Between Lust And Anger

self indulgent jameson.

Gonna be honest I don't know what to caption this with lol but Jason gets surrounded briefly

results of the last poll:

since it was a tie there’s gonna be a second poll :)

results of the second poll:

okay thanks I’m gonna go write now

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒/𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 - 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐄

warnings: Lars and Kirk playing matchmaker (kind of?), James being an a confusing asshole, Jason being helplessly charmed by James, Fluff

inspired by @magnetadraww’s art of Jason & James!! Defo gonna make a part 2 to this!

fluff under the cut :)

Over his time in Metallica, Jason found that spending nights hanging around his bandmates leaned into two different paths—they’d get shitfaced and pass out, or they’d play a stupid game that always involved one of them getting terribly embarrassed.

Tonight, it was clear it was going to end with someone getting humiliated. Hopefully it’s not him again…

With his arms crossed and his legs spread out, Jason sat on the hotel floor with his back against the sofa, watching Lars spin an empty bottle on the carpet in front of him. All three of his bandmates were seated on the sofa, watching with interest as the bottle clattered against the carpet, spinning in sharp, quick intervals before slowing down.

Watching with mild interest, he pops a blueberry in his mouth from the fruitbowl their hotel had so graciously provided. Blue eyes lock onto the neck of the bottle, watching it go round and round.

Eventually, the bottle slithers to a slow stop, and the neck of it points directly at Jason. Lars snickers lowly under his breath and Kirk looks like a child about to receive a birthday present, practically bursting with curiosity and excitement.

He huffs a groan, knowing he’ll have to pick between the lesser evil in Truth of Dare. It’s like they’re 13 year old girls at a sleepover. What’re they gonna do next? Chat about which teenage mutant ninja turtle deserves a death penalty?

“What’ll it be, Jase?” Kirk asks, barely able to keep the amusement out of his tone.

Lars nudges his arm against Jason’s shoulder, looking at him with an excited expression.

“C’mon, we all know you’ll choose truth. It’s not like you have the balls for a dare.”Lars knew exactly how to irk Jason—and to prove Lars wrong, he picked dare.

“Dare.” His voice holds a challenge—whatever they give him couldn’t be too bad. They had boundaries set for this: no nudity, public humiliation and dangerous dares.

Lars grins; it’s exactly what he wants, for Jason’s pride to make him pick dare.

Kirk, who had been sitting on the left, glances at Lars with an amused look on his face. It was obvious by their reactions that they were hoping he would pick dare.

“Alright then… I got a good one for you.” Lars grins mischievously, licking at his bottom lip.

Leaning forward, Lars sits up and looks down at Jason, who’s eyes are narrowed with suspicion.

“So, my dare… Is for you to eat a strawberry.”

Jason’s taken aback at how simple the dare is. There must be a twist…

“…Just eating a strawberry?” He says in a bewildered tone. Lars smirks—he’s clearly loving this.

“Yup! Just eating a strawberry.”

Kirk sits back against the sofa, his face displaying a look of feigned confusion.

“What’s wrong, Jason? Scared?”

“No, just..confused.” He mutters, reaching into the fruit bowl for a perfectly red strawberry. He thinks everything’s going maybe okay, until Lars drops the bomb on him. The second half of the dare.

Once Jason’s settled with the strawberry in his fingers, Lars grins and adds, “Oh—almost forgot to mention the one little catch…”

“You have to eat it with James.”

Kirk nods in agreement, like this was all planned out, and it probably was.

“You both have to eat half of the strawberry, with the strawberry right between you guys. Should be simple right?”

Jason swallows back a groan—they were always trying to push him and James together. It’s not that he hated James, no, not at all. But the guy kind of intimidated him, and the feeling he got when he was around the frontman was strange and a little uncomfortable.

He looks up at his two bandmates, both of which were waiting for his answer and he knew he didn’t have much of a choice. If he refuses, he’ll be labeled a pussy. 

“Why’re you dragging me into this?” James laments, frowning. James made it very clear he didn’t like the idea one bit—typical James behaviour.

Lars rolls his eyes, and Kirk grins mischievously.

“Oh c’mon, it’s a damn strawberry. It’ll be over in ten seconds.”

“Yeah, we’re not asking you to make out.” Kirk chirps, knowing that would get a rise out of James. It worked, and James threw him an annoyed look.

Jason watched the back and forth like a tennis match, and he could see the wheels turning in James’s head. Jason’s sure the guy’s gonna refuse, like he always does, until James suddenly speaks. 

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

Jason’s eyes widen and he can’t help but wonder why James had changed his mind. He watches as James sits up against the sofa, and he realizes it’s probably because he doesn’t want to appear like he’s scared to do a silly dare.

“Atta’ boy, James!” Lars exclaims happily, patting James’s shoulder. Kirk grins, and Jason’s certain he’s secretly enjoying the two of them being forced together.

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Jason’s face begins to flush red. He can’t believe James actually agreed, and he can already feel his heartbeat increase. This would be a long night.

