It’s Not A Want. It’s A NEED

Submitted by Anon

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐊/𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 - 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲

warnings: drug usage, drinking to cope, first time(s), anal sex, sad sex

nsfw under the cut :)

Jason had drunk himself into a stupor. Both to forget the hazing from his bandmates and to numb the pain of being their punching bag, both metaphorically and physically.

That night’s show was a disaster in his eyes—his bass had mysteriously gone out during “My Friend of Misery”, preventing his beautiful bass solo from getting played. That, coupled with the fact that James and Lars nitpicked everything he did on stage after the show.

His eyes glazed over, slumped over on the couch as he thought. When he got drunk, he wasn’t boisterous like James, he wasn’t a gossiper like Lars or plain stupid like Kirk. He was quiet. Reserved. Lost in thought and sat to the side in thoughtful silence. 

Alone in his hotel room drinking a 6-pack all by himself, joint resting on an ashtray. Millions and millions of thoughts filled his head. Like a hot air balloon that threatened to burst, he quelled his thoughts with another puff of his joint. 

You could always rely on a good beer and joint combo to blank out any bad thoughts. 

He’s getting through the night already, he can’t tell what time it is but it sure as hell felt like forever. Jason had the windows open, the soft, cool wind blowing in, mixing with the smell of pot and the beer laden on his breath. 

When he’s finally unwinding, he’s coiled taut again by the sharp rapping against his foot. He places down his fourth beer of the night and stubs out his blunt, standing to open the door. 

And there stood the root sources of his own self-destructive act. 

“Can I help you guys?” He asked, slurring his words ever so slightly, door half-open. He knows he looks like a mess, his hair sticking up, eyes bloodshot and clearly zooted. The smell of weed drifts from his room into the hallway, and Jason’s eyes strain at the brightness in the hallway.

“Oh..uh…” started Lars. Jason tilted his head, waiting for whatever he had to say. “We were just wondering what you were doing since you left the afterparty so early.”

Jason shrugs. “Wasn’t in the mood.” James scoffs softly. “Obviously in the mood to drink and smoke by yourself.” In no mood to entertain them, he raised his eyebrows over half-lidded eyes. 

“Now you know what I was doing. G’night.” 

“Hey, wait—“

Before he can shut his door, a shoe blocks it in the last second. Jason holds back the urge to groan. “What?” He says annoyedly, opening the door a fraction to peek out. 

“Listen, you need to stop acting like a spoiled child. It isn’t our fault your bass went out.” James says defensively. Jason wants to roll his eyes. Wants to yell at him and say that it was, that he had planned it all, that he was the mastermind. But even in his inebriated state, he retained his sobriety and retained his temper.

“Uhuh.” Was all he had to say, rubbing one of his reddened eyes. “Jesus Christ…whatever, get mad at us. See if we care.” He saw James and Lars storm off in the other direction, no doubt speaking ill of him behind his back and planning their next “prank”. And as he moved to close his door, he was stopped again, but not by force this time.

“Wait.” 

He almost wanted to cry out in frustration. But he didn’t. He couldn’t be temperamental. He couldn’t. After all, he was supposed to be the calm one. 

Kirk stood outside his door—previously overshadowed by the two biggest egos in the hallway, Jason barely noticed his presence. But now it was the two of them. 

“..Yeah..?” Jason couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice. Kirk was always the most passive among the other three with his hazing, if one could even call it that. Sure, he participated in the beginning, but he got over his grief, and acknowledged Jason as another person with feelings. Not like he was a puppet built to destroy like James and Lars thought he was. 

“Can I come in? I just..I wanna talk.” Kirk stood in front of the gap in the door now, eyes locking with Jason’s. Against his better judgement, Jason opened the door. Kirk was let in, and Jason closed the door behind him, making sure to lock it. 

“I’m sorry about what happened…I didn’t know-“ “It’s fine. It’s not like you would’ve done anything like this. I think.” Kirk awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot. It hurt slightly to hear Jason speak like that.. “You can sit.”

