“Stop being so difficult,” James mutters behind him and Dave can feel his breath against his ear. Fingers tug at the belt buckle of his jeans, pushing the fabric down and off his thighs. Dave lets out a whimper that turns into broken moan as he feels James kiss the back of his neck, sucking the skin there before nipping it with his teeth. 

Dave grips the sheets underneath him to ground himself.

Dave can feel the familiar buzz in his brain and the pleasant weight of James’ body against him, pressing him down into the bed as he mouths against the back of his shoulder and Dave’s fingers clench the sheets tighter. He wants to say something but the only sounds he can make are strangled moans and whimpers.

Dave feels James’ hands grip his hips hard and he lets out a shuddering breath, waiting impatiently for the touch he craves. 

Dave tries pushing his hips up into the other’s hands, a low whine leaving his throat when there’s a rough tug to his hips and he’s pushed down onto the bed.

“Hey, hey, be patient,” James breathes in his ear and Dave can’t help but let out another strangled noise. He turns his face to press in into the sheets beneath him, breathing through his nose to slow down his racing heart.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Dave says, choking out the words in between moans and sighs and cries when James’ fingers press into all the right places while the other mouthens at the back of his neck. Dave can’t keep still under James’ touch, shifting his hips as he presses back against him and he relishes in the way the blonde groans and curses in his ear.

“You’re mine, y’know that?” James mutters against Dave’s neck and Dave responds with a moan, pushing his hips back against the other.

“James… Please…” Dave barely manages to croak out, his voice shaky and he doesn’t even care if it sounds desperate. He’s always been impatient and needy when it comes to this, and James always loves to take his time.

James’ hands slide along Dave’s thighs, teasing and coaxing out soft mewls and gasps. And with James’ lips and hot breath caressing his ear, Dave feels every touch like electricity against his skin.

”Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?” James growls, hands gripping the ginger’s hips. Dave arches his back into the touch and lets out another choked moan.

“Stop holding back,” James mutters and Dave only just realizes that he’s been biting his lip to muffle his moans, “I want to hear you. I need to hear you.”

The ginger merely whimpers again, feeling slick, calloused fingers prod at his hole. He bites down a shudder as James starts with one finger, curling and uncurling it in a way that has Dave holding onto the pillow for dear life. Then he adds another, scissoring the two, spreading his fingers out in him. Then a third, and Dave’s drooling into his pillow, clenching his pillow so tight his knuckles are white.

“You’ve always got to make things so difficult for yourself,” James mumbles as his fingers work Dave open slowly, stretching him with gentle touches and Dave wants to cry out, wants to tell James to just hurry up and just push into him, but all he can do is gasp and moan. “Always gotta push people away even though you actually want them to stay”

Dave’s vision swims as James’ fingers move inside him. His head is swimming with lust and need, but there’s a small pang of pain in his heart.

Fingers run down his back, blunt nails scratching down his spine and Dave lets out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut when he feels James’ tongue run across his shoulder, teeth nipping the bare skin. 

Dave feels himself coming undone before they’ve even really started.

“You say that a lot,” Dave mutters in shaky breath and he can practically feel James roll his eyes. James chuckles, low and rough and Dave feels himself shiver when a hand gently pushes on the top of his head. 

“Bite the pillow,” James mutters against his ear and the words make Dave clench around nothing but the feeling of James' body pressing against his.

Dave bites the pillow so hard he’s worried he might just tear through the fabric. He moans and whines and shudders as his body is pushed and pulled and twisted and rearranged on the sheets in every way James wanted. Soft caresses and touches are replaced with sharp nails and rough hands and hot kisses and bites that leave marks behind on pale skin. 

Dave’s mind is swirling and he has no idea when he lost all semblance of control and how he ended up with his legs over James’ shoulder and his head spinning as he clings to the bedsheet like it was his lifeline. Turns out he didn’t need to bite his pillow after all.

Dave’s never really been one to be loud in bed, but he can’t seem to keep his mouth shut now. Everything feels like too much. 

“Ah, James. I—ah. Please—” The words don’t even make sense to him but he tries to voice out whatever it is that’s going through his mind. He’s overwhelmed and his brain is struggling to catch up with his mouth. All he’s focused on is the sensation of James’ tip rubbing against him.

He feels James take his hands, intertwining their fingers together and pinning both of his hands down to the mattress. Dave looks up at James with heavy lidded eyes, barely managing to focus on the sharp blue swirling with so many emotions. His heart feels so full and he almost feels like he’s going to burst.