Jason hoists himself off the ground, settling next to James on the couch. This is so embarrassing, even with just the four of them in the room. He doesn’t know where to start—where to even place the strawberry, how this would work. 

It seems like James has other plans, because he’s soooo confident, taking the berry out of Jason’s hand. So he was going to take the lead? Okay, he could work with that…

Jason could sense James’s confidence, and it only made him more flustered. He could see Lars and Kirk smiling at them both, their heads leaning forward like they’re watching a movie. 

Jason’s heart hammered in his chest when James’s fingers brushed against his. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, but it didn’t work. James was so close to him, and he swore he could feel the heat from his body.

James smirks smugly, and Jason’s just glad to find that the guy isn’t giving him any issues yet.

“You don’t need to look so nervous, Jase. It’ll be over before you know it. “

He shifts in his spot, moving a little closer to Jason and holding the strawberry in front of both of their faces.

Jason could hardly respond—he was too focused on trying not to have a heart attack. James being close to him like this was overwhelming, and it was only going to get worse. The fact that Lars and Kirk were eagerly watching them didn’t help either. He felt so awkward, but he knew there was no backing out of this now.

“Open wide…” 

Jason’s eyes widen in shock as James commands, and he could feel a shiver run down his spine. How was he supposed to handle this? He swallowed back a gulp, but slowly did as the guy told him to and opened his mouth.

The heat in his cheeks deepened, and this was humiliating. This dare was a terrible, terrible idea. But he would get through it. James brings the strawberry closer to his mouth, and Jason’s mind is running a million miles a minute. 

He almost squeaks when James’s thumb makes contact with his bottom lip, pulling it down slightly to allow the berry to enter his mouth. His hand then moves to hold his nape—the gesture is waaaay to intimate, and Jason notices the tiniest sound of surprise from Lars.

The strawberry is placed between their mouths, and Jason’s struggling to breathe. This was so wrong—there was no reason James needed to hold him like this. He could feel the guy’s fingers press firmly against the sensitive skin of his neck, and he’s positive James could probably feel how hot his skin is. 

Jason tries to maintain a calm demeanor, but he’s positive he’s a flushed mess right now, but he has to keep his cool. He can’t look like an idiot in front of James or his other two bandmates.

James smirks, and Jason’s sure it’s because the guy knows exactly what this is doing to him. The fingers against his nape feel like they’re burning through his skin, and the urge to press against James’s touch is almost too much to bear. 

He can still feel Kirk and Lars’s eyes on him. They’re probably enjoying this like two damn kids watching an interesting tv show.

Jason’s starting to regret ever agreeing to this stupid game—how could this dare be so intimate? They’re just supposed to eat a strawberry for god’s sake, but of course James had to make it so difficult. 

Jason’s eyes flicker up to James’s, and the smirk on the frontman’s face confirms that he’s enjoying this. It’s like he was trying to get a reaction out of him on purpose.

The strawberry is somehow incredibly juicy, and when James and Jason bite down on it simultaneously, the juice somehow all drips down Jason’s chin. James looks untouched, but Jason has to cup a hand to prevent the sweet juices from dirtying his clothes. James seems to be amused by that—though there’s a glint of emotion in his eye Jason can’t quite pinpoint.

Jason’s absolutely embarrassed, and he’s certain he’s the color of a tomato at this point, but James seems to be enjoying his suffering. He can’t believe he’s managed to make a mess eating a damn strawberry, but here he is. 

He’s too focused on trying to hide his shame to notice the way James’s gaze travels down to his lips, watching the trickle of juice slide down his chin.

He tries to discreetly wipe his chin, but he can’t help but feel James’s eyes on him. The guy’s looking at the drop of juice on his chin like he desperately wants to taste it. The thought sends a shudder running down his spine, and the only thing Jason wants right now is to get this experience over with. 

He glances up to get a look at their bandmates—Kirk’s snickering lowly, and Lars is completely shocked—but their reactions are the least of his worries right now.

“Okay, there. Happy?” He bristled, not very happy with either of the pair. This was their fault. They had planned this stupid dare.

“Yeah.” James leans back against the couch, and a wicked smirk graces his face. 

Kirk and Lars can’t help but snicker, their eyes flickering to examine the two bandmates. Kirk speaks up first, barely able to hide his amusement.

“That was… certainly something.” He chuckles lowly, and Lars grins widely, clearly enjoying himself too much.

By the end of the night, Jason knows that deep down, he’s the one that’s lost the game that time. Again. 

Throughout the rest of the night, Lars and Kirk continued to poke fun at him and James, but Jason couldn’t focus at all. He was far too distracted by the fact that James had been acting strange towards him. 

He kept catching glimpses of the guy looking at him, the look on his face almost…wanting. Whatever that was supposed to mean…

That evening, Jason’s mind would often wander back to their little ‘dare’. The feeling of James’s fingers against his neck and the heat from the guy’s body was forever burned into his mind, and that stupid little smirk that had been on his face…

It was almost hard to believe that this was the same guy that used to snap at him for the dumbest, tiniest things.