Kirk flopped next to Jason, the two sitting and facing the open balcony window. The moonlight shone down with her smile, her crescent smile familiar to Jason after nights being alone and contemplating his decisions. 

“The guys don’t know what they’re doing. And I don’t take responsibility for their actions. But they’ll understand, not now, but maybe when they’re 40.” Kirk’s words are almost comforting. 

Almost. 

But it hurts. The reassurance of their realisation only when they’ve seen the world and what it’s for hurts. Why couldn’t they have their moment of clarity now? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to Jason. But nothing was ever fair since Cliff passed. 

“It’s okay.” He mumbled. Kirk rested his head against Jason’s shoulder. It’s an intimate gesture—it’s not playful like when they’re in interviews or posing in photos. It’s like Kirk sees him. Sees through him and sees him right to his core.

“I’m sorry. About what I did. And what I didn’t do to stop them.” Jason wants to laugh bitterly. He knows that Kirk won’t do anything to stop them, not now and not anytime soon. As much as he’d like to believe his words, they’re as real as the groupies he hears them bang every night. 

They sit in silence. Contemplating. As if they had the same thought: “Jason’s suffering.” They share the same mind, even if it’s for a split second. 

It’s the closeness of Kirk to him, the way his warmth spreads and seeps through his clothes onto the cold husk of himself. He wants to believe those little white lies. He wants to believe that this would all stop. But how can one fool themself so easily? 

Kirk lifts his head and looks up at Jason. Jason looks back down at him. All this thinking and sitting in silence sobers him up further. Having deep thoughts drunk and high was fun, till it was with someone else. He always needed to retain control, before he let anything he didn’t mean to say aloud slip out. 

And when their gazes lock, the warmth in the eyes of Kirk’s enveloping the stony greyish blue in Jason’s, he wants to melt. Kirk looks at him with such tenderness. One unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. 

And before he can pull away his gaze, Kirk leans upwards, a hand caressing Jason’s jaw tenderly as his lips meet Kirk’s. Nothing properly registers in the younger man’s mind till Kirk slips a hand through his mussed curls, eyes closed. Once again, the loving action foreign, but not…unwelcome? 

Jason accept the gesture, albeit tentatively. What if Lars and James set him up to this? But it couldn’t be, that moment was too real and too raw to be a prank. You could fake depth but you couldn’t fake sincerity. 

And Kirk kissed him with all the sincerity of a long-lost lover finding his other half. 

Jason’s on his back now, hair sprawled out like an auburn halo, and Kirk thinks that he must be God’s favourite angel. 

So Kirk takes off each article of clothing all gentle and all tender, like he would shatter Jason if he were too rough. And as much as he hated being treated like a fragile little thing, it wasn’t derogatory with Kirk. It was all worshipful and admiration. 

Kirk maps out the plane expanses of Jason’s body with his hands, tracing each beauty mark and contour with his hands. Kirk was never like this with Lars, who liked it all teeth and friction and crazed lovemaking. It was a nice change of pace from the Dane. 

When Kirk’s hands slip lower and lower, Jason, always a loud presence on stage, let out a soft whine. Jason, who was all growls and guttural vocals, let himself a moment of vulnerability with Kirk. Fondling him now, the auburn man is all breathy gasps and pathetic little whines. It eggs Kirk on, and Jason mewls while bucking up into his hand. 

His hand moves faster, and they kiss again, as tender and loving as the first. Jason grants him that, that small sliver of his true side, and Kirk savours it like a drug. Jason gasps and writhes and moans Kirk’s name, and he drinks it all in. With Lars, he was the one getting boned six days from Sunday, but now he got to give Jason what he always wanted to receive. 

When Jason’s spend coats his hand, the man moans so sweetly. It’s oh so damn intimate and genuine, and it’s not pornstar-eqsue and fake like with groupies. It’s not like the animalistic growls with Lars. Sugar to his ears, icing of sin dripping off an angelcake. 

He strips himself down to match Jason, and he glanced up for permission. To take him. To have him. To show him how much he cared and adored him. Jason sat up. 

