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Just finished watching the first episode of heeramandi (you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain) and this is my review WITH VAGUE SPOILERS

Alamzeb either has a mirror related kink or is just narcissistic

Everyone but Mallika has a crush on Cartwright and Cartwright cannot digest that

Mallika and Alamzeb are both rude and think it's superior and cute to be rude, respectively.

Everyone has a crush on Tajdar, including Mallika. (I think it's the hot translucent kurta with cute heart embroidery at the shoulder)

Alamzeb sucks at being quiet but that's not a huge issue, currently.

Consequently, Alamzeb's bestie/servant and Mallika's driver are fucking (in a haystack)(why)

Bibbojaan is the local eldest daughter who has too many responsibilities but is still loved by everyone around her because she developed a facade of being cute and bubbly.

The writers sat to plot down characters and searched up the things that booktok girlies find hot and wrote such scenes for Tajdar. (Him caging Alamzeb against a wall THRICE in the span of two meetings. Wow. Be less subtle, why don't you?) (kuch aur bhi baki ho toh make him say that he wishes he could worship her for their lives. Or make him caress her neck seductively)

Usse yaad aaya, Cartwright resorted to seducing Ustaad ji for info on Mallika??? DUDE. Seduction is an art. Answering your door in a towel isn't a part of that art. You're just asking him to jump your bones. All that naked chest and for what??? Hickeys.

Waheedan is smart. Absolutely love her stealing techniques. And she imagined a make out session with Cartwright within 3 minutes of meeting him. Fellow delulu girlie.

Lajjo has an alcoholism issue but she's got no issues on speaking facts. Alamzeb cannot be a shayra brother she needs to hone her skills

The casual child trafficking in this show is something that i don't have words for and hence I saved it for the last. It's honestly jarring how easily SLB mentions it. But as a writer, I get that he's trying to show how small of a thing it used to be at the time. Perhaps the trauma could have been explored more

I think we're seeing the show mainly from Alamzeb's pov and hence it's a little more rose tinted. Idk. Will find out

smosh is a greater reminder that im a loser in a loser's ugly body and i have no chances

Gang, my stomach is chronically upset and my head also hurts

so sometimes i do indeed love my quirks????

THIS BITCH NEEDS A DRIVERS LICENSE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Chairs that looks like piano keys because its white and the shadows through the design on the back make it look like piano keys

where the fuck is my bf obsessed with soulsborne games and will talk about them to me for hours????????

I NEED A REAL MAN

Cute nurse recharge?

I Need whatever the fuck jerma fans that make edits have. GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING DEALER