It was driving him crazy. He couldn’t think straight. His heart’s racing, and he’s positive all his thoughts and feelings were written all over his face.

The only way he was going to get rid of this uneasy feeling was to go lay down, but he knew he’d just lay there and replay the entire night in his head. He knew sleep wouldn’t find him tonight.

In fact, something or rather someone, found him instead…

Jason was in his hotel room, flopped on one of the beds as he stared up at the ceiling, trying to forget about the nights events. He could still feel the heat of James’s body and the touch of his fingers against his nape, like the sensations had left a permanent mark against his skin. 

He heard a knock against the door, and he groaned, assuming it was either Kirk or Lars ready to bug him some more.

He heaves himself up off the bed with a sigh, and he walks over to the door. He opens it, expecting to see Kirk or Lars standing in the doorway, but to his surprise, it’s…James.

The frontman stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed, and he’s watching Jason with a calm expression. Jason’s completely shocked to see him here, and his first thought is that the guy’s here to continue making fun of him.

All he can manage out is a small “Hey.” It’s pathetic, but he doesn’t know what else to say, especially after that stupid dare. His heart beats against his chest like thunder, and he’s sure James could hear it from the way he smirks like something about his embarrassment is so funny.

James’s smirk deepens, and he pushes off from the doorframe to enter the hotel room, forcing Jason to side-step so he can get past. He closes the door behind him with a silent click, and the room instantly falls into silence.

Jason’s heart is racing, but he doesn’t know why. What was the guy even doing here?

James turns to Jason again, and it takes everything in him to not shiver under the guys intense gaze. He’s used to having to deal with James’s intimidating stares, but it feels different for some reason. It’s almost like he’s not used to having those sharp, dark eyes focused directly on him.

“You look nervous.” James remarks, his voice deep and low.

Jason clenches his jaw at the remark, and he swallows down the lump in his throat. He is nervous, but he doesn’t know why and he isn’t about to admit it to the guy either. 

“What do you want?” Jason’s voice is steady, but he can’t help but feel the slightest bit flustered with James standing so close to him.

James raises his eyebrows, like he’s amused by Jason’s attempt at acting like he’s not ruffled. That smirk is still on his face.

“What? Can’t I just come see you?” He steps forward, now mere inches away from the other man.

Jason’s heart begins to thump even faster, and he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He’s been alone with James plenty of times before, but this was different. 

He didn’t know exactly what it was, but James’s expression and the way he was looking at him was making him anxious. It was like he could read right through him.

He crosses his arms over his chest, hoping to hide some of his nerves.

“You never just ‘come visit me,’ so spit it out.”

James keeps his calm demeanor, taking another step forward and effectively backing Jason up against the wall. Jason’s throat gets tight as he feels the cold surface of the wall behind him.

James places both his hands on either side of Jason, and he’s practically towering over him now. A small shiver racks through Jason’s body, and James can definitely see it now.

“Can’t a friend check up on his bandmate?”

James’s smirk morphs into a half grin, and he takes another step forward, closing the already small space between them. Jason’s heart is beating quicker than a damn machine gun now, and his whole face feels warm.

Jason doesn’t even know what to say. The front man was way too close to him—he could feel the heat of James’s body and the sound of his breathing. He clenches his jaw, and he desperately wills himself to hide any hint of how flustered he is.

“Is that what you do? Just corner your band mates and crowd them into a wall?”

“Only you.” 

James’s voice is a low, almost sultry tone, and Jason’s sure his heart just skipped a beat. He tries to come up with some sort of response, but the words get stuck in his throat.

He’s absolutely flustered now, and James has to know that he’s got him trapped against the wall like a fly.

James takes a moment to look Jason over, and the small shiver that wracks through the man’s body doesn’t go unnoticed by him. He moves in even closer, until there’s only an inch between them. Jason’s breathing increases, and a red flush slowly creeps across his cheeks.

“You look pretty like this.” James murmurs, his gaze wandering over Jason’s face.

The words catch Jason off guard, and he’s sure the flush on his cheeks deepens. This shouldn’t be having this much of an effect on him, but it was. 

James’s voice is so low, but his demeanor is still so calm, like he’s unaffected by having Jason this close to him. Jason swallows dryly, desperately trying to collect his thoughts.

“P-pretty?” He whispers, his voice cracking slightly.

James lifts a hand, and Jason’s breath hitches in his throat as the guy slowly moves his hand up to his face. He watches with wide eyes as James’s fingers gently caress his jawline, and a small gasp escapes his mouth.

The feeling of the other man’s touch sends shivers through his body, and the smirk on James’s face is so smug and irritating and…attractive.

James brushes a thumb over Jason’s bottom lip, and his smirk deepens when he feels the other man’s body shudder. The way Jason’s breathing was increasing and how his face had gone red was too good to ignore. 

He leans in impossibly close, his voice a low whisper right beside Jason’s ear. 