“I’ve never done this before—been with a guy, I mean.” The hesitation is clear, but Kirk gives him a reassuring smile. “I’ll make it good. You just have to trust me.” Trust Jason does, settling into his back. Kirk finds the lube easily, abandoned and barely used. Jason could find girls easily, but what wasn’t easy was letting them in during this dark period of time. 

Jason trusts him, and that’s all he needs before he’s got his fingers slicked up and has Jason’s legs spread. 

“Deep breaths, okay? It’s gonna feel weird, tell me if I need to stop.” One lubed fingers pushes past the tight ring of muscle, and Jason groans. It’s not uncomfortable or painful, but it’s a unique sensation. Kirk thrusts this finger in and out gently, and Jason lets himself be pliant. 

“I’m gonna add another, is that okay?” Kirk caressed the side of Jason’s face, his middle finger ready. Jason nodded, and in slipped the second. There was a slight stretch that had Jason squirming, not exactly unwelcome, though. It felt unique and almost good—but it all changed when Kirk crooked the ends of his fingers by a few degrees, brushing past a spot that made him see stars. 

“Fuck—“, he choked on a moan and his body curved upward. Kirk stilled, concern welling in his eyes. “What..what was that?” “That was your g-spot. Let me find that again , and you’ll know why it’s called that.”

When Kirk crooks his fingers further, his knuckles rub against the rubbery ball of nerves that set Jason’s loins aflame. He keens, toes curling as he grips the sheets. Kirk smiles and continues his assault on that spot, stars sparkling behind his eyelids. “How does that feel?”

“Kirk—that’s..oh, fuck-!” Jason moans, the familiar pressure building in his belly, and he’s sure he might come just from that. It’s all so overwhelmingly good that his mind spins, already muddled from the beers. Kirk set a steady rhythm, curling and scissoring his fingers in a way that had Jason keening. 

“Good?” The older man asks. It felt good to make Jason feel good, the bassist recently seemed to be down in the dumps after shows, no matter how high-energy he was on stage. “So good—“ he choked out, eyes squeezed shut as breathy moans escaped his parted lips. Precome pearled at his tip, dripping down the underside of his cock.

When Kirk retracts his fingers, he whines at the loss. “Why..” he asks, question left unspoken but understood. “I want you to come on my cock.” Flushing at the obscene words, Jason’s pale face went pink in a matter of seconds. How cute, Kirk thought. 

Squeezing a generous amount of lube, he slicked up his length, his clean hand pushing the hair out of Jason’s face. “You’re gorgeous, Jase.” He complimented, and Jason scoffs in embarrassment. 

Kirk lines himself up with Jason’s hole, and looks up at him for confirmation. The younger man nods, biting his lip. Kirk’s cock prods at him, before the head slips in. He lets Jason adjust, watching with care. 

Jason bites down a cry, Kirk softly rocking his hips and working Jason open further. It felt like he was being torn into two, unused to the stretch that came with having a dick up his ass. “Oh, fuuuck—“

Kirk’s hips stuttered as he felt the flutter of Jason’s hole around his dick, and it had Kirk gripping Jason’s hips tightly. Jason looked his hottest like this, back bowed in ecstasy and his ass stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey with Kirk’s dick. The elder carefully draped himself over Jason and tilted up his chin gently, leaning in against his chest and tilting his head so that he could look into his eyes. 

As he fucked him slow and gentle, they kept eye contact, Kirk analysing every expression Jason made. His face scrunched up, brow glistening with sweat.

Kirk was hitting Jason’s sweet spot dead in with each smartly calculated roll of his hips. Jason’s prostate felt raw, and it was all so much, it took everything not to come right then and there. Kirk gave him a particularly well-angled thrust, cock hitting Jason’s prostate like a bullseye. Kirk moans at his sheer tightness, gripping his thighs tight.

Kirk’s dick rubbed against it deliciously as he withdrew, only to slam in and nail it again, right on the dot. It made Jason arch his back into a taut bow against Kirk as the sparks lit up every nerve ending like lightning.

