The Asseater's Pledge

The Asseater's Pledge

I WILL SNIFF before licking. A Man’s ass deserves to be savored. Inhaling its odor is a sign of respect and reverence.

I WILL LICK INSIDE AND OUT. Licking only around a Man’s asshole — and not also inside it — is deeply offensive because it indicates the asseater thinks it is above the act of putting its tongue inside a shit chute. An asseater is NOT above the act. In fact, it is below it, literally and figuratively.

I WILL NOT HESITATE, no matter the condition of a Man’s ass. An asseater must have no fear and no trepidation. It doesn’t matter if a Man’s ass is clean or dirty, smooth or hairy, sweaty or downright shitty. An asseater must eat, completely and with gusto.

I WILL EAT ASS “AS IS.” See above. To expect a Man to bathe before feeding me His ass is disrespectful of a Man’s valuable time, not to mention the fundamental superiority that His ass possesses over my face. An asseater may not discriminate.

I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF when eating a Man’s ass. His pleasure is my own. Further, to divide my attention between His ass and my cock is discourteous; His ass deserves my full, undivided attention.

I WILL NOT TALK WITH MY MOUTH FULL, although it is acceptable in between bites to thank a Man for the privilege of eating His ass and to communicate how enjoyable the taste and odor is.

I WILL MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE to eat a Man’s ass on His terms, to the best of my ability. A Man should never have to use toilet paper or soap to clean His ass when an asseater can do the job, instead.

I WILL KEEP EATING until told to stop, no matter what. An asseater is nothing more than a chair with the added feature of a tongue; therefore, a Man should be able to do anything while sitting on an asseater’s face that He can do while sitting in a chair, including but not limited to sitting full weight, farting, putting His feet up, etc. Further, a Man must feel free to sit on an asseater for as long as He would sit on a chair, whether minutes or hours.

I WILL PUT EATING BEFORE BREATHING. A Man should be able to sit on an asseater’s face — full weight — for as long as He likes. It’s not His responsibility to provide air to His asseater; it is only His responsibility to provide ass.

I WILL NOT PENETRATE a Man’s ass with my finger(s). A Man’s ass exists to be worshipped, sniffed, eaten and cleaned; only a faggot’s ass is for fucking, whether with finger, toy or cock, and a Man is NOT a faggot.

I pledge these things because I am an asseater, because I am in awe of Men, and because I am at their service.