“So cute…”

Jason’s whole body goes tense at the feel of James’s breath against his ear, and he’s positive the guy can hear the rate of his heart thumping wildly inside his chest. 

He doesn’t know what to do—he can’t think straight with James so close to him like this. James’s hand is still caressing his face, and he can feel himself slowly start to come undone under the other man’s touch.

“I can hear your breathing, y’know.” James mutters lowly, his thumb now caressing the sensitive skin beneath his chin. He tilts Jason’s head up, calloused fingers gliding against his skin like silk. 

Jason almost whimpers, but he quickly bites his bottom lip to stop any sound from coming out. The front man’s touch seemed like it was burning his skin, and it was so damn irritating how calm he still looked.

Jason swallows back a small gasp as James’s thumb still caresses the sensitive skin of his chin, and he can’t believe he was letting the guy do this. But he couldn’t find it in himself to stop him or push him away. 

“You’re shaking.” James murmurs, and Jason’s breath hitches in his throat. The man was right—he was shaking like a damn leaf.

His body trembles slightly as James’s hand cups his jaw, and Jason curses under his breath. The guy’s touch was too warm, just like when he held him during the dare.

James runs the soft pad of his thumb against Jason’s cheek in a slow, gentle motion, and a small whimper escapes his mouth. The sound is pathetic and embarrassing, and he’s sure James is definitely laughing internally at how affected he is.

James leans in closer, and Jason can’t help but wonder is this is how all the girls feel like when James seduces them. Heart rate spiking, cheeks all flush and rosy, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

The blonde likes this—it’s different from all the groupies and girls he’s used to charming. It’s a good kind of different, one that he wants to draw out. He wants to make Jason want him more than does already; to chase him down and prove his worthiness for James’ true affections.

This is just a test run to see if Jason could get wrapped around his finger from a minuscule interaction.

James closes the small, almost microscopic space between them even more, and a small shudder wrecks through Jason’s body as he feels the other man’s breath against his skin. His heart is beating even faster, if that’s possible, and the look on his face feels so utterly pathetic. 

James’s own heart is racing, but he does a good job of keeping a stoic expression. Seeing Jason all flustered like this is doing things to him, but he doesn’t want the man to know it. 

Not yet, at least.

He moves his hand down to Jason’s neck, and the man’s breath hitches. James’s fingers brush against Jason’s pulse point, and he can feel how the man’s heart is pounding frantically. 

Jason is desperately trying to keep himself composed, but he’s failing miserably. James smirks again, now sure that Jason’s fallen into his love trap.

“You’re so damn shaky, hm?” James practically purrs, his voice deep and low in a tone that would make anyone shiver. He runs small circles against Jason’s skin, and the other man has to restrain himself from leaning into the touch. God, this man was such a jerk.

The guitarist leans in close to his bassist, their lips a hair’s length away from each other just as it was a while ago. Devious blue eyes dart to Jason’s peachy lips, a hunger clear in them. 

Jason’s flustered expression is like an invitation—one that he’s so eager to accept, and yet, he wills himself not to.

James can’t help but admire how Jason looks like this, vulnerable and so desperate. It’s so much more enticing than any of the women he’s been with. 

His eyes dart to the other man’s lips again, and he can practically see how they would be plump and soft against his own. Would making out with him be gentle and soft, tender like long-lost lovers? Or would it be passionate and rough like they were crazed animals in a rut? He almost shudders at the thought of kissing Jason.

But no, that would ruin the fun. He wanted to drag this out and tease the poor defenceless man until he came running to him begging for more.

James cruelly pulls away, patting Jason on the cheek gently like he was a kid. He flashes the auburnette his signature grin.

“I’ll see you around, Jase.” 

Jason wants to snap his neck. How dare he, after all the tension, the buildup? Just leaving him like that, sauntering out the door? The audacity! But what had Jason truly expected? To receive a kiss, or more?

Left alone with his stupidly filthy thoughts and the lingering touch of his frontman, Jason sinks down to the ground, head in his hands. 

Fuck, he cursed internally. He knew he was in the deep end. 

With the closing of the door, James’s smile falters. Damn it all, seeing Jason so flustered like that had him on the edge of losing all his patience. 

He desperately wants to go back to the room and pin the man against the wall, make him moan under his fingers. God, the way he had trembled when he touched his face had set his veins on fire. But no, he had to remain strong. He can’t make any moves too early…

…Not when the game had just begun.

waitress jason inspired by all those crazy waitress bits james and jason had. ok bye.

Hi there!

I have a request based on some of the crazy comments I've read so many times. So, Lars (in 80s or 90s) somehow comes across the comments like 'It should be Lars, not Cliff' and becomes really upset. He is utterly devastated because of the hate he gets, one day James notices it (finds him crying after the rehearsal) and comforts him, so Lars gets all the TLC he deserves 🥰

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒/𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐒 - 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

warnings: angst, self-hating speech, comfort, Lars deserves better, James is actually nice

more under the cut :)

Lars is distraught. 