It was never-ending pleasure, and Jason didn’t even notice his orgasm, taking him by surprise when he spilled onto his chest. Kirk didn’t stop, still gently fucking into him and chasing his own pleasure now that Jason was satiated. With the younger man clenching around him like a vice, it was hard to continue past a few thrusts before he fills Jason, insides all warm and gooey. 

They lay there for a while, their panting filling the room. Their bodies are warm against the cool midnight air—it’s so serene and feels unreal. Everything blurs together. Their bodies and their passion and their shared intimacy under the gaze of the moon. 

Tender and soft, Jason’s curled against Kirk’s chest with his body painted with his and Kirk’s come, but he doesn’t mind. Kirk has an arm draped across his waist, breathing in the faint pot smell from Jason’s hair. 

Jason knows that Kirk’ll be gone in the morning, back in Lars’ bed like this encounter never happened. He was bound to Lars, and to leave him for Jason was unforgivable. This little affair was meant to be forgotten in the morning. To never be spoken of again, despite their passions for one another.

Kirk and Jason. Jason and Kirk. In another world they’d be inseparable. In another world, they’d be lovers. In another world, they wouldn’t have met the way they had. But God hates Jason, that’s why he makes him suffer. 

The one who suffers through it all, is God’s most beautiful angel. He is beautiful and he is pained, bound to fall far from God’s grace when the time comes. Bound to slip through Kirk’s fingers soon. 

So they’d let themselves have this. This tiny sliver of heaven a sanctuary to them, they, who are not granted it.

so I’m taking a little break

just for a little while maybe until about end of January (to catch up on requests and other stuff on my writing) but I’ll be back before February :)

thanks for all your support and stuff i love you guys a lot 🗣️🙏🙏

expect 4 or more fics to be published when I’m back :))

Ok it is december 1st.

🍓

hey vic, i really like your writings and i'm here to request something. so, could you write about hetstaine ?? 'm thinking about fwb hetstaine, they were fighting over something and james was about to leave dave, but dave stopped him from leaving him, shaking and desperate. it's like a they fight and they make out afterwards kind of thing, thank you tho!

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒/𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 - 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞

warnings: fwb, arguing, making up & making out, makeup sex, anal sex, anal fingering

nsfw under the cut :)

This is stupid. 

They’re arguing over something they’ve both already forgotten, and the whole situation is spiralling out of control. Hurtful words are thrown carelessly, angry shouts fill the once comforting silence. 

Dave wonders how it all came down to this.

Him and James had been friends with benefits. No strings attached, just casual fucking like good friends would. Only Dave’s let James too close into his heart, because the blonde knows all the sore spots to poke at to make things worse.

Dave should’ve never agreed to this in the first place. He should’ve cut it off the second he felt that knot in his stomach twist anxiously whenever James would smile. 

Now he’s here, in his apartment, yelling in his bandmate’s face and being yelled at in return. And Dave hates how he can’t ignore the way the tears in James’ eyes are tugging at his heartstrings.

Dave steps back to take a breath and wipe away the few tears stubbornly falling down his cheeks. 

He glances over James, eyes landing on the bruise now forming on the blonde’s cheek and guilt washes over him instantly. He’s never lost control like that before, but it’s like a flip was switched inside his brain and all the rage and frustration and heartbreak all just came bursting out all at once. 

Dave’s heart clenches at the sight. 

“God, James, I’m-“

He takes another step towards James, hand reaching out but he stops himself. He wants to hold James, wants to comfort him and tell him how sorry he is, but he doesn’t think his touch would be welcomed. Not with the way James is now staring at him as if he’s the antichrist incarnate.

“I didn’t mean to-“ Dave stammers out anyway. James cuts him off with an unamused scoff and Dave flinches at the cold glare.

“Save it, Dave. Just….” James huffs, pushing his bangs out of his face with frustration as he tries to find his words. “Just don’t.”

Dave shuts his mouth and clenches his teeth together. He wants to protest, wants to apologize and grovel and beg for forgiveness, but James’ expression is hard and unforgiving. And Dave knows he’s pushed past the point of no return and he’s just going to have to deal with the inevitable consequences.