“I love you,” he mutters in a breath and he would’ve been embarrassed about how desperate the words would’ve sounded like if it wasn’t for the way James’ entire demeanor softens.

James lets out a long, shaky breath before leaning down and pressing their foreheads together. Dave lets out a small gasp when James slowly pushes into him and Dave’s hands clench around the ones holding them together. 

“I hate you,” James says again and Dave can feel his breath on his face. “I hate that I love you this much.”

Dave can’t help the whine that escapes him, but it’s quickly replaced by a moan when James starts moving. It’s overwhelming and Dave’s not sure how he managed to last this long. 

“Me too. I hate how much I love you, it’s killing me,” Dave manages to say between gasps as he meets James’ thrusts with shallow moans. His hands are still pinned in between James’ in a tight grip and he’ll probably have tiny dots of red marked down his wrists for days.

“You really know how to screw up everything you touch, don’t you?” James murmurs but his tone is softer now, almost in awe. “You’ve already ruined me and you still have the audacity to make me fall in love with you.”

Dave’s too far gone to think of any response to that. All he knows right now is that he has James over him, inside him and he’s surrounded and consumed by everything that is James. Nothing else matters to him anymore.

Every touch, every sound, every breath and every movement of James sends jolts of pleasure through his entire body that leaves Dave dizzy and breathless. He’s completely lost in the sensation of James and Dave lets himself be pulled and pushed and guided. All he can do is keep his eyes on James, taking in the sight of sweat soaked blond hair and heaving chest that is moving in tandem with his. He would give anything to have this moment last forever.

Dave’s lost in the way James’ lips are pressed against all the sensitive spots on his neck while his hands are holding Dave’s hips in a tight hold, thrusting up into him while he continues the same steady pace. Dave grips the hand holding his a little tighter, a gasp and whimper escaping him. There’s the familiar tingle down in his loins, and he knows he’s getting close.

Dave’s not quite sure if it’s the way James keeps whispering how well he’s taking him, or the way he kisses his skin while saying he hates him, but his mind is spinning and he can’t hold back anymore. 

“James. I’m gonna—” Dave’s words dissolve back into a whine as his head curves back against the pillows, brow scrunched up and gasping. “Please. I need—I’m gonna...”

“Come for me.”

James’ voice breaks through the haze and Dave lets out a gasp, feeling his body tense up as his toes curl into the sheets. The pressure building up inside him finally releases and his spine arches off the bed. His legs shake as he comes, clenching around James so tight he might snap the poor guy’s dick off, and his vision swims with white. Dave is distantly aware of the sound of his own name echoing in his ears and the feeling of James thrusting into him, pumping his load deep into him, holding each other tight. 

His body is still trembling, every nerve in his body on fire and Dave’s struggling to catch his breath. He’s completely overwhelmed and drained. He’s not sure which part of his body is the most sensitive right now. 

A hand brushes against his face and Dave can hear James’ panting above him, before he feels the weight of the blonde on him as James’ body collapses. Dave weakly moves his arms around to hold the other against him.

They lay there in silence, the only sound in the room is the sound of their jagged breaths and the pounding of his own heart. Dave can feel James’ breath against his collarbones and the weight of his body on top of him leaves him with a sense of calm he hasn’t felt in months and he could just fall asleep at that very moment.

They’re both hot and sweaty and sticky and Dave’s pretty sure they need to change the bed sheets after this. But Dave doesn’t feel like moving and he’s more than happy to stay like this with James over him, their heartbeats racing against each other’s.

Dave idly runs his fingers down the other’s spine, tracing the sweaty skin and he hums gently at the shiver it earns from James. Dave can feel James’ hands gently rubbing at his sides, as if trying to soothe out the small tremors still going through his body from the aftershocks.

“I love you.” Comes a small, soft murmur, barely audible. 

Dave can’t even begin to describe what hearing those words from James does to his heart, and he hugs the other tighter against his body before moving one of his hands to cup the blonde’s face.

“Promise you won’t change your mind?” Dave’s voice comes out in a weak whisper and there’s a hint of insecurity in his words.

He feels James’ head move up from the crook of his neck and the other gently rests his chin against his chest so he can look at Dave with a frown. 

“Why the hell would I change my mind?” James mutters, a hint of annoyance in his voice. One of his hands moves to intertwine their fingers together. “You’re stuck with me now.”

And Dave thinks—no, he knows—that everything will be alright.

save me jameson yaoi

anyways hi guys it’s been a while😛