They’re right. It should have been him. Cliff should be there, up on stage. In the studio. In the photoshoots. He shouldn’t be here in Cliff’s place, hanging out with his bandmates and smiling and doing whatever it is that he does. 

It should have been him.

He tosses the magazine across his room and towards his door, burying his face in his hands. There’s a gentle ‘oof’ in place of the magazine hitting wood, and his head snaps up. James stands in his open doorway, magazine rumpled at his feet.

James is looking at Lars, and he can tell right away something’s going on. He walks over to Lars, and steps over the magazine. He sits next to his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Lars? You okay?” He asks, his voice softer than normal.

Lars just leans his head on James’ shoulder, keeping his eyes closed. He doesn’t want James to see him like this. Soft, emotional, crying…Lars was none of those things. He’s just…tired. He’s tired.

James glances at Lars, his grip tightening slightly. “Hey, talk to me. You know you can—”James starts, but cut off by Lars’ voice.

“Stop talking.” It’s soft, but demanding. Still, James stays silent, and just rubs small circles on Lars shoulders.

“It should have been me.”

James’ hand freezes for a moment, before he starts rubbing small circles again. “…What?” He finally asks, trying to seem as calm as possible. He’s never seen Lars like this before, never.

“It should have been me. Cliff should be here. With you guys. Not—”

Lars cuts himself off. His voice is thick, he’s pretty sure he’s going to cry and he really doesn’t want to but he can’t help it. He’s been holding this in for so long, and he doesn’t think he can do it anymore. All that emotional distress and frustration has built up, ready to explode.

Oh.

James is silent for a moment, as he processes everything, and it becomes apparent—Lars is crying. Something in James’ chest clenches, and he tightens his grip, pulling his best friend into his lap like a small child.

He holds Lars against him, and feels the Dane shake as he holds back from really letting go. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” James soothes in a comforting voice, pulling him against his chest, rubbing small circles on his back and running his fingers through the younger’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re still here.”

These words are enough to push Lars over the edge, and he buries his face in James’ chest, letting the first few sobs come out. It takes a moment for him to gain enough control to speak, and when he does, his voice is hoarse, thick. “I miss him so much. He should be here.”

Hearing these words makes James clutch Lars tighter, and his heart aches. “I know, I know. So do I, Lars. I miss him all the time, but he’d want you here. I need you here.” He’s practically cradling the younger man in his arms now, murmuring quietly, trying to soothe him.

Another sob wracks through Lars, and he’s clutching onto James’ shirt, still burying his face in his chest, in an attempt to shield himself from the world. He doesn’t care if he’s acting like a child right now, he needs this comfort and he needs James’ comfort, and god, he just misses Cliff so much.

He just keeps holding Lars, rubbing his back and murmuring words of support—even though it hurts. James misses their bassist as much as Lars does, but for him to see his friend so broken just breaks his heart. “I know, I know. I want him back too. I would switch places with him in a heartbeat, if I could.”

And there it is again. The ‘I would switch places’. It makes something snap in Lars, and he looks up at James, eyes red and face stained with tears. “Why don’t you?!” He pulls away from James’ shirt, his eyes red and puffy. His head is still resting against the younger man’s chest, and he lets out a shaky breath, dragging his hands over his face. 

“I’m sorry.”

James is taken aback by the sudden outburst, and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Why don’t I what..?” He says, tilting his head and studying Lars’s face. “You don’t have to apologise, man. It’s okay. You’re not yourself right now.” James gently wipes a tear on the side of Lars’ face. Just seeing his normally cheerful, happy-go-lucky friend like this feels so wrong.

James’ hand lingers on his cheek, and Lars closes his reddened eyes, leaning into his touch. He hates this. Hates that Cliff is gone. Hates that people think he should’ve been the one to go. And hates that because of this James is stuck having to comfort him. 

He lets out another shaky breath, opening his eyes again and looking up at James—and there’s a vulnerability in his eyes that’s rare coming from Lars. He never lets himself be this vulnerable, always keeping up the tough image, but he’s tired. He’s tired of keeping it all inside. And he wants to lash out, and scream and yell; that none of them should have gone, not Cliff, not any of them. But the expression on James’ face causes his heart to pang, and he looks away as fresh tears fall from his eyes.

James’ heart clenches again, and he gently grabs Lars’ chin, tilting his head so the Dane’s eyes are focused on him again. “Listen to me. Okay? I know you’re upset. I know.” James says, softly but firmly. “Don’t say that bullshit that you should’ve died instead, because that’s bullshit and you know it. Cliff loved you. We all do. We need you here. I need you here.”

“But everyone thinks, they all say that they wished I—“

James immediately cuts off Lars, his grip on his chin tightening ever so slightly. “I don’t want to hear that. That’s all lies and bullshit. Okay? You’re here, alive and kicking. And you’ll stay that way.”