There’s another moment of silence as James rubs his temples. Dave doesn’t dare to speak. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” James mutters after a while, so low that it’s almost a whisper. Dave’s heart sinks and James doesn’t even need to elaborate any further because Dave already knows exactly what he means. 

Dave’s body goes cold. 

“James… No, wait, come on,” Dave whispers. He moves quick to James’ side again, fingers grasping at thin air when he’s met with a step back. 

James shakes his head and sighs out a shaky breath. The tears are falling freely from his eyes now and it hurts Dave so much just to see how broken the other looks. It’s all his fault.

“You said this was casual,” James says and Dave’s not quite sure if it’s a statement or an accusation, “Neither of us were supposed to get hurt. You promised, Dave. You promised.”

“James, please. Just , listen to me-.” Dave reaches for James again, hands landing on soft skin. He carefully caresses the blonde’s face, making sure to avoid the spot he knows will bruise tomorrow. 

James doesn’t shy away from the touch, but he doesn’t lean into it either. It feels distant, cold, unfamiliar.

“What else is there to say?” James asks, voice rough and low. But Dave catches the brief flash of something in his eyes. Something tender and vulnerable and Dave just wants to wrap his arms around the other and never let go.  

“James, I….” Dave swallows thickly, finding comfort by gently rubbing his thumb across James’ jaw. “I’m sorry. I won’t- I won’t lose my temper like that ever again, I promise. I’m so, sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

Dave lets his thumb run across James’ cheek, wiping away the tears. It doesn’t get the response Dave wants, it doesn’t elicit the same laugh and grin he’s used to seeing whenever he’d do small gestures like this but he can’t bring himself to pull away. 

“Don’t leave me,” he repeats, “I love you too much to let you go.”

James’ expression crumbles but he doesn’t push Dave away. One of his hands tentatively moves up and Dave holds his breath as fingers clutch at the edge of his shirt, pulling his body forward. He tries to ignore the way his heart leaps in his chest as he brings his other hand up to gently cup the other’s face while his shirt is now gripped with two sweaty palms. 

James leans his face into Dave’s hand, closing his eyes before letting out a small sob. 

“You can’t just say that,” James says in a shaky voice, so vulnerable, and Dave’s never seen him like this before.

Dave’s heart breaks all over again but he keeps his hands gentle and soft on James’ face, thumbs softly wiping away the tears. He leans closer, their foreheads bumping together. He can smell his own cologne on James’ skin.

Dave tries not to cling on too tight in case James changes his mind and pulls away. 

“Don’t leave me.”

“It’s not fair,” James mutters, his grip tightening on Dave’s shirt. He opens his eyes and Dave almost loses himself in the watery blue of them. “I never asked for… I didn’t want…” James chokes on his words a few times before he finally manages to say what he meant. 

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”

Dave’s breath hitches and he moves his hands to cradle the other’s face in his hands, heart racing and throat dry. There’s an overwhelming need to close the space between them and Dave fights every urge to just lean down and kiss James like he’s been wanting to do for months. 

Dave can’t take his eyes off of James, drinking in the sight of those eyes and the way the blonde glances down at his lips every few seconds. It’s taboo to the both of them. They’d made it clear that they would never kiss.

Dave tries to find his voice, but all that comes out is a strangled whimper.

James must see the desperation in Dave’s eyes because Dave knows he looks completely helpless and vulnerable. But he doesn’t give a damn right now because the person he had been yearning for for over a year was standing right in front of him, looking at him like he actually meant something more than just a good time. 

Dave’s thumbs gently caress the other’s cheeks. Fingers move across the skin, tracing the fading marks and lines and blemishes he’s grown so familiar with over the months they’ve spent together. James lets him, leaning into every touch like a cat to its favourite person.

James’ hands slowly move to the back of Dave’s neck, fingers tangling into the soft blonde hair. The hair he used to pull and tug on without a care in the world while he held Dave down to the mattress and fucked him like there was no tomorrow. And James knows all the buttons to push and all the spots to touch and all the words to use on Dave to make him shiver and whimper and moan. 

But right now, the only thing James can think of doing is holding on.

“I hate you,” James mutters after a few silent minutes, but he doesn’t pull away. 