Lars lets out a soft whimper, and James’ eyes soften as his friend tries to hold back another sob. The guitarist pulls the younger man closer to him, one of his hands coming up to gently card through the younger man’s hair. “I would never wish you’d died, okay? I wish none of this ever happened, but I wouldn’t change the fact that you’re alive. That you’re here with me right now, in my arms. Okay?”

Lars lets out a shaky breath, trying to focus on the soothing hand running through his hair. He hates this. He never cries, he’s not an emotional person, and yet here he is, breaking down in the arms of his best friend. 

A long moment of silence passes, all that can be heard in the room Lars’ shaky breathing and occasional sniffle. Then..

“Can you just stay with me?”

James immediately nods, tightening his grip on Lars. “Of course. I’m staying right here with you. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to.” He moves to lay down on the bed, pulling Lars down with him, and gently guides the other man’s head to lay on his chest.

Lars lets out a soft sigh, burying his face in James’ chest once more, and lets his eyes flutter close. The sound of James’ heartbeat is oddly comforting, and slowly the tension seems to melt out of his shoulders. “Don’t go.” He mumbles, his voice thick with tears.

“I’m not going anywhere.” James soothes gently, his hand moving to rest on the small of Lars’ back as he lets the other man bury his face in his chest. He rests his chin on the top of Lars’ head, and lets his mind wander to Cliff. He doesn’t doubt for a second that the bassist is probably laughing at them from the afterlife.

A soft, almost inaudible scoff of a chuckle comes from Lars at that thought, the first sign of emotion other than despair and misery. He can hear the smile in James’ voice, and he focuses on the sound of the other man’s steady heartbeat, using it to keep himself somewhat grounded. For a few moments, the only sounds are the faint voices of Jason and Kirk, as well as the ever soft thudding of James’ heart.

“Hey…what do you think Kirk and…the new kid are doing?”

A small chuckle comes from James, as he continues combing his fingers through Lars’ hair. “Probably plotting another prank. He’s been causing nothing but trouble since we picked the new kid up. I swear, they share a brain cell.”

Lars lets out another small scoff, shifting his head on James’ chest, closing his eyes. It’s moments like this where he wishes he could stay forever, wrapped up in the embrace of the older man’s arm, listening to the thrumming, comforting sound of his heartbeat. 

For the first time in a long while, Lars feels…safe. Protected. Which is ironic, considering it’s James he’s curled up against.

James doesn’t say anything, just continues combing his fingers through the younger man’s hair, the other resting on the small of his back. He can feel as Lars relaxes against him, becoming fully pliant as he just…lays there in his arms. James’ mind drifts to the days when it would’ve been Cliff in his arms instead, and he closes his own eyes, swallowing around the lump that’s formed in his throat.

Lars slowly lets his eyes close, and he focuses in on the soft thudding of James’ heartbeat. In the comfortable silence, the soft thumping is nearly a lullaby to Lars as he feels his eyes grow heavy—and he can’t remember the last time he’s felt this relaxed. He feels as the guitarist’s fingers move through his hair, the light touch like a gentle caress.

He hasn’t felt this peaceful in months. It’s almost enough for him to forget about the grief, about Cliff.

As sleep claims him, tugging his eyelids lower and lower with each slow blink, everything becomes white noise around him.

For a while he can only stare down at the younger man in his arms, his chest tightening. As it normally does when he sees Lars. 

Lars drifts off into sleep, the rise and fall of the younger man’s chest against his own is oddly soothing to James. The tension in his shoulders slowly starts to melt out, replaced by a warm, calming comfort. He lets out a sigh, looking down at Lars. The guy is a handful to deal with, but god knows he loves the little bastard.

James waits another minute, just to make sure the younger man is fully passed out, before speaking in a soft voice. “I miss you, Cliff.”

And it’s as if he’s expecting a response, even a half-assed one. But of course the silence hangs thick in the air, an uncomfortable, suffocating blanket over him. Despite this, James continues. 

“I know you’re probably over there, laughing at us. Making fun of us.”

Cliff would have found all of this downright hysterical.

He can easily imagine the older man’s response if he was there. Are you two cuddling without me? I’m hurt.

The thought brings a soft, sad smile to his lips. He misses the bassist. He misses his best friend. 

The silence that follows, save from Lars’ soft breathing and the faint voices of Kirk and Jason downstairs, seems to confirm that he’s alone.

But James drifts off to dreamland, he swears he can hear a whisper right by his ear, just faintly, almost as if it’s a memory long forgotten. Cliff’s voice, gentle as the breeze, a caress against his cheek lighter than a feather.

I know.

And maybe, just maybe, everything might be alright.

so I’m taking a little break

just for a little while maybe until about end of January (to catch up on requests and other stuff on my writing) but I’ll be back before February :)

thanks for all your support and stuff i love you guys a lot 🗣️🙏🙏

expect 4 or more fics to be published when I’m back :))

telling my kids kurt cobain was jesus christ

first request I’m asking for anyone so bear with me..

jason gets a new pair of the tightest and most flattering jeans known to mankind and gets james super hard before and during a show (hence Jason getting the best dick of his life afterwards)

thank you for your patience!! here’s your request :) sorry that it moves so fast!

What He Deserves

1989

CW - groping, hotel sex, slight sweat kink but it’s not brought up much and also very slight corruption kink kind of idk

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that Jason got to stride around in those ridiculously tight jeans and tease James like that. Everyone could see the perfect outline of Jason’s deliciously plump ass— he was showing it off like some sort of slut when he had no place to. Jason belonged to James and James only, so what the hell was he thinking wearing the sluttiest pants known to man?

James huffs in frustration. He walks behind his boyfriend, eyes trying to look anywhere but Jason’s plush ass, inevitably failing and giving in several times. He tells himself he can’t be blamed and that it’s the Newkid’s fault for being too damn sexy. The brunette walking in front of him is completely oblivious to James’ hungry eyes, thankfully. If he had known the blonde was eyefucking him into next week, he would’ve surely popped a boner. And god knows his black jeans would only accentuate his thick erection instead of restraining it.

Eventually, the boys made it to the steps leading to the stage though James could’ve sworn it took about ten years. The crowd cries out with excitement as the lights dim and the background music comes to a halt. James makes sure he sneaks a quick squeeze to a confused Jason before a quiet yelp of surprise emits from his chapped lips. A glare, and the boys finally haul themselves on the wooden stage and prepare for the opening chords of Creeping Death; a crowd favorite.

If Jason had to describe the show with one word, he’d choose tense. His lover shot him one too many angry looks for Jason to shrug it off as just James being James. Not to mention the curious spark hiding behind those piercing, blue eyes. Not only was James looking at him with fury, but he gazed at the bassist with lust. Pure, unadulterated, lust. Jason’s limp bulge caught his eye more times than he could count on two hands. Don’t get him wrong— James remembered how his lover’s hard cock looked. But god, James would be lying if he said he wasn’t day dreaming about how beautiful it would look, hot and heavy in his hands. Or in his mouth.

James wasn’t religious. But he thanked god his guitar covered his bulge. Thanked him for fate gracing him with the reality of being a rhythm guitarist so he wouldn’t have to rip a blistering solo while all he can think about is ass and cock. Jason’s ass and cock, to be exact. And, seriously, fuck Jason for making the guitarist feel like he was a horny teenager all over again while he was in front of thousands of fans.

It was all because of those stupid pants. Those stupidly hot, sexy, utterly delicious pants. If James went insane, he had Jason and his slutty clothing to blame. So of course he was just as pissed and more importantly, just as horny as he exited the stage. The screams of the audience rung in his ears lowly. Nothing but background noise to him as his mind wandered into dangerous boner territory. For fucks sake, he was still in public. Seems like his dick or brain didn’t care enough.

The travel back to the hotel was similar to the walk to the stage, except this time ten times harder and ten times longer. Double whammy. Not too great for James, but he’s sure whatever god is torturing him is having a good laugh. Every time Jason ends up in front of him, whether that be walking to the car, out of the car and into the hotel, or just standing in front of him, James’ eyes are glued to his ass. If he were a little more sober or a little less head over fucking heels for his boyfriend’s body, he would feel a little more shame for his perversion.

Now he lays in his shitty hotel bed, his entire body exhausted. Except for his cock. Because James was a pervert and helplessly addicted to Jason. The anger and jealously had mellowed over the hours and faded into a need to take care of his Jason, so surely he couldn’t be so bad— right? He was just a man. James sighs, half hard, and looks at Jason.

Jason lays beside him, still clothed in his stage wear. Everyone knew Jason sweat buckets on stage and his clothes were clear evidence. His damp black clothes may have been a turn off to others because of this, but it only made James want to come closer. James’ gaze grabs the other boy’s attention and he turns his head to look at his lover. Jason lazily blinks and pays him a lopsided smile.

“..We sounded good, yeah? Why were you so.. weird earlier.”

James scoffs at that.

“You really wanna know?”

Jason nods.

The blonde stares into those beautiful eyes of Jason’s before his thick fingers slither up to the bassist’s wrist to take control of his sweaty wrist. Slowly, James brings Jason’s hand to the guitarist’s half hard dick and Jason only takes a split second to notice that James’ isn’t soft. Jason looks at James with those angelic, nearly innocent eyes and silently shifts closer to his boyfriend.

“..Have you been like this all night?” Jason whispers, his hand still resting upon James’ growing erection.

“God, you have no fuckin’ idea—“

James is cut off by a desperate kiss, and he thinks he could just float into heaven with how delicious Jason’s lips are. He’s been waiting for this all night, damnit, and now that he has Jason all to himself, he’s not sure how long he will be able to control himself. The bassist kissing him begins to slowly move his roughed up palm and fingers up and down James’ shaft. James fights the urge to growl into the kiss and ruts into Jason’s hand like he’ll die if he doesn’t get more friction right now. The angelic brunette obliges to the silent request for more friction; his hand slides on James’ cock with more pressure and feels himself harden.