If anything, the grip on Dave’s hair tightens and James uses it to tug his head upwards, forcing Dave to look up at him. Dave’s fingers run down, tracing the outline of James’ chin and his throat and the top of his collarbones. 

Tanned hands move to the other’s hips, hesitating for a moment, before pulling him closer. Their lips almost touch.

“Then hate me some more,” Dave replies, his voice barely above a whisper as he feels James’ hands grip the his hips, pulling him even closer and James’ breath stutters. James’ hands wander to Dave’s shirt, bunching up the fabric in tight fists as his eyes scan the ginger shakily, anger and so many more emotions swirling in those beautiful blue eyes. 

“Hate me if you’re going to let me love you.”

Dave doesn’t know who leans in first but a second passes and James’ mouth crashes against his lips. It’s rough and messy and their teeth clang against each other more than once but Dave can’t find the energy to care. He kisses back with just as much force, hands reaching up to clutch the other’s jaw as they both try to reclaim each other’s mouths in a bruising kiss. 

“I hate you so much,” James mutters between kisses as he holds him right against him. They’ve said many times that this wasn’t allowed between them—they were just friends. But now it felt so right.

Dave can’t help the quiet whimper that rises when he feels James pull him down by the hips until their lower bodies are pressed together tightly. He desperately pushes his tongue into the other’s mouth, letting his own hands roam down, grabbing and pulling and just trying to bring as much contact as possible. 

He’s got James’ lower lip between his teeth, biting and sucking the skin as his tongue invades the others mouth. His body is aching to be pinned down and touched and marked with the familiar bruises the other has left on him countless times before.

They collapse on the bed, limbs tangled together and chests heaving as they finally pull back to catch their breath. Dave lets his hands settle on James’ hips, fingers tracing the sharp jut of his hip bone, desperate to feel as much of James as he can before it’s taken away from him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says once his breathing has come down to a steady pace. He gently pushes the bangs out of James’ face and he can’t help a small smile when James turns his face to lean into his touch once more.

“It’s okay,” James tells him and Dave feels his heart skip a beat at the small, sad smile on the blonde’s face. 

The expression quickly dissolves back into a scowl and Dave can’t help the nervous shudder that goes through him, but his heart skips a beat again when James crawls on top of him and pins his wrists above his head. Dave looks up at the blonde above him wide-eyed and breathless.

“You’re insufferable,” James mutters as his hands release their grip on Dave’s wrists and move to tug at his shirt, “And stubborn. And annoying. And stupid. And—” he yanks the fabric up, discarding it somewhere on the floor. Dave lets out a surprised noise as he’s flipped over onto his stomach and he can’t help arching his back at the way James’ hands run down his spine.

Dave’s breath stutters, his mind already fuzzy and he can barely focus. He almost misses the way James moves away from him but he can’t miss the sound of a bottle uncapping and it makes his head swim with dizzying thoughts. 

“Stop being so difficult,” James mutters behind him and Dave can feel his breath against his ear. Fingers tug at the belt buckle of his jeans, pushing the fabric down and off his thighs. Dave lets out a whimper that turns into broken moan as he feels James kiss the back of his neck, sucking the skin there before nipping it with his teeth. 

Dave grips the sheets underneath him to ground himself.

Dave can feel the familiar buzz in his brain and the pleasant weight of James’ body against him, pressing him down into the bed as he mouths against the back of his shoulder and Dave’s fingers clench the sheets tighter. He wants to say something but the only sounds he can make are strangled moans and whimpers.

Dave feels James’ hands grip his hips hard and he lets out a shuddering breath, waiting impatiently for the touch he craves. 

Dave tries pushing his hips up into the other’s hands, a low whine leaving his throat when there’s a rough tug to his hips and he’s pushed down onto the bed.

“Hey, hey, be patient,” James breathes in his ear and Dave can’t help but let out another strangled noise. He turns his face to press in into the sheets beneath him, breathing through his nose to slow down his racing heart.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Dave says, choking out the words in between moans and sighs and cries when James’ fingers press into all the right places while the other mouthens at the back of his neck. Dave can’t keep still under James’ touch, shifting his hips as he presses back against him and he relishes in the way the blonde groans and curses in his ear.