Suddenly, James pulls away, heaving. Jason looks at him with a hint of confusion in his eyes, but continues to rub him through his jeans.

“Do you know how much you’ve been teasing me tonight? Huh?”

Jason pauses. Teasing him? He hasn’t even spoke to him except for the couple interactions they’ve had on stage.

“Those fucking slutty pants you have on? They’ve been driving me crazy. I’ve wanted to fuck you since the beginning of the night.”

Oh.

Jason blinks. Then blushes. He hadn’t necessarily planned to tease his boyfriend, but knowing that he probably looked like a chunk of meat to a hungry tiger to his boyfriend all night got him twitching in his pants. Were they really that tight?

“Fuck.. that’s why you’ve been so hungry? You’re makin’ me horny too, yknow.”

James growls and smashes their lips together once again before his hands fly to Jason’s tight pants, squeezing his bulge before ripping them off along with his boxers in a single swift movement. Jason lets out a stifled squeak as the cool air hits his full erection, feeling exposed to the completely clothed James on top of him. The brunette tugs on his frontman’s shirt, silently begging him to remove it. James gets the memo and breaks the kiss before throwing off his shirt and beginning to unzip and undo his own jeans. Jason silently thanks his past self for buying those god forsaken jeans when he sees his boyfriend’s cock be ripped out of those tight boxers, standing proud in all of its glory.

“Jesus.. almost forgot how fuckin’ big you are.. Gonna fuck me with that?”

He already knows the answer to that. And so does James, considering he’s already reaching for the lube and popping the squeaky cap open to squirt a thick glob onto his calloused fingertips. Jason watches him, squirming a bit in anticipation. His hole shudders at just the sight of the cold lube hitting James’ skin. It only takes a few seconds after for James to plunge his coated fingers inside. The bassist yelps from the intrusion and grips the sheets and James is quick to shush him. Jason’s glossy eyes meet his lovers and they share a lustful gaze as he’s worked open.

“‘M gonna fuck ya so hard, so good.. just you wait..”

Shifting in his spot, Jason whines as another finger enters him. And another. And another.. and he’s stuffed full.

“Do it now, fuck— don’t need more prep, just— get it in!” Jason pleads.

How could James say no to that?

James lines himself up with the soaked hole presented in front of him like a beautifully wrapped present and grips the smaller boy’s hips before rutting into him and filling him to the halt with a single thrust. Jason nearly screams, but James is quick to cover his mouth with his hand. With teary eyes, Jason looks to his lover again before James starts a brutal pace fucking into his hole with reckless abandon. Sobs try to escape from the restraint that is James’ hand, but fail. If James could change it, he’d let Jason cry his heart out and moan as loud as he pleased. But not tonight, not here— they had to be quiet. The steady squeak of the bed wasn’t much help to their case.

Hips collied with hips as the scent of sex filled the air. Both let out muffled cries and moans of pleasure, minutes passing by, feeling like they were merely seconds. After the blonde was sure Jason was done trying to scream from the pleasure and pain, he removes his hand. James’ chest heaves up and down as he fucks into his boyfriend before he leans down to bring his mouth to Jason’s ear.

“You’re such a dirty fuckin’ boy. Showing off your ass like that, all night. You deserve this, you deserve to get used by me. You are mine. Mine. Got that?”

A whimper, and Jason spasms around James. His hole clenches and unclenches as his cock throbs heavy. A sticky pearl of precum begins to form, and Jason knows that when he cums he’s gonna have the most earth-shattering orgasm he’s ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Everything with James was always good because he was hot and ungodly experienced but it went to another level when he was pent up. Not only were they both hornier and needier than they had been in months, the whole situation felt like a plot out of a porn movie you’d find at a run-down movie store with a underpaid worker who told you to fuck right off.

Jason was getting that fuck.

He loved it.

James huffed and tilted his head back, his mane of soft blonde hair resting on his shoulders as his cock dug into his sub’s prostate. By now, Jason was in tears from the unforgiving pressure on his prostate and knew he wouldn’t last long. Hell, he never lasted long— but it was particularly embarrassing now when he was about to cum untouched in just a couple minutes because his boyfriend was too damn hot and his dick was too damn thick. And when he opened his mouth to warn James about the fact he was about to spill his load all over his newly washed Metallica shirt, James responded by spitting in his mouth.

That was it.

Jason cried out and splattered cum all over himself as he tightened around James. Salty tears dripped down his soft, pink cheeks as James followed shortly after. Hot seed filled him to the brim as the beast of a man above him growled as his hips shook and balls tightened. He looked absolutely divine— but it was hard to focus on anything, even if it was as beautiful as James, when he was having the best orgasm he’s ever had after barely any foreplay, a couple minutes of sex and not a single touch to his dick.

Pathetic, but, he smiles.

James pulls out and sees the breath taking scene below him.

They’re finally both satisfied, because Jason got what he deserved.

this took nearly two hours help

Ok it is december 1st.