“You’re mine, y’know that?” James mutters against Dave’s neck and Dave responds with a moan, pushing his hips back against the other.

“James… Please…” Dave barely manages to croak out, his voice shaky and he doesn’t even care if it sounds desperate. He’s always been impatient and needy when it comes to this, and James always loves to take his time.

James’ hands slide along Dave’s thighs, teasing and coaxing out soft mewls and gasps. And with James’ lips and hot breath caressing his ear, Dave feels every touch like electricity against his skin.

”Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?” James growls, hands gripping the ginger’s hips. Dave arches his back into the touch and lets out another choked moan.

“Stop holding back,” James mutters and Dave only just realizes that he’s been biting his lip to muffle his moans, “I want to hear you. I need to hear you.”

The ginger merely whimpers again, feeling slick, calloused fingers prod at his hole. He bites down a shudder as James starts with one finger, curling and uncurling it in a way that has Dave holding onto the pillow for dear life. Then he adds another, scissoring the two, spreading his fingers out in him. Then a third, and Dave’s drooling into his pillow, clenching his pillow so tight his knuckles are white.

“You’ve always got to make things so difficult for yourself,” James mumbles as his fingers work Dave open slowly, stretching him with gentle touches and Dave wants to cry out, wants to tell James to just hurry up and just push into him, but all he can do is gasp and moan. “Always gotta push people away even though you actually want them to stay”

Dave’s vision swims as James’ fingers move inside him. His head is swimming with lust and need, but there’s a small pang of pain in his heart.

Fingers run down his back, blunt nails scratching down his spine and Dave lets out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut when he feels James’ tongue run across his shoulder, teeth nipping the bare skin. 

Dave feels himself coming undone before they’ve even really started.

“You say that a lot,” Dave mutters in shaky breath and he can practically feel James roll his eyes. James chuckles, low and rough and Dave feels himself shiver when a hand gently pushes on the top of his head. 

“Bite the pillow,” James mutters against his ear and the words make Dave clench around nothing but the feeling of James' body pressing against his.

Dave bites the pillow so hard he’s worried he might just tear through the fabric. He moans and whines and shudders as his body is pushed and pulled and twisted and rearranged on the sheets in every way James wanted. Soft caresses and touches are replaced with sharp nails and rough hands and hot kisses and bites that leave marks behind on pale skin. 

Dave’s mind is swirling and he has no idea when he lost all semblance of control and how he ended up with his legs over James’ shoulder and his head spinning as he clings to the bedsheet like it was his lifeline. Turns out he didn’t need to bite his pillow after all.

Dave’s never really been one to be loud in bed, but he can’t seem to keep his mouth shut now. Everything feels like too much. 

“Ah, James. I—ah. Please—” The words don’t even make sense to him but he tries to voice out whatever it is that’s going through his mind. He’s overwhelmed and his brain is struggling to catch up with his mouth. All he’s focused on is the sensation of James’ tip rubbing against him.

He feels James take his hands, intertwining their fingers together and pinning both of his hands down to the mattress. Dave looks up at James with heavy lidded eyes, barely managing to focus on the sharp blue swirling with so many emotions. His heart feels so full and he almost feels like he’s going to burst.

“I love you,” he mutters in a breath and he would’ve been embarrassed about how desperate the words would’ve sounded like if it wasn’t for the way James’ entire demeanor softens.

James lets out a long, shaky breath before leaning down and pressing their foreheads together. Dave lets out a small gasp when James slowly pushes into him and Dave’s hands clench around the ones holding them together. 

“I hate you,” James says again and Dave can feel his breath on his face. “I hate that I love you this much.”

Dave can’t help the whine that escapes him, but it’s quickly replaced by a moan when James starts moving. It’s overwhelming and Dave’s not sure how he managed to last this long. 

“Me too. I hate how much I love you, it’s killing me,” Dave manages to say between gasps as he meets James’ thrusts with shallow moans. His hands are still pinned in between James’ in a tight grip and he’ll probably have tiny dots of red marked down his wrists for days.

“You really know how to screw up everything you touch, don’t you?” James murmurs but his tone is softer now, almost in awe. “You’ve already ruined me and you still have the audacity to make me fall in love with you.”

Dave’s too far gone to think of any response to that. All he knows right now is that he has James over him, inside him and he’s surrounded and consumed by everything that is James. Nothing else matters to him anymore.

Every touch, every sound, every breath and every movement of James sends jolts of pleasure through his entire body that leaves Dave dizzy and breathless. He’s completely lost in the sensation of James and Dave lets himself be pulled and pushed and guided. All he can do is keep his eyes on James, taking in the sight of sweat soaked blond hair and heaving chest that is moving in tandem with his. He would give anything to have this moment last forever.

Dave’s lost in the way James’ lips are pressed against all the sensitive spots on his neck while his hands are holding Dave’s hips in a tight hold, thrusting up into him while he continues the same steady pace. Dave grips the hand holding his a little tighter, a gasp and whimper escaping him. There’s the familiar tingle down in his loins, and he knows he’s getting close.

Dave’s not quite sure if it’s the way James keeps whispering how well he’s taking him, or the way he kisses his skin while saying he hates him, but his mind is spinning and he can’t hold back anymore. 

“James. I’m gonna—” Dave’s words dissolve back into a whine as his head curves back against the pillows, brow scrunched up and gasping. “Please. I need—I’m gonna...”

“Come for me.”

James’ voice breaks through the haze and Dave lets out a gasp, feeling his body tense up as his toes curl into the sheets. The pressure building up inside him finally releases and his spine arches off the bed. His legs shake as he comes, clenching around James so tight he might snap the poor guy’s dick off, and his vision swims with white. Dave is distantly aware of the sound of his own name echoing in his ears and the feeling of James thrusting into him, pumping his load deep into him, holding each other tight. 

His body is still trembling, every nerve in his body on fire and Dave’s struggling to catch his breath. He’s completely overwhelmed and drained. He’s not sure which part of his body is the most sensitive right now. 

A hand brushes against his face and Dave can hear James’ panting above him, before he feels the weight of the blonde on him as James’ body collapses. Dave weakly moves his arms around to hold the other against him.

They lay there in silence, the only sound in the room is the sound of their jagged breaths and the pounding of his own heart. Dave can feel James’ breath against his collarbones and the weight of his body on top of him leaves him with a sense of calm he hasn’t felt in months and he could just fall asleep at that very moment.

They’re both hot and sweaty and sticky and Dave’s pretty sure they need to change the bed sheets after this. But Dave doesn’t feel like moving and he’s more than happy to stay like this with James over him, their heartbeats racing against each other’s.

Dave idly runs his fingers down the other’s spine, tracing the sweaty skin and he hums gently at the shiver it earns from James. Dave can feel James’ hands gently rubbing at his sides, as if trying to soothe out the small tremors still going through his body from the aftershocks.

“I love you.” Comes a small, soft murmur, barely audible. 

Dave can’t even begin to describe what hearing those words from James does to his heart, and he hugs the other tighter against his body before moving one of his hands to cup the blonde’s face.

“Promise you won’t change your mind?” Dave’s voice comes out in a weak whisper and there’s a hint of insecurity in his words.

He feels James’ head move up from the crook of his neck and the other gently rests his chin against his chest so he can look at Dave with a frown. 

“Why the hell would I change my mind?” James mutters, a hint of annoyance in his voice. One of his hands moves to intertwine their fingers together. “You’re stuck with me now.”

And Dave thinks—no, he knows—that everything will be alright.

waitress jason inspired by all those crazy waitress bits james and jason had. ok bye.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PRINCESS JASON CURTIS NEWSTED RAWRRRRRRRRRR🦅💥🗣️🗣️🔥🔥💥🎂💥🔥🔥🔥💥🎉🦅🦅💥💥💥💥🎉🎂💥💥🗣️🎉🎊🎊🎂🎂🎂👏👏👏

watching a year and a half

cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other.